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1
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,447
- You want to destroy the entire world?
- [POPS LIPS]
2
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:06,341
Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
3
00:00:06,365 --> 00:00:08,273
This here is a restaurant.
4
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:11,388
What? I call it... Lazy Susan's.
5
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:15,725
I already have a prototype for the claw.
6
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:19,395
ELIZA: All we have to do
is get these two to kiss.
7
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,197
- Friday?
- Friday.
8
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,484
- Yes!
- [LAUGHS]
9
00:00:22,508 --> 00:00:23,592
Yes!
10
00:00:23,594 --> 00:00:25,335
Is that enough time?
11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,738
Just barely.
12
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:30,873
[TICKING]
13
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:34,076
14
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,212
[TICKING CONTINUES]
15
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:42,885
16
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,778
This is it.
17
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:46,879
The big day.
18
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,940
If I don't land these investors...
19
00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:54,601
Lazy Susan's doesn't stand a chance.
20
00:00:56,505 --> 00:00:57,815
Who you pitching to?
21
00:00:57,839 --> 00:01:00,285
A couple of real power players.
22
00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:01,742
[DIALING]
23
00:01:03,312 --> 00:01:05,632
Mom, Dad?
24
00:01:06,782 --> 00:01:08,359
I'm coming home.
25
00:01:08,383 --> 00:01:10,161
26
00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:17,657
27
00:01:17,659 --> 00:01:19,837
[BELL DINGING]
28
00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:25,310
29
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,666
[SCREAMING]
30
00:01:26,668 --> 00:01:32,177
31
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:40,191
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:40,215 --> 00:01:42,393
Da-doo-di-da
33
00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:44,262
Da-doo-di-da
34
00:01:44,286 --> 00:01:46,397
Da-doo-di-da
35
00:01:46,421 --> 00:01:48,065
Da-doo-di-da
36
00:01:48,089 --> 00:01:49,801
Da-da-da, di-da
37
00:01:49,825 --> 00:01:53,338
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
38
00:01:53,362 --> 00:01:55,072
[DOOR OPENS]
39
00:01:55,096 --> 00:01:57,074
No, buddy. No, you listen to me, okay?
40
00:01:57,098 --> 00:01:59,410
What don't you understand
about supply and "command"?
41
00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:00,700
I mean, it's easy.
42
00:02:00,702 --> 00:02:02,347
I want those numbers going up, not down.
43
00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:04,015
And if you can't... Sorry.
44
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,484
If you can't put...
Then it's your ass, all right?
45
00:02:06,508 --> 00:02:07,907
I-I want... Yes.
46
00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:09,709
At the end of the quarter,
I want those numbers
47
00:02:09,711 --> 00:02:11,079
on my desk, yesterday.
48
00:02:11,104 --> 00:02:12,222
- [TONES PLAY]
- Right.
49
00:02:12,224 --> 00:02:13,304
WOMAN: We're sorry.
50
00:02:13,306 --> 00:02:14,506
Wow.
51
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:15,885
Sorry. Work stuff.
52
00:02:15,909 --> 00:02:19,222
Just, if I leave for a minute,
it's, uh...
53
00:02:19,246 --> 00:02:20,301
Anyway, hi.
54
00:02:20,325 --> 00:02:22,091
- Hey, there, kiddo.
- It's been a while.
55
00:02:22,115 --> 00:02:24,361
Bring it in. [CHUCKLES]
56
00:02:24,385 --> 00:02:27,987
Mom, Dad. [GRUNTS]
57
00:02:31,592 --> 00:02:33,225
Okay.
58
00:02:35,596 --> 00:02:37,974
All right, guys, how's it looking?
59
00:02:37,998 --> 00:02:40,043
All good here. Sam showered today.
60
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:42,912
Good here, too. Laura's picked
out her least-stained shirt.
61
00:02:42,936 --> 00:02:44,848
Craig, have they finalized
their plans for the date?
62
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:46,315
Yes. They are going to the cinema.
63
00:02:46,339 --> 00:02:47,450
That is perfect!
64
00:02:47,474 --> 00:02:49,340
Dark theater,
sitting next to each other...
65
00:02:49,342 --> 00:02:50,854
It doesn't get more romantic than that.
66
00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:53,857
- What are they seeing?
- Oh. This.
67
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,324
HERZOG:The sewer.
68
00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:57,549
Tunnels filled with feces.
69
00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:59,462
Rats and slime.
70
00:02:59,486 --> 00:03:01,531
The stench of human waste.
71
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:04,601
Descend with me into this nightmare world
72
00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:05,957
of our own making...
73
00:03:05,959 --> 00:03:07,358
in 3-D.
74
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,738
Yeah, they're not
gonna kiss watching that.
75
00:03:08,762 --> 00:03:10,073
What do we do?
