All language subtitles for Greys Anatomy s15e19 Silent All These Years.ryr

Meredith:
When there's a poisonous snake in our path, we freeze.

[ Breathing deeply ]
When we smell smoke, we run.

When faced with danger,
fear takes over, and we react,

desperate to feel safe.
Jo!

You left while I was
in the shower.

What, are you avoiding me?

Yes.

Wait, not on purpose, no.

Sorry. Hi. I just --

[ Inhales deeply ] Bailey's back
to being chief tomorrow,

so I have one last shot
at her full attention

about a new grant
for my fellowship,

and I just -- I figured that
you would want to sleep in.

Yeah, but I was
in the shower. Right.

Jo, it's me.

How long are we gonna
do this?

Whatever happened with your
birth mom, you can tell me.

Do you know what
the funding limits are

on an R90 or R15 grant?

No. Jo --

Okay, I got to figure that out
before Bailey gets here.

I'm...sorry.

It's biological...primal.
[ Sighs ]

But for someone
who suffers from trauma,

it's the everyday things --

a song in a coffee shop,
the smell of rubbing alcohol...

[ Bicycle bell dings ]

...seemingly random,
common things

convincing your brain and body
you're in danger...

[ Dog barks ]

...and there is no way out.

[ Doorbell rings ]
[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Door creaks lightly ]

Hi. What can I do
for you?

I'm Dr. Karev.

Josephine. Jo.

Um...
Josh: Mom, I can't find my shoes!

Alexandra: They're
in the kitchen, and they smell!

Who ate all the cereal?

Honey, there's more
in the pantry. Y--

[ Dog barking ]

Well, apparently, my kids forgot
that they were old enough

to feed and clothe
themselves today.

You have kids.

Um, listen, if you're -- if
you're selling magazines or --

or religion,
we're good on both, so...

But thank you so much.

No, no.
E-Emerson Hospital.

Oh, right, okay.

Well, if you just go here,
and you take Willowbrook...

No, no, I-I was --
...and then you're gonna --

I was born
at Emerson Hospital,

and soon after, I was left at
the fire station on 47th Street.

I think that you're the person
who left me.

I think you're my mother.

[ Engines rumbling ]

[ Horn honks ]

You have
your chemistry report?

[ Cellphone clicking ]
It's a paper, Mom.

Yeah, as long
as it's done,

you can call it
whatever you like.

Hey, um, I'm thinking about
Cal's Burgers tonight.

Celebrate your last day
of sabbatical.

[ Cellphone buttons clicking ]
Can't.

I have a thing tonight.
[ Cellphone chimes ]

With who?

[ Sighs ] With Kelly.

There's a Kelly?
Define "thing."

We're just talking, is all.

So, you can't come
have burgers with us,

because you're
talking to Kelly.

At a thing.
Here's fine.

[ Horn honks ]

We're nowhere
near the school. What?

It's fine.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Bye, love you!
Good luck with your re--

report!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

It's a paper.

I know.

Did he just put
his arm around -- He put his hand...

Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Pannell to Plastics.

Dr. Pannell to Plastics.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Telephone ringing
in distance ]

[ Indistinct conversations
echoing ]

[ Echoing ] Oh, my God!
Sorry. Sorry.

[ Gasps ]

Hey, you -- you have a --
you have, um, a --

[ Normal voice ]
A-A crap sense of direction

and can't find my way
to the ER.

It's one floor down,
and then, if...

[ Telephone rings in distance ]

You know,
why don't I take you?

You ever have just
a garbage sort of day?

[ Scoffs ]

More times
than I can count.

This way.

[ Telephone rings in distance ]

[ Echoing ]
You'll need stitches.

I'll have a nurse
bring you a blanket.

[ Normal voice ]
I feel so stupid.

I was putting away dishes
and just...

smacked myself in the face
with the cabinet.

Such an idiot.

