All language subtitles for Crazy.Ex-Girlfriend.S02E12.HDTV.LOL.en

Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

Does this have something
to do with your dad?

Oh.

You know, my dad is a real jerk, too.

I have plans, Naomi.

You're her father. She loves you.

Are we okay? The answer
doesn't have to be yes.

Good, because the answer is "eh".

Help! We're stuck!

- Just calm down.
- I just can't be stuck in here,

and I cannot be stuck in here with you.

I acted crazy and then there-there was

that rando kiss between us,

- but it's never gonna happen again.
- Whatever you say.

I was wondering if I could pay you

an exorbitant amount of money
to move your wedding date.

When is it? What's the date?

It's in two weeks.

(screams) The wedding is in two weeks.

Rebecca. Two-two weeks is insane.

♪ I'm just a girl in love ♪

♪ La-la-la,
lovey-dove ♪

♪ I can't be held
responsible for my actions ♪

♪ She's an ingenue ♪

♪ I have no underlying
issues to address ♪

♪ I'm certifiably cute
and adorably obsessed ♪

♪ They say love makes you crazy ♪

♪ Therefore, you
can't call her crazy ♪

♪ 'Cause when you call her crazy ♪

♪ You're just calling her in love. ♪

Blam!

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

(exhales)

(doorbell rings)

Oh. Hi, Patrick.

Okay, what do you think of this one?

Now, don't worry about the walking,

'cause I can always shorten the train,

or the length of the aisle.

Um, you know, I think I like
the lacy one from Tuesday better.

Really? The strapless Gone
With The Wind thing? Oh, my God.

I don't know. I wear the
same outfit every single day.

Um, aren't you supposed
to go to a fancy lady store

- to buy a wedding dress?
- Yeah, that's what

you normally do, but this
isn't a normal situation.

I'm getting married in less
than two weeks, Patrick.

Oh, right, because a spot

- opened up at the Malibu place.
- Exactly.

And that's the only reason
that you moved up the wedding?

Because from what you told me,

it seems like you got
locked in an elevator

with your fine boss...

No, no. I never called him fine.

I may have said he's "foine."

In any case,

suddenly, lickety-split,

planning the wedding of my dreams.

And I actually tried to
hire a wedding planner,

but, you know, you try
getting one of those bitches...

And I do mean bitches...

On board with an
11-day planning window.

They're like, "We can't do
that. There's no time for me.

The-the binders."

Well, maybe ask your mom? I mean,

that seems like the normal thing to do.

(laughs)

Help you with your wedding?

Did you help me with my wedding?

No, you just sat in my
uterus giving me heartburn

and making me look like a big fat pig.

Hold for injectables.

But, Mom, your...

Ow! You call that numbing?

Rebecca, I can't come early.

I'm doing a few little
things to my face.

Filling, freezing, lasering,

and by the end of this day,

I'm gonna look like an empanada.

It's gonna take me at
least a week to recover,

so forget it, don't be ridiculous.

I'm not being ridiculous,
I'm trying to be normal.

Normal shmormal. You'll figure it out.

Yeah. She's pretty terrible.

So after that didn't work, I reached out

to my mother from another mother...

(doorbell rings)

Paula. Ugh.

Ah, look, if it isn't the ingenue

beset by tragedy.

Oh. And if it isn't
the plotting understudy,

just waiting in the wings
with a bag of marbles.

Okay, look. We're busy.

We're studying for finals, so...

- Hey, Sunil, stop it.
- (groans)

Hi. Cookie, what's up?

Hey. I was just wondering
if you had any time

to help me with a
couple of wedding things.

- Yes. Absolutely.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Did you not just hear
me say we have finals?

Paula. You were just telling me

how you've stress-chewed
through so many pencils

you're gonna have to
get adult braces again.

You know what? I'm-I'm
sorry I came over.

I didn't mean to worry you.

The wedding planning
is actually almost done.

There's just a couple
of cherry-on-the-sundae,

nutmeg-on-the-latte
things to get done,

but finals are way more important.

So... I will...

nutmeg this wedding latte myself.

So I'm handling it all myself.

I mean, unless you want to help.

Oh. I would,

but I'm the delivery guy, so...

