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1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,272
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,874
Come and watch pikeys making a mess
3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,555
of the lives they were given by
'im upstairs...
4
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,598
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:15,795
Wicked!
6
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,199
Piss off!
7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,068
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,197
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,635
Cos this, people reckon -
me included -
10
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,188
is why pubs and drugs
11
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,872
were kindly invented...
12
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,474
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
13
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,270
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
14
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:44,515
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes...
15
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,079
You sit on our head,
16
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,833
but... you pay the taxes.
17
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,319
CHEERING
18
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,073
lmagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
19
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,391
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
20
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,959
Eh!
21
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,794
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:06,749
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
23
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,159
CHUCKLES
24
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,869
Scatter! Party!
25
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,875
CHOKES
26
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,518
(Frank) 'Still waiting for my moment.
27
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:27,071
'Not that 15 minutes bollocks,
you know, a real one.
28
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,836
'And when my hour doth cometh,
I am the man to filleth it.
29
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,275
'All I want is to show the bastards.
30
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,032
'You know, proper like.
31
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,395
'You know that Kipling twat?
He nailed it.'
32
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,391
Someone call an ambulance!
33
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,994
He needs Heimlich Manoeuvre.
34
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,277
Help him. Will someone give him
a hand, for fuck's sake?
35
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,591
'Lf all around lose their heads
and you're... Blah, blah.
36
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,673
'Look it up, I've set the scene.
If you're not in any personal danger,
37
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,797
'step in, mate. Save the day.
38
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,189
'What's more, you'll be a man,
my son.'
39
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,271
(Shane) Calm down. Just stay there.
40
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,032
Help him, for fuck's sake!
41
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,429
'Yeah...
42
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,158
'Massive.'
43
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,157
- I've only got these.
- Put 'em down.
44
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,189
Crawling all over my tits
fresh out of prison. Irish twat.
45
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,238
'Scuse me, could I trouble one of...
46
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,435
Fuck off, Frank.
47
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,398
More sensitive soul
could take offence, you know.
48
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,994
This is Paddy Smith.
49
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,435
Aye, aye. No need to brick it.
50
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,273
Shut your noise!
This is the man who was put away
51
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,316
for crushing bigger fish than us!
52
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,597
Runs a firm 20 times bigger than ours,
and I've infringed on his market
53
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,399
while he's been absent.
There's cause for apprehension.
54
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,118
Yeah, but he might let us keep it
55
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,269
if we give him a bung.
56
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,511
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
He won't be doing me any favours.
57
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,033
Why not?
58
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,439
Paddy Smith is Other Paddy.
59
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,754
Your mother's first boyfriend.
60
00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,799
She dumped him for me.
61
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:05,078
Jesus, Shane, and to think
I could've had a wank instead of you.
62
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,038
'I mean, what's wrong
with wanting to be a hero? '
63
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,712
- Come on, Dad.
- Stand back!
64
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,756
'Nowt.' Crash trolley!
65
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:19,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
66
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,394
COUGHS NOISILY
67
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,788
Ow!
68
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:41,035
You saved my life. You fucking hero!
69
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,158
Form is temporary.
Class is permanent.
70
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,277
I'm completely shit-faced.
71
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,990
Ah! Drinks all round!
72
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,914
I mean, what kind of
a mutant peanut is that?
73
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,036
It's a cashew.
74
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,756
That's not a pub nut.
75
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,353
Is this a wine bar?
76
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,352
Are we going
metro-fucking-sexual here?
77
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:15,152
- I was just trying something new.
- Oh, something new with a cashew!
78
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:20,394
Yeah, well, lucky it was your da',
or you'd be the one choking now.
79
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,155
Two in one night.
Chatsworth's Oscar Schindler.
80
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,676
We're brothers now, Frank.
There's a blood debt.
81
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,672
You're gonna find out
what Patrick Maguire's like
82
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,194
when he's sincerely grateful.
83
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,790
Can I have 14 more drinks, please?
84
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,791
LAUGHS
85
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,711
GLASS SMASHES
86
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,711
MUSIC: Brimful Of Asha by Cornershop
87
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,995
THEY SING ALONG DRUNKENLY
88
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,115
Everybody needs a bosom
for a pillow
89
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,349
Everybody needs...
90
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,713
What you doing?
91
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,678
Sorry.
92
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,512
I forgot we'd changed beds.
93
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,196
I wasn't gonna bum ya!
94
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,913
I know you weren't. It's all right.
95
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,956
I'm totally cool with the gay thing.
96
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,039
You what?
97
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,314
I'm cool.
98
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,153
That's cool.
I'm cool with you being cool.
99
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,595
Piss off.
100
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,432
(Carl) I'm telling you, he fancies you.
101
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,273
How've we gone from no-one
knowing or talking about it
102
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,793
to everyone having an opinion?
103
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:50,351
Opinions are like bumholes,
everyone's got one. They all stink.
104
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,796
He were asking after ya.
105
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,836
- Mr Scott?
- Yeah, why wouldn't he?
106
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,069
He lives with another teacher.
107
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,832
Not any more.
108
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,592
Above the greengrocer's
on Tuttle Street.
109
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,511
Virgil Kenyatta's dad owns it.
110
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,275
Scotty moved out a week ago
when his boyfriend chucked him.
111
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,477
And now he's asking after you.
Hmm. What could this mean?
112
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,874
He's just your type an' all.
113
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,518
A geography teacher?
114
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,874
(Debbie) Fit. Available.
115
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,190
Knows all about oxbow lakes.
116
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,716
Oh, a teacher? Didn't know
you went for older women, Ian?
117
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,030
It's a bloke.
118
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,395
Oh. Trying to turn you, is he?
119
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:30,317
Hiya, Carl.
You walking to school?
120
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,668
Er... yeah.
121
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,189
(Ian) Who's that?
122
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,556
Sarah Berry.
School dick magnet.
123
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,029
So what you doing tonight, then?
124
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,189
Come on Chesney. Hey!
125
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,714
Me mum wants you to do a few hours
in the shop.
126
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,119
- When?
- Now.