76
00:03:10,097 --> 00:03:11,941
We gotta get them on a better date.
77
00:03:11,965 --> 00:03:13,543
78
00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:15,745
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
79
00:03:15,769 --> 00:03:17,168
So, how's your planet, son?
80
00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:18,681
It's going great, Dad. Thanks for asking.
81
00:03:18,705 --> 00:03:21,172
We just celebrated another
million years without war.
82
00:03:21,174 --> 00:03:23,753
Wow. Somebody's going
after his mom's record.
83
00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:26,022
[LAUGHS] And, sweetheart,
84
00:03:26,046 --> 00:03:28,291
I heard you're doing an amazing
job running your planet.
85
00:03:28,315 --> 00:03:30,093
Well, you know, it's a utopia,
86
00:03:30,117 --> 00:03:32,161
so it kind of runs itself.
87
00:03:32,185 --> 00:03:33,986
[LAUGHTER] Of course.
88
00:03:35,856 --> 00:03:37,156
GOD: [CLEARS THROAT]
89
00:03:40,794 --> 00:03:42,393
Me too.
90
00:03:42,395 --> 00:03:43,512
What?
91
00:03:43,536 --> 00:03:46,798
Oh, uh, yeah, I'm also doing really good.
92
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,378
Oh, right.
93
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:49,846
Your... planet.
94
00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:51,632
Uh, how is Turd?
95
00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:54,383
It's... It's "Earth."
96
00:03:54,407 --> 00:03:55,919
Earth. Right. Sorry.
97
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:57,320
Earth.
98
00:03:57,344 --> 00:03:58,388
My apologies.
99
00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:00,123
It's going really great.
100
00:04:00,147 --> 00:04:01,524
Thanks for asking.
101
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,460
But... ahem...
102
00:04:03,484 --> 00:04:06,217
I've actually been working
on a whole new project.
103
00:04:06,219 --> 00:04:08,019
- Here we go.
- All right.
104
00:04:08,021 --> 00:04:10,667
Mom, Dad, it's pitch time.
105
00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,024
Come on.
106
00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:14,871
[SIGHS]
107
00:04:14,895 --> 00:04:17,807
[BLOWING]
108
00:04:17,831 --> 00:04:19,142
Okay, okay, new pitch.
109
00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:21,010
Uh, how about a romantic carriage ride?
110
00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,746
Nope. Sam's afraid of horses.
111
00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:24,013
Doesn't like their eyes.
112
00:04:24,037 --> 00:04:26,083
All right, then, uh,
what about an eyeless horse?
113
00:04:26,107 --> 00:04:27,438
We get some crows, right?
114
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,752
Wait, where are you getting crows from?
115
00:04:28,776 --> 00:04:30,219
It's Earth. Anywhere.
116
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:31,621
We get them to swoop down
117
00:04:31,645 --> 00:04:33,645
and peck the eyes out of the horse.
118
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:35,424
No, crows only peck eyes
out of dead things, though.
119
00:04:35,448 --> 00:04:36,848
So unless you're gonna get
a dead horse...
120
00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:38,249
Then I'll get a dead horse!
121
00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:40,497
Have you guys ever thought
about a Kiss Cam?
122
00:04:40,521 --> 00:04:42,053
Rosie. That's brilliant!
123
00:04:42,055 --> 00:04:43,655
Sorry. What... W-What is a "Kiss Cam"?
124
00:04:43,657 --> 00:04:45,368
Oh, it's this thing
they do at sporting events.
125
00:04:45,392 --> 00:04:46,836
They find two people in the stands,
126
00:04:46,860 --> 00:04:48,705
point a camera at them,
and they have to kiss.
127
00:04:48,729 --> 00:04:50,373
SANJAY: There's
a basketball game tonight.
128
00:04:50,397 --> 00:04:52,175
The arena is in
Sam and Laura's neighborhood.
129
00:04:52,199 --> 00:04:53,843
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Are we all... We all positive
130
00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:56,245
this is the best idea, just
putting them on a massive screen
131
00:04:56,269 --> 00:04:57,514
in front of loads of people?
132
00:04:57,538 --> 00:04:58,679
Let's make it happen.
133
00:04:58,703 --> 00:04:59,837
Yeah.
134
00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:01,384
[KEYBOARDS CLACKING]
135
00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:04,854
And on this island, there
are dozens of capable chefs
136
00:05:04,878 --> 00:05:06,456
making all sorts of foods...
137
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,859
pizza, pasta, even French, right?
138
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,260
And when you see a food you like,
139
00:05:11,284 --> 00:05:13,863
you grab it with this long claw.
140
00:05:13,887 --> 00:05:15,999
And it all goes down...
141
00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:18,357
at Lazy Susan's.