Right, right, right.

Of course. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

This isn't normal. I shouldn't even be

- touching you like that.
- Oh, no. That's cool.

You know what? I will handle this alone.

I mean, plenty of dum-dums

plan perfectly good
weddings all the time.

_

Hey, bridey. How's the planning going?

Great, great. Hey, oh.

Let me show you something; look at this.

Check this out.

I already got 50 "yes" RSVPs.

Four high-target "maybes",
and even the "nos"

have a little
colon-end-parentheses on them.

Um...

- Old school smiley faces.
- Yeah.

So this wedding is on.

- Isn't that exciting?
- Yeah.

Um, your dad didn't
RSVP to your wedding?

Oh, no.

Of course not, no. He
never shows up for anything.

I only invite him to
feel bad about myself.

- Yeah. Smart, mm-hmm. Yeah.
- So anyway,

people are coming,
the wedding is going on

and I'm just planning it all myself,

- which is, uh, what I am doing now.
- Wait.

You're planning the wedding
yourself, like a DIY wedding?

Do I why wedding? Because I love Josh.

No, DIY: Do it yourself.

DIY wedding.

That's... yes, yes.

That is what our wedding will be.

DIY wedding.

Oh, look at these.

In fact, our wedding is
going to be a lot like

this one... Dustin and Sasha

from Halifax, Nova Scotia.

- Oh.
- Our wedding is gonna be

a lot like... uh, almost like...

You know what? Exactly
like their wedding.

DIY makes it so much easier.

It's the opposite.

'Cause all I need to do is pick up

some twinkle lights,

some burlap sacks,

some mason jars, more mason
jars, lotta mason jars.

Wow, they have mason
jars for everything.

For the candles, and cocktails,

and succulents and lightning bugs.

This is great, 'cause all I need to do

is spend a day at a craft
store... my wedding's done.

- Well...
- I love DIY

because it's-it's an
easier, yet completely normal

way to do a wedding, right?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Are you sure? 'Cause it
looks like a lot of work.

Okay. So let's look at their Web site.

Look at that.

They even have a to-do list.

So open source.

Thanks, Dust and Sash.

♪ ♪

(exhales)

Valencia.

Rebecca.

What are you doing with
all that craft stuff?

Um...

Wedding stuff, huh?

Yeah. I'm-I'm doing this whole DOA,

DUI, DIY... thing.

Uh, what are you doing here?

Oh, I make my own candles
so rooms smell like me

even when I'm not in them.

It's basically the only
reason I teach yoga any more,

so I get to use my candles.

Hey. Um...

I know you've probably
gotten all my texts, but...

- I really miss you.
- Don't. I-I can't, please.

♪ ♪

JOSH: Dear God,

I know you're busy with
everything from Afghanistan

to the Zika virus,
but if you have time...

we could really use your
help with our fast breaks.

Oh! And, uh, while I have you,

if you could have Macy's restock
the new Jordan 5's, size ten,

that would be awesome.

Amen. Okay, break.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Hustle, hustle. There we go.

Man. Those kids love you
after just a couple weeks.

You're a natural, Chan.

And I mean that with the kids,

not with basketball, obviously.

What? Okay, that's absurd.

Clearly, you didn't see me
dunking on Jimmy earlier.

- He's 11 and we lowered the hoop.
- Still.

It felt so damn good.

I was like, "I'm five eight" (grunts)

(laughs)

Dude. Thanks for coming in today, man.

Figured you'd be busy with,
like, wedding planning, or...

Oh. Nah, no, no. It's okay. I mean,

Rebecca's handling most of it.

See, one of the reasons
we decided to shorten

the engagement is that she's
so good at wedding stuff,

and loves it.

Yeah. Josh, just make sure this
wedding is happening with you,

and not to you.

Right?

Like that time you walked
around with curtain bangs

for six months because
Valencia thought she might

want to be a hairstylist.

Dude. Um, I'm involved
with this wedding.

Very involved, okay?

Like, I got a ring, I proposed,

I asked you to officiate,

and obviously, I came up with
the hashtag, bunchofchans.

I mean, that's a good-ass hashtag,

so you got me.

