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1
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,004
I suppose we could just fire him.
2
00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,507
Of course, we'll have to give
him three months' notice.
3
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,467
Stuff and nonsense.
Leave it to me.
4
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:19,471
I'll talk to the chairman and insist
on Mr Bean's immediate dismissal.
5
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,765
Now, then, back to the agenda.
6
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,059
The Grierson Gallery of California
7
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:28,814
has recently received
a private donation of $50 million
8
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:32,276
to spend on buying Whistler's
portrait of his mother
9
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,903
from the Mus�e d'Orsay in Paris.
10
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:41,285
It is quite simply the most historic purchase
made by an American gallery this century.
11
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,040
It's as simple as this.
12
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,751
The greatest painting ever
by an American artist
13
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,129
is returning at last to America.
14
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:56,800
From now on, Whistler's Mother lives
right here in Los Angeles,
15
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,135
where she belongs.
16
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,220
When will we actually see her?
17
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:04,099
The unveiling will be in about two weeks,
and you're all invited.
18
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:09,188
They've asked us to send a scholar
of great weight and substance
19
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:12,900
to preside over the ceremony
and stay on for a couple of months
20
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,485
of lectures and seminars.
21
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:18,238
Dr Rosenblum, Dr Cutler,
22
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:23,619
you both hold high claim
on this great honour.
23
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:29,666
-The chairman is here, sir.
-Excellent. Send him in.
24
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,252
Oh, and run and fetch
Mr Bean, will you?
25
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,797
-We're about to fire him.
-Marvellous.
26
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:40,344
Yes, Mr Bean is the worst employee
in the gallery's history.
27
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,721
Good afternoon, sir.
28
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,642
Sit down. Sit down.
29
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:31,728
Now, before we move on
to the major business of the day,
30
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,731
I should like to broach
the question of Mr Bean.
31
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,192
Now, Mr Bean has worked for us
for many years.
32
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,279
And will for many years to come.
33
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:44,992
I employed this splendid young man
when I was doing your job, Charles,
34
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:49,037
and you can have my resignation
if you go anywhere near him.
35
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,932
He's a fine young fellow.
36
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,519
Absolutely. Quite right.
37
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,189
Very well, moving on.
38
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:03,904
The Grierson Gallery of California needs
a representative of our great gallery.
39
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:08,367
They're looking for a scholar
of a very high standing.
40
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,620
I have therefore decided
to recommend for the post,
41
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:15,874
and the three-month sabbatical
that goes with it,
42
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,085
that splendid employee,
43
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,712
Mr Bean.
44
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,467
All those in favour?
45
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,635
Yes!
46
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,221
Excellent. Carried.
47
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,348
Our loss is America's gain.
48
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:38,271
David, got a letter
from the Royal National Gallery.
49
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:42,359
They're recommending a guy
called Bean to represent them.
50
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,610
Bean?
51
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,153
I can't say I've heard of him.
52
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,906
Well, the letter's signed
by Drs Rosenblum and Cutler.
53
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,075
-Well, that's impressive.
-They say,
54
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:53,912
"He's a man whose incontrovertible genius
dwarfs our own meagre talents."
55
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,081
Rosenblum and Cutler said that?
56
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,750
Well, you asked for England's top man.
I do believe I delivered him.
57
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,836
He certainly sounds like it.
58
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:06,091
However, before we confirm, Bernice here still
feels that we'd get more media attention
59
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:09,344
if we had someone from,
let's say, the entertainment industry.
60
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:13,598
I genuinely believe
that we could get Jon Bon Jovi.
61
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,018
Jon Bon Jovi?
62
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:21,189
-To unveil Whistler's Mother?
-Yes.
63
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,275
I've nothing against Jon Bon Jovi.
64
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:26,361
The man has had two great
hairstyles in the last 10 years,
65
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,780
which is an achievement
not to be sniffed at,
66
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,031
but so far as I know,
67
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:34,786
Mr Jovi knows absolutely nothing
about 19th-century lmpressionism.
68
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,205
He certainly hasn't mentioned it
in any of his recent songs.
69
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:40,542
-No, but David...
-This is not a rock video.
70
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,712
This is a great and
serious work of art,
71
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,840
and Dr Bean will give the
occasion depth and dignity.
72
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,970
-You're right. We go with Bean.
-George...
73
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,723
No, no, no, no,
David's our curator.
74
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:58,727
This is David's call. It's his
decision, his responsibility,
75
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,396
ultimately, his neck.
76
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:07,152
-And where do you want him to stay?
-I have a rather interesting idea.
77
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,070
Here?
78
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,073
In our house for two months?
79
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,411
David, what, suddenly there's
no hotels in Los Angeles?
80
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:19,247
Okay, there's no need to get excited here.
I just thought, you know,
81
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,167
this is the Royal National Gallery
of England's top man.
82
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,586
I thought he'd be very
exciting to have around,
83
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,755
to learn from and talk to and...
84
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,007
So do we know anything
about our new best friend?
85
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:32,594
No, but I think they might have mentioned
it if he was a notorious serial killer.
86
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,555
Are you feeling lucky, punk?
87
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,601
David, you know, we have an
expression in this country.
88
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,937
-lt says, "Over my dead body."
-Ali.
89
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,981
I'd like to put it on the table
right here and now.
90
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:49,736
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and
it could be seriously great for the kids.
91
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:54,324
-You're kidding.
-Come on, it's gonna be great!
92
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,076
Let's say there is a chart
93
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,329
of the most intelligent people
you've ever met in your life.
94
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:02,582
Well, at number one with
a bullet is Dr Bean.
95
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,210
Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask
me questions that I can't answer?
96
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:07,963
Like, "What is an
intrauterine device?"
97
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,590
Well, I think more like,
"What's the meaning of life?"
98
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,385
-I never asked you that.
-That's fine. It doesn't matter.
99
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:18,807
What I am saying here is that Dr
Bean is a very remarkable man.
100
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,142
Hey, for all you know,
he could be very cute.
101
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:27,649
Oh, come on, the guy is gonna be a creep.
All Englishmen are ugly.
102
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,985
I just look at Prince
Charles and weep.
103
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,279
Okay, so he's gonna look
like Meat Loaf's butt.
104
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,114
Yeah, and that's if we get lucky.
105
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:36,825
Jennifer, no one is
asking you to marry him.
106
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,411
You know, I don't know why we
have these family conferences
107
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,371
if Dad's already made up his mind.
108
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,665
-Perceptive child.
