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1
00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:03,971
Um, hello?
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,840
Hi. Is somebody there?
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,342
Is this, uh...?
4
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,743
(man speaking indistinctly
over intercom)
5
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,745
Oh. Can you repeat that?
6
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,347
I can't understand
what you're saying.
7
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,016
(man speaking indistinctly
over intercom)
8
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,651
Okay, great.
9
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,554
Um, I've been told
that you have,
10
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:24,258
uh, a room
with a heart-shaped tub.
11
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:27,495
A tub that is, uh,
shaped like a heart.
12
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,664
MANAGER (heavy accent):
No reservations. Cash in hour.
13
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,266
Oh, okay.
14
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,535
Um... listen,
we would only need it
15
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,204
for about three hours.
16
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,006
MANAGER:
Cleaning now. Now clean. Someone clean room.
17
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,874
Okay, good. Good.
18
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,710
Clean is good.
I love clean.
19
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,078
I pay now?
20
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,379
MANAGER:
Wait 40 minutes.
21
00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:47,047
You pay.
40 minutes.
22
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,183
I have to wait 40...?
23
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:52,052
Can I reserve it?
24
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,721
Ugh.
25
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,727
Ugh!
26
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,531
I don't know about this, dude.
27
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,666
You never, ever support me.
28
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,369
I do support you.
29
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,805
I'm in the middle of East L.A.
renting you a sex motel room.
30
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,274
You could get pregnant
31
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:16,277
from bumping into the furniture
in this hotel.
32
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,911
Sorry, Mom.
Not all of us knew
33
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:21,115
we wanted to be actors
at age nine or whatever.
34
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,817
Honey, I support you. Okay?
35
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,819
I support your vision.
36
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,589
What is your vision, by the way?
37
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,491
We need to shoot here.
38
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,826
This is the original motel
from the '40s
39
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,996
with, like,
the first heart-shaped tubs
40
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:40,234
and, like, the decay
and-and all that.
41
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,902
Mm-hmm.
42
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,505
Never mind.
You wouldn't get it.
43
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,275
Of course I get it.
I was young once, too.
44
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,611
I used to do shit like this
all the time.
45
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,780
One time, my friends and I...
46
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,487
I support you. I do.
47
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,990
You're really following through.
48
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,758
Good for you.
49
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,795
I can't wait
to see the pictures.
50
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,963
Thanks, Mom.
51
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,334
-(sighs)
-You can go now.
52
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,702
Oh, no way.
53
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,037
I ain't leaving you here alone.
Nope.
54
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,939
We will wait.
55
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,874
(chanting):
I love the cleaning.
56
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,210
Keep on cleaning.
57
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,345
Wax on, wax off.
58
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,781
Okay.
59
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,884
(laughs):
Whoa!
60
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,321
Ha-ha! Smells like my 20s.
61
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,855
Really?
(chuckles)
62
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,657
Yes.
63
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,692
-Oh, it's great.
-Okay, please try
64
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:41,229
not to touch any surface
of this room
65
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,663
with your bare skin.
66
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,997
Okay, Mom. Thanks.
67
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,399
-You can go now.
-(footsteps approaching)
68
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,000
-Okay.
-(Paisley chuckles)
69
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,337
-Sam, hi!
-Hi.
70
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,004
-Hi, baby.
-Dude, this place...
71
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,139
-C'est magnifique.
-You look beautiful.
72
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,007
Sam, bonjour.
73
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,344
-Bonjour. Ca va?
-Ca va très bien.
74
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,512
This is, like,
super professional...
75
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,914
set up, nice, cool.
76
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,550
Oh.
77
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,552
Is that what you're gonna wear?
78
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,687
Hmm. Okay.
79
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,088
-Well, yeah.
-Okay, Mom. We're good.
80
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,523
We only have three hours.
81
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,159
So, you like the part
where I drive you
82
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,428
and I pay for the things, hmm?
83
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,430
-Ollivier can drive me back.
-I'll-I'll make sure
84
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,232
your daughter gets home safely,
Sam, okay?
85
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,501
And thank you so much
for everything that you've done.
86
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,436
For the film, for the lens,
87
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,838
for creating
such a talented daughter.
88
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,474
C'est vraiment joli.
89
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,510
Cute.