[ Echoing ]
That cut looks pretty deep,

so Dr. Qadri will have to numb
it before we can clean it.

When did this happen?

[ Normal voice ]
Last night.

I thought it would be fine,
but it just keeps bleeding.

[ Echoing ] Dr. Qadri
and I can help with that.

I'm just gonna put a little
Betadine around the area,

and you're just gonna feel
a little stick and a burn.

Are you hurting
anywhere else?

DeLuca: Hey. Dr. Bailey's
been looking for you --

something about
a grant deadline? Oh, okay.

Um, I'm gonna be right --

[ Breathing quickly ]

[ Heartbeat pulsing ]

[ Normal voice ]
My patient here, Abby, she...

hit her face
on a cabinet.

So if you could give us
some room, please,

so I can suture
her facial lac?

And tell Dr. Bailey
that I will be a while.

Thank you.

Hey, why don't you
sit up, okay?

We'll sit you up.
Okay.

[ Whimpers ]

Is your belly hurting?

No, it's just the cheek.

You can fix it now, right?
So I can go.

Dr. Qadri, um, can you go
get me some 4-0 MONOCRYL,

and can we please
close those?

Thank you.

[ Breathing deeply ]

[ Quietly ]
Abby, it's just you and me.

You're hurt.

I am here to help.

[ Shuddering breathing ]

Okay.
[ Whispering ] Okay.

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Sniffles ]

Okay.

[ Inhales sharply,
whimpers ]

[ Breathing shakily ]

I got you, Abby.

I'm not going anywhere.

[ Breathing shakily ]

[ Door creaking ]

[ Breathing deeply ]

[ Quietly ] Look, I don't know
what you're after,

but you can't be here.

I'm not after anything.

I just want to talk.

You cannot be here.

[ Dog barks ]
Daniel: Chip! [ Claps hands ]

Hey, Chip. Come here.

Hey, buddy. [ Chuckles ]

I'll, uh, put him out back
and drop the kids at school.

[ Chip groans ]
Is everything okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was just saying

that we're already familiar
with the Book of Mormon, so...

Ah, saw the original cast.
Loved it.

Not a big fan of the book,
though, so...we're all set.

[ Chip barks ]

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Clears throat ]

[ Door closes ]

There's a diner...
a few miles up.

Weird green roof?

Ira's?

One conversation.

And you will never
hear from me again.

♪♪

[ Door creaking ]

[ Door slams shut ]

♪♪

[ Horn honking ]

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Liquid pouring ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Clock ticking ]

[ Bell jingles ]

[ Echoing ] Just one.

[ Echoing ]
Oh, right this way.

[ Ticking clock echoes ]

[ Bell jingles ]

[ Ticking quickens ]

[ Silverware clatters lightly ]

[ Ticking quickens ]

[ Bell jingles ]

[ Ticking stops ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Man:
Can I get you a warm-up?

[ Conversations continue ]

[ Sighs ]

The coffee here sucks.

I've noticed.

I'm late for work.
Um...

I work
in the mayor's office.

Try to create jobs
for under-served communities.

[ Dinnerware clattering
lightly ]

I'm sorry.
You knocked on my door.

I don't --
You have a house --

a really
beautiful house.

Thank you...?

And kids and a husband
and a dog

and crown frickin'
moldings.

Do you need money?
If this is about money --

I don't need
your damn money.

Thank you.

Look, I'm not quite sure
what you expected --

In my head, you worked at
a diner half as nice as this.

And you didn't graduate
high school,

or maybe you did
but a year or two late

'cause they don't let pregnant
girls finish high school.

And you scraped by
somehow on...

hard work and the kindness
of strangers,

but you had no one.

You had nothing.

That would make it okay
that I left you?

I wanted you to have a better
life than I could give you --

Now, that part
I heard in my head.

I think it came from
a made-for-TV movie.

No, I-I-I realized it

the minute it came out
of my mouth, yes, um...

