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1
00:00:01,264 --> 00:00:02,631
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:10,074
3
00:00:23,586 --> 00:00:25,720
(HUMMING)
4
00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:28,824
Mmm!
5
00:00:28,891 --> 00:00:30,024
(CHUCKLES)
6
00:00:30,092 --> 00:00:33,094
Shawn, I think I've
discovered a new taste treat.
7
00:00:33,162 --> 00:00:36,064
Cory, do you mind?
I'm in the middle of...
8
00:00:36,132 --> 00:00:37,465
Mmm! Cheesy.
9
00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,067
Prove that you love me.
10
00:00:42,739 --> 00:00:44,039
Look at her.
11
00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:46,774
Like a Waterpik,
this one.
12
00:00:46,842 --> 00:00:50,612
Hey! How come you never
lick the food off my teeth?
13
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,081
'Cause we're married now.
I don't have to.
14
00:00:53,216 --> 00:00:54,983
Okay, Cory, this is
your last question.
15
00:00:55,051 --> 00:00:57,385
"Do you ever have difficulty
performing in bed?"
16
00:00:58,888 --> 00:01:00,322
Why don't you tell me?
17
00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:02,523
(CHUCKLES) Yes.
18
00:01:05,361 --> 00:01:06,628
Hey! Topanga!
19
00:01:06,695 --> 00:01:07,862
All right, everyone.
Let's tabulate our scores.
20
00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:10,365
Hey! Last night,
I had a stummy ache.
21
00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:14,736
You didn't take care
of me, by the way.
22
00:01:14,803 --> 00:01:17,105
All right, let's see who's
gonna live the longest.
23
00:01:17,173 --> 00:01:19,141
Peaches, I can't help but
notice that you're ignoring me.
24
00:01:19,208 --> 00:01:22,744
Okay, Shawn and Angela are going
to live well into their 80s.
25
00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:25,080
According to this,
I should live to be 100.
26
00:01:25,147 --> 00:01:26,381
This is fun!
27
00:01:27,450 --> 00:01:28,417
What about me?
28
00:01:28,484 --> 00:01:29,984
What about my longevity?
29
00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:31,686
Okay, Cory, you got...
30
00:01:32,989 --> 00:01:35,223
Hmm. Good for you, honey.
31
00:01:35,291 --> 00:01:38,026
Good for Cor! I'm gonna
live to be 100, too.
32
00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:39,227
(CHUCKLES) No.
33
00:01:39,295 --> 00:01:42,964
You've proved these people wrong
by being alive right now.
34
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:47,502
Let me see that!
35
00:01:48,638 --> 00:01:50,738
Cory, it's just
a magazine.
36
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,275
Yeah. You're not gonna take
this seriously, are you?
37
00:01:53,342 --> 00:01:55,577
You guys wanna know
what's weird about this?
38
00:01:55,645 --> 00:01:58,246
Is that all of a sudden,
I can't feel my legs.
39
00:01:59,081 --> 00:01:59,948
Oh, here we go.
40
00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:01,182
(SIGHS)
41
00:02:02,885 --> 00:02:04,520
My life just
got really bad.
42
00:02:04,554 --> 00:02:06,621
Honey, your husband
can't feel his legs!
43
00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:08,357
What are we gonna
do about this?
44
00:02:09,658 --> 00:02:12,093
Movie? Anyone want
to see a movie?
45
00:02:12,161 --> 00:02:13,494
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
46
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,063
If you're not gonna
take care of me now,
47
00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,532
who's gonna take care
of me when I get old?
48
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,101
Movie! Ooh! It'll be
dark in a movie theater.
49
00:02:20,169 --> 00:02:21,836
Ooh!
CORY: Honey!
50
00:02:21,904 --> 00:02:24,505
I'm dying, and you're
going to a movie?
51
00:02:25,674 --> 00:02:26,942
Nice wife!
52
00:02:30,513 --> 00:02:32,280
Hello, wife!
53
00:02:32,348 --> 00:02:34,850
You'll never guess what happened
down at the store today.
54
00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:36,017
A customer came in?
55
00:02:36,119 --> 00:02:37,052
Yes. (LAUGHS)
56
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,987
And bought a tent.
57
00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:41,390
First one since that stinking
Blair Witch movie came out.
58
00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:43,691
You know what
this means, huh?
59
00:02:43,759 --> 00:02:46,128
People aren't afraid
of the woods anymore.
60
00:02:46,195 --> 00:02:47,596
They're camping again!
61
00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:50,999
Yes! Life is good!
Nothing can stop us now!
62
00:02:56,005 --> 00:02:58,239
I've decided to join
the family business.
63
00:02:59,174 --> 00:03:02,577
No, no, no.
64
00:03:02,645 --> 00:03:05,279
Is this, like, the happiest
day of your life or what?
65
00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:11,219
(STAMMERING) Eric, you
can't work in my store.
