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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,890 --> 00:00:04,610 ♪ University. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,710 JIMMY: Big day, Mick. How we feeling? 3 00:00:08,070 --> 00:00:10,070 Huge day. I mean, are you kidding me? 4 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,300 Less than a year ago, this family was in total ruin. 5 00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:14,920 Then Old Mick steps in and saves the day. 6 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,659 - I'm so proud of you. - I mean, what parent can say 7 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:17,970 they got their kid into Yale? 8 00:00:17,990 --> 00:00:20,050 Hey, you're not our parent. 9 00:00:20,090 --> 00:00:21,800 - Well, you're a bastard. - Hey, guys, 10 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,880 what's it like watching your big sis graduate? 11 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,490 I'm happy for her but sad for me. 12 00:00:25,910 --> 00:00:27,190 I'm frickin' pumped. 13 00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:28,390 Now with Sabrina out of the way, 14 00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:30,060 I can finally blossom. 15 00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,100 The era of Chip 2.0 begins now. 16 00:00:32,130 --> 00:00:33,620 What was wrong with the old Chip? 17 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:34,710 Ugh. He was no good. 18 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,100 I could do way better. 19 00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:37,580 It all starts with the end of the year rager 20 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,170 - I'm throwing tomorrow. - Normally, I'd say 21 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:40,819 your nerd friends aren't allowed in my house, 22 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:43,270 but I'm feeling particularly good today, so go nuts. 23 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,590 Terence Ogilvy, Emory University. 24 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,200 [SCOFFS] Emory. Sorry, Terence. 25 00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:51,130 - Hope your parents still love you. - [LAUGHTER] 26 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:52,270 Excuse me. 27 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,800 We're Terence's parents. 28 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,470 Emory is a wonderful school. 29 00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:57,470 Is it? Oh. All right. 30 00:00:57,510 --> 00:00:59,510 - I've just never heard of it. - Where is your kid going? 31 00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:01,380 Why don't you turn around? Maybe you'll learn something. 32 00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:04,600 Sabrina Pemberton, Yale University. 33 00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,360 [WHOOPING, CHEERING] 34 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,530 - All right! - That's how we do! 35 00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:10,530 - That's what I'm talking about! - [AIR HORN BLARES] 36 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,590 - [CHEERING, WHOOPING] - Yeah! 37 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,440 - [WHOOPS] - Yeah! 38 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,510 It's weird to think at least a third of these kids 39 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,120 are gonna be addicted to opioids at some point. 40 00:01:20,190 --> 00:01:21,310 What are you talking about? 41 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:22,680 - Guess who. - [GASPS] 42 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,070 It's Farble, you stupid idiot. 43 00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:26,580 Ugh, why are your hands so wet? 44 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,500 My palms sweat. Get over it. 45 00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:29,840 I heard you're having a party tomorrow. 46 00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:31,920 - I'm coming. - Quit it. 47 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,190 Let me know if you need help setting up. 48 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,650 - All right. Who's that? - Frickin' Farble. 49 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,810 We made out at Formal and now she won't leave me alone. 50 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,680 Well, what's the problem? Chick's into you. 51 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,650 Yeah, I know, and it's terrifying. 52 00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:46,010 Oh, I don't know, man. I say you go for it. 53 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:48,200 No. Farble, she was just a detour. 54 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:50,150 I want a girl like Madison. 55 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:52,440 Look, girls like Madison are more trouble 56 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,610 than they're worth, okay? Frabble, on the other hand... 57 00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,550 - Farble. - All right, look. Whatever. 58 00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,979 Okay, the two of you can form a partnership where you're free 59 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:01,430 to explore each other's bodies in a non-judgmental way. 60 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,980 You know, does that feel good? 61 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,400 Does that hurt? What's that thing? 62 00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:10,170 - [GLASS RINGING] - Guys. 63 00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:13,650 We finally made it. The day has arrived. 64 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,360 And I think I speak for everyone at this table 65 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,070 when I say we could not be happier 66 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,670 - to see you go. - [LAUGHTER] 67 00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:21,470 - Oh. - To the end of an era. 68 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,100 And to the beginning of a new chapter. 