142
00:05:19,893 --> 00:05:22,472
GOD:
If you're cruisin' for a boozin'
143
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,274
Come on down to Lazy Susan's
144
00:05:25,298 --> 00:05:27,944
If you're in the mood for gumbo
145
00:05:27,968 --> 00:05:30,413
And you like your drinks with rum-o
146
00:05:30,437 --> 00:05:32,415
Then it's time to have some fun-o
147
00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:34,083
I don't know how they put up with this.
148
00:05:34,107 --> 00:05:38,822
-
It's Lazy Susan's time
- Mom's on a lot of pills.
149
00:05:38,846 --> 00:05:40,223
Whoo! [LAUGHS]
150
00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,624
Okay, Nelson, I think we've got it,
151
00:05:41,648 --> 00:05:43,226
but let's just get a few more takes,
152
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,627
- just to be on the safe si...
- Wow.
153
00:05:44,651 --> 00:05:46,496
So, I guess what's left
is to talk numbers?
154
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:50,633
Well, uh, before your father
and I invest in this... thing,
155
00:05:50,657 --> 00:05:52,608
- we need to talk in private.
- Yes.
156
00:05:52,632 --> 00:05:54,971
Ohh! I see. You want
to get together your offer.
157
00:05:54,995 --> 00:05:56,528
[LAUGHING] All right.
158
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,441
But if you think you're
gonna take more than 49%,
159
00:05:58,465 --> 00:06:00,043
you got another thing coming.
160
00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:01,711
[CHUCKLES]
161
00:06:01,735 --> 00:06:03,221
All right.
162
00:06:04,071 --> 00:06:05,649
I was just kidding.
163
00:06:05,673 --> 00:06:06,850
I love you guys.
164
00:06:07,294 --> 00:06:08,560
Love you.
165
00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:13,623
Hey, Sam. So, this is weird,
166
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,580
but it looks like the theater
we were gonna go to tonight
167
00:06:15,582 --> 00:06:16,911
is on fire.
168
00:06:16,936 --> 00:06:18,161
[SIRENS WAILING]
169
00:06:18,185 --> 00:06:19,295
Is everyone okay?
170
00:06:19,319 --> 00:06:21,164
No. A lot of people died.
171
00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:23,166
- Oh, God.
- So, is there anything else
172
00:06:23,190 --> 00:06:24,589
you might want to do tonight?
173
00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:26,791
This is gonna sound weird, but, uh,
174
00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:29,572
two tickets to a basketball
game landed on my head.
175
00:06:29,596 --> 00:06:31,708
- What?
- Yeah, I was eating lunch,
176
00:06:31,732 --> 00:06:33,643
and a crow dropped them on me.
177
00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:35,600
They look like pretty good seats.
178
00:06:35,602 --> 00:06:36,979
Okay.
179
00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:38,648
Should we do that?
180
00:06:38,672 --> 00:06:39,716
Sure.
181
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:41,740
- [CHUCKLES]
- Nice.
182
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:44,987
- What?
- I just...
183
00:06:45,011 --> 00:06:47,412
How can we even be sure they're
going to end up on camera?
184
00:06:47,414 --> 00:06:48,591
All right, there's gonna be dozens
185
00:06:48,615 --> 00:06:49,926
of other couples going to this game.
186
00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:52,863
- Actually, there's...
- [KEYBOARD CLACKING]
187
00:06:52,887 --> 00:06:54,130
- 212.
- Right.
188
00:06:54,154 --> 00:06:55,332
So there's virtually no chance
189
00:06:55,356 --> 00:06:56,666
of Sam and Laura getting picked.
190
00:06:56,690 --> 00:06:57,600
Craig's right.
191
00:06:57,624 --> 00:06:59,763
- We need to cull the herd.
- What?
192
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:03,406
We take out all the other
couples, by any means necessary.
193
00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:04,807
- Good job, Craig.
- Amazing work.
194
00:07:04,831 --> 00:07:07,210
- This is really great.
- Thanks?
195
00:07:07,234 --> 00:07:09,412
Thank you.
196
00:07:09,436 --> 00:07:13,283
The good news is
that we are very proud of you.
197
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:18,621
And we love that you have... ideas.
198
00:07:18,645 --> 00:07:21,246
- Great.
- That being said,
199
00:07:21,248 --> 00:07:22,625
with the market being what it is,
200
00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:24,761
we just don't think now is a good time
201
00:07:24,785 --> 00:07:26,385
for us to invest in anything.
202
00:07:28,055 --> 00:07:29,454
What about them?
203
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:31,634
You invest in their stuff all the time.
204
00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:32,835
Well, uh...
205
00:07:32,859 --> 00:07:36,172
we just think the concept
for your restaurant...
206
00:07:36,196 --> 00:07:38,041
might be difficult to execute.
207
00:07:38,817 --> 00:07:42,420
Oh, well, I mean,
if you have any notes at all,
208
00:07:42,444 --> 00:07:44,869
I mean, big or small,
I'm... I'm totally open.
