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1
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...some Dutch, some Indians
and some beads.
2
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:22,748
And those beads led to steamboats
and skyscrapers...
3
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,542
...Wall Street and electric lights...
4
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:29,421
...newspapers, Ellis Island, the Yankees...
5
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,674
...Central Park and the first World's Fair...
6
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:37,221
...Broadway, the Chrysler Building
and Studio 54.
7
00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:40,557
I like to think of that
as New York City B.C.:
8
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:41,892
Before Carrie.
9
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,687
Hi, guys.
10
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:50,109
I arrived on this island
at exactly 3:30 p.m...
11
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:54,404
...on Tuesday, June 11th, 1986.
12
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,496
Oh. Oh!
13
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,291
Cab! Cab, cab, cab! Taxi! Ca--!
14
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,671
It seems like only yesterday.
15
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,464
Taxi!
16
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,882
Thank you.
17
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,224
The very next year, I met Charlotte.
18
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:30,357
We were on a subway car at 2 a.m.
when a homeless man dropped his pants.
19
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:46,456
Miranda and I met in 1989
at Bloomingdale's.
20
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,667
I was working in the dress department.
21
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:52,045
She was crying in the changing room.
22
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,133
-Hey.
-Hey.
23
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,634
Hi. How are you?
24
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:03,473
I met Samantha when she was
bartending at CBGB's.
25
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,732
-Bite me!
-My place or yours?
26
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,236
-Hi.
-How are you?
27
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,572
Let's go.
28
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,948
Hi.
29
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,283
Ready?
30
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,868
Time is a funny thing.
31
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,705
A decade can flash by
in an uneventful second.
32
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:33,337
And then, in just two years,
monumental things can happen.
33
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,840
Things you couldn't imagine happening
in a million years.
34
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,218
Welcome to Bergdorf Goodman.
May I help you?
35
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,303
Yes, our friend is getting married.
36
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,223
-I never thought I'd see this day.
-You and me both.
37
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,724
Hell just froze over.
38
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,019
-What's the name?
-Oh, Blatch. It's Stanford Blatch.
39
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:52,481
Actually, I think they're registered
under both names.
40
00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:56,652
Her best gay friend
is marrying my best gay friend.
41
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,528
-That's wonderful.
-I know.
42
00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:00,822
-Let me get the registry.
-Thanks.
43
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,700
How did this even happen?
I thought they hated each other.
44
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:07,829
It's like musical chairs. The music stopped
and they were the last two left standing.
45
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:12,125
When you thought everyone you knew was
too old to get married, here come the gays.
46
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:27,140
And so, one weekend, we all gathered
at a charming inn in Connecticut...
47
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,518
...where the view was breathtaking...
48
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,853
...and the wedding was legal.
49
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,401
How's my tie?
50
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,699
-How's my tie?
-Wow.
51
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,618
You didn't tell me you were wearing that.
52
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,204
Well, I am the best man.
53
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,373
Oh, and you need a little help here.
54
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,669
So is a gay wedding shorter or longer
than a straight wedding?
55
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:58,547
-Why?
-Just wanna know what I'm in for.
56
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,425
Well, I think the marriage ceremony
is about the same...
57
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:05,762
...but I have no idea how long
the sacrificing of the straight men will take.
58
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,432
There you go.
59
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,728
Don't make me look too good.
Gay wedding.
60
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:16,690
Will you please stop referring to this
as a gay wedding?
61
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,401
Well, isn't it a gay wedding?
62
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,571
Well, yes, but it's not just a gay wedding.
63
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,406
It's Stanford and Anthony's wedding.
64
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,825
-Mm. Got it.
-Mm-hm.
65
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,955
Whoops. Your fly is down.
66
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,667
Better let me.
These things can be tricky.
67
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,005
You did not pull it up.
68
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,176
I have to be there in an hour.
I'm the best man.
69
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,553
Then I better do my best.
70
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,847
Don't wanna be late
to my first gay wedding.
71
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,099
This is not a gay wedding.
72
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,934
Wasting time talking.
73
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,278
Oh, come on, you're not gonna.
74
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:07,908
If ever I would leave you
75
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,579
It wouldn't be in summer
76
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,124
Seeing you in summer
77
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:19,127
Okay, it's a gay wedding.
78
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:25,967
Your hair streaked with sunlight
79
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,178
Hey.
80
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,971
-Hey.
-Hello.
81
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,849
-White enough?
-This is what it looks like...
82
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,976
...when you stare directly into the sun.
83
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,895
Well, I think it's beautiful.
84
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,023
Oh, this wedding is way more
than beautiful.
85
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,233
It's Lady Di.
86
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,445
-Mommy, can I go look at the swans?
CHARLOTTE: Yes, honey.
87
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,656
Sure, baby.
Stay where we can see you, okay?
88
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,324
-Right there.
LILY: Hi, swans.
89
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,828
CHARLOTTE: Oh, there's Samantha. Hey.
-You brought your dog?
90
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:56,915
It's a gay wedding. I figured, what's
one more little bitch with an attitude?
91
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,251
You guys, shouldn't we be
a little bit more PC?
92
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,002
ANTHONY:
Char!
93
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,212
Anthony! Hey.
94
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,672
Can you believe this place?
95
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,508
It looks like the Snow Queen exploded.
96
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,427
-How's that for PC?
-True.
97
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,846
So you're not the wedding planner?
98
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:14,182
Hell to the no. I pulled out
when Stanford mentioned swans.
99
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:18,520
Finally, I just threw up my arms,
whatever he wants, give it to him.
100
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,688
Aw.
101
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,691
Yep, Stanford gets the wedding
of his dreams and I get to cheat.
102
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,861
And don't give me that face, Char.
103
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:29,573
Just because I'm getting married doesn't
mean I have to change who I am.
104
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,075
So you're allowed to cheat
because you're gay?
105
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,368
No, because I'm Italian.
106
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,621
Carrie, Stanford's looking for you.
107
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:37,956
Cute hat.
108
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,374
Anthony.
-Coming.
109
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,002
I don't get it.
Why get married if you're gonna cheat?
110
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:46,089
Well, he didn't say he was going to cheat,
he just said he was allowed to cheat.
111
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,466
Is that how you heard it?
112
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:51,511
-Well, it's not really any of our business.
-Except, he told us.
113
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:56,057
I'm just saying, I think every couple
has the right to make their own rules.
114
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,810
Well, not really. It's marriage.
115
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,856
-Hey, who wants a cocktail?
-Oh, I do.
116
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,692
And see if they have any food.
I need a little nosh.
117
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,820
Eight years later, she's finally a Jew.
118
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:18,747
There were bells on a hill
119
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,584
Oh, Stanny. You're wearing white.
120
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,085
Like a virgin.
121
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,463
Touched for the very first time.
122
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,341
Hi.
123
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,802
So, what do you think of everything?
124
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,179
You have swans.
125
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,933
-Too much?
-When are swans ever too much?
126
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,018
I don't know what came over me.
127
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,062
Remember that summer
when I got hooked on coke?
128
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,772
-Mm.
-This was like that.
129
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,774
Well, you dropped quite a bundle.
130
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,528
Well, I've been saving for this day
since I was 19.
131
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,655
You always knew you
were gonna get married?
132
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:55,534
Yes. I just thought it would be
to a chubby, patient Jewish girl.
133
00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:00,372
FYI, Anthony's out there telling people
he's allowed to cheat.
134
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,082
I know.
135
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,460
He hates the tradition
so he pushes against it.
136
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,046
So he is allowed to cheat?
137
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,508
Yes, but only in the 45 states where
we're not legally married.
138
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,135
Okay, now you do mine.
139
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,682
"Carrie Preston"?
140
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:21,560
What?
141
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:26,856
Nothing, I'm just surprised not
to be "Bradshaw" at your wedding.
142
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:33,154
The wedding planner said that couples
are always listed under their married names.
143
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,906
Oh, that makes sense.
144
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,658
Are you taking Anthony's name?
145
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,827
No. We're guys.
146
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,998
"Guys"? Have you seen yourself
in the mirror, Lady Dior?
147
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,167
Bitch.
148
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:50,171
-Hey, did anybody send up my, um--?
-Oh.
149
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:54,342
Now, the boutonniere may say "Preston."
150
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,345
But the hat...
151
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,771
...says "Bradshaw."
152
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,737
Sunrise, sunset
153
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:16,781
Sunrise, sunset
154
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:23,371
Swiftly flow the days
155
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:30,462
Seedlings turn overnight
To sunflowers
156
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:37,093
Blossoming even as we gaze
157
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:40,305
Sunrise, sunset
158
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,807
Who's that hot straight guy with Carrie?
159
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,269
-That's Anthony's brother, Nicky.
-How can you tell that he's straight?
160
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,313
It's a gift.
161
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,744
Could this wedding get any gayer?
162
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,247
Look who's marrying them.
163
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,083
Oh, my--
164
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,794
Sunrise, sunset
165
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,754
Why would Liza say yes to this?
166
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,047
It's a law of physics.
167
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:18,468
Any time there's this much gay energy
in one room, Liza manifests.
168
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,682
Another
169
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,769
Laden with happiness
170
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:32,899
And tears
171
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:41,783
A little while later, it was time for
Stanford and Anthony to exchange vows.
172
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:47,497
And now, the brooms have written their
own v-- "Brooms"?
173
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,916
Bride, groom. Broom.
174
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,336
Oh, broom. Oh, that's marvelous.
175
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,214
Thank you, Liza Minnelli.
176
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,592
Quiet, now.
177
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,302
Weddings are serious.
178
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,681
At least that's what I've heard.
179
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:13,148
"It was not exactly love at first sight.
180
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,530
But it turns out, it was love.
181
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,869
You are the first man to accept me...
182
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,333
...for the man that I actually am."
183
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,670
That's the thing about tradition.
184
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,007
Like it or not, it sneaks in.
185
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,135
Mazeltov!
186
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,305
Congratulations.
187
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,188
All the single ladies
-All the single ladies
188
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,565
-All the single ladies
-All the single ladies
189
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,984
All the single ladies
Now put your hands up
190
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,528
Up in the club
We just broke up
191
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,031
I'm doing my own little thing
192
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,700
You decided to dip
But now you wanna trip
193
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,620
'Cause another guy noticed me
194
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,705
I'm up on him
He's up on me
195
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,208
Don't pay him any attention
196
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,627
Cried my tears
Three good years
197
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,129
Can't be mad at me
198
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,715
'Cause if you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
199
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,092
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
200
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,678
Don't be mad
Once you see that he wants it
201
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:28,139
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
202
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,974
Whoa, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
203
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,894
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
204
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,605
Whoa, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
205
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,274
Whoa, oh
Oh, oh, oh
206
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:43,279
Don't treat me to the things
Of the world
207
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,281
I'm not that kind of girl
208
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,617
Hey. How's everything?
209
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,577
Fine. Rose is giving her a hard time.
210
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,246
Should I go up to the room?
211
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,415
What was the point of bringing
the nanny out here, then?
212
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,919
-Is everything okay?
-Yeah, Rose is just driving us a little crazy.
213
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:02,757
No, not crazy. She's just a little fussy.
Everything's fine.
