All language subtitles for Black Monday s01e07 65.eng

♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪

[Lehman Brothers]
Previously on Black Monday ...

[Blair whimpers]

I came across
some Georgina documents.

Yeah, I think that
maybe we purchased

some Georgina shares
back in the day.

[quietly] Oh, my God!

Who the fuck are you?

- [Missy] We're with the SEC.
- We'll be in touch.

We've had some threats,
uh, with Tiffany,

e-ever since Calvin Klein's
daughter was kidnapped.

Mo and I dated
a very long time ago.

- [grunts]
- Mo! Damn it.

So this is it? You're gonna
stay here with him?

I tried everything to make
this work because I love you.

Do you even want
to get married?

[Mo] Those aren't cops.
They're fucking actors.

Brendan books
a pilot every year.

[Blair] Dawn, I'm really
confused right now.

♪ synth music ♪

♪♪♪

[Tiff] So no matter
how drunk I get tonight,

wake me up, because remember,

we're meeting my folks
downtown at nine a.m.

to look at that apartment
on the Upper West Side.

And remind me,
what's the difference

between the Upper West
and the Upper East?

My mom made up
a mnemonic device

for me as a kid.

"Upper West, West, West
is best, best, best.

Upper East, East, East
is Jewish."

Is Nair supposed to burn
my eyes from this distance?

[inhales deeply]
Yeah, baby.

Tiff, you know,
I've been doing really well

at work lately, and we could
afford a place on our own

if we were willing just to move
a little bit more downtown.

"Downtown is
brown, brown, brown."

Blair, every newlywed's parents
buy them an apartment. Duh.

The only thing
you should work on

is letting yourself be happy.

Everything's perfect.

Is it? Because we still
haven't really talked

about the engagement party.

- What about?
- It was crappy.

Well, you know what they say.

"Crappy engagement,
happy marriage."

- No one says that.
- Well, I do.

How about the fact that I...
didn't come home that night?

I just assumed you were
busy with work junk,

and if I assumed correctly,
cross your arms.

Oh, perfect.

[sighs]
I just think,

in light
of the last couple months,

maybe we should think about...
[inhales deeply]

...postponing the wedding.

[Tiff] No.
There's that P word again.

We were in The Times
Vows section, Blair,

not the disavows section.

We are getting married,

we are getting a place
on the Upper West Side,

and I am getting sozzled at
my goddamned bachelorette party

wearing a goddamned
penis crown.

And if you agree
with all that, blink.

[snorts] Oh, God.

Perfect.
I love you.

[Blair sighs, water runs]

[knocking at door]

Just a minute.

Who is it?

Oh, my God!

♪ energetic synth music ♪

[Spencer] All those
fair-weather

Halley's Comet fans
from last year

don't know what
they're missing.

1987 is the year of the comet.

There's gonna be
11 visible tonight.

- Eleven!
- Ooh, is that a lot?

Only the most since 1912.

[laughs] The only person
I've seen more excited

about burning rocks
is Lawrence Taylor.

- Who?
- He's a Giant.

Crackhead.

We all have our hobbies.

Mine is astronomy.
Yours is lying to me.

All right, how about tonight,
we snuggle up on the couch

with a bottle of wine
and watch your comets?

And then maybe you won't sleep
on the couch anymore.

[quietly] I don't know
if I'm ready for that.

Babe, come on.
I said some things.

You said some things.

But don't you miss
these things?

- [chuckles]
- Let's "comet"

to ending this fight.

I love you.

Oh, me too.

Especially when you get
all astronomical with it.

- Ooh. [laughs]
- [laughs] Super hot.

It's a date.

Okay, I'll pick up a bottle

on my way back
from Tiff's bachelorette.

What? Are you serious?

You think I want to go?

I told you, the Georgina play
only works if they get married,

and they're not
in a great place.

We are not in a great place!

I worked too hard on this.

And it's a lot of money, baby.

Twenty minutes.

I'm not even gonna
stay for a drink.

- I promise.
- [growls]

[growls playfully]

- Go.
- Thank you, thank you.

Thank you!

♪ Hey, you came
to rock the place ♪

♪ And you can now all
lift your hands ♪

Wakey, wakey.

- [snorts]
- Oh, there he is.

- Surprise! [laughs]
- What the fuck?

Wha--in what world
is it okay to kidnap someone?

Oh, people kidnap
each other all the time

for these bachelor
party joke things.

You know, it's called
"kidding-napping"

for a reason, Blair.

No, it's not.
And you used chloroform.

