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1
00:00:01,107 --> 00:00:03,500
So, Lisa Apple had a baby?
2
00:00:03,778 --> 00:00:06,230
- With Dad?
- Correct.
3
00:00:06,598 --> 00:00:08,718
I'm sure this is a little surreal.
4
00:00:08,724 --> 00:00:10,689
But once the shock wears off,
5
00:00:10,695 --> 00:00:13,692
you'll have this brand-new
baby sister to enjoy.
6
00:00:13,698 --> 00:00:16,674
7
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,073
O-okay. How is he not in trouble?
8
00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,573
I would think he would
be in serious trouble.
9
00:00:21,579 --> 00:00:23,095
Why would he be in trouble?
10
00:00:23,469 --> 00:00:25,491
We were not together when this happened.
11
00:00:25,497 --> 00:00:28,582
So, does that mean that
he put his "P" in her "V"?
12
00:00:28,588 --> 00:00:30,887
- Milo!
- It's okay. It's okay. I got this.
13
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,402
- Yep. But keep in mind,
- LENA: Martin.
14
00:00:34,408 --> 00:00:37,170
that is something that I do
pretty regularly to your mom.
15
00:00:37,176 --> 00:00:39,584
[QUIETLY]
With. You do it with their mom.
16
00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,700
Any chance I get.
17
00:00:41,706 --> 00:00:42,906
That's true.
18
00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:45,516
No further questions.
19
00:00:45,522 --> 00:00:46,899
No further pancakes.
20
00:00:46,905 --> 00:00:48,500
Uh, gotta motor.
21
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,679
Gonna be late tonight. College fair.
22
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:53,586
College fair? Seriously? Should I come?
23
00:00:53,592 --> 00:00:54,792
Up to you.
24
00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:56,384
So you do want me there?
25
00:00:56,576 --> 00:00:58,892
No presh, I just have to plan my day.
26
00:00:58,898 --> 00:01:00,932
27
00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:04,107
Keep giving me hope
for a better day
28
00:01:04,113 --> 00:01:07,557
Keep giving me love to find a way
29
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,904
Through this heaviness
I feel, I just need
30
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:17,314
-
Someone to say everything's okay
- Sync/Corrections by PetaG for www.addic7ed.com
31
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,482
-
Everything's okay
- [WATER RUNNING]
32
00:01:20,488 --> 00:01:22,983
I don't get it. They
didn't ask to meet her.
33
00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:24,237
They didn't even ask her name.
34
00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:26,126
How did I not know
about Mae's college fair?
35
00:01:26,666 --> 00:01:27,868
Hey, um...
36
00:01:27,874 --> 00:01:29,534
Lisa didn't say anything about me
37
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:31,846
- being able to see Annie?
- She'll get there.
38
00:01:31,852 --> 00:01:33,539
She just needs more time.
39
00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:37,502
Right now, Lisa's just really
stressed out about the financial stuff.
40
00:01:37,508 --> 00:01:38,800
And if she can't make it work,
41
00:01:38,806 --> 00:01:41,306
she's gonna have to move back
to Idaho with her parents.
42
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:44,319
Yeah, well, I don't know how much
longer I can sit on the bench.
43
00:01:44,325 --> 00:01:46,089
I mean, I thought I could, but...
44
00:01:46,095 --> 00:01:48,673
every day that passes, it's just...
45
00:01:48,679 --> 00:01:50,073
gnawing at me.
46
00:01:50,674 --> 00:01:53,975
You know, there's this little thing
that I didn't even know that I had,
47
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,290
I didn't even know that
I wanted, and she just...
48
00:01:56,397 --> 00:01:57,890
ripped it away.
49
00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:59,789
I just wish I could see her.
50
00:01:59,966 --> 00:02:01,274
Let me talk to her.
51
00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:02,840
Let me try.
52
00:02:03,449 --> 00:02:05,149
- I'll fix this. I will.
- Mm, okay.
53
00:02:05,155 --> 00:02:07,661
I-I feel bad about asking,
but I didn't actually ask,
54
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,158
you offered, so thank
you. That would be great.
55
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:13,026
Do I like being stuck
in the middle? I don't.
56
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:16,524
Am I keenly aware that
I put myself here? I am.
57
00:02:16,530 --> 00:02:18,696
But is there a way for me now
58
00:02:18,702 --> 00:02:21,403
to remove myself from the equation?
59
00:02:21,513 --> 00:02:22,828
Doubt it.
60
00:02:23,382 --> 00:02:25,668
Sorry. Am I not s'posed to answer?
61
00:02:25,786 --> 00:02:28,062
Am I just supposed to sit here like...