214
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,176
If you don't you'll be alone
215
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:11,933
And like a ghost I'll be gone
216
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,352
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
217
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,855
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
218
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,440
Don't be mad
Once you see that he wants it
219
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,277
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
220
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,445
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
221
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,865
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it
222
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,325
Don't be mad
Once you see that he wants it
223
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:32,579
If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring
224
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:38,918
Oh, ohh, ohhhh
225
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,712
Good luck.
226
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,055
Now I know why we got married.
227
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,808
So we wouldn't have to dance
to that song at weddings.
228
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,061
That the only reason?
229
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:58,563
Yeah.
230
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,027
-I have to try on your crown.
-Oh, you have to.
231
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,821
I'm sorry.
232
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,241
-Hey, I'm kissing here.
-I have to. It's from him.
233
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,827
It's Saturday. You're at a wedding.
234
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,662
Did I mention that he hates me?
235
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,581
Who would dare hate you?
236
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:21,044
The new senior law partner at her firm.
He rides her ass nonstop.
237
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:22,587
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
238
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,881
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
239
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,675
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
240
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,595
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
241
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,057
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
242
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,977
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
243
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:41,147
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
244
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,857
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
245
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,025
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
246
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:45,693
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
247
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:03,378
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
248
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,213
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
249
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,924
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
250
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,301
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
251
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,387
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
252
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:15,223
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
253
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,308
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
254
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,979
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
255
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,940
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
256
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,401
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
257
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,735
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
258
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,570
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
259
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:34,450
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
260
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,910
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
261
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,912
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
262
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:42,125
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
263
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,585
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
264
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,088
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
265
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,633
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
266
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:55,138
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
267
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,682
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
268
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,350
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
269
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,936
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
270
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:06,107
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
271
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:07,942
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
272
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,944
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
273
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,529
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
274
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:16,409
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
275
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:17,618
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
276
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,874
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
277
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,626
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
278
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,462
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
279
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,757
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
280
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:33,051
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
281
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,393
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
282
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:46,064
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
283
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,816
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
284
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:54,655
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
285
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,407
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
286
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,076
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
287
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,535
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
288
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:02,497
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
289
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,833
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
290
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:12,173
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
291
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,175
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
292
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,345
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
293
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,388
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
294
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:20,681
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
295
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,767
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
296
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,520
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
297
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,730
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
298
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,567
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
299
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,028
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
300
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,281
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
301
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,659
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
302
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,411
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
303
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:46,374
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
304
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,876
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
305
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,426
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
306
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:06,060
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
307
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:10,231
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
308
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,318
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
309
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,987
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
310
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:18,906
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
311
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,409
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
312
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,538
Yeah. Yeah!
-Yeah!
313
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,039
Yeah!
-Yeah!
314
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,083
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
315
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,501
-Yeah!
-What the--?
316
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,378
-Yeah.
- Yeah.
317
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,629
- Yeah.
-Yeah.
318
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:36,257
- Yeah.
-Yeah.
319
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,269
Rose, come on, now.
Come on, now. Sleepy time.
320
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,937
Rose. Come on.
321
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,607
Rose, Rose, Rose.
322
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,442
-Please?
-Good. Good. Here?
323
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,235
Let's go sleepy.
324
00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,945
Please, Rose?
325
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:00,406
Come on, come on.
326
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,162
-Yeah!
- Yeah!
327
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,622
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
328
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,624
- Yeah!
-Yeah!
329
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,711
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
330
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,714
-I don't know which is worse.
-Samantha.
331
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,717
The baby will tire eventually.
332
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,969
Let's get a little white noise.
333
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,477
Right from your home.
Amnesty International.
334
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,312
Visit any location. Lumber Liquid--
335
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,814
Where do you want to--?
336
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,108
-Jackpot.
Do you mind if I try?
337
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:38,319
A little black-and-white noise.
338
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:41,781
It Happened One Night.
339
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,658
Never seen it.
340
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:47,328
Well, kid, you are in for a treat.
341
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,747
Climb up in here.
342
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,667
What are you gonna do?
343
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,211
A system all my own.
344
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,303
Oh, that's shocking.
345
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,513
For the '30s, it was.
346
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,519
Did you see it when it opened originally?
347
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:17,024
Aren't you going to give me
a little credit?
348
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,068
She's pretty.
349
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,904
She's got nothing on you.
350
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:24,615
There Big and I were...
351
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:29,787
...somewhere between wild sex
and a baby.
352
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:34,375
-Hey, you.
-Hey, how are you?
353
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,630
Hi, guys.
MAN 2: How are you?
354
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,385
Thanks.
355
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:47,388
-Ready to order?
-Um, I think we'll wait for our friend.
356
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,597
Okay. Yup.
-Thanks.
357
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:52,059
Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah.
-That's a whole lot of health.
358
00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,811
-How many are there?
-Forty-four.
359
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:57,231
I'm on the one-a-day Fruity Pebbles plan.
360
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,900
Women our age shouldn't joke
about vitamins.
361
00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:03,112
Women who are not our age shouldn't
say "women our age."
362
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,240
-Yeah.
-Well, one day very soon you will thank me.
363
00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,743
I am leading the way
through the menopause maze.
364
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:13,581
With my vitamins, my melatonin sleep
patches, my bioidentical estrogen cream...
365
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,584
...progesterone cream,
a touch of testosterone--
366
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,128
-She's the hormone whisperer.
-I am.
367
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:22,173
I've tricked my body
into thinking it's younger.
368
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:25,509
I've tricked my body
into thinking it's thinner. Spanx.
369
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:29,138
And I'm telling you, no hot flashes,
no mood swings...
370
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:32,266
...and my sex drive,
it's right back to where it was.
371
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:36,062
-Really? Hadn't heard.
-Where are you getting your information?
372
00:22:36,229 --> 00:22:39,315
From Suzanne Somers
and her team of doctors.
373
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:41,442
I'll get you a copy. It's a revelation.
374
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:45,112
You're taking medical advice from
the woman who invented the ThighMaster?
375
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,323
Damn right. Have you seen my thighs?
376
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,325
Okay, go ahead, laugh. It's working.
377
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:52,995
By the time you ladies are 50, I'll be 35.
378
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:56,040
Take Mommy's hand.
-Oh, here she is.
379
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,376
I thought it was just gonna be
the four of us.
380
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,211
Don't worry, the nanny will be here.
381
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,546
Harry's just not back from playing golf.
382
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:03,964
Oh, here.
383
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,133
Let me hold that pretty
little morning Rose.
384
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,885
No. No.
-Okay, no sale.
385
00:23:08,428 --> 00:23:10,221
She just learned the word "no."
386
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,391
Good for her. We're hoping Samantha
learns it one of these days.
387
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,434
-Terrible twos.
-She's not terrible.
388
00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:18,646
No, of course, she's not terrible.
The terrible twos are terrible.
389
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:19,980
Right.
390
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:22,817
She's in the "I only want Mommy" phase.
391
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:23,984
And me and Erin.
392
00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:27,321
That's right. Just you and me and Erin.
393
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:30,157
-Who's Erin?
-Her nanny.
394
00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:32,118
How are you gonna swallow all those?
395
00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:33,661
Have we met?
396
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:36,997
Erin!
397
00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:52,847
-Good morning, ladies.
-Morning.
398
00:23:53,014 --> 00:23:55,599
I hear it was quite the glorious wedding.
399
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,018
It was.
400
00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:00,396
Oh, and you must be
the famous Samantha.
401
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,857
It's a pleasure to finally meet you.
402
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:05,693
Now, I know a little girl...
403
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:09,572
...who would just love to practice
her cartwheels on the lawn.
404
00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:11,240
Yay.
- Yay.
405
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,701
Do you have the sunblock?
406
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,036
Come to me, you little pet.
407
00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,538
There you go.
408
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:21,041
-Yes.
-You have yourselves a lovely morning.
409
00:24:21,209 --> 00:24:23,043
- You too.
-Thanks, Erin.
410
00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:26,255
-Oh, that is so sweet.
-I know.
411
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,132
That's your nanny?
412
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,592
Yes, that's Erin.
413
00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:31,260
You mean Erin Go Braless.
414
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:34,221
Ha, ha. She doesn't wear a bra.
415
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:37,391
-Was she wearing a bra at the job interview?
-I don't know.
416
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:40,728
I was too busy thinking about her degree
in Children's Education...
417
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,731
-...and how much the girls liked her.
-Her tits never came up?
418
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:46,609
No, her tits never came up.
419
00:24:46,776 --> 00:24:49,570
-And she's amazing.
SAMANTHA: Well, I'm sure she is.
420
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:53,824
But, honey, there ought to be a law
against hiring a nanny that looks like that.
421
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,659
Yeah, the Jude Law.
422
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:00,539
: Are we ready?
-Yes, I think so.
423
00:25:00,707 --> 00:25:01,957
One, two, three!
-Yeah, go!
424
00:25:03,543 --> 00:25:08,506
That's a good girl! One more time!
425
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:20,142
It seems it wasn't only the children that
were captivated by Charlotte's Irish nanny...
426
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,603
...and her lucky charms.
427
00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:34,615
And later that day,
Big and I arrived home.
428
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:41,997
-Hot in here.
- Yeah.
429
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:44,917
I'll get the air in the bedroom.
430
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,919
-You get the living room.
-Okay.
431
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:50,130
After Big and I sold the extravagant
rooftop penthouse...
432
00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:52,174
...we thought we were meant to live in...
433
00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:55,928
...we decided that maybe we needed
to come a little more down to earth.
434
00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:57,137
So we did.
435
00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:59,640
Twelve floors, to be exact.
436
00:26:00,475 --> 00:26:01,892
We may be closer to earth...
437
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:09,108
...but we kept a little bit of heaven.
438
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:33,340
We've got excellent panels,
some of the best blinds....
439
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:37,886
It's 4:30. Where should
I make reservations? Any cravings?
440
00:26:38,054 --> 00:26:40,389
Don't we have anything to eat here?
441
00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:42,975
Nothing?
442
00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:47,396
Come on. You knew when you married me
I was more Coco Chanel than coq au vin.
443
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:48,856
Let's just order in.
444
00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:50,733
We ordered in two nights last week.
445
00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:53,193
Well, we've been out all weekend.
446
00:26:55,071 --> 00:26:56,530
Let's just stay home.
447
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,450
Okay.
448
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,251
-That couch is good, right?
-Mm-hm.
449
00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:11,337
Worth the year and a half wait.
450
00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:17,217
All we need is a piece for that corner
and we're done.
451
00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:18,802
You did good, kid.
452
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:34,401
You know you have your shoes
on the couch, right?
453
00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:37,780
Year and a half, I'm just saying.
454
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:48,582
-That must be the rest of the luggage.
-Oh, good.
455
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:52,961
For a minute I thought it might be
the shoe police.
456
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,509
And a few mornings later,
in a different home....
457
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,428
Why bring rat into New York house?
458
00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:04,473
So Brady can win the
second grade science fair. Right, B-boy?
459
00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:06,725
Yeah, I'm gonna win.
460
00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:09,186
-Sit down, please, have some breakfast.
-I can't.
461
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,814
I have this presentation
and I'm sick to my stomach.
