All language subtitles for The Female Brain (2017) WEB Eng

Okay. H -- h.. Is this..
H -- hello?

I am Julia Brizendine
and I am a neurologist.

I know.
Sounds geeky.

But I basically
stare into

people's heads all day,
which is a dream for me

because ever since
I was a kid

I've always wished

I could read
people's minds.

Life is so much easier
now that I have a machine

that lets me see
inside people's brains.

I can even find out

someone's
emotional intelligence

by showing them photos
of faces

and then seeing
if they can identify

the expressions on them.

Sorry, I'm being
such a dork, but come on.

How cool is that?

Anyway, I -- I work
at a university now

and I think
what ultimately drives
my research today

is my fascination
and frustration

with phrases like this..

Women...are...crazy.

Men...are...stupid.

Women are obsessed

with marriage.

Men are obsessed with sex.

Right?

These are all stereotypes

that at one point
or another

we've probably all heard.

Maybe even thought.

Now, I'm not
only gonna talk

about the female brain
today.

We know a lot more
about the male brain

but that's mostly because
they've been studied more.

We know that, uh,
men have bigger heads

and thicker skulls.

And in the old days,
scientists used to think

that that meant that
they had bigger brains too.

But in 1995,
we found out

that women have
the exact same number

of brain cells,
just jammed
into a smaller space.

So, if we just found that
out recently

then what else
don't we know

about the male
and the female brain?

Well, we already know
that we struggle

to understand
and relate to each other

but the good news is
that in my studies

I discovered a lot about
how our primal neurology

effects
and sometimes sabotages

our relationships.

This is Steven and Lisa

and they've been married
for 12 years.

Now, like any couple

Steven and Lisa
have their issues

but what if I could
tell you

that a lot
of their problems

actually have
a biological basis.

What are you doing, dude?
Get off!

I feel like this mirror
is gonna fall.

- What do you think?
- I don't know. I'm 40.

Now you come on, get up.
Help me.

So I figure,
wouldn't it be helpful

to just see inside
their heads

to find out why
they act the way they do?

Well, first of all,
it's helpful to know

that women are generally
more sensitive
to threats than men are.

This is because of
the part of the brain

that senses danger,
the amygdala.

In women, this area
is more easily activated

which is why
we're more attuned
to potential dangers

that men
may not even notice.

It also doesn't help
that we're typically

smaller than men
and full of holes.

Hurry up.

So, the reason couples
are less passionate

after being together
for a while

is because
after about two years

their brains
stop producing dopamine

the feel good chemical.

After that,
they produce oxytocin

which bonds you
with someone.

This explains why Steven
and Lisa are less sexual

but more committed.

And yes,
this even happens

to attractive people.

Are you gonna pick up Ty
at school or am I?

I'm done early.
I'll do it.

Okay. Let go.

It's -- it's
the same thing.

Whatever.

Oh, come on.

- Mom! Let's go!
- Okay.

Ow! Ow!

This is Lexi and Adam.

They've been together
for two or three years

depending on who you ask.

Ow! Oh. Oh. Ow.

- Better, right?
- What am I looking at?

You don't notice
anything different?

Oh, oh, yeah!

- That is better.
- What is?

- Your face.
- Eyebrows!

Oh, right.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Or do you think
I need to darken them?

I don't know,
I feel like suddenly
I've got this fringe.

They kind of,
they kind of disappear

and it makes me look
a bit ill.

The area of the brain
responsible

for recognizing
errors and flaws

is larger
in the female brain.

This makes women
more self-conscious

and more likely
to be perfectionists.

Scientists call it
hyper-vigilance

whereas people tend to
call it being neurotic.

Can we not play
the eyebrow game today?

- I'm sorry.
- I mean I suck at it.

- I really do.
- Okay. Okay.

Okay.

- It's my teeth.
- Hmm.

I whitened them too much.

Ugh! You see?

They're whiter
than the whites
of my eyes.

It makes my skin yellow.

- Classic.
- I don't want to play --

Classic
teeth whitening mistake.

- I'm bad at the
teeth game too.
- Is it?

Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, I gotta get the fuck
out of here. I'm late.

No! Stop!

Don't touch that!

- Back off! Get away.
- Please. Just..

You wanna pop it.

- Can I just say
one thing?
- No.

That is
a clogged hair follicle

and I can deal with that
in two seconds.

- No, I don't want you
to deal with it.
- It'll be gone.

- Just like that. Please.
- No. Don't touch it.

- Leave it alone.
- Please.

Grooming causes
the female brain

to release endorphins,
another feel-good
chemical.

This is nature's way
of motivating us

to stay hygienic
and prevent infection.

Monkeys do it.

Lions do it.

Girlfriends do it.

- It hurts like a bitch.
- You never let me
do anything!

And you don't use
the scrub I gave you

and also let us not forget

the extremely generous
Christmas present
I gave you.

It was the gift voucher
for the Brazilian
straightening.

- Yes.
- Ah!

- You're welcome.
- Right!

The gift voucher for the
Brazilian straightening.

- For my hair.
- Yeah. Yes.

Right. Yeah, no,
you're right.

I didn't use that actually

'cause I -- I like my hair.

It looks..
It looks cool.

It looks disheveled and..

...it makes me feel
dangerous.

Like unpredictable..

"Who -- who is that guy?"

- Like, "What's -- what's
his story?" You know?
- No.

"What's he up to?
I don't trust him.

I don't trust him."
I like it.

I feel like I look like

Bo Duke from
"The Dukes Of Hazzard."

I don't even know
who that is.

You don't know
"The Dukes Of Hazzard?"

You don't get
"The Dukes Of Hazzard"
in the UK?

No.

Well, maybe it was
my American accent.

Y -- you don't know
"The Dukes Of Hazzard?"

You've never heard of
"The Dukes Of Hazzard?"

The Duke boys?

They get in the car
and they jump!

And they jump around.
They -- they ju..

They get in their little..
Oh! Oh!

- Looks like the Duke boys
are up to no good!
- That's not my voice.

- You've never seen that?
- That's not how
British people talk.

- You say
"Dukes Of Hazzard."
- "Dukes Of Hazzard."

"Dukes Of Hazzard."

I don't want to get
my hair straightened.

One, 'cause I like
the way it looks

and I'm a guy,
I have a girlfriend.

- It doesn't even matter.
Who cares?
- Yeah.

Well, my dad does
because it's his

60th birthday this weekend

and I think he would
appreciate a sleek...do.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

If your dad cares about
the way my hair looks

I will give him
a million..

I'll give him
a blowjob.

I will get a rocket
and go shoot him and I

into space,
and I will give him
ten blowjobs in space.

If your dad gives
a fuck about my hair.

Hey? Zoe?

And here is Zoe and Greg.

They've been together
a year, married a year.

Babe.

Just because you scored
33 points last night

doesn't mean
I'm getting back
in that bed with you.

You know it's really
not that impressive.

I put a ball in a hoop.

I play a sport invented
for children.

Hey, I have to go to work.

And you have to
ice your balls

or whatever
you do all day.

Yeah, why do you
work again?

I'm a professional
athlete.

Technically
I could support both of us

and like 20 other people.

Well, because this isn't
the 1800s, okay?

I contribute to society.

I'm my own person
with your last name.

Which you..
What are you..
Just give that to me.

Are you okay?

You're doing that thing

where you give me
your stuff to do

and don't actually
let me do it.

I'm sorry.
It's just work.

When humans are
under stress, the brain
releases cortisol

a chemical involved
in the response.flight

But female brains
can reduce the secretion
of cortisol

by organizing things

and getting obsessed
with details

which allow her
to feel in control.

Now, a couple
thousand years ago

this behavior was useful

but today it probably
just seems like

we're solving problems
that don't exist.

Why don't you quit
already?

You could retire,
be a basketball wife.

- Oh.
- You could start
a jewelry line.

Be on VH1.

Oh, yeah, or I could not
set women back 60 years

and could work hard
for another year or so.

Start my own company,
and like..

...maybe I could even
give you a job.

'Cause like how much longer
can you do this, you know.

Will you please
just let me write you
a check for that?

I'm not taking your money.
You know that. Okay?

I'm not going to be
a stereotype.

No one thinks
you're a gold digger.

Gold diggers
don't wake up at 6 a.m.

or carry briefcases.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

Oh! Hey, Dave!
Come on in!

Don't get up, man!
I need you to rest!

I'm sorry.
I thought I was..

I thought I was
unlocking the door.

I've got 50 bucks on you
scoring 20 points tonight!
My man.

- You -- you bet on me?
- Oh, absolutely.

You think I can pay
my bills with this
shitty job?

Window -- windows
look good, man, you..

So clean!

Birds hit 'em
all the time.

They think it, they think
it's just air.

That's how good you are..
He can't hear me.
That's stupid.

Julia, did you know
we've been going
since 7 a.m.

and it's now 3 p.m.?

No. No.

Do you need a coffee
or something?

No, thanks.

Okay, so in this test

the females
were much better

at identifying fear
and sadness

on people's faces,
like, much more.

Yes, and males were better
at identifying anger.

We know that.
Got it.

Noted. Smoothie?

- This disparity is crazy.
- Berry Blast?

You know, I think
we should administer
the test again.

Next week.
Just to make sure
that this is alright.

'Cause something's wrong.

- I'll schedule it now.
- No, please.

Please, can we take a break?
Please?

I can't understand
how you're not hungry

because I'm..
I physically can't see.

What do you mean?
I've already had
breakfast and lunch.

That weird grey drink
is food?

Oh, yeah. That's Soylent.
It's, um..