62
00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:29,694
[GASPS IN PAIN]
63
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,773
Maya? Oh, my God. Is this it?
64
00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:33,079
- Is it time?
- [LAUGHING] Yeah...
65
00:02:33,085 --> 00:02:35,157
That's what he wants you to think.
66
00:02:35,163 --> 00:02:36,439
[LAUGHS]
67
00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,476
Because he's a con man!
68
00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:41,882
I've been to the hospital three times
69
00:02:42,047 --> 00:02:44,556
only to be told he ain't comin'.
70
00:02:44,637 --> 00:02:47,935
Okay, you know eventually he is coming.
71
00:02:47,941 --> 00:02:50,250
[CHUCKLES] If you say so.
72
00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:52,554
Either way, I'm not going back,
73
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,560
not till I have a foot hanging out.
74
00:02:55,449 --> 00:02:57,739
You know babies are
born head-first, right?
75
00:02:58,617 --> 00:03:00,086
-
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
76
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:03,078
And Mom said Lisa might have
to move back to Idaho or Iowa
77
00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:05,996
or wherever she's from because she
doesn't have enough money to live.
78
00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,094
Listen to you. You sound
like the coastal elite.
79
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,929
- This is why they hate us.
- Okay, are you even listening?
80
00:03:10,935 --> 00:03:13,557
- We need to crowdfund Annie Apple.
- No thanks.
81
00:03:13,563 --> 00:03:15,912
To me, babies are little bags of barf,
82
00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:17,918
with disgusting black belly buttons,
83
00:03:17,924 --> 00:03:20,256
and don't get me started
on how irresponsible it is
84
00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:21,553
to bring one into this world.
85
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:24,526
I mean, polar bears are dying,
86
00:03:24,644 --> 00:03:26,620
and they're majestic.
87
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,930
I'm getting my tubes tied.
88
00:03:29,812 --> 00:03:31,133
O-Kay.
89
00:03:31,139 --> 00:03:33,823
90
00:03:33,829 --> 00:03:35,029
Hey.
91
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:36,875
Oh.
92
00:03:36,881 --> 00:03:37,953
[GASPS]
93
00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:41,153
Aww, how's it going?
Look at that big girl!
94
00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:42,856
Cherish every moment.
Before you know it,
95
00:03:42,862 --> 00:03:44,465
- she's gonna be...
- I need a favor.
96
00:03:45,942 --> 00:03:47,922
I applied for this
full-time teaching position
97
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,633
before Annie was born,
and I never heard back.
98
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,428
Well, they called, and they
want to interview me today.
99
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:55,023
- Can you watch her?
- Oh, my gosh, Lisa!
100
00:03:55,029 --> 00:03:57,343
A job interview? Are you ready for that?
101
00:03:57,349 --> 00:03:58,639
No choice, right?
102
00:03:58,928 --> 00:04:00,647
"Baby needs a new pair of shoes."
103
00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:03,242
You know, when baby starts walking.
104
00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:07,068
Yeah, right. Well, go get 'em!
And of course I'll watch her.
105
00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,865
- It'd be my pleasure.
- Thanks.
106
00:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,655
Oh, here are my house keys.
107
00:04:12,472 --> 00:04:14,768
- Yeah.
- Hey, how would you feel about me
108
00:04:14,774 --> 00:04:16,860
watching the baby at my house?
109
00:04:18,354 --> 00:04:19,790
Your house?
110
00:04:19,854 --> 00:04:22,557
I know the kids would love
to meet their half-sister.
111
00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:26,302
And I'm sure Martin
would love to see Annie.
112
00:04:26,457 --> 00:04:31,627
113
00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:35,134
- Okay. He can see her. Yeah.
- Yeah?
114
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:39,125
115
00:04:39,131 --> 00:04:40,361
Bye, baby.
116
00:04:41,128 --> 00:04:42,468
Love you forever.
117
00:04:42,474 --> 00:04:45,146
118
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,269
Hey, wait. You're coming back, right?
119
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:50,890
Oh, my God, of course!
Obviously! I just...
120
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:54,352
- [VOICE BREAKING] I just cry all the time now.
- Oh, it's okay.
121
00:04:54,358 --> 00:04:56,170
I remember. I did that, too.
122
00:04:56,176 --> 00:04:58,563
- [SIGHS] Okay.
- Good luck.
123
00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:01,352
- [VOICE BREAKING] Thank you. [SOBBING]
- Okay.
124
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:07,102
125
00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:09,991
Hey. Can you come home from work early?
126
00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,118
We got Annie.