462
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:15,067
I used to love going to work
and now I'm sick at the thought of it.
463
00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:16,610
Here.
464
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:18,570
-Two bites.
-Thanks, Magda.
465
00:28:18,738 --> 00:28:20,781
You don't have to put
yourself through this.
466
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:23,283
I'm a lawyer. That's who I am.
467
00:28:23,451 --> 00:28:26,203
Life's too short.
Go someplace where they appreciate you.
468
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:29,832
Until you find a better job, you can be home
and help out around the house.
469
00:28:29,999 --> 00:28:32,418
I've waited too long to get here.
470
00:28:32,585 --> 00:28:34,169
I just have to suck it up.
471
00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:36,171
Yeah.
472
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,133
Mom, you gonna come
to the science fair today?
473
00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:44,138
Sorry, honey, she can't. Mommy's--
-She has to go to work. Yeah.
474
00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:51,145
We think that these new numbers
show a much more optimistic upside for us.
475
00:28:51,312 --> 00:28:53,480
And the savings that we found
for the client...
476
00:28:53,648 --> 00:28:57,443
...will easily make up
for any escalated legal fees that they incur.
477
00:28:57,610 --> 00:28:58,694
So it's win-win.
478
00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:01,488
It's totally win-win, Tom.
And what's more, based on--
479
00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:04,324
Kevin, I'd like you to run
with this from here on.
480
00:29:04,492 --> 00:29:05,784
But it's Miranda's case.
481
00:29:05,952 --> 00:29:09,163
Actually, it's the firm's case,
and as senior partner, I'm--
482
00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:12,291
Is there a problem?
483
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:14,376
I don't know. Is there?
484
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,837
Have something you'd like
to say to me in private?
485
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:20,507
I don't know that it needs
to be in private.
486
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:22,760
Okay, and we're all paying attention.
487
00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:28,307
Honorable mention goes to Rachel
for "What is Static Electricity?"
488
00:29:28,475 --> 00:29:31,435
-Let's give her a big hand.
-What...?
489
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:34,188
-I quit.
-Good for you.
490
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,816
-You okay?
-I'll get another job. A better job.
491
00:29:37,984 --> 00:29:40,527
And I already called the headhunter.
Where's Brady?
492
00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:47,701
Now, our first prize goes to Brady
for his Mouse Maze.
493
00:29:50,163 --> 00:29:52,372
Hey, Mom, I won!
494
00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:54,041
I made it.
495
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:55,209
I never make it.
496
00:29:55,376 --> 00:29:57,044
Good work, Brady.
-Good boy.
497
00:29:58,087 --> 00:30:00,756
Your dolphin has got all the skills...
498
00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:03,550
...and it's gonna have a little swim
with the crab.
499
00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:06,261
Yes, it is, baby girl.
500
00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:09,431
Hey, cutie, come look.
Now, what does this do here?
501
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:11,934
Look at this. Well, what is that gonna do?
502
00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:34,998
There can be many tortured moments
in the life of someone...
503
00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:37,000
...who spends her days writing books.
504
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:39,294
The antidote to those moments...
505
00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:44,132
...is the moment the finished book
finally arrives.
506
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:09,116
-Hello?
-Do I have anything to worry about?
507
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:13,120
-Can you be more specific?
-I mean with the nanny and Harry.
508
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:14,454
That's just Samantha.
509
00:31:14,622 --> 00:31:16,957
You're the one who said that thing
about Jude Law.
510
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:21,044
Oh, sweetie, it was a joke. You know,
it was right there, I had to go for it.
511
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:24,631
-And it was funny.
-No, no, I really wish I hadn't said it.
512
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:26,967
-Look, Mommy.
-Just a second, honey...
513
00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:30,345
...I just have to finish these cupcakes
for the party tomorrow, okay?
514
00:31:30,513 --> 00:31:33,390
-Hey, wait, what was I saying?
-Should you be threatened.
515
00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:34,641
Did I say "threatened"?
516
00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:36,810
Uh....
517
00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:38,729
-Should I be threatened?
-Look, Mommy, look.
518
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,523
Okay, honey. Let me just put Rose
in her chair. Carrie?
519
00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:43,525
I'm gonna put you down for a second.
520
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,986
I'm gonna put the baby down,
I'll be right back.
521
00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:50,032
-Ooh.
-It's okay. It's okay, sweetheart.
522
00:31:50,199 --> 00:31:52,326
-Oh, I know.
LILY: Look, Mommy, look.
523
00:31:52,493 --> 00:31:53,994
Oh, precious.
524
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,829
-Look at me.
-It's okay.
525
00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:59,458
Look. Look.
526
00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:00,834
Okay, I'm listening.
527
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:05,339
Well, did you have any worries
before the Samantha comment?
528
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:07,007
No, of course not.
529
00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:10,052
I love Erin and I trust Harry.
530
00:32:10,219 --> 00:32:12,346
I believe you just answered
your own question.
531
00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:14,556
Me, me, me!
532
00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:17,351
Lily! This skirt is vintage.
533
00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:20,520
-What skirt?
-It's the cream Valentino.
534
00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,522
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
535
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:24,566
I've gotta go!
536
00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:26,234
Lily, look at what you did!
537
00:32:31,532 --> 00:32:34,868
Mommy just has to get something, okay?
538
00:32:43,252 --> 00:32:44,503
Mommy.
539
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:47,506
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.
540
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:50,717
Mommy will be out in a minute.
541
00:32:50,885 --> 00:32:53,053
LILY:
Mommy, Mommy.
542
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:55,097
Mommy.
543
00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:00,769
I was just getting more sprinkles.
544
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:02,187
Girls.
545
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:06,191
Let's go and play in my bedroom.
546
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:08,652
Mommy needs some cooking time.
547
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:11,947
Charlotte was thankful
to have Erin come home at that moment.
548
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:14,700
Threat or no threat.
549
00:33:14,867 --> 00:33:16,410
Bra or no bra.
550
00:33:16,744 --> 00:33:18,578
Good. Come on, darling.
551
00:33:19,580 --> 00:33:21,915
And from no bra
on the Upper East Side...
552
00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:24,042
...to no panties in Times Square.
553
00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:26,378
It's 12 and your lunch is at 12:30.
554
00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:28,088
I'm just freshening up.
555
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:35,220
Call the restaurant and tell them
I'm going to be 15 minutes late.
556
00:33:35,388 --> 00:33:37,097
Samantha Jones.
557
00:33:39,976 --> 00:33:42,436
Smith Jerrod's on the phone.
558
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,276
Refresh my memory.
559
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:52,487
-How do we know each other again?
SMITH: You used to do my publicity.
560
00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:54,281
Doesn't ring a bell.
561
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:57,784
You used to do me.
562
00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:00,495
Oh, ding, ding ding.
563
00:34:00,663 --> 00:34:02,956
How's L.A.?
564
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:05,292
I'm in Abu Dhabi.
565
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,960
You're back in the Middle East?
566
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:09,796
Yeah. We're shooting the poster
for the movie I made here.
567
00:34:09,964 --> 00:34:13,216
And I just found out
that we're premiering in New York.
568
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,928
I'm calling because I want you
on that red carpet next to me.
569
00:34:17,096 --> 00:34:18,180
Smith.
570
00:34:18,514 --> 00:34:21,349
-You do?
-Hell, yeah.
571
00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:24,311
My career never would've happened
without you.
572
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:26,396
Who else would I take to my big night?
573
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:27,981
That is so sweet.
574
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,652
Oh. Honey? I gotta go.
575
00:34:32,820 --> 00:34:35,530
I'm pulling up my panties
to get to a lunch date.
576
00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:42,162
Not to brag...
577
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:45,332
...but did I make us
a delicious anniversary meal?
578
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:47,834
It was delicious.
579
00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,669
And you did brag.
580
00:34:50,963 --> 00:34:52,339
Oops.
581
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:56,009
You have a little osso buco right...
582
00:34:57,678 --> 00:34:59,137
...there.
583
00:34:59,305 --> 00:35:02,682
See, that's one of the perks of eating
at home. You get to kiss the cook.
584
00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:03,850
And no tipping.
585
00:35:05,186 --> 00:35:07,979
-More wine?
-Yes, please.
586
00:35:20,284 --> 00:35:21,952
Happy anniversary.
587
00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:24,830
-Now?
-Yes, now.
588
00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:28,041
Before I'm lulled into a coma
by your light Milanese fare.
589
00:35:47,395 --> 00:35:50,647
-Very nice.
-It's vintage. It's from 1968.
590
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:54,317
Very, very nice.
591
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:59,739
And it's engraved.
592
00:36:02,535 --> 00:36:03,743
"Me and you.
593
00:36:05,079 --> 00:36:06,288
Just us two."
594
00:36:17,884 --> 00:36:20,010
Your gift is in the bedroom.
595
00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:23,430
There better be something in there
I haven't already seen.
596
00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:43,158
Well, I've seen the desk.
597
00:36:43,576 --> 00:36:46,453
But you haven't seen
what's in the desk.
598
00:36:49,332 --> 00:36:52,375
A state-of-the-art flat-screen.
599
00:36:56,297 --> 00:36:58,840
And when
bedtime comes, take them in your arms...
600
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:00,759
-And....
-...into your dreams.
601
00:37:00,927 --> 00:37:05,805
WowWee Alive comes in pups.
Each sold separately from WowWee.
602
00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:10,810
So we can lay in bed and watch
old black-and-white movies.
603
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:15,190
The only word I heard
in that sentence was "old."
604
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,192
Come on.
You remember how nice it was...
605
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,486
...at the hotel watching
It Happened One Night.
606
00:37:19,654 --> 00:37:25,158
Yes. And it was nice because
it only happened one night in a hotel.
607
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:29,996
Did I fuck up?
608
00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:36,253
Well, a piece of jewelry
would've been nice.
609
00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:38,588
Oh.
610
00:37:40,716 --> 00:37:43,051
Can you get me and Big invited
to Smith's premiere?
611
00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:46,012
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Good.
612
00:37:47,139 --> 00:37:49,975
I think we need some glamour.
613
00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:52,811
You know, the television
and the ordering in...
614
00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:57,190
...it's just getting
a little too "Mr. and Mrs. Married."
615
00:37:57,358 --> 00:38:01,444
-You'll have a good time.
-Yeah. Ooh.
616
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:04,864
Look at that.
617
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:08,326
Very nice.
618
00:38:10,037 --> 00:38:12,580
It is a fabulous dress for the premiere.
619
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:15,292
What's the worst thing
they could say about me in this dress?
620
00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:16,459
Uh....
621
00:38:16,627 --> 00:38:19,879
-"Who the hell does she think she is?"
-Just went to the top of my list.
622
00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:22,132
So, um, you and Smith.
623
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,384
You're going
to this premiere together as...?
624
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:27,887
Oh, honey, just friends. But I may
throw him a fuck if I like the movie.
625
00:38:28,055 --> 00:38:30,807
Oh, that's nice. That should take
the edge off the reviews.
626
00:38:30,975 --> 00:38:34,269
Carrie. I haven't seen you here
in forever.
627
00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:37,731
Yeah, I know. I've been cheating on fashion
with furniture.
628
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:41,443
-So, what can I help you with?