It's basically
a complete meal
replacement.

That way I don't have
to go to
the grocery store

and buy food and put it
in a bag and unwrap it
and chew it.

I mean, who has time
for that?

Everyone has time
for that.

- That can't be healthy.
- Huh?

- Mmh? What?
- It's got every vitamin
and mineral you need.

Okay. How about
we take a walk?

Get a little vitamin D,
you know?

Julia, not all of us
are robots!

Hey, don't manipulate me
with children.

You're a girl,
you should be better

at identifying sadness
on people's faces,

according to your study.

- Fine. Fifteen minutes.
- Yeah!

I heard "Fine,"
that's what I heard!

Come on! You're no fun.
Just tell me.

So what's your deal anyway?
Are you dating someone?

- Abby, that's not work talk.
- Okay.

In one of your studies
you concluded

that females
are more productive
when they bond

because it reduces cortisol.

I don't date,
I refuse to be

a puppet
of my neurochemicals.

So you've never been
in love?

You know, our brains
are designed to trick us

into that kind of thing
and I'm not falling for it.

- So, do you --
- Of course.

Were you gonna say
masturbate?

No, I was gonna say
get sad

but maybe for you
those go hand in hand.

Yeah, I get everything
I need.

I get oxytocin
from my dog.

I get serotonin
from hanging out
with my friends.

I get endorphins
from the gym.

Productivity
and cooperation
makes dopamine

and I get that from work,
so I have everything
I need.

I am a complete
emotional equilibrium.

Whoa! That's like
a total life hack.

Mm-hm.

Knowing your brain's
primordial neurology

is very liberating.

It -- it makes life
so much easier.

I don't have to sit around

and worry about
if a guy likes me

and wonder
what his motives are

and -- and get
all insecure.

And -- and, like, reread
a text fifty times.

- It's the worst.
- It's insane.

- Yeah.
- So, I know how
the brain works.

So this whole
being a girl thing..

I beat it.

Okay, good talk.

You know the sun
causes cancer.

It's not normal.

Alright, people.

So, the campaign
is unlimited data.

And we all know
that nobody likes
unlimited data more..

Than the ladies.

- That is correct.
- Sorry.

Wh -- why are we saying
"The ladies?"

Zoe, come on, every girl
I know texts me

like ten times more
than I text her.

It's like,
and it's not,
and it's not just

like, girls I'm dating,
it's like my mom.

Does -- does it,
does it have
to be gender specific?

Yeah. That's what
the client asked for.

Like, they said
focus on women.

Great. Cool. Okay. Yeah.

Alright, I'll pitch first.

Get ready
to write this down.
It's gonna be hot.

How about, girl
looking down at her phone

texting and it says, um

"For every text
he sends you

send him 40 in return?"

- Unlimited data.
- That's good.

Good, right?
Alright, good.
Write it down.

Don't worry, be texty.

That's...hilarious.

I didn't say
write it down.

What if, um, what if
we did some..

What if tried to focus
more on connection?

Mmm.

Well, you know,
because with this plan

you can talk longer.
You can FaceTime longer.

You -- you can
send more pictures.

Um..

It's not
write-it-down level

but like, uh,
I know you've got more.

Yeah.

In prehistoric times,
females were
much more vulnerable.

And the ones with strong
social connections

had a higher
survival rate.

Whereas, for males,
survival depended on

aggression
and competition.

This could explain
why in meetings

women tend to
avoid conflict

and seek consensus.

Uh...no.

- Are you sure?
- No, I think..

I think I was just, uh..
I took it..

I was going
in a different direction.

I wasn't ready.
I think.

I wasn't ready.

- You know, nothing works
in this house.
- What?

Are you even on Facebook
in the first place?

What if there are perverts
on here?

They could make a house
out of garbage.

Mom, four percent of men
are sociopaths

so I'm sure there are
some perverts on there

but it's not exclusively
for perverts.

Why are we talking
about perverts?

Can you please
just delete those photos?

Okay. But I don't know
which ones to delete.

You've got a ton
of photos on here.

This is a jackpot
for perverts.

Okay, mom, will you please
just delete the album
that says "Wedding?"

What about
the honeymoon album?

You wanna keep that one.

Mom, any photos of Eric.

Any photos with his face
in them.

Please just delete it.

He was so nice.

And what a handsome couple
you were.

I just don't understand
what happened.

What happened
was he left me.

It's very simple.

Bill, why aren't you using
a stud finder?

Why isn't he using
a stud finder?

Because Eric took
the stud finder.

Bill, you are ruining
her drywall.

- Bill, it looks
ridiculous like that.
- Ridiculous?

That looks ridiculous, huh?
I'll tell you.

How about I take it
and I throw it
through that window

out onto the front lawn?
Is that less ridiculous?

Great. Now she's doing
the singing thing.

- You know she doesn't
like us to argue.
- No, no, it's fine.

Children who were exposed
to maternal stress

in utero become addicted
to stress chemicals
in the womb.

Later in life,
these offspring grow up

to be more anxious
and easily adrenalized.

The scientific term
for this
is epigenetic imprinting.

But it's commonly
referred to as

turning into your mother.

If I have learned
anything in this life

it's that I can't stop
you two from fighting.

So you can just
continue on

and I will soothe

my sympathetic
nervous system
with my "Lala Song."

♪ La la la-la la ♪

See? You see, Bill,
what you did?

See? See, Bill.

Say something.

- I love you. Okay?
- Oh.

I love you.
Oh, that's it.
Turn around.

That's not rude at all.
Turn around

I like to tell the back
of your head..

He was such a nice boy.

- No he wasn't, mom!
- Hello.

Basker brings it
up court.

He's looking
for an outlet.

He's yo-yoing up
and down mid-court.

Bounced past the room,
back to Basker.

He takes it to the..
Oh! He went down hard!

Oh, this does not
look good.

He is not getting up.

You can see the look
of concern
on Coach Miles' face.

Major setback
for the team.

It's only three months.

Mona will help you
get up the stairs.

- It's..
- Oh, thanks, Mona.

You hungry?
You want some breakfast?

No? A bagel?

We got a comical amount
of bagels. Okay.

Why doesn't
she talk to me?

I don't think
she knows you.

Do you ever feel weird
having all these people
in our house?

Yeah, but we both work

so who's gonna do
all this stuff?

That's true.
We need a wife.

- Oh! I agree.
- Who is this guy?

That's Jimmy, he usually
comes on Mondays.

You're at practice.

The area
that's responsible
for defending your turf

is larger in
the male brain

and it contains
special circuits

to detect territorial
challenges
by other males.

When challenged,
males produce
more testosterone

and adrenaline,
which immediately makes
men more confident.

Oh, hey, man.

- What's up?
- Hey, Greg.

- Okay.
- I'm Jimmy.

Hey, yup.

- I deliver
your groceries, um..
- Okay.

- Ah. Yeah.
- Ah!

- I'm a hugger. Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I'm Canadian.
- Okay.

Somebody delivers
our groceries?

Honey, you eat
like four chickens a day.

Oh, Zoe..

...I just picked
some fresh tomatoes
for you from my garden.

They're super ripe,
so be careful.

Oh, Jimmy.
You're my hero.

Okay, I don't need
all these people
in my house

doing what I'm
perfectly capable
of doing myself.

Well, since you're
gonna be around here
the next couple of months

why don't you oversee
the redo of the bathroom?

Or how about I redo
the bathroom myself

so there's not all these
strange men in my house?

You're gonna build
a bathroom?

Yeah, just give me
the tiles

and the other items
I will need.

Building a bathroom
takes skill.

You know, you have to
like, measure tiles.
You --

Zoe,
I'm a physical marvel.

My hand-eye coordination
is in the .01 percentile.

- Okay.
- Try me.

Throw something at me.
Anything.

Oh!

Okay, so I wasn't ready
for that

because no one's ever
thrown jelly --

Right, so I beat
a physical marvel?

This is great.
Well now I can start my day.

- Oh, good.
- This is good.

'Cause I have that meeting
with that

venture capitalist
at 10:00. Remember?

- Alright. Bye.
I love you.
- Alright.

Yeah. I just gotta
carb-up over here.

I've got a bathroom
to refurb.

- Can I tell you
something?
- Yeah, sure.

With all due respect?
And I mean..

- I couldn't
help but hear.
- Yeah?

I think you're
a physical marvel.

- Dude. Thank you!
- You're welcome.

I was tryin'.. I try..
Sometimes she doesn't..

I don't think
she respects what I do.

- She doesn't get you.
- No. She was..
She didn't play.

She didn't appreciate sports.
She was a mathlete.

I -- I would like to say
that maybe she doesn't
appreciate you.

Yeah. What..

- Ah, you see!
And she throws jelly.
- Yeah!

Jelly's not really
something you catch.

- Jelly's something
you eat. Yeah.
- Right.

- Of course I'm ready.
Yeah. Here we go.

Those were two peppers
in a bag!

That was like catching
nunchucks.

Okay.
There we go.

Ooh, shit.
Still got it.

So this is what
it's come too, huh?

For us to hang,
I've gotta come meet you

at a children's playground
at a school?

This can't be legal,
man.

Look, I've got a family.

If you wanna hang out
with me, you've got
three options.

Work, school,
or on the side of my house

by the garbage cans.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah, sure.

What do you think
about my hair?

Uh, I think less than
nothin' about your hair.

Lexi wants me to
straighten it.

Mm.

Yeah. I mean,
that's an obvious no, right?

If my wife wanted me
to straighten my hair

I would do it
without question.

I'd just go through
the rest of my life

looking like
Katt Williams.

