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1
00:00:24,982 --> 00:00:27,308
(DAY IN THE SUN PLAYING)
2
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,527
Want to grab that?
3
00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:43,159
I can't believe it's so crowded.
4
00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:45,201
School isn't even out yet.
5
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,616
Maybe we should come back.
6
00:00:46,754 --> 00:00:48,711
How about never? That sound good?
7
00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:52,541
A family swim
is a great way to kick off the summer.
8
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:55,714
Let's not forget, opening day is free!
9
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,428
(DAY IN THE SUN CONTINUES PLAYING)
10
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:03,967
I hate going in there.
11
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,809
Remember, move fast
and keep your eyes down.
12
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,140
(SIGHS)
13
00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:13,067
Sorry. Excuse me.
14
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,329
(CRACKING)
15
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:32,747
Greg!
16
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:37,668
I'm going to see if I can get a good spot.
Watch Manny.
17
00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:39,253
GREG: What? But... (SIGHS)
18
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:42,256
Manny?
19
00:01:43,477 --> 00:01:44,592
Manny?
20
00:01:49,483 --> 00:01:50,598
Manny!
21
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,771
(WATER RUNNING)
22
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:03,740
(CALLING OUT FOR MANNY)
23
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,283
Manny, no!
24
00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,794
Washing my hands.
25
00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:18,836
(ANOTHER SUNNY DAY PLAYING)
26
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,484
FRANK: No, no, no.
27
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,493
But I'm so close to getting...
28
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:50,919
Summertime is for
real games, not video games. Healthy stuff.
29
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,999
Like, let's see...
30
00:02:54,131 --> 00:02:55,163
(WHISTLES)
31
00:02:55,299 --> 00:02:56,580
Swimming?
32
00:02:59,011 --> 00:03:00,838
(ANOTHER SUNNY DAY
CONTINUES PLAYING)
33
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,034
Time to sell some C.D.'s.
34
00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:28,445
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY)
35
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,116
(SHOUTING) Are you kidding?
36
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,535
(TURNS MUSIC OFF)
37
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,293
Rodrick, you can't play
your music that loud.
38
00:03:37,591 --> 00:03:38,706
Lenwood?
39
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:40,374
Is that Lenwood Heath?
40
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,635
Mr. Heffley, it's good to see you.
41
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:45,713
Mrs. Heffley.
42
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,465
Hi.
43
00:03:48,018 --> 00:03:49,810
So... you've changed.
44
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,725
I've been going to Spag Union Prep School.
45
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,103
They really turned me around.
46
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,985
(LAUGHS) You may remember
I was a bit of a troublemaker.
47
00:03:57,611 --> 00:03:58,726
(CHUCKLES) Nah.
48
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,027
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY)
49
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,242
You're cleaning all this up! You hear me?
50
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:12,406
(WHOOPING)
51
00:04:15,629 --> 00:04:18,417
So, Spag Union, what grade does that start?
52
00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:19,830
Eighth grade, sir.
53
00:04:20,968 --> 00:04:21,964
Hey.
54
00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,511
You're going into the eighth grade.
55
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:27,932
BOY: Cannonball!
56
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,764
It's good to see you, sir. Ma'am.
57
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,009
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
58
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,605
He called me "sir".
59
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,767
He used to be so cool. Like me.
60
00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:39,064
(SQUEAKS)
61
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,770
Löded Diper.
62
00:04:44,074 --> 00:04:45,533
MANNY: Bubby, over here!
63
00:04:45,826 --> 00:04:47,783
Greg, honey, go help your brother.
64
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,288
(LAUGHING)
65
00:04:58,172 --> 00:04:59,203
What's so funny?
66
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,049
I'm peeing!
67
00:05:08,682 --> 00:05:09,762
(GASPS)
68
00:05:21,278 --> 00:05:22,654
Ugh, ugh!
69
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,523
(DIARY OF A WIMPY KID THEME PLAYING)
70
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,902
(GRUNTING)
71
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:30,026
(YELPS)
72
00:05:36,752 --> 00:05:37,783
(SCREAMS)
(LAUGHING)
73
00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:41,707
(COINS CLINKING)
(EXCLAIMS)
74
00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:50,177
(DOG BARKING)
75
00:05:50,307 --> 00:05:52,929
I have one more week
of school, then it's summer vacation.
76
00:05:53,185 --> 00:05:55,392
Which sounds great, but for me,
77
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,094
summer vacation is basically
a three-month guilt trip.
78
00:05:58,357 --> 00:05:59,555
Just because the weather's nice,
79
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,646
everyone expects you
to be out all day frolicking.
80
00:06:02,778 --> 00:06:04,237
(SINGING) La, la, la, la, la
81
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:08,107
But the truth is,
I've always been more of an indoor person.
82
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:11,238
To me,
the perfect way to spend summer vacation
83
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,327
is in front of the TV playing video games.
84
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,121
Unfortunately, my dad's idea of a perfect
85
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,450
summer is the opposite of mine.
86
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:22,495
The real problem is,
me and my dad have nothing in common.
87
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,675
But as long as I stay one
step ahead of him...
88
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,801
...I think I have a shot at a fun summer.
89
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,175
(ROCK 'N'ROLL HIGH SCHOOL PLAYING)
90
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,139
Last day of school!
91
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:40,520
I know. It's kind of sad.
92
00:06:40,899 --> 00:06:43,022
Sad? Are you crazy?
93
00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:45,863
I'm going to play video games all summer.
It's going to be awesome.
94
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,197
There's one person I will miss.
95
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,028
Hey, guys!
96
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,487
BOTH: Hi, Holly!
97
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:54,202
You'll see her when school starts again.
98
00:06:54,538 --> 00:06:57,872
In three months?
A lot can happen in three months.
99
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,327
Hey, Holly. How was your summer?
100
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,163
Great! I got married.
101
00:07:03,547 --> 00:07:05,836
You know my husband... Chirag.
102
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,171
Hello, Gregory.
103
00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:10,714
Last period of the school year!
104
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:12,638
(STUDENTS WHOOPING)
105
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,516
But it is still a school day, so...
106
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,093
...open Discovering History to chapter 7.
107
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:21,888
It's the last day of school.
Like anyone brought their books.
108
00:07:24,568 --> 00:07:26,062
Classic Greg Heffley.
109
00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:27,274
I pity him.
110
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,522
Of course you're not prepared.
111
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:34,574
Mr. Draybick, I'd be honored to share my
book with Greg Heffley.
112
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,748
GREG: Fregley claims to
wear a special cologne,
113
00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,334
but everyone knows he just never washes.
114
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:50,510
That's great!
115
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,099
(GIGGLING)
116
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:10,936
Rowley.
117
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:14,612
I need to make a connection
with Holly this summer.
118
00:08:14,993 --> 00:08:16,618
I'm tired of being...
119
00:08:17,454 --> 00:08:18,486
..."friends".
120
00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:22,450
What's wrong with being "friends"?
We're friends.
121
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,585
I'll get her to sign my yearbook.
122
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,754
She signs lots of yearbooks.
123
00:08:28,006 --> 00:08:29,631
But when she signs mine, I'll ask her
124
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,466
to write her phone number, too.
125
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:32,798
MR. DRAYBICK: Okay!
126
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:35,095
The rest of the class is free time.
127
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:36,628
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
- MR. DRAYBICK: Enjoy.
128
00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:47,809
Hey, Holly.
What are you doing this summer?
129
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:49,776
Just regular summer stuff.
130
00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:53,611
Volunteering at the shelter, building
with Habitat for Humanity...
131
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,321
...and giving tennis
lessons to little kids.
132
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:57,900
What about you?
133
00:08:58,328 --> 00:09:01,116
He's going to get to
the end of Twisted Wizard 2 this summer!
134
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:07,118
If I have time because
of all the other stuff I'm doing.
135
00:09:08,046 --> 00:09:10,502
Hey, can I sign your yearbook?
136
00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:14,510
Yeah, sure.
You're only in seventh grade once.
137
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:15,918
That's not always true, by the way.
138
00:09:16,054 --> 00:09:19,838
I think Andy Spitz
has been in seventh grade for four years.
139
00:09:19,975 --> 00:09:21,090
(GRUNTS)
140
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:26,188
And... why don't
you write down your phone number, too?
141
00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:27,519
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
- Okay.
142
00:09:27,649 --> 00:09:29,393
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
- Let's go!
143
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:31,683
Bye!
144
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:41,859
No!
145
00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:44,910
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
146
00:10:03,101 --> 00:10:04,181
CHIRAG: Gregory!
147
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,225
Help me! Help me!
148
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,149
(STUDENTS CONTINUE CHEERING)
149
00:10:23,747 --> 00:10:25,241
Would you sign my yearbook?
150
00:10:25,582 --> 00:10:26,697
Of course!
151
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,754
Holly, you didn't finish writing...
152
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,882
Isn't that your brother?
153
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:39,586
RODRICK: Löded Diper's
coming to rock a town near you!
154
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:44,756
Aw! You're getting your yearbooks signed?
That is so cute.
155
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:47,724
(CHUCKLES)
156
00:10:51,775 --> 00:10:52,806
What the heck?
157
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,694
SUSAN: Honey,
Greg was sick on picture day.
158
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,945
Did you send in
a photo of him for the yearbook?
159
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,406
Yeah! I remembered!
160
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,868
(HORN HONKING)
161
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,198
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
162
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:10,793
That's Heather Hills.
163
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:12,534
Get in.
164
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,296
But I need to finish
signing Greg's yearbook.
165
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,251
News flash. I don't care.
166
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:18,790
Sorry.
167
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,417
GREG: But you didn't...
168
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,470
So... Heather.
169
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,595
I'm going on a world tour with my band.
170
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,137
If you're around,
I could comp you chicks some tickets.
171
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,469
Let's go.
172
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,601
Wait! Holly!
173
00:11:31,773 --> 00:11:32,805
Ahh!
174
00:11:33,942 --> 00:11:35,484
Ow! Ow!
175
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,271
She was trying to act cool,
but I know she was into me.
176
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,775
"Rowley, you are so cute."
177
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,320
Cute's underlined three times!
178
00:11:44,661 --> 00:11:49,288
"Stay cool. XOXO, Holly."
What did she write in yours?
179
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:55,327
"Have a great summer.
You're such a good... friend."
180
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:56,704
(LAUGHING)
181
00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:58,462
"Friend"?
182
00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:01,176
Oh, man!
183
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,138
That's the kiss of death. "Friend".
That sucks!
184
00:12:05,849 --> 00:12:07,758
GREG: Despite Rodrick's negative attitude,
185
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,844
I have very clear goals for the summer.
186
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:13,348
One, play video games.
Two, get together with Holly.
187
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,689
Or three, both at the same time.
188
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,817
Greg, you're an amazing gamer.
189
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,480
I know.
190
00:12:19,863 --> 00:12:23,647
Our neighbors, the Warrens, have
kids that are the outdoorsy type.
191
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,189
That's okay, but...
192
00:12:25,535 --> 00:12:26,816
...my dad has this crazy idea
193
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,863
that physical exercise is normal.
194
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,697
Those guys are setting a bad example.
195
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,709
My dad has his eye on me,
so the key to a successful summer...
196
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,170
... will be to stay one move ahead.
197
00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:43,885
Those Warren boys
are already up, raring to go.
198
00:12:44,262 --> 00:12:47,216
Our boys probably
won't even get up till noon.
199
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:50,512
I'm sorry. Did you say something?
200
00:12:51,895 --> 00:12:53,010
What are you doing up?
201
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:55,514
It's the first day of vacation.
202
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,564
Did you think I'd just lie around all day?
203
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,228
Actually, that's exactly what I thought.
204
00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:02,852
I can't find Manny's Tingy.
205
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:06,905
You know, it's probably time...
206
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:10,529
...for him to move on
from that ratty old blanket anyway.
207
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,947
GREG: Manny was given Tingy
right after he was born.
208
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,413
Back then, Tingy was a fluffy blue blanket.
209
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,870
But now, it's a couple of pieces of yarn
210
00:13:18,046 --> 00:13:20,086
held together with raisins and boogers.
211
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,215
You don't think he cares anymore?
212
00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:23,505
(WHIMPERING)
213
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,924
I'm sure it'll turn up.
214
00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:28,962
What?
215
00:13:29,307 --> 00:13:30,932
Look at this garbage.
216
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:33,889
GREG: My dad and I
don't agree on anything, except for...
217
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,640
...the comic Li'l Cutie.
218
00:13:35,772 --> 00:13:38,098
We both hate it.
But we can't stop reading it!
219
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:42,433
You're my BFF... Best Father Forever!
220
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,446
- It's not even a joke!
- I know.
221
00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:48,316
Can we please focus?
We need to find Manny's Tingy.
222
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,531
(EXHALES) Ohh!
223
00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:51,453
I'm going to be late for work.
224
00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:53,778
See you!
225
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,469
Vacation is on!
226
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,674
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
227
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:32,657
Greg.
228
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:35,826
Greg.
229
00:14:38,376 --> 00:14:41,828
Are you really going
to sit inside all day and play video games?