69 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,260 To the death of tyranny and to the birth of freedom. 70 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:28,090 - From the fiery pits of h... - Okay. 71 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:30,230 - Okay, I get it. - Yeah? You got it? 72 00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:32,470 - Hey, congratulations. - Thank you. 73 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,210 [LAUGHS] Mmm. 74 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:37,950 I got something to say. 75 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,760 [SNIFFS] 76 00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,860 Sabrina, I learned a lot from you this year. 77 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,460 I can only hope that you learned from me, too. 78 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:51,370 Because even though I can't... 79 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,800 call you my little girl anymore, 80 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,700 that... the... [GROANS] 81 00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:58,660 [GULPS SQUEAKILY] 82 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,550 Need a minute? 83 00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:03,340 No more toasts, 'kay? 84 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,640 - Let's just eat. - ALBA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,240 So, Sabrina, are you excited to leave? 86 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,050 - Yeah, when you leavin'? - Do you have an exact date? 87 00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:10,040 No. I don't... I don't know. 88 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:11,820 Probably not for a while. Let's talk about something else. 89 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,380 Oh, not so fast. While we're on the topic. 90 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,839 Um, I was looking at the Yale Web site, they have all kinds 91 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,000 - of amazing summer courses. - You brought a brochure? 92 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:19,960 Yeah, 'cause I thought you might be interested in spending 93 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,220 your summer building robots. 94 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,370 - I'm not. - ALBA: Well, it's never too early 95 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,530 - to get acclimated to the campus. - MICKEY: That's true. 96 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,799 You know what you could do is you could just pack up... 97 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,180 - I'm not going. - All right, fine, but, you know, 98 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,120 y-you don't just build the robots, you also race them. 99 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,520 I don't care about the robots, I'm not going to Yale. 100 00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:42,220 No, no, no. Y-You got to go. 101 00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:43,910 The reign of Chip has already begun. 102 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:46,439 Right, and-and-and Pembertons go to Yale. 103 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,200 Isn't that, isn't that the family motto? 104 00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:49,980 - I don't want to talk about it. - I don't care 105 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,910 if you want to talk about it or not, I do, okay? 106 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,940 Because this is a decision that doesn't just affect you. 107 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,200 I didn't get in, okay? 108 00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:58,620 Happy? 109 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,180 [DOOR OPENS] 110 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,100 [DOOR CLOSES] 111 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,630 All right, I'm ready. [SNIFFS] 112 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,620 Sab... Where'd she go? 113 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,600 Oh man, college is so awesome. [LAUGHS] 114 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:18,910 Uh, bong rips and Hacky Sack and hung guys. 115 00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:20,670 Oh, I would have been so good at college. 116 00:04:20,690 --> 00:04:21,889 Can you focus, please? 117 00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:23,760 I shouldn't have to remind you that the stakes are high. 118 00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:25,560 You want Sabrina to live with us for the rest of her life? 119 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,340 - No, that cannot happen. - I won't allow it. 120 00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:31,690 Hello. I'd like to speak with Dean Kirkland, please. 121 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,080 - Do you have an appointment? - Yes. Yes. 122 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,420 - We are next. - Great. What's your name? 123 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,040 [PHONE RINGING NEARBY] 124 00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:40,840 Chang. We're the Changs. 125 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:43,369 Look, unfortunately, Dean Kirkland 126 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,780 is completely booked up. 127 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:47,720 I can get you in the first week of August. 128 00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:49,240 That's two months from now. 129 00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,880 Sorry, it's the best I can do. 130 00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,150 Okay. 131 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,329 Well, that's that. We're stuck with the bitch. 