- Pimpin'.
- I don't know, man.

I feel like I gotta draw
the line somewhere,
you know?

This is a slippery slope.

That's not how this works.

She will never stop
bringing it up.

See, look, women,
they can't beat us
physically, right?

Right.

So, the way to control us

is by beatin' us
emotionally.

Wearing down
our self-esteem.

Like little kidney shots
to the soul.

You ain't even
doing this right.

- What do you mean?
- Ah!

Well, look, I..
I'm fine with my hair.

I don't think
about my hair.

I don't care.
I'm a guy.

She wants me to straighten
my hair? Who does that?

You're spittin'
in the wind, man.

My wife buys
my clothes in bulk

tells me where to be
and what to pick-up.

I'm basically
a driver for Postmates.

- But do you like it?
- Do I like it?

I don't even know
what that means anymore.

It's like asking
a zombie if he likes
the taste of brains.

It's irrelevant.

It sounds like,
you're like

becoming a zombie.

- You wanna go
one more round?
- Yeah.

Hi, Abigail.

Oh, I could not..

I could not sleep
last night.

I was so tired,
I took an Ambien

which made me groggy
so this is espresso.

But, like,
I'm still feeling groggy

then I'll just like
take an Adderall.

No. Wait.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Where do you get
all these pills?

Oh, my brother
gave me the Ambien

and my gyno gave me
the Adderall.

No, no, okay,
so, first of all

your gyno's
only jurisdiction

are your nether regions.

So, fire her.

And second, you shouldn't
take your brother's Ambien

because Ambien metabolizes
differently in men
and women.

So you can't just
take the same dose.

That explains a lot..

When a female
overmedicates her brain

her neurochemicals
become imbalanced

resulting in fatigue

and suppression
of healthy emotion.

Because medications
affect hormone levels

they can also lead us
to smell pheromones
differently

which can even cause us

to select
the wrong mates.

It really does.

- Damn it.
- What?

I've done the
spatial awareness test
four times

and women are
still scoring

twenty percent
less than men
on spatial tests.

Okay, but the subjects
weren't primed

and you took
the time limit off.

There's gotta be
another bias.
I don't know.

What about time of day?
Right?

Because I cannot memorize
shapes at 8 a.m.
It's criminal.

That's interesting.

Okay.

Okay. Um..
Blood sugar.

Subjects probably have
lower blood sugar
in the morning

so we should administer
the test again
in the afternoon.

- Smart!
- Cool, cool, cool.
But, um..

It just sounds like
you don't like the results

you're getting.

Of course I don't.

The last thing people need
is more ammunition

for negative female
stereotypes.

They'll be like,
"Oh, Dr. Brizendine
found that women are worse

"at spatial tasks,
which is why women can't
drive or read maps.

And why they
shouldn't be CEOs
or be in government."

And I don't want to be
responsible for that.

Okay? So we'll..

We'll administer
the test again next week.

Oh, one more thing!

Can you stop drinking
all that coffee?

It's just made of
actual acid.

I take Zantac.

It's like not that
big of a deal.

Good morning.

So, a female
can instantly decode

the information encrypted
in a male's pheromones

which helps her determine
genetic compatibility.

This, coupled with
cultural values

and how her
childhood went

determines
what attracts us

to a potential mate.

The confluence
of all this

is what we
call chemistry

or love at first sight.

Hello. We're good.
Oh -- oh, okay!

Thank you. Morning.

Uh, I'm -- I'm
Dr. Brizendine.

I'll be administering
the test on you today.

I'm Kevin. I'm gonna be
taking the test today.

Although men have
earned the reputation

for being more
stoic than women

they actually
have stronger

emotional reactions
than females.

But due to
social conditioning

within 2.5 seconds

a man tends to change
his face

to hide or
suppress emotion.

You're just gonna be
in the module
for the couple of..

A couple of
the -- the minutes.

All the minutes.

- You comin' in?
- No.

- I'm kidding.
- Oh, I..

Me too. I know.

I mean, if I wasn't
and you did wanna come in

then, you know
I'd really appreciate it.

Mostly 'cause
I can't move my neck.

So you'd have to
do all the work.

So, uh, you're gonna be
seeing various images.

And then the MRI machine
is gonna do the rest.

So, uh, just look at them.

And I'll be over there if
you have any questions.

You won't have any..

- I mean, I don't
know why..
- Miss you already.

What?

Kevin Avery, 006.

Green light. Thank you.

Okay, that guy was
flirting with you.

And he is so cute.

He's a guy.
He can't help it.

He has to, you know,
sexualize everything.

You know,
to him I'm basically

a b -- blow-up doll.

Oh, my God!

That is what
you look like!

Oh, my God!
It's taken me months!

Thank you. Oh, my God.

- He seems sweet.
- Uh..

You're not gonna
be saying that

once you see
inside his...brain.

Aww.

Smushy.

So if he felt empathy

this entire area
would light up red.

Right there.
Look. Nothing.

But it's a kitten.

I know, he's not
feelin' the kitten.

But it's in a teacup.

He doesn't care.

Nope, nope!
It is lighting up!

- Nope, that's..
- Yeah, he's not
a serial killer.

That's on the low end,
even for a guy.

Next slide.

Nothing on the baby?
What a sicko!

Yeah, so in women,
this entire area
would light up red.

I can feel mine
lighting up inside.

What kind of weirdo
doesn't think that
baby is cute?

All of them.

Men are basically
only wired to respond

if it's their baby.

- Seriously?
- Mm-hm.

Now do you see
why I refuse

to participate in society?

Wow.

I'd really be depressed

if I wasn't on
anti-depressants.

You're on
anti-depressants?

Everyone's on
anti-depressants.

Are you
clinically depressed?

No! What?

- I can't.
- It's good.

It makes me less crazy.

That's interesting
because you sound insane.

Okay, there's no winning
with you, Julia.

Alright. Here we go.

- Ha-ha!
- Hm.

Kevin here
is on the lowest end

of the empathy scale.

That guy you thought
was so cute

and so sweet
turns out
he's the kind of guy

that goes to Africa
and pays people

to cut off...
elephant's...faces.

Science doesn't lie, so..

Hey, babe.

What?

Um...nothin'.

I was, um,
just asking how are you?

You haven't asked me
that in five years.

I remember 'cause
that was around the time

I started taking
fatherhood seriously.

I know.
That's so not cool.

That makes me wonder
do you think maybe

we just, like, stopped
tryin' a little bit?

- What do you mean?
- Well..

Well what?

You're wearing
crocs with socks.

- So are you.
- These are flats.

Mm, tsk!

I got some bad news
for you, baby.

Man...I feel like

maybe we just
stopped tryin'.

Maybe we need to connect
a little bit.

I stage houses for my job.

I make all things look
new and shiny.

Maybe that's what we need
in our relationship.

Sounds expensive.

Yeah, yeah,
maybe a little bit

but do you remember
how we used to dress up?

How we used to go out
on sexy dates?

So it's probably
not surprising

that females have a more

active system
for emotional memory

which means we recall
feelings, not just facts.

Something that's harder
for a man to do.

This is why it
seems like women

can access
visceral memories

with search engine
like speed.

We used to have sex
all over the house.

Baby, that was
before our walls

had all kinds of
finger paintings on 'em.

Kind of killed
the fuck vibe.

Yeah, but we used
to do things together

have things in common.

We used to have
hobbies together.

Baby, that was back
when we were friends.

Look, we still got
plenty of hobbies, alright?

We pay bills together.
Insurance.

We got water damage
in the basement together.

That's our water damage.

We've got meat, celery --

Can you be serious
for once in your life?

I'm just sayin'

what's the point
of bein' married?

Relationships take work.

I already work.

You want me
to work two jobs?

Yes, I've heard of couples
that become platonic.

Like, their relationships

their marriages
deteriorate.

- Deteriorate.
- Deteriorate.

Okay, deteriorate.

And then all of a sudden

you're gonna have
a secret family.

Look, if I'm not
working two jobs

why in the hell
would I be working three?

Hm?

Fine.
I'll go change my socks.

I'm coming back
for my meat.

- Konnichiwa!
- Jesus!

- Hey.
- Where did you come from?

Just got in from Tokyo.

Oh, no, I'm sorry, I -- I

I just didn't hear
you walk, roll in.

I'm so..
I'm Zoe...Basker.

Thank you, I'm so sorry
that I'm running late.

It's just been crazy,
crazy, crazy!

Where are my manners?
Have a seat.

Pop a bean,
right over here.

- We just started
makin' these guys.
- Oh, wow.

Stuffed the first
batch myself, actually.

- My goodness.
- This is the charcoal.

And we've got a
slate grey in the works.

- Oh, nice.
- And there it is!
Well done.

Oh. Okay. That's great.

Uh, congratulations
on all of your success.

Uh, maybe.

Greed is a disease.
You know?

So you're the girl with
the coconut water thing.

No, no. Um, my idea is
about marketing.

Act.. You know what?
I'll just go right into it.

Um, alright, you know how

commercials are
everywhere, right?

But they're, they're
usually really bad.

And they send
irresponsible messages

about race and gender.

- Kind of.
- Well..

So, I would have a
company that would make

responsible commercials
that won't screw up our kids.

Uh, I'm trying
so hard to understand
what you're saying

I'm just having a lot
of trouble attuning to you.

You have a very

it's like a m -- masculine

um, just,
just prohibitive energy.

Uh, s -- sorry.

Please, no.
It's nothing you can control.

Um, you know what,
act.. I -- I..

I forg.. I -- I,
I wrote out some sample
campaigns last..