66
00:03:11,286 --> 00:03:13,355
Why not?
I sold it.
67
00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:15,624
It's gone.
68
00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:17,759
Sorry.
69
00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:19,027
Alan!
70
00:03:19,094 --> 00:03:20,262
Man, you know,
that's too bad
71
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,763
'cause Jack and Rachel
and I were thinking about
72
00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:23,398
what we were gonna
do with our lives and...
73
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,833
Yeah, you're a little freaked
out about graduation, huh?
74
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:25,968
Well, yeah, I was
until I realized that
75
00:03:26,035 --> 00:03:27,535
I wanted to work
with my dad.
76
00:03:29,405 --> 00:03:31,239
Too bad.
77
00:03:31,307 --> 00:03:33,442
Alan, this
is your son.
78
00:03:33,509 --> 00:03:35,810
Too bad.
79
00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:37,412
(WHISPERING) Amy, things are
just starting to turn around.
80
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,279
Shame on you!
81
00:03:38,447 --> 00:03:39,647
You work with him!
82
00:03:41,149 --> 00:03:43,451
Hey! What about school?
83
00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:45,587
Well, you know, I'm only
taking two classes,
84
00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,789
so I can actually put in a full
week Monday through Friday,
85
00:03:47,856 --> 00:03:49,524
but I won't work
on Saturday
86
00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:51,826
out of respect for my
Jewish peeps, you know?
87
00:03:51,894 --> 00:03:55,497
Alan, you remember how we were
worried about Eric's F-U-T-U-R-E?
88
00:03:55,565 --> 00:03:58,299
(LAUGHING) Oh, Ma! You don't have
to worry about my furniture.
89
00:04:00,703 --> 00:04:03,238
No, no, no! This would
be a great opportunity
90
00:04:03,306 --> 00:04:05,540
for him to get some
real-life work experience.
91
00:04:05,608 --> 00:04:06,975
You know, I was thinking
the same thing.
92
00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:09,711
And what could be better
than working with my dad?
93
00:04:11,213 --> 00:04:14,849
Meat-packing plants,
they're better.
94
00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:16,918
Because they're
in Wisconsin!
95
00:04:16,986 --> 00:04:18,253
Go to Wisconsin, Eric.
96
00:04:18,321 --> 00:04:21,223
(LAUGHING) Your
father's just kidding.
97
00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:22,457
Aren't you?
98
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,659
Yeah, I guess.
99
00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:26,627
Good, 'cause I got a lot of
neat ideas for the store.
100
00:04:26,695 --> 00:04:27,895
Here's one. Now,
try to follow me
101
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,730
'cause I'm gonna be
doing a lot of this.
102
00:04:29,798 --> 00:04:31,332
All right?
103
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:36,337
We hang little pine trees
off the real pine trees,
104
00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:39,140
to give that whole
forest the new-car smell.
105
00:04:43,946 --> 00:04:45,313
Did you see what
I just did there?
106
00:04:45,381 --> 00:04:47,582
See, I got a ton... I have so
many of these ideas, it's like...
107
00:04:47,649 --> 00:04:49,251
Kind of frazzles me
every once in a while,
108
00:04:49,318 --> 00:04:51,686
so I'm gonna go upstairs and keep
thinking about them, all right?
109
00:04:59,228 --> 00:05:02,631
Take this frying pan and hit me
on the head as hard as you can.
110
00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:03,698
Okay.
111
00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:08,704
Good morning.
112
00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:10,504
I couldn't deliver
a urine sample.
113
00:05:10,572 --> 00:05:12,507
No urine. Okay.
114
00:05:12,575 --> 00:05:14,342
So, what seems
to be the problem?
115
00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:15,911
Well, Doctor, I took
a test the other day,
116
00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:18,313
and it said that my type-A
personality and love of cheese
117
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,881
makes me a ticking bomb.
118
00:05:19,949 --> 00:05:21,015
Hmm. What kind of
a test did you take?
119
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,283
Couples magazine,
120
00:05:22,351 --> 00:05:23,718
Courteney Cox, David Arquette
skeet shooting issue.
121
00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:25,287
Good-looking fellow,
that Arquette boy.
122
00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:27,154
Thanks.
123
00:05:27,222 --> 00:05:29,424
So anyway, I was just, uh...
My longevity results revealed
124
00:05:29,492 --> 00:05:32,594
that I should have
actually died last Tuesday.
125
00:05:32,661 --> 00:05:33,595
Right, I see.
126
00:05:33,662 --> 00:05:36,163
(BLOOD PRESSURE BELT HISSES)
Hmm.
127
00:05:36,231 --> 00:05:37,933
Okay, I hate that
immediately.
128
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,702
Well, yeah, sometimes patients
get a little nervous coming in,
129
00:05:40,769 --> 00:05:42,303
their pressure goes up.