90
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,879
So sweet. Oh.
91
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,281
Oh, okay.
92
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,215
Changing right there.
Paisley.
93
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,217
-(Paisley laughs)
-Okay, so,
94
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,720
you have to lock this door
and let no people in.
95
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,622
No person. Nobody.
96
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:42,890
-Bien sûr, belle-mère.
No problem. -Okay?
97
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,024
-I got it.
-Okay.
98
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,626
And, uh, I got...
99
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,261
Here's your water,
100
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,963
and here is some Purell,
101
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,400
and there's healthy snacks
in here,
102
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,967
but don't take them out
and put them
103
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,136
on the surface
of the bureau, okay?
104
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,473
-So, just, um,
barricade this door. -Yes.
105
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:02,443
I mean barricade it. Like,
put that in front of it, okay?
106
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,878
'Cause if anybody walks in here
and sees this,
107
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,448
I could get arrested.
What's happening?
108
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,483
I feel like I'm in trouble.
109
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,760
You working?
110
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,161
What?
111
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,230
You working?
112
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,499
Am I working?
113
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,834
(chuckles):
No...
114
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,969
Oh, yeah. Am I working?
115
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,872
(laughs)
No.
116
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,908
Okay.
117
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,944
(engine starts)
118
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,947
Hang on.
Can I ask you something?
119
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,482
Yeah.
120
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,251
What's the going rate
121
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,253
for someone like me?
122
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,188
(chuckles)
Depends.
123
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,757
On what?
124
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,359
It's a buyer's market.
125
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,528
So... 15 minutes.
126
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,163
What's a good offer?
127
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,633
The top ain't bad,
but how's your caboose?
128
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,802
It's-it's a nice caboose.
129
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,871
It's tight and high.
130
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,373
Let me see.
131
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,543
(clears throat)
132
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:14,314
-35.
-35?
133
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,550
I was thinking 40,
134
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,819
but the hand brace took it down.
135
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,021
Oh.
136
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:24,224
Mm. Okay.
137
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,860
(sighs)
138
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,562
(engine starts)
139
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:30,498
-See you around.
-Have a nice day.
140
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,572
I love that fucking car.
141
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,343
MAN:
Blue, purple
142
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:46,013
and rainbow confetti.
143
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,415
Yellow,
144
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,050
green, pink.
145
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,321
Fat carrot.
146
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,690
Eggs with mustache.
147
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,560
Eggs as basketballs, baseballs.
148
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:02,496
Baby chicken being born
in a pot of tea.
149
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,665
Straw coming out
of his head.
150
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,333
Can I get
five gold star balloons
151
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,235
and the letter K?
Do you have the letter K?
152
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,405
-WOMAN (over phone):
And H and J. -The letters H and J.
153
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,706
Mylar or latex?
154
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,708
-WOMAN: Mylar.
-Mylar.
155
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,944
-We're out of Mylar.
-They're out of Mylar.
156
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,246
You can't be serious.
They're out of Mylar?
157
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,181
-Out of Mylar.
-Oh, my God. That's ridiculous.
158
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,051
-Fine. I'll just do latex.
-(hangs up)
159
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,586
Can you tell me...
160
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,689
is there a way to drive
with balloons? Like,
161
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,024
is there, like, a protocol
for blown-up balloons
162
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,893
for, like, visibility?
163
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,528
Well, that's up to you
and how you drive.
164
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,029
You know what I'm saying?
165
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,665
("Candy" by The Litter playing)
166
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:47,207
* Would you like a little piece
of candy, girl? *
167
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,477
* I think you'd like it a lot *
168
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:53,581
* But would you like a little
piece of candy, girl? *
169
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,083
* Only piece I've got *
170
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,986
* It was given to me,
I can't get any more *
171
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,923
* You are the one I got it for *
172
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,826
* Would you like a little piece
of candy, girl? *
173
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,295
* Only piece I got... *
174
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:17,404
* It's all wrapped up
in cellophane *
175
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,307
* Especially for you *
176
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,811
* It's a pretty,
little candy cane *
177
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:26,514
* Hope you like it, too *
178
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,082
* I wrapped it gently,
don't let it... *
179
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,083
MAX:
That's so cute.