-Well, we need to find a red-carpet look...
629
00:38:41,610 --> 00:38:44,070
-...for my friend Samantha.
-And I think we found it.
630
00:38:44,238 --> 00:38:45,739
Is that maybe a little young?
631
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:48,950
I don't know.
632
00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,953
Exactly how old do you think I am?
633
00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:54,539
And not that it matters...
634
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:58,752
...but I am 50-fucking-2
and I will rock this dress.
635
00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:01,504
I'll get you a changing room.
636
00:39:01,672 --> 00:39:04,132
How's the writing going?
Still working for Vogue?
637
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,968
-Freelance.
-Oh, that's fabulous.
638
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,430
You had to do that to her?
639
00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:12,265
Well, how else is she gonna learn?
640
00:39:12,433 --> 00:39:13,516
And speaking of Vogue...
641
00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:17,020
...they want you to write a piece
to accompany the release of your book.
642
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:20,565
Oh, great. Has there been any long-lead
press reaction to the book yet?
643
00:39:21,108 --> 00:39:23,276
Not yet, but I'm sure it'll all be fabulous.
644
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:31,326
Is that you?
645
00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:33,661
I hope so.
646
00:39:34,330 --> 00:39:37,290
-Who else has a key?
-The Gristedes delivery boy.
647
00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:39,125
Really?
648
00:39:39,293 --> 00:39:42,962
Well, you know, you want food at home,
that's a risk you take.
649
00:39:43,130 --> 00:39:46,966
Don't get too comfortable on that couch.
We have to be at the premiere in an hour.
650
00:39:47,134 --> 00:39:49,260
-Is that tonight?
-Mm-hm.
651
00:39:49,428 --> 00:39:51,846
-On a Monday?
-Yes.
652
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,182
We don't go out on Mondays.
653
00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:58,978
Well, first of all,
I didn't know we didn't...
654
00:39:59,146 --> 00:40:03,650
...and second of all, problem?
655
00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:05,485
The market fell a hundred points...
656
00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:08,696
...and now I have to get dressed up
and go to some Hollywood thing?
657
00:40:08,864 --> 00:40:11,741
All you have to do
is put on a fresh shirt.
658
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,159
Can't you go without me?
659
00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:16,454
I don't wanna go without you.
I wanna go with you.
660
00:40:16,622 --> 00:40:18,665
That's the point.
661
00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:21,835
Me and you out on the town.
662
00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:24,003
I've been out on the town for 30 years.
663
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:26,089
I've seen the town, kid.
664
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,091
You go have fun with your friends.
665
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,385
But I wanna spend time with you.
666
00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:33,930
Oh, well, if you wanna spend time
with me, we'll stay here.
667
00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:37,142
At our home. Which you made so perfect.
668
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:43,523
You just don't want to get your ass
off the couch.
669
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:48,778
All right, fine. Stay.
670
00:40:48,946 --> 00:40:50,071
I'll go with Stanford.
671
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:51,948
Okay.
672
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:55,452
Information. What is it...?
673
00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:00,915
What's that?
674
00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:05,378
Oh, I picked up some dinner
from that new Japanese place on Madison.
675
00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:17,056
--before their acquisition changed history,
before the merger, certainty...
676
00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:21,603
...before action, knowledge.
Thomson Reuters.
677
00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:25,565
Throw this back. We're going.
678
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:27,817
-I thought you just said--
-I changed my mind.
679
00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:31,654
Do you really want to be pushed and shoved
in a crowd and eat bad catered food?
680
00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:36,409
Yes. Yes. I'm dying
to be pushed and shoved in a crowd...
681
00:41:36,577 --> 00:41:38,912
...and eat bad catered food.
682
00:41:39,079 --> 00:41:42,874
I'm dying to eat anything
that doesn't come in a takeout box.
683
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:44,209
Bottoms up.
684
00:41:44,376 --> 00:41:46,544
I'll put out a fresh shirt.
685
00:41:54,845 --> 00:41:58,973
MAN:
Fans on the right, take models to the left.
686
00:41:59,141 --> 00:42:01,267
I think we're a little overdressed,
don't you?
687
00:42:01,435 --> 00:42:02,894
Please walk off the red carpet.
688
00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,604
Oh, we're VIPs. See?
689
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:07,065
Show your bracelets.
690
00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:08,608
Show your bracelet.
691
00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:10,276
Smith! Right here!
692
00:42:10,444 --> 00:42:12,612
-One more.
MAN 1: One more.
693
00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,282
Samantha looks smoking hot.
694
00:42:16,992 --> 00:42:18,868
Is that dress maybe a little young?
695
00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:20,787
Miley!
- Miley!
696
00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:23,665
-Miley!
-Maybe.
697
00:42:23,832 --> 00:42:24,999
Mother of God.
698
00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:27,877
She's wearing the same dress
as teen queen Miley Cyrus.
699
00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:31,130
I know what's gonna happen,
but I can't look away.
700
00:42:31,298 --> 00:42:33,132
It's a red-carpet Hindenburg.
701
00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:37,220
- Right this way, Miley!
-Over here!
702
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:40,139
Awkward times two.
703
00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:43,643
Miley! Miley, is that your mother?
704
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:47,146
Miley! Miley, right here! Miley!
705
00:42:47,314 --> 00:42:50,483
Sometimes, a girlfriend
is a girl you've never even met.
706
00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:51,818
Great dress.
707
00:42:51,986 --> 00:42:53,736
Thanks for saying that.
708
00:42:53,904 --> 00:42:57,073
And all is right in Hollywood.
709
00:42:57,658 --> 00:42:59,117
-Ooh.
-Just got pushed.
710
00:43:03,706 --> 00:43:05,623
In the VIP room at the after-party...
711
00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:08,626
...Samantha found herself
in the middle of the Middle East...
712
00:43:08,794 --> 00:43:12,422
...seated directly across
from the film's producer, Sheikh Khalid.
713
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:16,217
This is our first venture
into the world film market...
714
00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:18,303
...and we are honored
to be represented...
715
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:22,515
...by such a magnificent American star
as Smith Jerrod.
716
00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:23,725
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
717
00:43:23,892 --> 00:43:26,102
But you should really be
thanking Samantha.
718
00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:29,522
I mean, it's all her.
I was just a waiter before she came along.
719
00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:32,900
She handled my public relations
and made everybody see me as a star.
720
00:43:33,944 --> 00:43:34,986
Is this true?
721
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,529
Well...
722
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:37,989
...yes.
723
00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:42,535
Have you ever been
to the United Arab Emirates?
724
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:45,288
No, and I could kick myself.
725
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:49,375
But friends of mine have been to Dubai
and they say it is amazing.
726
00:43:49,543 --> 00:43:51,711
Dubai is--
727
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,547
I am at a loss for the word in English.
728
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,053
Dubai is over.
729
00:44:00,220 --> 00:44:04,057
-Really?
-With all respect to my Emirate brother...
730
00:44:04,224 --> 00:44:05,892
...Abu Dhabi is the future.
731
00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:10,938
A progressive, global city of commerce,
culture and...
732
00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:12,899
...style.
733
00:44:13,776 --> 00:44:17,153
-It is the new Middle East.
-The new Middle East.
734
00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:21,574
But you should see it for yourself.
As my guest, at my new hotel.
735
00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:25,578
And if it does not interfere too much
with your wonderful time...
736
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,581
...we might be able
to discuss some business.
737
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,376
-Business?
-Perhaps you could make...
738
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:34,587
...America see my hotel as a star...
739
00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:36,589
...as you did with Smith Jerrod.
740
00:44:38,967 --> 00:44:41,010
And suddenly, it's all about the couch.
741
00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:43,638
Two years ago, we never even
uttered the word "couch."
742
00:44:43,806 --> 00:44:46,641
And now, our entire universe
revolves around it.
743
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:48,017
Count your blessings.
744
00:44:48,185 --> 00:44:51,187
Remember when you couldn't even
get him to sleep over?
745
00:44:51,438 --> 00:44:52,480
Yeah, I know. I know.
746
00:44:52,648 --> 00:44:56,109
We're out tonight. He could at least slap
on a smile and have a good time.
747
00:44:56,276 --> 00:44:59,946
Already had a nervous breakdown.
No, believe me--
748
00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:02,448
He seems to be having a good time now.
749
00:45:02,616 --> 00:45:04,617
People think that Spaniards don't work...
750
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,663
...that we just take siestas
and drink Rioja and go to the beach.
751
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:12,333
There was a jumbo shrimp free-for-all
at the raw bar.
752
00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:16,212
-I'm gonna be-- I'll be right back.
-Okay.
753
00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:20,007
Every night before bed,
I am on my knees praying:
754
00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:22,385
"Please, God, let it stay up."
755
00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:29,559
-Please let what stay up?
-Hi. The stock market.
756
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,228
-This is Carmen Garcia Carrion.
-Carrion.
757
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,646
-Carrion.
-Very good.
758
00:45:34,314 --> 00:45:36,858
She is the Senior Vice President
of the Bank of Madrid.
759
00:45:37,651 --> 00:45:38,651
-Hi.
- Hi.
760
00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:40,820
-This is--
-Carrie Preston. Hi.
761
00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:44,323
Oh, Carrie Preston. Nice to meet you.
Your husband is very charming.
762
00:45:44,491 --> 00:45:45,992
Isn't he?
763
00:45:46,368 --> 00:45:50,663
So you were right about the catered food
and the shoving.
764
00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:53,249
So I'm ready to go whenever you are.
765
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:55,042
Oh.
766
00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:58,129
-Well, nice to meet you both.
-Nice to meet you.
767
00:45:58,297 --> 00:45:59,839
I'll try to keep it up for you.
768
00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:02,800
-You're so funny. He's very funny.
-He is.
769
00:46:02,968 --> 00:46:04,051
-Good night.
-Good night.
770
00:46:04,219 --> 00:46:06,345
Bye. Good night.
771
00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:08,556
:
Is that all you got?
772
00:46:12,478 --> 00:46:16,063
I mean, all we're trying to do is just
keep from getting dead.
773
00:46:16,565 --> 00:46:17,607
Damn!
774
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:23,196
Since the very first Deadliest Catch
cameras rolled seven seasons ago--
775
00:46:24,031 --> 00:46:25,239
It's a little loud.
776
00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:27,700
--the fleet has gone on
more than 60 voyages.
777
00:46:30,370 --> 00:46:34,207
And for the record,
that is not a black-and-white movie.
778
00:46:34,374 --> 00:46:35,792
What?
779
00:46:35,959 --> 00:46:39,378
That was supposed to be
for black-and-white movies...
780
00:46:39,546 --> 00:46:42,256
...and that
is not a black-and-white movie.
781
00:46:44,843 --> 00:46:48,721
When the gay guy hit on me
at the wedding you thought it was funny.
782
00:46:50,140 --> 00:46:52,058
I'm not upset about the flirt.
783
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:56,729
I like the flirt. In fact, you could dial up
the flirt around here a little more.
784
00:46:56,897 --> 00:46:59,315
I get TV and take-out guy...
785
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:02,235
...and Bank of Madrid lady,
she gets sparkle guy.
786
00:47:05,864 --> 00:47:08,825
I'm sorry. Are we having a discussion
or watching television?