209
00:07:44,871 --> 00:07:48,072
Well, if you're asking for
notes, um, the "food claw"...
210
00:07:48,074 --> 00:07:50,453
Yeah, the claw stays.
I'm married to the claw.
211
00:07:50,477 --> 00:07:52,455
You lose the claw,
and you're compromising
212
00:07:52,479 --> 00:07:53,924
the integrity of Lazy Susan's.
213
00:07:53,948 --> 00:07:55,125
I mean...
214
00:07:55,149 --> 00:07:57,482
[LAUGHS] "Get rid of the claw," she says.
215
00:07:57,484 --> 00:07:59,262
[LAUGHS]
216
00:07:59,286 --> 00:08:00,485
Anything else?
217
00:08:00,487 --> 00:08:02,487
All right, guys. Keep it up.
218
00:08:02,489 --> 00:08:04,048
Only a few couples left.
219
00:08:04,072 --> 00:08:06,803
- [ENGINE SPUTTERS]
- Come on, baby. [GRUNTS]
220
00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:08,805
[STEAM HISSING]
221
00:08:08,829 --> 00:08:11,408
Nice work, Eliza.
222
00:08:11,432 --> 00:08:13,009
[WIND GUSTING]
223
00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:14,411
Aah!
224
00:08:14,435 --> 00:08:16,146
Aah! Aah! No!
225
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,414
Ah! Great job, Rosie.
226
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,017
I can't go to the game.
227
00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,574
I have diarrhea.
228
00:08:24,979 --> 00:08:26,623
Sanjay, gross.
229
00:08:26,647 --> 00:08:28,891
That wasn't me.
That guy just has diarrhea.
230
00:08:29,348 --> 00:08:30,376
Oh.
231
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,917
Well, anyway, we're in great shape.
232
00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:34,122
Look.
233
00:08:35,522 --> 00:08:37,567
Not as many people as I expected.
234
00:08:37,591 --> 00:08:40,525
Yeah, looks like we have this entire row
235
00:08:40,527 --> 00:08:42,328
- to ourselves.
- [CHUCKLES]
236
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,041
Maybe these are bad teams?
237
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:46,443
That's okay.
238
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,294
Honestly, I don't know that
much about basketball anyway.
239
00:08:49,318 --> 00:08:50,787
Me neither.
240
00:08:50,811 --> 00:08:52,337
I was just gonna
start cheering for the team
241
00:08:52,339 --> 00:08:54,041
that you started cheering for.
242
00:08:54,043 --> 00:08:55,918
Wait. That was my plan, too.
243
00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:57,320
[BOTH LAUGH]
244
00:08:57,344 --> 00:08:59,122
- Cheers?
- Cheers.
245
00:08:59,146 --> 00:09:00,657
[LAUGHS]
246
00:09:01,232 --> 00:09:03,126
Ahh.
247
00:09:03,150 --> 00:09:05,928
You know, I'm glad
those tickets fell on your head.
248
00:09:05,952 --> 00:09:07,197
This is fun.
249
00:09:07,221 --> 00:09:08,953
- You're not bored?
- [CHUCKLES]
250
00:09:08,955 --> 00:09:10,755
I think you could have
taken me anywhere tonight,
251
00:09:10,757 --> 00:09:12,157
and I wouldn't have been bored.
252
00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:13,936
No, okay. I think we should
disable the Kiss Camera.
253
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,339
Craig. No. They are getting
there on their own.
254
00:09:16,363 --> 00:09:17,607
They don't need any extra pressure.
255
00:09:17,631 --> 00:09:19,009
The Kiss Cam's gonna work.
256
00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:20,976
I mean, think about it.
257
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,367
Put yourself in Sam's shoes.
258
00:09:22,369 --> 00:09:23,680
How so?
259
00:09:23,704 --> 00:09:26,483
Imagine you're, like, this lonely guy,
260
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:28,685
not a lot of friends, socially awkward,
261
00:09:28,709 --> 00:09:30,220
everyone thinks you're weird.
262
00:09:30,244 --> 00:09:31,754
Okay, I will imagine that.
263
00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:35,425
And then one day, out of
the blue, this girl shows up,
264
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:39,384
and you think she's the coolest
person you've ever met.
265
00:09:39,386 --> 00:09:41,986
Right, yes. And the more
you spend time with her,
266
00:09:41,988 --> 00:09:45,435
the more you realize this girl kicks ass.
267
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,303
She's awesome. You really like her.
268
00:09:47,327 --> 00:09:49,972
Okay. And it builds, and it builds
269
00:09:49,996 --> 00:09:52,775
until, one night, she's
sitting right next to you...
270
00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:54,799
like, as close as I am to you right now.
271
00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:56,329
- Mm-hmm.
- And everyone's looking.