127
00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:17,861
128
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,340
[ANNIE COOING]
129
00:05:20,346 --> 00:05:24,325
The thing is, my hands have
been so full of Apples lately
130
00:05:24,331 --> 00:05:26,746
that I haven't had much
time for anything else.
131
00:05:26,747 --> 00:05:28,050
[ANNIE COOING]
132
00:05:28,056 --> 00:05:30,442
And it's not like we're
not gonna see each other.
133
00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:34,644
- [ANNIE COOS]
- 'Cause I am down with your dad.
134
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,948
I knew you'd understand.
135
00:05:37,954 --> 00:05:39,409
- I'll be right back.
- [ANNIE FUSSES]
136
00:05:39,415 --> 00:05:42,012
[ANNIE COOING]
137
00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:43,218
[DOOR CLOSES]
138
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,286
[ANNIE COOING]
139
00:05:45,292 --> 00:05:50,036
140
00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:54,703
-
- [ANNIE COOING]
141
00:05:55,511 --> 00:05:57,325
You're here.
142
00:05:57,331 --> 00:05:59,909
Oh, my God, she really did it.
143
00:06:00,221 --> 00:06:02,095
Can I pick you up?
144
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:04,494
Is that okay? Huh?
145
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,189
I guess I'm just going to, so...
146
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:08,987
[SOFTLY] Oh, come here.
147
00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,621
Hi, little mama.
148
00:06:12,811 --> 00:06:14,951
You probably don't recognize me.
149
00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:17,760
There was a lot going
on that day, but...
150
00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:19,549
I'm your dad.
151
00:06:19,555 --> 00:06:21,322
- Yeah.
- [ANNIE COOS]
152
00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:22,962
Nice work, Dad.
153
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,851
Oh. I-I didn't wake her.
154
00:06:26,857 --> 00:06:29,041
Um, she was up. Is this... is this okay?
155
00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:31,409
- Am I allowed to hold her?
- Of course you can.
156
00:06:31,415 --> 00:06:33,341
I mean, I knew she'd be cute, but...
157
00:06:33,931 --> 00:06:35,866
I mean, this is like another level.
158
00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:38,062
Look at her. I mean,
would you look at her?
159
00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:39,453
[LAUGHS]
160
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,658
- Uh-huh.
- [ANNIE COOS]
161
00:06:40,938 --> 00:06:43,953
- You look great together.
- It feels great.
162
00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:47,448
Hey, you think you can
watch her for about an hour?
163
00:06:47,454 --> 00:06:50,552
W-what, you mean... you mean,
like, alone, unsupervised?
164
00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:55,550
Yeah. Your older daughter is
all grown up these days, but...
165
00:06:55,556 --> 00:06:57,792
I want her to know her
mom's still here for her.
166
00:06:57,798 --> 00:07:00,472
Okay. Um, what if Lisa shows up?
167
00:07:00,478 --> 00:07:02,488
What, should I just, like,
put Annie on the floor
168
00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:03,695
and hide in the closet?
169
00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:05,372
- Probably.
- Okay. [LAUGHS]
170
00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,371
It sounds crazy, but I
think you should talk to her.
171
00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:12,039
It's time for you to take the
reins, all right? I'm tapping out.
172
00:07:12,045 --> 00:07:13,164
- [ANNIE COOS]
- [MARTIN SIGHS]
173
00:07:13,169 --> 00:07:14,452
Okay.
174
00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:17,580
- So... hat girl, huh?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
175
00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:18,974
Yeah.
176
00:07:18,979 --> 00:07:22,164
What else should I know
about you? Nicki or Cardi?
177
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:24,343
Fallon or Kimmel?
178
00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:27,382
And where are we on the Bobs?
179
00:07:27,388 --> 00:07:29,567
Dylan or Seger?
180
00:07:29,573 --> 00:07:32,687
-
- [SMOOCHES]
181
00:07:32,693 --> 00:07:34,687
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
182
00:07:34,693 --> 00:07:40,053
183
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:41,238
Boo.
184
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,538
Mom! You actually came.
185
00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:44,948
Of course I came.
186
00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:47,149
I mean, you almost kind of sorta
187
00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:49,319
- said you wanted me to, so...
- [CHUCKLES]
188
00:07:49,578 --> 00:07:52,596
Yeah, what are your top-five choices?
We'll go to those booths first.
189
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,524
Okay. My first choice is Barnard.
190
00:07:54,602 --> 00:07:55,802
Barnard.
191
00:07:56,695 --> 00:07:58,381
That's in Manhattan.
192
00:07:58,387 --> 00:08:00,205
All the schools I want to
apply to are in New York.
193
00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:03,054
Yeah, definitely want to
be on the East Coast...
194
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,052
but Barnard is my top pick.