180
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,085
* It's the only piece of candy *
181
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,621
* Can't get any more... *
182
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:36,123
Can you turn your head
a little bit more to the right?
183
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,324
* Candy, girl? *
184
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,692
That's awesome.
185
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,828
(camera clicking)
186
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,163
-Can you just face that
down a little, please? -Of course.
187
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,965
-Oh, that looks awesome.
-PAISLEY: Right?
188
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,200
-Good night.
-OLLIVIER: Night.
189
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,702
(door closes)
190
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:55,375
* Now you've got
your candy, girl *
191
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,378
-* Hope it pleases you *
-* Ooh, ah *
192
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:01,014
* I wish you had
some candy, girl *
193
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:04,451
-* You could give me, too *
-* Ooh, ah *
194
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,021
* It was given to me,
I can't get anymore *
195
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:10,691
* You're the one I got it for *
196
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:14,562
* Oh, would you like a little
piece of candy, girl? *
197
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,698
* Only piece I got... *
198
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,205
(doorbell rings)
199
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,707
(barking)
200
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,709
-Hey.
-SAM: Oh, hi.
201
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,378
Whoa! Thank you.
202
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,681
Oh. Really?
203
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,918
Real-oh?
204
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,987
Huh.
205
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,288
(Ollivier reading)
206
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,861
-(sighs) Hashtag he fucked her.
-* Only piece I've got. *
207
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,700
-Bape up.
-Hmm.
208
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,668
-Time to bape up.
-Hmm?
209
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,536
Don't you want
to come and see what
210
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,438
(in deep voice):
the Easter Bunny left you?
211
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,108
* Candy *
212
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,210
* I call my sugar Candy *
213
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,879
Good morning.
Good morning.
214
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:08,248
-* Because I'm sweet
on Candy... * -The Easter Bunny came.
215
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,751
-What do you think about that?
-Oh, my God.
216
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,386
Mom, must we with the charade?
217
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,088
Yes, we must!
218
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,124
We must! Good morning!
219
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:20,728
How are you?
Guess what?
220
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,797
Candy. Candy for breakfast.
221
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,266
Peter Cottontail is downstairs.
Let's go!
222
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,135
JASON:
Thank you, Mom.
223
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,804
-* When I need sympathy... *
-(giggling)
224
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,372
Phil!
225
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,075
I didn't find my name
on a basket.
226
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,244
You don't get a basket.
You're Jewish.
227
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,747
(laughs)
Darling, you better hurry.
228
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,314
It's a brunch, you know,
229
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,717
and the food always goes cold
if you're late.
230
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:47,387
Oh, I'm not going,
but I made a nice cake for you
231
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,389
-to bring to Walter.
-You certainly are going.
232
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,291
I'm not going on my own.
233
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,593
-(with British accent): You are.
-Yes!
234
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:54,995
-What?!
-Ooh, candy!
235
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,596
-(Sam chuckles)
-You said
236
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,732
-you were coming with me.
-I never said that.
237
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,935
-I was never going.
-Then I'll take Duke.
238
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:05,238
Duke wants to stay home with me.
Don't you, honey?
239
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,241
There are gonna be games,
and an Easter egg hunt
240
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,743
and all sorts of things.
241
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,311
-I'll go.
-Hmm?
242
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,114
Is it okay, Mom?
243
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:17,317
Not that you asked, but I think
this whole holiday is offensive.
244
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:21,021
Like, it's-it's basically
marking the fertility of women.
245
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,690
Like, the beginning
of breeding season.
246
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,158
But we like the candy.
247
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:28,829
Duke, grab your basket,
go upstairs and get dressed.
248
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:32,365
You're going with Nan to
her married boyfriend's house.
249
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,334
DUKE:
Okay.
250
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,472
FRANKIE:
Mm, come on. Let's go upstairs.
251
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,541
His wife is 82,
252
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,643
and she has advanced Alzheimer's
253
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,179
and sits in a chair
all day long.
254
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:49,349
But doesn't it feel
disrespectful to her?
255
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,852
I mean, how do you think
that she feels?
256
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:55,022
Oh, Pipsqueak, if you haven't
worked this out by now,
257
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,457
life gets very complicated.
258
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,460
When you're young
and someone's married,
259
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,062
it's an automatic no.