But it's true.

I really thought that
you'd be better off --

What are their names?

I'm sorry?
Your kids.

My brother and sister eating
cereal in your perfect kitchen.

What are their names?

Alexandra is a senior
in high school,

and, uh, Josh is in 10th.

And your husband, the,
what, the...accountant?

Lawyer.

Is he my father?

No.

No, he is nothing
like -- no.

No, I met my husband
in grad school.

Um...

His name is Daniel.

Daniel.

That's nice.

That's really nice.

You know, I-I --
I appreciate a girl

with fire
in her belly, but --

I didn't have
a better life.

I wasn't better off.

No one found me
adoring parents

who were dying for a newborn
of their own to love.

I lived in foster homes
so bad,

it was better
to live in my car.

And when a man finally told me
that he loved me,

I believed him,

even when he beat the crap out
of me so bad I couldn't see.

So whatever life you had,

tell me it wasn't better
than mine.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I should go.

At least you're consistent.
[ Clears throat ]

[ Breathing deeply ]

Did you honestly come here
to punish me?

Consider it done.

I came because I don't know
anything about where I'm from,

and I want to know.

[ Dinnerware clinking ]

Um...

My, um...

father's side
is pure Irish.

My -- My -- My mother
is Russian Jew and Italian.

I got all that
from spitting in a tube.

My mother's parents...

died when she was young --

heart disease and cancer.

So I'm afraid
that's in the mix.

Uh, there's no history of
mental illness that I'm aware --

-That's not what I'm asking.
-Then what do you want to know?

Something I can't get
from spitting in a tube!

Ah.

I, um -- I grew up
on a farm in Kansas.

My childhood
is a blur of chickens

and singing songs
out in the field

when I should've been
helping my mother.

I was spelling bee champion
for four years in a row.

I love the smell of rosemary.
I'm terrible at math.

Does that help?
Does that help you at all?

Do you know who you are now?
Forget it.

Just tell me who my father is,
and I will try and find him.

You can't.

He's dead.

Geez, lady.

[ Exhales sharply ]

You don't want to, I don't know,
soften it a little?

Well, I'm sorry, but that
son of a bitch who hurt me

more than any other
human being ever has...

died in a motorcycle accident
10 years ago.

Not the way
that I would've hoped.

I would've preferred that
he had been eaten by fire ants

or pulled apart
limb from limb, but --

Wow.

You're just a monster, huh?

[ Clears throat ]

-Please sit down.
-Abandoning me wasn't enough,

you just have to spread the pain
around a little bit?

Sit down.
That's my father that you're talking about.

No, it's not.
He hurt me -- I'm so sorry

that your childhood sweetheart
didn't pan out.

-So sorry.
-He hurt me.

[ Quietly ]
Please sit down, okay?

Please sit down.

[ Conversations continue
in distance ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

He was a TA...

...when I was
a freshman in undergrad.

He chased after me
for weeks for a date.

He, um, sent me flowers
and proclamations

until, finally,
I said yes.

[ Exhales sharply ]

I said --
I said yes to that date.

I said...yes to going...

to Braden's Point
to watch the sunset.

And...

[ Inhales deeply ]

Then he started kissing me
and touching me.

And I said no.

And I continued to say no.

And I fought him.

I fought
as hard as I could,

but he would not
take no for an answer.

So...

nine months later,
I had a baby.

I had you, and then...

five days later,
I didn't.

[ Sniffles ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Rustling clothes echo ]

♪♪

[ Echoing ]
Jo: Qadri, let's get her

IM Toradol for the pain

and keep her NPO
for now.

Dahlia: Is there someone
that we can call?

Family member
or a friend?

[ Normal voice ]
My husband's in Portland

on a business trip.

I don't want to...
bother him.

[ Knock on door ]
[ Gasps ]

It's okay.
I called her here to help.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Why do I need
another doctor?

