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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:04,572
Whoo, JJ.
I've got fantastic news.
2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:05,839
Dylan?
3
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,007
[ Tuba note plays ]
4
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,243
I found your perfect aide
for college.
5
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:10,611
I said play the trumpets.
6
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,246
And I said 5 bucks.
7
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,615
[ Trumpet plays "wah-wah-waah" ]
8
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:18,286
This guy's good.
His name is Tim, and he's willing to relocate.
9
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,288
"Abilities Magazine" named him
one of the 30
10
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,855
hottest aides under 30.
11
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,057
And there's this thing
where celebrities
12
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,693
pre-hire aides in case
they get paralyzed.
13
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,894
He's Jake Gyllenhaal's.
14
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:29,130
The thing is, this Tim guy
lives in Seattle,
15
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,431
and he is in demand.
16
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,765
If we want him,
we've got to grab him.
17
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:33,801
Maybe make a road trip
out of it?
18
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,070
One last JJ adventure
before college?
19
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:37,338
Did someone say
"JJ adventure"? Aah!
20
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,208
God, you just called me
from the supermarket.
21
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:43,311
"This isn't one of our
spontaneous road trips.
22
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,080
They found a great aide
for me to meet."
23
00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,349
Plus, we know you've been
looking for opportunities
24
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,751
to make new JJ memories
before he's gone.
25
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,985
Do you know how much
it turns me on
26
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,721
when you engineer
mummy-son moments?
27
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:54,988
Ew.
28
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,957
Well, I'd like to kick
the tires on this guy.
29
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,560
And I'd love to see Seattle --
check out Starbucks.
30
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,295
I'm not sure if the first one's
still there.
31
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,430
The first one's there?
32
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,064
All right! Road trip!
33
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,467
Uh, Mom and Dad, too bad
this wasn't your idea.
34
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,069
You didn't have time to write
new lyrics to "Born To Be Wild".
35
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:12,906
[ "Born to be Wild" plays
on electric guitar ]
36
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,276
Vamp. I'm almost there,
darling.
37
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,945
* Annual DiMeo road trip
38
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:21,615
* We didn't have time
to practice *
39
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:24,452
* I wrote this in ten seconds
40
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:27,588
* So please give us a break
41
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:32,993
* It's a rug frog
with a destitution *
42
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,296
* We've never dug one
of these bagels *
43
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:39,099
* Just read what I wrote,
darling *
44
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:42,303
* I think I need glasses
45
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,871
A little further away?
46
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,639
Not their best work.
47
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:49,477
* Not our best work
48
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,580
-- Captions by VITAC --
49
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,883
Let's play 20 questions.
I'll go first.
50
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,985
Why do you think
I'm dressed like this?
51
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,020
Does it trouble you that
we've been driving for hours
52
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,622
and no one's cared to ask?
53
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,391
Yes. 19 left.
54
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,125
Why are you dressed
this way, Ray?
55
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,060
Well, I realized
my college résumé
56
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,529
was a pile of human waste.
57
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,631
So I decided to join
the Eagle Scouts
58
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,234
and beef up my extracurriculars.
59
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:17,305
It's a little noose-y.
Look, Kenneth.
60
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:20,741
An old friend
wants to say "Hello."
61
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,010
The JJ care manual!
62
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,912
Hello, Kenneth,
my old friend. [ Laughs ]
63
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,382
Now it's time to share me
with another newbie.
64
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,284
But we've been through a lot,
Kenneth.
65
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,485
We are going to miss you.
66
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,324
Binder, you said "we."
67
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,561
The binder's right, Kenneth.
68
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,167
Pop, I don't want to overuse
the "Are we there yet?",
69
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,903
but stuff's getting weird
back here.
70
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,039
Our timing's gonna depend on
how many more unscheduled
71
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,942
mother-son photo ops
your mom tries to jam in.
72
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,910
Ooh! An ordinary bird.
Quick, stop.
73
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,680
Ray: How many more
pictures with JJ? [ Camera shutter clicking ]
74
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,949
All of these stops
are making me carsick.
75
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,917
Ray, you know the DiMeo
road trip rule --
76
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,719
getting carsick
isn't a choice...
77
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,856
All: But letting the vomit
leave your mouth is.
78
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,258
Ooh!
Make a right here.
79
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:17,064
And then a left to get
back on the real road?
80
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,766
No, no, no.
It's a shortcut.
81
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,867
[ Scoffing ]
82
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,235
[ All shout ]
83
00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:24,605
I wouldn't go down
that way if I was you.