230
00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,043
(HISSING)
231
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,362
(TICKING)
232
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:08,860
(RINGING)
233
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,083
(BOYS GRUNTING)
234
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,346
- Hey.
- Oh.
235
00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:37,507
Hey, Dad.
236
00:15:37,727 --> 00:15:39,352
Are you... sweating?
237
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:43,763
Yeah, I just finished up
some sports... playing.
238
00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,140
Uh-huh.
239
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,099
How was your day?
240
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:50,524
Horrible! Manny
still hasn't recovered from losing Tingy.
241
00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:55,368
Well, maybe it's for the best.
I think he should really move on.
242
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,276
Tingy!
243
00:15:58,331 --> 00:16:01,451
Tingy! Oh, my gosh, honey,
you found your blanket!
244
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,290
This is great, but how
did it end up in the...
245
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:05,625
Garbage?
246
00:16:05,755 --> 00:16:06,787
Frank?
247
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,330
Yeah?
248
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:09,629
You didn't.
249
00:16:09,926 --> 00:16:11,041
I didn't...
250
00:16:11,678 --> 00:16:12,793
...know...
251
00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:17,297
...that it meant that much to him anymore.
252
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:19,633
How could you?
253
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,305
(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)
254
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,066
- Good morning.
RODRICK: - Morning!
255
00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:34,025
Congratulations, player,
all your hard work has paid off.
256
00:16:34,409 --> 00:16:37,196
You're now a Level Nine Necromancer!
257
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,786
You played video games all day.
258
00:16:41,082 --> 00:16:42,197
Me? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
259
00:16:43,251 --> 00:16:46,205
No. I've been playing sports.
260
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:50,706
That's it! No more
video games for the rest of the summer!
261
00:16:51,259 --> 00:16:52,290
You can't do that!
262
00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:55,132
Oh, yeah, I can! I will! I am!
263
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,553
I'm unplugging it!
264
00:16:57,849 --> 00:17:00,387
Does the DVD or the cable box go into...
265
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:03,057
(CHUCKLES)
- Does the DVD player go into the cable...
266
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,063
You think this is funny?
267
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,815
It's amusing.
268
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,897
Well, then how about no video games and...
269
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,980
...no television for the rest of the summer?
Does that make you laugh?
270
00:17:15,116 --> 00:17:16,148
Dad, no!
271
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,992
I stopped laughing!
272
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:22,660
Ha!
273
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:26,409
Guess who's the laugher now? Me!
I'm the laugher!
274
00:17:26,711 --> 00:17:29,381
I'm the laugh ingest laugher
that ever laughed!
275
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:32,590
(LAUGHING)
276
00:17:34,135 --> 00:17:35,416
Funny stuff!
277
00:17:37,472 --> 00:17:39,761
I'm going to work on my battle diorama.
278
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:41,089
Frank!
279
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:45,346
What are you doing?
First Tingy, and now Greg's video games?
280
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,521
General Lee isn't going to paint himself.
281
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,182
This is important.
282
00:17:50,318 --> 00:17:53,936
You can't take away everything they love
and disappear downstairs.
283
00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:57,193
You need to get
to Greg's level and really engage with him.
284
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,365
Find an activity you both enjoy.
285
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:05,198
What are we going to do,
play Twisted WarlockalL day?
286
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,786
I hate to say it,
but we have absolutely nothing in common.
287
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,210
What Greg needs is a role model.
288
00:18:11,506 --> 00:18:14,957
Someone he can look up to.
Sit down and talk with him.
289
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,466
I do, but he doesn't listen to me.
290
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:21,048
Trust me, hanging out
together is no fun for either of us.
291
00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:24,560
You always complain that your father
292
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:25,966
never spent enough time with you
293
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:27,384
when you were young.
294
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,313
Now you're doing the same thing.
295
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,316
Be the father you wish
your father had been.
296
00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:42,233
You're right.
297
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,664
I should put in more time.
298
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,001
GREG: That didn't sound good.
299
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,336
Rise and shine!
300
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,508
It's Saturday!
301
00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,176
We get to spend the whole day together!
302
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,425
FRANK: You know...
303
00:19:09,397 --> 00:19:10,856
...it takes a while to get here
304
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:12,357
and it's an effort to get the boat out...
305
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:14,693
...but this is what it's all about.
306
00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:17,442
You and me, spending
quality time together.
307
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:21,447
Okay, buddy, hand me some bait.
308
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:27,779
(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)
309
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,038
Well...
310
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,300
...we should think about getting back.
311
00:19:45,266 --> 00:19:46,891
GREG: As bad as this was...
312
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:50,803
...Mom 's idea of
a good summer activity was even worse.
313
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,564
I'm so glad...
314
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:54,980
...you all decided
to become founding members
315
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:57,233
of the Reading Is Fun Club!
316
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:58,810
So...
317
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,822
...let's share the books you brought.
318
00:20:06,704 --> 00:20:09,160
I'm not so sure these
qualify as literature.
319
00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:12,411
How about I get some real books? Classics.
320
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,752
Something to stimulate your minds.
321
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:17,756
I'll be right back!
322
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:23,168
Thank you so much, Gregory,
for making the summer a time...
323
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,012
...to study and write book reports.
324
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,675
You think I want to do this?
My summer's turned into a nightmare.
325
00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:30,518
You should come with me
to the country club!
326
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:33,853
It's really fun
and you get to be outside all day.
327
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:37,775
Ta-da!
328
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,027
Let's get this party started! Oh, yeah!
329
00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:43,907
Mmm-hmm.
330
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:48,444
GREG: What do I do? I want to call Holly,
but the number's no good.
331
00:20:48,746 --> 00:20:50,538
ROWLEY: Only the last
two numbers are missing.
332
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:54,283
That means there's only
100 different numbers it could be.
333
00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:55,783
I've got it!
334
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:59,789
I'll call every number
it could be until I get the right one.
335
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,803
Hello? Freggers speaking.
336
00:21:12,937 --> 00:21:14,396
Hello? Pickup or delivery?
337
00:21:14,939 --> 00:21:15,971
This is Brad.
338
00:21:16,107 --> 00:21:17,138
Hello?
339
00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:21,392
(SIGHS)
340
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,730
This is the coach.
341
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,659
BOTH: (WHISPERING) Coach Malone?
342
00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:29,985
Who is this?
343
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,747
(WHISPERING) Don't tell him, Greg.
344
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,664
Greg? Greg who?
345
00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:36,912
Okay, listen up, "Greg".
I don't know who you are...
346
00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:39,418
...but if you call again,
I'll reach through the phone...
347
00:21:40,548 --> 00:21:44,083
GREG: So far, this is
shaping up to be the worst summer ever.
348
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:46,255
(PLAYING BUGLE BADLY)
349
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:48,885
(GASPING)
350
00:21:50,975 --> 00:21:53,929
Come on!
We'll be late for the Battle of Phillipi!
351
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,095
(YELLING)
352
00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:01,604
GREG: Dad's really into Civil
War reenactments, which are basically...
353
00:22:01,903 --> 00:22:04,026
...a bunch of grown men dressed
354
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:06,355
as soldiers running around in muddy fields.
355
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:10,276
I didn't get to carry a gun.
I had the honor of being bugle boy.
356
00:22:10,578 --> 00:22:15,205
We re-enactors pride ourselves
on being completely authentic.
357
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,781
Ronnie...
358
00:22:17,418 --> 00:22:19,707
...carved his own buttons
out of black rubber.
359
00:22:20,588 --> 00:22:25,381
And Artie... his underwear,
made out of horsehair.
360
00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:28,470
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)
361
00:22:28,596 --> 00:22:30,055
What are you doing?
362
00:22:30,765 --> 00:22:32,722
It's spring, 1861!
363
00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:35,473
We're trying to outflank
Porterfield's armies!
364
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:38,053
There's no video games! Come on!
365
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:40,305
Okay, okay.
366
00:22:40,483 --> 00:22:43,235
All right. Now, the deciding factor...
367
00:22:43,611 --> 00:22:45,983
...the reason we win this battle...
368
00:22:46,155 --> 00:22:48,563
is we hold the element of surprise.
369
00:22:50,326 --> 00:22:52,118
(PLAYING BADLY)
370
00:22:52,245 --> 00:22:53,324
No!
371
00:22:53,454 --> 00:22:56,076
No, we need the element of surprise!
372
00:22:56,457 --> 00:22:57,655
That kid ruined everything!
373
00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,079
CONFEDERATE SOLDIER: Let's get him!
374
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:01,034
(GUNFIRE)
375
00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:03,462
Where are you going?
376
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,792
It's a reenactment! We won!
377
00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:26,482
(SIGHS)
378
00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:29,238
(RINGING)
379
00:23:30,366 --> 00:23:31,398
Hello?
380
00:23:31,534 --> 00:23:33,990
Hey, Greg. I can't make
it to the book club.
381
00:23:34,329 --> 00:23:37,116
My mom's taking me to the country club.
She said I could invite you.
382
00:23:37,373 --> 00:23:38,654
No, thanks.
383
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,285
Let's crack open Little Women and
see what's up with the girls.
384
00:23:44,672 --> 00:23:46,131
I'll be right over!
385
00:23:50,386 --> 00:23:52,011
We're going to have so much fun!
386
00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:53,627
If you say so.
387
00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:56,470
LENWOOD: Up!
388
00:23:56,851 --> 00:23:58,476
Up! Up!
389
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:05,315
Up! Come on!
390
00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:07,817
Davey, you call that a push-up?
391
00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:23,074
Hello, Mrs. Jefferson.
392
00:24:23,252 --> 00:24:24,332
MRS. JEFFERSON: Hi, Amy.
393
00:24:24,879 --> 00:24:25,875
Crowded today?
394
00:24:26,214 --> 00:24:28,206
The nice weather really brought people out.
395
00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:34,006
Wow! Amy wasn't kidding!
396
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:36,346
It is crowded today.
397
00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:41,852
This is crowded?
398
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:48,859
Care for a smoothie?
399
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,517
They bring stuff to you?
400
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:52,025
Yes, they do.
401
00:24:52,615 --> 00:24:54,109
(THE GOOD LIFE PLAYING)
402
00:24:56,869 --> 00:24:57,949
Yes!
403
00:25:01,791 --> 00:25:03,071
Sorry!
404
00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:05,706
GREG: I guess I do like being outside...
405
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:08,211
...when I'm outside at a country club.
406
00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:11,164
GREG: It's Holly Hills!
407
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:12,332
She's always here.
408
00:25:12,593 --> 00:25:13,874
She's a member.
409
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:17,889
And you didn't think maybe
you should tell me that?
410
00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,892
Now it's step... swing... catch it up high.
411
00:25:23,062 --> 00:25:24,177
(SIGHS)
412
00:25:24,939 --> 00:25:27,893
Bye! And remember, work on your forehand.
413
00:25:29,902 --> 00:25:30,934
GREG: Hey, Holly.
414
00:25:31,070 --> 00:25:32,066
Hey, guys!
415
00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:34,653
I thought you were going to call me.
416
00:25:34,949 --> 00:25:38,235
(LAUGHS) I was going to,
but... then I realized I'd see you here.
417
00:25:38,536 --> 00:25:40,161
So, what are you up to?
418
00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:41,865
I'm helping the tennis coach.
419
00:25:41,998 --> 00:25:44,074
I give lessons to little kids.
420
00:25:44,959 --> 00:25:47,165
That's so weird. We're all about tennis!
421
00:25:47,879 --> 00:25:49,918
Cool! We should play sometime.
422
00:25:50,214 --> 00:25:52,171
Actually, I've never played...
423
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:53,925
We'd love to play!
424
00:25:54,635 --> 00:25:56,178
What about tomorrow at eleven?
425
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:58,095
Eleven's perfect.
426
00:25:58,473 --> 00:25:59,671
See you tomorrow!
427
00:25:59,849 --> 00:26:01,094
Tomorrow it is!
428
00:26:02,810 --> 00:26:05,182
And that's how you improve your summer.
429
00:26:06,606 --> 00:26:08,148
BOTH: (SINGING) La, la, la, la
430
00:26:08,524 --> 00:26:10,066
La, la, la, la, la, la
431
00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:11,432
SUSAN: No, no.
432
00:26:11,819 --> 00:26:14,939
More. More. Oh, come on, Manny!
433
00:26:15,239 --> 00:26:16,354
Hi, Mom.
434
00:26:16,491 --> 00:26:19,278
Wow. Somebody looks like
they actually had fun.
435
00:26:19,410 --> 00:26:20,441
Hello!
436
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:21,776
Hello.
437
00:26:22,246 --> 00:26:23,242
Just the guy I'm looking for.
438
00:26:23,372 --> 00:26:24,452
Me?
439
00:26:24,582 --> 00:26:27,868
My office is offering a summer internship.
440
00:26:28,169 --> 00:26:29,793
And I signed you up for it!
441
00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:31,369
What's an internship?
442
00:26:31,547 --> 00:26:32,792
FRANK: Well...
443
00:26:33,090 --> 00:26:35,878
You'll come to my office every day...
444
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:39,462
...but you'll have your own responsibilities.