Sorry, I'm so sorry.

The thing is, I just,
I had just realized

that your idea,
it's, it's triggering me.

You know, I just..

Remember I was in
such a good mood

before we
talked about it?

And now, I just,
I feel drained.

Oh, well, uh,
maybe you're just

jetlagged from Tokyo.

Oh, no.
I don't believe in jetlag.

It's a social construct.

Did anyone ever..

What?

Listen, hundred percent
keep in touch

if you have
any more ideas

that are just
a little more casual..

And it was so nice
to meet you.

What? Thank you. B -- bye!

♪ Ah ah ♪

♪ Pa pa pa pa ♪

♪ Pa pa pa ♪

♪ Pa pa ♪

So I was thinking about
this spatial task thing.

Do you think we could
get rid of the bias

if we let people
take it over again
if they want to?

Feeling like you only have
one shot at something
is a lot of pressure.

That's actually
a good idea.

Or the room
being too cold.

Because it's freezing
in there and I can't think

when I'm cold.

Uh, who is calling?

Who calls anyone?

Alright, this is Julia.

Hey, it's Kevin
from the MRI machine.

When an unexpected
event occurs

the amygdala
immediately evaluates

if a threat is present.

If so, the brain freezes

to brace for a fight
or flight response.

But in a
traumatized brain

the amygdala loses
the ability

to distinguish
between everyday events

and real danger.

So, if a woman's brain

has been emotionally
traumatized

it often may seem like

she's being dramatic.

I'm calling you.

How did you
get this number?

Hey!

Stop asking questions.

Just let me be
a cutie pie.

I only answered
because I thought

someone was in
the hospital, so..

Well, I'm sorry
to disappoint.

Look, there's no way
that's cool to say this

so, let me see you
tomorrow night.

I have to work.

- But it's a Saturday.
- I'm a stripper.

Oh, well, then
I'll see you anyway.

You know what, I..

I obviously can't date
someone in my study.

I'm a scientist,
and you're a -- a..

Tired of hearing
your boring excuses?

Look, text me
your address.

I'll pick you up at 7:00.

I'm hangin' up now.
I love you.

Can I borrow your purse
just for a second?

Please?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

I cannot believe
you gave him
my phone number.

No! He asked!
What the F?

What was I supposed to do?

That's my birth control!

Your generation
is a nightmare.

You know what,
I'd fire you

but there really
is no point

because everyone your age

is just as boundaryless
as you are.

Can you please help me
pick this stuff up?

Of course not!

And you do not need

all of these pills!

Okay, that one is
for my thyroid thing.

You don't have
a thyroid thing.

You're ten!

You don't know
what's going on in here.

You saw his brain scans.

He is a caveman.

He is literally
a Cro-Magnon.

That's perfect for you.

You can have
completely detached sex

with a big dumb animal.

Uh, as we both know,
sex releases endorphins.

- Here we go.
- Which reduces stress.

Which could help you
at work!

Which is clearly
all you care ab..

Oh, no.

Why didn't you say that
in the first place?

Okay, okay, you have
no respect! Julia!

Where is my office?

My lipstick!

...humidity, you'll find
it's gonna become

difficult to wipe
away quickly

but you're gonna wanna
still keep it soft enough

to wipe off the surface
of whatever tile you..

Yeah, I tried that,
you fucking self-assured
dickhead!

It doesn't work!

Oh, oh, no, yeah.

I should grow
a rat tail like you

to make tiles stick
to the fuckin' wall.

Oh, shit.

Shit!

- Hey, babe.
- Hey, babe! How are ya?

Sorry, I didn't hear
you come in.

I was just busy workin'.

I'm a busy bee over here.

Yeah. I see that.
How's it goin'?

Good, good, I was tryin'
out some caulks today.

And these caulks
are not the caulks
for us, so..

Isn't it supposed
to be grout?

No. No, it's not.
I think it's caulks.

Is that a poster board?

Yeah, just
a quick little..

Little test run
to make sure the ca..

The tiles and the caulks,
or grout to you

is -- is stayin' up.

Honey, I, I've,
I don't know how much

sense all of this makes.

Why don't you just
let me call a contractor?

- I got this.
- Oh, I know, I know.

But like, then you'd have

more time for
physical therapy, you know

and like, just,
the contractor's
just there to --

Okay, stop saying
contractor. What we need..

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What we need is for you

to trust your
incredibly competent
and strong husband.

- Yes, of course,
right, yeah.
- Okay?

Oh, I forgot.
How was, uh, your pitch?

- Oh! Uh, yeah.
- It was good?

Yeah, yeah.
Uh, yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah.

- You said, you just
said "Yeah" nine times.
- Uh, no, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, there was so -- so..

- Yeah. Bye.
- Okay, well..

Well.. I'm gonna..
I gotta go.

Okay.

Good, good.

Just like the video.
Cool. That's good.

You look nice.

Whoa!
Slow down, long legs.

Oh, well, I mean,
I'll just, I'll meet you
at the car.

You're, uh, drive is, uh..

- Don't do that.
- What?

Wha.. I know, I can,
I can open my own door.

Let me get the door.

You don't have to do
stuff like that for me.

Don't touch my car.

- Okay, this is
ridiculous.
- Okay, look..

Alright, cool.
You go on the date.

I'll stay here.
You come back.
Be back by 10:00.

Tell me how it went.
Have fun.

Fine.
You can open the door.

Milady.

Ah, jeez. It's stuck.

- What?
- Hold on, let's..

- What's happening?
- It's stuck.

- What?
- Hold on. I got it.

- I gotta, uh..
- What?

Can, you gotta pull
while I push.

Uh, am I, am I allowed
to touch your car?

- Yes, please.
- Can I touch the handle?

- Please, if you could.
- I can open the door?

- Yeah. This time.
- Okay.

Okay. What am I doing?
Okay!

- You're pulling,
I'm pushing.
- Okay.

That hit.. Alright.

Close it quietly.
There's a..

What, how did I..
It doesn't..

- It also doesn't close.
- It does.

You gotta pull it.

- Okay. It's stuck.
- Okay. Jeez.

- You got it. Okay.
- Okay.

Hey! I was
just gonna call..

Fuck you!

Oh, my God.

What's the matter?
I think it looks
really nice.

Adam?

- Adam?
- Look at me.

- It's okay.
- How's it look?
You like this look?

You know, i -- initially
I got a bit of a shock.

You're in shock?

- Yeah.
- I'm kind of used
to it now.

I look like Janet
from "Three's Company."

I know, you don't know,
you don't know

you don't see that show,
you don't get it
over there.

Hey, Adam, you don't look
like a woman.

How's it feel to be
dating a magician?

You wanna see
a magic trick?

Fuck you.

I'm sorry, okay?

I told you. I told you
this was a terrible idea.

Why would you want me
to look like this?

- You know what I think?
- Shave it?

If they'd just taken

a teeny-weeny
bit off the top..

...make a huge difference.

And we can do
that right now.

- It would be
totally fine.
- No, this is --

- Let's give it
a little snip.
- No!

No, no, no, no.

You're not cutting.
You're not cutting.

You're not straightening.
Nothing, okay?

Nothing!

Babe, I'm just
tryin' to help.

- Don't try to help.
- Okay.

Okay, 'cause when you try
and help, your boyfriend

comes home looking like
a fucking Astro Boy.

- So don't try and help.
- Okay.

Lexi, I'm gonna tell you
what's gonna happen.

- Okay? Are you listening?
- Yeah.

I'm gonna go upstairs.

I'm gonna take a shower,
I'm gonna wash

this fucking
Brazilian poison

out of my hair.

And I'm gonna get
my birth hair back.

The hair that God knew
matched my face.

Fuck!

Well..

Okay, this one
tastes like wine.

Mm. Okay.

This one tastes
like wine too, can we go?

No! We're stayin'.

I don't wanna
waste our Groupon.

Why can't we just go
drink vodka

in the garage,
like normal people?

'Cause this is sexy,
we're doing..

...sexy fun things
so that we're not

like an old
married couple.

So me driving us home
drunk is sexy to you?

Can you take this
seriously, please?

Fine.

Oh, you're never
gonna guess

what this one
tastes like.

- Like what?
- Old-ass grapes.

I'm just kidding.
It tastes like piss.

Okay. We're really..

We're really going
to a silent movie?

- For real?
- Shh!

What flavor diabetes
you want?

I don't.. I'm good.

Thank you.

She'll have eight
hot dogs, no bun.

A pack of Red Vines.

And, uh,
Fruity Things, please?

- No hot dogs.
- No hot dogs.

- I'm teasing.
- No, please.

You know, I can't wait
to do this
with my own kids?

I want eleven kids.

I'm.. I'm..

- That doesn't work on me.
- Oh, that's right.

You're not a girl.
I forgot.

Uh, so, uh, question?

Why, why are you
doing my study?

I mean, it's obviously
not for the money.

You better believe
it's for the money.

I -- I'm, I'm paying
for this

with cold hard cash.

Okay, oh!

I'm sorry.
That was disrespectful.

Seriously, why are you
even in my study?

I don't know, like,
if it only pays

like nothing?

Oh, my uncle,
he was the head

of the social science
department

in my college
and he said, you know,

"Regular people, they
never take the studies."

- So..
- That's true.

When I have the free time,
uh, yeah. I sign up.

I know. I'm the best.

Okay, I get it.

You're charming.
I get it.

I'll see you in there.

Oh, uh..
I'm sorry.

We're not,
we're not together.
Thank you.

Agnes, you're the most
beautiful woman

in the whole wide world.