Oh, good.
130
00:05:42,371 --> 00:05:43,505
Although I'm just
not certain
131
00:05:43,573 --> 00:05:45,874
that's happening here
in your case.
132
00:05:45,942 --> 00:05:47,375
Wait a minute.
Doctor, do you...
133
00:05:47,443 --> 00:05:49,277
Do you really think there's
something wrong with me?
134
00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:51,713
Why? Would you like there
to be something wrong?
135
00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,115
No. Why would I want something
to be wrong with me?
136
00:05:54,182 --> 00:05:56,150
That would
just be crazy.
137
00:05:56,218 --> 00:05:58,319
Right. Do you have any history
of mental illness in the family?
138
00:05:58,354 --> 00:05:59,788
Uh, no, I don't.
139
00:05:59,855 --> 00:06:02,456
(STAMMERING) I do have an uncle
who thinks he's Sammy Sosa.
140
00:06:02,524 --> 00:06:04,025
Hmm. Institutionalized?
141
00:06:04,092 --> 00:06:05,359
Yeah, but they let him
out for spring training.
142
00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:07,062
Uh-huh.
143
00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:09,497
Uh, is there a reason you're asking
me all these serious questions?
144
00:06:09,565 --> 00:06:11,232
Mmm-hmm.
145
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,568
I see in my notes here you've got, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)
146
00:06:13,636 --> 00:06:14,869
Tummy ache, that
your brain hurts,
147
00:06:14,937 --> 00:06:16,337
and you've lost all
feeling in your legs.
148
00:06:16,405 --> 00:06:17,739
Yeah.
149
00:06:17,806 --> 00:06:18,840
Could you tell
my wife that?
150
00:06:18,908 --> 00:06:20,441
I want you to
write her a note.
151
00:06:20,509 --> 00:06:21,576
Right. It says here
you're a newlywed.
152
00:06:21,644 --> 00:06:22,710
Things going well
with the wife?
153
00:06:22,778 --> 00:06:24,345
Why? Because
she's not here?
154
00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:26,280
Is that what makes you
question my marriage?
155
00:06:26,348 --> 00:06:27,749
Ever have trouble
performing in bed?
156
00:06:29,251 --> 00:06:30,484
(SOFTLY) Why?
Did she call you?
157
00:06:31,954 --> 00:06:33,054
No, she didn't.
158
00:06:33,122 --> 00:06:34,622
You're very sensitive
about all this, aren't you?
159
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:36,258
Yes, I am, Doctor.
Are you gay?
160
00:06:38,027 --> 00:06:39,427
No, are you?
Yes, I am.
161
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,864
I'd like to check you
for a hernia now.
162
00:06:43,332 --> 00:06:44,632
Okay, good.
163
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,634
I want that and every
other test you got.
164
00:06:46,702 --> 00:06:49,371
Because we are not gonna stop until
we find something wrong with me.
165
00:06:49,438 --> 00:06:51,038
I'm a firm believer that the
patient knows his body best.
166
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,173
Where would you
like to start?
167
00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:54,942
My armpit hurts.
Right here. This one.
168
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,377
Right there. Okay, let's...
Mmm-hmm.
169
00:06:57,713 --> 00:06:59,180
And you should see him
with the customers.
170
00:06:59,248 --> 00:07:01,682
I'm telling you, this kid has
a real affinity for people.
171
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:04,152
Amy, everybody's
crazy about him.
172
00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:05,920
So Eric did good.
173
00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:08,456
Yeah, he actually did good.
174
00:07:08,524 --> 00:07:10,157
You seem surprised.
175
00:07:10,225 --> 00:07:12,360
Eric was always
a people person.
176
00:07:12,428 --> 00:07:16,798
Yeah, we know that, but we also
realize that Eric's, you know...
177
00:07:16,865 --> 00:07:18,066
Nuts.
178
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,568
No. Eccentric.
179
00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:22,136
Eric has always marched to the
beat of a different drum.
180
00:07:22,204 --> 00:07:23,405
Most creative people do.
181
00:07:23,472 --> 00:07:25,507
Well, I'm just
glad he did well.
182
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:28,242
Amy and I have spent a lot of
sleepless nights worrying about Eric.
183
00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:31,212
Well, of course I worried but I
always believed he'd be okay.
184
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,180
Yeah, well,
185
00:07:32,314 --> 00:07:34,248
I wasn't so sure.
Why?
186
00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:36,617
George, you're his teacher.
You know why.
187
00:07:36,685 --> 00:07:37,952
No, I'm afraid I don't.
188
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,654
Alan, what are
you getting at?
189
00:07:39,721 --> 00:07:42,791
(EXHALES) Nothing, okay?
Don't gang up on me.
190
00:07:42,858 --> 00:07:45,293
Eric always did
the best he could.
191
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,428
That's the most I can
ask from anybody.