195
00:08:05,058 --> 00:08:08,460
They have an amazing writing program.
196
00:08:08,528 --> 00:08:11,577
Wow. New York.
197
00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:16,025
- Would you be supportive of that?
- Supportive? Oh, my gosh, yes.
198
00:08:16,031 --> 00:08:19,417
Yes. Super supportive.
Like, sports-bra level.
199
00:08:22,029 --> 00:08:23,710
I just hope you like roaches.
200
00:08:23,856 --> 00:08:26,154
- Roaches?
- Yeah, cockroaches.
201
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,637
They're huge in Manhattan.
202
00:08:27,643 --> 00:08:29,453
I don't want to deter you, but...
203
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:33,583
they can live for, like, a
month without their heads.
204
00:08:35,496 --> 00:08:37,132
It's just good to be informed.
205
00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:39,621
- Mom.
- Whatever happened to UCLA?
206
00:08:39,627 --> 00:08:42,611
You used to, like, run around
the house in that UCLA sweatshirt.
207
00:08:42,617 --> 00:08:44,517
Yeah, when I was 8.
208
00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,392
Early decision, I thought?
209
00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:49,299
UCLA is a fine school,
but I truly believe
210
00:08:49,305 --> 00:08:51,596
Mae, the intellectual risk-taker,
211
00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:53,211
would flourish at Barnard.
212
00:08:53,217 --> 00:08:56,374
She'd receive a high-quality
liberal arts education
213
00:08:56,380 --> 00:09:00,186
right at the center of cosmopolitan
New York City. [CHUCKLES]
214
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:03,186
Oh, the museums, the
theater, the piano bars.
215
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:05,193
Don't even get me
started on that skyline.
216
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:07,798
- Okay, Cuomo. Thank you.
- [BOTH LAUGHS]
217
00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:11,451
- Peekaboo! [GASPS] Peekaboo!
- [ANNIE LAUGHS]
218
00:09:11,457 --> 00:09:13,367
- Where did I go? Where did I go?
- [ANNIE CRYING]
219
00:09:13,373 --> 00:09:16,444
Oh, I'm right here. I'm right
here. I didn't go anywhere.
220
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:18,622
- [DOOR OPENS]
- I love you. I'm... I'm never gonna leave you.
221
00:09:18,628 --> 00:09:19,741
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [ANNIE CRYING]
222
00:09:19,746 --> 00:09:23,245
- Oh, my gosh. Is this Annie?
- This is Annie in the diaper.
223
00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:26,867
My gosh, she's cute as a
button, Dad. Literal button.
224
00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:28,390
I've seen cuter...
225
00:09:28,396 --> 00:09:29,490
in the mirror.
226
00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:31,174
- You wanna hold her?
- Duh.
227
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:32,679
- Wash your hands.
- Okay.
228
00:09:33,164 --> 00:09:34,468
MARTIN: [SOFTLY] Okay.
229
00:09:35,073 --> 00:09:36,074
[MARTIN CHUCKLES]
230
00:09:36,079 --> 00:09:39,152
All right. Let's get right in the crook.
231
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,630
[SOFTLY] Hi, Annie. I'm your big bro.
232
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,249
- I'ma look out for you
- [MARTIN CHUCKLES]
233
00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:47,216
Gonna make sure you don't end up
in the sticks or on the streets...
234
00:09:47,222 --> 00:09:48,894
or, God forbid, on the pole.
235
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,806
- No shame in that work, but... Okay.
- All right, gimme her, gimme her.
236
00:09:51,812 --> 00:09:53,915
Great. Uh...
237
00:09:54,191 --> 00:09:56,503
Buddy, why don't you
take a seat on the coach?
238
00:09:56,509 --> 00:09:58,871
It's your turn. There we go.
239
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,386
Open up your arms.
240
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,592
[GASPS]
241
00:10:01,598 --> 00:10:02,909
- Oh...
- [ANNIE COOS]
242
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,261
What's that, Annie?
243
00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:06,948
- [CHUCKLES]
- What'd she say to you, bud?
244
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:09,286
She wants to know what
it's like in the garbage.
245
00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,284
Okay, homework time. Homework.
246
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:14,285
Okay. Both of you
guys. Come on. Out, out.
247
00:10:14,794 --> 00:10:16,076
- Okay.
-
248
00:10:16,253 --> 00:10:18,383
That's okay, baby Apple.
249
00:10:18,495 --> 00:10:20,794
One day, you're gonna
kick both of their asses.
250
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,226
Yes, you will. Come
here. Okay, let's go.