Would you stop it, please?
I'm not gonna say..

Come on! Just try it!

- It's not
a scientific project.
- You're silly.

I can't do
an old timey movie voice.

Grow up!

Come on. Be a person.

- I love you.
- Why does yours
have emphysema?

Look at him!

Oh, man.

Let's run away together.

Oh, but I'm wearing
40 pounds of bloomers.

So I can hardly walk,
much less run.

- Why is your voice
deeper than mine?
- I don't know.

I don't know, I'm just..

That's how it was
back then.

Then we'll stay here
and have offspring.

Good luck raising them
since I'll die
in childbirth.

What did your MRI say?

I found a slight tear
in the meniscus.

But it feels good.

Well, you wouldn't
necessarily feel it.

So the healing isn't
ahead of schedule

but it is on schedule?

Correct.
You're on track.

Alright. Thanks.

Mm-hmm.. Sure.

Zoe! Where are you?

Hello?

Oh, my..

- Oh, no! No!
- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!
- No! Oh, God, no!

- Greg!
- What are you doing?

Don't look! Nothing!

Look, this not..
You should not be here.

- No! This is.. No!
- What are you doing?

- Get out!
- What are you even
jerking off to?

Excuse me.
Don't say that.

No, don't -- don't
look at that.
- Cheerleader?

A little on the nose,
don't you think?

That is the, like,
the first thing
that comes up.

That's not the first thing
that comes up.

- I would know.
- Wha..

- Are you bragging?
- How often do you
do this?

That's, uh, that's
none of your business.

It's literally
all of my business.

But let's do this.

Do.. What?
What are you doing?

- What do you..
- What are you..

- Don't you..
- You were saying,
"Let's do.."

- You're talking..
- Yeah, you..

You're talking to me
like a sportsman?

Don't you wanna
have sex?

- Don't. Oh, God, no!
- What?

Why not?
You're all ready to go.

You've got
your good dress on.

My dress?
This is a robe!

- We..
- Do you think
this is a dress?

A dress is a robe
with a little sash.

- It's the same thing.
- No, it's not. It's..

So you just want to
do this by yourself?

No! But I'm not doing..
Greg! Just get out!

Okay? No, I'll leave you
alone for your little
spank fest.

- Don't say that!
- Have.. No. No, no!
Have fun.

- Have fun.
- No, I'm not having fun.

I'm not..
I'll never have fun again!

- You looked like you were
having a great time.
- How about that?

Spank away!

Oh.
You're coming in, right?

- Sure.
- Okay.

W...were you robbed?

Y -- yeah, no.
I, I just moved in.

I haven't had time
to really unpack, so..

- Oh, God.
- Okay.

You want me to fix
that wire? I mean,
it'd take me two minutes.

No. It's fine.
It's, it's fine.

Do you want a drink, or..

- Sure.
- Okay.

What do you drink?
What do you want?

Uh, depends on what kind
of guy you want
in your house.

I mean, whiskey
if you want me to
break shit.

Or gin if you want me
to shadowbox

and tell you
I'm invincible.

Or, uh, rum

if you want a pirate
in your house.

Uh, okay.
Let's see.

We..

Hm. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

This is not ideal.

Well, I do not have
any of those things.

No alcohol, turns out

but I do have..
I've got,
I've got something.

I've got,
I've got a Sharpie.
I've got..

Oh, I..
Whiteout.

Oh! Hand sanitizer?

I'm being weird.
I'm nervous.
I'm being nervous.

Um, you know, we could
just try to do this sober.

- Wow!
- Yeah, I know. It's not..

I haven't unpacked
my good bras yet.
This is not..

I know. This is..
I have better bras
than this.

Did you find it
on the street?

No. It's like
a half bathing suit.

You can wear it
in the wa..
It's, uh, waterproof.

It doesn't matter.
Here.

U -- uh. Ah.

- This is a little
fast, no?
- It is.

But I feel like your brain
is producing testosterone

so you're probably
psyched to make
reckless decisions.

So..

Yeah. But, uh..

I mean, I -- I don't even
really, uh, know you

and, um, I mean,
you could drug me

and, and steal my kidney
and sell it.

It's happening a lot
in New Mexico.

And Old Mexico.

This is, uh..

The thing about, uh..

Uh.. Um..

I vote we don't

um...have sex.

- What?
- Because when people
have sex, it, uh..

It makes them crazy.
And I wanna see you again.

So, um.. I, uh..

Oh!

Yeah. That, um..

I, uh.. Sure.

Um..

Good job and
don't let it fall.

I'm gonna take off and,
um, you should watch porn
to get the..

But your router, uh..

That's been shot
in the face.

Uh, God bless.

Mmm-hmm.

- Mmm..
- Hmm.

Ah, no! Wait.

Wait.
Not on the comforter.

- It was on sale.
- So? I don't want to
ruin it.

- Move. Get up!
- And it's comforter.

What time do you think
they close Target?

She didn't even
wanna have sex.

She was wearing
her good dress

and she had
headphones on.

Like, who listens to porn?

Look, let me be honest
with you.

You're like
the hottest guy I know.

- Thanks, man.
- No, I mean it.

Honestly.
You're gorgeous.

Stunning.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

I mean, I've never
jerked off to you, but..

...I have jerked off
as you.

And it is good
to be king.

- You know what I mean?
- I'm telling you, man.

Her vibe is off
ever since I got hurt.

Yeah, well.

You're not just
Whistling Dixie on that,
my main emcee.

- No.
- The whole world's
vibe is off.

No one knows
what to be anymore!

Women want to be
MMA fighters

but they still want us to
hold the door open
for 'em.

They want to make the
restaurant reservations

but they want us to pay.

Bunch of goofballs.
All of them, right?

- Yeah.
- Pick a lane, you goof.

- Yeah.
- Say it.

- No.
- Let me
tell you somethin'.

Hey? Hey.

- Hey you.
- Yeah?

- It's fucked.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I got injured
a month ago

and we've had sex
like five times.

I show the slightest
weakness
and it's a turn-off.

Yeah, that's no bueno.

You gotta get
your power back, hombre.

- You know what
I'm saying?
- Yeah.

Show her you're the man.
That's all she wants.

With these gender roles

they've been at us
for 20,000 years.

Get into that
caveman stuff.

Pull her hair.
Choke her.

Are you..
You're choking Cheryl?

Well...no.

She just got a new neck,
so right now's not
the best time

but, uh..

- I'll tell you what.
- Yeah?

I have.

And a good time
was had by all.

I can't choke my wife.

I'm 250 pounds.

Some like
six hundred pounds.

My wife's 5'1"
and Chinese.

I wouldn't worry
about that.

You've just gotta find
a way to be the alpha.

Alright?

Where do I draw
the line though?

Unfortunately for you,
kemosabe,
there is no line.

Don't ask for permission.
Ask for forgiveness.

- You can use that
if you want.
- Yeah.

Be the caveman.
Me man, you woman.

Let's not do that
anymore.

Okay.

Got a bit of a problem.

- What's that?
- My trick knee's
locked up.

Daddy doesn't
have the key.

I got you.
I got.. I got..

Okay, I'm just gonna
slide out.

Good idea.
- Alright.

Hurry up!
Time's running out!

Yeah! Ah!

I'm gonna..
I'm gonna go
take a shower.

- Okay. I'll be here.
- Okay.

Hi.

Good morning.
Did you get in touch
with Kevin?

- Because he just called.
- Of course he did.

So?

Okay,
so, gossip activates

the brain region
involved in
social cognition.

The process by which
we learn to interact
with others.

So, gossiping is critical
for females to maintain

strong social bonds.

So our brains
are hardwired

to produce dopamine

which rewards females
for relationship building

and learning the norms
of society.

How was the hot
Neanderthal intercourse?

Well, it...was uneventful

because he refused to have
intercourse with me.

No sex.

Hoo! That's even kinkier
than I thought.

I -- I can't help
but be a little insulted

given his brain scans,
but..

Julia, that sucks.
I'm sorry.

No. It's okay.
I mean, I'm sure
he's married.

Or, you know,
playing some weird
twisted mind game on me.

Which means
he lacks empathy

which means our studies
are accurate.

It's good!

It's great in fact.
Super great.

Ah!

I got something from one
of the mail guys
at work.

Do I want to hear this?

It's the drug Molly.

Is that the one
that make you eat
people's faces off?

No. It's like
the new ecstasy.

Why don't we take it
after Ty goes to sleep?

I'm not sure.
Let me Google it.

Hold on.
Let me see.

How long is jail time
with drugs and kids

in the house?

Oh! It says it varies
from state to state.

- I'm in.
- Take it.

Babe, that zit looks
really bad.

Yeah. I know. I've gotta
make an appointment
to see a doctor

'cause I -- I,
it feels really deep
or something.

You know, a doctor
is just gonna squeeze
the puss out

which I could easily do.

Haven't you futzed
with my body enough?

I just think it'll help.

- Alright, fine.
- Yes! Sorry! I'm s..

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

I love you so much.

- I love you so much.
- Fix my eardrums
while you're at it.

Okay. Okay.

- Alright. Let's do it.
- Okay, yes! I'm doing it.

- Let's do it.
- Just a sec. Okay.

Oh, it's..

- Ow! Nails that long?
- Sorry.

- You're like a falcon, fuck.
- Just take a deep breath.

- Ow!
- Oh, my..

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God,
it's in my eye!

Oh, my God! Oh!

- Karma!
Why did you let me
do that!

Bam! Wait!
Come back! I want..

I want a picture of this.

No, no, no, no!
Don't wash it off yet!

Ow! Shit!