132 00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,190 Uh-uh. I'm not leaving until I get five minutes 133 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,490 - with Dean Kirkland. - What? 134 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,500 - Give me a cigarette and some matches. - Oh, okay. 135 00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,740 - What are you gonna do? - I'm doing a hot foot. 136 00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,220 - I'm gonna stick this to her shoe. - Yeah. 137 00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:10,540 Once the cigarette burns down, the matches ignite and... 138 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:13,380 - Kaboom. Bitch is toast. Yeah. - What? No. 139 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,469 Not kaboom. I just want to create a diversion 140 00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:17,600 so I can slip in to the dean's office for a little face time. 141 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,100 Oh, genius. Okay. What should I do? 142 00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,690 You just make sure Brian Chang 143 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:22,940 stays as far away from here as possible. 144 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,870 What? Wait? How will I know which one he is? 145 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,960 Don't worry about it. I know a Chang when I see one. 146 00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:30,120 Man, there-there are a lot of 'em, aren't there? 147 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,960 - Okay. Uh, plan B. - Okay, what should we...? 148 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,320 - Chang! - What? 149 00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,320 - Chang! - What are we do...? 150 00:05:36,340 --> 00:05:37,500 I... what are we...? 151 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:39,680 Uh... Oh, no. Uh, Chang? 152 00:05:39,780 --> 00:05:41,450 Hi, I-I'm Brian Chang. 153 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,250 - This is my mom, Susan. - Hi. 154 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:46,150 Hi. I, uh, I am Alba... Smith. 155 00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:49,390 I am an as-associate of Dean Kirkland. 156 00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:51,590 She asked me to take you on a tour. 157 00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:52,690 - Oh. Okay. - Mm-hmm. 158 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,460 So, right this way, please. 159 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,530 Uh, is this your first visit to Yale? 160 00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:58,360 No. I-I visited last fall. 161 00:05:58,470 --> 00:06:01,360 Oh, yes. So you are familiar with this building. 162 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:04,280 - [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - ♪ 163 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,920 Bro, this house is sick. I could pee, like, 20 times, 164 00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:08,250 and still not use all the bathrooms. 165 00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:11,109 Yeah. Never thought of it like that. 166 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:12,750 Still haven't seen any bedrooms. 167 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,089 - Oh... look, uh, Emily... - Farble. 168 00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:18,720 [SIGHS] You call yourself that? 169 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:19,990 It's my name, you dip. 170 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:23,120 Okay, look. Farble, um... 171 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:26,489 I'm... I-I had a great time at the dance. 172 00:06:26,490 --> 00:06:28,820 I'm just not really looking for a relationship right now. 173 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,560 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to be your girlfriend. 174 00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:33,399 - You don't? - I got a list of crap 175 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,860 I want to try before high school, and I bet you do, too. 176 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:38,770 - I do, but I... - But nothing. 177 00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:40,210 This will be our little secret. 178 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:44,609 All right. You got a deal, Emily. 179 00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:45,540 Farble. 180 00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:54,070 Hey, sorry. I didn't realize... 181 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,140 [CRYING]: He's such a dick. 182 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,080 Who-who are we talking about again? 183 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:02,120 Nico. I hate him. 184 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,390 Thank you. 185 00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:10,450 I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 186 00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,980 Oh, no, don't be. Don't be sorry. 187 00:07:13,690 --> 00:07:14,800 You know... 188 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,360 let it... let it out. 189 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,720 How many libraries are on campus? 190 00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:24,820 Uh, 53. Yeah. 191 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:27,190 - Wow. That's a lot. - Oh, yeah. Nerds love it here. 192 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,360 [LAUGHS] Wha... 193 00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:30,060 [LAUGHING] 194 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,070 Who threw this? Oh! 195 00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:33,300 This is a Yale Frisbee, 196 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,070 a quintessential college item. 197 00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,540 You want to throw it back, Brian? 198 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:37,820 [CHUCKLES] That's okay. 199 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,140 Okay, tell you what. 200 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,760 You hit that big-ass tree, 201 00:07:41,650 --> 00:07:42,889 and you are in. 202 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:44,580 No applications, no interviews. 