- You are on it.
- (laughs)

Huh.

♪ ♪

(bell chimes)

(clears throat)

(bell chimes)

- (clears throat)
- (bell chimes)

I never even wash my hands.

Oh, come on. That's not even a sexy one.

Wow. That looks disgusting.

So I'm gonna assume that it's healthy.

It's my restart button.
It cleanses everything out.

I couldn't find any
place in this stupid town

to make it correctly,
so I made it myself.

It's got spinach,

- Blech. Eh.
- Kale,

cauliflower, Thai mung beans...

(groaning)

Why do you have to cleanse?

I mean, you know, what'd you do?

Gain, like, half a pound?

No. Stop looking at my wrists.

I just don't feel normal

when I'm packing some extra ounces.

Anyway, where is Rebecca?
It's almost 11:00 a.m.,

and still no sign of her yet again.

Uh, well, no. You remember?
She-she called in sick.

She called in, like,
really, totally sick.

Hmm. I don't believe in sick.

Okay. If it's not cancer,
you come to work.

In fact, most cancers are a half day.

Wow. Okay. So that drink
really cheers you up.

Rebecca epitomizes the kind
of laissez-faire attitude

that I haven't been unable
to stamp out around here.

For example, what is that?

Hmm? What is this?

This has got dead skin all over it.

Oh, that's mine.

I have psoriasis.

Come on, people.

We need to tighten the ship.

If my father was to walk in this second,

he would put everyone over his knee

and not do anything... To scare you.

♪ ♪

We need to focus, okay?

And you need to start
acting like normal people.

(loud swallowing)

There was powder at the bottom.

Oh!

You need to call your little friend,

and tell her to come to work now.

(elevator bell dings)

Ugh. Gross.

Paula said you wanted to see me.

I wanted to see you?

(laughing)

No, I wanted you to come in to work,

so I could tell you,

you need to come in to work.

I don't want to see you.

Great. I don't want to see you, either.

I have a super fast
wedding to plan, so...

Yeah. Funny how that happened.

Elevator, kiss, boom, rush to the altar.

(laughs) You think I moved up my
entire wedding just 'cause we kissed?

Don't flatter yourself.
Okay, so we're done here?

We're done. Great.

Well, you're not getting
paid for this week, then!

Coo-Coo-Cool!

Okay. Dustin and Sasha.

Your list's a little
longer than I thought.

But you know what?
It's manageable. It is.

This was in the tray for you.

And there's ten more pages printing.

Oh, boy. Tiny font,

double-sided, no margins.

- Who formatted this?
- Maya, go away. Go away.

- Hi, honey.
- Hey.

Whoa.

Okay, so, check this out!

I got this $200 label
maker today, and...

(gasps)

... look at this!

"Sparkling water from
Joshbecca Mountain."

Okay, so what we're gonna do

is fill that bottle with
homemade bubbly water

that I'm gonna make in that soda maker

that I just bought today, also for $200.

So, uh, this is our wedding.

What do you think?

I think it's great, and, uh,

I-I really appreciate
everything you're doing,

but I have wedding ideas, too, you know.

Oh. Oh, okay. What are they?

Okay, like, like, like, I want
to wear a forest green tux.

That's my favorite color.

Oh, so, Dustin wore a 1930s
high-waisted vintage tux

that had a tear in it

that he patched over
with a piece of gabardine

from his father's wedding suit, so...

I'm sorry. I went online today,
and I got you a vintage tux

with a hole in it, that
I'm gonna patch over

with a swatch from your
father's radiology scrubs.

Then what about my idea
for a Sugar Ray cover band?

- Splenda Ray?
- So funny.

I got your text about that,

but Dus and Sash... They had a jug band

with a guy playing the spoons,

another guy on the washboard,

and there's just a lady who hums.

And so I already went
on Craigslist today

and posted an ad for a hummer.

Um, and I've gotten...
a lot of responses.

Wow. Okay. Uh, so, you don't
like any of my ideas?

No. No, no, no, that's not
it at all. It's just

that we're doing
something very specific.

Look at these pictures
with me, okay? (sighs)

And pick out something you like,
and whatever it is, we'll do it.