- Well, that's the napping part.
- Who uses chloroform?

Uh,
Colonel John Hannibal Smith,

Faceman, Howling Man Murdock--

Now you're just listing
the A-Team.

- You changed my shirt?
- Blair, they used to...

- What the fuck is this?
- ...chloroform Mr. T

all the time, okay?
He was always fine afterward.

Just because something works
on TV doesn't make it okay.

Will you just try to have fun?

- Chad, stop the car!
- Nope. Don't stop shit.

Come on, Blair. We got a whole
night of surprises planned.

You're just pissed off
about your engagement party,

- but to be honest, you--
- I'm not pissed

about the engagement party.

I am pissed that you
never say "I'm sorry"

for anything ever.

Well, I'm sorry...

that I have a policy
about never apologizing...

to white people.

Why? Because Sting won all
those Grammys over "Thriller"?

Because of slavery, Blair.
Slavery.

Sorry.

Man, I thought grabbing you
and going all grand gesture

would make it up to you
in a two birds, one stone,

three eight balls, four scores
of Scores girls kind of way.

It doesn't even matter.

I don't think
I can marry Tiff anymore.

- You don't what?
- [tires screech softly]

[sighs] Thank you.
Good night.

Good ni--hey,
why are we stopping?

- [Mo] What the fuck?
- Everyone out of the car!

- Oh, God.
- [man] Now!

Another prank?

[Blair] Mo, I would've thought

you would've
learned your lesson,

but, no, you got to double down.

This isn't
a fucking prank, kid.

What are you,
Thug One and Thug Two?

"Oh, the places you'll go.
The things you will do!"

Hey, open your mouth again, and
I'll shit up your ass, bitch.

That sounds complicated.

- Oh, I'll make it work.
- [mockingly] Oh.

Hey, let's go Last Dragon
on these motherfuckers.

♪ dramatic music ♪

Really?

You son of a...

[engine turns over, revs]

[Blair] Sweet.
What's the next surprise?

[bell dinging]

So first it was
your anniversary.

Then your daughter's birthday.

- Then your son's quinceañera?
- Then your aunt died.

- Then your uncle died.
- Then your car died.

Then your wife dyed
her hair the wrong shade,

so you had to rush her
to the salon?

[Missy]
How is that even an excuse?

Well, what can I say?
I'm a busy guy.

I'm a busy, important,
law-abiding, super-cool guy,

but I'm here now, so let's get
this ménage on the trois.

- Keith, we don't want you.
- Oh, well.

You don't know what you're
missing, 'cause I go downtown.

We want Maurice Monroe

for all the illegal shit
the Jammer Group's been up to,

and you are gonna
give him to us.

And why the fuck
would I do that?

The SEC has taken down
exactly--uh, what is it?

Oh, zero people?

Okay, by the time
you build a case,

Reagan--hallowed be thy name--
will make it legal.

[Deb] Well, we're about
to change all that.

We got an open-and-shut case
of stock manipulation.

So either you cooperate, or
you're gonna go down with Mo.

You want to go
to prison, Keith?

All right, what do you got?

♪ intriguing music ♪

♪♪♪

[sighs]

[scoffs, laughs]

This? F.A.T.?

That's all you got?
Well, uh, I hope you like

your nothing burger
with nothing on it,

because this is nothing.

Then how do you explain

the highly abnormal
one-day trading pattern

for Federal Allied Titanium
on October 20th of last year?

It was a prank.
A fucking goof. This is rich.

To think that we were afraid
of you two Columb-hos.

Columbos, but with "ho."

- We get it.
- Bullshit.

Call MoStan, okay?
Call Ty Daverman.

And he will set you
two chicks straight, okay?

- Speaking of straight...
- Deb.

- [door opens]
- You're gay.

[scoffs]
No, I'm not.

[Deb]
You're gay, and we know it.

So why don't you have a seat,
Colum-homo?

♪ tense music ♪

♪♪♪

[sighs]

Thought so.

♪♪♪

[slurping loudly]

- [door opens]
- Someone?

- [Dawn] Thank you.
- Dawn? Come on in! Hi!

Hey, uh,
sorry I'm super late.

Or am I super early?
Why is no one here?

Let's drank. Waiter!
Get my girl some dranks!

- I'm so glad you came.
- [Dawn] Of course.

You know I had
to come celebrate

the world's strongest couple.

Well, second strongest

behind Sylvester Stallone
and Brigitte Nielsen, right?

- Those two are yoked.
- [laughs] You're hilarious.