192
00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:50,165
Well, we're talking about Eric
stepping out into the real world.
193
00:07:50,232 --> 00:07:51,766
It's not so
easy out there.
194
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:53,101
No, it isn't.
195
00:07:53,169 --> 00:07:56,004
And I understand your concern
for your children, Alan.
196
00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:59,740
Eric. I'm concerned about Eric. My
other kids are doing just fine.
197
00:07:59,808 --> 00:08:01,209
Howdy!
198
00:08:01,277 --> 00:08:04,645
Eric, your parents tell me you're
doing very well at the store.
199
00:08:04,713 --> 00:08:06,214
Really? Well,
you know what?
200
00:08:06,282 --> 00:08:07,815
This has been, like, one of
the greatest days of my life.
201
00:08:07,883 --> 00:08:09,284
You know, I'm telling
you something, Mr. Feeny.
202
00:08:09,351 --> 00:08:11,152
I think I finally
found my niece.
203
00:08:11,854 --> 00:08:13,020
Niche.
204
00:08:13,556 --> 00:08:14,622
Niche?
205
00:08:18,427 --> 00:08:19,727
Oh! Oh! Eric.
206
00:08:19,795 --> 00:08:23,264
Hey, I got something
to show you.
207
00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,405
Ma, look at that.
208
00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:33,608
"Matthews and Son
Outdoor Adventures."
209
00:08:33,675 --> 00:08:35,443
Alan, what is this?
210
00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:37,778
Oh, it's a mockup of the new
sign I'm gonna have made.
211
00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:40,782
Huh? What do you think
of that, George?
212
00:08:40,784 --> 00:08:42,984
I think it's,
uh, very nice.
213
00:08:43,051 --> 00:08:44,785
Feeny! Look at that.
214
00:08:44,853 --> 00:08:46,121
I got a job
after graduation.
215
00:08:46,188 --> 00:08:47,688
Look, "Matthews and Son."
216
00:08:47,756 --> 00:08:49,257
(LAUGHS)
217
00:08:49,325 --> 00:08:50,392
Looks like I finally
got a future.
218
00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:52,193
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks, man!
219
00:08:54,129 --> 00:08:55,697
He's got a future.
220
00:08:55,764 --> 00:08:57,499
He doesn't have to go out into
the world and get disappointed.
221
00:08:57,566 --> 00:08:59,301
That's what's important.
222
00:08:59,368 --> 00:09:01,569
No, there's one more
important thing.
223
00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:04,405
What? You have no
faith in your son.
224
00:09:10,979 --> 00:09:13,148
All right. Well,
thank you so much
225
00:09:13,215 --> 00:09:14,615
for shopping
my daddy's store,
226
00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,551
and, uh, you got
a good product here.
227
00:09:16,618 --> 00:09:17,752
If anything goes wrong
with it, come back,
228
00:09:17,819 --> 00:09:19,254
you talk to me, okay?
I'm Eric. Great.
229
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:22,189
Why don't I ring you up,
get you on your way?
230
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,959
You know, Eric seems
really comfortable here.
231
00:09:25,027 --> 00:09:27,128
Well, sure. He's with his dad.
It's a family store.
232
00:09:27,195 --> 00:09:28,563
Why wouldn't he
feel comfortable?
233
00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:30,398
(SIGHS) I wish
I was comfortable.
234
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:32,067
Yeah, I'd give anything to know
what I was gonna do with myself.
235
00:09:32,134 --> 00:09:33,168
What do you mean?
236
00:09:33,235 --> 00:09:35,136
We graduate in May.
Ugh.
237
00:09:35,204 --> 00:09:37,739
Yeah, four months, and we're
thrown out into the real world.
238
00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:39,674
You don't know
what you're gonna do?
239
00:09:39,741 --> 00:09:42,309
Well, you know what? All this time, I've
studied engineering and journalism.
240
00:09:42,377 --> 00:09:45,046
Now comes the time when I actually have
to choose between the two of them,
241
00:09:45,114 --> 00:09:46,581
and I want to be a
lawyer like Rachel. Ugh.
242
00:09:46,648 --> 00:09:48,616
Lawyer was, like,
eight careers ago.
243
00:09:48,684 --> 00:09:50,085
I don't want to be
a lawyer, either.
244
00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:52,653
You know what
I want to be?
245
00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:54,456
I want to be Eric.
246
00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,023
I mean, he's
the lucky one.
247
00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:58,059
Oh, come on. You're saying
that for my benefit.
248
00:09:58,127 --> 00:09:59,694
No. No.
No, really.
249
00:09:59,762 --> 00:10:02,363
Really, he's the only one
that has a handle on things.
250
00:10:02,431 --> 00:10:04,098
He is?
Yeah.
251
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,634
Yeah, I mean, he's got a job.
His future's all set.
252
00:10:07,903 --> 00:10:09,337
Yeah.