84
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,975
Road's mighty bumpy, and those
tires look a little bald.
85
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:29,810
You're bald.
86
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,580
[ Laughter ]
87
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,648
Sorry,
but you did set me up.
88
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,484
Anyway, my map's
telling me this shortcut
89
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,586
gets us to Seattle
two hours early.
90
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,821
Your funeral.
91
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:46,327
[ Laughs loudly ]
92
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,097
So...what are we thinking
about that?
93
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,533
I think we're DiMeos
and we can handle a few bumps.
94
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:59,473
**
95
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,742
[ Thudding ]
96
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,778
Just two more miles like this,
then we hit a gas station.
97
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,480
[ All scream ]
98
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,582
Then 30 more miles like this.
99
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,251
[ Indistinct shouting ]
100
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:20,160
I told you we should've
listened to that old man!
101
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,763
Yep, that's a rock.
102
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,932
Boom!
Geology badge.
103
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,335
"Do we have spare tires?"
104
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,502
Sure do.
105
00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,038
Been driving on them
for four years.
106
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,641
All right.
Anybody have any reception?
107
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,010
Aha!
108
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,446
I found a quarter.
109
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,513
Helpful, Dylan.
110
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,882
You going for
a jealousy badge, Scout?
111
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,351
Maybe someone will come along
112
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,886
and I could stop them
with a flash of ankle.
113
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,120
Jimmy:
I don't think anyone's coming.
114
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,889
We should probably
just roll the tires
115
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,157
to that gas station
up the road.
116
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,225
"I'll take one.
Lay it on me."
117
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:53,994
Come on, dirt road selfie time,
JJ.
118
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,095
Oh!
119
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,866
[ Splashing ]
Aah!
120
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,067
Maya's JJ bible!
121
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,068
Ow!
122
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,203
Oh, my hitchhiking ankle!
123
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,972
Who would want you now?
124
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,740
On a scale of 1 to 10,
what's your pain level?
125
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:07,908
Aah! 2!
126
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,477
Help me up.
127
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,678
Ahh. Ah!
128
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:13,180
I'm fine to walk
into town with JJ.
129
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,014
Watch me.
130
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,349
Aah!
131
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,718
Aah! [ Whimpers ]
132
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,753
And so on.
133
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,489
JJ, you better stay here
with your mom.
134
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,424
I'll take the tires
into town myself.
135
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:26,660
"How will you carry
two flat tires?"
136
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,129
[ Laughs ] Check this out.
137
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,965
Ah...Oh.
138
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:38,439
[ Grunts ]
139
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,774
Son of a...
140
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:41,942
[ Grunting ]
141
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,513
So heavy.
142
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,282
And so on.
143
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,584
No!
144
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,587
The book --
it fell in the river!
145
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,355
The pages, they --
they washed away.
146
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,557
My life's work.
147
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,026
And the only thing that gave
your life meaning.
148
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,061
What should we do?
We got to re-create it
149
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,530
while it is still
fresh in my mind.
150
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,399
I will help you, my friend.
151
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,235
"We need to hurry.
152
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,970
The woods are making
them weird."
153
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,238
I'll go, too.
154
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:14,141
This quarter is burning
a hole in my pocket.
155
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,342
Okay, but I want to make
something clear.
156
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,944
We're not gonna have any fun
and we're not gonna make
157
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,680
any memories that your mom might
feel like she's missing out on.
158
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,148
Maya: Yes, don't enjoy
yourselves.
159
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,816
That is all I ask.
160
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,051
[ Groans ] Ray, you coming?
161
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,118
Hardly.
162
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,887
A scout's place
is in the jungle.
163
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,023
Th-- This is not a-a...
164
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,258
We'll be back soon.
165
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,727
All right. Page 1 --
166
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,328
Welcome to the family.
167
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:39,733
Both:
You are not, nor will you ever be good enough for this.
168
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,273
Y'all need a mechanic?
169
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,476
"Didn't we just see you
on the road?"
170
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,577
Oh, that must have been
my brother.
171
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,344
He likes to warn travelers
about that bumpy road.
172
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,346
The mechanic will be
back soon enough.
173
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,716
Y'all can wait in the diner
across the way.
174
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,986
"World's best waffles?
175
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,821
Let's make them prove it."
176
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,590
And I can spend my quarter.
177
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,091
I've been holding it so long,
178
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,293
the Dumbledore guy's
printed on my palm.
179
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,828
Jimmy:
I don't know, guys.