It's like a job.
445
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:41,388
- Do I get paid?
- No.
446
00:26:41,682 --> 00:26:43,474
You got me a non-paying job?
447
00:26:43,851 --> 00:26:45,808
You can be work buddies!
448
00:26:51,275 --> 00:26:52,390
How long till we go home?
449
00:26:53,194 --> 00:26:55,233
We got here eight minutes ago!
450
00:27:00,201 --> 00:27:02,324
It sounds really great, but...
451
00:27:03,704 --> 00:27:05,662
This is awkward.
452
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:08,245
It's just that... I already got a job.
453
00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:10,167
What? You got a job?
454
00:27:10,461 --> 00:27:12,917
Yeah! Rowley invited me
to the country club...
455
00:27:13,214 --> 00:27:15,669
...and I saw a "Help Wanted" sign.
456
00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:18,422
I went to the manager and he hired me.
457
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:21,343
He said he liked my pluck.
458
00:27:22,223 --> 00:27:23,338
Wait.
459
00:27:23,724 --> 00:27:25,516
You actually got a job?
460
00:27:25,893 --> 00:27:29,511
Yeah. But I can call and tell
him I can't if you want me...
461
00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:33,349
No, no! That's fantastic!
Can you believe it, Susan?
462
00:27:34,068 --> 00:27:35,349
Our son got himself a job!
463
00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:36,856
I know.
464
00:27:40,491 --> 00:27:43,611
Somebody around here
actually did something.
465
00:27:46,747 --> 00:27:48,206
It's great!
466
00:27:52,086 --> 00:27:53,165
(SIGHS)
467
00:27:53,921 --> 00:27:55,830
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
468
00:28:00,386 --> 00:28:03,470
Keeping you down
The new sheriff in town
469
00:28:03,598 --> 00:28:06,515
I'm the man
I'm the man, I'm the man
470
00:28:07,101 --> 00:28:10,850
Don't mess with me, hoss
'Cause I lay down the laws
471
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:13,732
I'm the man
I'm the man, I'm the man
472
00:28:15,443 --> 00:28:18,728
I think we should tell her
we've never played tennis.
473
00:28:19,113 --> 00:28:21,984
We played Ultimate Tennis
on the Wii, it's the same thing.
474
00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:24,113
Hi, guys.
475
00:28:24,285 --> 00:28:25,316
BOTH: Hi, Holly!
476
00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:26,734
Jinx!
477
00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:35,332
Oh, no. What is she doing here?
478
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,245
Should we start with a rally?
479
00:28:37,423 --> 00:28:38,621
What's that?
480
00:28:39,008 --> 00:28:41,760
Oh, Rowley. Can you ever be serious?
481
00:28:42,178 --> 00:28:43,553
They'll let anyone in this place.
482
00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:45,293
That must be why you're here.
483
00:28:45,681 --> 00:28:46,677
Hey!
484
00:28:46,807 --> 00:28:49,927
Let's play doubles.
Patty and me versus you two.
485
00:28:50,186 --> 00:28:51,265
Okay.
486
00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:54,310
I'm gonna kill you!
487
00:29:03,324 --> 00:29:04,320
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
488
00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:06,363
Hey!
489
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:07,774
Sorry.
490
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,120
Fifteen, love.
491
00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:13,406
What'd she call me?
492
00:29:14,043 --> 00:29:15,870
(GRUNTS)
GREG: - Ow!
493
00:29:16,003 --> 00:29:17,034
PATTY: Yes!
494
00:29:17,672 --> 00:29:19,000
I mean, oops.
495
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,465
(SCOFFS)
- Thirty, love.
496
00:29:21,842 --> 00:29:24,131
Whatever you say... love!
497
00:29:25,012 --> 00:29:26,127
What?
498
00:29:26,722 --> 00:29:28,300
He's a weirdo.
499
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,047
(CELEBRATE SUMMER PLAYING)
500
00:29:30,184 --> 00:29:32,592
Hey, little girl,
would you like a dance?
501
00:29:32,728 --> 00:29:33,891
(LAUGHING) Yes!
502
00:29:34,021 --> 00:29:35,930
(GRUNTING)
503
00:29:36,065 --> 00:29:39,481
Hey, little girl,
want a quick romance?
504
00:29:39,610 --> 00:29:43,560
Hey, little girl,
won't you take a chance
505
00:29:44,073 --> 00:29:47,857
And celebrate summer with me
506
00:29:49,078 --> 00:29:52,779
Hey, little chick,
where'd you learn that trick?
507
00:29:53,833 --> 00:29:57,533
Hey, don't you know
you got rock and roll?
508
00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:02,246
Hey, little girl,
won't you take a chance
509
00:30:02,883 --> 00:30:04,793
I got it! I got it!
510
00:30:04,927 --> 00:30:06,671
And celebrate summer with me
511
00:30:08,764 --> 00:30:09,796
Oh!
512
00:30:13,394 --> 00:30:16,845
Have either of you
actually played tennis before?
513
00:30:17,231 --> 00:30:19,556
Yeah... Ultimate Tennis on the Wii.
514
00:30:21,235 --> 00:30:23,026
It's not exactly the same thing.
515
00:30:24,071 --> 00:30:25,731
I could give you a few pointers.
516
00:30:31,412 --> 00:30:34,199
You have to follow through. Like this.
517
00:30:39,503 --> 00:30:40,499
Ugh!
518
00:30:40,629 --> 00:30:41,744
We have to go. It's an emergency.
519
00:30:41,964 --> 00:30:43,079
A mega-emergency.
520
00:30:43,424 --> 00:30:46,544
The printer messed
up the invitations for my Sweet Sixteen.
521
00:30:46,802 --> 00:30:48,759
What does that have to do with me?
522
00:30:49,805 --> 00:30:53,423
People have expectations.
Everything has to be perfect!
523
00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:57,061
You'll never understand
what it's like to be pretty.
524
00:30:58,439 --> 00:31:00,063
Can you drive me home later?
525
00:31:00,316 --> 00:31:02,771
Come back for you? No.
It's like ten minutes away!
526
00:31:02,902 --> 00:31:04,610
Now move it or lose it.
527
00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:08,729
Wow!
528
00:31:09,116 --> 00:31:10,397
I know, right?
529
00:31:11,285 --> 00:31:12,910
I'll see you guys later!
530
00:31:14,997 --> 00:31:15,946
Bye!
531
00:31:16,665 --> 00:31:19,121
GREG: Not bad for
the first day of my fake job.
532
00:31:19,460 --> 00:31:22,081
Plus, now Dad and I
are both "working men "...
533
00:31:22,671 --> 00:31:23,952
... we get along great.
534
00:31:24,173 --> 00:31:25,916
Happy Fourth of July!
535
00:31:28,511 --> 00:31:32,129
FRANK: "Li'l Cutie cartoonist
to retire in three months"!
536
00:31:32,515 --> 00:31:34,306
We won't have to read
that garbage anymore!
537
00:31:34,475 --> 00:31:36,432
Good riddance!
538
00:31:36,811 --> 00:31:37,890
GREG: Every Fourth of July,
539
00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:41,436
our neighbors, the Warrens,
throw a big party for the whole block.
540
00:31:41,816 --> 00:31:44,770
Mom and Dad make us all go. Which is bad...
541
00:31:45,152 --> 00:31:48,272
...because I've been
a voiding Rodrick's built-in lie detector.
542
00:31:48,531 --> 00:31:49,526
Hey, worker bee.
543
00:31:49,824 --> 00:31:53,275
You know, you having a job
doesn't pass the smell test.
544
00:31:53,661 --> 00:31:55,321
Yes, it does. It totally does!
545
00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:00,829
Here, sweetie.
546
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:01,955
Thanks.
547
00:32:06,173 --> 00:32:08,960
With my boys, it's go, go, go!
548
00:32:09,093 --> 00:32:11,132
I have to wrestle them in every night.
549
00:32:11,679 --> 00:32:13,303
Same with my boys.
550
00:32:13,597 --> 00:32:16,883
They're in my Wilderness
Explorers troop now. They love it!
551
00:32:17,184 --> 00:32:19,971
I loved being in the Wilderness Explorers.
552
00:32:20,604 --> 00:32:22,312
- You did?
- Yeah. Loved it.
553
00:32:22,606 --> 00:32:26,307
That one camping trip
we took as kids, you cried the whole time.
554
00:32:27,194 --> 00:32:30,148
Well, I broke my arm in two places.
555
00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:32,313
Cried the whole time.
556
00:32:32,616 --> 00:32:33,612
Yeah, I...
557
00:32:34,368 --> 00:32:35,483
It hurt.
558
00:32:35,870 --> 00:32:39,321
You know what?
You should join the Wilderness Explorers.
559
00:32:39,957 --> 00:32:41,665
I'm more of an indoor person.
560
00:32:41,959 --> 00:32:43,239
Exactly. When's the next meeting?
561
00:32:43,544 --> 00:32:45,537
The waiting list for our
troop is a mile long.
562
00:32:45,671 --> 00:32:47,794
Everybody wants to join
the best of the best.
563
00:32:47,923 --> 00:32:49,252
(BARKING)
564
00:32:49,383 --> 00:32:52,004
Is that your dog? We grew up with a dog.
565
00:32:52,386 --> 00:32:54,343
Nutty. Frank named him.
566
00:32:54,638 --> 00:32:56,927
You can never be too young
to learn responsibility.
567
00:32:57,057 --> 00:32:58,682
You should get your boys a dog.
568
00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:01,684
Yeah. That's a great idea.
569
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:09,187
I think I'll speak to Dad
about my suspicions.
570
00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:11,279
Do whatever you want.
571
00:33:13,073 --> 00:33:14,354
I will.
572
00:33:17,244 --> 00:33:18,525
Okay! Okay!
573
00:33:20,664 --> 00:33:22,456
I don't really have a job.
574
00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:23,912
Holly Hills is a member,
575
00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,119
if I'm at the country club,
I can hang out with her.
576
00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:27,617
I knew it.
577
00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:29,332
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
578
00:33:30,090 --> 00:33:31,466
So is Heather Hills there, too?
579
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,217
- Heather who?
- I want in.
580
00:33:35,095 --> 00:33:37,468
I can't get you in there.
I go as Rowley's guest.
581
00:33:37,765 --> 00:33:39,307
I'll go as your guest.
582
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,593
I can't bring the guest. I am the guest.
583
00:33:41,727 --> 00:33:43,138
There's no guest for the guest.
584
00:33:43,270 --> 00:33:44,301
Mmm...
585
00:33:44,438 --> 00:33:45,553
(SIGHS)
586
00:33:45,689 --> 00:33:47,848
GREG: Things are getting complicated.
587
00:33:47,983 --> 00:33:49,892
But at least something good
came out of the barbecue.
588
00:33:50,194 --> 00:33:51,225
FRANK: Introducing...
589
00:33:51,946 --> 00:33:54,567
...the new member of the Heffley family!
590
00:33:55,157 --> 00:33:57,316
(EXCLAIMS)
- Hey, hey!
591
00:33:57,451 --> 00:33:59,076
Oh, Frank.
592
00:33:59,370 --> 00:34:01,161
I wish you'd checked with me first.
593
00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:04,327
I think this is more of a family decision.
594
00:34:05,042 --> 00:34:06,157
Who's a good puppy?
595
00:34:06,293 --> 00:34:07,324
We can call him Shredder!
596
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:08,624
No.
597
00:34:08,754 --> 00:34:09,750
Rip jaw?
598
00:34:10,130 --> 00:34:12,088
We can call him Sweetie.
599
00:34:12,633 --> 00:34:13,629
SUSAN: Sweetie!
600
00:34:14,051 --> 00:34:15,676
Sweetie, that's a great name!
601
00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:17,250
Yeah. Yeah.
602
00:34:17,972 --> 00:34:20,178
GREG: Dad was willing to go
with any name Mom wanted
603
00:34:20,307 --> 00:34:22,514
if it meant
he didn't have to take the dog back.
604
00:34:22,851 --> 00:34:24,511
(I'M THINKING SUNSHINE PLAYING)
605
00:34:26,981 --> 00:34:28,261
Sweetie!
606
00:34:29,066 --> 00:34:30,097
Sweetie.
607
00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:31,646
(BARKING)
- Oh!
608
00:34:34,905 --> 00:34:36,150
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
609
00:34:39,493 --> 00:34:41,118
Sweetie! Sweetie!
610
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:42,449
(LAUGHING)
611
00:34:52,756 --> 00:34:55,045
GREG: I always thought
I wanted a dog, but...
612
00:34:55,342 --> 00:34:57,299
...I'm having second thoughts.
613
00:34:58,178 --> 00:35:00,467
All right, ready? Sit. Sit!
614
00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:03,054
Good! Hey, did you see that?
615
00:35:03,350 --> 00:35:04,595
Okay, now shake.
616
00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:06,055
(WHISTLES) Yoo-hoo!
617
00:35:06,186 --> 00:35:08,309
Shake. Shake.
618
00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:09,887
Here you go.
619
00:35:12,192 --> 00:35:13,651
"Sweaty"?