Can't I just keep you two?
[ Door closes ]

Teddy:
It's Abby, right? Hi.

Dr. Karev and Dr. Qadri
will still be your doctors,

but would it be okay
if I helped?

May I do an ultrasound just to
check for internal injuries?

-Okay. Great.
-All right, here we go.

Let's lie you back.

I got you.

[ Whimpers ]
That's it, I got you.

Okay, you're almost there.
[ Inhales sharply ]

-Okay.
-All right.

Okay.

Just gonna
open your robe.

Abby:
[ Breathing shakily ]

Now a little gel.

[ Gel squelching ]

All right, you'll feel
just a little pressure.

There we go. Good job.
[ Heartbeat pulses ]

All right, Abby, you do have
a tear in your diaphragm,

and it's caused
your abdominal organs

to move up into your chest.

[ Keyboard clicks ]
You're gonna need a surgery.

Fine.

Whatever you need to do
so I can go home.

All right, Dr. Karev, can I talk
to you outside for a minute?

-No, no, can you stay?
-I'll just be right outside.

I won't be more
than a couple minutes -- Y-You can't --

Just do the surgery,
and then I can go home,

and then it'll be over.
All right.

We'll let them know
to prep the OR.

[ Clears throat softly ]

Qadri, come with me.
Thanks.

Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Yates to Pediatrics.

Dr. Yates to Pediatrics.

Book an OR, but do not let
the nurses or anyone else

do an antibiotic prep.

So we're not operating
on her?

Abby's wounds
are consistent

with someone who's been
sexually assaulted,

and if that's true,

when the nurses prep her
with an antibiotic solution,

evidence will be erased.

So we wait.

We wait and give Abby
the chance to talk

without taking more of the
agency than she's already lost.

Go book the OR
and come straight back.

[ Sighs shakily,
inhales deeply ]

Okay.

[ Door closes ]

Hey. Are you sure there isn't
someone we can call?

Can we ask you
how you got hurt?

Does it matter?

You said
you can fix it, right?

Abby, I want you to know

that you don't have to
tell us anything.

We can bring a counselor down
for you to talk to.

No. No more doctors.

I have enough doctors,
and I don't need a shrink.

I just...need my stomach
to stop hurting is all.

Okay.

How did you get that?

My neighbor's kids like to play
street hockey,

and I'm crap at it.

-I don't think that's true.
-Dr. Karev.

[ Sighs ]

You keep looking at each other,
but I'm right here,

so one of you say
whatever the hell it is

you're trying so hard
not to say.

Abby --
I'm worried your husband hurt you,

and from the marks
on your legs,

possibly
sexually assaulted you.

Dr. Karev, hallway. Now.

Jack would never.
He's never raised his voice.

-He's calm.
-Then someone else did --

[ Straining ]
Isn't the OR ready by now?

'Cause this hurts like a --

Abby, if we take you
to the OR,

we have to make you
sterile,

so everything that happened
to you, all the evidence,

it all goes away.

You can still report it.

I'm not reporting anything.
There's nothing to report.

That is your choice.
It is all your choice.

But if something happened --
if it did --

we could gather the evidence
and seal it away

until you are ready
to do something about it.

[ Voice breaking ]
We all know if I do that kit...

it ends up in the back
of some police station,

ignored for years,

while I sit there wondering
when the bomb will go off,

waiting to see if a jury
of my peers will believe...

[ Breathing quickly ]

...believe a woman

who wore a skirt
a few inches too short,

who had a few cocktails too many
at a bar last night

after having a fight

about laundry
with her husband.

[ Crying ]

And you know the tequila I drank
will make it my fault,

and whoever did this to me,
whatever he drank --

that'll be his excuse!

[ Crying, wheezing ]

Is your kit gonna convince them
I wasn't flirting at the bar?

If I give them my story
and my underwear,

will it prove to them --
or to my husband --

that I didn't cheat on him
and make up some story

just to save my own ass?