-Hey, what's wrong with Meat Loaf's butt?
109
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,334
Oh, come on, everybody,
it's gonna be great!
110
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,504
Dr Bean is a genius of
the very highest order.
111
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,007
Good evening.
112
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,177
No, sir, you're in
fact in first class.
113
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:59,514
Good evening.
114
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,194
Good evening, sir. May
I take your coat?
115
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,405
Thank you.
116
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,486
Good. Simple poster,
nice and big.
117
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,280
It's actual size. A
bargain at $9.99.
118
00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:00,408
- Spencer?
-Yes, sir.
119
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,202
Bath towel.
120
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,497
Yeah, pushing your luck
a little here, Walter.
121
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,917
It'll sell.
122
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,465
-It's Whistler's Sister.
-Oh, you are kidding.
123
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:19,928
No, sir, we have a range
for every member of the family.
124
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,139
Whistler's Mother's
Cookies, chocolate chip,
125
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,809
Whistler's Father's Beer Mug,
126
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,436
and here's a really cute one
for the younger-brother range,
127
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,813
-Whistler's Whistle.
- Yeah.
128
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,775
-You just blow up her ass. Here, try.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, l...
129
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,115
Mummy, I don't feel well.
130
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:06,474
I think I'm gonna be sick.
131
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,616
-Just here, sir.
- Your attention, please.
132
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,454
Welcome to Los Angeles
International Airport.
133
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:31,374
Do not leave baggage
or other items unattended.
134
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,381
Any second now. I think we're
looking for a Brad Pitt look-alike.
135
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,717
Police!
136
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,552
Get on him now! Move it!
137
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:32,143
In pursuit of a 415. Male with a gun
heading into zone 10, terminal 2.
138
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,561
Get your people over here now!
139
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,398
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!
140
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,867
Police! Coming through!
141
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,246
Everyone on the floor now!
142
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,583
-Not you, sweetie.
-Oh, right.
143
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:05,134
Carefully take out your weapon, holding
the butt with two fingers only.
144
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:09,931
Slowly place it on the floor
and take three steps back.
145
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,291
-What is this?
-I don't know. Weird.
146
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:03,484
Mr Bean, are you presently
on any kind of medication?
147
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,363
Not that I know of.
148
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,991
Well, you can
certainly use some.
149
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,466
-So, Doctor...
-Bean.
150
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:30,803
Yes, okay, Dr Bean. Well, you made it.
151
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:37,352
Nice flight?
152
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:44,901
Well, this is Kevin,
153
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,821
and this is Jennifer. She's been
very excited about meeting you.
154
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,407
My wife, Alison.
155
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:58,081
David, could I just have the tiniest
talk with you in the kitchen?
156
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:02,335
All right, yeah. We're just gonna...
157
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,633
I appreciate that on first viewing
he seems a little eccentric.
158
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,426
David, there are Martians
159
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,595
who have been exiled from Mars
for looking weird
160
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,263
who look less weird than this guy.
161
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,892
-He has an original quality, but every time...
-He goes today.
162
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,864
Wow! That was amazing!
163
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:35,034
That's really cool.
Hey, can you do this?
164
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,707
No, but I can do this.
165
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:46,087
Neat! Wow! How do you do that?
166
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,630
Magic.
167
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:49,007
-Okay, so you're gonna tell him?
-I'll do it. Yes.
168
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,758
-Today?
-Yes, today, today, today.
169
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,970
-Today seems like a good day.
-Good.
170
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:19,412
Well, sir, an unorthodox start.
171
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:24,333
I guess I never expected things with
a man of your calibre to be normal.
172
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,547
I gotta confess. I've never actually
read anything you've written.
173
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:33,634
Tell me, Doctor, what exactly is
your position at the gallery?
174
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,723
I sit in the corner
175
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,893
and look at the paintings.
176
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,978
That is brilliant!
177
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:47,815
If only more scholars would do that,
you know, just sit and look.
178
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,485
You know, not lecture
and write and argue,
179
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,488
just sit and look at the
paintings themselves.
180
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,990
Now, that is brilliant. Yeah.
181
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,166
-Morning, Elmer.
-Good morning, sir.
182
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,752
Dr Bean?
183
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,963
If you'd like to sign in, sir?
184
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:18,679
Thank you. Welcome to
the Grierson, Dr Bean.
185
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,313
Welcome to my world.
186
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,693
We're expected in Grierson's office
at 9:00 a.m.
187
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,863
Now, this is a man who does not like
to be kept waiting, so if you...
188
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:39,784
-Do you mind if l...
-Yeah, okay, absolutely. You bet.
189
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,538
All right.
190
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:18,382
Hi.
191
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:37,318
Doctor, we should make a move.
We're very late.
192
00:20:55,671 --> 00:21:00,174
Oh. We... Doctor, we... If...
When you're ready.
193
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:04,011
Okay.
194
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,017
David, finally.
195
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,188
And this must be our professor
from across the sea.
196
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,274
Yes, George Grierson, this is Dr Bean.
197
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,110
I'm delighted, Doctor.
198
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,361
-Actually, I'm not...
- Dr Bean?
199
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,196
-Dr Bean?
-Can we get a photo, please, sir?
200
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,532
-Right here. -We've heard a
great deal about you, Doctor.
201
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:28,619
- Thank you, gentlemen.
-We expect a great deal of you.
202
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:32,373
-And this is Bernice, in charge of PR.
-An absolute honour, Doctor.
203
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:36,627
All right, thank you. And Walter
Huntley, our merchandise manager.
204
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:40,798
-Nice to meet you.
-Moving along. Take a seat, Doctor.
205
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,843
Thank you. Here, let me
take that old thing.
206
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:47,305
This is very out-of-date.
Thank you.
207
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:51,684
Before we settle in, you might
want to feast your eyes on these.
208
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,991
Well, I'll be honest with you, Bean.
I like this.
209
00:22:07,075 --> 00:22:11,370
It's beautiful, sir.
I think it is, yeah.
210
00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:16,542
-Over here.
-Okay.
211
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:24,675
Yeah.
212
00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:28,387
That's a lovely green there.
213
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:31,766
-Good. Good. Down to business.
-Okay.
214
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:35,853
I've asked Bernice to run through
the order of events for the opening.
215
00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:38,773
Dr Bean, would you like to join us?
216
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,485
No. No, I'll just...
217
00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:46,405
Very well. Bernice?
218
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,992
Now, you will note that anything
pertaining to special media requirements
219
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:52,411
is prefixed with an asterisk,
220
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:57,375
i.e. glossy stills requested by some of the
favoured weeklies, that sort of thing.
221
00:22:57,459 --> 00:23:01,462
Right. So the big day unfolds as follows.
222
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,631
Our generous benefactor,
General Newton,
223
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,467
will be arriving at 10:00 a.m.
to meet the members of the staff.
224
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,512
Then, at 10:30, we'll have the
unveiling of the picture.
225
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:12,306
Now, this will be
in front of all press and media.
226
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:15,684
Walter, I'm assuming all this merchandising
is gonna be made available?
227
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:18,938
Oh, absolutely. From fridge magnets
to Frisbees, we'll be ready.
228
00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:24,735
So it will probably be at about 11:00 a.m.,
when the stage is set for Dr Bean.
229
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:27,988
Yes, all right, we really...
230
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:31,200
We really should bring
in the doctor here.
231
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:42,294
Dr Bean?
232
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:56,559
Doctor, we've just been
inspecting the schedule, and...
233
00:23:56,643 --> 00:24:00,312
If you would just like to take a look at
yours right over there at your convenience?
234
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:05,151
The general should be arriving at 10:00 a.m.,
and he'll unveil the picture at 10:30.,
235
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:08,863
so at about 11:00, we should
be ready for your speech.
236
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:15,828
Yes, and I think 20 minutes
should be long enough.
237
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:17,997
-Don't you, Bernice?
-Absolutely.
238
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,957
I know you could
fill hours, Doctor,
239
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:23,461
but for the press, it would be best
if you could keep it quite light.
240
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:27,089
Maybe throw in some anecdotes
about the actual painting of the picture
241
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:31,635
and explain why it is considered
to be America's greatest painting.
242
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,098
Is that going to be enough,
Doctor, 20 minutes?
243
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,064
Well, dear friends, if you'll excuse me,
I have a lunch with the Mayor.
244
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:47,067
Not the kind of thing I
like, but duty calls.
245
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,695
Well, Doctor, it's
good to meet you.
246
00:24:49,779 --> 00:24:52,740
It's a complex experience.
247
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:57,161
Enjoy your stay with David.
They're simple people but warm.
248
00:24:57,245 --> 00:25:00,706
-David, if I may have just a private word?
-Okay.
249
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:03,459
I tell you, why don't you wait for me
back at the new acquisitions?
250
00:25:03,543 --> 00:25:06,629
I'll join you shortly. Yeah.
251
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:16,889
-He's a genius, right?
-Yeah, he's eccentric, but...
252
00:25:16,973 --> 00:25:19,600
-Yes.
-Yeah.
253
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:25,981
The unveiling of Whistler's Mother
is the most important thing
254
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,859
to ever happen to this gallery,
255
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:31,654
and Dr Bean was your choice.
256
00:25:31,738 --> 00:25:34,865
Yes, I understand that.
257
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:38,452
Thank you, sir.
258
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:55,469
Dr Bean, when we get
home, I wonder...
259
00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:58,389
When we get home,
I wonder if you would mind
260
00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:01,225
giving me a private
moment with my wife.
261
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,811
There's a little something
we need to work out.
262
00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:07,398
No problem.
263
00:26:15,323 --> 00:26:18,826
Yeah, I think...
Just wait in here would be good.
264
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:22,746
Oh, just ignore that.
Her mother gave it to us.
265
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,916
Huge sentimental value, you know, so...
266
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:30,504
Just make yourself at home. I'll be
just a couple of minutes with Alison.
267
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:39,680
Oh, Doctor. I would
actually not do that.
268
00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:43,851
That's a limited edition.
It's that it's delicate, so if you...
269
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:47,271
Or, yeah, if... Put it
there would be good. Yeah.
270
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:48,689
Okay, that's... All right.
271
00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,032
-Hi.
-Hi.
272
00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,283
No Dr Bean?
273
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:01,118
Well, actually, no, he is still here,
but let me...
274
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:04,204
-Jennifer! Kevin!
-I just want us... I just want us...
275
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:05,372
Plan B!
276
00:27:05,498 --> 00:27:07,875
You have luggage packed?
What is Plan B?
277
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:09,126
Plan B is,
278
00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:11,795
if you haven't gotten rid of Dr
Bean, we go straight to Grandma's.
279
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,797
-I can't believe you...
-Screwed up again, huh, Dad?
280
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,467
Oh, come on, there was no
time to raise the subject!
281
00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:20,471
-Kevin, start the car, would you, sweetie?
-Oh, Ali, wait a second and look.
282
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:24,975
No, you look, David, my darling,
I have asked very little from you,
283
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:28,812
but I did ask you to get rid of Dr Bean,
and you have made your choice,
284
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:30,564
so you two can stay here
285
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,067
and really come to grips
with postmodernism,
286
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,736
but I am taking our
children to my mother's.
287
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:38,405
Just give him one last chance.
288
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:41,241
-Oh, David...
-Just one.
289
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:44,828
Please?
290
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:47,331
Okay. Okay.
291
00:27:47,415 --> 00:27:48,499
-Thank you.
-All right.
292
00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:51,085
Thanks. Once you
get to know him,
293
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:54,755
-I think you're gonna...
-David, don't.
294
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:01,387
-Hello, Doctor.
-Hello.
295
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:07,101
No, no, no, no, Doctor,
that is not for the TV. That's for the...
296
00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:27,037
Yeah, well, there they go.
297
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:38,882
Well, Doctor, we've got
the whole weekend together.
298
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:43,095
Yeah, get to know each other and...
299
00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:47,391
I was thinking
tomorrow we might really do LA.
300
00:28:47,475 --> 00:28:52,146
There's the Gallery of American lndian Art.
There's the California State Gallery.
301
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:54,148
There's actually this new place,
the Rabowitz,
302
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:57,985
which is kind of the place
for abstract expressionism.
303
00:28:58,111 --> 00:29:01,739
Does that sound good to you?
304
00:29:03,658 --> 00:29:05,492
Maybe you have something
else in mind?
305
00:30:13,513 --> 00:30:15,033
Incredible.
306
00:30:15,353 --> 00:30:17,562
You set?
307
00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:29,159
Why don't you get another ticket?
Could be more fun second time round.
308
00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:50,889
Okay.
309
00:30:52,725 --> 00:30:55,727
Brace yourself.
310
00:32:22,815 --> 00:32:26,902
-He's a genius, huh?
-That's what they tell me.
311
00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:38,914
Well, he looks like
a fruitcake to me.
312
00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:44,002
Are you willing to take
responsibility for his actions?
313
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,841
Well, you're a
braver man than me,
314
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,553
and I single-handedly take
on gangs armed with AK-47s.
315
00:32:55,890 --> 00:33:00,018
Get him out of here. Tell him his is
a butt I would dearly love to kick,
316
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,980
and the next time, I will.
317
00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:12,155
Doctor, there is something
we have to talk about,
318
00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:16,576
and I don't quite
know how to put this.
319
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:21,164
What I am concerned about is...
320
00:33:21,249 --> 00:33:24,835
Whoever that is, I am
getting rid of them.
321
00:33:26,921 --> 00:33:29,172
There he is.
322
00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:31,758
David, sorry we're late.
323
00:33:34,637 --> 00:33:36,096
-The traffic! Oh, terrible.
- Oh, that's beautiful!
324
00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:38,390
You couldn't believe. Every
day, it gets worse and worse.
325
00:33:38,474 --> 00:33:41,601
-It's just the way she... It's the green.
-And why? Because nobody's in control.
326
00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:45,856
No, it's the yellow. It's just...
It's the yellow. She is a...
327
00:33:45,940 --> 00:33:47,774
Well, where is Alison?
328
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:51,111
Well, I've got some bad news
and some good news.
329
00:33:51,904 --> 00:33:55,115
The bad news is that Alison
has had to go visit her mum,
330
00:33:55,199 --> 00:33:58,452
-who, well, is not well.
-That's too bad.
331
00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:01,079
-Gee, the poor thing.
-Sorry to hear that, David.
332
00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:05,584
The good news is that Dr
Bean and l will be cooking.
333
00:34:05,668 --> 00:34:09,212
-You sure that's good news?
-Well, of course it is.
334
00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:12,549
All the greatest chefs
in the world are men.
335
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:15,552
So what's on the menu, maestro?
336
00:34:15,636 --> 00:34:18,555
How could I forget?
337
00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:21,933
What the hell are we
going to give them?
338
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:26,980
Yes, I think they may be expecting
something slightly more formal.
339
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:32,402
An onion? Just on its own?
340
00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:35,489
No, no, don't be ridiculous.
341
00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:37,616
That's for Thanksgiving.
Alison would kill me.
342
00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:41,870
No, no, there must
be something else.
343
00:34:42,955 --> 00:34:46,625
-Have you ever cooked one of these before?
-Oh, yes.
344
00:34:46,709 --> 00:34:50,003
But anyway, it would take
like five hours, right?
345
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:54,216
Not necessarily.
346
00:35:01,849 --> 00:35:04,101
What do you think?
Twenty minutes?
347
00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:07,521
I don't know.
348
00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:09,356
You're sure this is gonna work?
349
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,524
Okay, you're the chef.
350
00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:13,777
Just put on some vegetables
and come and say hello.
351
00:35:19,242 --> 00:35:20,534
Maestro!
352
00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:24,704
My taste buds are positively
tingling with anticipation.
353
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:34,548
No. No, thanks.
354
00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:37,342
I think we'll pass
on the appetiser.
355
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:42,889
So, Bean, big day Tuesday,
356
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:46,518
your big day, my big day.
357
00:35:46,602 --> 00:35:49,896
I have a question for you.
358
00:35:54,694 --> 00:35:58,613
He's very attentive to detail.
359
00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:02,409
Everything must be just so.
360
00:36:19,802 --> 00:36:23,597
Bean, I think we need to
be honest with each other.
361
00:36:23,681 --> 00:36:27,142
I cannot deny that,
over the last days,
362
00:36:27,226 --> 00:36:31,479
some suspicions have begun
to gather in my mind,
363
00:36:31,564 --> 00:36:35,650
and I would just like to ask
you some direct questions,
364
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,652
okay?
365
00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:42,282
Number one, are you a doctor?
366
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:53,084
No.
367
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:58,173
Number two,
do you know anything about art?
368
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:09,976
Just for instance here,
369
00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:15,690
was Leonardo da Vinci an
American basketball player?
370
00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:29,579
Yes.
371
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,051
-Hi, Dad.
-Hi, Dad.
372
00:37:43,135 --> 00:37:44,427
Hello, Doctor.
373
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:48,431
-Bye, Dad.
-Bye, Dad.
374
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:47,699
For God's sake, Bean,
what are you doing?
375
00:38:55,791 --> 00:39:01,254
Hello? Mr Grierson, yes. He's
just here in the shower with me.
376
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:04,382
Would you give me...
377
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:07,302
Yes, hello, Mr Grierson.
378
00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:11,514
No, no, you must have misunderstood him.
What can l...
379
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:14,809
She is? Oh, thank you for calling me.
380
00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:18,772
-Yes, okay. Goodbye.
-Bye!
381
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:28,156
I can't believe it. Whistler's Mother
has actually arrived in America.
382
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,200
Now, listen, I am begging you
383
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:33,620
as a man whose entire professional
career depends on you,
384
00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:37,999
behave rationally today.
385
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,543
There is no God.
386
00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:13,493
What do you think?
387
00:40:14,954 --> 00:40:17,163
Nice frame.
388
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:20,083
She's magnificent.
389
00:40:20,167 --> 00:40:24,712
David, well done.
Worth every bright green buck!
390
00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:28,216
She's something else, isn't she?
391
00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:33,012
All right, folks, enjoy her while you can.
After this morning, we lock her away
392
00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:36,558
until the guy who paid $50
million for her turns up.
393
00:40:36,642 --> 00:40:39,269
And, Elmer, I believe
we have a security meeting.
394
00:40:39,353 --> 00:40:40,562
That's right, sir.
395
00:40:40,646 --> 00:40:44,607
And this is your key
to the encasement system.
396
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:46,526
There are only two. I
have the other one,
397
00:40:46,652 --> 00:40:50,196
so if the painting turns up
missing, I'll know where to come.
398
00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:54,200
And if you could all join me
at the security console?
399
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,869
Doctor, why don't
you just stay here?
400
00:40:55,995 --> 00:41:00,039
Maybe a look at the real thing
will inspire you for your speech.
401
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:06,045
Just stay here. Don't leave this
room till I get back, okay?
402
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:26,149
This chart maps all the security
elements for the big day,
403
00:41:26,233 --> 00:41:29,152
and as usual in these circumstances,
I've given the operation a code name,
404
00:41:29,236 --> 00:41:32,155
which is Operation Whistler's Mother.
405
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,991
It's not a snazzy title,
but I think it works.
406
00:42:51,151 --> 00:42:52,819
Fear not, gentlemen.
407
00:42:52,903 --> 00:42:55,655
With the system we put in here,
nothing will touch that painting
408
00:42:55,739 --> 00:42:57,907
short of an earthquake that
brings down the whole gallery.
409
00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:24,077
Once we've gotten the
general safely inside,
410
00:44:24,161 --> 00:44:26,746
the key figure, security-wise,
will be Dr Bean.
411
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:29,540
We gotta protect the painting without
getting in the good doctor's way.
412
00:46:37,503 --> 00:46:40,087
There seems to be a problem
413
00:46:44,009 --> 00:46:46,552
with the door.
414
00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:04,570
Where's the picture gone?
415
00:47:08,784 --> 00:47:11,869
What? What? What? What?
416
00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:24,715
Oh, Jesus! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus!
417
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,803
God! Oh, Mary, mother of Jesus!
Jesus of Nazareth!
418
00:47:34,434 --> 00:47:37,353
Wait a minute. Why am I worrying
about this? You did it!
419
00:47:37,437 --> 00:47:40,690
All I have to do is go out
and tell them what happened.
420
00:47:40,774 --> 00:47:42,191
Perfect!
421
00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:44,694
Then they'll say, "Well, who left
him alone with the picture?"
422
00:47:44,778 --> 00:47:46,195
And I say, "Me."
423
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,573
Then they say, "Well, you're fired!"
I say, "Fine."
424
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:49,782
No, no, no, no, no!
425
00:47:49,908 --> 00:47:53,077
Then they say, "Firing is not enough.
Let's prosecute you for negligence!"
426
00:47:53,161 --> 00:47:57,039
Then I go to jail. My wife leaves me.
My daughter becomes a prostitute.
427
00:47:57,124 --> 00:48:00,960
I wind up on death row
sharing a cell with Butch McDick!
428
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:03,421
All right, calm down. I
just gotta calm down.
429
00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:04,922
Okay. Okay.
430
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:08,175
Give me one more look
at the painting.
431
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,971
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
432
00:48:12,097 --> 00:48:15,600
...which renders the underground
ventilation ducts completely secure.
433
00:48:15,684 --> 00:48:18,519
-Yes, well, that's good to know.
-Thank you, sir.
434
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:44,086
Hey, do you drink, Bean?
435
00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:47,340
-No.
-Good, neither do l.
436
00:48:54,306 --> 00:48:57,016
Yeah, this one has extra innings
written all over it, doesn't it?
437
00:48:58,852 --> 00:49:02,104
He's got the long-ball threat
from the left side.
438
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:04,482
Smith corks one to right
field down the line.
439
00:49:04,566 --> 00:49:06,317
-There it goes.
-Bean.
440
00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:07,902
It's going.
441
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:12,073
Going crazy, folks! Going crazy!
It's a home run!
442
00:49:12,532 --> 00:49:16,702
And the Cardinals have won the...
443
00:49:18,997 --> 00:49:23,167
Carry on.
444
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,922
You wanna know what the
reality of the situation is?
445
00:49:28,507 --> 00:49:31,926
Okay, this is it.
446
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:35,846
Because you moved into my
house, my wife has moved out.
447
00:49:36,515 --> 00:49:38,557
Yes, she did. She might
have moved out anyway,
448
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:41,519
but that is one, point one.
449
00:49:41,603 --> 00:49:44,689
Point two,
450
00:49:45,023 --> 00:49:48,109
I've given my life to art,
451
00:49:48,235 --> 00:49:52,905
and from here on in, the only
art I will get anywhere near
452
00:49:53,031 --> 00:49:55,741
are the pictures I
draw on the pavement,
453
00:49:55,867 --> 00:49:59,286
hoping passers-by
will throw nickels in my hat.
454
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,708
I guess the long and
the short of it,
455
00:50:03,792 --> 00:50:06,919
I wish I'd never been born.
456
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:22,810
Yesterday
457
00:50:23,603 --> 00:50:29,483
All my troubles
seemed so far away
458
00:50:30,902 --> 00:50:36,157
Now it looks as though
they're here to stay
459
00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:42,455
I believe in yesterday
460
00:50:43,165 --> 00:50:44,790
Suddenly
461
00:50:44,916 --> 00:50:48,335
I'm not half the man I used to be
462
00:50:48,462 --> 00:50:50,254
Oh, no!
463
00:50:50,338 --> 00:50:55,384
There's a shadow hanging over me
464
00:50:55,469 --> 00:51:01,432
I believe in yesterday
465
00:51:02,184 --> 00:51:05,644
Suddenly
466
00:51:08,273 --> 00:51:10,775
Row, row, row, your boat
467
00:51:10,859 --> 00:51:13,277
Gently down the stream
468
00:51:13,361 --> 00:51:15,988
If you see a crocodile
469
00:51:16,114 --> 00:51:18,908
Don't forget to scream
470
00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:21,827
Splish, splash, splish, splash
471
00:51:21,953 --> 00:51:24,830
Row, row, row your boat
472
00:51:24,956 --> 00:51:27,875
Gently down the stream
473
00:51:28,001 --> 00:51:30,920
If you see a crocodile
474
00:51:31,004 --> 00:51:34,632
Don't forget to scream
475
00:51:35,967 --> 00:51:37,968
I can explain everything.
476
00:51:38,053 --> 00:51:41,180
Okay, explain everything.
477
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:45,810
-It's inexplicable. Ali, listen...
-David, no.
478
00:51:45,894 --> 00:51:50,606
David, the reason that I came
home was because I missed you
479
00:51:50,690 --> 00:51:54,819
and also because I live
here, and they live here,
480
00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:59,949
but, David, we have been waiting
for five hours, and what do we get?
481
00:52:00,033 --> 00:52:03,244
A drunk and his friend
from the planet Zog.
482
00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:08,207
I know, and it seems like this horrible
situation, but if you could...
483
00:52:08,917 --> 00:52:13,337
If you could just hear
my full horrific tale...
484
00:52:13,421 --> 00:52:17,716
David, I think I'm gonna
have to leave you.
485
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:22,721
You are?
486
00:52:24,891 --> 00:52:28,394
Well, then things
really have gotten bad.
487
00:52:31,606 --> 00:52:32,773
Yeah.
488
00:52:56,089 --> 00:52:59,592
Hi, Beanie.
489
00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:03,220
Can't sleep, huh?
490
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:06,307
No.
491
00:53:07,100 --> 00:53:11,604
Me, neither. Can't stop
thinking about naked women.
492
00:53:12,564 --> 00:53:16,066
-What about you?
-Whistler's Mother.
493
00:53:16,651 --> 00:53:20,279
Well, whatever turns you on.
494
00:53:25,285 --> 00:53:28,454
Catch you around, moon-man.
495
00:53:29,289 --> 00:53:32,124
Oh, if you still can't
sleep, come to my room.
496
00:53:32,250 --> 00:53:36,587
I got some great posters
of Cindy Crawford on my wall.
497
00:54:59,587 --> 00:55:03,549
Help! Help!
498
00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:11,075
Come on!
499
00:58:31,424 --> 00:58:34,760
Hooray!
500
00:58:43,311 --> 00:58:46,772
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
501
00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:56,615
Jennifer?
502
00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:59,868
No, no, no, no, don't think for one
minute you're getting on that bike, Jen.
503
00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:03,413
Morning, everyone.
504
00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:04,706
Total family rule here.
505
00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:06,500
No one is allowed on one
of those death traps.
506
00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:07,668
You promised me, Jen.
507
00:59:07,794 --> 00:59:11,463
And you promised Mum
you'd get rid of Dr Freako.
508
00:59:27,146 --> 00:59:31,149
Don't talk to me. I am trying
to think what I'm going to do.
509
00:59:35,196 --> 00:59:38,782
-Well...
-Quiet!
510
01:00:10,982 --> 01:00:14,318
What a pleasure, sir.
Welcome to our humble abode.
511
01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:16,903
Not too humble, I hope.
I'm expecting lunch.
512
01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:20,824
-Of course. General, right this way.
-After you, sir. After you.
513
01:00:26,539 --> 01:00:29,416
Glad you could make it.
514
01:00:29,751 --> 01:00:31,835
-Where the hell have you been?
-I am sorry. Trouble at home.
515
01:00:31,919 --> 01:00:33,837
-Never mind. Come along.
-Sir, there is something...
516
01:00:33,921 --> 01:00:36,673
General, I'd like you to meet
our curator, David Langley.
517
01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:39,176
-I'm delighted to meet you, sir.
-Of course you are.
518
01:00:39,260 --> 01:00:40,552
Right through here, sir.
519
01:00:53,524 --> 01:00:57,361
Ladies and gentlemen, this is
a great moment for America
520
01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:01,365
and for one very special
lady, Whistler's Mother.
521
01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:09,915
And she's here today, thanks to
our great and good benefactor.
522
01:01:10,041 --> 01:01:15,587
Will you join me in saluting a soldier,
philanthropist, loving father...
523
01:01:17,215 --> 01:01:21,385
and an extremely generous patron
of the arts, General Newton?
524
01:01:23,554 --> 01:01:26,348
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
525
01:01:26,432 --> 01:01:29,476
I am not a traditional art lover.
526
01:01:29,602 --> 01:01:33,271
I don't know the difference
between a Picasso and a car crash,
527
01:01:33,439 --> 01:01:35,232
but I love my country.
528
01:01:35,316 --> 01:01:38,068
I can't stand the idea
of a bunch of Frenchies
529
01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:40,320
owning America's
greatest painting.
530
01:01:40,446 --> 01:01:44,324
Let's get on with it.
531
01:01:50,623 --> 01:01:54,501
Welcome home, Ma.
532
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:26,658
Whatever you did, you're a
genius, and I love you!
533
01:02:26,784 --> 01:02:28,702
It's a poster.
534
01:02:28,828 --> 01:02:30,078
It's a what?
535
01:02:30,163 --> 01:02:32,873
-David? It's time.
-Time for what?
536
01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:34,750
-The speech.
-What? Wait. What speech?
537
01:02:34,834 --> 01:02:37,878
-Congratulations, David.
-Dr Bean's speech about the painting.
538
01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:42,007
Yes, of course, the speech.
539
01:02:42,216 --> 01:02:44,718
Now, Doctor, try to
keep it below an hour,
540
01:02:44,844 --> 01:02:47,637
and if there could be one joke
in it, that would be nice.
541
01:02:47,722 --> 01:02:52,309
Good Morning America couldn't give
a flying monkey about "isms" and...
542
01:02:52,393 --> 01:02:55,228
-Oh, you know what I mean.
-Yeah.
543
01:02:57,690 --> 01:02:59,816
-lt doesn't have to go on for long. Just...
- Dr Bean?
544
01:02:59,901 --> 01:03:01,651
-Just... Just...
-We're ready for you. Right this way.
545
01:03:01,736 --> 01:03:04,946
Just... Just... Just...
546
01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:08,116
And now, for the second
highlight of our day.
547
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:12,829
Dr Bean, a great English art scholar,
is here to speak for a few minutes,
548
01:03:12,914 --> 01:03:14,831
not too long, Doctor,
549
01:03:14,916 --> 01:03:16,458
on the subject of our new purchase.
550
01:03:16,542 --> 01:03:20,754
Ladies and gentlemen, Dr Bean
of the National Gallery of England.
551
01:03:36,604 --> 01:03:41,358
Well, hello, I'm Dr Bean,
552
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:45,779
apparently,
553
01:03:45,905 --> 01:03:48,824
and my job
554
01:03:48,908 --> 01:03:52,202
is to sit and look at paintings.
555
01:04:01,087 --> 01:04:03,630
So...
556
01:04:03,756 --> 01:04:05,966
what have I learnt...
557
01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:09,928
that I can say about this painting?
558
01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:15,475
Well...
559
01:04:15,601 --> 01:04:19,312
Well, firstly, it's quite big,
560
01:04:19,939 --> 01:04:22,315
which is excellent
561
01:04:22,441 --> 01:04:25,193
because if it was really small,
562
01:04:25,278 --> 01:04:28,405
you know, microscopic,
563
01:04:28,489 --> 01:04:31,908
then hardly anybody would
be able to see it,
564
01:04:31,993 --> 01:04:36,121
which would be a
tremendous shame.
565
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:38,999
Secondly,
566
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,376
and I'm getting quite
near the end now
567
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:46,590
of this analysis of this painting...
568
01:04:48,467 --> 01:04:51,803
Secondly,
569
01:04:54,515 --> 01:04:58,393
why was it worth this man here
570
01:04:58,477 --> 01:05:04,482
spending 50 million of your
American dollars on this portrait?
571
01:05:06,110 --> 01:05:09,863
And the answer is,
572
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:16,369
well, this picture is
worth such a lot of money
573
01:05:20,499 --> 01:05:26,379
because it's a picture
of Whistler's mother,
574
01:05:28,007 --> 01:05:34,512
and as I've learnt by staying
with my best friend,
575
01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:38,558
David Langley, and his family,
576
01:05:38,684 --> 01:05:42,979
families are very important,
577
01:05:43,230 --> 01:05:48,360
and even though Mr Whistler
was perfectly aware
578
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:53,031
that his mother was
a hideous old bat
579
01:05:53,157 --> 01:05:56,868
who looked like she had
a cactus lodged up her backside,
580
01:05:58,079 --> 01:06:00,455
he stuck with her
581
01:06:00,539 --> 01:06:06,002
and even took the time to paint
this amazing picture of her.
582
01:06:07,505 --> 01:06:10,465
It's not just a painting.
583
01:06:10,549 --> 01:06:14,552
It's a picture of a mad old cow
584
01:06:15,513 --> 01:06:18,765
who he thought the world of,
585
01:06:18,891 --> 01:06:21,726
and that's marvellous.
586
01:06:23,187 --> 01:06:25,730
Well, that's what I think, anyway.
587
01:06:59,807 --> 01:07:03,893
-Home and dry.
-Where did you put the original?
588
01:07:05,771 --> 01:07:09,274
Mr Langley, may I have a word?
589
01:07:10,234 --> 01:07:11,860
Stay here. Shut up.
590
01:07:11,944 --> 01:07:15,155
-Mr Langley...
-Okay, I can explain everything.
591
01:07:15,281 --> 01:07:16,948
-What can you explain?
-About the painting.
592
01:07:17,074 --> 01:07:20,076
-Which painting?
-Whistler's Mother.
593
01:07:20,161 --> 01:07:22,912
I'm afraid, Mr Langley, I'm here in
my capacity as a police officer,
594
01:07:22,997 --> 01:07:24,539
not as an art lover.
595
01:07:24,623 --> 01:07:28,668
It's about your daughter. She's
been in a motorcycle accident.
596
01:07:56,530 --> 01:07:59,657
Damn! Request emergency
clearance for 809-Adam.
597
01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:02,994
Shut up!
598
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:04,412
211 in progress.
599
01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:07,123
Suspect male, possibly armed.
Request immediate backup.
600
01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:08,416
Keep speeding.
601
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:10,126
-lf you get a ticket, I'll tear it up.
-Thanks.
602
01:08:10,211 --> 01:08:13,630
Hold it! Okay, easy, fellow, easy.
Hold it, there. Right there.
603
01:08:13,714 --> 01:08:15,715
Hey! Easy.
604
01:08:15,841 --> 01:08:20,136
Put it down. Put the gun down.
605
01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:24,557
Hi, I need Jennifer Langley's room.
606
01:08:24,683 --> 01:08:27,727
She came in at about 11:00,
motorcycle accident.
607
01:08:29,021 --> 01:08:31,856
Out of the way, sir.
608
01:08:42,701 --> 01:08:46,371
She's on the fifth floor, east wing.
Just take the elevator up.
609
01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:49,874
Just...
610
01:08:56,966 --> 01:09:00,969
Please, just stay here and do nothing.
611
01:09:01,053 --> 01:09:04,222
If you do nothing,
nothing can go wrong.
612
01:09:06,058 --> 01:09:09,144
I've got to take care
of my family now.
613
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:33,418
The nurse says that it's not
a coma, that she's just...
614
01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:37,422
She's just sort of
taking time out,
615
01:09:37,506 --> 01:09:41,009
but we haven't seen a
doctor yet, so I don't...
616
01:09:46,932 --> 01:09:48,308
-Dr Jacobson?
-Yes?
617
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:49,934
We need you urgently in OR 3.
618
01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:52,478
-No can do. I'm due in number 4 at 1:00.
-Sir, it's urgent.
619
01:09:52,605 --> 01:09:55,190
We have a ruptured kidney
and massive bleeding.
620
01:09:55,274 --> 01:09:58,443
Okay.
621
01:10:09,496 --> 01:10:12,165
Yes, it's urgent!
622
01:10:12,291 --> 01:10:14,000
-What's happening?
-Surgeon's on his way up.
623
01:10:16,503 --> 01:10:19,005
At last, Dr Bean.
624
01:10:19,131 --> 01:10:22,634
Hello, Doctor. We've got a 45-year-old
male, blood type B negative,
625
01:10:22,718 --> 01:10:24,427
brought in by paramedics
10 minutes ago.
626
01:10:24,511 --> 01:10:26,346
He's got a penetrating
injury to the left chest.
627
01:10:29,975 --> 01:10:33,061
-Gotta get him in there right now.
-No, no, no!
628
01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:35,980
Come in, Doctor. It looks like
a bullet in the lower thorax.
629
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:37,232
It seems to have
ruptured the lung,
630
01:10:37,316 --> 01:10:39,108
and there's severe inner
bleeding along the abdomen.
631
01:10:39,193 --> 01:10:40,568
Doctor, he's coming to.
632
01:10:40,653 --> 01:10:44,656
-All right, give him a T-70.
- Got it.
633
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:54,832
Shall I extend the
incision, sir?
634
01:10:54,917 --> 01:10:57,043
We've taken it from the
breastbone to the diaphragm.
635
01:10:57,169 --> 01:11:00,004
We may have to extend further
to get to the spleen.
636
01:11:01,590 --> 01:11:04,300
Sorry, sir, it's
only my first week.
637
01:11:04,385 --> 01:11:07,387
No, you're right, Doctor.
We should wait for the x-rays.
638
01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:09,681
Help! We are losing
this guy out here!
639
01:11:09,765 --> 01:11:13,184
-For Jesus' sake, we need help!
- Go! Go! Go! Get in here!
640
01:11:15,354 --> 01:11:17,230
Watch he doesn't go
into haemodynamic shock.
641
01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:20,024
We'll be right back.
642
01:11:26,198 --> 01:11:28,866
- Defibrillating! -All right,
charge the paddles to 200 watts.
643
01:11:32,913 --> 01:11:35,540
Clear!
644
01:12:16,290 --> 01:12:19,334
What's that?
645
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:54,035
Jolly good. Clean it up.
646
01:13:14,014 --> 01:13:15,515
Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.
647
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:17,225
Nice work in there, people.
Now back to the bleeding.
648
01:13:17,309 --> 01:13:19,227
Where's this blood coming from?
We got to clamp it off.
649
01:13:19,311 --> 01:13:20,436
-Where the hell's that J-17?
-What happened?
650
01:13:20,521 --> 01:13:22,772
-We need that J-17 in OR 4 right now.
-He's got major trauma.
651
01:13:22,856 --> 01:13:25,233
There's too much blood.
I can't see a thing.
652
01:13:25,317 --> 01:13:27,485
-More suction.
-Somebody check that line.
653
01:13:27,569 --> 01:13:30,029
-Blood pressure's bottoming out.
-Hook me up with 1 2, will you?
654
01:13:30,155 --> 01:13:33,324
His heart rate is dropping.
We're gonna lose him.
655
01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:35,410
-How's the TMS?
-Come on, people! He's crashing on us.
656
01:13:36,662 --> 01:13:38,496
-I'm not getting a reading.
-Where is this bullet?
657
01:13:40,165 --> 01:13:42,917
-lf we don't find it, he's a dead man.
-I am not gonna lose this guy.
658
01:13:45,421 --> 01:13:48,047
Sir, we're losing him.
I've got to get in there now.
659
01:13:52,845 --> 01:13:55,680
Doctor, you can't just...
It's too dangerous!
660
01:14:09,027 --> 01:14:10,695
My God!
661
01:14:14,366 --> 01:14:17,201
-lncredible.
- Heart rate is stabilising.
662
01:14:17,286 --> 01:14:19,454
Blood pressure's climbing back.
663
01:14:33,510 --> 01:14:35,970
Oh, Doctor, thank God.
My daughter was in an accident.
664
01:14:36,054 --> 01:14:37,555
No one's even taken
a look at her yet.
665
01:14:37,639 --> 01:14:40,725
We're desperate for some
medical attention in here.
666
01:14:41,727 --> 01:14:45,730
Would you mind?
667
01:14:47,191 --> 01:14:48,941
Don't worry, honey. The
doctor will check her out.
668
01:14:49,026 --> 01:14:51,736
Oh, thank God.
669
01:14:54,573 --> 01:14:56,616
Mr and Mrs Langley,
670
01:14:56,700 --> 01:15:00,077
any kind of damage to the brain
is a very sensitive thing to observe,
671
01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:03,748
so maybe we should just step outside
and give the doctor a little room to work.
672
01:15:03,832 --> 01:15:06,083
The first nurse said we
shouldn't think of it as a coma
673
01:15:06,168 --> 01:15:07,502
but more like a deep sleep.
674
01:15:07,586 --> 01:15:10,505
-Yes, that's sort of true.
-Could I ask you a question?
675
01:15:21,558 --> 01:15:22,892
Jennifer?
676
01:15:23,393 --> 01:15:27,522
Wakey, wakey, breakfast's ready.
677
01:15:27,606 --> 01:15:29,315
Jennifer?
678
01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:32,026
What time is it?
679
01:15:33,445 --> 01:15:35,530
It's almost 2:00.
680
01:15:35,614 --> 01:15:38,908
Can you turn the clock back
about 12 hours for me?
681
01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:41,160
Sure.
682
01:15:52,714 --> 01:15:56,425
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
683
01:15:57,886 --> 01:16:00,972
I don't know what
to say about Bean.
684
01:16:01,056 --> 01:16:04,684
He's clearly a force-10
disaster area,
685
01:16:06,019 --> 01:16:09,772
but, God help me, I like him.
686
01:16:13,527 --> 01:16:17,989
Now, having said that,
there is no reason in the world
687
01:16:18,073 --> 01:16:21,576
why any of you should ever
have anything to do with him again.
688
01:17:03,702 --> 01:17:06,871
Mom? Dad? Anyone?
689
01:17:06,955 --> 01:17:08,164
Oh, my God, Jennifer.
690
01:17:08,248 --> 01:17:10,708
-Oh, honey. Sweetie.
-Honey! Oh, look at you.
691
01:17:10,792 --> 01:17:13,002
-Mum, what happened?
-You had an accident, honey,
692
01:17:13,086 --> 01:17:15,755
but everything is gonna be okay.
693
01:17:15,839 --> 01:17:19,050
-But what happened to Stingo?
-Just bruises, collar bone.
694
01:17:19,134 --> 01:17:21,844
He'll be fine, until I
get my hands on him.
695
01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:25,723
-Hey, Doctor, where are you going?
-Where do you think you're going?
696
01:17:25,807 --> 01:17:29,644
How can we ever say thank you?
No, you've made us so happy.
697
01:17:29,728 --> 01:17:32,897
-Tell us, what can we do?
We'll do anything. -Anything.
698
01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:44,367
Well, I suppose you could
let me stay another week.
699
01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:59,507
Sunset Boulevard.
700
01:19:02,696 --> 01:19:05,114
-Presents! Presents!
-Hey! What's this all about?
701
01:19:07,868 --> 01:19:09,702
-This is heavy.
-Thank you.
702
01:19:14,666 --> 01:19:18,377
Oh, look, laxatives.
Yeah, a whole box of them.
703
01:19:19,296 --> 01:19:21,297
Oh, hey, there they are.
704
01:19:21,631 --> 01:19:23,382
Eggs, six of them.
705
01:19:24,426 --> 01:19:25,801
Barbie!
706
01:19:28,555 --> 01:19:31,056
-Thanks.
- What did you get there?
707
01:19:54,498 --> 01:19:56,165
Give us a smile.
708
01:20:01,046 --> 01:20:03,297
-Bye-bye!
-Bye!
709
01:20:03,381 --> 01:20:04,840
Bye, Beanie!
710
01:20:07,385 --> 01:20:08,719
See you!
711
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:14,308
Farewell!
712
01:20:23,735 --> 01:20:27,780
- Well, Beanie, it's been
713
01:20:28,782 --> 01:20:30,241
surreal.
714
01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:35,162
I want you to know you can
come back and visit anytime.
715
01:20:35,580 --> 01:20:38,332
-Yes.
-ln the fairly distant future.
716
01:20:42,963 --> 01:20:45,589
I know it sounds insane,
717
01:20:46,508 --> 01:20:48,551
but I'm really gonna miss you.
718
01:20:51,304 --> 01:20:52,471
Okay.
719
01:21:11,908 --> 01:21:14,869
Okay. Goodbye again.
720
01:28:44,569 --> 01:28:47,154
Yes, I normally stay
till the end as well.
721
01:28:50,158 --> 01:28:51,366
Bye.
722
01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:01,585
You can go now if you wish.
723
01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:06,757
Bye.57274
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