Ow.

- Take it.
- Why is it..

Why is it brown?

- I don't know. Take it.
- It don't smell
like nothing.

Okay, you ready?

One. Two. Three.

No, no, no.

You know pills make me
gag a little.

Oh.

Okay.
It's...it's down.

- Oh! Hey.
- Hey.

- Hey!
- You like my handiwork?

- Oh, yeah!
Yeah, yeah. I do.
- Hm?

- Do you?
- I do.
I'm very proud of you.

- Are you?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, well,
I am the man, and..
- Oh.

I can hammer
and destroy things, so.

Okay. Yeah?
Oh, yeah? Can you?

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, what's this?

- I don't know.
What is this?
- Oh.

- Hm?
- Hey? Oh.

- Where am I going?
- Where are you going?

- Uh-oh!
Where am I going?
- I don't know.

- Oh, no! Uh-oh!
I want to
find out though.

- I fell!
- Ooh!

- Oh, here I come.
- Oh, yeah.

- I'll save you.
- Oh, yeah!
Oh! Watch your knee!

- No, I'm good.
I'm good. I'm good.
- Are you okay?

Don't worry about that.
Just worry about this.

- Oh! Oh, no.
- Huh? Is that nice?

That's a big man, yeah.

Yeah, you like
when I'm the man

and you're the woman?

- Hm? You like..
- Yeah.

- You like that?
- Mm-hmm.

- Just, uh..
- Oh.

What the fuck!
What?

What is.. What?
What's wrong with you?

I'm being a man.
Just..

- Stop! Oh, my God! Jesus!
- Okay.

Why can I pull your hair

but not shove your face
in the toilet?

Because one is playful!

And one is
where our shit goes,
you fucking weirdo!

Okay. It's a fine line.
It's..

Between a toilet
and not a toilet?
Is it?

I was told to ask
for forgiveness,
not permission, so..

Excuse me? What..
Uh, what prison inmate
told you that?

Okay.
Can we just relax
and...resume with the sex?

No! No, we can't!
Because now I have to take
like seven showers!

Okay.

I'm.. I said I'm sorry.

No! You didn't!

Well, I'm sorry.

Do you feel anything?

I don't know. You?

I don't know.

Do you feel anything?

I don't know. You?

I don't know.

Should we turn some
music on?

There's no music on?

Well, why is my body
doing this?

Huh?

What are you doing?
Are you guys on drugs?

What?

Don't do drugs.

Don't do 'em.

Don't.

Hey, get focused.

So, deodorant for women.
Go.

Girls, stop sweating us.

That's not bad, but..

Actually, what's cool
about this deodorant

is that it doesn't
contain aluminum

which is
what's carcinogenic, so..

- He's sleeping.
- He's not really.

Oh, my God,
I had a nightmare

where someone was talking
about carcinogenics.

Oh, God, it was horrible.
You were there.

- You were there.
- Alright.

How about,
"Sweating him
is the pits?"

- Genius. That's so good.
- Write that down.

So, I know I said
women seek consensus

but if the amygdala
is activated,
her adrenaline

can give her
enough confidence
to override

the instinct
to be cooperative.

Because girls are always
sweating guys, right?

- Yeah.
-I'm sorry, ca..

Can, can we aspire
to be just

a little less cliche?

- What?
- Does.. Is..

Is nobody else bothered
by how sexist
these ideas are?

We're not sexist!
The people who..

- The..
- The people
who buy stuff are sexist.

- Yeah.
- Women!

'Cause women buy
eighty percent
of products in America.

Alright, well,
then women are...sexist.

Sorry, you might want to
go down to Whole Foods

with a clipboard
and get it sorted out.

The saddest part about
all of this is that

I think that you believe
the garbage that you say.

Yeah. No! I realize
this is my last day.

- Yes, I get that.
Yeah, yeah
- It's your last day.

- No, no! I know!
- No, no, let me say it.
Let me say it.

- It's your last day.
- It's my last day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm gonna..
I will empty out my office
in just a minute.

I just, I, honestly,
I would love to know

if -- if you
actually believe

people are that stupid.

I believe
it's your last day.

It is an honor to quit
this terrible company.

You comin'? I'm just..
That was so weird.

Uh, why? Okay.
That wa..

Please. Strike that
from all of this.

And I'm gonna continue
storming out. I just..

I have to collect
everything now.

I know this is awkward,
it may be awkward

for like another
minute or so

but I actually
feel better

than I've ever felt here.

Believe it or not.
So, this is..

Feels awkward,
but imagine if
I had to come back.

- Help her. Help her.
- No! I'm good!

Please don't touch
my things! I got it!

- That's my charger.
- Yeah! Okay.
Good. Great!

Take your charger.
Wonderful. Cool.

Um...okay!

Here we go!
Not weird for me!

I'm leaving.
And you know what?

Ooh! I'm gonna
take this deodorant

because I'm s -- sweating
his pits! Okay?

Cool!

Tell your husband
to get well, okay?

Thank you! I will!

You know,
underneath this paint

you've got some
really beautiful molding.

The bones of this place
are really stunning.

There's just a lot of
superficial damage.

So, what do I owe you?

Like, are you hourly,
or what?

Why are you pretending
this isn't a date?

Well.. Um..

Frankly, I'm pretty
overpriced

and I've got a lot of
shitty reviews on
Angie's List.

Okay.
So, what -- what
do you charge?

Well, I'm not finished

but it's 90 grand
now and..

- What? Okay.
- No. I'm joking.

Uh, you know,
you could pay me
in, uh, favors.

- Whoa!
- What?

- What are you doing?
- What is the problem?

Problem is, you know
maybe we should
kiss first.

Both the amygdala
and hippocampus

are necessary for fear
extinction to occur.

But if both regions
of the brain are abnormal

due to trauma,
that person may recoil

if something reminds
them of their past.

This is commonly
seen as overreacting

or being annoying.

The problem with that
is that I would
produce oxytocin

which is just
kind of a disaster, so..

With all due respect,
I think you're
overthinking it.

Well, I don't understand.
W -- what..

Why won't you have
sex with me?

'Cause I like you
for some reason.

You know, when I sleep
with a girl too quickly,
I just..

It just..

Don't you wanna aim
a bit higher?

No.

Okay. Alright. Well..

When you wanna be treated
like a human being,
give me a call.

In the meantime,
don't touch those wires.

That red one
will fucking kill you.

I've seen a lot,
but I gotta say
this is the first time

I've seen someone
pop a tumor.

What? What do you mean
a tumor?

We did a fast biopsy,
and at this point
I wouldn't

totally rule out
some growth

underneath your
cystic wall.

Possibly a basil cell.

Yeah, but that's.. Uh..

That's like..
That's like cancer, no?

Possibly.

Is it like cancer cancer?

I'm not saying that.

Do I have cancer?

Possibly.

I have to acknowledge
the chance
so you don't sue me.

But likely not.

Good thing
you caught it though.

Adam!

- Jesus.
- What is going on?

You can't just not
text me back.

- Is this the popper?
- Yeah.

Sorry.

Adam, what is happening?

Um..

I..

- You know the thing
on my back?
- Yeah?

The thing I was gonna go
see a specialist about

but you couldn't wait
'cause you just wanted

to pop it,
so you popped it?

Yeah, that might be
a, um, cancer tumor.

My God.

- I swear I was just --
- Just trying to help?

I know you may
find this crazy

but I actually
like myself.

I like my crazy,
curly hair!

I like my fingernails
that are jagged

and, and I like
that I bite them!

I like my dry skin

that I don't slough
or exfoliate!

And most of all
I like my approach
to, uh..

What are they called?
Oh! Tumors!

- Would you just stop!
Please?
- I'm sorry.

I just want you to go!
We're done!

- What are you doing?
- I -- I -- I just
want to be me.

And I don't want you to
keep trying to change me
like you have.

I can't do it anymore.

So you're breaking up
with me in a hospital?

Yeah. I'm breaking up
with you in a hospital.

I'm sure that
you could think
of better ways to do it

uh, to improve
our break up.

Maybe in a park
with a pond

and a couple of swans
swimming in the
background.

Or a beach
and a nice sunset
and a pina colada.

I'm sure that you could
think of several ways

to improve our break up

but it doesn't matter,
because we're done.

So would you please go?
There's somebody here
to try and help me.

To actually help me.
So, please..

Please go.

Okay.

Oh, Jesus. What, what
are you taking now?

Oh, I have
a killer migraine.

It's from
my birth control.

Okay. Well, why don't
you go off it?

Because then I would
have a baby

and that would probably
lead to more migraines.

Okay, well, how long
have you been on
birth control?

Ugh!

Since I was like 13
or something?

I'm so emotional
without it.

Everything makes me cry.

Okay, Abby,
you cannot just

manipulate
your personality

with chemicals
for your entire life.

Why? That's exactly
what you do.

Steven!

If you think
I'm embarrassed
about this, I'm not.

This didn't work,
did it?

I don't think
Molly is designed

for people over forty.

This whole thing.

I mean, we didn't
have sex on Molly.

It didn't
even occur to us.

Who doesn't
have sex on ecstasy?

It's "Occur."

And I think
we're probably putting

too much stress on this.

We have spent
time together.

We haven't spent
time together.

I've been nice to you.
I've been mean to you.

I give you space.
I don't give you space.

We have tried everything.
Nothing has worked.

Well..

I mean, there's always
couples therapy.

We don't need it.

I don't have
a problem with you.

I don't ever get mad
at you. I don't want..

I don't need you
to change anything.

I've already changed
everything

about myself for you.

Everything.