[ Quietly ] Okay...
[ Respirator hissing ]

Will your kit do that?!

[ Hyperventilating ]

O-- All -- All right,
deep breath.

That's it.

Slow deep breath.

[ Breathing deeply ]

My ex-husband, he hurt me.

Not in the way that you
were hurt, but he hit me --

he hurt me, for years.

And I was so, so terrified.

And so convinced that
no one would believe me,

and I was so, so alone --

I never had the chance
or the choice

to hold him responsible.

[ Whispering ]
I can't imagine

how you are feeling
right now.

I can't.

But, one day,
you might feel differently.

You might want justice,

and I want you to have
everything you need to do that.

[ Respirator hissing ]

[ Sniffles, crying ]

My husband --
he can never know.

He won't have to.

[ Crying ]

Do it.

Just do the damn kit.

Okay. Okay.

[ Sniffles, sighs ]

That's it.
There you go.

There you go.

♪ Pull me ♪

[ Crying ]

♪ Under ♪

Are you ready?

♪♪

You have to say it.

It's the law.
♪ Feels like ♪

You say yes,
we go to the next step.

You say no at any time,
we stop.

♪ Thunder ♪

Okay.
Okay.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Yes.

♪ Here, there ♪

♪♪

♪ Everywhere ♪

♪ Ghosts hide ♪
Are you ready?

Yes.

♪ In my head ♪

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

♪ We fall ♪

♪ Up above ♪

♪ So long ♪

♪ As I ♪

♪ Don't sleep ♪

♪♪

♪ Somebody ♪

Are you ready?

Yes.

♪♪

♪ Save me ♪

♪♪

♪ It doesn't matter ♪
[ Clippers snip ]

Are you ready?

♪ What the craving is ♪
Yes.

[ Whimpers ]

♪ Here, there ♪

♪ Everywhere ♪

♪ Ghosts hide ♪

Are you ready?

Yes.
♪ In my head ♪

Yes.
♪ We fall ♪

Yes.

♪ Up above ♪

♪ Don't leave me ♪

♪ Alone ♪
Abby, we're done.

♪ Somebody ♪

I'm here, okay.

-[ Crying ]
-I'm right here.

You're okay.

Abby, you're okay.

♪ Save me ♪
[ Crying ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

You never told anyone.

The police,
your parents...

I convinced the few people
who noticed

that it was just
the freshman 15,

and I was able to
dodge Christmas break

by lying about...
finals and work studies.

You didn't tell anyone
you were pregnant?

No, no.

I mean, it --

it wasn't until years
after it happened that --

After I happened.

After the rape happened.

After I was raped.

I eventually found my way
to therapy,

and I did all the work,

and I wrote in journals,

and I learned
all the PTSD triggers.

I-I actually
had to work through

calling it "rape"
to begin with.

Because I did say yes
to that date,

and I did say yes to getting
in that car, and...

Someone somewhere
along the way --

a man, most likely --

decided they wanted to qualify
this word, "rape."

You know, date rape,
[sniffles] a-acquaintance rape.

Somehow, it -- it -- it --
it's -- it's not as real

unless it happens to a woman

who's running through the park
at night or --

or walking
down a dark alley.

As somehow,
because I knew him,

what he took from me
didn't matter.

But it did matter.

I found a way to hear that.

I found a way
to believe that.

And I --

I found a way
to move forward.

You got therapy.

Yeah.

You moved forward.

Mm-hmm.

And you didn't once try
and find me?

I was petrified.

I was petrified every single
moment of my pregnancy.

I mean, it was bad enough that
I had to see his face

every day in class.

I was so terrified...

imagining that
you'd be a boy

and that you'd have his face
and his voice.

And every day,
every kick, every movement,

it just reminded me
where you came from.

But, you know, movies and books
and -- and magazines,

they just kept talking
about this...

love that you feel
the minute your baby is born.