253
00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:11,205
He's the only one of you guys
whose future is all set.
254
00:10:11,273 --> 00:10:12,907
Imagine that.
255
00:10:12,974 --> 00:10:15,142
(BELL ON DOOR DINGS)
256
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,412
What do you think
about that, George?
257
00:10:17,479 --> 00:10:20,481
Hmm? Maybe you ought to go help
your other little lost sheep, huh?
258
00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:22,183
Go help them
find their way,
259
00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:24,118
because Eric's going
to be just fine.
260
00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:25,487
Alan...
261
00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:27,188
What? I'm a little
proud of my kid here.
262
00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:28,890
I admit I was a little
nervous for him...
263
00:10:28,957 --> 00:10:30,591
You never believed in him.
264
00:10:30,659 --> 00:10:32,360
No, I was a little
nervous for him.
265
00:10:32,427 --> 00:10:33,728
And you still don't
believe in him.
266
00:10:33,796 --> 00:10:35,630
You think he will
go out in the world
267
00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:36,865
and experience
disappointment,
268
00:10:36,932 --> 00:10:39,267
so you wanna
lock him up here.
269
00:10:39,335 --> 00:10:41,068
I thought if he would
be here with you,
270
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:43,671
he would gain experience
and confidence
271
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:45,139
and be ready to go
out in the world.
272
00:10:45,207 --> 00:10:47,642
And now, I think it might
be the worst place for him.
273
00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:50,511
He's safe here. And he's
a step ahead of them.
274
00:10:50,579 --> 00:10:52,313
So I was thinking
med school.
275
00:10:52,381 --> 00:10:53,481
You'd make
a great doctor.
276
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,083
Yeah, people
really love you.
277
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:56,617
Veterinarian.
278
00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:58,253
What? Yeah, I mean,
I love animals.
279
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,955
I always have, and I just
love to take care of them.
280
00:11:01,023 --> 00:11:02,256
You know,
I love animals, too.
281
00:11:02,324 --> 00:11:03,924
Would it be like,
like a little shop,
282
00:11:03,993 --> 00:11:06,694
and you'd help fix up little
kids' pets and stuff?
283
00:11:06,761 --> 00:11:07,828
Yeah, I want a bunch
of letters on the wall
284
00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,864
from little kids thanking
me for helping their dogs.
285
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,499
Oh.
286
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:13,601
What about the ones you'd
have to put to sleep?
287
00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:17,372
I'm gonna be a caterer.
288
00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:21,909
And you rather he was
confused like them?
289
00:11:21,977 --> 00:11:23,344
You know why
they're confused?
290
00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:24,879
Because they
have choices.
291
00:11:24,947 --> 00:11:28,249
They believe they are
capable of anything.
292
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:31,152
Amy, not everybody
is capable of anything.
293
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,889
Alan, eventually I have to
let my students graduate.
294
00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:36,490
I shelter them
as much as I can,
295
00:11:36,558 --> 00:11:39,060
but, finally, I have
to let them go.
296
00:11:39,128 --> 00:11:40,528
You know, we could
keep Eric here.
297
00:11:40,596 --> 00:11:42,530
We know
he would do fine.
298
00:11:42,598 --> 00:11:45,066
But we wouldn't know what
else he was capable of.
299
00:11:45,134 --> 00:11:46,468
And you know
what's worse?
300
00:11:46,535 --> 00:11:47,802
Neither would he.
301
00:11:48,437 --> 00:11:50,171
Well, that's very nice.
302
00:11:50,239 --> 00:11:51,906
You don't think I know
what's best for my son.
303
00:11:51,974 --> 00:11:55,276
Well, I think I do know
what's best for my son.
304
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:57,979
Now, if you
don't mind,
305
00:11:58,046 --> 00:11:59,713
we have a store to run.
306
00:11:59,781 --> 00:12:01,349
Excuse me.
307
00:12:06,922 --> 00:12:09,190
He's been planning his funeral.
I do the eulogy.
308
00:12:09,258 --> 00:12:11,259
You get to light
the eternal flame.
309
00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:12,693
This is all my fault.
310
00:12:12,761 --> 00:12:15,329
I should have never given him
that stupid Couples quiz.
311
00:12:15,397 --> 00:12:16,897
What did the doctor say?
312
00:12:16,965 --> 00:12:19,901
He stopped off there to get
his test results back.
313
00:12:19,969 --> 00:12:22,503
But what if he actually finds out
there's something wrong with him?
314
00:12:22,571 --> 00:12:24,339
Oh, there's something
wrong with him, honey.
315
00:12:25,907 --> 00:12:27,475
She means here.
316
00:12:29,377 --> 00:12:32,313
I know what she means! Don't you
think I know what she means?
317
00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:34,448
I know he's crazy!
I know everything.
318
00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:36,384
Do you wanna know what
he won't let me touch?