787
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:11,077
What is it with you and this television?
788
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:13,246
I don't wanna be one of those couples...
789
00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:17,458
...lying in bed,
watching television and not talking.
790
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:20,586
That is not the relationship
I signed up for.
791
00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:23,631
It's a television,
not the end of the world.
792
00:47:23,799 --> 00:47:26,175
Well, maybe to you it's not.
793
00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:29,011
The Bering Sea has many faces.
794
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:35,852
You're not happy in,
and you're not happy out.
795
00:47:38,188 --> 00:47:39,313
What does that mean?
796
00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:41,274
Well, what do you want from me?
797
00:47:41,441 --> 00:47:44,068
I put on the shirt, I went to the thing...
798
00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:48,072
...and now you're hammering me
about lying in bed and watching a little TV?
799
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:50,032
I mean, what is the problem?
800
00:47:56,331 --> 00:47:57,874
Look...
801
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:01,168
...it's just going to be you and me...
802
00:48:01,336 --> 00:48:04,463
...every night, for the rest of our lives.
803
00:48:04,631 --> 00:48:07,633
And I think that we are going...
804
00:48:07,801 --> 00:48:10,303
...to have to work on the sparkle...
805
00:48:10,470 --> 00:48:12,471
...for the rest of our lives.
806
00:48:13,307 --> 00:48:14,974
Sparkle.
807
00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:16,475
Got it.
808
00:48:27,946 --> 00:48:29,405
Listen to that!
809
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:34,160
When it starts really screaming, the waves
stack up, and you've got these big, nasty--
810
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:37,288
You can, by unlocking
the power of natural juice...
811
00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:39,498
...with Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer.
812
00:48:39,666 --> 00:48:41,459
Change your life. Save your life.
813
00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:43,669
You are the most important person
you have.
814
00:48:43,837 --> 00:48:45,671
If you don't do it, who will?
815
00:48:45,839 --> 00:48:50,343
Juicing is the easy way to help save
your life. And I guarantee it.
816
00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:52,762
So don't delay. Drink yourself healthy.
817
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:56,140
Start enjoying the benefits of fresh,
all-natural juice.
818
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,809
Order your Jack LaLanne
Power Juicer now.
819
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:37,390
The last two years
weren't exactly the best time...
820
00:49:37,557 --> 00:49:39,100
...to put an apartment on the market.
821
00:49:39,267 --> 00:49:40,643
So we didn't.
822
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:43,562
And from time to time,
I'd come here to write.
823
00:49:48,860 --> 00:49:50,569
Or to visit the clothes.
824
00:50:06,211 --> 00:50:08,129
-Hello?
-What time did you wake up?
825
00:50:08,296 --> 00:50:10,631
I don't know, about 6.
826
00:50:12,759 --> 00:50:15,803
I'm worried about the Vogue article,
so I wanted to get started.
827
00:50:15,971 --> 00:50:18,014
You haven't written over there in a while.
828
00:50:18,181 --> 00:50:20,099
Yeah, I know. I know. I just--
829
00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:23,769
I don't know, I thought it would be easier
to work here. No distractions.
830
00:50:24,771 --> 00:50:26,439
-Okay.
-Anyway, it's due Thursday...
831
00:50:26,606 --> 00:50:30,109
...and I'm not even sure
what I'm writing yet, so, um....
832
00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:32,611
Maybe I should just stay here
until I get it done.
833
00:50:33,071 --> 00:50:34,405
You're going to stay there?
834
00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:36,949
Just two days.
You know, just to bang it out.
835
00:50:37,576 --> 00:50:39,785
-Is that all right?
-Whatever you need.
836
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:42,663
-Everything okay?
-Yeah.
837
00:50:42,831 --> 00:50:46,333
No, I just feel like I really need
to lock myself in a room...
838
00:50:46,501 --> 00:50:51,297
...and not think about anything
but writing.
839
00:50:51,798 --> 00:50:52,840
Okay?
840
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,300
Okay.
841
00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:57,720
-Just two days. Okay?
-Okay.
842
00:50:58,638 --> 00:50:59,597
-Okay.
-Bye.
843
00:50:59,765 --> 00:51:01,182
Bye.
844
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:04,894
And I did think about nothing but writing.
845
00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:08,564
Until the next day, when I could think
about nothing but food.
846
00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:12,234
And as long as I was going to break
to eat anyway, I thought:
847
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:13,819
"Why not call the girls?"
848
00:51:13,987 --> 00:51:16,238
One week in Abu Dhabi,
all expenses paid.
849
00:51:16,656 --> 00:51:20,659
I've always been fascinated by
the Middle East. You know, desert moons...
850
00:51:20,827 --> 00:51:23,621
...Scheherazade, magic carpets.
851
00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:28,000
-Like Jasmine in Aladdin?
-Yes, sweetie, just like Jasmine.
852
00:51:28,168 --> 00:51:29,835
But with cocktails.
853
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:35,716
-It is exciting. When are you gonna go?
-I don't know. When can you all be free?
854
00:51:37,552 --> 00:51:39,845
You didn't think I was going
without my gals.
855
00:51:40,013 --> 00:51:42,348
-What?
-I told the sheikh I'd go on one condition:
856
00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:45,017
I'd get to bring my three best girlfriends.
857
00:51:45,185 --> 00:51:46,977
-Get out of town.
-My point exactly.
858
00:51:47,145 --> 00:51:50,564
And we are being flown
on the sheikh's own airline.
859
00:51:50,732 --> 00:51:52,525
-He has his own airline?
-Mm-hm.
860
00:51:52,692 --> 00:51:56,529
-Oh, that is one chic sheikh.
- Super, super, super first class.
861
00:51:56,696 --> 00:51:59,865
And you get your own individual suite
on the plane.
862
00:52:00,033 --> 00:52:01,867
-Oh, my God.
- All expenses paid for...
863
00:52:02,035 --> 00:52:04,954
...everything for all of us.
All we have to do is pick the week.
864
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:08,374
And the sooner, the better.
I can hear the decadence calling.
865
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:11,585
Let me just check my work schedule.
Yeah. All clear.
866
00:52:12,420 --> 00:52:16,048
I gotta check with the old ball and chain,
but I'm good to go. Middle East me.
867
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:17,967
Charlotte, how's three weeks from now?
868
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,927
Oh, I don't know. I--
869
00:52:20,303 --> 00:52:23,806
We have to go this month. Next month,
it gets so hot, you burst into flames.
870
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,225
I bet that's not on their website.
871
00:52:26,393 --> 00:52:28,352
I mean, I don't know if I can go at all.
872
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:29,603
I have two children.
873
00:52:29,771 --> 00:52:31,355
Yes, yes, but you have a husband.
874
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:35,067
And a full-time nanny. You said so yourself.
The kids love the nanny, right?
875
00:52:36,194 --> 00:52:38,988
-Yes, but--
- But what? What's the problem?
876
00:52:39,156 --> 00:52:41,323
I mean, we haven't been
anywhere together...
877
00:52:41,491 --> 00:52:44,243
...since Carrie and Big's wedding blowup
honeymoon disaster.
878
00:52:44,411 --> 00:52:46,370
-Memories.
-And that was two years ago.
879
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:50,583
Two years of bad business
and this bullshit economy, and I'm done.
880
00:52:50,750 --> 00:52:53,127
We need to go somewhere rich.
881
00:52:53,295 --> 00:52:55,254
-Samantha, I appreciate the--
-No.
882
00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:58,048
I go to children's birthday parties for you.
883
00:52:58,216 --> 00:53:01,260
You are going to Abu Dhabi for me.
884
00:53:01,428 --> 00:53:03,429
Children's birthday parties.
885
00:53:03,597 --> 00:53:04,972
Pulling out the big guns.
886
00:53:11,938 --> 00:53:13,105
-Okay.
-Thank you.
887
00:53:13,273 --> 00:53:16,442
Look at us. Going to Abu Dhabi.
888
00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:27,912
-Hello.
-How'd it go?
889
00:53:28,079 --> 00:53:30,289
Just finished.
And thanks for the time.
890
00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:34,126
How soon can you be dressed for dinner?
I have 9:00 reservations.
891
00:53:34,294 --> 00:53:36,003
Well...
892
00:53:36,171 --> 00:53:37,546
...it's 8:30 already.
893
00:53:37,714 --> 00:53:39,715
I'm downstairs.
894
00:53:41,468 --> 00:53:44,637
And just like that, it was 1998 again.
895
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:46,472
I'll be right down.
896
00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:09,870
-Hey, kid.
-Hey.
897
00:54:10,288 --> 00:54:11,538
I missed you.
898
00:54:12,165 --> 00:54:14,124
I missed you.
899
00:54:20,257 --> 00:54:22,466
We had a wonderful dinner out.
900
00:54:22,634 --> 00:54:23,926
And back at home...
901
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:28,389
...the television stayed off
the entire night.
902
00:54:32,185 --> 00:54:36,188
And pretty soon,
the Middle East was upon us.
903
00:54:36,564 --> 00:54:38,649
I need that.
904
00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:41,902
-Almost packed?
-One more to go.
905
00:54:43,321 --> 00:54:46,532
I had an idea I wanted
to talk to you about.
906
00:54:46,866 --> 00:54:50,077
Remember when you took those
two days away to finish your article...
907
00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:53,163
-...and then we had that great night?
-Mm-hm.
908
00:54:53,331 --> 00:54:55,582
Maybe we should think
about doing that every week.
909
00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:58,377
Hear me out.
910
00:54:59,587 --> 00:55:03,966
After you took those two days
at your old apartment, I started thinking:
911
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,551
What if I got a place?
912
00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:10,139
-You want your own apartment?
-No, not my own apartment.
913
00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:12,766
Just a place that I can go
two days a week...
914
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:16,562
...lie around, watch television,
do the shit I wanna do that bugs you.
915
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:18,230
And then the other five days...
916
00:55:18,398 --> 00:55:23,235
...I'd be here and available
for dinners and sparkle or whatever.
917
00:55:24,070 --> 00:55:28,407
So you're telling me that you want
two days off a week from our marriage.
918
00:55:28,575 --> 00:55:30,451
And you'd have the same two days.
919
00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:32,244
Oh, my God.
920
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:34,538
To work or see your friends.
921
00:55:34,706 --> 00:55:36,540
Do the things you wanna do without me.
922
00:55:36,708 --> 00:55:39,585
But I don't wanna do things without you.
923
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:41,378
Carrie, come on, I know you.
924
00:55:41,546 --> 00:55:44,798
Can you honestly tell me you didn't enjoy
those two days to yourself?
925
00:55:45,550 --> 00:55:49,470
Two days, yes,
but I don't need it every week.
926
00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:53,849
Are you saying you need it every week?
927
00:55:54,392 --> 00:55:57,269
I don't know, it was just an idea.
Something to think about.
928
00:55:58,438 --> 00:56:00,814
Marriage doesn't work like that.
929
00:56:01,691 --> 00:56:04,818
I thought we were supposed to be
making up our own rules.
930
00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:15,245
So two days, then four days,
then what, no days?
931
00:56:15,413 --> 00:56:19,083
-Is that where this is heading?
-I never would've brought it up if I thought...