(sighs) Well, I... I do like this.

Oh, I hadn't seen those
before. What are those?

Those are origami cranes.

I like those.

I was really into origami
when I was in the fifth grade.

We could make them together.

Origami.

Sounds cool.

Great! Let's look for a tutorial online.

Okay.

_

NATHANIEL: The key to good
planning is good organization.

And the key to good
organization is foresight.

(clears his throat)

Anticipating the needs
of the client so that...

(stomach grumbling) Aah!

What's wrong? You okay?

You're turning an odd color.

Oh! (stomach grumbling)

(stomach continues grumbling)

(stomach grumbling)

That is the sound of
my body defeating fat

is all that is.

Oh.

(passing wind, stomach grumbling)

Oh.

So, um...

clearly someone has passed gas.

And we don't need to
talk about who did it,

but if somebody wants to be loyal

and to do the right thing
and take responsibility,

then we can all move on.

MAYA: I did it!

I farted in this enclosed room.

Mm-hmm.

And she might do it again, folks,

so we should all... be
prepared... for that.

(Nathaniel sighs)

(stomach grumbling, Nathaniel
groans, passing wind)

Oh!

MAN: Fold the paper in half
by taking the top corner and

folding it to the bottom corner.

The crease should run from the
left corner tip to the right.

Use your nails to make a sharp crease.

Fold the triangle in half

by taking the left corner
and folding it to the right.

Take the top flap and open it,

creasing it to the left and right side

so you can fold the top right
corner to the bottom corner.

(birds singing)

Oh, no!

Oh. I fell asleep.

Yeah, you did. It's okay.

I was up all night,
and I made 25 cranes.

Three or four of them
might not be usable

due to the blood from my paper cuts.

- Oh, God, Becks, I'm sorry.
- No, no.

No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
We'll finish it together later.

Um, I just... I got to go do some...

some other things on this
list. It's okay? Yeah?

(yawning)

Yeah.

No, no. Wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Huh? Yeah.

Yes!

- (knocking)
- Come in!

Hey!

- Hi!
- I was

on my way to work, and
I thought I'd stop by

and see how it's all going,

and maybe help you... choose a dress?

Yeah! It's going great.

You have a lot going on.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, what's this? This is cute.

Oh, no, no, no, don't sit in it!

Don't sit in it. Sorry.
Very, very, very bad.

It's not a chair for sitting.
It's just for imagining

what it would be like
if you could sit in it.

Okay.

What are you making?

Cake pops! Yeah, they're
Dasha and Sustin's favorite.

Ach! Sorry. Their names are not...

It's-it's-it's-it's...

Kasha and Justin.

- No, no, it's not. It's fine.
- Okay.

I-I want you to... I
want you to look at me.

Okay, I want you to zoom up,

focus up and just really
look in my eyes.

Okay. Okay, I'm looking. Yeah.

Postpone the wedding.

Do it! Do it.

I'm-I'm begging you.

Uh, no, I can't.

I already have 85 RSVPs,
so it's, uh, too late.

Too late. Too, too, too, too late.

Also, Paula, why

are you trying to talk
me out of getting married?

Oh. What do you have
against this wedding?

Nothing!

That's-that's not what I said.

I... I know. Look,

I know it seems like this is a lot, but

really, I'm in an okay place.

- I almost have a dress picked out.
- Ooh!

I mean, I was gonna wear
the dress that Sasha wore,

but she wore her mother's dress,
which is not an option for me,

'cause my mother burned
her wedding dress.

She was five months pregnant
when she got married,

so she decided to get rid of all
of her disgusting fat clothes.

Look, these-these cake pops here...

They-they look really complicated.

Oh, but one's a lady, and one's a man.

It's adorable, but how about,
you know, just forget these.

Okay? And ooh!

I can go to Costco! I can
order you a sheet cake!

Oh, God, everybody loves
a Costco sheet cake.

- That's so great.
- (gasps)

Oh, my God, that's such a great idea!

Oh, that's so much easier than...

Oh, God, what am I even... what
am I even doing with this stuff?

- I'll take care of it.
- Yay! Okay.

Oh, thank you, Matron of Honor.
Matron of Honor in the house!