319
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,519
"No, not there!
I might get cancer."
320
00:12:40,222 --> 00:12:41,189
Where?
321
00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:47,661
Topanga, what if there actually
is something wrong with him?
322
00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:49,597
Oh, please. He's just doing
this because he's afraid
323
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:51,632
I'm not gonna take care
of him when he's 80.
324
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,501
He's just doing this
to get attention.
325
00:12:53,569 --> 00:12:54,435
He is?
326
00:12:54,503 --> 00:12:55,869
Yes.
327
00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:57,305
Well, why don't you
just give it to him?
328
00:12:57,372 --> 00:12:59,907
Because I'd rather give him
attention for acting normal.
329
00:12:59,974 --> 00:13:02,143
Oh, honey, we know that's
never gonna happen.
330
00:13:03,245 --> 00:13:04,545
You're right. It's not.
331
00:13:04,613 --> 00:13:06,447
I married a nut,
but aside from that,
332
00:13:06,515 --> 00:13:08,048
there's absolutely
nothing wrong with him.
333
00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:15,690
Hello, everyone.
334
00:13:18,159 --> 00:13:18,992
(DOOR SHUTS)
335
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,261
Here we are in hell.
336
00:13:21,563 --> 00:13:23,665
I'm glad you're
all here today.
337
00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:26,801
Cory?
Is there something wrong?
338
00:13:26,869 --> 00:13:29,070
Well, as you all know,
I just came from the doctor.
339
00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:30,905
You have something?
340
00:13:30,907 --> 00:13:33,241
Yes. I have something.
341
00:13:34,643 --> 00:13:36,744
You all made fun of me,
342
00:13:36,812 --> 00:13:38,746
but I have something, all right.
343
00:13:42,084 --> 00:13:43,117
It's all right here.
344
00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:45,552
Right here.
345
00:13:46,822 --> 00:13:48,522
You're my wife.
346
00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:49,457
Okay?
347
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,191
You have the right
to know first.
348
00:13:56,465 --> 00:13:57,598
What's it say?
349
00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:01,302
He has hypochondria.
350
00:14:02,971 --> 00:14:05,572
Chronic and severe
hypochondria.
351
00:14:07,909 --> 00:14:09,176
(VOICE BREAKING)
That's right.
352
00:14:10,912 --> 00:14:12,513
I'm a hypochondriac.
353
00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:17,785
Cory, it means that there's
nothing wrong with you.
354
00:14:17,852 --> 00:14:20,588
It means you create
stuff in your head.
355
00:14:20,656 --> 00:14:24,358
Yes, well, he gave
me these placebos.
356
00:14:24,426 --> 00:14:27,027
Placebos are what they give
to crazy people like you
357
00:14:27,095 --> 00:14:28,462
to make them think
they're being cured
358
00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:30,898
of something
they don't have!
359
00:14:30,966 --> 00:14:34,601
Hey! I have to be on these
for the rest of my life!
360
00:14:37,039 --> 00:14:39,173
Okay, so, what's
up for tonight?
361
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,641
SHAWN: Movie?
ANGELA: Movie.
362
00:14:44,846 --> 00:14:46,080
Cory?
363
00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:50,518
(STAMMERING) I have a tummy ache.
Ugh.
364
00:14:51,086 --> 00:14:52,019
Wait up.
365
00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:56,224
(DOOR CLOSING)
366
00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:00,361
I don't care what
that magazine said.
367
00:15:00,429 --> 00:15:02,130
He's gonna outlive all of us!
368
00:15:02,197 --> 00:15:03,764
But if he thinks that I'm
gonna take care of him
369
00:15:03,832 --> 00:15:05,933
for the rest of his
life, he's nuts!
370
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,668
Of course he is.
371
00:15:07,736 --> 00:15:08,869
That's why you
married him.
372
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,379
Do you want a blanket?
373
00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:20,948
Oh, that would be swell.
374
00:15:21,016 --> 00:15:23,450
But not wool. Wool
chafes my nippies.
375
00:15:26,789 --> 00:15:28,489
Do you want me to make
you some tea, then?
376
00:15:29,257 --> 00:15:30,491
You know what
I really want?
377
00:15:30,959 --> 00:15:31,725
What?
378
00:15:32,694 --> 00:15:34,328
I want you to come
and sit next to me
379
00:15:34,395 --> 00:15:36,163
and hold my hand
until I fall asleep.
380
00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:40,568
That's what you want?
381
00:15:40,636 --> 00:15:41,301
Yeah.
382
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,070
I do.
383
00:15:45,574 --> 00:15:47,341
(SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)
384
00:15:49,178 --> 00:15:51,278
Is this what our life
is gonna be like?
385
00:15:51,346 --> 00:15:53,848
(WHISPERING) Could you
talk softer? Just a little.
386
00:15:56,685 --> 00:15:59,187
(WHISPERING) Is this what
our life is gonna be like?