But...there is one thing

that we haven't
tried yet.

I never thought
I'd say this

but for once in my life

I don't want to have
a threesome.

I just don't want
someone else seeing

how awkward
it is between us.

No. It's not that.

There's something else
that we haven't tried.

It's gonna sound weird,
but..

What if we
called it quits?

Whoa!

Don't you feel like this
has just run its course?

I don't know.

I mean, I just
always expected it

to be like this,
you know?

You get married,
it get boring,
you stick it out.

Everybody told me
it'll be like this,
so I just..

- Just expected it.
- We don't have to be
a cliche.

Give me one reason,
one reason why we should
stay together.

One reason? The house!
Our cell phone plan.

I mean, we get
three phones
for the price of one.

I mean, and to cancel
would be a nightmare.

I mean, they keep you
on hold forever.

- We should
just stay together.
- I mean, yeah.

We're going to
stay together

because of our phone bill

because we're too lazy
to change it.

So are you...divorcing me?

Oh, you wanna stay
together?

- Hell no.
- There we go.

Twelve years is already
a success.

I mean, most of the people
don't even last

half of what we did.

- What?
- What about Ty?

Uh..

M -- maybe. It's not..
It -- it's maybe.

- Right? Maybe.
- Just a maybe.

- Like, that much.
- Like, possibly.

That much maybe.

That we're going to,
uh, separate.

- Separate.
- Yeah.

Okay, cool.
Whatever.

There's my baby girl!

- Ooh! Muah! Muah!
- Muah! Muah

Look at you!
You look so..

- What?
- Are you okay?

Why haven't you
been sleeping?

Oh, ah..
It's, um, allergies.
I've, uh, um..

Yeah, well..
But why are you so tall?

- What's going on?
- Oh!

- It's those
magic sneakers.
- Oh, right.

You wear them for an hour,
you can burn 300 calories.

- No. You don't, mom.
- No?

- I tried them.
They lost a lawsuit.
- Ah.

Um, where is dad?
The birthday boy.

You know, I had to
send him back
to change his suit.

He looked ridiculous.
You know your father.

I think he'd wear
a tracksuit all day
if I let him.

- Where's Adam?
- Uh..

Oh, um, yeah,
he's at.. Uh..

Uh, we've,
we -- we're having a..

Just a little,
a break at the moment.

Yeah, um..

But.. He..
Actually he got his
own place

so, it might be
a big break.

Oh, what did you do?

Why do you assume
I did something?

Okay. What did he do?

Well, I..

I think I just loved him
too much

and he couldn't handle it.

- What happened?
- Well, uh..

I was helping him and..

- What are you doing?
- Oh, no, I..

I -- I read this article

that you can work out
your buttocks

if you do this
for a minute, every time
you have a conversation.

Oh! Hi! Sandy.

- Hi!
- People are here.

Darling, don't you want
to change?

I am changed.
This is my outfit.

Well, perhaps you should,
like, put up your hair
or something.

- Mom, stop it.
- D -- darling, what
happened to your eyebrows?

- Mom. Stop it.
- No, really?

You're just hiding
your face.

I mean, you're a pretty
girl and you just

can't hide your face
with those..

- Shh. Please. Just stop.
- Look how beautiful
you look!

- How adorable --
- Ha-ha.. Just stop.

I'm just trying to help.

Ah!

- Uh, excuse me?
- Oh.

What are you doing, man?

Oh! The, uh, lady hired me
to fix this.

Uh, I'm sorry, man.
I'll be out of here
in like a minute.

Oh, I'm.. Well, she's not
authorized to do that.

I'm the man
and I'm in charge

of what goes on
in this house, so..

Okay, uh, good to know,
but I've got
a work order, so..

Well, I'm the lady's
husband and
it's canceled, so..

Okay, well,
I'm the contractor,
so I'm gonna finish it.

And just to let you know
whoever did this before

idiot, a dumb person.

- Only a dumb person
puts caulking on a wall.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A stupid person
that's an idiot, so..

I will smash your face
with that hammer.

- Just, uh..
- Just maybe.

You touch me
with that hammer,
I'm gonna sue your ass.

Oh, well,
I'll see you in court.

I'll be the one
with the most powerful
legal team in the country.

Mm, you know that's
the only team
that wants you. Right?

Oh, okay! Yeah.
A guy who works
with toilets. Cool.

- What'd you just say?
- You work with toilets.

- Say it again that I --
- You work with toile..

- You want to grapple now?
- Yeah, I wanna grapple!

- Let's go.
- Watch my knee.

- You're the worst punk
of all time.
- I will kick that knee.

- And I will..
- Watch my knee.

- Don't do that.
You let go of me.
- I'm gonna..

- You let go of me.
You let go.
- You let go! You let go!

- On three, let go.
- One.

- Two. Three.
- Three.

- Oh, you son of a bitch.
- I knew you wouldn't
let go.

- That's the..
- I knew it.

- Fight a guy with a --
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Hey, stop! Oh, my..
- Okay, are you okay?

Yeah, she's fine.
What the fuck, Zoe?

How could you do that
without asking me?

It was, it was supposed
to be a surprise!

- Well, you should have
let me finish it myself!
- Well, he..

- Yeah.
- What do you mean "Yeah?"
You can't..

Here's the, here's the
rest of it. I'm sorry.

We're all good, I am sorry
for the confusion.

- We're good.
- Alright.

- Bye! Bye-bye.
- Bye. Hey..

- Get a bigger shirt.
- Yeah, get a bigger body.

- It's a two XL.
- Stop!

- I'll listen to her.
Okay?
- Oh, that's clever.

A guy who spends 90%
of his time
in the bathroom.

Hey, stop!
What are you doing?

- What are you,
what are you doing?
- Are you insane?

- Why are you home?
It's noon.
- Because I quit my job!

- Wha.. How?
- Tha.. Uh, that..

I'm coming here to tell
you how, right now!

But I have to walk in
to this. Here. Look!

- I was..
- I quit my com..
I quit my job!

And I'm starting
my company!

I'm..

I'm starting my company.

And I want you
to be...my investor, okay?

But first
there's this contract.

Basically says
that I have to..

- Don't touch it.
Don't touch it, please!
- Okay.

I have to pay you back
every cent

within three years or else

or else you own
the whole thing.

And I set myself on fire.

- You know you don't
have to pay me back.
- No, I do, okay? I do.

I'm putting my pride aside

and I'm asking
for your help.

And that's really,
really hard for me.

So, I need you
to let me pay you back

which is really,
really hard for you.

Okay, well, how much
do you need?

I'm not sure yet.

Actually, I already raised

a lot of money online
by myself.

With your clothes on or..

You know, I was thinking,
you know.

Now that we have
this time off

maybe you could,
I don't know..

- Get me pregnant?
- Oh, really?

Yeah, because in a year,
like, I might be
a business mogul.

Like, I might have
a book deal.

I'm gonna -- I'm gonna
have surrogates
having kids for me.

Oh, okay, well, yeah,
I can, I can
get you pregnant.

Oh, you're a professional
athlete. I have no doubt.

- Oh, I'm gonna get
you pregnant so hard.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. Okay, no.
Not good for the knee.
- Oh, okay.

- My knee hurts.
- Oh, okay, fine,
I'll get on top.

- That's best for my knee.
- Because I do everything
around here.

- Oh, that's better.
That's so much better.
- Is this okay?

- Thank you.
- You -- you're good?

- Am I crushing you?
- Yeah, I'm good.
No, no, no.

- You're good.
- That's my
worst nightmare.

- You know that.
- No, it's just the,
the brace. It's not..

It's not..
I can still do this.
Don't think --

I feel like
I'm gonna break you.

You're not going
to break me. I'm 250..

I'm not a plumber!

- What?
- Oh, my God.

I'm a carpenter.
Like Jesus. Okay?

Someone who
you'll never meet.

What does that..

- Lindsay!
- Oh, hi, Lisa!

- Thank you for coming!
- Oh!

I've never been
to a divorce party before.

This is super fun!

So what happened?
He cheated?

Who would cheat on you?
What a monster.

- Is he gay?
- No. No. No.
Nothing like that.

Oh, hey,
you can tell me, okay?

Oh, I'm telling you,
we just realized

it run its course and
we wanted to have a party

because divorce
doesn't have to suck,
you know.

Right. So it was
an online affair?

- Yeah, sure.
- I knew it.

I'm really, really sorry.

- Oh, speak of the devil.
- Mm.

Hey, good to see you.

- Hey!
- Hey, baby.

Sorry, I'm late,
but you took the car.

Nobody believes me that
you didn't cheat on me.

I don't know how
to take it, as an insult
to you or to me.

What? Haters. That's all
they are, is haters.

What the hell
are you wearing?

This is my singles shirt.

Yeah, I know,
and I threw that thing out

like three years ago.

But I take out the trash

so now it's back
live in effect.

But you.. My God,
you looking good
in them heels.

Divorced a week
and you're already out
hitting them streets.

Yeah, but I haven't worn
high heels
like in ten years

and they're killing me.

Maybe we should
get back together?

Sorry. I've already got
my own debit card.

- Uh?
- And I'm about to ball.

Well, w -- why then,
why don't you go and ball

with Rebecca, right there,
she's there.

Why would I go
talk to her?

Please. You've always had
a crush on her.

Oh, no. No, I haven't!
Why would you think that?

Listen, we're not
together anymore,
you can be honest with me.

Okay, she is fine as hell.

Okay, go.
Go talk to her.

Okay. Now -- now
what do I do again?

- You just ask her
something about herself.
- Okay.

And don't do that,
that thing you do
with your..