620
00:35:15,112 --> 00:35:17,484
I'm pretty sure it spells Sweetie, Dad.
(CHUCKLES)
621
00:35:17,906 --> 00:35:19,021
(SIGHS)
622
00:35:21,201 --> 00:35:22,482
Wow.
623
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,995
I love you.
624
00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:39,582
GREG: With Sweetie around, I'd hoped
625
00:35:39,762 --> 00:35:42,549
Dad would forget
about joining the Wilderness Explorers.
626
00:35:42,931 --> 00:35:45,719
But Dad connected
with his old troop master.
627
00:35:47,102 --> 00:35:49,059
As your father knows...
628
00:35:49,396 --> 00:35:52,896
...we take our scouting
very seriously in Troop 133.
629
00:35:53,233 --> 00:35:54,229
It's true.
630
00:35:54,443 --> 00:35:57,397
Only the very best
get to be part of this troop.
631
00:35:57,613 --> 00:36:00,068
It's so great to
be back here, Troop Master Barrett!
632
00:36:00,407 --> 00:36:02,483
Now, you boys get yourselves a uniform,
633
00:36:02,659 --> 00:36:04,736
and the first thing you'll do...
634
00:36:05,287 --> 00:36:09,071
...is clean out that musty
old storage locker.
635
00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:11,082
Oh! (LAUGHING)
636
00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:13,251
Oh, really? Okay.
637
00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:16,706
GREG: Dad got more than he bargained for.
638
00:36:16,965 --> 00:36:20,251
But he couldn't wiggle out of
it, that would set a bad example.
639
00:36:20,594 --> 00:36:23,381
BARRETT: Whittling is
the kind of skill you'll need...
640
00:36:23,639 --> 00:36:26,723
...for our upcoming wilderness weekend.
641
00:36:30,479 --> 00:36:32,057
I'm getting splinters.
642
00:36:32,314 --> 00:36:33,595
This is impossible.
643
00:36:36,110 --> 00:36:38,565
I have finished, Troop Master Barrett!
644
00:36:40,989 --> 00:36:43,943
GREG: It seems the only break I'll get
this summer is at the country club.
645
00:36:44,618 --> 00:36:47,453
That is, as long as Rodrick
doesn't ruin things.
646
00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:49,366
RODRICK: (WHISPERING) Hey!
647
00:36:51,291 --> 00:36:53,249
Don't forget about me.
648
00:36:54,169 --> 00:36:55,961
Go around the back!
649
00:37:02,010 --> 00:37:03,291
Marco!
650
00:37:04,179 --> 00:37:05,294
Polo!
651
00:37:06,515 --> 00:37:07,795
Marco!
652
00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:09,762
Polo!
653
00:37:10,769 --> 00:37:13,307
(BOYS CONTINUE PLAYING MARCO POLO)
654
00:37:29,037 --> 00:37:30,318
Rodrick?
655
00:37:31,039 --> 00:37:32,154
Rodrick!
656
00:37:32,499 --> 00:37:35,169
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) Hello, guvnor!
Top of the crumpet to you! Ooh!
657
00:37:36,003 --> 00:37:40,131
Where's the nearest loo, mate?
Mustered up a wee little tinkle!
658
00:37:40,382 --> 00:37:41,841
GREG: I don't want to sound like a snob,
659
00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:44,678
but I'm not sure Rodrick
is country club material.
660
00:37:45,053 --> 00:37:46,334
ROWLEY: Marco!
661
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:47,795
Polo!
662
00:37:48,056 --> 00:37:50,808
Wow! You can hold your breath
a really long time!
663
00:37:51,059 --> 00:37:52,684
Would you like another smoothie?
664
00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:54,051
No, thanks. Polo!
665
00:37:54,229 --> 00:37:55,688
I'd like to order a few things.
666
00:37:56,064 --> 00:37:57,179
He's not serious.
667
00:37:57,524 --> 00:38:01,308
I'm very serious. Two orders of
fries, vanilla shake extra thick...
668
00:38:01,570 --> 00:38:02,981
...and anything with bacon on it.
669
00:38:03,906 --> 00:38:05,364
Fish out of water!
670
00:38:05,741 --> 00:38:09,026
Finally! I thought I'd never find you!
671
00:38:09,745 --> 00:38:11,025
What's Rodrick doing here?
672
00:38:11,580 --> 00:38:14,201
I got invited! You got a problem?
673
00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:16,326
No! No problem!
674
00:38:18,253 --> 00:38:21,373
Mom is going to kill you!
When did you get a tattoo?
675
00:38:21,715 --> 00:38:24,004
There's a lot you
don't know about me, Greggy.
676
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,844
GREG: Having Rodrick
at the country club really made me nervous.
677
00:38:29,097 --> 00:38:31,505
I told him to keep a low profile.
678
00:38:31,683 --> 00:38:34,056
I didn't want to get
fired from my fake job.
679
00:38:34,436 --> 00:38:37,223
But, of course, he didn't listen.
680
00:38:43,946 --> 00:38:45,570
It's Heather Hills time.
681
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,568
Don't go over there.
682
00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:50,571
I'm not. She's coming to me.
683
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:53,864
GREG: Rodrick did have a plan.
684
00:38:54,289 --> 00:38:57,243
Unfortunately, he came up with it himself.
685
00:38:57,793 --> 00:39:01,244
I guess he saw Heather's Lifeguard
outfit and figured she'd be into...
686
00:39:01,588 --> 00:39:03,248
...saving people and stuff.
687
00:39:07,135 --> 00:39:08,167
(SCREAMS)
688
00:39:08,303 --> 00:39:09,335
Cramp!
689
00:39:09,471 --> 00:39:12,757
Excuse me.
What time does the snack bar close?
690
00:39:13,141 --> 00:39:16,261
What am I, a guidebook?
Come back when you're drowning.
691
00:39:16,603 --> 00:39:17,634
Cramp!
692
00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:20,564
There's no need to be mean.
693
00:39:20,816 --> 00:39:23,271
Help! Hey, look, I'm drowning! Hey!
694
00:39:24,319 --> 00:39:27,154
Listen, shrimp, the reason I'm
here in this ridiculous outfit
695
00:39:27,322 --> 00:39:28,900
is to get credit for my
college application.
696
00:39:30,158 --> 00:39:31,617
Oh! I can't...
697
00:39:32,494 --> 00:39:33,609
I'm drowning!
698
00:39:35,330 --> 00:39:36,955
So bounce.
699
00:39:38,166 --> 00:39:40,455
Cramp! Help! Help!
700
00:39:41,169 --> 00:39:42,545
(SCREAMS) What the...
701
00:39:42,754 --> 00:39:43,750
I got you!
702
00:39:43,964 --> 00:39:44,960
RODRICK: Who are you?
703
00:39:45,299 --> 00:39:46,757
- I don't even know you!
- You're okay.
704
00:39:47,009 --> 00:39:48,800
What is happening?
705
00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:51,710
(SCREAMING)
706
00:39:53,849 --> 00:39:54,845
(COUGHS)
707
00:39:56,602 --> 00:39:57,800
Ohh!
708
00:40:03,650 --> 00:40:05,061
(SOBBING)
709
00:40:13,702 --> 00:40:15,410
Guess what?
710
00:40:15,537 --> 00:40:16,818
We're going to the shore this weekend
711
00:40:17,039 --> 00:40:18,319
and my mom said I could invite you!
712
00:40:18,665 --> 00:40:20,574
The boardwalk's awesome.
713
00:40:20,709 --> 00:40:23,282
Go on the Cranium Shaker.
You haven't lived till you've done that.
714
00:40:23,545 --> 00:40:24,826
You should come!
715
00:40:25,172 --> 00:40:28,457
GREG: I think most people would agree
I'm a pretty likeable kid...
716
00:40:28,717 --> 00:40:32,168
...but for some reason,
I've never clicked with Mr. Jefferson.
717
00:40:36,892 --> 00:40:38,516
SUSAN: Greg. Honey.
718
00:40:40,562 --> 00:40:43,018
Your father and I
have something to give you.
719
00:40:43,357 --> 00:40:47,306
You've showed us
you're responsible enough to have one.
720
00:40:47,861 --> 00:40:49,142
Your own cell phone.
721
00:40:49,404 --> 00:40:51,527
Are you serious? My own cell phone?
722
00:40:57,371 --> 00:40:58,995
It doesn't have a keypad.
723
00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:02,327
It's a starter phone.
You can call home or 911.
724
00:41:02,584 --> 00:41:04,209
We didn't want to overwhelm you.
725
00:41:05,921 --> 00:41:07,201
Thanks.
726
00:41:10,717 --> 00:41:12,046
Have a good time!
727
00:41:14,596 --> 00:41:15,711
See you.
728
00:41:22,062 --> 00:41:23,686
We're going to the boardwalk!
729
00:41:23,855 --> 00:41:25,515
I can't wait to ride the Cranium Shaker!
730
00:41:25,774 --> 00:41:28,063
The Cranium Shaker?
731
00:41:28,944 --> 00:41:30,355
You're too funny, Greg.
732
00:41:31,029 --> 00:41:32,227
(LAUGHING)
733
00:41:33,073 --> 00:41:34,401
MRS. JEFFERSON: Who wants to sing?
734
00:41:34,783 --> 00:41:35,814
Me!
735
00:41:36,451 --> 00:41:38,859
ALL: (SINGING) Five thousand bottles
of milk on the wall
736
00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:40,739
Five thousand bottles of milk
737
00:41:41,123 --> 00:41:43,246
Take one down, pass it around
738
00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:46,703
Four thousand nine hundred ninety-nine
Bottles of milk on the wall
739
00:41:54,094 --> 00:41:57,379
Sixteen bottles of milk on the wall
Sixteen bottles of milk
740
00:41:57,639 --> 00:42:01,933
Take one down, pass it around
Fifteen bottles of milk on the wall
741
00:42:12,446 --> 00:42:14,237
GREG: We're so far from the boardwalk.
742
00:42:15,031 --> 00:42:18,317
Oh, yeah! It's much quieter up here!
743
00:42:21,204 --> 00:42:24,988
MRS. JEFFERSON: Why don't
we play "I love you because "?
744
00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:26,156
ROWLEY: Yay!
745
00:42:26,293 --> 00:42:27,573
I'll start.
746
00:42:32,799 --> 00:42:34,080
I love you because...
747
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:37,256
...you're silly and you make me laugh.
748
00:42:39,473 --> 00:42:40,671
My turn.
749
00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:48,521
I love you because...
750
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:52,106
...you help me keep my body clean!
751
00:42:54,571 --> 00:42:55,851
ROWLEY: Your turn, Greg.
752
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:03,452
Land on me, land on me!
753
00:43:13,423 --> 00:43:15,380
I love you because...
754
00:43:17,260 --> 00:43:20,047
...your mustache is... really...
755
00:43:24,434 --> 00:43:26,557
...because...
756
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:31,398
...because...
757
00:43:34,611 --> 00:43:36,236
...because...
758
00:43:37,697 --> 00:43:39,820
GREG: How do you even win this game?
759
00:43:42,410 --> 00:43:44,118
(LA LA LA PLAYING)
760
00:43:54,548 --> 00:43:56,090
It's awfully crowded here.
761
00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:58,422
It's quieter at the amusement park.
762
00:43:58,718 --> 00:44:00,343
Who wants ice cream?
763
00:44:00,637 --> 00:44:02,262
- Yay! Strawberry!
- Vanilla for me.
764
00:44:02,556 --> 00:44:04,762
Rocky Road! Thanks.
765
00:44:21,074 --> 00:44:23,446
We like to share, it's more fun that way.
766
00:44:25,745 --> 00:44:26,777
Would you like some?
767
00:44:27,581 --> 00:44:28,861
Oh, no, thanks.
768
00:44:29,332 --> 00:44:32,119
I just remembered I'm lactose intolerant.
769
00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:36,791
Meet us back here in exactly one hour.
770
00:44:37,173 --> 00:44:39,296
And no scary rides for you boys.
771
00:44:39,593 --> 00:44:40,624
Got it.
772
00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:46,805
Cranium Shaker, here we come.
773
00:44:47,183 --> 00:44:48,975
ROWLEY: But my mom said...
774
00:44:49,311 --> 00:44:51,434
(GOOD FEELING PLAYING)
775
00:44:59,029 --> 00:45:00,820
We'll come back later
when the line goes down.
776
00:45:39,194 --> 00:45:40,474
(WOLF HOWLING)
777
00:45:41,196 --> 00:45:42,394
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
778
00:45:45,075 --> 00:45:46,189
(EXCLAIMING IN DISTRESS)
779
00:45:49,913 --> 00:45:51,455
GREG: There's no line!
780
00:45:55,835 --> 00:45:59,121
I did promise my mom
we wouldn't go on any scary rides.
781
00:45:59,422 --> 00:46:01,249
But Rodrick says you haven't lived till
782
00:46:01,383 --> 00:46:03,209
you've been on the Cranium Shaker.
783
00:46:03,510 --> 00:46:04,541
Have you been on this ride?
784
00:46:04,678 --> 00:46:05,709
It's way scary.