180
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,963
It's not a great look for us
to be eating waffles
181
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,365
while the rest of them
are stranded in the woods.
182
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,701
Let's just stay here.
183
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,207
Or in a seat with a view
of here.
184
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,242
Expectations low.
185
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,944
This will be empty
and depressing.
186
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:27,114
**
187
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:30,250
[ Indistinct conversations ]
188
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,220
**
189
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,355
Man, your worldview
is flawed.
190
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,125
Ray: I'm off to forage.
191
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,361
I'm gonna bring some extra
sustenance just in case.
192
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,297
Hey, how do you make a, uh,
a scout journal dance?
193
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,034
Put a little jerky in it.
194
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,468
Not sure that makes sense.
195
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,937
He likes a clever exit line.
196
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,705
So hilarious, darling.
197
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,507
Well done.
Yeah, bye.
198
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,408
All right, where were we?
199
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,144
Let's double back to
the prologue.
200
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,847
"And in the beginning,
there was JJ and Maya.
201
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,617
And the JJ was with Maya, and
the JJ was Maya --" Oh, no.
202
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,652
That can't be right, can it?
203
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,720
No, that's what you wrote.
204
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,156
It is so much harder
to re-create it in my mind.
205
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,825
Well, if you're stumped,
then I have very good news.
206
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,261
I made a copy,
207
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:17,565
and I brought mine
to show Tim, too!
208
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:21,101
Oh, Kenneth,
I could kiss you...
209
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,369
if it weren't strictly
prohibited
210
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:25,272
in the section on mother-helper
interactions.
211
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,908
You changed it.
212
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,543
[ Laughs ] I sure did.
213
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,946
With Care Book 2.0,
JJ's ready for anything.
214
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,215
I made a few changes,
made some corrections.
215
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,685
Oh, it's way better.
216
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,252
[ Chuckles ]
217
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,121
Oh, Maya...
218
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,557
you've suddenly developed
an unrelated eye twitch.
219
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,394
Wow.
Mmm.
220
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:51,699
"These really are the world's
best waffles. Try one, Dad."
221
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,201
No, I don't need breakfast.
222
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:58,138
I just need this mechanic to get
back from his break, fast.
223
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,374
Just a couple flats, guys.
Okay to laugh.
224
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,976
Hey, Mabel or something
like that.
225
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,378
What kind of trouble
can I get into with this?
226
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,581
We got prize machines
in the back.
227
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,982
A machine
for 25 cents?!
228
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,918
[ Gasps ]
229
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,485
She'll figure it out.
230
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:13,486
Mm-hmm.
231
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,788
[ Bell jingles ]
232
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,657
I'm sorry I'm not that much fun.
233
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,125
We just got to get out of here.
234
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,193
Aren't you nervous about
missing the big Tim meeting?
235
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,462
[ Exhales sharply ]
236
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,798
"I'm nervous about a lot.
237
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:25,999
Can I ask you something?
238
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,401
Don't tell Mom."
239
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,138
W-- Just a...father-son
powwow?
240
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,339
Just for fathers and sons?
241
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,474
No moms or siblings allowed?
242
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,609
Sure, sure.
243
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:41,715
"College is starting
to feel real now --
244
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,784
being on my own
245
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,154
without you or Mom
or Kenneth.
246
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,056
How do I meet people?
247
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,658
It's hard for me."
248
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:56,830
Buddy, college is the place
to be nonverbal.
249
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,832
All anybody wants to do
is talk about themselves.
250
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:01,534
You ask a question
and just let them go.
251
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:02,502
But you're great,
252
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,271
and people will see that.
253
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,940
It -- It can
be a slow start.
254
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,942
It was for me.
255
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,177
I think I ended up okay.
256
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,047
"Ending up like you?
257
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,716
I'll take it."
258
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,420
It's nice to get to
talk like this.
259
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,024
You know what?
I'll take a bite.
260
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:29,229
**
261
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,163
Wow.
262
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,198
Wow!
263
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,233
Oh, wow.
Mechanic's back.
264
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,435
Mm.
Practice meeting someone.
265
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,337
Get, like, 100 more of these.
266
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,074
This is wrong.
267
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,642
Incomplete.
268
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,344
"Tactics for handling Maya."
269
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,480
Damn it, this would
actually work.
270
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,017
Maya, relax.
I just filled in some gaps.
271
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,721
Oh, so now you think you can
teach me about caring for JJ?
272
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,155
Okay, I'm sensing some tension.