127
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,599
Can't one of youse do it?
128
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:51,669
She won't let us bunk off.
129
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,955
Looks like
we're only walking to the shop.
130
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,553
You walkin' us an' all?
131
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,789
Get off, Meena.
132
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,836
Don't mind me.
133
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,033
Got mice. Little bastards.
134
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,395
Are vegetarians allowed to say that?
135
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,393
Anything that leaves a trail of piss
behind it deserves to die, horribly.
136
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,038
Get stuffed.
137
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,635
Well, I didn't mean you! Touchy...
138
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,871
Says he didn't wet the bed.
He was putting out a fire.
139
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,473
Look at the state, Deb.
140
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,792
I'm living in a shit-heap
attached to a shit-hole.
141
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,838
Mooning over
her bloody highness up there.
142
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,957
What's she doing in my room?
143
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,155
She's after it.
144
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,593
Well, it is four times
the size of hers.
145
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,954
Bitch!
146
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,079
She's not having it.
She's only a squatter! Same as you.
147
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,071
Oh, well, thanks very much.
148
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:46,551
Well, you are. Look at the state
of this yard. It's full of crap.
149
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,392
If you're staying, it's your space.
150
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,119
So get off your arse
and do something about it.
151
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,713
Well, tell it like it is,
why don't you?
152
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,756
You're such a moaner!
153
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,798
Make a decision
and put some effort in.
154
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,194
Get that kettle on, Carl!
155
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,633
(Boy) Shit!
156
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,711
Got a throat like
Thursday's bhaji here.
157
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,870
There's more teabags under the sink.
158
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,952
Don't use the ones in the shop.
I don't drink counterfeit.
159
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,678
Carl?
160
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,432
Yeah?
161
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,754
- Phone the police.
- And say what?
162
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,114
Just phone the police!
163
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,235
He saved my life.
164
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,392
Next time, try and get saved
by someone who isn't
165
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,869
a human... fucking... compost... heap.
166
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,872
I'm proud to call that man friend.
167
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,471
THEY LAUGH
168
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,870
Might need some stock.
I'm hitting the old folk's home.
169
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,599
Got something on.
How many bags are left?
170
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,669
Five.
171
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,796
Isn't that enough?
172
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,873
Dunno. The oldies are mad for
their weed. What are you doing?
173
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,313
Got a meet. Who with?
174
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,632
Someone from yesteryear.
25 yesteryears to be precise.
175
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:10,709
Who?
176
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,475
Other Paddy.
177
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,870
- Other Paddy?
- Mmmm.
178
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,552
My Other Paddy?
179
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,995
(Yvonne) 'Are you gonna get stuck in? '
180
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,435
Lt'll take all of you
to batter that door down.
181
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,078
I don't know how he's in there.
182
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,913
- The little wanker!
- No need. Tom's had special training.
183
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,195
At the negotiation workshop,
they said, "Talk first
184
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,429
"and you won't have to act later."
185
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,511
Rubbish! Oi!
186
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,068
- You had your hair cut?
- Have I fuck!
187
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,592
Every day they find
a new way to rob us.
188
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,438
What are you lookin' at?
189
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,318
Sorry. Just when you're angry,
your eyes...
190
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,755
Sorry.
191
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,398
Don't be weird, Stan.
192
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,436
Tom here.
193
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:58,555
Want to tell me your name?
194
00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,629
Fuck off.
195
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,554
I'm from Ireland. I... I've got
six brothers and sisters and...
196
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,473
Ain't got time to bore him out.
197
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,152
(Tom) What're you doing?
198
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,559
Gas!
199
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,873
You're nicked.
200
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,633
You're costing me
more than the hoodie.
201
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,359
Sorry about that.
202
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,273
Tear gas, Lillian.
No-one can go in.
203
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,271
Oh, no, I like a good weep, me.
204
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,110
Search her when she leaves.
205
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,792
Why now?
206
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,110
He'll have heard the word
about you inside.
207
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,428
You've moved up a division.
208
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,875
No. I'm famine potatoes to him.
209
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,589
Could be getting nostalgic
for the things he's lost.
210
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,509
Doesn't matter if he is.
211
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,830
I know I plumped for the perfect Paddy.
212
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,876
The poorer Paddy.
213
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,350
Look at this palace.
Every dream - fulfilled.
214
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,319
He's dodgy. You need me with you.
215
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,709
I can wrap him round this.
You don't lose that.
216
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,438
Your man'll think I'm pussy-whipped.
217
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,999
- Oh, come on, Dad.
218
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,638
Meet him first.
219
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,790
Then I'll bump into you in the pub.
220
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,552
We're a team, you and me.
221
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,995
I'm getting off, too.
222
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,389
Picking up a car. Dad's bankrolled us.
223
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:16,473
New business, executive transport.
224
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,152
- Dad coughed up for that?
225
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,674
Lent.
226
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,229
You spanner.
227
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,073
Well, s'pose you can put me right, eh?
228
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,438
Tia Maria and coke.
229
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,671
And a pint for shitty drawers.
230
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,754
Couldn't stretch to
a couple of E's, could you?
231
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,877
Me fucking ribs...
232
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,953
You look nice, Mimi.
233
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,555
Assisting Paddy
with a bit of business.
234
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,470
Patrick Donal Maguire.
235
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,028
It's good to see you, kid.
236
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,111
- Long time...
- Aye, Paddy. How's yourself?
237
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,317
Fine. Sure, a five-year stretch
is bullshit.
238
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,790
At our age we could do ten years
without blinking. Am I right?
239
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,595
Don't shite yourself, I'm not
asking you to get sent down for me.
240
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,875
Come away! I'm ripe
for a wee bit of entertainment.
241
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,030
I'm guessing a drink
would sit nicely.
242
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,669
Ah, well, the bar's fully stocked.
But what I've really missed
243
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,955
is filthy women.
244
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,555
My balls are as heavy as
avo-fucking-cados, Patrick!
245
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,198
Huh?
246
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,396
I know that look.
247
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,391
Have you laid one on for me?
248
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,710
Have you? Huh?