203 00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:46,930 Just this toss. 204 00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:56,350 Yes! Yes! Yes! 205 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,470 - [MUSIC PLAYING] - _ 206 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:06,910 Class of '98? 207 00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,020 Oh, you know it. Yeah. 208 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,100 Find your name. Come on in. 209 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:11,520 Uh, here it is. Okay. 210 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,220 - Have fun. - Thanks. 211 00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:17,390 Hey, screw Nico. He's an idiot for dumping you. 212 00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:19,420 And I don't mean to speak out of turn, but... 213 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:22,759 I-I've seen his dong in the locker room, and it's... 214 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,020 it's whatever. 215 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,160 Thanks for being so nice. 216 00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:28,280 Let me go grab us some drinks. When I get back, 217 00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,810 we're gonna turn that frown upside down. 218 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,270 Deal? 219 00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:32,900 Deal. 220 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,809 Hi. I just... I wanted to apologize for earlier. 221 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,000 You know, I was trying to help my kid, 222 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,630 and I let my emotions get the best of me. 223 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,180 - It's fine. I understand. - Okay. 224 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,500 But I would love to take that August slot if it's still open. 225 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,239 I can squeeze you in 226 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,260 - on the 5th or the 15th. - Oh, shoot! 227 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,400 I'm so sorry. 228 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,680 It's fine. It's fine. 229 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,170 - I got it. - Oh, let me... I can help. 230 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,730 - Here. - It's totally fine. 231 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,280 - I got it. - I'm so clumsy. 232 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,800 Oh, boy. Oh, sorry about that. 233 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,020 Okay, and thank you. 234 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,120 See you in August. 235 00:09:03,150 --> 00:09:05,110 Okay. Oh, wait, I didn't get your name. 236 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,220 Is something burning? 237 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,960 Oh, my God! [SCREAMING] 238 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,200 Oh, Mrs. Chang? 239 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,790 No. But it does say a lot about your character 240 00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:33,189 that you didn't question that. 241 00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:34,290 - No, hi. I'm Mickey Molng. - Oh. 242 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,130 - Sorry, but I have an appointment. - Oh, no. 243 00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,400 Don't you worry about the Changs. 244 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,500 Changs are good. They're out there Chang-ing it up. 245 00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,370 Um, Um, I need to talk to yu 246 00:09:41,470 --> 00:09:42,890 about a student that was rejected. 247 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:43,959 Sabrina Pemberton. 248 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,740 I'm sorry, but I'm not at liberty to discuss 249 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,130 - our ad... - Just hear me out, okay? 250 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:49,670 Sabrina is incredible. 251 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,680 She's the smartest person I know. And resilient. 252 00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,619 I mean, she's been through hell this year 253 00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,719 and still she manages to get good grades, 254 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,690 keep a jam-packed social schedule, 255 00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:01,280 a-and look like a movie star while doing it. 256 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,260 It's infuriating. 257 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,700 She sounds wonderful. 258 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,280 Our problem here at Yale 259 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,250 is we get too many wonderful applicants. 260 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,250 Yeah. 261 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,310 I-I'm gonna level with you. 262 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,840 She's the worst. 263 00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:14,810 - Excuse me? - Sabrina. She's a dick. 264 00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,810 Smart, sure. But cruel. 265 00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:18,300 Nasty little mouth on her. 266 00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:19,680 And I need you to let her 267 00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:21,199 go to school here, right? 268 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,160 Before she sucks the soul right out of my ass. 269 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,400 I'm sorry. 270 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,230 There really isn't anything I can do. 271 00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:28,500 Why?! Can you just tell me why? 272 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,900 Ma'am, I'm going to ask you to leave. 