785
00:46:05,845 --> 00:46:07,470
Did you hear what happened last summer?
786
00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:09,426
My brother knows a guy
787
00:46:09,557 --> 00:46:11,052
whose second cousin's half-brother
788
00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:12,720
went on this ride and got decapitated.
789
00:46:13,019 --> 00:46:14,050
GIRL 2: No way!
GIRL 1: Way.
790
00:46:14,187 --> 00:46:16,808
It's true. I was working the ride that day.
791
00:46:18,274 --> 00:46:22,568
The car came down
and his head... wasn't in it.
792
00:46:27,784 --> 00:46:30,571
When you guys get to the top...
793
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:34,075
...be sure not to rock
the car back and forth.
794
00:46:34,457 --> 00:46:35,738
That's how...
795
00:46:42,674 --> 00:46:44,298
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
796
00:46:48,096 --> 00:46:49,211
(BEEPING)
797
00:46:49,889 --> 00:46:51,087
(BELL RINGING)
798
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:05,696
(CREAKING)
799
00:47:06,072 --> 00:47:08,029
He said not to rock the car!
800
00:47:08,324 --> 00:47:10,116
Or our heads will be torn off!
801
00:47:12,328 --> 00:47:15,329
Greg, in case we don't make it,
802
00:47:15,457 --> 00:47:16,999
there's something I have to tell you.
803
00:47:17,500 --> 00:47:21,119
One time, I went to the
bathroom and I didn't wash my hands.
804
00:47:22,172 --> 00:47:25,623
One time, I used your
toothbrush to get dog poop off my shoe.
805
00:47:26,593 --> 00:47:27,707
Wait. What?
806
00:47:31,639 --> 00:47:33,549
(BOTH SCREAMING)
807
00:47:39,105 --> 00:47:41,228
Slow it down, slow it down, slow it down!
808
00:47:42,650 --> 00:47:43,682
Greg!
809
00:47:43,818 --> 00:47:44,850
Rowley!
810
00:47:45,612 --> 00:47:46,643
Greg, Greg!
811
00:47:47,947 --> 00:47:49,358
(SCREAMING)
812
00:47:50,366 --> 00:47:52,443
Please! (SCREAMING)
813
00:47:56,372 --> 00:47:57,997
Greg! Greg!
814
00:48:05,590 --> 00:48:07,215
(BOTH PANTING)
815
00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:12,883
You were supposed to meet us an hour ago.
816
00:48:13,014 --> 00:48:14,295
We were searching everywhere.
817
00:48:14,641 --> 00:48:16,099
MR. JEFFERSON: We were
about to call the police.
818
00:48:17,018 --> 00:48:21,098
We're very disappointed in you, Rowley.
Very disappointed.
819
00:48:27,362 --> 00:48:29,153
They let us off easy!
820
00:48:30,657 --> 00:48:33,942
Why are you upset?
They didn't even yell at us.
821
00:48:34,202 --> 00:48:35,993
They almost yelled.
822
00:48:36,371 --> 00:48:39,491
That was nothing. My parents would
have screamed their heads off.
823
00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:41,291
They're disappointed in me.
824
00:48:41,543 --> 00:48:43,666
Big deal. Better than getting punished.
825
00:48:44,045 --> 00:48:47,331
Maybe for you. You're used to it.
826
00:48:58,518 --> 00:48:59,681
(YAWNS)
827
00:49:00,353 --> 00:49:02,144
I can't wait to hit the hay.
828
00:49:02,397 --> 00:49:05,018
Hey, where are you going to sleep?
829
00:49:05,733 --> 00:49:09,185
I guess we're bunkmates!
Hope you don't snore.
830
00:49:15,243 --> 00:49:16,571
(SNORING)
831
00:49:40,977 --> 00:49:42,934
I can't take this anymore.
832
00:50:21,517 --> 00:50:24,803
"Help. Get me out of here."
833
00:50:25,188 --> 00:50:27,809
"These people are driving me crazy."
834
00:50:35,031 --> 00:50:36,110
Send, send, send!
835
00:50:46,542 --> 00:50:48,500
Good morning, sleepyheads!
836
00:50:48,628 --> 00:50:50,419
BOTH: Num, num, num, num!
837
00:50:50,546 --> 00:50:53,998
I have nine hundred and forty-nine e-mails?
838
00:50:56,552 --> 00:50:58,841
I need to go to the bathroom.
839
00:50:59,889 --> 00:51:01,846
I have to get out of here!
840
00:51:08,147 --> 00:51:10,769
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
841
00:51:11,067 --> 00:51:13,854
Please check the number and dial again.
842
00:51:15,238 --> 00:51:16,613
What a piece of junk!
843
00:51:16,906 --> 00:51:20,026
FEMALE OPERATOR: 911.
What is the nature of your emergency?
844
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,441
Uh...
845
00:51:23,413 --> 00:51:25,370
Hello? Are you hurt?
846
00:51:33,756 --> 00:51:35,796
Do you have anything to tell us, Greg?
847
00:51:36,426 --> 00:51:38,050
(SIREN WAILING)
- I don't think so.
848
00:51:38,344 --> 00:51:41,215
Anything about,
"These people are driving me crazy"?
849
00:51:41,931 --> 00:51:43,176
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
850
00:51:48,021 --> 00:51:49,052
Yes, Officers?
851
00:51:49,188 --> 00:51:50,220
He has a knife!
852
00:51:52,859 --> 00:51:54,139
OFFICER: Do not resist!
853
00:51:54,485 --> 00:51:55,517
Give me your hand!
854
00:51:55,945 --> 00:51:57,689
GREG: I tried to explain to Rowley's dad
855
00:51:57,864 --> 00:51:59,572
that I didn't mean to call 911...
856
00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:02,986
...but he really
wasn't interested in what I had to say.
857
00:52:03,286 --> 00:52:06,240
You're always
getting into trouble with that Rowley kid.
858
00:52:06,956 --> 00:52:09,412
I'm starting to think he's a bad influence.
859
00:52:11,127 --> 00:52:12,206
(BARKS)
860
00:52:16,215 --> 00:52:17,758
Hey, Rowley. How's it going?
861
00:52:18,301 --> 00:52:19,925
Okay, I guess.
862
00:52:20,470 --> 00:52:22,676
So, are we still on for the country club?
863
00:52:22,972 --> 00:52:25,759
Actually... I'm not going
to the country club today.
864
00:52:26,476 --> 00:52:27,590
Why not?
865
00:52:27,810 --> 00:52:30,930
What? Coming, Mom! Got to go!
866
00:52:32,774 --> 00:52:33,888
(RODRICK WHOOPING)
867
00:52:34,984 --> 00:52:37,440
Ready to get my country club on!
868
00:52:39,238 --> 00:52:42,607
Rowley isn't going
and I can't get in without him.
869
00:52:42,992 --> 00:52:46,444
Okay. Well, you snuck me in.
870
00:52:46,829 --> 00:52:51,123
So instead,
sneak yourself in and then sneak me in.
871
00:52:51,417 --> 00:52:54,703
How? I need Rowley
to get me past the front desk.
872
00:52:55,004 --> 00:52:57,293
Greg! If you don't go to "work"...
873
00:52:57,673 --> 00:52:59,251
..."Dad" will know you don't have a job.
874
00:53:01,469 --> 00:53:02,548
(SIGHS)
875
00:53:04,806 --> 00:53:06,051
(TIRES SCREECHING)
876
00:53:07,350 --> 00:53:10,055
No problem, right?
Remember, you're a Jefferson.
877
00:53:10,353 --> 00:53:13,307
And don't forget to take out the trash.
878
00:53:15,191 --> 00:53:16,222
Hey.
879
00:53:18,528 --> 00:53:20,236
Aren't you going to say hello?
880
00:53:22,698 --> 00:53:23,813
Yes.
881
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,656
How rude of me. Hello.
882
00:53:37,713 --> 00:53:38,828
Hey, Rowley!
883
00:53:40,174 --> 00:53:41,289
- Hey, Greg.
- Cool.
884
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:43,128
I didn't expect to see you here.
885
00:53:43,386 --> 00:53:47,680
(STAMMERING) Yeah!
Well, my plans changed.
886
00:53:48,391 --> 00:53:51,511
I changed my... change. I mean...
887
00:53:51,894 --> 00:53:53,970
Maybe I'll catch up with you later?
888
00:53:58,025 --> 00:53:59,306
GREG: I don't believe it!
889
00:54:00,069 --> 00:54:03,189
You lied. You never lie!
890
00:54:04,073 --> 00:54:07,027
My parents don't want me
to invite you anymore.
891
00:54:07,410 --> 00:54:10,327
I thought if I lied,
I wouldn't hurt your feelings.
892
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:25,833
Ugh.
893
00:54:37,356 --> 00:54:39,064
That was impressive.
894
00:55:08,930 --> 00:55:10,554
That's pretty high.
895
00:55:10,806 --> 00:55:12,598
GIRL: Are you talking to yourself?
896
00:55:15,770 --> 00:55:17,264
No. Of course not!
897
00:55:17,605 --> 00:55:20,392
You were. You're talking to
yourself because you're scared.
898
00:55:21,067 --> 00:55:22,098
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
899
00:55:22,610 --> 00:55:24,899
I'm not scared. That's crazy!
900
00:55:25,780 --> 00:55:28,946
You don't understand
because you're just a little kid.
901
00:55:31,118 --> 00:55:32,399
Then go.
902
00:56:06,821 --> 00:56:08,481
HEATHER: Holly! Where's your sunblock?
903
00:56:12,493 --> 00:56:14,450
(DIVING BOARD SHAKING)
- Whoa!
904
00:56:16,455 --> 00:56:17,736
(BATHING SUIT RIPPING)
905
00:56:18,749 --> 00:56:19,912
(BOTH LAUGHING)
906
00:56:23,796 --> 00:56:24,959
(GASPING)
907
00:56:33,180 --> 00:56:34,260
(LAUGHS) Oh!
908
00:56:40,688 --> 00:56:43,144
I'm sorry. I don't understand.
909
00:56:43,524 --> 00:56:45,849
You see, I'm just a little kid.
910
00:56:50,531 --> 00:56:51,646
HOLLY: Hi, Greg!
911
00:56:54,035 --> 00:56:55,066
Hey, Holly!
912
00:56:55,244 --> 00:56:58,530
Oh, my gosh, it is so hot out.
It's nice to cool off in here.
913
00:56:58,873 --> 00:57:00,332
Yeah, great.
914
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:03,199
I was going to get ice cream.
Want to join me?
915
00:57:03,753 --> 00:57:05,163
That'd be awesome!
916
00:57:06,213 --> 00:57:08,171
I mean, no.
917
00:57:08,591 --> 00:57:09,836
Another time, maybe.
918
00:57:10,092 --> 00:57:11,884
You sure? It's really good here.
919
00:57:13,387 --> 00:57:17,515
Yeah. I'm trying to lose a couple pounds.
Thanks anyways.
920
00:57:18,726 --> 00:57:19,889
Okay.
921
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:38,572
GREG: I am not the kind of person who
likes skinny dipping...
922
00:57:38,913 --> 00:57:42,863
...but I had no choice but to splash around
all day, avoiding people.
923
00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:45,699
MAN (ON PA): Attention, everybody,
the club will be closing in 10 minutes,
924
00:57:45,836 --> 00:57:47,829
so everyone out of the pool.
925
00:57:52,426 --> 00:57:53,541
Rowley!
926
00:57:54,929 --> 00:57:57,052
Wait! I need help!
927
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,217
How can I help you, sir?
928
00:57:59,934 --> 00:58:01,048
Oh...
929
00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:05,266
Could you pass me those?
930
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:07,472
These?
931
00:58:09,819 --> 00:58:10,933
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
932
00:58:13,114 --> 00:58:14,691
(WALK LIKE A MAN PLAYING)
933
00:58:27,878 --> 00:58:29,159
(LAUGHING)
934
00:58:29,296 --> 00:58:30,755
Oh, my gosh!
935
00:58:31,132 --> 00:58:32,756
You loser!
936
00:58:42,810 --> 00:58:44,933
GREG: I'm pretty sure
that was the first and
937
00:58:45,104 --> 00:58:47,262
last time I'll ever go on the high dive.
938
00:58:48,482 --> 00:58:52,646
Unfortunately, with all the
excitement, I forgot about Rodrick.
939
00:58:57,992 --> 00:58:59,106
Rodrick?
940
00:59:01,036 --> 00:59:02,317
Rodrick!
941
00:59:05,833 --> 00:59:06,864
Rodrick!
942
00:59:07,334 --> 00:59:08,414
Ugh!
943
00:59:08,544 --> 00:59:10,335
Why are you hugging me when Mom
944
00:59:10,463 --> 00:59:11,838
isn't here to see it? Get off me!
945
00:59:11,964 --> 00:59:13,043
Where have you been?
946
00:59:13,924 --> 00:59:16,083
GREG: Things might
be getting harder at the country club,
947
00:59:16,343 --> 00:59:18,834
but my fake job
made things much easier with Dad.