How instantaneous it is

and how, um, your heart
just cracks wide open, and...

[ Sniffles ]

And I remember,
I kept telling myself

that as soon as I had you
in my arms

that I could do that

and that I would do that.

Other women did it,
so why couldn't I?

So I gave the hospital
a fake name.

I left with you...
the day you were born.

I remember they wanted me
to stay,

and they wanted me to rest,
but I just wanted to get out.

I just wanted to get out of
there, and I just wanted --

[ Voice breaking ] I just
wanted to be alone with you,

and I just wanted it to be
the two of us, and...

[ Breathes deeply ]

...and I wanted to stare
at you and hold you...

...'til that love came.

But it never did.

No, it did.

It did.

Everything they said
was absolutely right.

My heart cracked
wide open.

[ Crying ]

It was never just us,

no matter how hard I tried,
no matter what I did.

I was just a reminder
of him.

I resented you so much
for it.

I spent most of my life...

doubting everyone
I ever met,

leaving them
before they could leave me.

I am a grown woman
[sighs]

with a job that I love
and friends I love

and a husband
who loves me,

and still --

still...

I was walking around,
uh, waiting,

wondering if you
would ever find me.

[ Sniffles ]

If you would ever say
that you're sorry.

I did the best I could.

The best you could would've been
to find an adoption agency

and make sure I had a home
and someone to love me,

not toss me away
like garbage.

It is so easy
to look at me now

and think of all the ways

that I could've been
kinder, better, or smarter,

but...

...I was not the person
I am today.

I was not
in my right mind.

I wasn't in my mind
at all.

That night that --
that he held me down, screaming.

That night that he had
his hands around my throat

until I stopped screaming,

when I was hovering
over my own body

while he was
tearing away at me,

that night that he smiled

and he forced me to say
that I liked it,

when he laughed and...

...promised that we could do it
any time that I wanted to...

...that was the night
that I lost my right mind.

He stole it from me,
and for nine months --

for nine months,
I pretended I was fine.

I pretended that
I wasn't a zombie,

that I wasn't numb
or dead inside.

And then,
the day that you were born,

I held you,
and I looked at your face,

and I...

[ Breathes deeply ]

...I could feel again
for the first time,

but...

[ Breathes sharply ]

...my mind...

...that took years
to come back.

In fact, I'm --
Part of it never did.

Of course
you deserved better.

[ Breathes sharply ]

I didn't have better
to give you.

I was seven weeks pregnant

when my ex-husband
cracked my ribs

and threw me across
the living room floor.

He didn't know
that I was pregnant,

and I decided in that moment
that he could never know.

I couldn't --
I couldn't see a way out.

Not then, at least.

[ Breathing shakily ]

I knew that,
if I tried to leave,

he would kill me.

But I also knew that
I couldn't raise a kid

in that...fear,
and in that danger.

You had an abortion.

I've never told anyone that.

I don't know why.
I'm not ashamed of it.

I...
[ Sighs ]

I did what I had to do.

[ Crying ]

[ Vehicles passing in distance ]

[ Dinnerware clattering lightly
in distance ]

[ Sniffles ]

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

[ Sniffles ]

Do I look like him?

You have
my father's eyes...

but the hair is all mine.

And maybe the fire
in the belly.

[ Voice breaking ]
I did the best I could,

and I'm still...

I'm sorry. I'm still
just doing the best I can.

[ Chair scrapes lightly ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

♪♪

[ Footsteps depart ]

♪♪

[ Door closes ]

She's becoming
increasingly tachypneic.

Let OR 1 know
that we're on our way.

Abby, it's time.

We have to go up now.

No. I'm not --
I'm not ready. I'm --

[ Echoing ] Abby,
I know you're scared.

No, you're gonna --
you're gonna --

you're gonna take me out
and knock me out where I --

the last time I was out,
h-he knocked me out.