- Killing it!
- Yeah.

Thank you. You're a lifesaver.

- Okay. I love you. Bye!
- Bye!

Okay.

Yeah, these cake pops
are gonna be amazing.

Best wedding ever!

(elevator bell dings)

(sighs, sniffles)

Um... (stomach growling)

(sighs)

(knocking)

(sighs)

Are you supposed to wash kale
before you put it in a smoothie?

Just asking for a friend. (sniffles)

Nathaniel?

Hmm?

You have to go home.

You're sick.

No, I'm not sick.

(sniffles) I'm not sick.

(clears his throat) I
don't believe in sick.

It's like my dad always said,

"If you're not missing
a leg, you walk it off.

"And if you are missing
a leg, you limp it off.

"And if you're missing two
legs, thank you for your service.

Here's a quarter."

It is so weird. We
have nothing in common,

and yet we have the same father.

(stomach grumbling)

Seriously, you guys need to
leave the office right now.

- I really think...
- No!

No, no. No, no, no, no,
no, no. (passing wind)

Mm. No.

No! No. No.

No!

What just... ?

Oh! No.

(groans)

Is it... is it still happening

- right now?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh.

- Aah.
- And still?

Yeah. Yup.

(groaning): Oh!

All right.

You did it, so that's all over.

He didn't do anything!

It was me!

I pooped my pants in
this enclosed office.

Let me roll you

- to the bathroom. Let me help you.
- No! I'm fine.

I don't need help.

I got this.

♪ ♪

(grunts, sniffs)

Nothing to see here!

Everyone go back to work!

There's nothing to see here, okay?

(birds chirping)

(sighs)

Oh. Hey, Sara, I was hoping
no one would notice me

- sitting here alone.
- Really?

You just waved me over here.

You okay?

Yeah. Just a...

you know, just a little bummed.

You know, I had a bunch
of ideas for the wedding,

and she didn't like most of them.

I don't know. I-I'm starting to feel

like I'm showing up at
someone else's wedding.

Well, Josh, what do you really want?

You want to see?

Josh, that is awesome.

- Yeah, but she said...
- No, you got to go for it.

Otherwise you'll always feel
like it wasn't your wedding.

Yeah. You're right.

(chuckles) Thank you.

God, you're so chill.

I gave you that suit so
you could drive home in it.

Darryl, I can't go home.

We have that meeting.

In fact, we need to get going to that.

Oh, God. (groans)

Okay, you know what, you are not ready

for any kind of meeting, sir.

You look bad. And it's
not just the suit. I...

Yeah, you should rest.

Hey, tell you what, we'll
get started without you.

You take a nap or something.
You can join us later.

(scoffs) A nap?

I don't nap. I'm a man.

What?

Napping is manly.

Bears nap for, like, what, months?

Right? What could be
more manly than a bear?

A lion?

Oh. Well... lt's like

my dad says, naps are for children,

the elderly, and weaklings.

Your dad has a saying about naps?

Hey. Your old man isn't here.

You can do whatever you want!

That's right. Your dad's
not here, and we are.

And we're telling you you
don't need to take a nap

like a little baby...

You can take a nap like a man.

Take a man nap!

Come on!

On the couch.

Feet up.

Come on.

♪ ♪

♪ It's a man nap ♪

♪ Time to nap like a man ♪

♪ Sleepy, sleepy cuddle time ♪

♪ Nap like a man ♪

♪ Life is so tiring ♪

♪ When you're a man ♪

♪ Squinty, squinty, mouth agape ♪

♪ Nappy-nap man ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, baby, the day is long ♪

♪ Work is stressful ♪

♪ It's exhausting
being so damn strong ♪

♪ It feels so right
to just let it go ♪

♪ 'Cause as a man gets older ♪

♪ His testosterone
starts getting low ♪

♪ Man nap ♪

♪ Time to nap like a man ♪

♪ Suit jacket is a blankie now ♪

♪ Nap like a man ♪

♪ Life is so intense ♪

♪ When you're a man ♪

♪ Drooly, drooly, dreamy smile... ♪

♪ Nappy-nap man. ♪

(exhales)

(knocking at door)

Hey, can I hang out here?