And you're gonna love
my girlfriends.

They're always joking around

and running
at least 52 minutes late.

I mean, this is, like, so them.

Dickcessory?

- Oh, uh, actually, I'm good.
- [imitates gunshot]

You're dangerous.
No, I'm good, actually.

No--no white dicks for me
after Labor Day.

- Oh! Boom! Again.
- No, it's...

Dawn Rickles. [laughs]

You should charge a two-drink
minimum for yourself.

Get my girl two drinks!
Sit.

More peñis coladas, ma'am?

Call me ma'am again.

I want you to.

And for you...
[slurring] ...miss?

Um, I'm-I'm actually good.

I just came to say
a quick hello.

No, don't leave.

[laughs] I mean, I just--
I want you to hang,

'cause I really want to
get to know the woman

that stole my Care Blair away.

Wait, Tiff, I-I don't know what
you think is going on, but--

I mean, just 'cause
you're his boss

and you make him work
late and stuff.

What did you think I meant?

That I am his boss and always
making him stay late, working.

[loudly] Can I have a Scotch?

[sarcastically]
Oh, this is so scary, Mo.

The car fire's a little
on the nose, though.

It's not a fucking prank,
okay, Blair?

We're lost
in goddamn Little Beirut.

And I lost a
quarter-of-a-million-dollar car.

Oh, come on.

Okay, it's a quarter of a
quarter-of-a-million-dollar car.

It was mostly,
you know, Fiero

with a little Town Car
thrown in there.

- But still, it stings.
- No, I mean, "Come on,

I don't believe you."

Look, no offense, but I'm just
gonna get a cab and go home.

I got to figure out
what I'm doing with Tiff.

You know, this is the second
time you've said this shit.

Figure what out?
Spill it.

I just feel like me and Tiff,
it's just not--

it just is not...

Wow.
You thought of everything.

The "cops" are here.

No, no, I didn't set this up.
We should go this way, man.

- Let's go this way.
- No. No, no, no.

I'm gonna go talk to the fuzz.

- No, don't go talk to the...
- Yeah.

...fucking fuzz! Hey!

- Officers!
- [Mo] Blair!

[Blair] Officers!

Hi. I was just wondering

if either of you
T.J. Hooker extras had a chance

to try the canapés
at my engagement party

before you fucking
trashed the place.

What? Who the fuck are you?

Mo!

Next time you call
Central Casting,

you got to be specific.

Don't just say "big."
You should've said "tough."

They sent the fucking Fat Boys.

Please, do not shoot
my dumb-ass friend.

- Shut the fuck up!
- [grunts]

Come on, you got to try
to sell that punch better.

Who'd you boost this watch off,
huh, bro?

Listen, we're not gonna
say anything, okay?

[Mo] We didn't see anything!
Just let us go!

Okay, look...

- I'm tired.
- Blair.

I want to go home.
What are we supposed to say?

"Time out" or
"olly, olly, oxen free"?

- Fucking actors.
- [gunshot]

- Oh!
- Shit, that felt real.

Whoa. It is real, you dumb fuck.
Point it at the dirty cops.

- Okay.
- Get-get on the ground.

I'm just backing away.
I'm sorry.

Sorry about this.
Thank you for your service!

[man] Get back here!
I'll fucking kill you!

[tires squealing]

- Get the fuck back here!
- Get back here!

- Oh, shit.
- [tires squealing]

[gunshots]

♪♪♪

[engine revving,
siren blaring]

[both laughing and cheering]

- [slams table]
- Give us a case,

or we'll tell everyone
you're more flaming

than Fire Island,
which works on two levels.

- [Missy] Come on, Deb.
- We'll tell your wife.

We'll tell Mo.

We'll tell your son.

♪ dramatic music ♪

[exhales deeply, gulps]

Okay.

Nice.
Told you he'd be in.

No, no, I meant
"Okay, go for it."

[chuckles] Tell the world
that I long for schlong.

Agent Fox isn't fucking joking.

I mean, there was a joke
in the way that she said it.

I'm not joking either, okay?

You know,
God's a funny fuck, isn't He?

Maybe this is the final push
I've needed, you know?

I've been wanting to tell
my family forever,

and Mo only cares that
I'm gay for money, so...

do it.

Now, if there aren't
any further questions,

your ho-nors--that's
"your honors" but with "ho"--

- Not your best work.
- No, we, uh...

we got another ace
up our sleeves, so...

- Mm-hmm.
- We will be back.