272
00:09:58,672 --> 00:10:00,317
You'd go for it. Right?
273
00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:02,985
Well, no, not necessarily.
274
00:10:03,009 --> 00:10:05,988
Not if I was unsure
about how she felt about me,
275
00:10:06,012 --> 00:10:08,391
or was scared to death
of losing her as a friend,
276
00:10:08,415 --> 00:10:11,194
and also pretty frightened
of her in general.
277
00:10:11,218 --> 00:10:12,662
- What?
- What?
278
00:10:12,686 --> 00:10:14,331
Anyway, let's put it to a vote.
279
00:10:14,355 --> 00:10:16,399
Um, all against.
280
00:10:16,423 --> 00:10:18,184
All for.
281
00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:21,738
Okay, well, I suppose I have no choice
282
00:10:21,762 --> 00:10:22,939
but to accept the will of the group.
283
00:10:22,963 --> 00:10:24,992
This is a democracy, after all,
284
00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:26,665
so, yeah, consider the matter settled.
285
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,633
- Craig!
- Whoa!
286
00:10:28,635 --> 00:10:29,946
- Hold on!
- What the [BLEEP]!
287
00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:32,615
No! You're wrong! These are
two very shy people!
288
00:10:32,639 --> 00:10:34,439
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
289
00:10:34,441 --> 00:10:36,019
- Oh!
- I'm sorry.
290
00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:38,488
I'm very sorry. That was unprofessional.
291
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,423
And I'm completely out of line.
292
00:10:40,447 --> 00:10:42,225
Frankly, I am ashamed of myself.
293
00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:43,760
- No!
- Oh!
294
00:10:43,784 --> 00:10:45,428
- You open that cabinet!
- No!
295
00:10:45,452 --> 00:10:46,897
- Yes.
- No, you'll ruin this!
296
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:49,299
Do not put me in there! No!
297
00:10:49,323 --> 00:10:51,367
- Get him in.
- No! No, no!
298
00:10:51,391 --> 00:10:54,237
- Ah, you're making a huge mistake!
- [LOCK ENGAGES]
299
00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,048
Let's get back to work.
300
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:58,709
You guys, I... I [SIGHS]
301
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:01,244
I-I don't get the hesitation, right?
302
00:11:01,268 --> 00:11:02,512
You love the concept.
303
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:03,868
And there's hardly any overhead.
304
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,182
There's no tables, no waiters,
305
00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,872
no bathrooms, no walls...
306
00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:09,786
Why aren't there any bathrooms?
307
00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,676
Well, because it's a lazy river.
308
00:11:12,245 --> 00:11:13,672
So people would just...
309
00:11:13,696 --> 00:11:15,273
Yeah. They just go.
310
00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:19,099
Son, I'm not sure this is for us.
311
00:11:19,101 --> 00:11:20,279
Why?
312
00:11:20,303 --> 00:11:23,303
It just seems like
a... a very ambitious project,
313
00:11:23,305 --> 00:11:24,416
and we're worried...
314
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,285
That you might not be able to handle it.
315
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,888
Whoa.
316
00:11:29,912 --> 00:11:31,800
Y-You don't think I can do this?
317
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,028
You think I'm not... good enough?
318
00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:38,519
You think there's
something wrong with me?
319
00:11:38,521 --> 00:11:39,832
No. No, sweetie,
320
00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:41,500
that's not what we were saying at all!
321
00:11:41,524 --> 00:11:44,903
No, no, no, no. We... We...
We love the river restaurant.
322
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,505
Really?
323
00:11:46,529 --> 00:11:48,707
Yep. Count us in, champ.
324
00:11:48,731 --> 00:11:50,193
Okay, good!
325
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:53,133
Now, for the first
10 locations, I've budgeted...
326
00:11:53,135 --> 00:11:55,447
- Are you kidding me?
- You're gonna bankroll this?!
327
00:11:55,471 --> 00:11:56,937
He's very passionate about it.
328
00:11:56,939 --> 00:11:58,184
It... It seems unique.
329
00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,052
That's just what you said
about the Earth.
330
00:12:00,076 --> 00:12:02,254
Okay, wait. This is way
different from the Earth.
331
00:12:02,278 --> 00:12:04,256
Mom, it's not. It's the same thing.
332
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,792
Just another water circle
with people scrambling for food
333
00:12:06,816 --> 00:12:08,260
and shitting everywhere!
334
00:12:08,284 --> 00:12:09,284
Look.
335
00:12:11,908 --> 00:12:13,732
Remember when he pitched this?
336
00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:15,401
It was insane.
337
00:12:15,425 --> 00:12:16,602
It makes no sense.
338
00:12:16,626 --> 00:12:19,405
But we haaaad to be supportive
'cause he's the baby.