249
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,952
Patrick? Patrick,
you have, haven't you, so?
250
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,632
Huh?
251
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,870
Come on away.
252
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,116
Two Guinness, son.
253
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,236
Oh, is this her?
She would do me.
254
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,878
She fucking wouldn't.
255
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,596
Ah, Jesus! It's not that?
A rhino in a joy-bag.
256
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:33,151
I don't want to get smothered by
some great arse, for Christ's sake.
257
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,352
Mimi?
258
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,313
I'm so sorry.
259
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,631
It just came out all twisted.
260
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,314
I've been away a long...
261
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:50,190
Mimi, I said I'm sorry.
262
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,753
Don't be like that!
263
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,152
That's a terrible mistake
I just made there, kid.
264
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,231
And I'm truly contrite. I am.
265
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:13,393
If I could take my words back, but...
266
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,552
it is a good time to remind you,
267
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,518
my people always know who I'm seeing.
268
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,874
You think of Mimi.
269
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,110
The kiddies.
270
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,079
You put your pride
in your pocket, big man.
271
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,711
Very bad trouble
is only a wee phone call away.
272
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,830
SOBS
273
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,458
That... is executive transport?
274
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:32,013
Two minutes in business and you've
already lost your one customer.
275
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,898
- Congratulations!
- What?
276
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:38,017
I wanted something
incon-fucking-spicuous.
277
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,297
Not a mobile poof's palace!
278
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:46,372
Fucking joke.
279
00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:51,494
I think it's cute,
if it's any consolation.
280
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:57,730
Jesus, Mickey. I was just trying
to be nice. You're so desperate.
281
00:15:57,820 --> 00:16:00,937
- I've got a date!
- Oh, I take it all back.
282
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:05,974
Sorry. I would've come in on it
with you, but Paddy's rates are...
283
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,528
You'll go tits-up
trying to pay him back.
284
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:12,898
He's not a charity. He's got a...
Where you off?
285
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:13,935
School.
286
00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:16,853
- What for?
- Checking out one of the teachers.
287
00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:19,249
Hot for cock. But who isn't?
288
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,611
Well, I was gonna offer you a lift,
but you can walk.
289
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,737
It's a bit pink for me anyway.
I'm not that out.
290
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,491
It's "fuss-chia"!
291
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,849
It was a judgement call and I may -
may - have erred in that judgement.
292
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:42,977
But you have to remember who he is,
the little piece of scum!
293
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,858
I wanted to saw his ugly fucking
head off! But I couldn't.
294
00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:58,888
I'm sorry.
295
00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,208
I've let you down.
296
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,576
- What did he want?
- Dunno yet.
297
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:07,938
We didn't get round to it.
I've got to meet him again later.
298
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,488
Gave you time off to come after me.
Very good of him.
299
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:12,536
What do you think
when you look at me?
300
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:13,769
What?
301
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:14,975
What do you see?
302
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:19,412
I see my fabulous wife.
303
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,899
The mother of my children.
304
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:24,211
The woman who I love and adore
more than the very world.
305
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,370
You don't notice
I've kept me baby weight?
306
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,849
I don't care about that.
307
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,932
Prove it. Fuck me. Fuck me now.
308
00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:34,534
Christ, Mi. You know,
this fucking hernia. I can't.
309
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:38,374
- You haven't slipped me one for months.
- Since I've had this.
310
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:40,530
It's printed in your eyes!
You've stopped fancying me!
311
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:43,054
- Never!
- You're the same as him!
312
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:44,892
Me and that twat!
313
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,459
Mimi!
314
00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:49,100
Every curve. Straight from the angels.
315
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:51,933
I know what you think. What you see!
316
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:56,252
I do not! Would never, ever
think of you as fat!
317
00:17:56,340 --> 00:17:58,979
What did you fucking say?
318
00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:02,336
I don't think of you as fat.
319
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:08,290
I can't believe you used
the fucking "F" word in my presence!
320
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,416
Bumble? Easy there!
321
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,331
Calm down!
322
00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:14,376
Why don't you kill me?
323
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,496
Lt'd be easier to take!
324
00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:21,535
You homeless bastard!
325
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,256
Oh, fuck! What's up?
326
00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:39,935
Nowt. I hope. So what d'you reckon, then?
327
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,897
Not exactly Alan Titwank, are you?
328
00:18:41,980 --> 00:18:45,017
Not used it for cutting wood before,
have I? Takes practice.
329
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:47,694
It's a saw, you toss.
What else is it for?
330
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:51,011
If I told you that, Norma,
I'd have to waste your arse.
331
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,489
I'm not scared of you.
I'm not scared of...
332
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,969
A mouse! A mouse, a mouse!
333
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,733
- A mouse! A mouse! A mouse!
- You bastard!
334
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:09,100
- Why've you got the best bed?
- I own it.
335
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:11,410
I'll have the bed I want.
336
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,377
What's wrong with one of the flats?
337
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:14,415
You wouldn't want your old man
338
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:18,015
hanging around in one of them
cruddy rat-holes, would you?
339
00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:20,209
I've got a date later.
340
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,336
Well, I won't try and join in.
341
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,492
I can't! Not with the old...
342
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:31,248
It won't be long.
Your ma's totally gone off her nut.
343
00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:33,296
It's a woman thing. Temporary.
344
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,854
She'll keep a couple of days, won't she?
345
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:38,134
Who?
346
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,812
The slut! Your date?
347
00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:48,419
Not that one!
348
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:57,812
A present!
349
00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,492
That'll spur her into sense.
350
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:02,174
A special one.
351
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:04,569
- Start the Twat-mobile, Twat-man.
- We need petrol.
352
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:06,059
Well, get some!
353
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:11,973
Oh, fucker! No, no, no,
you should be careful with it.
354
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:14,335
You know I am a veg. Stop it!
355
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,330
Me snake isn't.
356
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,217
You've got a snake?
357
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,699
Python.
358
00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:22,489
Oh. Oh, I used to have an iguana.
359
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:25,890
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
360
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,096
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
361
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:30,614
Forgive us?