260
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,564
But as you get older,
261
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:07,701
you see that... sometimes
262
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,303
some people find themselves
in situations
263
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,072
that are untenable.
264
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,908
And yet they can't
leave a marriage.
265
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,244
There's insurance and children
266
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,679
and illness, property.
267
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,314
There's a million reasons
268
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,150
why they stay together
when they shouldn't.
269
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,518
So the question doesn't become
270
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,921
"Are you married"
271
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:30,924
but "How married are you?"
272
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,761
Hmm.
273
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:37,664
And to answer your question,
"How does his wife feel?"
274
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,934
I think she sits in a chair
and drools all day long.
275
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,903
That's what I think.
276
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,172
That cake is adorable,
by the way.
277
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,907
Put it in the tin.
278
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,176
Ta-ra.
279
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,511
(indistinct chatter)
280
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,614
(music playing)
281
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,549
Oh, look who's here.
(laughs)
282
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,951
Happy, happy.
283
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,686
-I brought you a cake.
-Ah.
284
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,088
Old family recipe.
285
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,924
Thank you, sweetheart. Mmm.
286
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,697
My... (clears throat)
My sister Delia.
287
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,934
-This is my friend Phyllis.
-Hello.
288
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,806
Uh, Duke, uh,
289
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,274
you go downstairs
with the kids, 'cause
290
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,643
they're hiding
the Easter eggs out back.
291
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,746
-Okay.
-Okay.
292
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,582
So, you're the British lady
293
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,651
this guy can't stop
squawking about.
294
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,821
(laughs) I'm Jeremy,
blessed with the best genes
295
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,655
of all the bunch.
296
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,258
-And such a humble man at that.
-(laughs)
297
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,127
(chuckles)
Get out of here.
298
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,129
(Jeremy chuckles)
299
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,231
This is so pretty.
300
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,467
WALTER:
May the 57th annual
301
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,804
Stanton Family
Easter Egg Hunt...
302
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:51,972
begin!
303
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,307
(applause)
304
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,775
* Candy *
305
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,778
* I call my sugar Candy *
306
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,747
-Hi.
-Hi.
307
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,416
* Because I'm sweet on candy *
308
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,918
Oh.
309
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,153
-* And Candy's sweet on me *
-Oh...
310
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,021
(quietly):
There's more over there.
311
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:09,289
DUKE (whispering):
Okay. Found one.
312
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:13,693
* She understands me *
313
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,095
* My understanding... *
314
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,931
Aah! Ow.
315
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,301
(indistinct shouting
and chatter)
316
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:24,337
-Ah, is it bleeding?
-It's just a little scratch.
317
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,008
Get back in there.
Eye on the prize.
318
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,043
Are you sure
she didn't cut her cornea?
319
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,778
Are you seeing blurry, honey?
320
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,981
-Hmm.
-No, she's just fine.
321
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:37,450
Tough as nails.
There we are.
322
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,286
I've got some Neosporin
in the house.
323
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,520
Let me fix you up, sweetie.
324
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,623
Come on, sweetie.
325
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,657
Let me fill up your basket,
dear.
326
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,860
-DUKE: Oh.
-Go on.
327
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,330
*
328
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,908
(boy yells)
329
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,213
JEREMY:
Come on out.
330
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,680
(grunts)
331
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,717
You got wet?
(laughs)
332
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,889
-GIRL:
...the wrapped ones. -* Candy *
333
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:19,359
-No. Those are the...
-* It's gonna be just dandy *
334
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,261
-Ah.
-* The day I take *
335
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,730
* My Candy *
336
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,566
* And make her mine, all mine. *
337
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,801
You know Theresa.
338
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,375
(Phyllis mumbles)
339
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,949
PHYLLIS:
You know...
340
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:45,285
when your mother
got pregnant with your sister,
341
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,420
I told her
she had to get married
342
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,590
to your father right away,
but she didn't want to do that.
343
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,726
So I told her she had
to get an abortion right away.
344
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,063
She didn't want
to do that, either.
345
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:59,399
She never really loved
your father.
346
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,434
I suppose that's why
347
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,770
the marriage was doomed
from the outset.
348
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:09,142
These are things you should
know, my little angel.
349
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,278
(door opens)
350
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,483
Hey, little big man.
351
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,818
-Hi, Uncle Marion!