273
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,257
Let me work towards my
communication badge
274
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,892
by practicing mediation
275
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:02,095
while eating some
probably-not-poisonous plants
276
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,497
for my wilderness
survival badge.
277
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,599
Mom...tell Kenneth how you feel.
278
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:13,741
I feel like Kenneth is
second-guessing my ability
279
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,743
to care for JJ with his book
of secrets and lies.
280
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:16,977
Kenneth.
281
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,782
[ Gags ]
282
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,284
I feel that Maya
doesn't appreciate
283
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,554
the strides JJ has taken
since he met me.
284
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,556
And she is jealous
that my book
285
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,524
covers everything!
Now --
286
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,593
I think Kenneth
is an ungrateful stooge.
287
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,928
And I feel like you
can kiss my ass!
288
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:38,098
Great. Now that the, uh,
conflict has been resolved --
289
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,066
Get out!
Make me!
290
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,033
Oh.
291
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,536
Wh-- Get back here
with that book!
292
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,637
See ya!
293
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,606
Aah!
Are you insane?!
294
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,608
JJ's best pickup lines
are in there.
295
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,743
Aah.
296
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,613
Decisions, decisions, huh?
297
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,448
The obvious choice
is the bouncy ball --
298
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,317
the classic.
What are you thinking?
299
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,518
I'm just waiting to use
the restroom.
300
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,820
But, I mean, that tattoo --
301
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,656
just the fact that the sun
itself is wearing sunglasses...
302
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,425
that makes you think.
303
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,961
Yeah. You're gonna want to think
on it on the can.
304
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,562
Yell it out when it
comes to you.
305
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,233
Uh, hello?
306
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,670
Oh, so you are the mechanic.
307
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,106
Or...are you the one
from the road?
308
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,908
Sounds like you been talking
to my two brothers --
309
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,342
one of whom likes
to warn travelers
310
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,011
about the bumpy road,
311
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,979
the other who tells people
I'm not here.
312
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:28,949
Sure.
Listen, I've got a couple flats.
313
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,984
Yeah, I can patch them quick.
Now, if you want new ones,
314
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,719
I'll have to go to
the next town over.
315
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,921
You'd be here a while.
316
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,657
Stuck here with my son?
317
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,592
Well, if the new ones
are safer.
318
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,028
Nope, never said that.
319
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,762
Yeah, I'll be in the diner
when they're ready.
320
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,999
[ Cat Stevens'
"Father and Son" plays ]
321
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:46,800
Well, you did it.
322
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,301
Broke the record for eating
323
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,469
the most waffles
in one sitting.
324
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,671
Oh!
Ye-- Yeah.
325
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:52,873
Yeah, no, great.
I did it.
326
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,207
How'd you even know that
that was the record?
327
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,976
We took that sign down.
328
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,677
* It's not time
to make a change * No, I saw a sign.
329
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:01,348
Uh-huh.
* Just relax, take it easy
330
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,383
All right, very nice.
331
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,551
Yeah!
There it is.
332
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,953
There, wait for it.
And --
333
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,187
Yeah! Perfect!
334
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,655
Nice. Nice!
335
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,657
* Find a girl
320's good.
336
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,992
[ Upbeat song plays ]
Huh?
337
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:15,929
Yeah, first one fit
the tone better, yeah.
338
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,831
It did.
339
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,099
Yeah, okay.
340
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,767
* Why, think of everything
you've got *
341
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,869
* For you will still
be here tomorrow *
342
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,838
I love you.
343
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:25,873
* But your dreams --
344
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,007
[ Splash ]
345
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,641
I hate it here now.
346
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,077
Ray: Uh, hey, Mom.
347
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:33,180
The greens I gave you
to eat about an hour ago --
348
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,548
you haven't swallowed them yet,
have you?
349
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,584
Bear. Bear, bear,
350
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:38,952
bear, bear, bear,
bear, bear, bear. He's back.
351
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,088
[ Doors lock, handle rattling ]
352
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,923
Maya!
Can't come in my van.
353
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,425
Go make your own van 2.0
and get in that.
354
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,060
Let me in!
There's a bear out there!
355
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,028
A bear?
356
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,429
Was its coat black?
357
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:50,397
It's brown!
358
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,499
Sounds to me like a brown bear.
359
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,101
Really? Does a brown bear
sound like a brown bear?
360
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,102
Let me in!
361
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,803
Your book covers
everything.
362
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,671
I'm sure there's a chapter
on imaginary bears.
363
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,507
[ Bear growls ]
Aah!
364
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,375
Aah!