[ Echoing ] Abby.
Abby, listen to me.

If we don't do this surgery now,
it could kill you.

[ Crying ] I can't.

I can't leave here,
this room.

Everyone has his face,
every man.

It's all I see.

Even when I close my eyes...

[ Echoing ] Please.
I can't see his face.

Please don't l--
make me see his face, please.

[ Normal voice ]
You don't have to, Abby.

[ Heartbeat pulsing ]
You don't have to.

[ Whimpering ]

Okay.

Tuck says they're talking.
What is that? Talking?

I think
they're dating.

Mnh.
Why do they do that?

Why do they insist
on coming up with new words

when the old words
were just fine?

[ Chuckles ]

It's not funny.

Well, you -- you do sound
a little, you know,

"Get off my lawn!"

No.

I want him to be happy.

I want him to, you know,

have the butterflies
and first love and all that.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah, just not so soon.

[ Sighs ]

We're gonna have to
sit his butt down

and teach him
about respect...

...empathy, consent.

Condoms --
Oh, dear Lord.

I have to talk to my son
about condoms.

100%.
[ Sighs ]

Or...

I could sit down
with him.

It can be on you.

But my dad gave me this talk,
and it worked.

[ Cellphone vibrates, chimes ]
Woman on P.A.: Dr. Birsh to Pediatrics.

Mm, I gotta go.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

You, uh -- You can't
go through there.

Well, why not?

Because I've been asked
to see that you don't.

Wha--

[ Door opens, closes ]

Well, but she can go?

Yes, sir.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Dr. Karev asked us
to all stand here?

Do we know why?

Just...
that a patient needs us.

She needs all of us.

Okay.

[ Conversations continue ]

Female nurse: Okay, ladies,
we need you all to line up

either on the right side
or left.

Please keep
this middle aisle clear.

Are you ready?

[ Breathes deeply ]

♪ Standin' on the platform ♪

♪ Watching you go ♪

♪♪

Yes.

♪ It's like no other pain ♪

♪ I've ever known ♪

♪♪

♪ To love someone so much ♪

♪ To have no control ♪

♪♪

♪ You said,
"I wanna see the world" ♪

♪ And I said, "Go" ♪

♪♪

♪ But I think
I'm lost without you ♪

♪♪

♪ Strangers rushin' past,
just tryna get home ♪

♪♪

♪ You were the only
safehaven that I've known ♪

♪♪

♪ Hits me at full speed ♪

♪ Feel like I can't breathe ♪

♪ And nobody knows ♪

♪ I think I'm lost without you ♪

Ready?

♪ You ♪

♪ I just feel crushed... ♪

I'm staying right here.

♪ ...without you ♪

♪ 'Cause I've been strong
for so long ♪

[ Respirator hissing ]
♪ That I never thought ♪

♪ How much I love you ♪

Teddy: I've seen
soldiers like this.

♪ Standin' on the platform,
watching you go ♪

Young women and young men,
brutalized,

with no idea
how to talk about it.

[ Monitor beeping ]

What you did today with Abby,
that was not protocol --

♪ You said,
"I wanna see the world" ♪ I know, I know,

I'm saying it should be.

♪ And I said, "Go" ♪

[ Monitor beeping ]

Teddy: Abby, hi.

We were able to repair
your diaphragm.

We had to place in a chest tube
for drainage,

but that'll probably come out
in a few days.

And your kit will stay here,
if you decide to report it.

[ Beeping continues ]

You think I should do it,
don't you?

That is not our call
to make.

But we do think that
you should talk to someone.

Doesn't have to be
your husband.

But someone.

I keep going over it
in my head.

If I hadn't been
so distracted by my phone.

If I had just trusted my gut

and not gone down that street
with the broken lamplights.

Abby.

This was not your fault.

You didn't ask for this.

There is nothing you did
to deserve this.

[ Beeping continues ]

I can't.

I just can't...