251
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:27,717
At Sarah Lawrence, our students get
more one-on-one time with faculty
252
00:10:27,723 --> 00:10:29,704
than at any other
college in the country.
253
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,190
Hm. Sounds like a
lawsuit waiting to happen.
254
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,913
Mom, what's wrong with you?
255
00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:36,004
I think it's just a
little bit of empty nest.
256
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,487
Which is peculiar, 'cause
my dad keeps repopulating it.
257
00:10:39,493 --> 00:10:42,414
- Can I talk to you in the hall?
- Can I talk to you in the hall?
258
00:10:43,613 --> 00:10:45,943
- You can have one of these? Thank you.
- Of course. Of course.
259
00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:47,821
Mae!
260
00:10:48,426 --> 00:10:51,238
Is that why you want to run off
and go to school in New York,
261
00:10:51,244 --> 00:10:54,240
because of your dad and Lisa
and the whole Annie Apple thing?
262
00:10:54,246 --> 00:10:57,062
Believe it or not, New York
has a lot more going for it
263
00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:59,880
other than just being the
place where you guys don't live.
264
00:11:00,364 --> 00:11:02,477
What about that crack about your dad?
265
00:11:02,483 --> 00:11:05,786
What about your cracks?
Are you unraveling?
266
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:06,984
267
00:11:06,989 --> 00:11:09,464
I just want to make sure you're okay.
268
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,644
I'm okay.
269
00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:14,357
Some might argue that
I'm more than okay.
270
00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:16,045
271
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,652
When did you get so grown
up? It went by so fast.
272
00:11:19,658 --> 00:11:21,379
This was fast for you?
273
00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:24,688
- For me, it felt like forever.
- I blinked and I missed it.
274
00:11:24,962 --> 00:11:26,895
Maybe I just miss you.
275
00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:30,784
276
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,891
You're still the cutest one.
277
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,567
You're the smallest and the cutest
278
00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,666
and everyone loves you best.
279
00:11:37,789 --> 00:11:39,879
Hey, freaker. Come here.
280
00:11:42,859 --> 00:11:47,187
Okay. Now that I am officially
obsessed with our baby sister,
281
00:11:47,193 --> 00:11:48,988
aka the Apple of my Eye,
282
00:11:48,994 --> 00:11:51,300
I've decided to make a pledge-fund page
283
00:11:51,306 --> 00:11:53,258
in order to kick-start her life.
284
00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:55,605
-
Sweet pea
- _
285
00:11:55,611 --> 00:11:58,143
Apple of my eye
286
00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:02,307
Don't know when
and I don't know why
287
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:04,986
You're the only reason
288
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,596
-
I keep on coming home
- _
289
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,289
I cry almost every
time I watch it, but...
290
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:13,502
it's raised zero dollars
and has zero likes.
291
00:12:13,884 --> 00:12:16,992
- Why is it not connecting?
- Not sad enough.
292
00:12:17,264 --> 00:12:19,378
I know them, and I felt nothing.
293
00:12:19,384 --> 00:12:20,418
Really?
294
00:12:20,423 --> 00:12:22,596
Just sayin'. I'm not handing over
295
00:12:22,602 --> 00:12:25,233
- my hard-earned pesos to some rando...
- [LAPTOP CLOSES]
296
00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:27,827
who looks like she's
sponsored by The Honest Company
297
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,716
and her basic bitch baby.
298
00:12:30,247 --> 00:12:32,546
[BOB SEGER'S "STILL THE SAME" PLAYS]
299
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,609
- MARTIN:
Every time
- [ANNIE LAUGHS]
300
00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:37,960
They were sure they had you caught
301
00:12:38,696 --> 00:12:42,191
You were quicker than they thought
302
00:12:42,852 --> 00:12:47,455
-
You'd just turn your back and walk
- [DOOR OPENS]
303
00:12:47,461 --> 00:12:49,227
304
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,368
You always said
305
00:12:51,374 --> 00:12:54,288
The cards would never do you wrong
306
00:12:54,294 --> 00:12:57,401
307
00:12:57,407 --> 00:12:59,503
The trick, you said
308
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:02,784
Was never play the game too long
309
00:13:02,790 --> 00:13:05,692
310
00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:07,880
-
A gambler's share
- [ANNIE SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT]
311
00:13:07,886 --> 00:13:10,310
-
The only risk that you would...
- [LISA CLEARS THROAT]
312
00:13:10,316 --> 00:13:11,516
Lisa!
313
00:13:12,105 --> 00:13:16,100
- BOB SEGER:
The only loss you could forsake
- Hi. Uh... hello, oh, uh...
314
00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:17,602
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- In case you were wondering,
315
00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:19,797
- she's a big Seger fan.