365
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,911
Bear, bear, bear!
366
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,313
Hey, it was a brown bear.
367
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:08,848
Tires came back.
You're all set.
368
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,018
Oh. Okay.
369
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,486
Is there anything else
you can do to the car?
370
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,721
Maybe change the oil?
371
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,390
Typically, you need the car
present to do that.
372
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,159
Oh, so you're
the funny brother.
373
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,227
Oh.
374
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,231
Hey.
375
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,299
I, uh, just talked
to the mechanic --
376
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:30,070
Excuse me. I noticed your,
uh, boy eyeing my tractor.
377
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,739
You two like to take it
for a spin?
378
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,976
And he said it would be ready
in one tractor ride.
379
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,077
Huh?
380
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,448
Hey, that mechanic
ever come back?
381
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,882
I am the mechanic.
382
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,285
Maybe you were talking
to one of my two brothers.
383
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,553
One of them --
I don't care. Look, I'm ready to go.
384
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,555
When are you gonna be
done with our tires?
385
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,258
Ah.
386
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,892
I feel, like, 30% manlier.
387
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:53,793
Should we get going?
388
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:54,761
Don't want to keep them waiting.
389
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,296
Well, of course not.
390
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,999
But, sadly, those darn tires
just aren't ready yet.
391
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,800
Then why would
the tire brother
392
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,936
tell me they've been
ready for an hour?
393
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:05,105
[ Engine starts ]
394
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,339
Sayonara, suckers!
395
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:14,614
**
396
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:17,717
Felt a lot faster
when we were yelling "Wheee!"
397
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,389
[ Bear growls ]
[ Gasps ]
398
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,758
It's okay.
399
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,195
You're inside,
and bears don't know doors.
400
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:28,962
[ Thud ]
401
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:29,963
Oh!
402
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,231
Bears know doors!
403
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,765
Mankind's reign has ended!
404
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,668
Aah!
405
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,705
Aah!
Mayas know doors!
406
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,775
Check, please.
407
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,811
"Why don't you want to go back?
What's going on, Dad?"
408
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,679
I don't know.
409
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,282
This place is so great.
410
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,185
And this is our last
road trip.
411
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,720
And you're going away soon.
412
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,990
And I saw an opportunity,
and, uh...
413
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,627
I just wanted to spend
time with you, bud.
414
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,695
I've been so focused on making
sure that Mom got time with you
415
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:06,833
because she needs it, but she's
not the only one -- Huh.
416
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,837
She's not the only one
who's gonna miss you.
417
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,840
[ Sniffles ]
Dad?
418
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,075
"Are you crying?"
419
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,676
No, I'm not.
No.
420
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,745
[ Sniffles ]
421
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,150
No, kids. I'm not supposed
to make you cry.
422
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,252
My job is to make you
not-cry.
423
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,520
"It's okay.
424
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,721
Let it out."
425
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,759
I am just gonna
miss you so much.
426
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,527
And I think about
the kids in your dorm
427
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:38,231
and your professors who
get to see you every day
428
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,932
like it's nothing.
429
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,369
I don't know why
they get to do that.
430
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,238
They get to take
the best part of my day --
431
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,308
being with you guys,
being with you alone.
432
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,079
That's it.
I just wanted one more day.
433
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:58,285
"Don't worry. There's time for
Mom bonding and Dad bonding.
434
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,886
I'll make time."
435
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:05,858
**
436
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,294
I miss Dad.
437
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,096
So do I.
438
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,463
Ayup!
439
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,168
[ Sniffles ]
440
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:21,474
This tear is the most
precious prize of all.
441
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,111
So weird.
442
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,680
I can't believe I'm stuck
here with the last person
443
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,982
I'd ever choose to be
eaten by a bear with.
444
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,119
Why would you choose
to get eaten by a bear, Kenneth?
445
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:35,288
Must you undermine me
every chance you get?
446
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,658
I can't believe I ever thought
we were actually friends.
447
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,993
Please. It was always
a friendship of convenience based around JJ.
448
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,895
You know what? This is dumb.
Come on, let's go. Yeah.
449
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:45,432
[ Both scream ]
450
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,766
[ Bear growls ]
451
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,301
Oh, no!
452
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,970
I don't want to die angry.
It's what everyone would expect.
453
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,773
I could never die
angry at you.
454
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,343
I only did my manual
to be more like you.
455
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,644
R-Ready for anything.
456
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,279
[ Growls ]
Aah! Oh!
457
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,614
This isn't a friendship
of convenience for me.