My house is really stressful right now.

I need wines. Do you have wines?

Yeah. Sure. (exhales)

Thank you. Come on in.

Dude, you cannot believe how
hard Rebecca is bugging out

over this wedding. It is, like...

Wait.

Sorry. No, I should not be
talking to you about this.

Eh, it's okay.

Really? 'Cause your good friend

is now marrying your ex-boyfriend.

I mean, if I were you,
I would hate them both.

I know. It's weird, but I don't.

(chuckles) I truly am over Josh.

And if Rebecca wants to marry
him, then good luck to her.

Really? 'Cause you seem
a little out of it lately.

(sighs) Like, I took your yoga class,

and corpse pose was
basically the whole class.

Truth is, I actually don't know

what to do with my life right now.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

Like, I truly don't miss Josh.

Like, at all. Like, ugh.

But I had planned this
whole future around him.

Like, our wedding, our kids, our house,

our couples Halloween costumes.

- Mm.
- And now

I have to plan this
whole future for myself,

and I don't know what it is.

Like, I don't even know
if it still includes yoga.

Yeah.

That's a bummer.

That sounds really hard.

But I came here 'cause
I was stressed, so...

wines?

PATRICK: What are these for?

I don't know. I-I don't
know. I don't know, Patrick.

I... They're probably
supposed to go on something

or in something or be hung.

Or maybe they're all just giant pens.

I... Whatever it is,
I'm doing this all alone,

so I'm gonna screw it up.

(phone chimes)

It's an RSVP from my dad.

What is...

Hey, so, um, the answer's no.

My dad's not coming to my wedding.

But-but it's okay,
'cause he actually sent

a really sweet note. "Stuck
on a remote construction site

"in Alaska, tough to get flights,

can't make it." Great.

Great, great. I...

I'm not disappointed.
It's what I expected.

Of course my father's
not coming to my wedding

and walking me down
the aisle. Of course.

'Cause that's a normal thing,

and normal things are not for me.

Oh, man, that's tough.

Well, I should

- probably keep going on my run.
- Hey.

Hey, hey, Patrick, please don't go.

I really need someone to talk
to, and you're the only one

that I can talk to, um, because
I've messed everything up.

And if anyone knew how
much I messed things up,

uh, they might never talk to me again.

(exhales)

Patrick, you were right.

About my boss. Okay?

(sighs) That time in the
elevator we got stuck,

there wasn't just chemistry.
He wasn't just "foine."

We kissed.

Uh, no... I-I kissed him.

I kissed him. And ever
since that happened,

I have just been scrambling
to make this wedding happen

to just smooth everything over.

And I've been trying to
do it like a normal person.

But, of course, that's
not working, because I'm...

I'm not a normal person, okay?

I'm not Dustin, and I'm not Sasha.

I'm not from Nova Scotia.
And I'm freaking out.

But you're here.

You're here.

And you can help me.

I can?

♪ ♪

♪ Tell me I'm okay, Patrick ♪

♪ Tell me, please, that's
all you have to do ♪

♪ Just one little okay ♪

♪ And you'll be on your way ♪

♪ Patrick, I really
need that from you ♪

♪ Tell me I'm okay, Patrick ♪

♪ No pressure, but I
seriously need to know ♪

♪ I realize your occupation ♪

♪ Is not gentle validation ♪

♪ But just this once, Patrick ♪

♪ Give it a go ♪

♪ You represent ♪

♪ The outside world
'cause you don't know me ♪

♪ Your perception of
me is completely pure ♪

♪ You don't have an agenda ♪

♪ That's why I need you to lend a ♪

♪ Hand, Patrick ♪

♪ 'Cause I think I'm fine, Patrick ♪

♪ But I'm only, like ♪

♪ 43% sure ♪

♪ Tell me I'm okay ♪

♪ Patrick ♪

♪ Or even something in the
ballpark would be nice ♪

♪ You can phrase it how you want ♪

♪ You can make it nonchalant ♪

♪ Forget the "O" ♪

♪ Even just "K" would suffice ♪

Seriously, Patrick,

was I sick the day in school

they taught you how
to be a normal person?