-(Marion laughs)
352
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,588
(laughs)
Time to go, Phil.
353
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,723
What are you doing here?
354
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,926
You called me to pick you up?
Hmm? Let's go.
355
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,229
Well, I haven't
finished my drink.
356
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,897
Ah, that means
we can be here ten more days.
357
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,399
-(Duke laughs)
-Come on.
358
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,401
Why such a rush?
359
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,170
It's not
as if you have anywhere to be.
360
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:39,439
-Careful.
-It's the truth.
361
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,142
You have no place to be.
You never have any place to be.
362
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,510
That's enough.
363
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,114
You've been play-acting
some busy-busy
364
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,849
since you crashed into
California.
365
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,219
One second.
366
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,424
You cannot speak to me that way.
367
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,926
(laughs) I can speak to you
any way I like.
368
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,695
You apologize.
Now.
369
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,864
Little Lord Fauntleroy.
370
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,533
I mean it, Phil.
Say you're sorry.
371
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,269
Well, I do feel sorry.
372
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,537
-Do you?
-I feel sorry
373
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,605
that you are as insecure
as your father.
374
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,007
But at least he had
375
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,675
-a sense of humor.
-No more. This is it.
376
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:19,146
Red line drawn.
I demand a statement of remorse.
377
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,147
A what?
378
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,548
A statement of remorse!
379
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,649
For what?
380
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,351
For everything. For e...
381
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:25,785
everything!
382
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,787
Pull yourself together.
383
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,556
Making a scene.
384
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,491
I want a statement of remorse,
Phil.
385
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,726
For the last 53 years of my life
386
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,395
-with you.
And I'm not leaving here -(scoffs)
387
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,065
-until I get it.
-Oh, the dramatics.
388
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,333
The neglected Marion.
389
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,968
No one's even asked me
why I'm still out here.
390
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,371
Darling, no one needs to ask.
391
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,639
We all know
that little toad of a wife
392
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,375
kicked you
to the curb months ago,
393
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,211
but we've been too polite
to mention it.
394
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,214
Come on.
395
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,285
Let's get away from Satan.
396
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,390
Hey.
397
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,092
Piece of pie?
398
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,227
Something sweet for my sweet?
Hmm?
399
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,898
-I think I'll just go
and freshen up for a moment. -Hmm? Hmm? No. No, no.
400
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,601
No, sit. Sit down. Sit.
401
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,069
(sighs)
402
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:19,106
Family is complicated.
403
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,574
It always has been.
404
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:26,413
But when you round out enough
of these holidays,
405
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,780
focus on the good.
406
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:30,117
Life is too short.
407
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,056
I'm glad you came today.
408
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,525
Thank you, dear.
409
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,959
Okay.
410
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:52,004
Is it true that my mom
didn't want to marry my dad?
411
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,642
I'm not gonna even ask
where you heard that from.
412
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,314
My mom didn't love my dad?
413
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,593
(engine shuts off)
414
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,762
Look, kid,
I'm gonna tell you something
415
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,431
your mother never will
or has to.
416
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,900
Your father's an asshole.
417
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,404
(sighs)
And it's important that you...
418
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,774
are respectful and find love
in your heart for your father.
419
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,109
But I'm telling you, kid,
420
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:34,080
he is a yoiner and a putz
and a complete schmuck.
421
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,617
Unfortunately, we don't get
to choose our parents.
422
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,787
Just have to play
the hand we're dealt.
423
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,122
And the sooner you see
your father for who he is,
424
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,392
the sooner you can
move on in life.
425
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,630
And, look...
426
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,032
just because your father
is a loser,
427
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,034
that does not rub off on you.
428
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,203
Okay?
429
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,505
It's not genetic.
It's not.
430
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,807
You're different, okay?
431
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,709
And not weird-different.
Cool.
432
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,377
Cool-different.
433
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,114
All right, and I've got
some other good news.
434
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,518
Your mother may be the greatest
mother in-in the world.
435
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,653
She's crazy
436
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,122
and a complete pain in the ass
437
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,291
and annoying,
438
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,126
but she loves you
439
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,662
and she would
do anything for you.
440
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,664
And the most important thing
in the world--
441
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,399
the most important thing--
442
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,202
is that she's there.
443
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,970
You wake up, she's there.