- [ANNIE FUSSING]
316
00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:21,838
I checked. [CHUCKLES]
317
00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:23,791
Okay, shh, shh, shh. Here.
318
00:13:24,611 --> 00:13:28,409
It... She doesn't hate
me, I swear. She just...
319
00:13:28,415 --> 00:13:31,012
- This is her witching hour. She's colicky.
- No, I know.
320
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,874
All three of my kids were colicky, too.
321
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,180
Bad genes, I guess.
322
00:13:34,186 --> 00:13:36,595
- Huh.
- [CHUCKLES] But if she needs those
323
00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:39,774
big, giant glasses, that
won't be my fault. [LAUGHS]
324
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:41,965
Right, that's my
defining characteristic.
325
00:13:41,971 --> 00:13:42,972
[ANNIE CRYING LOUDLY]
326
00:13:42,977 --> 00:13:45,071
- They're really big.
- Yeah, I know!
327
00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:46,549
Okay. [SIGHS]
328
00:13:46,555 --> 00:13:49,807
Hey, you know, uh, when
they're fussing, um,
329
00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:51,719
I used to always do
the... the football hold.
330
00:13:51,725 --> 00:13:53,446
Did... did Lena show you that one?
331
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,633
- Eh, uh... no.
- May I?
332
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,362
- Come here. Come on.
- [ANNIE COUGHS]
333
00:14:01,368 --> 00:14:02,869
[SOFTLY] Hey, listen to me.
334
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,755
- [ANNIE CRYING]
- Okay. Okay.
335
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,471
- Here we go.
- [ANNIE SCREAMS]
336
00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:09,637
Okay. Shh, shh. Mm-hmm.
337
00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:10,949
- [ANNIE STOPS CRYING AND STARTS COOING]
-
338
00:14:10,955 --> 00:14:12,450
So, how'd the interview go?
339
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,967
Lena told me, so...
340
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,863
I...
341
00:14:18,613 --> 00:14:20,344
It went...
342
00:14:21,951 --> 00:14:24,158
[VOICE BREAKING] Uh, it... it went...
343
00:14:25,055 --> 00:14:26,258
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
344
00:14:26,264 --> 00:14:27,961
- No, Lisa, it's okay.
- [SOBS]
345
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,156
It's okay. It's a
stupid job anyway, right?
346
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:33,166
- You don't want that stupid old job.
- I got the job...
347
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,549
- Oh.
- and it's a great job.
348
00:14:35,555 --> 00:14:39,241
[SNIFFLES] It's at this
really progressive school.
349
00:14:39,247 --> 00:14:41,154
The kids are terrific.
350
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,830
The benefits are great.
351
00:14:43,224 --> 00:14:45,959
It's by this really cute little pond!
352
00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:48,709
- [SOBBING]
- Oh, no. No.
353
00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:51,201
I'm so sorry. That sounds...
354
00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:54,900
- wonderful.
- I know. It's full-time.
355
00:14:54,906 --> 00:14:56,521
Which means I'd never get to see Annie,
356
00:14:56,527 --> 00:14:58,885
and 90% of my paycheck
would go to childcare.
357
00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:00,283
- So what's the point?
- Lisa...
358
00:15:00,289 --> 00:15:01,892
Why is she so happy with you?
359
00:15:01,898 --> 00:15:04,486
- [SIGHS]
- Lisa, listen to me. Look.
360
00:15:04,492 --> 00:15:07,954
I-I am... I am more than
happy to help out, okay?
361
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,702
In fact, it's my duty to do so.
362
00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:14,413
Like, I could go to
jail for not helping out,
363
00:15:14,419 --> 00:15:16,247
so really, you're doing me a favor.
364
00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:17,850
You are keeping me out of jail.
365
00:15:17,856 --> 00:15:18,955
[CHUCKLES]
366
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:23,144
You think the reason I told you
this was so that you'd give me money?
367
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:26,053
- What? No, no, no.
- And you could feel good about yourself
368
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,865
'cause you found a way to play hero
369
00:15:27,871 --> 00:15:31,162
without leaving the comfort of
your Craftsman-style living room?
370
00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:32,368
Hey!
371
00:15:32,424 --> 00:15:34,940
I did not know that's what
kind of house this was,
372
00:15:34,946 --> 00:15:36,927
- and...
- I don't want your charity money!
373
00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:38,619
No thank you, Signor!
374
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:40,966
- [DOOR OPENS, DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
- Oh, God.
375
00:15:40,972 --> 00:15:42,819
I really hate it when
she calls me "Signor".
376
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:43,922
- [DOOR OPENS]
-
377
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:45,445
- I forgot my baby.