339
00:12:19,429 --> 00:12:21,273
Yeah, let's just forget
that he flunked out of school
340
00:12:21,297 --> 00:12:23,609
and write him a blank check
to start his own planet.
341
00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:26,278
Hey, I started nine planets.
342
00:12:26,302 --> 00:12:27,946
Yeah, well, you only got
one of them to work.
343
00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:29,615
Kids, that's enough.
344
00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:30,956
Your brother tried his best.
345
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:32,351
That's what makes it so sad.
346
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:33,886
You guys are being too harsh.
347
00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:36,377
How bad can Turd possibly be?
348
00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:37,690
We'll tell you.
349
00:12:37,714 --> 00:12:39,958
[SIGHS]
350
00:12:39,982 --> 00:12:42,361
[CROWD CHEERING]
351
00:12:42,385 --> 00:12:44,096
Oh!
352
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,698
Whoo!
353
00:12:45,722 --> 00:12:54,773
354
00:12:54,797 --> 00:12:58,110
ANNOUNCER: What-What-What-What.
What the what?!
355
00:12:58,134 --> 00:13:01,447
It's time for the Jammin' 103 Kiss Cam!
356
00:13:01,471 --> 00:13:05,840
Brought to you by
T.J. and Piggie In The Morning.
357
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,844
Ooh, there's a cozy-looking couple.
358
00:13:11,614 --> 00:13:14,192
Ho-ho! A little shy, I guess.
359
00:13:14,216 --> 00:13:16,016
CROWD: [CHANTING] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
360
00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:17,930
- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
- Come on. Kiss her.
361
00:13:17,954 --> 00:13:19,465
Come on. Get it over with.
362
00:13:19,489 --> 00:13:23,223
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
363
00:13:23,225 --> 00:13:25,003
Craig was right. They're choking.
364
00:13:25,027 --> 00:13:27,262
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
365
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,134
[CROWD CHANTING "KISS! KISS!"]
366
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,378
You guys, it's gonna be fine, okay?
367
00:13:33,402 --> 00:13:35,506
Just relax. They're gonna do it.
368
00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:37,182
Wait, what the hell is this now?!
369
00:13:37,206 --> 00:13:40,207
ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh.
Look who's on the prowl!
370
00:13:40,209 --> 00:13:42,321
Here comes a real stud, folks.
371
00:13:42,345 --> 00:13:45,124
It's M.C. Dunks. Go get 'em, Dunks!
372
00:13:45,148 --> 00:13:47,126
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
373
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:50,529
Looks like M.C. Dunks wants a smooch.
374
00:13:50,553 --> 00:13:53,332
Damn it, M.C. Dunks! Get away from them.
375
00:13:53,356 --> 00:13:57,136
[CROWD BOOING] ANNOUNCER:
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
376
00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,461
I said, "Get... away"!
377
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:04,409
[GROANS] Oh!
378
00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,670
Aah! Help!
379
00:14:06,672 --> 00:14:08,085
- Ohh! Oh, help!
- Oh!
380
00:14:08,087 --> 00:14:09,148
- Oh!
- Oh, God.
381
00:14:09,172 --> 00:14:10,615
- Oh. Aah!
- Hey, man.
382
00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:12,017
- What are you... What...
- Hey, you gotta help me.
383
00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:13,162
What are you talking about?!
384
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,241
- Oh, my...
- Help me!
385
00:14:14,243 --> 00:14:15,154
- What? Stop!
- Please!
386
00:14:15,178 --> 00:14:16,755
- Aah!
- Oh!
387
00:14:16,779 --> 00:14:17,879
[CROWD "OHHS"]
388
00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:23,428
M.C. Dunks is dead.
389
00:14:23,452 --> 00:14:25,164
He's dead!
390
00:14:25,188 --> 00:14:26,565
They killed him.
391
00:14:26,589 --> 00:14:28,033
MAN: Murderers!
392
00:14:28,057 --> 00:14:29,691
[CROWD BOOING]
393
00:14:30,727 --> 00:14:33,638
- They're leaving the arena.
- It's over.
394
00:14:33,662 --> 00:14:36,231
[BANGING]
395
00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:39,178
Explain cows.
396
00:14:39,202 --> 00:14:40,445
I don't want to do this anymore.
397
00:14:40,469 --> 00:14:42,114
Tell Mom and Dad what a cow is.
398
00:14:42,138 --> 00:14:44,650
[SIGHS] It's like a big dog
you can drink from.
399
00:14:44,674 --> 00:14:45,985
And what's a dog?
400
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:48,453
A small cow you can be friends with.
401
00:14:48,477 --> 00:14:50,856
Tell them about giraffes.
402
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,125
What's a giraffe?
403
00:14:53,149 --> 00:14:54,882
[SOFTLY] It's just a tall dog with...
404
00:14:54,884 --> 00:14:56,529
Louder. Speak up.