362
00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:46,657
I've never been right about food
and all that shite.
363
00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:48,219
It doesn't matter to Dad.
364
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:52,088
It does.
Matters to everybody. Matters to me.
365
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:54,774
You could lose weight
if you really wanted to.
366
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,898
Weren't any fat people
came out of concentration camps.
367
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:01,175
No, they all looked like you.
368
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,535
- Fuck off.
- You fuck off.
369
00:21:08,260 --> 00:21:09,693
Sorry.
370
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:11,930
Yeah.
371
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,580
Sorry.
372
00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:17,220
- You think it's cos I've no willpower.
- I never said that.
373
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,690
Food, looks, weight.
Blight of my life.
374
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,216
If you're an alcoholic, you stop
drinking. You can't stop eating!
375
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,689
It's always fucked me up!
Always there!
376
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:29,533
And how many times have you
heard me mention it to you?
377
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,736
How many times have you heard me moan
378
00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:34,812
about my arse or my looks?
Never! You've never heard it!
379
00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:38,415
Because I was determined never to
pass all that shit onto my daughter!
380
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,731
And I haven't. That's willpower!
381
00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:48,571
I knew it'd drive my Paddy away one day.
382
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:50,616
It hasn't. You told him to go.
383
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,294
I don't need a man
who wants me outta habit.
384
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,371
I need a man who fucking wants me.
385
00:21:57,420 --> 00:21:58,773
He's stopped.
386
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,054
He can't...
387
00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:04,291
I'm starvin'. Is there any of
them double choccy chips left?
388
00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:09,135
All I've got left of my marriage
is little Leslie here.
389
00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:12,933
- S'not really serious, is it?
- (Gol)
390
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:14,419
All right.
391
00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,173
I'll help, Mum.
392
00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:22,048
You can lose weight.
393
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:27,339
I don't want to stop drinking or eating
394
00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:29,536
or do any exercise.
395
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,292
Do a diary.
396
00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:37,656
Write down everything you eat.
We'll see where we are.
397
00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:41,057
Starting the engine costs a tenner.
398
00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:43,096
I can't hire it out,
cos I've got me dad's
399
00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:46,855
massive pants drying on the heater
and his truss all over the back seat.
400
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:50,649
Polishing the fucker's the only thing
I can afford to do. Whoa.
401
00:22:50,740 --> 00:22:53,618
You knew it was gonna cost you.
Why'd you buy it?
402
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:57,773
Somewhere to bring lads back,
not that I can do that now.
403
00:22:57,860 --> 00:23:01,819
And a business.
I'm sick of being the family chimp.
404
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,332
I'm not gonna meet his first payment.
405
00:23:10,420 --> 00:23:12,217
Job going in the pub?
406
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:13,449
- No chance.
- There must be.
407
00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:17,613
I'm not having you feeling me up
every time there's a quiet patch.
408
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:20,214
- I wouldn't.
- No, Mickey. No.
409
00:23:25,580 --> 00:23:26,535
How was sir?
410
00:23:26,620 --> 00:23:28,258
Keen as.
411
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,251
You're joking?
412
00:23:30,340 --> 00:23:31,773
I'm seeing him tonight.
413
00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:36,169
It's a bit pink, in't it, mate?!
414
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:37,898
It's not pink!
415
00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:43,979
All right, mate, how's it hangin'?
416
00:23:44,060 --> 00:23:46,449
Not good. Not good.
417
00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:49,134
She's holding this one against me.
Really is.
418
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:51,256
And I don't know
how to live without her.
419
00:23:51,340 --> 00:23:53,774
Well, you could take my advice.
420
00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:56,772
Drink through it.
421
00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:59,738
You gettin' 'em in?
422
00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:02,050
Usual, Frank?
423
00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:04,290
Get us a chaser too.
424
00:24:04,380 --> 00:24:06,291
Good to see you.
425
00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:09,531
Cold Guinness, angel.
426
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:13,295
So, let's chat and sort this business.
427
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:25,213
You've splashed out on that,
haven't you? Good job you're minted.
428
00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:27,575
I am compared to someone
who's got fuck-all.
429
00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:33,216
Well, I know you're all right,
cos sure you've been dealing off
430
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:36,975
my best patches while
I've been rotting away inside.
431
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:40,257
Only an idiot could
lose money on them ones.
432
00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:43,457
And you're not an idiot, are you, Paddy?
433
00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:47,929
Are you an idiot?
434
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:53,651
I'm only joking you. If I wanted
to post some lead up your arse,
435
00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:56,174
you'd be snuggling your colon by now.
436
00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:03,737
What, fuck's sake! What?
437
00:25:03,820 --> 00:25:05,253
It's not still Mimi, is it?
438
00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:06,295
Sure, that's all sorted out!
439
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:12,371
Let's not fall out
over a few pounds, eh?
440
00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:17,419
Specially not the ones on your...
your old lady's arse.
441
00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:20,371
Fucking little fuck!
442
00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:24,419
Yeah, that's fucking smart, that.
Very fucking intelligent,
443
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,298
you small-time fuck.
444
00:25:27,380 --> 00:25:31,259
When you want to die? When!
Go home or when I don't go home?
445
00:25:31,340 --> 00:25:33,535
Your choice.
446
00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:36,408
Oh, this your diary?
447
00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:40,529
That's all right. Biscuits?
448
00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:45,619
We need a professional.
449
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:50,012
No. I've tried everything.
I'm beyond help.
450
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,692
Hypnosis.
451
00:25:51,780 --> 00:25:54,499
It's not working. It's not.
452
00:25:54,580 --> 00:25:57,174
Kept waking up with
marshmallows in me hair.
453
00:25:57,260 --> 00:26:00,650
Turned me into an unconscious
sleep-eater. Tried exercise.
454
00:26:00,740 --> 00:26:03,049
...ln time
455
00:26:03,140 --> 00:26:07,258
Only takes a moment to feel all right
456
00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:10,616
Get fresh at the weekend...
457
00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:13,168
Gave me a raging appetite.
I put weight on.