387
00:15:59,254 --> 00:16:03,057
Well, sometimes you'll be sick
and I'll take care of you.
388
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,958
That sounds nice.
389
00:16:05,026 --> 00:16:07,462
I just want to know that we'll
always take care of each other.
390
00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,264
Do you feel better?
391
00:16:10,299 --> 00:16:12,500
Well, isn't this better
than going to the movies?
392
00:16:13,235 --> 00:16:14,434
Yeah, it is.
393
00:16:14,836 --> 00:16:16,137
Then I feel better.
394
00:16:17,339 --> 00:16:19,073
Good.
395
00:16:19,141 --> 00:16:21,142
But I'm gonna
close my eyes now.
396
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,211
I think the placebos
are kicking in.
397
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,061
Just think,
last week,
398
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,497
I had no idea what I
wanted to do with my life.
399
00:16:42,564 --> 00:16:44,265
And now, I know just
what I should be.
400
00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:45,900
And you helped me
find out.
401
00:16:47,135 --> 00:16:50,337
Is this what you really
want to be, Eric?
402
00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:53,240
Sure. You know, I mean, I hear Jack
and Rachel talking all the time,
403
00:16:53,308 --> 00:16:56,043
you know, doctor, lawyer,
journalist, engineer.
404
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:58,812
Just... They all
sound really confused.
405
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,482
(LAUGHS) Remember when you
wanted to be a weatherman?
406
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,117
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
That was crazy, huh?
407
00:17:03,685 --> 00:17:05,153
Why?
408
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,021
Well, 'cause I could
never be that.
409
00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:10,190
Why not? Why couldn't
you be a weatherman?
410
00:17:10,258 --> 00:17:11,959
You really gotta be on the
ball to be a weatherman.
411
00:17:12,027 --> 00:17:16,463
I mean, you gotta know about
meteorology and all that stuff.
412
00:17:16,532 --> 00:17:20,234
Plus, I get really sad when people
lose their homes in floods.
413
00:17:20,301 --> 00:17:22,269
Would you rather work here
for the rest of your life,
414
00:17:22,337 --> 00:17:24,071
or would you rather
be a weatherman?
415
00:17:26,008 --> 00:17:27,542
I think I'd rather
be a veterinarian.
416
00:17:28,677 --> 00:17:30,010
What?
417
00:17:30,078 --> 00:17:31,712
Yeah. I mean, I heard
Rachel talking about it.
418
00:17:31,779 --> 00:17:33,814
It sounded like something
I'd want to do, too,
419
00:17:33,881 --> 00:17:35,516
but I can't be
that either, can I?
420
00:17:35,584 --> 00:17:38,185
Well, if you could be
anything you wanted to be,
421
00:17:38,253 --> 00:17:39,787
what would you choose?
422
00:17:39,855 --> 00:17:42,890
Either a veterinarian,
so I could help animals,
423
00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:45,693
or a weatherman, so I could warn
people when there's a flood...
424
00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:47,328
Or when there's sunshine.
425
00:17:47,396 --> 00:17:48,829
That's crazy, huh?
426
00:17:49,597 --> 00:17:51,065
No.
427
00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:52,499
No, it's not crazy.
428
00:17:53,635 --> 00:17:54,969
ERIC: Oh, great.
429
00:17:55,036 --> 00:17:56,803
Now I sound as confused
as these guys.
430
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:59,240
Yeah.
431
00:17:59,308 --> 00:18:01,108
Yeah, you do.
432
00:18:01,176 --> 00:18:02,543
So, you ready for dinner?
433
00:18:02,611 --> 00:18:04,612
Oh, no. You know what?
Not gonna be able to go.
434
00:18:04,679 --> 00:18:06,179
Tomorrow's the start
of the big ski season,
435
00:18:06,248 --> 00:18:07,848
so we're having
a big clearance sale.
436
00:18:07,915 --> 00:18:09,750
I gotta help my dad. You guys are
gonna have to go on without me.
437
00:18:09,818 --> 00:18:11,151
BOTH: Okay.
No!
438
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,121
Uh, no, I don't want you
to go on without him.
439
00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,358
You go with your friends.
440
00:18:17,425 --> 00:18:18,892
But all the skis.
I mean, we gotta...
441
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,394
Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of the skis.
442
00:18:21,129 --> 00:18:22,230
You sure you can
do this without me?
443
00:18:22,297 --> 00:18:23,798
I'm sure.
444
00:18:23,865 --> 00:18:26,066
You be with your friends.
445
00:18:26,134 --> 00:18:29,469
I belong here. You belong
with your friends.
446
00:18:30,204 --> 00:18:31,405
You sure?
447
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:33,808
I am. I am now.
448
00:18:34,576 --> 00:18:35,676
Okay.
449
00:18:37,813 --> 00:18:40,180
Hey, you know what?