- Okay.
378
00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:49,093
- I-I don't usually do that.
- Hey, no, no, that's okay. Here.
379
00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:51,218
380
00:15:51,804 --> 00:15:52,805
381
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:55,507
So, you and Lisa didn't mend any fences?
382
00:15:55,513 --> 00:15:58,507
Ooh, I don't think she
wants to mend fences.
383
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,833
- I think she wants to... fence.
- Oh.
384
00:16:02,225 --> 00:16:04,452
But on the bright side, Annie!
385
00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:10,201
Annie. Oh, my gosh. She was so amazing.
386
00:16:10,207 --> 00:16:13,841
And I was so scared at first,
but then it all came back to me.
387
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,548
I mean, she cried, of course,
and then barfed, and...
388
00:16:16,554 --> 00:16:19,822
at one point, she stuck
her entire fist in my eye...
389
00:16:19,828 --> 00:16:21,941
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- but I, uh...
390
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,768
- I just loved every minute of it.
- Hmm.
391
00:16:24,866 --> 00:16:27,093
- Mae wants to go to Barnard.
- _
392
00:16:27,099 --> 00:16:30,986
Wow. Our little girl in
New York. Can't believe it.
393
00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:32,792
I think she'd like it there.
394
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,663
Yeah, she probably would.
395
00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:38,136
Hm. Lisa did that, too.
396
00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:39,531
Did what?
397
00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:42,040
Said happy words in a sad way.
398
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:46,626
[LENA GROANS]
399
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,339
Get ready to be impressed.
400
00:16:48,345 --> 00:16:53,046
- Okay. Getting ready.
- Hold on. All right. I'm ready.
401
00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:54,725
- [LAPTOP KEY CLICKS]
- [SARAH MCLACHLAN'S "ANGEL" PLAYS]
402
00:16:54,731 --> 00:16:56,644
-
In the arms
- Oh, see, I love this song.
403
00:16:56,650 --> 00:17:00,406
-
Of the angel
- I know. Me too.
404
00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:06,194
-
Fly away from here
- _
405
00:17:06,381 --> 00:17:11,706
-
From this dark, cold hotel room
- _
406
00:17:11,712 --> 00:17:12,784
That's not true.
407
00:17:12,789 --> 00:17:15,890
And the endlessness that you fear
408
00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:17,907
-
That you feel
- "Homless"?
409
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,774
- [LAPTOP SHUTS]
- Wow. Okay. Huh.
410
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:24,663
So, it seems like your heart is
in the right place... kinda...
411
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,781
but this is a huge invasion of privacy,
412
00:17:26,787 --> 00:17:29,761
and this is full of lies.
You cannot post that.
413
00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:32,760
Well, someone has to do something, okay,
414
00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:35,345
because if Lisa can't support herself,
415
00:17:35,351 --> 00:17:38,150
then she's gonna move away,
and we're gonna miss everything.
416
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,939
First steps, first solids, first...
417
00:17:40,945 --> 00:17:44,751
- "baby goes potty, like a big girl."
- Okay. Mace, go.
418
00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:47,809
Go be a teenager. Go do a meme. Go.
419
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:50,192
Someone has to take action!
420
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,100
[SIGHS]
421
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,184
God. I just...
422
00:17:55,903 --> 00:17:58,020
just don't want my
little girl to move away.
423
00:17:58,026 --> 00:17:59,593
Agree! You're the one who said
424
00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,748
that she'd love New York.
425
00:18:01,926 --> 00:18:04,131
Oh, I was... I was talking about Annie.
426
00:18:04,921 --> 00:18:06,928
- Oh.
- Yeah.
427
00:18:08,029 --> 00:18:10,524
We're both obsessing over our daughters,
428
00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:12,115
it's just different daughters.
429
00:18:12,121 --> 00:18:14,552
Annie's on her way in,
Mae's on her way out.
430
00:18:14,558 --> 00:18:16,226
My head is racing.
431
00:18:16,232 --> 00:18:19,742
Sounds like Mae's being really
responsible and independent.
432
00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:22,036
Isn't that, like, the
whole point of parenting?
433
00:18:22,042 --> 00:18:23,251
Not for me.
434
00:18:23,257 --> 00:18:26,282
I don't think you remember
what we were like at that age.
435
00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:28,598
We couldn't wait to get the
hell away from our parents.
436
00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:30,276
This is totally normal.
437
00:18:30,282 --> 00:18:33,389
Okay. We'll see how you feel
438
00:18:33,587 --> 00:18:35,276
if your kid's ever born.
439
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,982
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Um, Mom, do I have a Social Security number?