458
00:26:13,260 --> 00:26:17,936
Only time I lost weight was in prison.
Nothing else works.
459
00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:19,294
I can help.
460
00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:21,336
No, you can't.
461
00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:23,854
I'll never be thin.
462
00:26:23,940 --> 00:26:27,819
Never be... desirable again.
463
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:29,652
Got to face what I am.
464
00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:32,379
I'm a bulimic who can't stand vomit.
465
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:33,973
We can try.
466
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,449
No, Mandy, love.
467
00:26:36,540 --> 00:26:38,337
I am fat.
468
00:26:38,420 --> 00:26:40,888
I'm a fat fuck.
469
00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:44,529
I'm a fucking fat fucker.
470
00:26:47,140 --> 00:26:48,858
Where did these come from?
471
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,215
Mandy's mum give 'em us.
472
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:53,734
(Carl) You trying to show us up?
473
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,775
Me?
474
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,499
Bezz saw you at school.
Sniffing round Scotty.
475
00:26:57,580 --> 00:26:59,411
He didn't see that.
We were having a goss.
476
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:00,774
I know what you were doing.
477
00:27:00,860 --> 00:27:02,452
I thought you were
coo-ell with the gay thing?
478
00:27:02,540 --> 00:27:05,179
That's got nothing to do with this.
It's school, Ian. I get taught by him.
479
00:27:05,260 --> 00:27:09,697
He were all over us.
"Very good, Carl. Top of the class."
480
00:27:09,780 --> 00:27:11,418
I looked a right twat in front of Sarah.
481
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,298
- Well, you tipped me off.
- He's my teacher!
482
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,940
So what? I'll see who I like.
483
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:18,055
Debbie, love.
484
00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:20,176
Can I squeeze these
into your cupboard?
485
00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:23,252
There's absolutely no space
in that teensy room of ours.
486
00:27:23,340 --> 00:27:24,489
(Debbie) What?
487
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:30,013
Leslie? Leslie?
488
00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,534
Leslie? Come to Mummy.
489
00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:34,975
I can't find her anywhere.
490
00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:37,051
Leslie. A he.
491
00:27:37,140 --> 00:27:40,450
Well, a leg of lamb's
missing off the side as well.
492
00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:41,734
You didn't snaffle it, did you?
493
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:43,492
You cheeky bastard!
494
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:46,094
Leslie'll have had it.
495
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:48,011
He'll be back when he's hungry.
496
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,489
Don't throw me out. Don't!
497
00:27:50,580 --> 00:27:54,334
I've got something for you.
Come with me. Come on.
498
00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:55,853
Mimi!
499
00:28:02,780 --> 00:28:05,499
- Oh!
500
00:28:05,580 --> 00:28:08,140
Oh! Nice one, Norma.
501
00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:13,497
Out again.
502
00:28:16,420 --> 00:28:19,776
Here you are. Come on.
503
00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:21,293
Din-dins, Butch!
504
00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:26,773
He won't take it.
505
00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:30,216
- Maybes he's not hungry?
- He should be. Here, lift the bed up.
506
00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:34,730
Look at that.
507
00:28:34,820 --> 00:28:38,096
- It looks like he's...
- What?
508
00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:40,769
It's the dog.
509
00:28:40,860 --> 00:28:44,170
It's me mum's dog. He's had it...
510
00:28:44,260 --> 00:28:46,330
Oh...
511
00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:50,208
Oh, don't go off on one.
You don't know for sure.
512
00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:56,658
OK. Now you know for sure.
513
00:28:56,740 --> 00:28:59,095
I'm toast! I'm dead!
514
00:28:59,180 --> 00:29:02,331
I'm totally fucking dead!
515
00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:21,570
That's how much I love you.
516
00:29:21,660 --> 00:29:25,209
- What've you done?
- He's for you.
517
00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:28,531
What do you want me
to do with your gift?
518
00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:32,499
Are you losing your fucking mind
as well as your touch?
519
00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:35,174
It's not about him.
520
00:29:35,260 --> 00:29:37,376
It's about you and me. It's about me.
521
00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:42,174
I can't believe you'd do
something like that.
522
00:29:43,820 --> 00:29:45,731
What've you done, Paddy?
523
00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:01,936
Piss flaps!
524
00:30:02,020 --> 00:30:03,533
We are neck-high.
525
00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:05,099
We? Where's the "we" come from?
526
00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:07,410
It's nowt to do with me.
527
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:09,218
I did help with your fence.
528
00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:10,972
Howay then!
529
00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:12,573
Okey-dokey, Einstein.
530
00:30:12,660 --> 00:30:14,093
Plan?
531
00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:21,856
Get another dog.
Hope she doesn't notice.
532
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:24,738
I mean, she's had it no time.
They all look the same.
533
00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:28,608
- Do they?
- Aye. They all look like Mimi.
534
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:31,419
You should be more sympathetic.
She's got body issues.
535
00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:34,298
Oh, who hasn't?
She should get over herself.
536
00:30:34,380 --> 00:30:36,655
GIBBERS
537
00:30:36,740 --> 00:30:39,174
Pathetic. You're as bad as mum.
538
00:30:39,260 --> 00:30:41,649
I didn't mean that.
539
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:44,652
What's going on, baby-cakes?
540
00:30:44,740 --> 00:30:47,573
It's the money you owe Dad.
541
00:30:47,660 --> 00:30:49,252
I can't say.
542
00:30:49,340 --> 00:30:51,092
How much interest is he charging?
543
00:30:51,180 --> 00:30:52,932
Let go...
544
00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:54,169
I can't tell. Argh!
545
00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:57,011
The usual rate!
546
00:30:58,660 --> 00:31:00,139
I can't afford it.
547
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:04,856
He's gonna break me legs...
548
00:31:06,460 --> 00:31:07,893
...again.
549
00:31:13,420 --> 00:31:14,853
Two more 'ere, Karen.
550
00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:23,408
Oh, still got the girl trouble?
551
00:31:25,380 --> 00:31:26,893
I'm lost.
552
00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:31,977
Without her, I'm lost.
553
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:35,894
I've done something stupid
and there's no way out.