948
00:59:19,180 --> 00:59:20,460
Oh, brother.
949
00:59:22,224 --> 00:59:25,973
Daddy, can you make my hiccups hic down?
950
00:59:26,228 --> 00:59:28,517
I have to pick up Manny from his play date.
951
00:59:28,689 --> 00:59:31,014
We'll have dinner when I get back.
952
00:59:37,698 --> 00:59:38,813
Dad?
953
00:59:41,202 --> 00:59:42,233
FRANK: Oh, no.
954
00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:45,822
I'm already in enough trouble.
955
00:59:46,874 --> 00:59:49,032
If that dog does anything to Tingy...
956
00:59:49,376 --> 00:59:50,657
Slow.
957
00:59:52,046 --> 00:59:53,160
Go.
958
01:00:03,057 --> 01:00:05,382
Good Sweetie.
959
01:00:06,227 --> 01:00:08,682
Who's a good boy?
960
01:00:10,064 --> 01:00:13,018
Who's going to give Tingy to Daddy?
961
01:00:13,567 --> 01:00:15,192
You are.
962
01:00:16,445 --> 01:00:17,726
You are!
963
01:00:18,906 --> 01:00:20,697
Come on, come on!
964
01:00:21,116 --> 01:00:22,908
Go that way, go that way!
965
01:00:31,919 --> 01:00:33,199
(WHISTLING)
966
01:00:41,637 --> 01:00:43,048
I have an idea.
967
01:00:47,768 --> 01:00:48,799
Here, Sweetie.
968
01:00:49,103 --> 01:00:51,392
Good idea. Good thinking!
969
01:00:54,817 --> 01:00:55,848
Oh, good.
970
01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:57,064
Come on, Sweetie.
971
01:00:57,278 --> 01:00:59,401
Good, good, good, good.
972
01:01:01,282 --> 01:01:02,313
Ha!
973
01:01:02,449 --> 01:01:03,730
I got it!
974
01:01:04,118 --> 01:01:05,398
Don't let him have that.
975
01:01:06,537 --> 01:01:07,616
GREG: Sweetie!
976
01:01:07,788 --> 01:01:09,994
Don't let him have that! Don't eat that!
977
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:17,042
Oh.
978
01:01:29,643 --> 01:01:32,099
Is that... dog spit?
979
01:01:32,563 --> 01:01:35,350
How could there be so much?
980
01:01:37,234 --> 01:01:38,265
- Susan!
- Mom!
981
01:01:38,485 --> 01:01:41,854
You go clean the house.
I'll clean the roast! Go!
982
01:01:49,663 --> 01:01:51,870
You boys barely touched your pot roast.
983
01:01:52,666 --> 01:01:55,288
Are you kidding? I'm stuffed.
984
01:01:55,586 --> 01:01:57,543
I filled up on vegetables.
985
01:01:57,838 --> 01:01:59,463
RODRICK: More for us, then.
986
01:02:01,508 --> 01:02:02,707
(EXCLAIMS)
987
01:02:02,843 --> 01:02:05,714
I don't know what you did different...
988
01:02:06,013 --> 01:02:09,797
...but this pot roast is unbelievable.
989
01:02:12,186 --> 01:02:13,466
Chef's secret.
990
01:02:16,023 --> 01:02:17,138
RODRICK: Great.
991
01:02:17,441 --> 01:02:18,721
And juicier!
992
01:02:32,206 --> 01:02:33,486
RECEPTIONIST: And you are?
993
01:02:38,712 --> 01:02:40,337
I'm Roland Gropper.
994
01:02:40,714 --> 01:02:42,090
Have a nice day, Roland.
995
01:02:44,802 --> 01:02:46,426
Okay, you told one lie.
996
01:02:47,054 --> 01:02:50,257
I can accept that.
But this is getting out of control.
997
01:02:50,391 --> 01:02:51,671
I think you have a lying problem.
998
01:02:51,976 --> 01:02:56,269
I didn't lie about coming to the club today!
We didn't even talk today.
999
01:02:56,897 --> 01:03:00,348
And how do you
keep getting in here without me?
1000
01:03:00,734 --> 01:03:02,526
Wait. You're not a member?
1001
01:03:02,820 --> 01:03:04,859
Anyone want a smoothie?
1002
01:03:05,322 --> 01:03:08,608
I don't care whether you're a member...
but why sneak in?
1003
01:03:11,161 --> 01:03:13,201
I wanted to hang out with you.
1004
01:03:13,497 --> 01:03:16,202
I gave you my phone number.
Why not just call me?
1005
01:03:16,500 --> 01:03:19,121
I tried, but I only had
half the number, and...
1006
01:03:19,420 --> 01:03:22,041
I'm freaking out!
The D.J. for my Sweet Sixteen canceled...
1007
01:03:22,339 --> 01:03:25,791
...so he can fly to Africa
to help build a hospital. What a jerk!
1008
01:03:26,093 --> 01:03:28,465
Now what do I do for music? Whistle?
1009
01:03:29,179 --> 01:03:30,211
What about live music?
1010
01:03:31,682 --> 01:03:33,141
Do you know the band Löded Diper?
1011
01:03:33,934 --> 01:03:35,215
Ew. That's a gross name.
1012
01:03:35,519 --> 01:03:37,310
Live music would be really cool!
1013
01:03:37,438 --> 01:03:40,308
You'd be the first at our
school to have a real band.
1014
01:03:41,358 --> 01:03:42,473
That's true.
1015
01:03:42,776 --> 01:03:45,813
They're just
coming off a world tour and are in town.
1016
01:03:46,113 --> 01:03:48,485
I could get them to come as a favor for me.
1017
01:03:48,782 --> 01:03:50,063
What kind of music do they play?
1018
01:03:50,367 --> 01:03:52,739
Anything! They can play anything.
1019
01:04:03,547 --> 01:04:04,578
Hey!
1020
01:04:05,299 --> 01:04:06,330
Where were you?
1021
01:04:06,550 --> 01:04:09,337
Rodrick, you are going to owe
me the rest of your life.
1022
01:04:10,137 --> 01:04:12,924
I got Löded Diper a gig...
1023
01:04:13,307 --> 01:04:16,012
...playing at Heather Hills' Sweet Sixteen.
1024
01:04:17,311 --> 01:04:18,425
Really?
1025
01:04:18,896 --> 01:04:19,975
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1026
01:04:20,814 --> 01:04:22,190
(SNIFFLING)
1027
01:04:35,829 --> 01:04:37,786
Löded Diper activate.
1028
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,542
- You have her favorite song.
- Song, check.
1029
01:04:41,835 --> 01:04:43,460
- She wants you in tuxes.
- Tuxes, check.
1030
01:04:43,754 --> 01:04:45,201
You're ignoring
everything I'm saying, aren't you?
1031
01:04:45,297 --> 01:04:46,412
Ignoring you, check.
1032
01:04:46,673 --> 01:04:50,541
Don't worry, little bro.
It's going to be a good show. The best.
1033
01:04:55,766 --> 01:04:59,716
Rowley! What are you doing next week?
Löded Diper needs roadies!
1034
01:05:00,020 --> 01:05:02,143
How can you
stand to be near me when I lied?
1035
01:05:02,773 --> 01:05:04,053
- What?
- I'm a liar.
1036
01:05:04,358 --> 01:05:06,647
You can never trust me again.
1037
01:05:06,777 --> 01:05:08,734
The sacred bond of our
friendship is broken.
1038
01:05:09,029 --> 01:05:12,730
Rowley, I get it.
You didn't want to hurt my feelings.
1039
01:05:14,034 --> 01:05:17,237
And I didn't mean to
get you in trouble with the Cranium Shaker.
1040
01:05:17,704 --> 01:05:19,163
That's all right.
1041
01:05:19,540 --> 01:05:23,668
It was actually pretty fun.
Now we can say we've really lived.
1042
01:05:23,961 --> 01:05:26,416
So what about the gig?
1043
01:05:26,713 --> 01:05:28,172
I've always wanted to be a roadie!
1044
01:05:36,390 --> 01:05:38,181
Rise and shine, buddy!
1045
01:05:38,892 --> 01:05:40,684
Don't want to be late for work.
1046
01:05:40,978 --> 01:05:44,347
I'll drop you off at
the way to the office, okay?
1047
01:05:45,149 --> 01:05:47,188
GREG: Now Holly knows I'm not a member,
1048
01:05:47,359 --> 01:05:49,435
there's no reason
to sneak into the country club.
1049
01:05:49,736 --> 01:05:51,776
But if my dad finds out I don't really have
1050
01:05:51,947 --> 01:05:54,023
a job, my life won't be worth living.
1051
01:05:54,408 --> 01:05:55,522
Thanks, Dad.
1052
01:05:59,413 --> 01:06:02,829
I'm even
considering telling him I got downsized.
1053
01:06:02,958 --> 01:06:04,073
FRANK: Hey.
1054
01:06:06,587 --> 01:06:08,378
GREG: But I don't think he'll like it.
1055
01:06:09,089 --> 01:06:10,880
The thing is, I'm using...
1056
01:06:11,175 --> 01:06:14,460
...so many identities,
I'm having trouble keeping track of them.
1057
01:06:14,761 --> 01:06:16,719
MR. JEFFERSON:
This bill is five times the normal amount.
1058
01:06:17,097 --> 01:06:18,378
I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson,
1059
01:06:18,557 --> 01:06:22,056
but your son has been
ordering a lot of smoothies this month.
1060
01:06:22,436 --> 01:06:24,227
There he is now.
1061
01:06:24,855 --> 01:06:26,135
That is not my son.
1062
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:28,064
Of course. That's Roland Gropper.
1063
01:06:28,358 --> 01:06:29,639
Good morning, Arthur!
1064
01:06:29,943 --> 01:06:31,224
Hey, Rowley!
1065
01:06:31,612 --> 01:06:34,399
Rowley! My man! What's up?
1066
01:06:36,783 --> 01:06:39,072
Hey! You forgot your sunblock.
1067
01:06:40,621 --> 01:06:41,652
Frank Heffley.
1068
01:06:42,956 --> 01:06:45,578
Your son racked up
a lot of charges on my account.
1069
01:06:45,876 --> 01:06:48,165
What? He works here. Tell him.
1070
01:06:48,462 --> 01:06:51,997
There must be some mistake.
We don't employ minors.
1071
01:07:02,893 --> 01:07:04,268
(QUIETLY) Do you not work here?
1072
01:07:07,314 --> 01:07:08,773
Maybe not.
1073
01:07:09,066 --> 01:07:10,145
(SIGHS)
1074
01:07:30,504 --> 01:07:33,955
$260 worth of smoothies?
What were you thinking?
1075
01:07:35,175 --> 01:07:37,796
I didn't know
you get charged for what you order.
1076
01:07:42,683 --> 01:07:43,714
I'll pay.
1077
01:07:44,017 --> 01:07:45,048
Very good, sir.
1078
01:08:04,788 --> 01:08:08,655
Aren't you going to yell at me?
Aren't you mad?
1079
01:08:11,211 --> 01:08:12,326
No.
1080
01:08:14,381 --> 01:08:16,670
I'm just disappointed.
1081
01:08:24,224 --> 01:08:25,505
(SIGHS) We've got some serious trouble.
1082
01:08:25,767 --> 01:08:27,724
Not you. Me.
1083
01:08:28,061 --> 01:08:29,342
Yeah, mostly you.
1084
01:08:29,730 --> 01:08:31,687
Look what I found in the mail.
1085
01:08:39,239 --> 01:08:41,113
NARRATOR ON VIDEO: Welcome,
prospective parents,
1086
01:08:41,241 --> 01:08:43,399
to Spag Union Preparatory School.
1087
01:08:43,785 --> 01:08:47,569
Through these gates is a world in which
your boy will learn to thrive.
1088
01:08:47,914 --> 01:08:51,746
Here we will impress upon him our
three cornerstones to success:
1089
01:08:52,085 --> 01:08:56,546
Intensive study, physical exercise,
and, of course, discipline.
1090
01:08:57,257 --> 01:08:58,538
STUDENT 1: I used to play video games.
1091
01:08:59,426 --> 01:09:02,925
I was playing all the time...
sometimes two hours a day.
1092
01:09:03,263 --> 01:09:06,549
I'd lie to my parents
and tell them I was studying when...
1093
01:09:06,933 --> 01:09:10,267
...really, I'd sneak to the
mall to hang out with my friends.
1094
01:09:10,604 --> 01:09:13,391
My parents sent me to Spag Union.
1095
01:09:13,774 --> 01:09:15,600
My parents sent me to Spag Union.
1096
01:09:15,984 --> 01:09:18,440
I don't waste my time
with video games anymore.
1097
01:09:18,779 --> 01:09:20,652
Spag Union taught me there's more
1098
01:09:20,822 --> 01:09:22,731
adventure to be found in a good book.
1099
01:09:24,451 --> 01:09:25,649
(BOTH GASPING)
1100
01:09:25,827 --> 01:09:27,217
STUDENT 2: I don't lie
about where I am anymore.
1101
01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:29,990
Thanks to Spag Union
1102
01:09:30,123 --> 01:09:33,290
and the tracking
device around my ankle, my parents know...