273 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,040 And I'm going to decline, okay? 274 00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:35,820 Because there's nothing that you or security 275 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,080 or the cops or their dogs can do to me 276 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,700 that's worse than what I got waiting for me at home. 277 00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:42,590 So I'm not leaving this office 278 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,860 until you give me one legitimate reason 279 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,920 why Sabrina Pemberton was not accepted. 280 00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:57,770 She got in. 281 00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:00,100 She what now? 282 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,840 She was notified a few months ago. 283 00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:06,270 Liar! 284 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:08,090 How many times do I have to tell you to knock? 285 00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:11,620 I went to Yale, Sabrina. I spoke to admissions. 286 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,450 What? What is wrong with you? 287 00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:14,980 Why did you tell me you didn't get in? 288 00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:16,690 Because it's none of your business. 289 00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:19,360 Okay. Well, then, I guess I'll just have to beat it out of you. 290 00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:20,120 Hey! 291 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,630 Why aren't you going to Yale, Sabrina? 292 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,530 I just don't want to go, okay? 293 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,180 - Will you stop it? - No! 294 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,500 Not until you answer me. 295 00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:28,460 [SIGHS] Yale is pretentious. 296 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:29,960 You're pretentious. Try again. 297 00:11:30,670 --> 00:11:31,840 It was built by slaves. 298 00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:34,320 Your shoes were built by slaves. Come on, Sabrina. 299 00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:36,270 I don't have to explain myself to you. 300 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,609 The least you can do is explain yourself to me. 301 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,250 I'm scared, okay? 302 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,440 What if I don't like it there? 303 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:47,940 What if my, my dorm is gross 304 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000 and I have to wear socks in the shower? 305 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,620 What if... 306 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,360 what if the parties suck and... 307 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,360 and everybody's nerdy and lame 308 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,710 and way smarter than me? 309 00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,710 What if I peaked in high school? 310 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:01,260 Get in the car. I want to show you something. 311 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,940 - No. - Get in the car! 312 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,779 Dude, there you are. 313 00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:08,989 Where the heck you been? 314 00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:10,920 You know, just dealing with some host duties. 315 00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,020 Uh... 316 00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,680 Well, whatever you're doing, keep it up. 317 00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,360 This kicker is thumpin'. 318 00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:18,040 Thanks, Farble. 319 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:20,310 T.J. Zappacosta just busted out some... 320 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,080 sick, like, break dancing windmill move. 321 00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:24,440 - I wish I could have seen it. - Yeah. 322 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,740 Then Nico Puccinelli showed up, and he and Madison 323 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,640 started ripping each other's heads off. 324 00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,610 - What? When? - Like, ten seconds ago, bro. 325 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,780 They're still going at it. 326 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,550 NICO: You weren't picking up your phone, all right? 327 00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:34,680 And I get here, and someone's telling me 328 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:35,959 you're off with some random guy? 329 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,080 MADISON: We weren't even doing anything. 330 00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:38,450 You're the one that broke up with me. 331 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,330 [LAUGHING] 332 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:44,149 ["GOOD" BY BETTER THAN EZRA PLAYING] 333 00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:45,420 - Beer, please. - Sure. 334 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,540 Oh, college was crazy, right? 335 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,210 - Best years of my life. - Mmm. 336 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,610 [LAUGHS] Hey, you want to do a shot? 337 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,280 Uh, actually, I was just about to leave. 338 00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:57,120 What? No. Hey, what are you talking about? 339 00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,900 Hey, the party's just getting started. 340 00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:01,160 Honestly, I-I don't even know why I came back. 341 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:02,290 This was a mistake. 342 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,590 Oh, no. 343 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,390 Only mistake you are making 344 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:08,070 is not doing a shot with a fellow Bulldog. 