554
00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:38,619
Yeah, there's plenty more fish
in the sea, you know,
555
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,498
get straight back on the horse...
All that jon-bobbins.
556
00:31:41,580 --> 00:31:44,890
You know, Frank, I've been thinking.
557
00:31:44,980 --> 00:31:48,017
What's worse
than being owed something?
558
00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:52,371
- House fire? Cluster bomb?
- Owing someone.
559
00:31:52,460 --> 00:31:54,928
See, I owe you
560
00:31:55,020 --> 00:31:58,330
and it's beginning to gnaw at me.
Understand?
561
00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:01,259
Yeah.
562
00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:03,456
So I want to pay you in full.
563
00:32:03,540 --> 00:32:05,690
Discharge my debt. Back to quits.
564
00:32:05,780 --> 00:32:09,136
Would that be acceptable?
If I asked nicely?
565
00:32:11,060 --> 00:32:14,177
Uh... Yeah, s'pose so.
566
00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:16,694
Good.
567
00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:25,329
Two mind.
568
00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:26,853
Not one.
569
00:32:32,220 --> 00:32:34,495
Couldn't lend us a score, could you?
I'm down to bare bones...
570
00:32:34,580 --> 00:32:35,569
Shh!
571
00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:46,340
How're we gonna
dig our way outta this?
572
00:32:48,060 --> 00:32:50,016
Easy. Just...
573
00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:53,251
He can't let you go.
574
00:32:53,340 --> 00:32:57,128
And he can't kill me
or keep me here.
575
00:32:57,220 --> 00:33:01,418
No word of a lie, my people
do know where I've gone.
576
00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:07,768
I am truly sorry for what I said...
577
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:11,978
...but if I don't turn up soon,
then there's going to be some...
578
00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:14,813
sick violence.
579
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:16,094
Really sick.
580
00:33:18,620 --> 00:33:22,579
Let me go, kid.
581
00:33:23,820 --> 00:33:26,573
Do it now
and there'll be no comeback.
582
00:33:26,660 --> 00:33:30,209
No grudges, no hard feelings.
Nothing.
583
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,733
Guarantee?
584
00:33:31,820 --> 00:33:33,253
My word.
585
00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:36,935
That it?
586
00:33:39,780 --> 00:33:41,611
After what we had?!
587
00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:46,890
You know you can trust me.
588
00:33:49,580 --> 00:33:53,732
I've only ever had
the highest regard for you.
589
00:33:56,180 --> 00:33:59,809
You were a desert island fuck for me.
590
00:34:01,860 --> 00:34:05,011
You were nearly my Paddy.
591
00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:09,537
Could've been you sat in front of
the telly, scratching your balls
592
00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:11,895
and hating me for going to fat.
593
00:34:11,980 --> 00:34:14,448
It would not be like that.
594
00:34:16,380 --> 00:34:18,177
You'd love the inner me?
595
00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:19,978
Of course.
596
00:34:21,780 --> 00:34:24,055
Remember me?
597
00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:28,692
You know I am a man of honour.
598
00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:30,213
Don't you?
599
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:35,690
Hardly given you a moment's thought,
600
00:34:35,780 --> 00:34:37,816
but I do remember you.
601
00:34:39,820 --> 00:34:42,254
I remember why I dumped you an' all.
602
00:34:42,340 --> 00:34:44,296
You're a lying arsehole.
603
00:34:44,380 --> 00:34:47,611
Ah, Mimi,
604
00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:51,010
you're a fat stupid bitch,
so you are.
605
00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:54,251
That was your last chance to
save your limp-dicked Paddy.
606
00:34:54,340 --> 00:34:58,049
Won't be getting a hard-on with his
blood all over the fucking pavement!
607
00:34:58,140 --> 00:34:59,209
MUFFLED CRIES
608
00:35:03,060 --> 00:35:07,690
MUFFLED CRIES
609
00:35:07,780 --> 00:35:09,577
(Muffled) See you later.
610
00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:15,855
THUD!
611
00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:19,375
What're you doing?
612
00:35:23,100 --> 00:35:26,888
- Falling over.
- What time is it?
613
00:35:26,980 --> 00:35:30,416
Where've you been?
614
00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,616
You've seen him, haven't you?
615
00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:35,169
None of yours.
616
00:35:35,260 --> 00:35:38,616
I asked you not to. You've gone
and shagged him, haven't you?
617
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:39,928
You didn't ask me anything.
618
00:35:40,020 --> 00:35:42,170
You're a selfish wanker.
619
00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:43,978
Oh, cock off, pig tits.
620
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:45,937
- What're you talking about?
- (Both) Put that out!
621
00:35:46,020 --> 00:35:50,093
What've I told you?
No more fires!
622
00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:53,578
Carl?
623
00:35:56,860 --> 00:35:58,293
BARKING
624
00:35:58,380 --> 00:36:00,371
It's exactly the same.
625
00:36:00,460 --> 00:36:02,690
Apart from personality.
The vicious little twat.
626
00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:05,738
(Norma) Shall we leave it in
the yard for her to find?
627
00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:10,291
Yeah. Just got to put this on,
pierce its ear and we're done.
628
00:36:10,380 --> 00:36:11,495
Pierce its ear?
629
00:36:11,580 --> 00:36:13,013
Yeah! She put an earring in.
630
00:36:15,060 --> 00:36:17,290
Which is gay side?
631
00:36:17,380 --> 00:36:18,335
Gay side?
632
00:36:18,420 --> 00:36:21,014
Yeah, she won't want a gay dog,
will she?
633
00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:23,330
What's gayer than a fucking air dog?
634
00:36:24,860 --> 00:36:26,134
HE SCREAMS
635
00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:27,812
Perfect.
636
00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:31,972
...I like you too.
637
00:36:32,060 --> 00:36:34,893
- Do you want a brew?
- Stop nosing about, Debs.
638
00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:36,857
I'm not. I'm making one.
639
00:36:36,940 --> 00:36:38,134
I'm all right, ta.
640
00:36:38,220 --> 00:36:39,778
Mr Scott?