1103
01:09:33,627 --> 01:09:35,251
... where I am 24/7.
1104
01:09:35,504 --> 01:09:37,911
NARRATOR: Spag Union,
turning irresponsible
1105
01:09:38,090 --> 01:09:40,462
little boys into men since 1925.
1106
01:09:40,801 --> 01:09:42,425
ALL: Spag Union!
1107
01:09:43,011 --> 01:09:44,589
They're going to send you there.
1108
01:09:45,180 --> 01:09:46,805
I really messed up.
1109
01:09:47,682 --> 01:09:48,762
What do I do?
1110
01:09:49,684 --> 01:09:50,764
Wilderness weekend!
1111
01:09:50,936 --> 01:09:54,269
You have 48 hours to
prove to Dad you don't need Spag Union.
1112
01:09:54,856 --> 01:09:55,936
How?
1113
01:09:56,817 --> 01:10:00,945
By being the all-time
best Wilderness Explorer there ever was.
1114
01:10:04,324 --> 01:10:07,942
You can't go to Spag Union!
I don't want to go to school without you!
1115
01:10:08,995 --> 01:10:10,953
It's not really my choice.
1116
01:10:11,415 --> 01:10:16,622
Hello to the end
of the beginning of it all
1117
01:10:17,254 --> 01:10:22,129
Summer takes a fall
It's winner take it all
1118
01:10:22,968 --> 01:10:27,511
And if you are not understood
I understand
1119
01:10:31,226 --> 01:10:36,433
Goodbye to the days that
we filled with make believe
1120
01:10:37,107 --> 01:10:41,983
As far as we could see
Possibility
1121
01:10:42,654 --> 01:10:46,983
We dreamed of all the things
we thought we'd
1122
01:10:47,659 --> 01:10:50,660
Never do.
1123
01:10:56,042 --> 01:10:58,664
FRANK: You got it? Is it solid?
1124
01:10:59,254 --> 01:11:00,285
Yes, sir!
1125
01:11:02,257 --> 01:11:03,288
"Sir"?
1126
01:11:12,225 --> 01:11:13,719
STAN: What are you doing?
1127
01:11:14,561 --> 01:11:16,352
This is where my troops set up!
1128
01:11:16,605 --> 01:11:19,226
Come on, Stan. There's
plenty of good sites.
1129
01:11:19,566 --> 01:11:22,353
Give me a break. You don't know the
first thing about camping.
1130
01:11:22,736 --> 01:11:24,942
BARRETT: You know the rules,
Stan. Whoever gets
1131
01:11:25,113 --> 01:11:27,355
here first gets the pick of the campsites.
1132
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:31,067
The best way to
lay claim to a camp is to put tents on it.
1133
01:11:32,162 --> 01:11:33,276
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
1134
01:11:33,413 --> 01:11:35,702
Explorers! Install camp!
1135
01:11:36,249 --> 01:11:37,874
FRANK: Hey, wait. Wait!
1136
01:11:38,627 --> 01:11:41,248
Here, come on, come on, come on!
1137
01:11:41,755 --> 01:11:42,869
Hold it up!
1138
01:11:43,131 --> 01:11:44,162
- Put it on!
- I'm trying!
1139
01:11:44,424 --> 01:11:45,883
Not here, over there!
1140
01:11:51,598 --> 01:11:53,555
Move! Get the front!
1141
01:11:55,101 --> 01:11:56,133
(GRUNTING)
1142
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:16,953
STAN: Sorry, Frank.
Doesn't look like there's any room...
1143
01:12:17,290 --> 01:12:21,288
...for troops here,
but there's still plenty of good sites.
1144
01:12:24,297 --> 01:12:29,090
Yeah, it's mighty convenient
being so close to the bathrooms.
1145
01:12:39,354 --> 01:12:42,106
You all know the story
of the muddy hand, don't you?
1146
01:12:43,483 --> 01:12:46,270
It was a dark and stormy
night, like this one.
1147
01:12:46,653 --> 01:12:47,933
It is not stormy.
1148
01:12:48,196 --> 01:12:51,945
In these very woods,
an old woodsman, a kindly soul...
1149
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:53,992
...was chopping wood in the rain for
1150
01:12:54,160 --> 01:12:55,987
a group of Wilderness Explorers.
1151
01:12:56,454 --> 01:12:57,486
So what happened?
1152
01:12:57,622 --> 01:12:58,701
FREGLEY: Nothing.
1153
01:12:58,832 --> 01:13:00,326
If you consider the old woodsman
1154
01:13:00,458 --> 01:13:02,665
chopping off his own hand was nothing!
1155
01:13:03,378 --> 01:13:04,956
Didn't the Wilderness Explorers help him?
1156
01:13:05,088 --> 01:13:06,119
FREGLEY: No.
1157
01:13:06,256 --> 01:13:08,213
They got scared and ran away.
1158
01:13:08,383 --> 01:13:09,462
Why would they do that?
1159
01:13:09,718 --> 01:13:12,006
Back at camp, the boys got to talking.
1160
01:13:12,679 --> 01:13:15,549
They decided that
they should have helped the old woodsman
1161
01:13:15,682 --> 01:13:17,306
because he was helping them.
1162
01:13:17,684 --> 01:13:21,516
But when they got
back to his cottage, his body was gone!
1163
01:13:21,896 --> 01:13:22,928
Gone?
1164
01:13:23,064 --> 01:13:24,689
All that was left...
1165
01:13:25,025 --> 01:13:26,649
...was his hand!
1166
01:13:26,901 --> 01:13:28,645
I don't like this story.
1167
01:13:29,029 --> 01:13:32,813
Not one of those boys was ever seen again.
1168
01:13:33,199 --> 01:13:35,406
The only clue to what happened was
1169
01:13:35,577 --> 01:13:37,819
a muddy handprint on the side of the tent.
1170
01:13:38,705 --> 01:13:40,532
They say the muddy hand
is still out there...
1171
01:13:41,541 --> 01:13:44,210
...looking for more Wilderness Explorers...
1172
01:13:45,211 --> 01:13:46,243
...and...
1173
01:13:46,671 --> 01:13:48,000
...revenge!
1174
01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:51,330
I don't buy it.
1175
01:13:51,885 --> 01:13:53,842
How can a hand move by itself?
1176
01:13:54,054 --> 01:13:56,093
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
(EXPLORERS SCREAMING)
1177
01:13:57,515 --> 01:13:58,547
(LAUGHING)
1178
01:13:58,933 --> 01:14:02,219
BARRETT: I remember
"The Muddy Hand" from when I was a boy.
1179
01:14:02,562 --> 01:14:05,183
You can't beat the classics.
1180
01:14:05,565 --> 01:14:08,519
Okay! Bedtime, everyone.
1181
01:14:17,702 --> 01:14:18,983
Muddy hand!
1182
01:14:19,245 --> 01:14:20,360
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
1183
01:14:20,872 --> 01:14:22,152
Why'd you do that?
1184
01:14:22,457 --> 01:14:24,865
- Do what?
- Hit me in the hand with a mallet!
1185
01:14:25,210 --> 01:14:28,329
- Me?
- Yeah, you, with the mallet in your hand!
1186
01:14:30,215 --> 01:14:32,373
I can't stop making you mad at me.
1187
01:14:33,051 --> 01:14:34,331
If you... (SIGHS)
1188
01:14:38,390 --> 01:14:39,848
Why am I mad?
1189
01:14:41,101 --> 01:14:42,844
Because I keep messing up.
1190
01:14:44,229 --> 01:14:48,013
Look, everybody messes up. Even me.
1191
01:14:50,235 --> 01:14:52,856
But I'm not afraid to admit it when I do.
1192
01:14:57,075 --> 01:14:59,032
Just go to sleep.
1193
01:15:25,770 --> 01:15:28,142
FREGLEY: I hear
at Spag Union, you have to call
1194
01:15:28,314 --> 01:15:30,722
the teachers "sir", even the ladies!
1195
01:15:35,321 --> 01:15:36,946
WARREN BOY: Did you see their tents?
1196
01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:41,190
They weren't even arranged in formation!
What a bunch of losers.
1197
01:15:41,619 --> 01:15:45,403
Come on, son.
A troop is only as good as its leader.
1198
01:15:45,790 --> 01:15:49,290
Any troop that would let Frank
Heffley be Assistant Troop Master
1199
01:15:49,419 --> 01:15:50,450
is bound to be weak.
1200
01:15:51,504 --> 01:15:53,129
There are two types of people in the world.
1201
01:15:53,798 --> 01:15:54,829
Predators...
1202
01:15:55,133 --> 01:15:56,413
...and prey.
1203
01:15:56,968 --> 01:15:59,922
Frank Heffley is a wounded gazelle.
1204
01:16:03,475 --> 01:16:05,763
I'll show them what Heffleys can do.
1205
01:16:06,019 --> 01:16:09,602
Don't make things worse.
You'll end up at Spag Union for sure.
1206
01:16:09,856 --> 01:16:13,474
Only if we get caught. And I have a plan.
1207
01:16:17,655 --> 01:16:19,613
This is campsite 42.
1208
01:16:19,991 --> 01:16:21,616
This "X" is Stan Warren's tent.
1209
01:16:21,993 --> 01:16:23,736
We wait till they're not looking and
1210
01:16:23,912 --> 01:16:25,655
weave a web between these trees.
1211
01:16:25,997 --> 01:16:27,954
Then we make the web super-sticky.
1212
01:16:28,333 --> 01:16:32,282
Then we get some
ants and put them in their sleeping bags.
1213
01:16:32,670 --> 01:16:34,330
When they get into their bunks,
1214
01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:36,166
the ants will drive them crazy!
1215
01:16:36,508 --> 01:16:38,749
They'll come running out and get stuck in
1216
01:16:38,927 --> 01:16:41,168
the web like flies. Revenge will be ours.
1217
01:16:47,227 --> 01:16:48,341
What are you doing?
1218
01:16:48,686 --> 01:16:51,640
I've been ensnared by my own handiwork.
1219
01:16:53,691 --> 01:16:54,854
(GROANING)
1220
01:16:58,071 --> 01:16:59,102
Here are the ants.
1221
01:16:59,364 --> 01:17:01,191
I'll signal you if anything happens.
1222
01:17:01,699 --> 01:17:03,324
Hoot-hoot! Hoot-hoot!
1223
01:17:03,701 --> 01:17:04,982
Come on.
1224
01:17:26,891 --> 01:17:29,429
A refrigerator? Ready-made meals?
1225
01:17:30,228 --> 01:17:31,259
(GASPS) A TV?
1226
01:17:32,397 --> 01:17:34,021
This isn't camping!
1227
01:17:34,399 --> 01:17:36,687
Hoot-hoot! Hoot-hoot!
1228
01:17:45,159 --> 01:17:47,117
Good-bye, Gregory. You will always
1229
01:17:47,328 --> 01:17:49,285
be remembered for your bravery.
1230
01:17:53,668 --> 01:17:54,783
(STAN SIGHS)
1231
01:17:55,587 --> 01:17:57,211
Raccoons.
1232
01:17:57,630 --> 01:17:58,661
Hmm.
1233
01:17:59,591 --> 01:18:00,871
Okay.
1234
01:18:01,426 --> 01:18:03,217
Where are you? (LAUGHS)
1235
01:18:04,429 --> 01:18:05,887
Hey, little guy!
1236
01:18:06,180 --> 01:18:08,885
Daddy needs a new fur hat!
1237
01:18:09,100 --> 01:18:10,380
(EXCLAIMING IN DISTRESS)
1238
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:11,888
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
1239
01:18:13,438 --> 01:18:14,636
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1240
01:18:15,857 --> 01:18:17,399
Who's there? Show yourself!
1241
01:18:25,658 --> 01:18:26,689
STAN'S TROOP: Whoa!
BOYS: Ahh!
1242
01:18:26,826 --> 01:18:28,154
Ahh! No!
1243
01:18:31,039 --> 01:18:33,577
Someone from your troop
violated our campsite.
1244
01:18:33,958 --> 01:18:36,081
That was a thousand dollar tent!
1245
01:18:38,796 --> 01:18:40,919
Okay, what happened?
1246
01:18:48,973 --> 01:18:50,004
I did it.
1247
01:18:50,183 --> 01:18:51,463
ROWLEY: Greg, no!
1248
01:18:52,477 --> 01:18:53,591
Dad.
1249
01:18:54,312 --> 01:18:55,936
It was my idea.
1250
01:18:56,731 --> 01:18:59,352
I can't let them take the fall for me.
1251
01:19:00,735 --> 01:19:02,692
We didn't mean to burn up the tent.
1252
01:19:03,321 --> 01:19:04,601
GREG: No, but...
1253
01:19:04,906 --> 01:19:06,186
...we did.
1254
01:19:09,994 --> 01:19:12,201
Greg was only defending your honor!
1255
01:19:12,497 --> 01:19:14,288
Mr. Warren disrespected you.
1256
01:19:14,582 --> 01:19:16,705
FREGLEY: He called you a wounded gazelle.