[Missy] Time to break
out the big guns.

[both laughing hysterically]

I'm telling you,

every girl is caught between
a Jake and a Ted.

- Who?
- From Sixteen Candles.

- [gasps] I haven't seen it.
- What?

- No.
- No! You haven't seen it?

- Uh-uh.
- Okay.

So Jake Ryan is
this super-hot badass.

- Mm-hmm.
- And Ted is this dweeb.

- Oof.
- And I'm marrying a total Ted,

which is crazy because all
I'd ever been with are Jakes.

- Oh...
- I lost my virginity

- to a real bad boy.
- Who?

- Bill Laimbeer.
- Ah! The Piston?

- More like the noodle.
- [laughs]

We went to theater camp
together.

[gasps] I hope he was
a better actor back then.

[laughs silently]

- It's a basketball joke.
- Mm.

'Cause...

Anyway, I hear you,
honestly.

You know, I was all Jakes,

and then I married
a real fucking Ted.

I told you, I told you.

- Oh, God, Dawn.
- Hmm?

Am I making a huge mistake?

- No, no!
- Tell me.

No, I promise you.

Blair--Blair's great.

Like, really great.
Tiff, you are a lucky girl.

And you and I, we both know,
you know,

bad boys are just bad.

Yeah.
Except Jake Ryan.

He had a heart of gold.

- Mm.
- When he found out

all Ted wanted was
to lose his virginity,

Jake let him have sex
with his passed-out girlfriend.

- What the fuck?
- I know. Wow.

And that was
in movie theaters?

- Yeah.
- And white people were just

like, "Cool"?

[scoffs]
Oh, my God.

I guess that is
super fucked up.

- Yeah, yeah.
- [laughing]

[chuckles]

- [crying]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's happening?
What's happening?

I'm pretty sure Blair tried to
call off the wedding tonight.

And it's gonna
be super embarrassing,

but I think I'm gonna--
just gonna take him up on it.

- No. Why?
- 'Cause we're cursed.

- We're cursed.
- I-I...no, no.

Just drink your penis.
It's gonna be okay.

I promise.

- [beeper beeping]
- What a fucking night, right?

- Oh!
- Oh, you handled that gun

- like a champ.
- Shit!

[Blair] Sorry, I thought
it was fake, Mo.

[Mo] And I am sorry
for kidnapping you,

but that was fresh.

- [Blair] Yes!
- [both laughing]

Ooh! What a team, right?

Brains and beauty,
witty and pretty,

and, hey, you bring some shit
to the table, too, kid.

[grunts happily] Oh, my God,
we're alive in a stolen cop car.

- Yeah.
- We cheated death.

- We fucking did.
- What do we do now?

- Let's drink till we die!
- Yes!

Hey, there's a spot
right over here.

- All right.
- Okay.

[door alarm dinging]

Who breaks up
before their wedding

and still ends up
happy together?

Lots of people. Uh...

yeah, O.J. Simpson and that
blonde girl he just married.

- Yeah.
- Robert Wagner

and Natalie Wood--
I mean, they married each other

twice and were
so happy until...

they drifted apart...
literally.

And the engagement party
was such a disaster.

Not to mention
he was out all night

with some prostitute
probably.

No, no, probably...not.

I tried to talk to my minister,

but I'm only
an Operating Thetan IV,

and he won't discuss it
until I go up the Bridge,

but that's, like,
another 100 grand.

[sighs] Trust me, Tiff.
You are not cursed.

Yeah? Really?

Then how come
no one showed up

to my bachelorette party,
Dawn?

Maybe they got caught
in the park and killed.

You're sweet.

But I think this is
the final sign.

- Check, please.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Maybe it's a good thing your
fake-ass friends didn't show.

- [sighs] Why?
- Well, you've outgrown them.

Okay? You have new,
sophisticated friends like me.

Right?
Now, who needs those skanks?

All we need are drinks.

Haven't you ever fallen
out of love, Dawn?

You know, you keep holding on,

hoping to get
that feeling back, but...

the tighter you grip it,
the further away it gets.

And then one day you wake up,

and you're two totally
different people

and you wonder how you even got
together in the first place.

♪ somber music ♪

Haven't you ever
felt that, Dawn?

♪♪♪

[sighs] No.

[breathes deeply]

I've never felt that.

- [Blair] We're like Miami Vice.
- [Mo] Exactly.

- Tiff? Dawn?
- Blair?

Are you crying?

Are you okay?

I don't think so.
What are you doing here?

Jesus Christ, this night
can't get any crazier.