932
00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:22,461
...it was gonna make you think I want out.
Look, I knew two years ago:
933
00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,630
I am exactly where I wanna be.
934
00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:26,465
Five days a week.
935
00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:30,219
Look, I'm just trying to make it
a little easier for us to live together.
936
00:56:30,387 --> 00:56:31,845
I mean, we're married...
937
00:56:32,013 --> 00:56:33,889
...but we're still us.
938
00:56:34,307 --> 00:56:37,059
Is this because I'm a bitch wife
who nags you?
939
00:56:40,021 --> 00:56:42,398
I feel like I'm disappointing you
all the time.
940
00:56:42,857 --> 00:56:45,692
No, you're not disappointing me.
941
00:56:47,695 --> 00:56:48,987
Well, something is.
942
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:59,498
So, what would I tell the girls?
"Big and I are taking two days a week off...
943
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:02,668
...to make our marriage work better"?
They'd never understand.
944
00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:04,586
I don't care if they understand.
945
00:57:04,754 --> 00:57:06,213
This is our marriage.
946
00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:09,341
Me and you. Just like you said.
947
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:11,760
Carrie...
948
00:57:11,928 --> 00:57:14,179
...we're adults without children.
949
00:57:14,347 --> 00:57:17,182
We have the luxury to design our life.
950
00:57:18,309 --> 00:57:20,561
Well, you can't get your own apartment.
951
00:57:20,728 --> 00:57:23,230
That would freak me out
and it's a waste of money.
952
00:57:25,358 --> 00:57:28,152
You can have my old place
two days a week.
953
00:57:29,362 --> 00:57:34,450
Temporarily, till I figure out
how I feel about this.
954
00:57:35,660 --> 00:57:39,079
And I can take it back any time.
955
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:42,082
Deal.
956
00:57:44,419 --> 00:57:46,170
-There's the car.
-I'll get your bags.
957
00:57:46,337 --> 00:57:47,713
Oh, yes, you will.
958
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:52,009
And in a week, I'll pick you up
at the airport and take you home.
959
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:54,136
Whose home, yours or mine?
960
00:57:55,054 --> 00:57:56,722
Ours.
961
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,818
-Welcome.
-Thank you.
962
00:58:09,986 --> 00:58:11,778
Ladies and gentlemen...
963
00:58:11,946 --> 00:58:15,908
...we are pleased to welcome you onboard
our flight to Abu Dhabi International Airport.
964
00:58:16,075 --> 00:58:18,410
-Nice.
-Hi.
965
00:58:21,247 --> 00:58:22,915
Wow.
966
00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:29,046
Welcome aboard Afdal Air.
967
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:30,923
Thank you.
968
00:58:31,090 --> 00:58:33,258
Thank you. I love your hat.
969
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,177
Thank you.
970
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,346
And I thought mine
was gonna be too much.
971
00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:39,598
Oh, my God.
972
00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:42,142
-This is bigger than my first apartment.
-Hot towel?
973
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:44,019
And everything is so beautiful.
974
00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:46,313
Just like I promised: the best of the best.
975
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:49,483
And look:
976
00:58:50,109 --> 00:58:51,485
Arabic Pringles.
977
00:58:51,653 --> 00:58:53,278
Okay, now I'm impressed.
978
00:58:53,446 --> 00:58:55,906
-Date?
-Would you care for a date?
979
00:58:56,074 --> 00:58:59,284
Not on vacation five minutes
and I already got a date.
980
00:58:59,452 --> 00:59:02,955
Dates are the traditional welcome fruit
of the Middle East.
981
00:59:03,122 --> 00:59:05,624
I read that in one of these.
982
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:09,628
-Oh. You moving there?
-I've got us covered. The dos and don'ts.
983
00:59:09,796 --> 00:59:11,046
And speaking of don'ts...
984
00:59:11,214 --> 00:59:14,007
...men and women do not embrace
in public in the Middle East.
985
00:59:14,175 --> 00:59:17,094
Eh, eh, eh!
No, no, no. She's talking to you, sister.
986
00:59:17,262 --> 00:59:20,389
Oh, please.
We're going to the new Middle East.
987
00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:23,392
And when I need a break
from all the real information...
988
00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:27,646
...I have this.
989
00:59:31,776 --> 00:59:32,818
Let me see this.
990
00:59:36,489 --> 00:59:39,992
Oh, listen. How exotic.
I wonder what she's saying.
991
00:59:40,159 --> 00:59:43,662
Probably telling us not to bring
those magazines on a 13-hour plane ride...
992
00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:47,666
-...with an impressionable woman.
-Charlotte, honey, don't read that.
993
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,878
Sorry.
994
00:59:56,009 --> 00:59:58,677
You see,
it becomes a "Y" after a few drinks.
995
00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:01,054
-I see.
-Care for another round, ladies?
996
01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:04,933
It means "yes."
997
01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:09,354
Yeah, not the best word for her to learn.
998
01:00:09,522 --> 01:00:11,356
How many times are you gonna read that?
999
01:00:14,944 --> 01:00:20,157
Big and I are thinking about taking
two days a week apart to do our own thing.
1000
01:00:20,325 --> 01:00:21,366
Is everything okay?
1001
01:00:21,534 --> 01:00:24,369
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just something we're talking about.
1002
01:00:24,537 --> 01:00:27,873
You know, he would get two days off
to do his things...
1003
01:00:28,041 --> 01:00:30,000
...and on those days,
I would do my things.
1004
01:00:30,168 --> 01:00:34,004
You know, like write
or have dinner with you guys...
1005
01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:36,715
...or I don't know, whatever.
1006
01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:38,717
Love it. I'm available.
1007
01:00:38,885 --> 01:00:41,887
Two days off?
You make marriage sound like a job.
1008
01:00:42,055 --> 01:00:44,556
Well, it may not be a job, but it's work.
1009
01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,142
Well, would that mean
that you would have two nights off too?
1010
01:00:47,310 --> 01:00:48,727
Mm-hm.
1011
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:51,897
-Where would you sleep?
-Well, he's gonna stay at my old place...
1012
01:00:52,065 --> 01:00:53,690
...and I'll stay at our new place.
1013
01:00:53,858 --> 01:00:56,735
I loved that time when Steve and I
knew we were together...
1014
01:00:56,903 --> 01:01:00,447
...but we still had our own places.
That was the best of both worlds.
1015
01:01:00,615 --> 01:01:04,660
I just think marriage is two people...
1016
01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:07,746
...night after night,
sleeping in the same bed.
1017
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:10,540
You have four people in your bed.
1018
01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:13,418
I've had four people in my bed.
1019
01:01:15,421 --> 01:01:16,672
No?
1020
01:01:16,839 --> 01:01:18,215
Well, ladies...
1021
01:01:18,383 --> 01:01:22,219
...I am going to slap on
a patch of melatonin...
1022
01:01:22,387 --> 01:01:24,680
...and have a seven-star snooze.
1023
01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:27,933
-I will see you in the Middle East.
-Night.
1024
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:31,645
It means "good night."
1025
01:01:35,817 --> 01:01:37,025
I'm sorry.
1026
01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:38,819
Explain it again.
1027
01:01:38,986 --> 01:01:40,779
Just, what is it really about?
1028
01:01:44,534 --> 01:01:47,619
Big and I are just trying
to make our own rules.
1029
01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:50,622
You know, figure out what works best
for us as a couple...
1030
01:01:50,790 --> 01:01:52,874
...not what society says should work
for us.
1031
01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:55,293
Okay. God.
1032
01:01:55,461 --> 01:01:56,545
Charlotte...
1033
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:58,964
...we're adults with no children.
1034
01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:02,217
We have the luxury
to design our own life.
1035
01:02:04,762 --> 01:02:07,973
But doesn't it hurt your feelings
that he would want time off?
1036
01:02:12,603 --> 01:02:14,730
You just don't get it.
1037
01:02:26,075 --> 01:02:28,493
Somewhere over Africa...
1038
01:02:28,661 --> 01:02:30,996
...I began to wonder about relationships.
1039
01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:37,586
Can we really ever expect anyone
on the outside...
1040
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,547
...to understand what goes on
between two other people?
1041
01:02:44,927 --> 01:02:49,306
Eight time zones and a change
of clothes later, we arrived in the future.
1042
01:02:49,474 --> 01:02:52,184
Have any of you ladies ever been
to the Middle East before?
1043
01:02:52,351 --> 01:02:55,270
No, we're all virgins.
1044
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:01,193
Thank you.
1045
01:03:03,362 --> 01:03:07,157
Super, super, super gentle.
Thank you, thank you.
1046
01:03:23,549 --> 01:03:25,050
I am sorry, but...
1047
01:03:25,343 --> 01:03:27,636
...do you have any drugs in your luggage?
1048
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:30,764
No. Just my hormones.
1049
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:36,728
You gotta be kidding me.
1050
01:03:36,896 --> 01:03:39,815
I am sorry. It is just a UAE law.
1051
01:03:39,982 --> 01:03:42,943
But they're all natural.
They're made from yams.
1052
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:46,613
Ladies, these are not drugs.
1053
01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:51,535
Okay, I need to speak to an ambassador
or an embassy...
1054
01:03:51,702 --> 01:03:53,578
...or someone in menopause.
1055
01:03:53,746 --> 01:03:54,996
Samantha, please calm down.
1056
01:03:55,164 --> 01:03:59,292
-This is getting very, very Midnight Express.
-Okay. Fine, take them.
1057
01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:04,548
Without those creams and vitamins,
I will go ricocheting back into menopause.
1058
01:04:04,715 --> 01:04:08,426
-Relax, it's one week.
-Tell that to the beard I'll be growing.
1059
01:04:08,594 --> 01:04:11,805
We've set your meeting
with Sheikh Khalid for the end of your trip...
1060
01:04:11,973 --> 01:04:14,266
...after you and your friends
have experienced...
1061
01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:16,768
...the best of what Abu Dhabi has
to offer.
1062
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:18,603
Which starts right now.
1063
01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:20,355
Yours for the entire trip.
1064
01:04:20,773 --> 01:04:23,275
Four new Maybachs.
1065
01:04:25,611 --> 01:04:27,445
Wow, do we need all four?
1066
01:04:27,613 --> 01:04:30,031
It is already arranged.
1067
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:38,290
I'll be in my own private air conditioning.
1068
01:04:39,208 --> 01:04:42,627
I will be departing from you here.
The hotel awaits your arrival.
1069
01:04:42,795 --> 01:04:46,464
If you need me for anything,
please do not hesitate to ask.
1070
01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:48,466
Could you help me check
and make sure...
1071
01:04:48,634 --> 01:04:51,052
...that my iPhone
has the proper international code?
1072
01:04:52,805 --> 01:04:56,892
I think that we can find someone
not so official to help with that.
1073
01:04:57,310 --> 01:04:59,895
-He offered.
-Hey, what's the holdup?
1074
01:05:00,062 --> 01:05:02,606
We got a lot of Abu Dhabi to do.
1075
01:05:02,773 --> 01:05:05,317
Abu Dhabi do.
1076
01:05:06,819 --> 01:05:08,069
Welcome to Abu Dhabi.