405
00:14:57,072 --> 00:15:00,333
[LOUDLY] Tall dog with a leg for a neck.
406
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,267
[SIGHS] What is going on?
What is happening?
407
00:15:02,291 --> 00:15:04,803
Are... Are these real animals?
408
00:15:04,827 --> 00:15:07,406
You made all these things?
409
00:15:07,430 --> 00:15:10,676
This is what you did with
the 4 grand we gave you?!
410
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:11,677
T-T-That's it. I'm done.
411
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:13,746
I-I'm not talking about this anymore.
412
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:15,102
We're almost finished.
413
00:15:15,104 --> 00:15:17,233
Explain your pi?ce de r?sistance.
414
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:19,418
Explain humans.
415
00:15:19,442 --> 00:15:21,620
Oh, come on, Ricky. Just stop it!
416
00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:22,710
You made your point.
417
00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:24,757
These creatures live on his planet.
418
00:15:24,781 --> 00:15:28,293
But only on the surface, because
he forgot to build the middle.
419
00:15:28,317 --> 00:15:30,495
So the inside is just fire.
420
00:15:30,519 --> 00:15:34,166
Anyway, these humans are born
nude... like, fully naked.
421
00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:35,522
He gave them no instructions,
422
00:15:35,524 --> 00:15:36,997
and they just do whatever they want.
423
00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:38,103
What do you mean?
424
00:15:38,127 --> 00:15:39,705
He gave them free will.
425
00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:42,775
Son, is this true?
426
00:15:42,799 --> 00:15:44,710
Why would you do that?
427
00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:46,645
I thought it would make them happy.
428
00:15:46,669 --> 00:15:48,247
I thought, with all that freedom,
429
00:15:48,271 --> 00:15:51,050
they... they could do great things.
430
00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:52,517
[SIGHS]
431
00:15:52,541 --> 00:15:55,188
Instead, they... they
just mostly ended up...
432
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,483
like me.
433
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:02,116
Ah...
434
00:16:05,622 --> 00:16:08,189
[SIGHS]
435
00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:13,581
It was supposed to be better.
436
00:16:15,164 --> 00:16:17,999
[SIRENS WAILING]
437
00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:28,787
CRAIG:
Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket
438
00:16:28,811 --> 00:16:29,922
You live on a shelf
439
00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:31,924
One is wet, and one is dry
440
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,814
And you are both my friends
441
00:16:33,816 --> 00:16:35,585
-
Mr. Mop and Mrs...
- Hey.
442
00:16:35,587 --> 00:16:37,796
So, um...
443
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:40,532
I'm sorry we put you in the cabinet.
444
00:16:40,556 --> 00:16:42,068
CRAIG: No, I'm... I'm sorry.
445
00:16:42,092 --> 00:16:44,070
And, also, guys,
I've been thinking about it,
446
00:16:44,094 --> 00:16:45,626
and you're absolutely right.
447
00:16:45,628 --> 00:16:48,096
The Kiss Cam really is our best shot.
448
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,545
- It failed.
- Oh.
449
00:16:52,569 --> 00:16:54,813
I mean, m-maybe it's not all bad.
450
00:16:54,837 --> 00:16:56,749
I mean, traumatic events
bring people together,
451
00:16:56,773 --> 00:16:58,771
so... so maybe Sam and Laura
can bond over this.
452
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:00,749
Right? Maybe?
453
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:04,819
That was horrible.
454
00:17:04,843 --> 00:17:06,020
Yeah.
455
00:17:06,044 --> 00:17:09,045
So, uh, I guess you want to go home now.
456
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:10,959
What do you mean?
457
00:17:11,556 --> 00:17:13,049
Well, um, I don't know.
458
00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:14,651
Because you just said
that you were having
459
00:17:14,653 --> 00:17:16,899
- a horrible time, so...
- That's not what I said.
460
00:17:16,923 --> 00:17:18,855
Well, that's what it sounded
like you said.
461
00:17:18,857 --> 00:17:21,503
Okay, well, sounds like
you want to go home.
462
00:17:21,527 --> 00:17:23,171
What? What do you mean?
463
00:17:23,195 --> 00:17:25,707
Like, you're the one who keeps
talking about going home, so...
464
00:17:25,731 --> 00:17:26,909
Well, that's 'cause I-I was thinking
465
00:17:26,933 --> 00:17:28,443
that you wanted to go home.
466
00:17:29,157 --> 00:17:31,268
W-Well, I kind of do, now.
467
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,115
- [SCOFFS]
- [SIGHS]
468
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,621
Okay, fine. So, um...
469
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,874
I'm going home.
470
00:17:37,876 --> 00:17:39,654
Okay, fine. Go home.
471
00:17:39,678 --> 00:17:41,389
I'll go home. We'll both go home.
472
00:17:41,413 --> 00:17:43,125
[SIGHS]
473
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,526
Okay.