We almost got killed, okay?
Twice.

And then we come in here
randomly to get a drink,

and then you two are here.

If this isn't a sign that
these two kids are soul mates,

I don't know what is,
right, Dawn?

- Right, Dawn?
- Uh, yeah. Sure.

Ye--"yeah, sure"?
More like "hell, yeah, sure."

Hey, waiter, listen,

a bottle of
your finest champagne

will not cut it.

We need four
of those motherfuckers

and then tequila shots, 'cause
we're getting crazy tonight.

Oh, man, can you believe
this coincidence?

No.

Ok--huh? No?
Ah, wha...

[Missy] Ugh, smug Chia Pet
motherfucker.

[sighs] There's got to be
something we missed.

The only other thing
we found was this.

They've been buying up
Georgina Jeans like crazy.

What? When I went through
their quarterlies,

they weren't holding
any major positions.

They were up to 40%.

They must've gotten spooked
and sold it off or something.

Or they hid it
to throw off the Street...

and us.

Captain's log.

Captain Keith T. Shanker
reporting for duty.

This planet is full
of assholes, a--

- Feet off the table.
- Fucking touch me again,

- and I'll sue.
- So we know you don't care

if we tell your son
about your boyfriend,

but how would you feel
if we told your son

and your boyfriend
that they're going to jail

for illegal share parking?

You know, I think your son's
gonna have a really hard time

getting into Brandeis with that
on his permanent record.

Believe me, Brad's
gonna have a hard time

getting into any college.

Well, I bet
your boyfriend's gonna have

a real hard time in prison--
actually, he might like it.

[sighs] Can we cool it
with the gay panic stuff, Deb?

- My cousin's a fairy.
- [Keith] Bullshit.

I don't have any idea
what you're talking about.

Liar, liar,
jeans on fire.

[Missy] Nice. See? That was
a good, clean one.

[Deb] Thanks.
How do you feel now, Keith?

♪ tense music ♪

[quietly]
Fuck me.

[sighs]

Okay.
What do you need me to do?

[Blair] Be honest, Mo. You
didn't know they were here?

And, Dawn,
you didn't tip them off

- that I was getting cold feet?
- Wait a second.

- Why do you have cold feet?
- You're getting cold feet?

- Because you are!
- I'm-I'm just confused.

Don't you love me anymore?

Yes, he loves you anymore.
This is insane, guys.

Cold feet is normal.
It's very normal.

- Right, Dawn?
- Cold feet are normal.

- See that?
- But you got to listen

- to your heart.
- I know.

- What the fuck?
- Mo, shut up!

Listen, find the person
you want to be with

based on who they are,
not who they aren't.

Trust me, if you pick a Ted
just because a bunch of Jakes

broke your heart,
you're gonna be lonely.

W-wait, wait, wait.
W-who's Ted and Jake?

- Sixteen Candles.
- Sixteen Candles.

That movie's fucked.
Long Duk Dong?

Talk about a goddamn
minstrel show right there.

All right, the point is,
if you marry the wrong person,

you will regret it
every day.

Well, just 'cause Dawn
should've married her bad boy--

- This isn't about you.
- [Mo] Oh.

This isn't about Spencer.
This is about me.

This me. Tiffa-me.

[Mo] Well, you used "me"
as a metaphor.

- No, I didn't.
- Uh, I'm pretty sure

- that you did.
- How am I a Ted? I am a Jake.

I've always reminded myself
of a Jake.

You're Ted tip to tush.
T-E-D, Ted.

You're a little Teddy bear.

Tiff and Blair are perfect
for each other.

You don't know that,
and I don't know that.

Only they know that.

Guys, it's really
fucking simple.

- Are you in love?
- Yes.

[Dawn] Are you in love? Hmm?

♪♪♪

- I--
- Hey, slut!

You came!

Sluts. [laughs]

Sorry we're late.
We were pre-gaming at Bunny's

with a new Bartles & Jaymes
flavor.

And long story short,
we ralphed.

[Bunny and Kayla]
It was a prototype!

And if we're being honest,

after your whole engagement
party fiasco,

we just thought you might call
the whole wedding off.

[laughs]

Call off the wedding?
Call off the wedding?

Call off--off the wedding?

Call off the wedding?

Okay, as if, slut!

- [Tiff] That's so ghetto.
- Oh, okay.

Blair and I are stronger
than ever, right, Blair?

- Ooh!
- [Bunny] Thank God!

'Cause for a second there,
I was like, "Ew."