345 00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,700 What the heck? I'll do one. 346 00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:12,080 Okay! [LAUGHS] 347 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,380 [SABRINA SIGHS] 348 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,800 This place is really bumming me out. 349 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:16,910 Why are we here? 350 00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,670 Poodle ever talk to you about our mom? 351 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,520 - No, not really. - Yeah. 352 00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:21,660 Well, she took off 353 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,390 when we were both about your age. 354 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,660 Where'd she go? 355 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,360 Nobody knows. 356 00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:28,020 She gave us each 5,000 bucks, 357 00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:29,430 and we never saw her again. 358 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:31,530 Geez, that's... dark. 359 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,570 Your mom used her money to move to New York City 360 00:13:33,670 --> 00:13:34,890 to follow her dreams. 361 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,300 Well, she became a stripper. 362 00:13:36,410 --> 00:13:38,750 She was a waitress in a strip club. 363 00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:41,210 So, what'd you do with your share? 364 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,120 I bought a samurai sword. 365 00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:46,640 You spent $5,000 on a samurai sword? 366 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,699 It was, like, $4,200. 367 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,700 God, I don't know what happened to the rest. 368 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,940 But the point is, she took a big swing. 369 00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:52,740 I never even left the dugout. 370 00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:54,010 Because you were scared. 371 00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:55,270 That's right. 372 00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,220 Okay, I see your point. 373 00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,850 Still don't know why we're here. 374 00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:03,790 There she is. 375 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,710 God, she's beautiful. 376 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:08,370 Had to use her to pay a bar tab. 377 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,739 That's a big bar tab. 378 00:14:09,740 --> 00:14:12,210 Well, I had quite a drinking problem back then. 379 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,570 Oh, yeah? 380 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,810 And now it just sits up there, mocking me. 381 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,140 If it bothers you so much, why don't you just buy it back? 382 00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,840 Sabrina, that is a Fumetsu Katana, okay? 383 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:24,459 You don't just buy those back. 384 00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,959 It's probably tripled in value. 385 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,160 Okay, so just take it. 386 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,250 It's all nailed up to the wall and stuff. 387 00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:32,320 - You know, that'd be, like, a whole thing. - Huh. 388 00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,320 I'm hearing a lot of excuses. 389 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:37,190 All right, don't do that. I see what you're doing. 390 00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:40,160 Mickey, I'm just saying, it sounds like you're still scared 391 00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:42,400 after, what, 50 years? 392 00:14:46,390 --> 00:14:47,660 There you are. 393 00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:49,909 Where's Madison? 394 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:52,580 - Fighting with her boyfriend. - Great. Go defend her. 395 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,610 Are you crazy? That guy will kill me. 396 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,079 So what? All right? Sometimes you win a fight 397 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,549 - by getting your ass kicked. - That must make you 398 00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:01,819 the heavyweight champion of the world. 399 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:04,500 Chip, who do you think Madison's gonna choose, okay? 400 00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:07,480 The jerk that pummels some weakling and ruins the party? 401 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,020 Or the sweet, caring guy that gets decimated for her? 402 00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:14,820 Now get down there and get your ass rocked. 403 00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,270 Come on. 404 00:15:18,370 --> 00:15:20,650 - [LAUGHS] - How do I not remember you? 405 00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:23,010 - Ah, I was invisible back then. - [LAUGHS] 406 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:26,280 Hey, you're not invisible anymore, Melanie. 407 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,999 - [ROLLING THUNDER] - Oh! 408 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,230 - [LAUGHS] - Oh, wow. 409 00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:32,080 [BOTH LAUGHING] 410 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,060 Come on, this way. This way. [LAUGHING] 411 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,410 [BOTH SIGH] 412 00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:41,010 [EDWARD GASPS] 413 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,750 [MOANING] 414 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:45,999 What the hell is a hot foot? 415 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,420 How does nobody know what a hot...? Listen, doesn't matter. 