440
00:18:38,988 --> 00:18:41,597
Oh, my gosh, yes. You have a great one.
441
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,480
Here. I'll write it down for you.
442
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,089
Northwestern?
443
00:18:48,184 --> 00:18:52,443
I know Zach Braff went there, but
it still has a lot going for it.
444
00:18:52,449 --> 00:18:55,144
- Plus it's in Illinois.
- Illinois?
445
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:59,246
- A whole three states closer.
- See? That's what I'm talking about.
446
00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:00,557
Can you guys pick it up?
447
00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:03,255
I can't really see it, and
I'm getting kind of bored...
448
00:19:03,261 --> 00:19:07,199
449
00:19:07,205 --> 00:19:08,503
[DOORBELL RINGS]
450
00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:12,272
Who rings the doorbell?
I just got her to sleep!
451
00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:15,863
Annie likes me, Lisa,
even though you don't.
452
00:19:15,869 --> 00:19:17,574
And I don't need to
be a part of your life,
453
00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:19,265
but I do need to be a part of hers.
454
00:19:19,271 --> 00:19:21,855
And if you don't want
my financial support,
455
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,644
that's fine, okay? But
let me help in other ways.
456
00:19:25,650 --> 00:19:27,654
And you don't have to
move to be near family,
457
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,731
because Annie has family right here.
458
00:19:29,737 --> 00:19:32,069
She has me and three half-siblings
459
00:19:32,075 --> 00:19:34,019
who are all obsessed with her.
460
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:36,551
Well, Mason is obsessed with her,
461
00:19:36,557 --> 00:19:39,844
the other two, eh, they don't
really like her that much, but...
462
00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:42,355
whatever, one out of
three is not so bad, right?
463
00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:44,438
Look...
464
00:19:44,611 --> 00:19:47,014
you can take my help and still hate me.
465
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,803
I promise you, I will not
interpret it as forgiveness.
466
00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:52,225
I'll think about it.
467
00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:55,224
I'll take it.
468
00:19:55,230 --> 00:19:56,623
469
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,472
Do not smile back,
470
00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:01,177
because that I might misinterpret.
471
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:03,527
472
00:20:03,684 --> 00:20:04,884
Good.
473
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,668
Consistent.
474
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:08,957
Annie will benefit from that.
475
00:20:08,963 --> 00:20:11,304
- We done?
- We done.
476
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,727
477
00:20:14,733 --> 00:20:21,389
478
00:20:22,201 --> 00:20:25,121
- All right, this is the place.
- Okay!
479
00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:27,655
- Uh, we got a nice pull-out coach here.
- Soft stuff.
480
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:31,230
- Yeah. Uh, dining area, and this is...
- Smooth.
481
00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:34,564
the kitchenette. The fridge
is mini, but does good work.
482
00:20:34,752 --> 00:20:37,097
Oh, she's little, but brisk.
483
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,361
Would I be able to pay the
security deposit in installments...
484
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:42,672
through PayPal, perhaps?
485
00:20:42,678 --> 00:20:45,883
Uh, you could Venmo all the money
to Lisa Apple, the beneficiary.
486
00:20:45,889 --> 00:20:47,673
- Crypto okay?
- No. Grow up.
487
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,879
LENA: Hey, Mason.
488
00:20:49,272 --> 00:20:52,148
- Who's this?
- Uh, this is our new tenant, Dave!
489
00:20:52,154 --> 00:20:55,154
Uh, we met at Quiznos. We
both ordered the Spicy Monterey
490
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,260
- and got to talking.
- I volunteer there.
491
00:20:57,266 --> 00:20:58,639
And, um...
492
00:20:58,645 --> 00:21:01,387
he needed a new work
slash live space, so...
493
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:02,759
I breed ferrets.
494
00:21:02,969 --> 00:21:04,176
And capybaras.
495
00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:06,067
It's like a South American horse mouse.
496
00:21:06,073 --> 00:21:07,567
- I know what they are.
- Okay.
497
00:21:07,573 --> 00:21:09,567
No license. I don't
have a license for it.
498
00:21:09,731 --> 00:21:10,797
Hm.
499
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,411
I figured if we sublet the garage,
500
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,286
we could have some extra cash for Annie.
501
00:21:14,989 --> 00:21:16,780
- Nope. Bye, Dave.
- Ooh...
502
00:21:16,786 --> 00:21:19,408
Gotta go. Back to Quiznos. Shoo.
503
00:21:19,481 --> 00:21:20,684
Oh.
504
00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:23,585
- Gmail me if anything changes.
- I won't.
505
00:21:23,591 --> 00:21:28,591
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00:21:28,641 --> 00:21:33,191
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