I think I've got it.
450
00:18:40,248 --> 00:18:43,350
What about
architecture?
451
00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:46,120
Now that's something I think
you'd be good at. Sweet.
452
00:18:46,188 --> 00:18:48,355
RACHEL: I've decided
to be a corporate art buyer.
453
00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:50,023
Wow!
454
00:18:50,091 --> 00:18:51,192
What is that?
455
00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:52,259
I don't know.
456
00:18:52,326 --> 00:18:53,761
(LAUGHS) I think
I made it up.
457
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:55,896
Hi!
458
00:18:55,964 --> 00:18:58,231
Hey, Ma! Hey, Joshie! Hey!
459
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,467
Pediatrician!
460
00:19:00,535 --> 00:19:01,468
Me, too.
461
00:19:01,536 --> 00:19:03,037
Me, too.
462
00:19:03,104 --> 00:19:04,038
JACK: Well, then it's settled, then.
RACHEL: Good!
463
00:19:04,105 --> 00:19:05,373
ERIC: Good.
JACK: Great.
464
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,207
All right.
Let's go!
465
00:19:06,274 --> 00:19:07,374
Let's go.
Bye.
466
00:19:07,442 --> 00:19:09,410
Bye.
See you, baby brother.
467
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,148
He's a good kid, Amy.
He'll be okay.
468
00:19:14,215 --> 00:19:16,616
I'm scared for him.
I'm scared for all of them.
469
00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,318
Well, did you do
your best for him?
470
00:19:18,386 --> 00:19:19,720
I did.
471
00:19:19,787 --> 00:19:21,522
Then he'll be okay.
472
00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:22,623
He's your son.
473
00:19:22,691 --> 00:19:24,291
He's our son.
474
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,827
He's our son
out in the world.
475
00:19:26,894 --> 00:19:29,229
You shelter him as long as you can,
but then you gotta let him go.
476
00:19:29,297 --> 00:19:31,465
That's what we do, hmm?
477
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,535
How about you, Joshie?
478
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,371
How are you doing?
479
00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:40,474
(CHUCKLES)
480
00:19:55,223 --> 00:19:56,857
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
481
00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:58,092
I'll get it.
482
00:20:02,531 --> 00:20:04,665
Are you the wife?
Uh, Cory?
483
00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:06,533
It's nice to meet you.
484
00:20:06,601 --> 00:20:08,002
I'm Sammy Sosa.
485
00:20:10,171 --> 00:20:12,339
Uncle Morrie!
They let you out?
486
00:20:12,406 --> 00:20:14,641
I'm in town three days
to play against the Phillies.
487
00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,543
But it's January.
488
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:18,579
I'm nuts.
Didn't he tell you?
489
00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:20,247
And you came all
the way to see me?
490
00:20:20,315 --> 00:20:21,915
Come here! Hey!
491
00:20:21,983 --> 00:20:24,451
I heard you had the
"hypo-chondo-ria." Yeah.
492
00:20:26,821 --> 00:20:28,655
Can I make you some
tea, Uncle Morrie?
493
00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:29,690
Who?
494
00:20:29,758 --> 00:20:31,091
(STAMMERING)
Uncle Sammy Sosa.
495
00:20:34,529 --> 00:20:35,596
No tea.
496
00:20:35,664 --> 00:20:36,997
Tea makes me sleepy.
497
00:20:37,065 --> 00:20:38,866
You see, I gotta
keep wide awake
498
00:20:38,934 --> 00:20:41,635
so I can catch
that bum, McGwire.
499
00:20:41,703 --> 00:20:43,837
Nearly forgot.
Sit down!
500
00:20:43,905 --> 00:20:46,640
I brought you
an autographed baseball
501
00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,742
from all of the boys
at Sunnyvale.
502
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:50,678
Oh! Look at this.
Yeah.
503
00:20:50,745 --> 00:20:53,280
"Ken Griffey Jr., Orel
Hershiser..." Yup.
504
00:20:53,347 --> 00:20:55,182
"...Princess Margaret,
Patsy Cline,
505
00:20:55,249 --> 00:20:57,551
"Dagwood Bumstead,
Rin Tin Tin,
506
00:20:57,619 --> 00:21:00,187
"Catherine Zeta-Jones"!
507
00:21:00,255 --> 00:21:01,455
What's she like?
(LAUGHS)
508
00:21:03,024 --> 00:21:04,791
I'll tell you later
in the spaceship.
509
00:21:07,562 --> 00:21:09,730
Ah! There's the rest
of my outfield.
510
00:21:14,536 --> 00:21:16,003
Wait, wait, wait!
511
00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:17,304
You forgot him.
512
00:21:24,579 --> 00:21:25,846
Bye, honey.
Bye.
513
00:21:25,913 --> 00:21:27,047
I love you.
514
00:21:28,305 --> 00:21:34,384
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