Okay, that's okay.

I'll check in on you
in a little bit, all right?

Try to get some rest.

[ Beeping continues ]

Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Felix to the ER.

Dr. Felix to the ER.

[ Beeping continues ]

Jack...

He's gonna look at me
and see this broken person.

[ Beeping continues ]

If I tell him this,
it's all he'll ever see.

Abby, look at me.

This doesn't define you.

And whether you tell
your husband or you report it

or you don't tell another soul,
you're a survivor.

You survived.

I still feel nauseous
when I see

men in expensive shoes
with the points of the toes,

because that's how my ex-husband
made my kidney bleed.

For years, I thought
I got what I deserved,

that I was responsible,
that maybe,

just maybe if I had said or done
one thing differently...

But none of that
was your fault.

No.

[ Beeping continues ]

It's not your fault.

[ Beeping continues ]

[ Breathes sharply ]

[ Beeping continues ]

[ Sniffles ]

Do you have a phone
I can use?

Yes.

[ Beeping continues ]

[ Breathes sharply ]
Will you stay?

As long as you need.

♪♪

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Cellphone buttons clicking ]

♪ Slow down ♪

♪♪

[ Line ringing ]

♪ Try to breathe in deep ♪

[ Siren wailing in distance ]
♪ Listen ♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪ To the words I speak ♪

Any game we watch on TV --
right? -- they --

they run, toss, wrestle, chase,
until someone gets hurt.

Or until someone calls
"time out."

Then the game stops.

And no matter how much fun
they're having,

everything stops.

♪ Calling out for help,
out for help ♪

That's consent.

I thought we were
just having burgers.

Yeah, well, I thought talking
was just talking,

but you and I both know that's
not the same thing anymore,

so...

♪ Waiting to save yourself
from falling into deep ♪

You pay attention to the girl
you're with, all right?

You -- You -- You need to care
about her feelings,

her -- her joy,

at -- at least as much
as you care about your own.

Okay, okay.
♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪

And she gets to change her mind.
At any time.

I mean, if she says "stop," or
if she stops having fun, you --

you just plain stop.
♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪

Time out.

Game over.

I know.

♪ I won't leave you in the cold
on your own ♪

Being with someone
you like is...

♪ I won't let you down,
my friend ♪

There's nothing like it, and I
want you to be safe and happy,

but that only happens
if she is, too.

Okay.

Say it.

♪ Come and sit with me down ♪

Say it. [ Slurps ]

♪ Pour out
whatever's weighing you down ♪

If she stops having fun,
just plain stop.

Time out.
Game over.

Always.

Now, pass those fries and tell
me what this Kelly is like.

♪ Calm down, calm down ♪

Yeah.

Too often,
trauma gets dismissed

as "just in our head."

But the pain is real.

♪ Waiting to save yourself ♪

We feel it...

in our muscles, our cells,

our hearts, our heads.

♪ Stop running, stop hiding ♪

And while
there's no magic fix...

♪ I won't let you down,
my friend ♪

...no pill
to make it disappear,

we can ask for help.

♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪

Hey, I'm officially
no longer the interim chief,

and officially starving.

Can I take you out
to celebrate?

I've had a rough day.

I don't really
feel like celebrating.

Yeah, well,
we can just talk.

I just want to go home
and crawl into bed.

All right, well,
we can do that.

Alex, I'm tired.

Can you just go celebrate
with Meredith?

Jo, it's me.
You can talk to me.

What -- you think
with all my family crap

that I'm gonna judge you?

I'm not gonna judge.

Just -- I just want you
to talk to me.

I don't want to talk
about it.

Alex, I --

I can't talk about it.

I just want to go home.

I want to go home alone.

I want to go home
and sleep. Please.

♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪

♪♪

And we can tell our truth...

♪ I won't leave you in the cold
on your own ♪

...whenever we're ready.

♪ I won't let you down,
my friend ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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