It just feels like there's
something fundamental

I'm missing out on. Like, is
there an instruction manual?

You get what I'm saying, Patrick?

It just... it just feels
like everyone is in this cabal

of normal people, and
they're all laughing at me

like I'm the jester
in my own Truman Show.

Patrick, tell me what the secret is.

Just tell me what the secret is.

Is there a manual?

Do you have the manual? I know
you have the manual, Patrick.

I know it's in your truck, Patrick!

♪ I'm sorry that I yelled, Patrick ♪

♪ But I need just a little
more from you today ♪

♪ So, Patrick, hear my plea ♪

♪ Make one last delivery ♪

♪ Say the word ♪

♪ Patrick, tell me I'm okay... ♪

♪ Am I okay? ♪

REBECCA: Patrick,

I'm...

I'm so tired.

♪ ♪

(elevator bell dings)

(quiet chatter)

Oh, my goodness, uh,
Mr. Plimpton, Senior.

How wonderful to see you!

Uh, to what do we owe
this enormous privilege?

I was on my way to Palm Springs.

I came by to say hello,

see how things were
here in the hinterlands.

- (laughing)
- So where is he?

- Where is Nathaniel?
- (clears his throat)

Um, he's... Well, he's
actually currently engaged

in a very important
male rite of passage.

Isn't this his office right there?

Yes. Um... Just...

(Paula hits Darryl)

Pop, you're here!

(laughs)

Um...

Were you asleep? Are
you suddenly a baby,

an elderly, a weakling?

Were you feeling ti-ti?

I was, uh... I... No, I was, um...

I was... sick?

Sick? Really?

You look fine to me.

Actually, I feel a lot better.
It's amazing what a nap can do.

What are you wearing? What is this suit?

You look like an
unsuccessful oil tycoon.

I'm sorry, Dad.

We'll discuss this later

when I can safely
breathe through my nose.

(sighs deeply)

Don't pity me! I pity you!

HEATHER: Dude, just
don't touch anything.

(laughter)

Oh, my God I want to see all
of Rebecca's wedding stuff.

I just love wedding stuff!

Drinking in the day time is fun.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Yeah. Rebecca?

What is going on in here?

Did you murder a wedding?

Seriously, this is a disaster.

Why are you doing this all by yourself?

I don't know. Because I don't need help.

And, you know, I'm doing
a do-it-yourself myself.

(groans)

Oh, you're right.

Right. This is a fiasco.

I give up.

I'm just gonna have to settle for

the fact Josh and I are
gonna have an F-minus wedding

at an A-plus venue,
which means it'll be a C,

which everyone knows is actually an F.

(sighs heavily)

All right, just, if you want
any of this stuff, take it.

Really? Those are the
pricey pussy willows.

Just help yourself.

I'm gonna go to bed, 'cause
it's the one thing I'm good at.

(sighs)

Ow.

What are you doing here?

Thought you were planning
your fancy wedding

and couldn't be bothered to do your job.

I was. Um...

But I'm kind of giving up.

I don't know. I'm gonna move
the date back or something.

Maybe then my mom can help me,
and my dad can even show up.

Um, did you guys want
to sit at the same table?

Wait. Your father's not
coming to your wedding?

No. No, he's, um...

he's stuck on a remote
construction site in Alaska,

which, now that I'm
saying it out loud...

That is a total lie. Yeah.

He just doesn't want to come.

Even if I move the date.

It hurts. I wish it
didn't, but it... it does.

MAYA: My father and I

e-mail each other Westworld
theories every Monday.

(footsteps approaching)

V, what are you doing here?

I brought you a wedding.

- My wedding.
- What?

I had this at home.
It's everything you need.

It has a table of contents, an index

and up-to-date
vendor cards.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Do you not want me to have this?

No. I do. You just need to pull a
lot harder. This is hard for me.

Okay. Totally.

- (groans)
- Oh, nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I can't give this to you.

(laughing): You're gonna mess it all up.

Oh.

(sighs)

- I'm gonna do it. I'll do it.
- Do what?

I'm gonna plan you the
wedding of my dreams.

I'm gonna be your wedding planner.

Wait. What?

You need one. Desperately.

Like in the movies with the headsets

and the black pant suits?