Licking your teeth,
or something weird.

- You liked that.
- No, I didn't.

- You did.
- Shh!

Hey! Rebecca.
What's up, baby?

Boy, you look slammin'.

People don't say slammin'
no more, do they?

Well, it was nice
seeing you.

Oh, I -- I just got
a debit card

if you ever wanna
go out...shopping.

I could buy you
another flesh tone purse.

No?

I'm very bad at romance.

But I'm good at fuckin'.

Hi.

H.. Hi.

Uh, why are you
being a penis?

Uh..

You know, I've, uh,
I've just been busy. So..

You know, uh,
that's what I say

to girls when
I don't want to date them.

Okay, can we talk
about this later?

I say that too.

Um, Julia?

Why are you
fucking this up?

Okay.

So, what's happening is,
y -- you're pissed.
Totally get it.

You're having
something called
dopamine withdrawal.

It's when you have a lot
of dopamine flood --

You have no idea
what I'm having
'cause you don't know me.

Uh, um..

The thing is I actually
kind of do.

I saw..

- I saw your brain scans.
- Hmm.

And your behavior..

...it's almost 100 percent
antithetical to them.

So what's probably
happening is that you need

a conquest for
your testosterone

or your ego,
or something.

It's basically
like wanting
what you can't have.

It doesn't matter.

Uh, the point is
that I'm fine.

You don't have to pretend

that you want something
real with me.

- It's tot --
- Oh, I'm not pretending.

Oh, oh, oh.

If I may? It's just that
your neurology disagrees.

- Um..
- How's that?

So, you..

You did not have empathy
for a...a kitten. So..

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Yeah, well I'm not a
cat person 'cause they, uh

they're dicks.

- Oh.
- So that clears that up.

Alright. Well..

Fine.

Let's just blame this one
on me then, I..

I don't really do
the whole passion,
love thing.

I'm just not that kind
of girl, I guess.

Oh, you're totally
that kind of girl.

- Re -- really?
- Yeah.

You're also
a fucking liar.

- I'm sorry?
- Well,
'cause you were married.

So you're not
a workaholic.

You're just heartbroken.

Okay.

Okay. Fine.

Even more proof
that this is impossible.

So, thank you.
Thanks for coming.
Uh, bye.

What about, uh, brain

uh, plasticity,
elasticity?

- Plasticity?
- Plasticity, right.
I read about it online.

It says you can
change your brain, so..

What now?
- O -- okay, um..

Can we just..

Just drop it.

You know, for someone
who studies women

you sure seem
to hate being one.

Ah.. You need validation?
Or, I don't..

No, maybe you should take
one of your own tests
sometime.

I don't need to.
I've rewired my brain.

- Cool.
- So..

- Well done.
- Thank you.

Fuck!

Lex..

Holy shit.

Are you okay?

- Hi.
- You look..

Why do you look different?

Are you wearing..

- Are you wearing a wig?
- No.

This is what I look like.

No make-up.
No blow-drying.

No straightening
and then re-curling.

No tanning.

No false lashes.
Just a couple.

I couldn't
get them all off.

No nails. Nothing.

Um..

Were you evicted?

No, um, I..

I just wanted to show you
that I can stop

all of this stuff,
you know

and I can stop..

...trying to..

...change you
all the time, uh..

Adam, I know
it feels terrible.

Um, my mother,
you have met

a very lovely lady.

But she criticized me
my entire life

and, um..

Well, I guess that I..

I don't know, I guess..

I...I kind of caught it,
um..

And, um,
I honestly thought

that when you
love someone

that you were
s -- supposed to..

...try to improve them,
this..

The.. And change..
I don't know.

I thought
you change them.

- You change yourself --
- Why would you..

- Why would you do that?
- Look plea.. This..

I look hideous
right now --

- You do not look hideous.
- No, I am.

- Lex.
- I've just looked
at myself in the mirror.

And it's a shocker.
I know what I look like.

If you didn't put all that
shit in your hair
and on your face --

- I know.
- I've never noticed
you have freckles.

- They look..
They're so cute.
- It -- it's..

They're freckles and it's
sun damage as well, I..

Yeah. I did. I had some..
Did a bit of laser
and then it..

I didn't do the sunscreen
and they kind of came back

and I made it worse.

Um, anyway,
I always thought

that I had to
cover them up

to be perfect for..

To be perfect for you.

I hope that didn't
come from me.

I never want you
to feel that way.

You didn't. I don't know
why I thought that.

Look at you.
You look, you look like
the Wendy's girl.

- Who's Wendy?
- The Wendy's girl
with the pigtails.

- Red hair
and the freckles.
- Who's she?

The fast food joint.
The burger joint.

- Is she fat?
- Is she fat?

No, I'm not
calling you fat.

I'm saying you look cute
with your freckles.

You don't have Wendy's
in the UK?

No. We don't.

- You look incredible.
- Thank you.

You do. I'm speaking
for every guy out there.

Thank you.

So..

...here I am, and, um..

...my freckles
and my hair..

And I just wanted to say

that I'm so sorry.

And that if..

If you could
forgive me, then..

...I would really

really, really like to..

I'd really like to
try again with you.

Okay.

I'm willing to give
this another shot

on one condition.

- I wanna know
that you can handle --
- Yes.

Being demoted
to just my girlfriend.

- Just my girlfriend.
-Yes.

You're not my stylist.
Okay?

You're not
my nutritionist.

- You're not
my beautician.
- No.

You're not my doctor.

You're my girlfriend.
Can you handle that?

I accept my demotion.

I don't..

I don't wanna have to say
this, but when you

when you try
and change me..

...it does hurt.
It hurts my feelings.

I'm so, so sorry.

I'll be honest, if it
wasn't for your nitpicking

I probably would never
have gone
to the doctor, so..

Don't let this go
to your frizzy head

but thank you
for saving my life.

You're welcome.

There's no goop!

So, it turns out

I couldn't hack
my neurochemicals.

But I guess
the real question is

why did I want to
so badly?

Maybe I didn't need to
change my brain.

Maybe I just needed
to change

my interpretation of it.

After years of research

I found that the male
and female brain

is wired very differently.

Frankly, I was disappointed
by the results

because they didn't feel
like social progress.

So, I kept looking
for a bias.

I re-did the studies
over and over again

and I did find
a bias after all.

A very...problematic

and...subjective bias.

And that bias was me.

I went into all this
thinking that girls

being emotional, sensitive

hyper-vigilant
was a bad thing

because our society
makes us

feel so ashamed of it.

I viewed these qualities
as weaknesses.

But that was a flaw
in my approach.

And in many ways, my life.

The truth is that
these stereotypical

female qualities
are actually strengths.

Nurturing.

Passionate.

Tenacious.

Supportive and resilient.

These don't seem
that bad.

And even though
the female brain

can, at times,
be complicated
and confusing

nobody can deny
our ability

to get back up.

Every day our brains
tell us

there is a lot
to be afraid of.

But even though
we're hardwired

to avoid danger,
we're also wired
for courage.

So, when it comes
to fight or flight

flight is always easier.

But every now and then
you come across something

that's worth
fighting for.

- Hi.
- Oh, hey.

It's
Dr. Strangely Hates Love.

That was funny.

- Then laugh.
- I was about to.

I was literally
just about to do that

if you'd let me finish.

These lights
are really pretty.

I don't think this
is gonna work for me.

Uh, I read the papers
you posted online.

- It's bleak stuff.
- Okay.

That's fair. That's fair.
Um, however..

It's -- it's..
You're not wrong.

It's..
Science is bleak.

And I'm sorry about that.
Hi.

Uh, but I, I looked at
my brain scans

and it turns out
I'm a girl

which is
terribly inconvenient

but I'm gonna
work through it.

You can honestly tell me
this would ever work?

No. What? No.
I can't do that.

Yeah, you need to watch
more movies

'cause that's not what
the girl's supposed to say

to the guy when she's
trying to get him back.

It's just not the..

Okay, well, I'm not
gonna lie to you.

This is all a bunch
of chemical reactions

that are eventually gonna,
you know, peter out.

Here we go.

You're gonna think
other girls are pretty.

And you're gonna stop
being attracted to me
at some point.

And I'm gonna get jealous

and I'm probably
gonna act crazy.

And I'm gonna get
super paranoid

and I'm gonna wanna,
like, go through
your phone.

And I'm gonna act
really insane sometimes,
but I am ready.

You know, I'd never
intentionally do
any of that.

You're gonna break
my heart

but it will be worth it.

Well, look on the
bright side, you know,
maybe you'll get lucky

and break mine first.

I hope so.

I really hope so. Oh.

- You're not
supposed to say that.
- Oh.

♪ What would you
have me do? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ Tell me how to
fly away ♪

♪ I'll spread my wings
and go ♪

♪ Tell me to stay
I'll lay back down ♪

♪ Drift away
without a sound ♪

♪ I'll keep on baiting
your frame of view ♪

♪ Every day's a new shade
of you eh ♪

♪ What would you
have me do? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ What would you
have me do? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ What would you
have me do? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ When will you
understand? ♪

♪ It's not the same
anymore ♪

♪ You buried me deep
and dig me up ♪

♪ So we are diamonds
in the rough ♪

♪ Oh we can't be saved
this time it's true ♪

♪ Doing my best to
break through to you eh ♪

♪ What would you
have me do? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ What would you
have me do? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ Where would you
have me go? ♪

♪ I get so high
I could touch the sky ♪

♪ I get so high
I could kiss the sky ♪

♪ But you bring me
back down low ♪

♪ You're always
bringing me down ♪