- [Tiff] Ew!
- Now let's go to Danceteria!

This place is so last weekend.

They're letting anyone in.

No offense.

Are you trying
to get Jap slapped?

I will fucking knock
this Barbie bitch's head

off the fucking neck.

Dawn, thank you so much
for the talk.

- [Tosh] Bye.
- You made me realize that Blair

and I are perfect
for each other.

[Tiff] Bye, Care Blair.

[sputters loudly]
Bye, guys.

- [Mo chuckles] Oh.
- [Tiff] Wait for me, girls!

Have fun, ladies!

[laughs]

What was that bullshit?

It wasn't bullshit.

[inhales sharply]
I got to go.

- [sighs]
- Okay, well, good night.

[Dawn] Fuck you, Mo.

Eh, pbbt!
Chicks, right?

- You know what we need to do?
- I can't marry Tiff.

What do you--what do you mean
you can't marry Tiff?

Of course you're gonna
marry Tiff.

- You're not the boss of me.
- Technically...

At work, yes,
but Tiff is not work.

I mean, yes, she can be
very trying at times,

but-but why are you so invested
in my relationship?

Because I am literally invested.

What?

[Mo sighs]

Okay, I'm gonna confess
something to you.

I know.

You fucked with the toothbrush
in my desk.

But that is just a decoy,

as is the toothbrush
in the supply closet.

- My real toothbrush--
- Is in a Ziploc bag

in the bathroom in the ceiling
tile, second stall.

- Oh, dear God.
- That's not the thing.

Listen, Blair, I--

[sighs]

♪ tense music ♪

Okay, when I said
we were friends,

that was real--
I meant that.

But the truth is,
I've been playing you, kid...

from the beginning.

The coke, the arrest, it was--
it was a con.

I was trying to make sure
that you worked for me

so that I could, you know, work
on getting those sweet, sweet

ungettable Georgina
family shares,

but that was before
we were boys.

Now just listen.
Before you say anything,

I want you to think, 'cause
if there's one thing I know

about you,
it's that you're smart.

Now, you just said that
you cannot marry Tiff, right?

So you're gonna break
her heart anyway.

I mean, why not give her
the wedding of her dreams first?

Let's run the Georgina play--
me and you,

together, as a team.

It makes sense.

I mean,
it makes more than cents.

It makes dollars. It makes tens
of millions of dollars.

For us.
For two guys who were never

handed a fucking thing
their whole goddamn lives.

♪♪♪

Let's do it.

What do you say?

♪♪♪

[inhales sharply]

Fuck you.

I'm gonna tell Tiff everything.

And, Maurice...

I quit.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, hey. What's up, man?
Good to see you.

[pop music playing
over speakers]

Oh, well, well, well.
Welcome, welcome.

Mm.
Sorry I'm late.

- I, uh, I got caught up.
- Hey, hey, no problemo, Kiki!

- Hey, um...
- [laughs]

- I, um...
- [laughs]

Can I--
can I give you something?

- Uh, yes?
- Okay. I'll--just hold on here.

Okay.

This, um,
is very special to me.

I want you...

- Mm!
- To have it.

- Oh, here, just--okay.
- What is happening?

All right, yeah.

Yeah! Here, take a look.
Take a look.

- Oh!
- You like it?

Yeah, I love it.

I want you to know that
no matter what goes down...

- ...I will always love you.
- [laughs]

And you say
I'm the dramatic one.

- Well...
- This is like a scene

from "Steel Fagnolias."

I would've said
"Terms of Enqueerment."

- How dare you?
- Oh, come on.

Oh, here, drink your juice,
Shelby.

Oh, okay, yeah.
"Help my daughter."

- Okay.
- Oh! [laughs]

Bingo.

♪♪♪

[door closes]

[inhales sharply]
Listen, Spence.

- I'm sorry.
- No, baby, I'm sorry.

You know, I've been sitting
here, annoyed

that we missed a night together.

But work's a big part
of who you are,

and I love who you are.

And I'll take
however much of you I can get.

Hey, at least you made it back
in time for the comet.

I want a divorce.

♪ dramatic music ♪

♪♪♪

What?

♪♪♪

[sirens wailing distantly]

♪♪♪

[exhales deeply]

- [screaming]
- Tiff?

- Oh, my God! Aah!
- Tiff!

Help me! Help me!
Get your hands off me!

Oh! Ah!

[Tiff] Blair, call my dad!

Tiff!

♪♪♪

♪ dramatic percussive music ♪

♪♪♪

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