641
00:36:39,860 --> 00:36:42,215
You all right, sir?
642
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,894
Didn't know you two were a couple.
643
00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:46,254
What're you doing?
644
00:36:46,340 --> 00:36:47,739
You left this.
645
00:36:47,820 --> 00:36:48,855
It's not mine.
646
00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,453
Isn't it?
647
00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:52,371
Oh, no.
648
00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:53,734
Now it looks like I've come up with
649
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:55,651
an obviously transparent excuse
just to see you, doesn't it?
650
00:36:56,780 --> 00:36:58,771
I wouldn't leave your car out there.
651
00:36:58,860 --> 00:37:01,658
(Mr Scott) Half a mo'.
I've got your homework.
652
00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:06,933
That... was relatively inventive, Carl.
653
00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:10,171
And you should try copying Carl, Sarah.
654
00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:12,455
Instead of Dave Martin's
hopeless effort,
655
00:37:12,540 --> 00:37:15,691
which is the highway to a C minus.
656
00:37:15,780 --> 00:37:16,974
I'd better be going.
657
00:37:17,060 --> 00:37:18,778
- What now?
- Yeah.
658
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:21,853
- I'll call you.
- Whatever.
659
00:37:23,620 --> 00:37:25,611
Oh, piss!
660
00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:28,332
You got the right sex, didn't you?
661
00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:29,853
It was a dog, not a bitch?
662
00:37:33,220 --> 00:37:35,290
Leslie!
663
00:37:35,380 --> 00:37:36,859
Look what I found.
664
00:37:39,180 --> 00:37:41,899
Oh, hello, gorgeous.
665
00:37:41,980 --> 00:37:43,015
Where's his tattoo?
666
00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:49,659
Oh, for fuck's sake. How we
supposed to fucking know that?
667
00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:51,014
What was it?
668
00:37:53,060 --> 00:37:54,254
Who did it?
669
00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:55,489
Inky Bob.
670
00:37:55,580 --> 00:37:56,615
Inky Bob?
671
00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:58,338
You know, the one with the...
672
00:37:59,540 --> 00:38:02,737
Well, that explains it.
Doesn't use proper ink.
673
00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:04,412
Look at that.
674
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:05,728
There's nowt there.
675
00:38:05,820 --> 00:38:08,380
Exactly. Guess who did mine?
676
00:38:08,460 --> 00:38:10,815
Inky fucking Bob.
677
00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:15,894
That fucking... That fucking Inky Bob!
Please tell me you didn't go to see him!
678
00:38:15,980 --> 00:38:18,778
Totally faded. Fraud!
679
00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:22,531
(Mimi) Is everyone a bastard?
680
00:38:22,620 --> 00:38:24,372
DOOR SLAMS
681
00:38:24,460 --> 00:38:26,132
(Patrick) You're wasting your time.
682
00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:28,370
Bank won't give him
the steam off its piss.
683
00:38:28,460 --> 00:38:30,212
Never mind a three grand loan.
684
00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:31,813
Will if I'm with him.
685
00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:33,492
Making sure he gives his real name.
686
00:38:33,580 --> 00:38:36,856
Are we setting off?
Or can we kill the engine?
687
00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,532
Petrol and that...
688
00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:39,814
Are we going anywhere?
689
00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:43,529
I'm not helping you with mum
if you don't do this for Mickey.
690
00:38:46,820 --> 00:38:50,017
Turn the engine off. Come back here.
691
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,739
You really push it with
this heir apparent bollocks.
692
00:38:55,180 --> 00:38:58,092
DOOR HANDLE CLUNKS
693
00:38:58,180 --> 00:39:00,375
What sort of a fucking car?!
694
00:39:06,580 --> 00:39:10,289
Well, done, setting up the business,
son. I'm proud of you.
695
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:13,178
I'm cancelling the loan.
696
00:39:13,260 --> 00:39:14,454
It's a gift.
697
00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:20,093
Oh, Dad.
698
00:39:22,580 --> 00:39:27,290
I'll speak to her. It's all in her head.
We hate you being apart.
699
00:39:27,380 --> 00:39:28,608
Hate you being in here, too.
700
00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:32,293
But that's not the main reason.
701
00:39:35,420 --> 00:39:37,695
Is it Dad's fault you got bigger?
702
00:39:37,780 --> 00:39:38,849
Has he been cramming the pies in?
703
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:41,659
No. He's never even mentioned
your weight.
704
00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,890
You've chucked him out
cos some other bloke said it.
705
00:39:43,980 --> 00:39:47,097
All he wants is to be back with you.
I've seen him.
706
00:39:47,180 --> 00:39:48,659
He may as well have his arms off.
707
00:39:48,740 --> 00:39:50,890
He's better off without me.
708
00:39:50,980 --> 00:39:53,130
Oh, don't whine.
709
00:39:53,220 --> 00:39:58,453
I live with this every day.
This layer of lard has ruined my life.
710
00:39:58,540 --> 00:40:01,896
And now it's ruining Paddy's, too.
He's in a mess cos of me...
711
00:40:01,980 --> 00:40:04,289
and my weight.
712
00:40:04,380 --> 00:40:07,417
- I can fix it.
- Gonna have him back?
713
00:40:08,780 --> 00:40:10,896
I'm going to fix it.
714
00:40:19,020 --> 00:40:21,090
What're you doing?
715
00:40:21,180 --> 00:40:22,818
Looking for something.
716
00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:25,812
For Leslie to chew.
717
00:40:25,900 --> 00:40:27,777
I've things I need to do.
I might be going away.
718
00:40:27,860 --> 00:40:30,420
I've messed up,
but I've found a way out for your dad.
719
00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:34,049
For everybody for the best.
720
00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,415
Look after him. For me.
721
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,456
He was your dad's last present.
722
00:40:38,540 --> 00:40:41,054
Mum? Mum, where're you going?
723
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,630
Dad, Dad! You got to go find Mum.
724
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,995
- Why?
- She's just acting weird.
725
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,833
- The gun's gone missing.
- Which gun?