416 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,530 Just distract the bartender. Pay attention. 417 00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:52,570 Yeah, how am I supposed to do that? 418 00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:54,510 You got into Yale. Figure it out. 419 00:15:57,270 --> 00:15:59,140 - How you doing over here? - I have a question. 420 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,000 How much would it be to buy the samurai sword above the bar? 421 00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:06,060 Um... 50 bucks? 422 00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:08,300 - $50? - $40 if you got cash. 423 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,830 [SABRINA LAUGHS] 424 00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:12,430 - Hey, what'd I miss? - Not much. 425 00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:13,840 Just this kind gentleman telling me 426 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:16,570 he'd sell me that samurai sword for $40. 427 00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,570 - Wait. What? - BARTENDER: What the...? 428 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:20,640 - Hey. Put it out! Put it out! - Oh, God. 429 00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:22,860 SABRINA: Oh! Oh! Oh! 430 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,160 MICKEY: Oh, boy. 431 00:16:24,161 --> 00:16:26,730 - Oh, my God. Oh! - My foot! 432 00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,900 Okay, what are you waiting for? Go grab it! 433 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,660 Are you insane? No. 434 00:16:30,770 --> 00:16:32,580 I can't do that. I'm not wearing the right shoes, 435 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,940 and it's on fire, and it's super high up. 436 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,680 - Excuses. - [GLASS BREAKING] 437 00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:40,680 [GRUNTS] 438 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,370 Hey, what do you think you're doing? 439 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,650 - [SIZZLING] - [SCREAMING] 440 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,820 Mickey! Mickey? 441 00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:49,420 - Got it! Got it! - Whoa! 442 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:50,730 God, I got it. 443 00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:53,469 - What are you doing?! - That... Ah, you stay back. 444 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,900 It's my sword, and I'm taking it with me. 445 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,840 - Mickey, calm down. - What, are you crazy, lady? 446 00:16:56,900 --> 00:17:00,060 - [SABRINA AND MICKEY YELL] - You cut my ear off! 447 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,800 - Oh, yeah? Let me see. - Hey, you nuts?! 448 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,810 Stay back. Okay. 449 00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:06,160 No, no, it's good. I just snipped the tip. 450 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:08,040 - You're fine. - You cut my ear off, you crazy bitch! 451 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:08,840 - What are you doing? - Go! 452 00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:10,550 Can we talk about it in the car? 453 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,740 You don't follow us. Stay away from us. 454 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,430 [CRAZY YELLING] 455 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,150 Shut up, Nico. Just shut up. 456 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,240 Look, I told you. I-I was at Carter's house. 457 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,580 Can I help you with something, bro? 458 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:21,820 Don't talk to him like that. 459 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,540 That's Chip. This is his house. 460 00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:25,010 That is true. 461 00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,620 Um, and house rule number one is, 462 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,190 um, you have to respect women. 463 00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:32,320 And if you can't abide by that rule, 464 00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,029 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 465 00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:37,449 Dude, get out of my face before I throttle you in your own home. 466 00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:39,510 Here we go. Your brother's gonna get creamed. 467 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,550 - I can't see. - Oh, yeah. 468 00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:43,140 Let's get you up on my shoulders. 469 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:45,860 I'm not gonna tell you again. 470 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,819 - Behave yourself or... - Or what? Hmm? 471 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:50,580 Huh? What are you gonna do? 472 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,380 - [CROWD GASPING, GROANING] - [THUDDING] 473 00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:58,160 - Chip, I can't believe you... - Hands off him. He's with me. 474 00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,619 You guys are together? 475 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,040 Cat's out of the bag. 476 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,490 Damn it, Farble. I thought we agreed. 477 00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:07,790 Ah, crap, you're right. Sorry. 478 00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,930 I can't believe you chopped my ear off. 479 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,000 Oh, all right. 480 00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:14,139 Settle down. We all got a little banged up, all right? 481 00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:17,360 - You want to trade? - Ugh. You lit the bar on fire. 482 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,720 - That's on you. - That's on the bartender. 