458
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,316
Me neither.
459
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,252
[ Bear growls,
metallic rattling ]
460
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:07,754
Hey, bear!
461
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,021
[ Rattling continues ]
462
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,490
[ Bear growls ]
463
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,658
Ray!
464
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,194
Call me Reverse Goldilocks,
465
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:17,430
'cause this is gonna
feel just wrong.
466
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,132
I'm big and making noise,
467
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,067
and bears hate
468
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,636
big things
making noise.
469
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,672
Ray, stop attracting
the bear!
470
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,341
It's supposed to
scare the bear!
471
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,377
She's right!
You're seducing the bear.
472
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,878
Dude looks thirsty.
473
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,081
Or hungry.
474
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,284
[ Bear growls ]
[ Sniffs ]
475
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,685
It's the jerky smell.
476
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,553
No, there's no more jerky,
bear.
477
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,855
This is just my record
of my achievements.
478
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,658
I need this
to get into college.
479
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,195
Or do I?
480
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:51,564
If the sum of me
is what's on these pages,
481
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,699
am I really anything at all?
482
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,800
Stop it, Ray!
483
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,068
You're making him hungrier --
or hornier!
484
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,304
You're right.
485
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,938
Goodbye, scout Ray.
486
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:01,874
[ Bear growls ]
487
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,580
Darling, well done!
488
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,982
Oh, I'm so sorry
about your scout book.
489
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,218
It's okay.
490
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,786
Facing down a bear makes
collecting badges
491
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,122
just to prove myself on paper
seem silly.
492
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,959
But also, I fought off
a frickin' bear!
493
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,262
That's gonna look great
in my college essays.
494
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,163
Oh, there he is.
Kenneth: Maya!
495
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,234
Maya: Oh, Kenneth.
496
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,668
Are those your pages?
497
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:29,936
Our pages --
498
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,271
from both manuals!
499
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:35,575
It's a double JJ
Care Book miracle.
500
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,109
Um, excuse me, guys.
501
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,579
There's still a bear
very much at large here.
502
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,047
Right.
Ow.
503
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,949
Oh, allow me.
504
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,751
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
505
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,620
The least I can do after you
taught me how to do this.
506
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:48,955
Oh, yeah, and you're
doing it
507
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,290
so wrong.
508
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,427
[ Laughs ] Ah, man.
509
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:57,964
That Tim guy is gonna
love this JJ super book.
510
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:58,931
Oh, look.
511
00:19:58,965 --> 00:19:59,999
We both have a page
512
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,569
on how to deliver
JJ's punch lines.
513
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,103
Maya and Kenneth:
With a slight head nod.
514
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:06,105
Maya,
515
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,707
I have come
to share my feelings.
516
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,108
I want to spend
more time with JJ,
517
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,209
so I want to ride
in the back.
518
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,444
Oh, that's okay, darling.
519
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,579
I want to sit next
to my friend Kenneth.
520
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,114
We can tell stories
and share secrets.
521
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,317
I have one about Jimmy.
522
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,951
I have one
about Jimmy, too.
523
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,019
[ Both laugh ]
524
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,155
Bet you're pretty jealous
of my dad tear.
525
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,691
I'm not.
Quit asking me.
526
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,293
All right, guys.
Let's move 'em out.
527
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,261
Next stop, Tim!
528
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,062
All:
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
529
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,331
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
530
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:32,599
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
531
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,467
Jimmy:
Oh, pretty bumpy back here.
532
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,736
Is it always like this?
All: Keep it in the mouth.
533
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,271
Oh, God.
Keep it in the mouth.
534
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,342
[ Laughs ]
535
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,343
Seattle!
536
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,778
"We made it to Tim."
537
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,314
Man, Seattle people
are grouchy.
538
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,581
Barely grazed the guy.
539
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,917
I hit his wife's car way harder.
540
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,018
Check me out, Seattle.
541
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:53,486
I am a fish thrower.
542
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,788
Ow!
543
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,325
Dude, you got to
catch the fish.
544
00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,427
I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.
545
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,330
[ All shouting indistinctly ]
546
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,664
Intricate, beautiful plan
of shortcuts!
547
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,367
We are here for an appointment
with Tim.
548
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,336
Tim, your order's ready.
549
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,472
It's Tim!
550
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,743
[ Crunching ]
551
00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:20,947
Oh, oh, oh!
You can run!
552
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,315
Well, you're gonna have
a look at this book!
553
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:24,317
Kenneth: My best friend
is talking to you!
554
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:28,917
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