1257
01:19:17,001 --> 01:19:18,412
Your boy should be expelled.
1258
01:19:18,544 --> 01:19:21,118
He's a disgrace to
every Wilderness Explorer...
1259
01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:24,293
Shut up, Stan! Just shut up!
1260
01:19:26,010 --> 01:19:27,635
Hey, what is that?
1261
01:19:29,847 --> 01:19:32,220
A store-bought s'mores maker?
1262
01:19:32,517 --> 01:19:33,715
A TV?
1263
01:19:34,018 --> 01:19:35,643
Pre-tied knots?
1264
01:19:36,354 --> 01:19:37,978
Stan, you're a phony!
1265
01:19:38,272 --> 01:19:39,980
So much for the big camper.
1266
01:19:40,274 --> 01:19:43,560
I'm going to report this
to the Wilderness Committee.
1267
01:19:43,861 --> 01:19:46,815
We'll see who looks ridiculous then, huh?
1268
01:19:46,948 --> 01:19:48,193
(GROANING)
1269
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:50,398
GREG: From what I hear,
1270
01:19:50,535 --> 01:19:52,243
Mr. Warren was completely abandoned
1271
01:19:52,453 --> 01:19:54,161
by his Wilderness Explorer troop.
1272
01:19:55,540 --> 01:19:59,324
These days, he runs a badminton
league for kindergarteners.
1273
01:20:02,880 --> 01:20:04,505
Let's get out of here.
1274
01:20:07,719 --> 01:20:09,676
FRANK: I have a confession to make.
1275
01:20:10,054 --> 01:20:11,679
I hate camping.
1276
01:20:13,224 --> 01:20:17,008
I don't understand
what's so great about sleeping in a bag.
1277
01:20:17,311 --> 01:20:19,019
Like being in a bag isn't bad enough,
1278
01:20:19,188 --> 01:20:20,932
you have to lie in the dirt, too!
1279
01:20:21,232 --> 01:20:22,857
I know. It's crazy!
1280
01:20:23,151 --> 01:20:24,431
Beds were invented for a reason.
1281
01:20:24,736 --> 01:20:28,685
Yeah. And roofs. And walls. And bathrooms.
1282
01:20:29,407 --> 01:20:31,530
Pizza delivery places.
1283
01:20:38,082 --> 01:20:39,363
Hey, look at me.
1284
01:20:43,004 --> 01:20:45,043
I'm not sending you to Spag Union.
1285
01:20:47,925 --> 01:20:50,381
You know what my grandpa used to say?
1286
01:20:54,682 --> 01:20:57,303
"A man who never made a mistake..."
1287
01:20:57,935 --> 01:20:59,727
"...never made anything."
1288
01:21:01,773 --> 01:21:03,231
The trick is...
1289
01:21:03,524 --> 01:21:06,062
...to be responsible and
learn from your mistakes.
1290
01:21:07,612 --> 01:21:09,569
And you can do that.
1291
01:21:10,615 --> 01:21:12,987
You're a really great kid, Greg.
1292
01:21:14,786 --> 01:21:18,914
And I'm not just
saying that because we're a lot alike.
1293
01:21:24,128 --> 01:21:26,121
FEMALE ANCHOR (ON TV):
Comic strip fans all over the country are
1294
01:21:26,297 --> 01:21:28,337
rejoicing at the news that the beloved...
1295
01:21:28,633 --> 01:21:30,424
...Li'l Cutie will continue.
1296
01:21:30,718 --> 01:21:34,087
The son of cartoonist Bob Post
is taking over for his father...
1297
01:21:34,472 --> 01:21:35,847
...and says he is looking forward to
1298
01:21:36,057 --> 01:21:37,468
continuing Li'l Cutie's adventures
1299
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:39,391
for generations to come.
1300
01:21:39,727 --> 01:21:41,387
It can't be happening!
1301
01:21:41,562 --> 01:21:43,270
We'll never get rid of that garbage!
1302
01:21:43,981 --> 01:21:46,270
Oh, golly.
1303
01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:48,608
GREG: I have to say, I didn't expect
1304
01:21:48,778 --> 01:21:50,770
the Wilderness weekend
to work out so well.
1305
01:21:51,155 --> 01:21:53,611
Now all I have to worry about is
getting through Löded Diper's gig
1306
01:21:53,741 --> 01:21:55,781
without looking like an idiot.
1307
01:21:55,910 --> 01:21:57,108
(BRAYING)
1308
01:21:57,703 --> 01:21:59,114
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
1309
01:22:03,918 --> 01:22:05,198
You're on in 30 minutes.
1310
01:22:05,503 --> 01:22:07,626
Relax! My brother was working on
1311
01:22:07,797 --> 01:22:09,955
the pyrotechnics all day,
it's gonna kick butt.
1312
01:22:10,258 --> 01:22:12,630
Wait. What does your brother do?
1313
01:22:12,927 --> 01:22:14,207
He's a demolition expert.
1314
01:22:14,512 --> 01:22:19,138
Leave the rocking to us, okay?
It's what we do.
1315
01:22:19,433 --> 01:22:20,714
Now get to work, roadies.
1316
01:22:26,023 --> 01:22:28,561
GREG: Wow. Is that
supposed to be Heather?
1317
01:22:30,069 --> 01:22:31,100
Weird.
1318
01:22:31,529 --> 01:22:33,153
This is amazing!
1319
01:22:34,198 --> 01:22:36,321
There's even a chocolate fountain!
1320
01:22:40,454 --> 01:22:43,076
What are you doing? You two are roadies.
1321
01:22:43,624 --> 01:22:47,574
Which means you're employees.
No chocolate fountain for employees.
1322
01:22:48,212 --> 01:22:49,588
These guys are my friends.
1323
01:22:49,881 --> 01:22:51,161
Wow, Holly.
1324
01:22:51,716 --> 01:22:55,001
Wow. You've managed to
take my Sweet Sixteen...
1325
01:22:55,386 --> 01:22:57,011
...and make it all about you.
1326
01:22:57,471 --> 01:22:58,503
So selfish!
1327
01:22:58,639 --> 01:22:59,718
So selfish!
1328
01:23:00,892 --> 01:23:02,931
Listen, midgets, the only reason you're
1329
01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:05,183
here is 'cause I was forced to invite you.
1330
01:23:05,563 --> 01:23:08,184
So stay out of my eye-line! ¿Comprende?
1331
01:23:12,486 --> 01:23:13,601
She's into drama.
1332
01:23:13,905 --> 01:23:15,612
She's like Rodrick in a dress!
1333
01:23:17,408 --> 01:23:19,365
Is your brother's band all set up?
1334
01:23:20,077 --> 01:23:22,366
I'm really looking forward
to their performance.
1335
01:23:31,339 --> 01:23:32,881
It was your grandmother's.
1336
01:23:33,174 --> 01:23:35,131
So it's, like, used?
1337
01:23:38,763 --> 01:23:39,794
RODRICK: Ben!
1338
01:23:40,097 --> 01:23:42,339
I need to make
a love connection with Heather.
1339
01:23:42,516 --> 01:23:44,805
I want to sing lead vocals.
1340
01:23:45,186 --> 01:23:47,392
But I don't know how to play drums.
1341
01:23:47,688 --> 01:23:50,974
Dude, two words, fast and loud.
1342
01:23:51,275 --> 01:23:53,067
Especially loud.
1343
01:23:55,446 --> 01:23:59,064
Oh my signal, press that red button, okay?
1344
01:24:00,618 --> 01:24:02,409
Shoo! Move, move!
1345
01:24:04,622 --> 01:24:08,240
This song goes out
to a very special little lady.
1346
01:24:08,793 --> 01:24:10,417
Heather Hills...
1347
01:24:10,878 --> 01:24:12,159
...this one's for you.
1348
01:24:15,049 --> 01:24:18,085
Why aren't they in tuxes?
They were supposed to wear tuxes!
1349
01:24:18,219 --> 01:24:19,678
(BAND PLAYING BABY)
1350
01:24:19,804 --> 01:24:21,843
(SINGING) Ohh, ahh
1351
01:24:23,557 --> 01:24:25,349
Ohh, ahh
1352
01:24:25,476 --> 01:24:27,267
It's her favorite song.
1353
01:24:27,395 --> 01:24:29,933
Ohh, ahh, ohh
1354
01:24:31,774 --> 01:24:34,894
You know you love me
I know you care
1355
01:24:35,278 --> 01:24:38,195
Just shout whenever
And I'll be there
1356
01:24:39,073 --> 01:24:42,109
You want my love
You want my heart
1357
01:24:42,910 --> 01:24:46,030
We will never, ever, ever
be apart
1358
01:24:46,163 --> 01:24:50,031
And now it's like
Baby, baby, baby, oh
1359
01:24:50,251 --> 01:24:53,702
Like baby, baby, baby, no
1360
01:24:53,838 --> 01:24:57,586
Baby, baby, baby, oh
1361
01:24:58,092 --> 01:25:01,425
I thought you'd always be mine
1362
01:25:04,015 --> 01:25:07,134
I need to dazzle her.
Crank it up Full Diper!
1363
01:25:07,518 --> 01:25:08,549
Hit that button!
1364
01:25:09,353 --> 01:25:10,895
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1365
01:25:11,105 --> 01:25:12,647
Baby, baby, baby, oh
1366
01:25:12,773 --> 01:25:15,229
Like, baby, baby, baby, no
1367
01:25:15,526 --> 01:25:18,480
Like, baby, baby, baby, oh
1368
01:25:18,612 --> 01:25:20,854
I thought you'd always be mine
1369
01:25:21,198 --> 01:25:24,069
Whoo! For you
I would have done whatever
1370
01:25:24,201 --> 01:25:27,451
I just can't believe
we ain't together
1371
01:25:27,580 --> 01:25:30,331
I want to play it cool
But I'm losing you
1372
01:25:30,458 --> 01:25:33,375
I'll buy you anything
I'll buy you any ring
1373
01:25:33,502 --> 01:25:36,337
I'm in pieces Baby, fix me
1374
01:25:36,464 --> 01:25:39,299
Shake me till you wake me
From this bad dream
1375
01:25:39,425 --> 01:25:42,841
I'm going down, down,
down, down, down
1376
01:25:42,970 --> 01:25:45,508
I just can't believe
Heather Hills won't be around
1377
01:25:45,639 --> 01:25:48,510
Baby, baby, baby, oh
1378
01:25:48,642 --> 01:25:51,478
Like, baby, baby, baby, no
1379
01:25:51,604 --> 01:25:54,439
Like, baby, baby, baby, oh
1380
01:25:54,940 --> 01:25:57,431
I thought you would
always be mine
1381
01:25:57,693 --> 01:25:58,772
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1382
01:26:00,905 --> 01:26:02,185
No. No!
1383
01:26:04,075 --> 01:26:05,699
I'm going to kill you!
1384
01:26:05,826 --> 01:26:06,905
(YELPS)
(GROWLS)
1385
01:26:11,040 --> 01:26:12,664
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1386
01:26:28,265 --> 01:26:30,721
So, Heather... you're a pretty cool chick.
1387
01:26:31,352 --> 01:26:34,555
Maybe I could
call you next week and we could hang?
1388
01:26:46,617 --> 01:26:48,076
Go for it.
1389
01:26:54,792 --> 01:26:56,072
I'm really sorry.
1390
01:26:57,044 --> 01:26:59,416
Don't be. This is awesome!
1391
01:27:00,464 --> 01:27:02,920
She wanted people to
remember her Sweet Sixteen.
1392
01:27:04,969 --> 01:27:07,341
People will definitely remember this.
1393
01:27:20,276 --> 01:27:21,307
GREG: Okay, so...
1394
01:27:21,819 --> 01:27:24,191
...the summer didn't go exactly as planned,
1395
01:27:24,405 --> 01:27:26,777
but in the end, it all worked out okay.
1396
01:27:27,074 --> 01:27:30,525
Rowley and Holly
came to the municipal pool as my guests.
1397
01:27:34,665 --> 01:27:36,040
Hey! Who's hungry?
1398
01:27:44,758 --> 01:27:49,136
GREG: All in all, this might go
down as the best summer ever.
1399
01:27:53,350 --> 01:27:56,312
As for my dad,
we may not see eye to eye on everything...
1400
01:27:56,604 --> 01:27:57,884
...but we work as a team.
1401
01:27:58,189 --> 01:27:59,896
FRANK: Sweetie,
not the roast again!
1402
01:28:00,191 --> 01:28:01,471
GREG: Drop it!
FRANK: Bad dog!
1403
01:28:01,859 --> 01:28:03,270
FRANK: Good dog!
GREG: Good Sweetie!
1404
01:28:03,402 --> 01:28:04,433
(LAUGHING)
1405
01:28:04,570 --> 01:28:05,625
(A LITTLE VACATION PLAYING)
1406
01:28:05,639 --> 01:28:10,225
Thank you for using the subs
regards, shock...
1407
01:29:51,552 --> 01:29:53,509
(DIARY OF A WIMPY KID THEME PLAYING)
1408
01:32:00,514 --> 01:32:02,553
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
100188
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