Yeah, wow, I would actually
totally crush that look.

Oh, my God, she so would.

Valencia, you would
actually do this for me?

No, it's not for you.

It's for the institution of weddings.

(crickets chirping)

I don't care what
anyone says! I love it!

Oh, hey, Josh.

Where's Rebecca?

Oh, she's taking a bath and
doing a moisturizing treatment

on those damaged
cuticles and flaky heels.

No bride of mine is gonna
be shedding like a snake

while walking down the aisle.

I'm planning your wedding.

What are you wearing, by the way?

You look like the guest of
honor at a park ranger gala.

REBECCA: Oh, V,

thank you. I feel so much better.

Mm-hmm.

Hi, Josh.

You, um... Mm. She...

She's... ?

So, I finally asked for help.

VALENCIA: Great. So,
Josh, that tuxedo goes

in the garbage along with
the weird vintage tux Rebecca

ordered. I scheduled a fitting for you

tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp.

Put it down.

From now on, you're on a strict diet.

Don't forget, I know what
gluten does to your face.

Sorry.

Patrick, I am so glad you called me.

I had no idea what was
going on with Rebecca.

She's not confiding in me at all.

Both of her parents letting her down?

Yeah, I thought you'd want to know.

(laughing): Oh.

I always want to know.

Hey, Rebecca, something came
for you from New York.

Did you order anything?

No. I didn't.

It's from my mother.

Really? What could it be?

Hmm.

This is perfect.

I don't understand.
H-How did this happen?

You useless piece of crap
that calls herself a mother!

Your daughter called
you to beg you for help,

and you refuse her?!

After a lifetime of treating
her like a dog with scurvy?

No, you shut up, Naomi!

You get your ass

to the most expensive bridal
boutique you can find right now,

pull out your credit card and
get something in a size six

that is beautiful and magical
and will make everyone cry,

you horrendous excuse for a person!

You do it today, and
you send it overnight!

(sighs)

Sometimes moms just come through.

Thank you, Lucia.

God, it's such a great

- dress.
- Mm.

Well done, Naomi.

- She has good taste.
- Mm-hmm.

It's really disturbing how normal

you look in that dress.

I do?!

Thank you!

(phone chimes)

- Oh.
- Okay, fitting is now over.

For the wedding shower,

or we'll be late for
the bachelorette tonight.

Rebecca, I put your outfit

on your bed.

Ladies, chop, chop. It's about to begin.

- (sings note)
- (doorbell rings)

Is it gonna be weird for you
to see your never-in-laws?

Heather, I'm a professional.

Also, they kind of treated me like ass.

(gasps) Baby food jars
are the new mason jars.

Aren't they the cutest?

The personal succulents you can pick up

on your way out.

- You're really good at this.
- Yeah, duh.

- (overlapping chatter)
- Can we get a drink?

(overlapping chatter)

Baby food jars, totally
trending. Have one.

WOMAN: Mine's like a Christmas tree.

It has, like, berries and...

HEATHER: Yeah, should I
just keep holding this?

VALENCIA: Yeah. Just...

Doing great. Does
anyone want another one?

Oh, no. Cheers. Cheers to the bride.

WOMEN: Cheers.

Rebecca, that zoning
motion you just turned in?

Are you serious?

Darryl and I need to see
you in his office ASAP.

- What?!
- Come on.

You know, usually when
someone poops their pants,

they gain a little bit of humility.

Heard about that, huh?

(Rebecca scoffs)

Where's the... ?

Dad?

What are you doing here?

Someone sent a private plane.

It barely gets used.

You're here!

You're really here!

(laughing)

(Nathaniel groans)

Thank you.

(clears his throat)

Why would you do this?

Because I know what it's
like to care about your dad

and what he thinks, even
if you wish you didn't.

Thank you.

(Darryl sighs)

Mmm.

Reminds me of Marley & Me.

You're the Labrador.

(crying): And he's the owner.

(crickets chirping)

Okay, just a few more touches, and

press "live."

(gasps)

Guys, check this out. I outdid myself.

Oh! Oh, V, that's...

That's just beautiful.

Mmm.

Over my dead body.

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --