Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Do you recognize anything around here?

Nope. Should I?

You've been here before.

We used to visit Grandpops all the time when you were a toddler.

I'm really sorry, Mom.

I know, sweetie.

We're all gonna miss him.

Grandpops was a lovely man who, ugh, boy, I can't even finish that.

Yeah, no, Grandpops was a cranky old coot who hated everybody.

- He was nice to me. - Of course he was.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the old guy.

He...

...just had a funny way of doing things, you know?

Oh, here we are.

It's the one with the airplane in the front yard?

Oh, sweet! A plane!

The will said Grandpops left us everything.

I didn't realize it meant everything.

What do you think, Chauncey?

I think this carrying case violates the Geneva Convention.

Bit of a fixer upper, huh?

Yeah.

You must be Grandpop's lawyer.

Not anymore. Here are the keys to the house.

- Hey, how are ya? - Oh, what a cute dog!

Oh, thanks. I've been working out.

I'm glad you like him. He's yours. He came with the estate.

He's been house-trained but don't hold him to that.

Oh, and when he gets excited he falls asleep.

Really? He's narcoleptic?

Can a dog be narcoleptic?

Hey, boy! What's your name?

Hey, I'm Skipper!

- Wanna go for a walk? - Yeah, I wanna go for a walk!

- Wanna go for a walk? - This is so exciting!

- This is so... - Come on, come on!

Hm. I guess they can be narcoleptic.

I'm up, I'm up! What'd I miss?

Welcome to Allentown!

I did it again, didn't I? Did I fall asleep?

Well, here we are.

Hey, boy, I'm Jack. What's your name?

What's my name? What's in that cage?

Uh...

Skipper, huh? Hey, Mom, the dog's name is Skipper.

Great. Does he wanna help clean up?

What? No.

I'll let you two get acquainted.

Wait, you're just gonna leave me here with this, uh, dog?!

OK, let me try something. Uh, sit.

Hey, it works.

Hey, bud.

So, what do you think?

I think we should sell this place as soon as possible.

There's a canoe in the living room.

- Yeah. - So, you're a cat, huh?

No, I'm a giraffe.

Wanna see the basement? We have mice.

Well, I do like mice.

Come on. Let's check it out.

I'll show ya. Just down here.

But it's a pretty nice town, right?

Yeah, I guess so.

What're you looking at me like that for?

Look, there's, um...

...something I've been meaning to tell you.

What was that?

Uh, they said there might be rats in the basement.

That sounds like a big rat.

Yeah.

That was the dog.

Oh, Chauncey.

Was that you making all that racket? Come here.

And I am not cleaning it up.

Hey, check it out. Look what I found.

Dog treats.

Let's crack this bad boy open, Jack!

Hey there, Skipper. What'd you find there, buddy?

I just told you, dog treats.

I don't know if you wanna eat these, Skipper.

Contains propylene glycol, arsenic,

and imported Soviet cattle parts?

This bag is from 1973!

1973!

Skipper, where are you going, buddy?

Oh, boy, open the door, open the door!

- I gotta go! - Skipper?

Skipper, where are you going?

It's not gonna be pretty.

- Stay back, Jack. - Skipper, wait up, bud.

Stay here if you know what's good for you.

- Just trust me. - Skipper, come on.

Who the heck are you?

Who the heck am I? Who the heck are you?

I'm Jack.

This is, was my Grandpop's place.

- What do you mean was? - He, uh...

...passed away.

Oh, jeez.

- Sorry. - What're you doing here?

Run, Twyla! I can take him!

Run, before Old Man Cragmore gets here!

Oh, hey, a dog!

Sorry about that. Fred here is a little overprotective.

So what do you guys need?

Over the years we've lost a lot of stuff over this fence.

Mr. Cragmore, your Grandpops, would never give anything back.

- Ever. - What kind of stuff?

Footballs, baseballs, kites, basketballs,

my Baby Googie glider.

Baby Googie glider?

Sorry to sneak in like this.

We thought we could get in the back without being noticed.

Let's go look in the shed.

Nothing here.

Jack!

I gotta go. I can check in the basement later.

Who's that girl?

- Just a girl. - She's cute.

So... it's pretty great here, hey?

Yeah, I guess so.

Can't you just smell the fresh air?

OK, what's going on here, Mom?

Wouldn't it be great to live here?

No, thanks, I'm more of a city kid.

You're kidding me! We're moving here?

You never said anything about moving here!

- I hinted at it. - I'm 12.

Hints bounce off me like bullets off Superman.

Come on, Jack.

We've been in that tiny, cramped apartment

in the city for so long.

It's not cramped.

You sleep on a cot in the kitchen.

You know I like breakfast in bed.

We need more space. And we need a change.

But I like the apartment. It's big enough!

For two people, a cat, and now a dog?

The bank says I can transfer my position to a branch here.

- If I pass the interview. - But I like the city.

I like my school, I like my friends.

- This is so unfair! - Jack!

Take Skipper with you!

That went well.

Why would anyone want to move

to a stupid, boring, small town like this anyways?

Boringville.

What is Mom even thinking?

This is so lame.

Why would anyone wanna live here?

Whoa.

Whoa, indeed.

- Who's that? - That's what I'd like to know.

Mmm, that's premium dog food.

Side of Chewy Bones, light tones of almond.

And if I'm not mistaken, you've been drinking from the toilet.

Ew! That dog is sniffing Mandy's butt!

Excuse me, can you please get that animal away from Mandy's butt?

Uh, sorry, sorry. That's just how they say hello.

Skipper.

Yeah, duh. I know that.

Why else would he be doing that?

Did that disgusting junkyard animal scare you, sweetie?

Yeah, she did kinda scare me a little.

Oh, you're talking to her.

Then that makes me the, uh... Hey!

Imagine if people said hello like that.

You know, like, sniffed each other's butts.

That's gross. You're gross.

No, I'm not. I'm Jack. I just moved here.

- Yay for you. - OK.

Um, that's a nice bag you got there.

Where'd you get it? The library?

- Smooth. - Really?

This lame tote bag that my mom got from work is nice?

- Do you want it? - No, that's OK.

Yeesh. Tough room.

- Um, what's your name? - My name?

It's stop talking to me.

What is that, French?

Who's she calling a junkyard animal, anyway?

Hmm.

Oh, so suddenly this town's not so bad.

Notice of eviction?

We're getting kicked out?

Sorry, Mom.

It's OK, I kinda sprang this all on you.

I wasn't gone that long, are you OK?

Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine.

Listen, Mr. Storms Out In A Huff,

you have a job to do.

- I do? - The basement is a disaster.

It needs to be cleaned and organized.

- Yeah, no problem. - Thanks.

Love you!

What is that smell?

Well, let's get to it.

Gunther.

Ronnie!

Gunther.

Keep walking forwards, you're so close!

Gunther!

- Yes! - Sorry.

You look like a Ronnie.

I get that a lot.

- Yes. - So have you acquired transportation?

Oh, oh, oh.

Ah, car alarms. So obnoxious.

- Shh. - Oh dear. Oh, no.

I got it, I got it.

- You got... - That's the panic button!

- No, it's... - I got it!

Ah, that's better. Thank you.

I hope you have acquired accommodations then.

Oh, accommodations. Top notch!

They're never gonna know we're there.

Perfect. OK. And you're sure no one is home?

Positive. I checked it out.

The old guy croaked, no family, no friends,

so the place is all ours.

It's gonna be like taking candy from a kitten.

Wait, I thought you take candy from a baby.

A baby? No. Kitten. You take candy from a kitten.

But why would a kitten be walking around with a candy?

Why would you give a baby candy? It's unhealthy!

- It's delicious. - Just take this!

Ah, yes. Baklava.

Let's do it!

You know, you're shorter than I thought.

I'm short in photos.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

You go through the window, come around and open the door for me.

But you're shorter than I am.

Yeah, but you're taller than I am!

- I didn't really think about it that way. - Right?

That makes sense a lot with the physics...

Let's just do this!

Okay. Pardon me.

One more time.

Yeah, that's right.

Ready?

Go!

What're you doing?

Idiot.

How do we know what we're looking for?

A box with a key.

The old guy hid the treasure somewhere in this house.

But how are we gonna find it?

Oh, sweet Ronnie, that's what this is for.

Oh, boy!

- What is that? - A scanner.

This is so exciting.

When we find the box the scanner will change color.

The box is behind the wall right here.

- Too much club. - Just a little bit.

One...

Two...

Abort! Abort!

Go! Go! Get out of here!

Ow, my toe!

Mom! Mom!

Jack! Jacky boy!

Is that you? What's going on down here?

Can you smell that? I smell schnitzel.

- Is that schnitzel? - Jack?

- I think it's schnitzel. - Jack, what's wrong? Are you OK?

I just saw two guys go out of there!

- What? - Ok, I'm smelling schnitzel somewhere.

There was two guys in masks that just left.

Jack, do you smell that?

- Anybody? Kim, come on. - There's nobody here, Jack.

Have you ever had fresh schnitzel?

There was just two guys.

Probably my favorite meal.

Are you sure it wasn't raccoons?

- Raccoons? - Mom, it would have been really tall raccoons.

Spaghetti and meatballs and schnitzel.

I do like spaghetti and meatballs.

You don't believe me.

Oh, Jack. Come here. Of course I believe you!

But why would two men in masks wanna break into this dusty old,

well, actually, not so dusty anymore,

thanks for dusting, basement?

I don't know, to steal the old toaster oven?

Great, thank you so much, officer.

I really, really appreciate it. OK, goodnight.

What did they say?

They said we should change the lock on the cellar door.

Not that there's any point.

What's going on?

I didn't want to tell you until tomorrow but um...

I got some troubling news today.

Mom, come on. It's gonna be OK.

We'll make the best of it.

Whatever it is, we'll get through it.

Come on. We're in this together.

I know. You're right.

Now, what's the problem?

We're gonna lose our house!

Your mom didn't know about this when you moved in?

No one told us.

Dude, this town is like 1,000 years old.

The underground water pipes are all rusted out.

They need to be ripped out and replaced.

So why don't they just do it?

Well, it costs millions of dollars

and the town just doesn't have the money.

If the pipes don't get replaced

the government is gonna come in and declare

this town is blighted and they're gonna make everyone move.

Blighted? What does that mean?

It's basically when they declare the town is dead,

and they make everyone pack up and ship out.

- That's terrible. - Yeah. Welcome to my world.

So why do you think those guys broke into your basement?

Maybe they lost some balls over Mr. Cragmore's fence,

and wanted them back like we did.

Fred, stop trying to help.

Oh.

- What do you see? - Nothing.

I want to see!

Wow, who would have thought that someone

would have moved in so soon after the old guy croaked?

You, that's who. You were supposed to know.

Oh, you're right, you're right.

You got me there. That was my bad.

Ugh, so dizzy.

You know, it was supposed to be easy.

Sneak into the basement like the silent shadow,

break down that wall like conquering army,

triumphantly steal that box like high seas buccaneer.

- Yes! - Voila!

Right!

Except all we have is ein broken toe

because you cannot maintain your grip on the hammer.

A broken toe? You're not even limping!

Well, I am mentally disciplined to ignore extreme pain.

- Ah. - It's also how I contend with your filthy presence.

Question.

- Hmm? - What is a schweinhund?

Well, it's German for pig dog.

Oh. I thought it was a compliment.

Oh, you will get no compliments from me.

Only degradation and mockery until we find that box.

- That's fair. - We will go back tonight.

Oh, baby, daddy missed you!

Whoa, yeah!

Hey, it's OK.

It's OK, we... we can get you another one.

Wow, this kid's taking this pretty hard.

Do you mean for real?

- Yeah, yeah, of course. - We'll get another one.

What's that smell?

Skipper, where you going, boy?

Hey, guys, check this out. Oh, right, sorry.

- Was this here last night? - Definitely not.

I cleaned this place last night.

What is it, Skipper? Whatcha doing there, boy?

What do you think? I'm trying to tell you something.

I think he's trying to tell us something.

Jack, there's something behind this wall.

There's definitely something behind that wall.

You're a genius, kid. My work here is done.

- Should we do it? - Do it.

There's something back there.

It's a box.

It's got your name on it.

Well, you should do the honors.

That's it?

I was expecting, like, a treasure or something.

A key and... what is this?

A box?

How do you open it?

It's a videotape, Jack.

Don't look at it! What if it's cursed and seven days later

a long-haired girl crawls out of your TV?

I watch a lot of horror movies.

You know what?

I think I can make this thing work.

And that should do it.

Where did you learn how to do that?

A/V club at school.

We still use videotapes.

We're poorly-funded.

Me there also, school.

That's my grandpa!

Jack. You found the box,

which means your old Grandpops is a goner.

Don't worry, I lived a good life.

I used to be a news cameraman.

Traveled the world, met lots of people.

Most of them all jerks.

You and your mom are the only folks I know

who aren't total jerks.

Like that one kid who keeps bothering me

about his stupid glider!

Hey!

- Shhh. - Shhh.

Baby Googie, my butt.

Jack, years ago, I was on an assignment

with this German reporter lady in South America

and we made an amazing discovery.

But there was problems.

She wanted to steal it and I outfoxed her

and I got the treasure.

Then I hid it.

Why didn't he just cash it in and live like a king?

- Quiet. - Quiet.

You're probably wondering why I didn't cash it in

and live like a king.

Because I'm not a greedy idiot, that's why.

This is a long story.

I hid it somewhere around this town.

So Jack, it's yours to find.

But be warned: don't tell anyone,

especially a German woman, that's for sure.

Not even your mother.

Grown-ups, even the ones that mean well, are greedy!

If they find out about my treasure they'll cash it in

before you can say, "That kid's never getting his glider back!"

Yeah, well I did get it back, you old coot!

- Quiet, Fred! - Really, Fred, be quiet!

The first clue is...

Just kidding.

The clue is inside

the very first book I ever read to you.

What's the first book he ever read to you?

I... I don't remember.

Maybe your mom will know.

Let's go check.

You guys gonna be OK while I'm out?

Yeah, we'll be fine. Good luck at your interview.

Thank you. Do I look OK?

Yeah, you look good.

You look great. If I could whistle, I would.

Do you remember Grandpops ever reading me any books?

Yeah, he read to you all the time when you were little. Why?

Well, the treasure...

Just curious.

He never read you kids books though,

he thought kids books were annoying

and he hated all the stupid pictures.

Yeah, that sounds like him alright.

Yeah. He always read you stories

from this old travel almanac he liked.

Oh, yeah, I remember that. Have you seen it anywhere?

No, but he did keep a lot of books at his shop.

- Grandpops owned a shop? - Yeah, he doesn't anymore

but he owned an antique store over on Sierra Street.

- Come on, let's go. - Well, wait, wait, wait.

He doesn't own it anymore.

That's OK, we're just gonna take a look.

Did I just see a 12-year-old get excited about antiques?

Don't judge, it's just a phase.

I'm gonna take a nap.

I remember the book had something to do with adventures or worlds or something,

but I do remember it had an old leather bound cover.

Are we really gonna try and find this treasure?

Yeah. Those guys broke into my house looking for it.

We can't let them get their hands on it.

What're you gonna do with the treasure?

I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead yet.

Hey!

Closed until further notice?

Well, that was fun. Let's go home.

It's not just closed, it's completely locked up.

Whaddya suppose they're doin' in that store?

I do not know.

But I'll bet it has something to do with the treasure.

- Yeah. - Let's go back to his house

and see if we can find another clue.

That's a great idea, Gunther!

The city must have shut it down.

But if the city shut it down that means the city council

should still have keys, right?

Which means I have an idea. Follow me.

That's Jennifer.

We were best friends when we were little.

Oh, so that's her name. Jennifer.

- Oh, you met her? - Yeah, kinda...

- Was she mean to you? - Yeah.

- She's always mean to nerds. - I'm not a nerd.

Then why wasn't she nice to you?

Are you implying that I'm a nerd?

Well, if she's only mean to nerds, then...

Ok, how can she help us? Her mom's a big shot.

Town councilor, works for the mayor.

Librarian. She'll have a key to that padlock.

Awesome.

Except we're kinda total enemies now.

Oh.

But I've got an ace up my sleeve.

One second.

Well, if it isn't Twyla, mistress of the dark.

Can I talk to you, Jen?

- Go ahead. - Privately?

Do we have to go into a crypt?

Here is fine.

So, do you play any sports?

Beach volleyball.

Oh, there's beaches around here?

No, no. I just meant volleyball with a beach ball.

Oh, so you're in a league?

No, just with, like, my friends.

Who? Twyla?

No, just, you know.

No, I don't know. Isn't Twyla your only friend?

Well, yeah.

So who do you play beach volleyball with?

Just me.

So long story short, you own a beach ball.

Yep, that's about it.

- So no sports? - Yep, I don't play any sports.

- That's cool. - Mm-hmm.

Alright, we're all set for tonight.

She'll meet us there with the key.

Are you sure she'll show? She looks mad.

Yeah, she'll show. I told her that if she didn't

I would show this to all of her friends.

Yeah, we went through a pretty serious mime phase.

You're evil.

Even the ones that mean well are greedy.

They find out about my treasure,

they'll cash it in before you can say,

"That kid's never getting his glider back!"

The first clue is...

Just kidding.

The clue is inside

the very first book I ever read to you.

So what're we to do? We search the house for the book?

No. The book must be at the antique store

where the kids were.

But it's all locked up. How're we gonna get in?

- Idiot! - Ow!

I mean, we are devious criminals! We just break in!

Ooooh, I get it!

- Ah. - That's a great idea!

Well, I came up with it.

- Is it good? - It's not bad.

May I have a piece?

Danke.

Hey, Jackie Boy, your girlfriend's here.

You never said he'd be here.

Nice to see you again, too.

Oh, oh, what was that?

Sarcasm?

Yep, definitely sarcasm.

Whatever, let's just get this over with.

Hi, Jennifer.

Why are you talking to me, Fred?

Do you remember the rule? There's no talking to Jennifer.

No talking to Jennifer? That's a rule?

Right, sorry. No talking to Jennifer.

I forgot the rule.

- Nice backbone, Fred. - Thank you.

That's OK, Fred. You've got my love.

OK, so just so we're clear,

if you guys get caught I had nothing to do with this.

- Are you coming with us? - To find some old book?

No thanks, Vampirella.

Fine, then give us the keys.

OK, I'm gonna need these back.

I'll be waiting across the street.

Which one is it? There's like 50 keys.

It's the one that opens the lock. Duh.

So we're looking for a book?

- Yes. - What kind of book?

We will know it when we see it.

It must be those meddling kids. And that dog!

What do you need that for?

For pulling a heist. You pull a heist, you bring a flashlight.

It's the rules of the street.

It's daytime, Fred.

Shh!

They're gonna hear us!

No kidding, swine monkey!

- Is that a compliment? - Yeeeee, no.

Do you know the title of the book?

Uh, it was Travel World or Book or...

- I don't know. - OK. Let's split up.

OK, boy, time to put that nose of yours to work.

See if you can sniff out Grandpop's scent in this place.

Well, this whole place smells like Grandpops.

And that's not a good thing.

"How to Become a Mime in Ten Easy Steps."

Hey, Twyla! I think I found a book you might like!

If it's about mimes, you're not funny.

Oh, baby.

"The Single Man's Buttocks Work Out."

"Have a great butt in 90 days."

"The Super Duper World of Adventure."

Hey, Jack!

Jack, I've got something here about Super Duper World of Adventure.

Is that it?

Yeah, that's the book! Nice job!

Oh, no, that's bad. That's very bad.

Call them, call them. That's a good idea.

Hey, guys, I think I found the book.

"Single Man's Buttocks Workout."

- Yeah. - Why do you have that?

No reason.

Twyla, Twyla.

I deleted Twyla.

Quick. We go.

Ooh, it's Jennifer.

There's somebody in there with you.

Yeah, I know. Jack and Twyla are in here with me.

Jennifer sure is pretty, but she's not that smart.

I know, you monkey, OK?

There are two guys, I just saw them in the window.

You'll have to call her back.

Hello, kiddies.

- The book, please. - Uh, who are you?

Never mind who we are.

The important thing is what we want.

The book. Now.

You. Little goth girl.

I love your whole look, by the way.

Thank you. No one ever compliments my style.

Oh, it's exquisite.

Pleasantries are concluded.

The book. Now.

Not a chance!

Show them we mean business.

You got it, Gunther.

Please don't hurt me, I bruise easily.

Do it.

- Do what? - Fool.

Give him a wedgie, like the bullies probably gave you

when you were a sad little schoolboy.

Sorry about this, kid.

It's OK, I get them all the time.

- I'll take that. - Good boy, Skipper. Run!

You handle the kids, I'll get the dog!

Got it! Come here!

Who turned out the lights?!

The lights are out and I'm scared.

Gunther? Gunther? Where are you?

Gunther? I'm gonna get you kids!

Meddling little... I got you.

I can hear you out there. Hiyah!

Come on, you wanna fight? Let's go!

I've got you now!

Aawaaaah!

You puny-brained little animal!

Puny brained? Who are you callin' puny-brained?

You are trapped.

And this is why you are on the bottom of the food chain

and I am on the top.

Yeah, yeah. Top of the food chain.

Gunther! Gunther, help me!

Whoa, what was that? That was one of them kids.

I got you now! Higaah!

Woooah! Yah!

I smell kids.

- I got you. - The book, please.

Oh, are you sad? Huh?

Boo hoo, I lost.

Oh, this is so humiliating.

- The book. - Oh, OK.

I give up. You win.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

The day is ours, Ronnie!

I have liberated the book from that puny-brained animal!

Where's the German guy? He has the book.

I got it right here.

I switched the books.

Ha! I got you now, you kids!

Aaaah!

What happened? That was a lot of stairs.

Ronnie!

What have they done to you?

It's OK, buddy. I have the book!

Ha.

"Single Man's Buttocks Workouts!"

Why would Grandpops read this to a little boy?

I've been outsmarted by a canine!

Haha! You got that right!

It doesn't taste like schnitzel.

OK, kids. Hold it right there.

Hello, officer!

OK, if anyone asks I'm Fido McSniffy.

- Ronnie! - Gunther!

What happened? My head is swollen and I can't see!

Shh! The cops have showed up.

The kids must have triggered the alarm.

I can't go back to prison. You can't let them take me!

Oh! Oh, oh, I hit the mother country!

I'm so sorry, Germany!

Yes, ah, Berlin.

Come on! We must go! Come on.

Stupid dog. My hind quarters are in a great deal of pain.

No!

No. This way. Come on.

Come on, grab my jacket.

Follow me. Like a conga line.

What is that? What is she holding?

That, my friend, is an M387 World War I 37mm shell case.

Also known as the pom pom in France.

The problem is it's covered in grease.

That thing is filthy!

It was discovered in Greece?

No, not Greece.

France. Weren't you listening?

- Yeah, look, there you go. - What were you thinking?

There's the grease. See? It's all over her hands.

- Um. - Um?

That's all you have to say for yourself?

But Mom, if we find Grandpop's treasure, we'll be fine.

We won't ever have to worry again.

Wait, wait. I'm the new kid here.

Uh, but are you guys seriously looking for treasure?

Yes. Seriously.

Like when we were kids and we used to play pirates?

No. Real treasure.

- What's going on? - Jack and the kids broke into the store,

got busted by the 5-0.

- I'm bored already. - Ugh, cats.

OK, Jack. I hate to have to tell you this but

your grandfather was a little on the crazy side.

But why would he go to all the trouble to...

To hide the...

Look, sometimes lonely old people do nutty things.

This is hardly a laughing matter, Jack.

Uh, Kim, you got a little something just underneath your, uh,

just above your lip there.

- What am I gonna do with you? - But Mom, this is our chance.

Stop laughing!

We could get enough money to move back to the city

and leave this stupid town!

Oh, no you didn't.

Stupid town?

Wait, Twyla, I didn't mean it that way.

Whatever.

Come on, Fred. Let's go home.

Do you need a ride home?

We can walk.

Come on, Fred.

It was nice talking on the phone earlier, Jennifer.

Ugh.

Young lady, will you please hold onto this for me?

Yes, ma'am.

And no matter how much Jack begs

do not give that back to him.

I am tired of all this treasure nonsense.

- But Mom... - Enough, Jack.

I'll deal with you once you've walked Jennifer home.

Ugh, I can't look.

Does she still have that stuff all over her face?

Yes. Yeah, she does.

I hope you're proud, Ronnie.

Bested by a small dog and a cheap globe.

Oh, yeah? Well, at least I'm not the one

that lost a game of keep away to three kids.

I would have triumphed in keep away

if I had not had to babysit a jabbering nincompoop like you.

I don't even know why you were hired to assist me

on this endeavor in the first place.

Well, neither do I. I just got a call out of nowhere

to go help this weird German guy.

You dare call me weird?

You are a mindless worm crawling

in the primordial slime compared to me.

And why must we reside in this shoddy pup tent?

We're on a covert mission, Gunther.

The tent is the best way to hide without being detected.

That must be our pizza.

- You got thin crust, right? - Of course. I'm not a savage.

- Mama! - Gunther.

- Oh, and you must be Ronnie. - That's me, I'm Ronnie.

- Come to me, Ronnie! - Uh, ok.

- Mmmm. - Okay, alright.

- Yeah, uh-huh. - Do you know who I am?

Uh, the lady what hired me for this job?

Ya! And I am also your mother.

- What?! - Ya.

Gunther, this is your American step-brother.

From when I lived in New Jersey.

I had to give him up for adoption when I had to flee the country.

The FBI, the CIA, and Walmart security were after me.

- I had to run. - Well, yeah.

My brother!

OK, yeah.

Wow.

This is a lot to process.

Come here, bro!

Oh, it's so much fun! I can see my house.

Could you at least let me look at the book

until we get back to your place?

I'm not crossing your mom.

If she told my parents what I did I'll be dead.

So what happened to you and Twyla?

You used to be best friends.

Yeah, when we were little.

And then I got into clothes and make-up

and she got into weird clothes and freaky make-up.

But you used to have so much in common,

like pretending to be pirates and the art of mime.

Shut up. She did not show you that video, did she?

Your stuck in a box trick was amazing.

Really. It moved me.

Yeah, we thought we were gonna be world famous mimes.

Doesn't every kid?

So, what about you?

You really think you're gonna find some old Spanish treasure

hidden by your grandpappy?

It's Grandpops, and yes, I do.

Well, you know that's impossible, right?

No, it's not. Why do you think those guys came after us?

Um, ever heard of security guards?

You know what your problem is? You have no imagination.

Whatever.

You only care about hair and clothes.

And that's it. And that's boring.

Yeah? Well at least I'm not delusional.

Well, at least my best friend isn't make-up.

Well, at least my best friend isn't a dog!

- Oh yeah? - Yeah!

Well, at least I'm not a terrible mime!

Grandpops Cragmore hid that treasure from me for 30 years.

Once he passed away... Not now, sweetie.

...and I found his obituary online, I knew where to look.

Tell me, did you find the box?

No, but his grandkid did.

There was a movie in it with a clue! A book!

- Did you obtain the book? - No.

That sniveling cretin of a boy has it!

We shall get that book, mama.

I will start a campaign of surveillance,

infiltration, and extraction, and steal that book right from

under that boy's snotty little nose!

Nein, nein. There's a better way.

Yeah, Ma's got a better way.

Wait, you're calling her Ma now?

What? I call you bro.

Bro.

I cannot believe I have a brother!

Shut up, dummkopfs. Let me think.

- You got anything? - Ma?

- How about now? - Anything?

- How about now? - Now?

How about now? You want a thinking marshmallow?

- Not now, sweetie. - Ow.

Fred? Fred?

Hey, Fred.

Are you actually talking to me?

Yeah, you're the only Fred around here.

Well, Fred Bellson's over there.

What I meant to say was, why are you talking to me?

- You hate me. - OK, I don't hate you, Fred.

I just, I have cool friends who rag on me when I,

- you know, talk to... - Nerds?

Yeah, like my old friends.

Anyway, I'm trying to get a hold of Jack

but I don't think he'll talk to me anymore

and I don't even know how to approach Twyla, so...

What's up?

OK, remember that book that you guys stole from the store?

Oh, you kept it. That's amazing!

- That's great... - No, I didn't.

I returned it to the store. I'm a good person.

Oh, man. This dream's totally over.

We could have saved the whole town with that book.

- Really? - That's what Twyla and I were hoping.

I'm not so sure about Jack, though.

Well, I was looking through it last night.

I noticed something.

See?

- Let's go tell the others. - OK.

Hey, what about me?

- Not you! - Oh.

Jack?

You down here?

What're you guys doing here?

I wish I knew.

OK, you guys need to see this.

Jennifer found something in that book.

- What, fashion tips? - Ooh.

Oh, shut up, mistress of the dark.

- Oh, that's a burn. - At least I'm not an illiterate princess.

- Oh, that's a double burn! - Why are you such a jerk?

Burnfest!

- Why are you such an airhead? - Scorched.

OK, forget it. This was a stupid idea.

Wait, wait, wait. You came all this way.

What did you find?

OK. So I was looking through the book that you guys stole

and there are a few words highlighted throughout the pages.

We knew that.

OK, well did you know what words?

"Hurry the heed, bell and seat, to your."

Wow. Hurry the heed, bell and seat, to your.

Jennifer, you cracked it!

Oh. Wait.

No, you didn't.

OK, well I just thought you guys might know what it means.

Can I see that?

Wait a second. Wait a second.

If you scramble the words it says,

"Heed the bell and hurry to your seat."

It probably means something about school.

And everybody told me dyslexia was a bad thing.

Sure worked here.

- What? - Fred, you're a genius!

You solved it. Now let's go find the treasure.

Sorry, no. I'm not breaking into some school

just so Jack here can strike it rich.

Um, I thought that we were trying to save the town.

We were. Jack is trying to leave town.

I'd help but Twyla's my friend. Sorry.

At least I still have you, Skipper.

Uh, I need to return some books to the video store.

So these are the schools in the area.

Which one is it?

He knows we're watching and he's waiting.

He's a crafty little devil.

Ah-hah! He's playing the waiting game!

What is the waiting game?

You know, where he waits for us to give up

and then he goes in and gets the treasure.

But we're not giving up!

Don't give our position away!

We must move soon. No more spying.

- We must take action. - Yeah!

Thankfully, I have a plan.

No more waiting game for us, hey, Mama?

Stop that, you're scaring me!

Jack. Jack, you gotta come upstairs.

Your mom seems pretty upset.

Jack? Hello? Here, I'll sit for ya.

Jack. Hey, buddy. Jack? Your mom.

Will you come upstairs with me?

Jack? Oh, right. I'm a dog. I keep forgetting.

What is it, Skipper?

What is it, boy?

- Mom? - Hey, bud.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

You're crying.

I'm not crying, don't be silly.

I um...

I thought this place would be a new start for us, you know?

I was a fool to give up everything for this place.

It's OK, Mom.

It doesn't matter where we wind up.

As long as we're together, we're home.

Come here.

Thank you.

What if there was a way for us to pay for fixing the town

so that we could stay here?

That would take a miracle.

- Or Spanish treasure. - Not that again, Jack.

Let me try to find it. You said yourself it's safe here.

So at least let me try, please?

- Alright. - Yes!

But no breaking and entering, OK?

What is that smell?

I think I smell steak.

That's impossible. It's the middle of the night.

Oh, man, that sure smells like steak, though.

That's impossible. Steaks don't appear out of no... Oh, oh!

Jackpot!

Eat it, doggie.

A steak magically appearing in the back yard.

That's never happened before.

It's a delicious steak.

Oh, this is too good to be true.

I'm not eating that.

Then again, free steak.

Eat it!

What's wrong with this thing?

I don't know! This is every dog's dream come true!

I'd have to be stupid to eat that. There is no way someone

would just throw a perfectly good steak in the back yard.

It's gotta be a trick.

Do you think he knows it's stuffed full of tranquilizers?

It's probably stuffed full of tranquilizers.

No! No. He's just a stupid dog.

Nitwit animal won't comply with Mama's scheme to sedate him.

Let's just grab him!

Ooh, random back yard steak.

It's all my dreams coming true.

Chauncey, I would not eat that.

- I think it's a trick. - Yeah, sure it is.

- You snoozed, you losed. - OK, fine. Knock yourself out.

Never send a boy to do a man's job.

Stay here.

You keep eating that, Chauncey.

I'll take care of those two guys behind the barrels.

- I believe in you. - Thank you.

- I got it! - Yes!

I got him, I got him, I got him, I got him.

Very good, brother!

You have a real talent for the dognapping.

Well, I was a dog-catcher in Jersey.

- One of the best in town. - It makes sense.

Uh-huh. Great job, guys.

You've caught ein kitty! You're a kitty-napper!

You know, you've been a lot nicer to me ever since

we found out we were brothers.

Well, of course, bro.

Oh, I got a great idea. This is gonna be good.

This is gonna be so great.

These guys are gonna be in for it.

We need to find that dog.

Whaddya got? Whaddya got, Gunther?

- Not now, I'm thinking. - Whaddya got?

Just gonna wedge this down there. OK.

Here we go.

Turn this on here.

And that should do it.

Uh...

- Gunther? - I said not now!

Uh, yeah, but Gunther, your pants.

- Gunther? - What?

Your pants.

Uh...

Nice undies.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

Uh-oh. Oh, what the heck!

And that is why you never send a boy to do a man's job.

Hey, man, get me outta here!

Skipper? Skipper!

"If you want to see your dog alive again

you will find the treasure and give it to us.

Once you have it, await further instruction."

How will they know if we have it?

Do you think they're watching us?

Huh?

What are those kids doing?

They're sitting!

And, and... they're talking!

- So can you guys help me? - You need to call the police.

But if we call the police, they'll take the treasure.

Remember what Grandpops said? Grown-ups are greedy.

Yeah, like these dog-nappers.

You know, I bet it's the school they closed down years ago.

I probably have a key for it.

My mom has the key to everything.

- Which one is it? - Um, I think it's this one.

Let me see!

How did these three buffoons capture me?

Let me see!

- Oh. - Give them back!

Give them back.

There. Yeah. I see.

Look, I'm sorry for what I said about the town.

I never asked to move here and I was mad about it

but now that you guys are my friends,

at least I hope you're my friends, I wanna stay.

Well, how can you if these creeps get the treasure?

Well, I'm not gonna go to all that trouble to find it

and then just hand it over to them.

- Do you have a plan? - No, I'm making it up as I go.

That doesn't exactly inspire confidence.

But I'll still help you.

- Yeah. - Let's help.

They're leaving!

The game is afoot.

Don't do the evil laugh. You sound like a psycho.

You really think so?

That's right, kids. Lead us right to the treasure!

Faster.

Mama, we can't go any faster. We'll pass them.

- Good point. - Details.

This place is creepy.

It's a lot creepier with teachers.

How long ago did they close this place?

Before we started going to school.

Well, where should we look?

Well, the clue said heed the bell and hurry to your seat

so I think we should check a classroom.

Fred? What're you doing?

No treasure in here.

If there were only some kind of clue.

Wait a sec. Let's follow the arrow.

Hm.

Gunther, watch mein heel.

OK.

Don't worry, Mama.

We'll get it all.

Remember the plan.

Right! Get the clue.

Heed the bell and hurry to your seat.

Well, I'm in my seat. Now what?

Maybe someone else got to it first.

I hope, for your sake,

the last moments of your life aren't spent in this box.

You need a mint.

I think Twyla was right.

Nothing here.

Maybe it's in this envelope.

- It's got your name on it. - Let me see!

"Go to the home of the clapping hands?"

Ah-hah!

We followed you!

Once again the adults outsmart the children.

Yeah, real smart, pal. Now where's my dog?

Oh, you're never gonna find him,

'cause we got him locked in the trunk of our car!

- Really? - I am so sorry.

- That one's on me. - Yeah.

I'm running out of patience with you, young man.

- Where is it? - There's nothing here.

All we found was another clue.

Give it to me.

Run!

After them!

Go!

Looks like your friends have abandoned you.

Oh, boo-hoo. I'm so sad.

You don't scare me. I could take you.

You want to fight me?

I don't fight with children.

Chicken.

No, thank you. I've already had a complete breakfast.

- I am full. - No, I'm calling you a chicken.

In my homeland that is a compli...

My nose!

Ahh! Ohh.

Ah, you think you can pummel me into submission with those balls?

Think again.

I am captain of the German National Dodgeball team.

Three time world champion!

If dodgeball was an Olympic event

I'd have like three gold meda...

No! No!

No! Oh!

Look, I've been thinking

and I'm sorry I've been so stuck up lately, Twyla.

What're you talking about?

I'm trying to apologize to you.

Now?

Well, I might not get a chance later.

- Well, I'm... - Just go in here.

I'm the one who's sorry.

I was just as stuck up as you were.

It's not your fault, you made new friends.

Yeah, but I shouldn't have let them tell me

who I can be friends with.

- And I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, too.

And by the way, I think you look really cool.

Thank you. And you dress really nice, too.

- I know. - See, that is so nice.

You know, I just reconnected with my brother

so I know exactly what you're going through.

I was being nice!

You've got nothing!

What do you have?

Ahhhh.

Cat-like reflexes.

Get that out of my house!

That is enough!

I got you now.

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, I'm so pretty.

You didn't even give me a chance to stretch my hamstrings!

Now for the creme de la creme.

Marbles?

You think these are going to defeat me?

You are not as smart...

Are you guys OK?

- We're fine. - Are you good?

Yeah. Let's get out of here, OK? I have the clue.

- OK, let's go. - Let's go.

Enough!

Oh, hey kids.

What happened to you? Gunther?

I don't wish to talk about it.

- Ronnie. - I... I went for a little ride.

Oh, those monsters.

And the treasure?

It turns out it was another clue.

Grandpops proves to be a wily opponent,

even from beyond the grave.

Sounds like a buffoon.

The game is over, kinders.

The papers. Give us the papers.

- I don't have it. - Vat?

I mean, what?

My accent is rubbing off on you, bro.

- I have it. - Don't give it to her.

If you want to get your little doggie back,

you will give me the papers.

Skipper, are you OK, boy?

Well, she smelled a little but I'm fine.

Now, we leave.

Yeah.

Ha, ha! We win again, losers!

We have it.

- Just one second. - I can't reach it.

Can you reach it for me?

Very economical!

- Ha! - Ha!

To the right! I mean left.

- Are you OK, Skipper? - Yeah, I'm fine, Jack.

- Thanks. - OK.

It'll take them a while to figure out the clue

so if we haul tail then we can get there first.

What was that gibberish?

Go to the home of the clapping hands?

What does that even mean?

Follow me.

All we have to do is find this home of the clapping hands and we're rich!

- Oh, yes! - Yeah!

So where do you suppose this place could be?

Home of the clapping pants?

- Hands! - What?

Hands.

Your accent is so strong, Mama.

Ya.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the home of clapping hands.

The theater!

Oh, I get it. Applause.

Hey, it's pretty dark in here.

Hey, guys, someone should probably see

if they can get these lights to work.

Let me see if I can get the lights to work.

Oh, thanks. Thanks, Twyla, you're a peach.

Ah, there you go. That's better.

So this must be the home of clapping hands.

Clapping hands must mean the audience, right?

So the clue must be in the seats?

- Let's spread out and find it. - Yeah.

Someone's here.

The mannequin hand factory was a bust.

This is the only other place

where there would be clapping hands.

What about a flamenco dance studio?

That's a good one, bro.

- Hide! - Yes, absolutely.

I'll just hide back here. They'll never spot me here.

Thank you.

Search the theater!

And if by chance those kids appear, you know what to do.

Um...

You know what to do.

- Oh, oh, oh! - Well, I...

- Oh, oh, oh! - Ya?

We take the treasure from 'em!

- That's right! - Yes!

Sweet, sweet Ronnie.

Shh...

Now, go!

Pardon me.

"The Cameraman and the Sneaky German Reporter Lady?"

Grandpops.

It's Jack.

- He found another clue. - OK!

Oh, someone's there! We should hide.

Hm.

Ah-hah!

I got you now! Up you get.

After you, ladies.

To the right! I mean left.

Oh, sweet, Jack found something.

Geez, impatient much?

Well, he has a point.

Gunten-hello, little boy.

Get on there. Come on, right there.

There's no running. Come on.

Well, well, well, young man.

Looks like you have the treasure and we have your friends.

OK, these kids are in trouble. I've gotta do something.

I will give you to the count of drei to give it to us.

I've got to do something.

Don't get excited, don't get excited.

Be calm. Don't wanna fall asleep.

Eins, two. Drei!

Uh...

Let my friends go.

Whoa.

This is so cool.

Bow.

Bow.

Fred.

I am your father.

I have a very particular set of skills.

OK, enough, kid.

I think you're milking this a little too much.

I won't let them go 'til you give me the treasure!

You're making a big mistake.

We have your friends.

This is your last warning.

- Who are you to warn us? - Yeah.

OK. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Duck!

Oh, you come back!

- Ronnie! - Ronnie!

Ronnie!

Gunther!

Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I gotta, I gotta do something.

Man, that smoke looks dangerous.

My eyes!

I'm coming! I'm coming! OK, here we go!

Three, two, one.

Are you guys OK?

- Yeah, yeah, we're OK. - We're fine, we're fine.

- Where's the treasure? - Right here.

- A poster? - The treasure is a poster?

- It's another clue, isn't it? - I guess you could say that.

Not so fast.

Whatever that is, give it to us.

Or else what?

Skipper!

It appears the dog does not do too well with the smoke.

- Let him go! - Not until you give us that clue!

OK. But first, one more thing.

And what would that be?

He called me.

Darn it.

Not again.

I did not see this one coming.

Oh, buddy, are you OK?

- Come on, Skipper, wake up. - Skipper, please.

- Oh, buddy. - I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize the smoke would hurt you.

Come on. You don't want to miss us finding the treasure, do you, pal?

Oh, Jack.

Oh, hey!

- Skipper! - Did I save the day?

I did, I saved the day. Didn't I, huh?

- I didn't? - You're OK!

I slept. Did I fell asleep?

I did? I'm sorry.

You kids should have told me about those guys.

They had Skipper.

Who knows what they could have done to him.

Oh, I think Skipper can take care of himself.

Oh, I think old Skipper

knows how to take care of himself.

- So, let's see the clue. - Yes, come on.

- Let's see it, come on. - I wanna see it.

I remember Grandpops telling me about this!

He said it was a huge hit!

But how is that a clue?

It's in the shed?

Oh, it's petty dark in here, guys.

OK, OK. Let's spread out and find this thing.

Treasure, treasure. Where is the treasure?

Here we go. Oh, yeah, what've we got over here?

What's this?

Ugh!

I don't know what that is but someone should throw it out.

Wait, what've we got over here?

Hey, that's my old Frisbee. I've been looking for that.

What's this?

Hey, what'd you guys find?

That's Grandpop's trunk.

Jack, try your key.

Oh, biscuits!

It's just a bunch of old film equipment.

Those aren't the kind with the chocolate inside, right?

Nope.

Looks like you kids just saved the town.

Whew, do not go in there.

I think this is the life.

We should live here permanently.

Hey, guys, nice set-up. I like it.

But I was just talking to the mayor

and he said that he would spring for a fancy hotel

'cause you guys, you know, saved the town and everything.

- What do you say? - Hmm, I'm OK.

- We're good. - We can stay here.

- Yeah. - I would like to go to the hotel,

especially if it's fancy.

Sorry, Jen, I think you're out-voted.

But, on another note, I just came from the lawyer's office

and it turns out Grandpops left another surprise for Jack.

But you're only allowed to open it on one condition.

Are you ready for another adventure?

Should we do it?

- Yeah. - Good.

Jack, I wouldn't. Don't open that box.

Don't open that...

Oh, man.

Subtitles by explosiveskull