726
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:02,311
The one in t'wardrobe.
You don't think she's gonna?
727
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,078
She'd never do that.
728
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,158
Shit!
729
00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:10,992
It's not that bad.
730
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:15,119
He's just been chucked. He's gonna
get the piss ripped out of him.
731
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,794
You've been an arsehole, Ian.
It is that bad.
732
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,632
You told me someone fancied me.
733
00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:25,716
I followed it up. Hey, if I told you,
I don't know, Gaby Patterson fancied you,
734
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,279
you'd be straight round.
735
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,511
She's not a fucking teacher!
It's not cos you're gay, Ian,
736
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,955
it's cos it's weird. It'd be the same
if Debbie went out with him.
737
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,315
No. That'd be worse.
738
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,470
Debbie, I've just been in your room
739
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,949
and I couldn't help but noticing your bed.
740
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,998
You think you're getting my room?
Just try it.
741
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,469
Cos your first night will be your last!
742
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,199
I'll slit your throat!
You're never sleeping in my room!
743
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:53,229
Never! Cos it's my room!
And you can't have it!
744
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,914
I couldn't help noticing
your bed was broken.
745
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,719
So I had thought we could get you
a new one out the catalogue.
746
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:03,316
- I've already ordered you new curtains.
- So you don't want my room?
747
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,197
No.
748
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,751
Oh, OK, then, I'll have a new bed. Ta.
749
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,470
There is a way out of it.
750
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,630
And it solves all our problems.
751
00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:32,871
Fat bitch shoots you.
752
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,518
I hold me hands up.
753
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:39,230
A crime of passion.
You screwed me over years back
754
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,197
and I've never got over it.
755
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,999
Paddy isn't to blame,
756
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,230
he gets to move on,
757
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,517
without the hindrance of a wife
he no longer wants.
758
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,195
Not many wives would do that
for their husbands.
759
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,874
Always said I was one in a million,
didn't I?
760
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,871
Put that down!
761
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,872
Put... that... down!
762
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,036
You trying to get me off the hook, are you?
763
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:12,070
Shoot him and I'm an accessory.
We both go down. What's the plan now?
764
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,597
CRIES
765
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,716
How did this happen?
766
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,714
It's totally fucking obvious I love you.
767
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:29,191
- I don't want to be just friends.
- Neither do I.
768
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,748
You're not seeing me!
769
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:36,550
Look at me!
How could you fancy me?!
770
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,234
So you're carrying a bit of weight.
771
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,072
Fuck, bollocks to that.
772
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,594
I don't care!
773
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,553
I do fancy you.
774
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,513
Fuck this.
775
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,114
Look what he's done to us.
He's got to choke.
776
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:02,990
- No. They'll kill you. I'll do it.
- And what will I do without you, huh?
777
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:09,831
- You're my foundation.
- I'm doing it for you.
778
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,512
I'm doing it for you.
779
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,592
MUMBLES
780
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,069
- Don't let this madness ruin everything.
- I'm sorry.
781
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,197
Christ, Mi-mo, me too.
782
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,271
Come home.
783
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,120
That the gun from the wardrobe?
784
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,270
- Yeah.
- It's hot.
785
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,354
Pull the trigger
and we're all going home.
786
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:06,797
- You're framing me?
- Our protection.
787
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,314
We're in shite if we kill you
and shite if we don't.
788
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:19,875
Security guard had his ear
whacked off with that. Recent, too.
789
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,155
After you got out.
790
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:25,596
They'd be made up
to find your prints on it.
791
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,794
Should be good for ten with your record.
Not that you'd blink.
792
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,953
By the way,
what did you want to see me about?
793
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,273
I'm retiring.
794
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,635
Off to Cyprus.
795
00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:45,077
Wanted to sell you one of my patches
to go with the ones you've stole.
796
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,714
Think I'll ask somebody else.
797
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:57,908
All done.
798
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,355
And no-one got hurt.
799
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,673
Home.
800
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,595
I'm sorry.
801
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,910
That were totally fucking...
802
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,070
I'm sorry!
803
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:32,996
I didn't like being told what to do by you.
804
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,755
I'm a dickhead. Will that do?
805
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,512
Don't go overboard.
806
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,078
Am I forgiven?
807
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,229
You did tip me off about Gaby Patterson.
808
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,117
How funny!
809
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,158
What?
810
00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:49,593
You told me she fancied me.
811
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,159
No. I used her as an example.
812
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:53,753
No way!
813
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:56,835
She let me feel her tits.
814
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,388
- Nah!
- Straight off.
815
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,755
- So did Mr Scott.
- Did he?!
816
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,991
- Think she'll wank me off next week.
- Mr Scott would definitely wank me off.
817
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,636
You'd better get it out.
He's here now.
818
00:47:11,720 --> 00:47:13,438
Quick. Hide!
819
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:16,908
I thought you liked him.
820
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,357
What? Course not. He's a teacher!
And he's hairier than a gibbon.
821
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,431
(Carl) A gibbon!
822
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,637
The first time
823
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:38,589
Ever I saw your face
824
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,877
I thought the sun
825
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:46,715
Rose in my eyes.
826
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,830
Don't.
827
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,594
Just do me.
828
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,796
Properly.
829
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,276
Lead the way!
830
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,430
THEY LAUGH
831
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,035
(Frank) 'I'll tell you what's
really fucking heroic.
832
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,157
'Waking up in the morning,
putting one foot in front of the other,
833
00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:22,030
'looking at the wife and kids
and not topping yourself.'
834
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:25,954
Oh, my fucking hernia!
835
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,269
Yeah! You're the first person
I've had back here.
836
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:13,353
In fact, I've been a bit short recently.
I'm desperate for a shag.
837
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,192
Yeah?
838
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:22,718
Well, why don't we make
something of it, then?
839
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,354
Haven't you got homework to mark?
840
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,000
School day tomorrow, innit?
841
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,190
Long holidays to plan?
842
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,110
Go on, get it down you!
843
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:46,916
WHOOPING
844
00:49:47,305 --> 00:49:53,546
www.proanabolicstore.com
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