1077
01:05:08,237 --> 01:05:09,988
-Thank you.
-Pleasure.
1078
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:23,919
Oh, my God.
1079
01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:04,292
Oh, Toto, I don't think
we're in Kansas anymore.
1080
01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:08,254
Miss Jones?
1081
01:06:08,422 --> 01:06:10,090
I am Mr. Safir, the hotel manager.
1082
01:06:10,925 --> 01:06:13,802
-I trust your flight was pleasant?
-Like a magic carpet.
1083
01:06:14,178 --> 01:06:16,221
-How charming. For you.
-Oh, thank you.
1084
01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:18,056
-Please, for you.
-Thank you.
1085
01:06:18,224 --> 01:06:20,100
Please-- Oh, thank you.
1086
01:06:20,267 --> 01:06:22,435
This way, if you please, ladies.
1087
01:06:22,603 --> 01:06:24,437
How do we tip in Abu Dhabi?
1088
01:06:24,605 --> 01:06:26,481
Have you got any loose rubies?
1089
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:31,069
We have many wonderful things
planned for you at the hotel.
1090
01:06:33,155 --> 01:06:35,991
Oh. This is gorgeous.
SAFIR: Thank you.
1091
01:06:36,158 --> 01:06:39,244
And, please, some Arabic coffee.
1092
01:06:39,412 --> 01:06:42,080
-Thank you.
-Made with rose water and cumin.
1093
01:06:43,457 --> 01:06:44,624
That means "thank you."
1094
01:06:45,126 --> 01:06:47,085
-You speak Arabic?
-Not yet.
1095
01:06:47,795 --> 01:06:49,921
Well, you're off to a great start.
1096
01:06:53,676 --> 01:06:54,843
It's different.
1097
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:56,428
Not your cup of tea.
1098
01:06:56,595 --> 01:06:58,304
-What's with all the men?
-Thank you.
1099
01:06:58,472 --> 01:07:00,265
Oh, the World Cup trials are here.
1100
01:07:00,433 --> 01:07:01,599
Wow.
1101
01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:04,936
-Did they also bring their balls?
-Yes, they have many, many balls.
1102
01:07:05,271 --> 01:07:07,439
This way please, for your private elevator.
1103
01:07:07,606 --> 01:07:09,983
-We have a private elevator?
-Apparently.
1104
01:07:25,082 --> 01:07:26,416
This can't be for us.
1105
01:07:26,584 --> 01:07:28,168
We must not be in the right place.
1106
01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:32,130
No, for once in my life,
I can say without a shadow of a doubt...
1107
01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:35,633
...I am in the exact right place.
1108
01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:40,847
Who ordered the cute?
1109
01:07:43,476 --> 01:07:45,143
Welcome to the Jewel Suite.
1110
01:07:45,603 --> 01:07:47,187
-Who is Miss Jones?
-I am.
1111
01:07:47,354 --> 01:07:49,481
We are thrilled to welcome you
and your guests.
1112
01:07:49,648 --> 01:07:51,566
-Thank you.
Abdul will be your butler...
1113
01:07:51,734 --> 01:07:53,276
-...Miss Jones.
-Mm.
1114
01:07:53,444 --> 01:07:55,320
-Miss Bradshaw?
-Oh, that's me.
1115
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:59,157
-I am Gaurau. I will be here to serve you.
-Thank you.
1116
01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:00,992
And Resir for Miss Hobbes.
1117
01:08:01,535 --> 01:08:03,161
It's "Hobbes."
1118
01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:04,871
I'm so very sorry.
1119
01:08:05,289 --> 01:08:06,748
No, it's--
1120
01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:08,917
It's not a big deal. It's fine.
1121
01:08:10,002 --> 01:08:11,336
And Adman for Miss York.
1122
01:08:13,005 --> 01:08:14,756
If you will, please, follow us.
1123
01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:19,552
-We each get our own butler?
-Makes sense, we each get our own car.
1124
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:23,306
Rotunda. Miss York, this way, if you will.
1125
01:08:24,308 --> 01:08:26,851
"York"? What happened to "Goldenblatt"?
1126
01:08:27,019 --> 01:08:29,687
-It's the Middle East.
-It's the new Middle East.
1127
01:08:29,855 --> 01:08:32,649
It's the Middle East.
1128
01:08:33,526 --> 01:08:36,694
This is the den.
Complete with its own private bar.
1129
01:08:36,862 --> 01:08:39,531
Ooh. Belly up, ladies.
1130
01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:45,411
There is also a private kitchen
available for you day and night.
1131
01:08:45,579 --> 01:08:48,039
Dream come true.
1132
01:08:48,499 --> 01:08:52,460
In here,
you will find your informal lounge.
1133
01:08:54,922 --> 01:08:57,298
Through there, the double boudoir.
1134
01:08:57,466 --> 01:08:58,508
-Roomies.
-Roomies.
1135
01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:01,886
And in here, the formal salon.
1136
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:09,561
And, ladies, out on the terrace...
1137
01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,442
...you have an overview
of the entire grounds.
1138
01:09:18,028 --> 01:09:22,240
There's also a bar pool,
five international restaurants, a spa...
1139
01:09:22,408 --> 01:09:24,117
...a fitness center, a nightclub...
1140
01:09:24,285 --> 01:09:26,744
...and, of course,
the beach and beach clubs.
1141
01:09:26,912 --> 01:09:30,957
I've taken the liberty of arranging massages
for you, followed by an early dinner.
1142
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:34,294
Then you can have a good night's rest
and wake up tomorrow fresh.
1143
01:09:34,461 --> 01:09:36,796
There's nothing I don't love
about everything you just said.
1144
01:09:38,799 --> 01:09:42,427
Here is Abdul with drinks.
If there is anything you need...
1145
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:46,848
...please do not hesitate to ask.
We are at your service.
1146
01:10:05,701 --> 01:10:08,453
MIRANDA:
The robes are called abayas...
1147
01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:12,498
...and the veil that covers everything
except the eyes is a niqab.
1148
01:10:12,666 --> 01:10:14,626
Certainly cuts back on the Botox bill.
1149
01:10:16,545 --> 01:10:21,799
"Women are required to dress in a way
that does not attract sexual attention."
1150
01:10:23,719 --> 01:10:25,470
Samantha, you gotta....
1151
01:10:25,638 --> 01:10:28,556
We're at the hotel. It's a free zone.
1152
01:10:28,724 --> 01:10:30,642
Still. Out of respect.
1153
01:10:32,728 --> 01:10:37,148
Well, I gotta say, I am digging the sequin
trim on the Real Housewife of Abu Dhabi.
1154
01:10:37,566 --> 01:10:38,816
What's up with that?
1155
01:10:38,984 --> 01:10:43,655
Younger Muslim women are embracing
old traditions in new and personal ways.
1156
01:10:44,698 --> 01:10:46,741
CARRIE:
Well, I could get into the head wrap...
1157
01:10:46,909 --> 01:10:50,828
...but the veil across the mouth,
it freaks me out.
1158
01:10:51,330 --> 01:10:53,498
It's like they don't want them
to have a voice.
1159
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:54,999
Yeah, or hormones.
1160
01:10:55,167 --> 01:10:58,878
I cannot find one Internet hormone site
that's not blocked.
1161
01:10:59,046 --> 01:11:01,005
At least you know your phone is working.
1162
01:11:01,173 --> 01:11:04,550
I can't get Harry to respond
to any of my texts and it's not like him.
1163
01:11:04,718 --> 01:11:09,013
-But you called him when you arrived, right?
-Yeah, but that was hours ago.
1164
01:11:13,143 --> 01:11:15,561
French fries for the lady with the veil.
1165
01:11:16,188 --> 01:11:18,523
How is she gonna do that?
1166
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:24,070
A lift for every fry.
1167
01:11:24,238 --> 01:11:26,364
That is a major commitment
to fried food.
1168
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,117
What time is it in New York now?
1169
01:11:29,702 --> 01:11:31,703
Okay. Sweetie, you gotta stop.
1170
01:11:31,870 --> 01:11:33,705
-What do you mean?
-You are obsessing...
1171
01:11:33,872 --> 01:11:37,709
...about something
that is happening 6700 miles away...
1172
01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:41,796
...and you're missing the woman with
the veil eating french fries at the next table.
1173
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:44,632
Consider this an interfriendtion.
1174
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:48,428
You have to stop obsessing
about the nanny.
1175
01:11:48,595 --> 01:11:50,555
Well, it is all Samantha's fault.
1176
01:11:50,723 --> 01:11:54,225
I was perfectly happy and then she went
and opened her big mouth.
1177
01:11:54,393 --> 01:11:56,185
Maybe we should get her a niqab.
1178
01:11:56,353 --> 01:11:58,771
Look, I warn you right now,
don't come down on me.
1179
01:11:58,939 --> 01:12:00,732
With the jet lag
and the no hormones...
1180
01:12:00,899 --> 01:12:04,027
...who knows what kind
of mood swings I'm capable of.
1181
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:09,073
I like the necklace.
1182
01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:11,075
Hi.
1183
01:13:03,170 --> 01:13:04,295
-Miss?
-Ah!
1184
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:06,214
Oh, God.
1185
01:13:07,674 --> 01:13:09,509
I'm so very sorry.
1186
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:13,513
It's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't--
1187
01:13:14,223 --> 01:13:16,140
I didn't expect you to still be here.
1188
01:13:16,308 --> 01:13:17,809
You did not dismiss me.
1189
01:13:17,976 --> 01:13:21,187
Oh. I was supposed to do that?
1190
01:13:22,022 --> 01:13:23,648
Oh.
1191
01:13:23,816 --> 01:13:25,483
I'm sorry, Gaurau, I didn't know.
1192
01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:28,528
It is my pleasure. What can I do for you?
1193
01:13:28,695 --> 01:13:32,115
Nothing, I was just gonna warm
some milk up, but you go, go home.
1194
01:13:32,282 --> 01:13:34,367
No, no, allow me, please. I insist.
1195
01:13:36,787 --> 01:13:37,870
I will bring it to you.
1196
01:13:38,038 --> 01:13:39,997
Oh, you don't have to. I'll wait.
1197
01:13:50,175 --> 01:13:53,886
If you will permit me,
might I suggest a touch of cinnamon?
1198
01:13:54,805 --> 01:13:56,556
It is a secret learned from my wife.
1199
01:13:58,183 --> 01:14:02,228
Well, please apologize to your wife
for my keeping you here all night.
1200
01:14:02,396 --> 01:14:04,522
It is fine. She is in India.
1201
01:14:04,690 --> 01:14:06,399
Oh.
1202
01:14:06,567 --> 01:14:07,984
I will see her in one month.
1203
01:14:08,152 --> 01:14:11,696
I'm afraid if I apologize then,
it will hardly make sense.
1204
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:17,034
So you work here
and you travel back and forth?
1205
01:14:17,202 --> 01:14:22,623
Yes. Every three months, when I have a
break in work and can afford the plane fare.
1206
01:14:25,711 --> 01:14:26,878
Isn’t that hard?
1207
01:14:28,046 --> 01:14:29,213
What, miss?
1208
01:14:29,548 --> 01:14:33,634
Just, you know, being married
and spending all that time apart.