474
00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:46,261
Good night.
475
00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:48,130
Okay.
476
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,664
Bye.
477
00:17:49,688 --> 00:17:54,891
478
00:17:54,893 --> 00:17:58,340
[TICKING]
479
00:17:58,364 --> 00:18:00,408
Goodbye.
480
00:18:00,432 --> 00:18:05,414
481
00:18:05,438 --> 00:18:10,885
482
00:18:10,909 --> 00:18:12,821
You know what?
483
00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:14,823
No. I'm not giving up.
484
00:18:14,847 --> 00:18:16,491
Son, it's a bad restaurant.
485
00:18:16,515 --> 00:18:18,693
I'm not talking about Lazy Susan's.
486
00:18:18,717 --> 00:18:20,895
I know my planet is weird.
487
00:18:21,626 --> 00:18:23,498
I mean, it's frozen
on the top and bottom,
488
00:18:23,522 --> 00:18:26,034
and the sky changes colors,
489
00:18:26,058 --> 00:18:28,303
and people, they don't know
what they're doing,
490
00:18:28,327 --> 00:18:29,526
and they mess up a lot.
491
00:18:29,528 --> 00:18:31,573
But I love it.
492
00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:34,443
And I'm proud of it.
493
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,511
And, come on. Giraffes are cool.
494
00:18:36,535 --> 00:18:38,447
I mean, if you don't get giraffes,
495
00:18:38,471 --> 00:18:40,649
if you can't find the joy
496
00:18:40,673 --> 00:18:42,917
in a tall dog with a leg for a neck,
497
00:18:42,941 --> 00:18:44,919
then I feel sorry for you.
498
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,544
I mean, you guys
can pick on me all you want.
499
00:18:47,546 --> 00:18:49,191
But don't pick on Earth.
500
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,460
'Cause it's here to stay.
501
00:18:51,484 --> 00:18:52,949
I'm not gonna blow it up.
502
00:18:52,951 --> 00:18:54,578
You were gonna blow it up?
503
00:18:54,602 --> 00:18:57,065
Well, yeah. I got
this whole gold-ball thing
504
00:18:57,089 --> 00:19:00,735
that is setting off this
asteroid that's coming to...
505
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,605
You know what? It's over your head.
506
00:19:03,629 --> 00:19:07,142
[DOOR OPENS]
507
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:09,944
[SIGHS]
508
00:19:10,508 --> 00:19:12,481
How are we gonna fix this?
509
00:19:12,505 --> 00:19:16,418
510
00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:17,820
[DOOR CLOSES]
511
00:19:17,844 --> 00:19:21,690
512
00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:24,359
Did someone order a miracle?
513
00:19:24,383 --> 00:19:25,760
The bet's off.
514
00:19:25,784 --> 00:19:28,052
I'm here to save the world.
515
00:19:30,456 --> 00:19:33,824
[GRUNTS]
- O-Okay. Okay.
516
00:19:35,528 --> 00:19:37,706
- Oh, um, it's not gonna...
- Ah.
517
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,596
- CRAIG: Okay.
- [CLANK]
518
00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:42,199
- Ah.
- Ah! Aah.
519
00:19:42,201 --> 00:19:43,400
- Oh, no!
- Aah!
520
00:19:43,402 --> 00:19:44,379
- Don't hurt yourself.
- Stop it.
521
00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:46,715
That's just... Okay.
522
00:19:46,739 --> 00:19:47,982
Whew! Damn it. Rosie!
523
00:19:48,006 --> 00:19:49,984
It's sealed... permanently.
524
00:19:50,008 --> 00:19:51,109
Remember?
525
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,609
[SIGHS] Shit.
526
00:19:52,611 --> 00:19:54,051
[CLANG]
527
00:19:55,013 --> 00:19:56,113
Okay.
528
00:19:57,616 --> 00:19:59,450
Oh, how's this thing going?
529
00:20:01,487 --> 00:20:03,921
[TICKING]
530
00:20:07,971 --> 00:20:10,418
A basketball game
became a horror show tonight
531
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:13,287
when a beloved mascot
died in screaming agony
532
00:20:13,311 --> 00:20:14,889
in front of hundreds of fans.
533
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:18,492
James "M.C. Dunks" Morowitz
collapsed suddenly
534
00:20:18,516 --> 00:20:21,095
during tonight's game
due to what doctors diagnosed
535
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,831
as an "explosive rupture
of the appendix."
536
00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:26,500
The mascot has already been
permanently retired,
537
00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:29,437
as psychologists believe
even seeing his image
538
00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:32,706
may trigger scarring flashbacks
for those unlucky enough
539
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,976
to have witnessed his nightmarish demise.
540
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,135
Sports, ironically, is next.
541
00:20:38,185 --> 00:20:42,735
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