483 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,330 I think I'm gonna try Yale. 484 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,869 Really? 485 00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:29,340 Yeah, at least for a semester. 486 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:35,960 [MICKEY GROANS SOFTLY] 487 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,500 I want you to have this. 488 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:44,870 That's okay. It's-it's yours, you know? 489 00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,600 Really, it's okay. You can put it 490 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,910 above your bed, you know, in your dorm. 491 00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:50,550 It's fine. I don't want to be the sword girl or anything. 492 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:52,550 What's wrong with being the sword girl? 493 00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:53,770 Come on, it's a gift. 494 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,660 Mickey, I don't want your weird samurai sword! 495 00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:58,690 - Whoa. - Uh... 496 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,500 [ROLLING THUNDER] 497 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:04,590 Oh. God. 498 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,100 - Mickey, open the door! - No. 499 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,860 - [DOOR RATTLES] - Oh, come on, open it! 500 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,640 No, not until you accept my sword. 501 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,580 Fine. Give me it. Are you happy?! 502 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,640 Oh, well, twirl it around a little bit, you know? 503 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,640 - Come on. - I'm getting soaking wet! 504 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,100 Okay, well, that's life. 505 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,310 You get wet, and then you dry off, all right? 506 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,510 - Now give me a chop! - This is ridiculous. 507 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,540 All right, how's that feel? 508 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,149 - Pretty good, actually. - Pretty good, right? 509 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:31,450 - Yeah. - All right. 510 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,440 Now you show the world you're not afraid! 511 00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:34,770 - [GRUNTS] - Yes! 512 00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:37,560 - Now yell it! - I'm not afraid of you! 513 00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,540 Come on! I can't hear you! 514 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,539 I'm not afraid of you, world! 515 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,500 You hear that, you son of a bitch? 516 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,210 I'm not afraid of anything! 517 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:49,760 And I'm going to Yale... 518 00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:53,240 - [LOUD THUNDERCLAP] - Oh! Sabrina?! 519 00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:55,290 Sabrina, are you...? Oh! 520 00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,010 Oh, you crapped yourself. Okay. 521 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,160 That's okay. I'm okay with that. 522 00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:02,220 Oh, God! Hold on. Hold on. 523 00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:08,840 Melanie? Where are you going? 524 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:12,270 Uh, I have to go home. 525 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,220 I want to see you again. Where-where should I...? 526 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,200 Shh. 527 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,690 I will see you at the next one. 528 00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:20,820 Mmm. 529 00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,280 [DOOR OPENS] 530 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:27,180 - [RHYTHMIC BEEPING AND WHOOSHING] - DOCTOR: Because 531 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,380 the lightning hit the sword first, this is what's known 532 00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:32,279 as a "side splash," but her injuries are consistent 533 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,540 with a direct hit. 534 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:37,580 The force of the bolt exiting her body blew off her big toe. 535 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,020 Ugh. Oh, my. 536 00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:44,450 Also took a pretty good nick out of her ear, I see. 537 00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:47,840 - So, is she gonna be okay? - Yes. Yeah. 538 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:50,370 Of course she's gonna be okay. 539 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,569 Right? 540 00:20:52,570 --> 00:20:54,020 Sabrina's lucky to be alive. 541 00:20:55,110 --> 00:20:56,619 Until she regains consciousness, 542 00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:59,159 we won't know how this affects her cognitive ability 543 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,650 or her motor functions. 544 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,520 I'm very sorry. 545 00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:11,270 ♪ Come on, baby, let the good times roll ♪ 546 00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:13,900 ♪ Come on, baby, let me thrill your soul ♪ 547 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,310 ♪ Yeah, come on, baby, let the good times roll ♪ 548 00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:21,960 ♪ Roll on and on ♪ 549 00:21:22,060 --> 00:21:25,220 ♪ Come on, baby, yes, this is real ♪ 550 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,600 ♪ Come on, baby, show me how you feel, yeah. ♪ 40231

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