444
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,972
You go to sleep, she's there.
445
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,374
You need her, she's there.
446
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,509
You don't need her, she's there.
447
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,580
Even when she isn't there...
448
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,849
she's there.
449
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,420
She'll always be there,
450
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:50,390
and that is all that matters.
451
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,660
(engine starts)
452
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,729
Okay, what's my favorite
ice cream?
453
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,231
-Mint chip.
-That's true.
454
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,533
Let's go get some.
455
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,505
(toilet flushes)
456
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,540
(music playing in distance)
457
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:35,402
Well, you must be Esther.
458
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,870
Lovely to meet you.
459
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,907
I've heard so much about you.
460
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,710
I'm Phil.
461
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,779
I don't know
if Walter's told you about me,
462
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,381
but he's my friend.
463
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,783
My special friend.
464
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,753
He thinks the world of you.
465
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,963
(clears throat)
466
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,605
You have such pretty hair.
467
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:20,012
I was born behind the veil.
468
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,281
A caulbearer, they call it.
469
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:24,984
The amniotic sac
was still attached to my head
470
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,018
during birth.
471
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:27,153
Very rare.
472
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,288
Sign of good luck.
473
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,526
It's supposed to protect me
from drowning,
474
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,128
provide good fortune at court,
475
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,197
and grant safety
on the battlefield.
476
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:41,300
And I can also feel ghosts
and spirits
477
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,169
due to the caul.
478
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,773
(indistinct voices on TV)
479
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:50,109
So, you see,
I've always felt lucky.
480
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,944
You're lucky, too.
481
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:54,180
I lost my husband years ago.
482
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:55,848
So it's just me now.
483
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:57,350
And I do okay.
484
00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:59,452
Knock wood.
485
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:00,653
Oh.
486
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:02,522
(music swells on TV)
487
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,791
JUDY GARLAND:
* Never saw you look *
488
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:09,161
* Quite so pretty before *
489
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,631
* Never saw you dress *
490
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,299
* Quite so handsome *
491
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:16,235
* What's more *
492
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:18,505
* I could hardly wait *
493
00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:20,507
* To keep our date *
494
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:23,476
* This lovely Easter morning *
495
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:26,312
* And my heart beat fast *
496
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,747
* As I came *
497
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:31,183
* Through the door *
498
00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:34,186
* For... *
499
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:38,591
ESTHER (joining in):
* In your Easter bonnet *
500
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:42,862
* With all the frills upon it *
501
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:47,099
* You'll be
the grandest feller *
502
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:51,704
* In the Easter parade *
503
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:55,708
* I'll be all in clover *
504
00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:59,779
* And when they look us over *
505
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:03,950
* We'll be the proudest couple *
506
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:08,120
* In the Easter parade *
507
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:12,559
* On the avenue *
508
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:15,728
* Fifth Avenue... *
509
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:21,568
GARLAND: * The photographers
will snap us *
510
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:25,972
* And you'll find that
you're in the rotogravure *
511
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:29,776
* Oh, I could write a sonnet *
512
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:33,880
* About your Easter bonnet *
513
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:38,050
* And of the guy I'm taking *
514
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:42,889
* To the Easter parade *
515
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,390
*
516
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:48,628
FRED ASTAIRE:
* On the avenue *
517
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:52,431
* Fifth Avenue *
518
00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:53,866
* The photog... *
519
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:02,642
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
520
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,113
(grunts)
How did this happen? Uh!
521
00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:10,550
Have you been under
a lot of stress lately?
522
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,819
There's mean-girl issues
with my youngest,
523
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,487
and birth control
with my oldest.
524
00:24:14,521 --> 00:24:16,355
My boyfriend broke up with me.
525
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:17,890
-Which one?
-Um...
526
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:20,126
-And some mornings, I just...
-Oh, my God.
527
00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:23,730
Fun mom! Hey!
528
00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:26,198
Can you please arrange
for a pleasant dream while I'm under?
529
00:24:26,232 --> 00:24:28,901
-It's my specialty, dear.
-Guess what my specialty is.
530
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:29,969
(wheezing laugh)
531
00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:31,738
ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
532
00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:34,473
All new
Thursdays at 10:00 on FX.
533
00:24:34,523 --> 00:24:39,073
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