1209
01:14:36,221 --> 01:14:38,181
Time does not matter.
1210
01:14:38,348 --> 01:14:41,893
When we see each other, each time...
1211
01:14:42,561 --> 01:14:43,644
...it is very wonderful.
1212
01:14:45,939 --> 01:14:48,065
I'm a lucky man.
1213
01:14:53,739 --> 01:14:57,783
Okay, now I'm gonna try
one of these little date confections.
1214
01:15:05,584 --> 01:15:07,627
I think my butler's gay.
1215
01:15:07,794 --> 01:15:10,505
-First, he's way too cute.
-That's genetics.
1216
01:15:10,672 --> 01:15:13,591
I asked about his dating life
and he said it was private.
1217
01:15:13,759 --> 01:15:15,134
That's appropriate.
1218
01:15:15,302 --> 01:15:18,262
When I asked how to pronounce
his name he said:
1219
01:15:18,430 --> 01:15:20,765
"Abdul. Like Paula."
1220
01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:23,976
-And that's gay.
-Yeah.
1221
01:15:24,144 --> 01:15:26,103
-Morning.
-Morning.
1222
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:27,939
-Morning.
-How'd you sleep?
1223
01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:29,941
All right.
1224
01:15:31,652 --> 01:15:33,778
-Samantha, what are you eating?
-Mm. Hummus.
1225
01:15:34,404 --> 01:15:38,449
I read online that chickpeas are high
in natural estrogen.
1226
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:41,452
So are yams.
Paula Abdul's getting me some later.
1227
01:15:42,329 --> 01:15:44,205
Is she here too?
1228
01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:49,126
Good morning, miss.
What can we bring you for breakfast?
1229
01:15:49,628 --> 01:15:51,128
Just some fruit, please.
1230
01:15:51,296 --> 01:15:53,047
Thank you.
1231
01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:56,175
He is so nice. What's his name again?
1232
01:15:56,343 --> 01:15:57,718
Gaurau.
1233
01:15:57,886 --> 01:16:01,472
He's from India.
His wife still lives there.
1234
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,976
They only see each other once
every three months when they can afford it.
1235
01:16:05,143 --> 01:16:09,313
And I asked him if that was hard
for them and he said:
1236
01:16:09,481 --> 01:16:11,107
"Time doesn't matter."
1237
01:16:11,275 --> 01:16:15,152
That each time they see each other
it's wonderful.
1238
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,823
So, see, there are all kinds
of marriages.
1239
01:16:27,082 --> 01:16:29,917
Who's up for a morning trip
to the souk in Old Abu Dhabi?
1240
01:16:30,085 --> 01:16:31,127
What's a souk?
1241
01:16:31,295 --> 01:16:34,380
It's a market where you can buy
gold, spices...
1242
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:36,507
...textiles and souk things.
1243
01:16:36,675 --> 01:16:39,176
I'm in. One sip then souk.
1244
01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:44,098
Wow.
1245
01:16:44,266 --> 01:16:48,019
-Oh, it's so beautiful.
-We'll be back in time for lunch.
1246
01:16:48,687 --> 01:16:51,063
-Thank you, Gaurau.
-Thank you, Resir.
1247
01:16:51,231 --> 01:16:53,024
Got it.
1248
01:16:59,489 --> 01:17:01,782
You must not have
a forbidden experience.
1249
01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:03,534
Oh, okay.
1250
01:17:03,702 --> 01:17:06,078
Men may approach you
with black-market wristwatches.
1251
01:17:06,246 --> 01:17:10,374
If you engage them, they'll move you to a
room and try to sell you items. It is illegal.
1252
01:17:10,542 --> 01:17:14,503
Other than that, you'll not have to worry.
People here are very honest.
1253
01:17:15,130 --> 01:17:16,714
Driver.
1254
01:17:58,423 --> 01:18:01,008
Mm. Smells so good.
-Yeah.
1255
01:18:06,723 --> 01:18:07,765
Ladies.
1256
01:18:07,933 --> 01:18:11,102
-Forbidden experience coming at you.
-Ladies. Ladies.
1257
01:18:11,269 --> 01:18:12,603
-No, no.
-Ladies.
1258
01:18:13,939 --> 01:18:15,439
No.
1259
01:18:17,442 --> 01:18:18,609
Oh.
1260
01:18:18,777 --> 01:18:21,028
And from the forbidden to the necessary.
1261
01:18:21,405 --> 01:18:22,613
I'll be going there.
1262
01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:26,826
Of course you will. I'm going back
for more spices. I don't think I got enough.
1263
01:18:26,993 --> 01:18:28,661
Okay.
1264
01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:37,962
These are very pretty.
1265
01:18:38,130 --> 01:18:39,171
Do you speak English?
1266
01:18:39,339 --> 01:18:41,132
Yes.
1267
01:18:45,846 --> 01:18:49,140
May I try this? Thank you.
1268
01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:52,560
Let me just get them....
1269
01:18:54,980 --> 01:18:56,355
Oh, thank you.
1270
01:19:00,485 --> 01:19:02,778
So, yes, yes.
1271
01:19:03,321 --> 01:19:04,822
I'll take them.
1272
01:19:04,990 --> 01:19:06,866
Thank you.
1273
01:19:07,409 --> 01:19:09,827
So pretty.
1274
01:19:13,957 --> 01:19:15,040
Just....
1275
01:19:16,001 --> 01:19:17,084
Thank you.
1276
01:19:17,252 --> 01:19:19,712
So, for this, how much?
1277
01:19:19,880 --> 01:19:21,672
One hundred dirham.
1278
01:19:24,301 --> 01:19:26,177
-Twenty dollars?
-Yes.
1279
01:19:27,179 --> 01:19:29,680
-For shoes?
-Yes.
1280
01:19:30,891 --> 01:19:32,975
Okay, thank you.
1281
01:19:34,686 --> 01:19:37,980
That's 100. Thank you.
1282
01:19:38,815 --> 01:19:41,650
Oh, you know what,
I'll just put the shoes in my purse.
1283
01:19:41,818 --> 01:19:44,653
Okay. I'm just gonna make room.
1284
01:19:53,538 --> 01:19:55,247
Is that the call to prayer?
1285
01:19:55,415 --> 01:19:57,374
Yes.
1286
01:20:13,391 --> 01:20:17,603
And there, in the middle of Old Abu Dhabi,
was an old love.
1287
01:20:17,771 --> 01:20:19,772
-The guy hid them back there--
-Aidan.
1288
01:20:49,177 --> 01:20:51,345
This is the best mirage that I've ever had.
1289
01:20:52,681 --> 01:20:56,183
And I did some peyote once in Arizona
that blew my head off.
1290
01:20:57,185 --> 01:20:59,061
Come here, you.
1291
01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:02,940
Is this allowed here?
1292
01:21:04,317 --> 01:21:05,442
What the--?
1293
01:21:05,610 --> 01:21:08,863
Abu Dhabi? What? You? Why?
1294
01:21:09,030 --> 01:21:14,660
Well, I heard
about this amazing deal on shoes.
1295
01:21:15,370 --> 01:21:18,122
No, I'm here with the girls.
1296
01:21:18,290 --> 01:21:21,959
Yeah, Samantha worked us all in
on her free PR trip.
1297
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:24,295
And you? What...?
1298
01:21:24,462 --> 01:21:28,591
I'm on the third leg of a buying trip.
Bali, India, here.
1299
01:21:28,758 --> 01:21:31,010
Yeah, I import rugs to sell
with the furniture...
1300
01:21:31,177 --> 01:21:34,221
...and I'm talking like I don't know you.
Come here again.
1301
01:21:34,389 --> 01:21:36,307
Holy moly.
1302
01:21:43,356 --> 01:21:47,818
You know,
Miranda's here with me, so, I don't--
1303
01:21:47,986 --> 01:21:51,697
Shall we grab a kebab or a whatever?
1304
01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:56,577
Shoot. I have to eat lunch
with my business partners.
1305
01:21:57,329 --> 01:22:02,750
And they don't cotton to the ladies
at the lunches.
1306
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:05,377
I knew I should've packed my burqa.
1307
01:22:06,212 --> 01:22:09,298
We're going to a different city after lunch.
I'll be back tomorrow.
1308
01:22:09,466 --> 01:22:11,759
Can I take you out to dinner,
just you and me?
1309
01:22:11,927 --> 01:22:13,761
Oh. Uh....
1310
01:22:13,929 --> 01:22:16,388
Well, I don't really know
what the girls have planned.
1311
01:22:16,556 --> 01:22:18,849
You know,
Miranda's got us scheduled pretty....
1312
01:22:19,017 --> 01:22:22,186
It's okay. Look, if you have the time...
1313
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:26,815
...the locals say that the restaurant at
my hotel has the best muhammara in town.
1314
01:22:26,983 --> 01:22:28,859
That's my international cell.
1315
01:22:29,027 --> 01:22:31,362
International cell.
1316
01:22:31,780 --> 01:22:34,031
Look at you, all grown-up.
1317
01:22:35,450 --> 01:22:37,201
I should get going.
1318
01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:39,411
They consider it rude
to keep people waiting here.
1319
01:22:43,708 --> 01:22:45,459
Bye.
1320
01:22:48,088 --> 01:22:51,256
They also consider it rude
not to call an old boyfriend for dinner.
1321
01:22:56,429 --> 01:22:58,305
Carrie!
1322
01:22:58,890 --> 01:23:00,557
How weird is this?
1323
01:23:03,186 --> 01:23:05,229
How did he look?
1324
01:23:05,730 --> 01:23:08,107
Like no time had gone by.
1325
01:23:08,900 --> 01:23:11,318
-Did you tell him you and Big got married?
CARRIE: Yes.
1326
01:23:11,486 --> 01:23:13,445
Those were the first words
out of my mouth.
1327
01:23:13,613 --> 01:23:16,407
"Hey, we're here in Abu Dhabi
and I married that man you hated."
1328
01:23:18,076 --> 01:23:20,411
-Is he still married?
-I have no idea.
1329
01:23:20,578 --> 01:23:22,204
Was he wearing a wedding ring?
1330
01:23:22,372 --> 01:23:23,747
I believe he was.
1331
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:28,168
-Are you gonna have dinner with him?
-We're here to spend time together.
1332
01:23:28,336 --> 01:23:30,754
-Just the four of us.
-Right.
1333
01:23:32,757 --> 01:23:35,509
-Um, legs.
-Miranda, I'm at the pool.
1334
01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:38,595
-What am I supposed to wear?
-How about a burkini?
1335
01:23:40,765 --> 01:23:42,766
Yeah, they have them at the gift shop.
1336
01:23:42,934 --> 01:23:44,435
Forget about them.
1337
01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:46,770
Look.
1338
01:23:46,938 --> 01:23:50,774
Arriving at the pool,
direct from a sweaty practice match:
1339
01:23:50,942 --> 01:23:52,609
The Australian rugby team.
1340
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:56,321
Who ordered the Aussie sausage?
1341
01:24:11,379 --> 01:24:12,463
This is a disaster.
1342
01:24:13,214 --> 01:24:15,716
I have a whole pool of testosterone
from down under...
1343
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:18,052
...and I'm not feeling anything
down under.
1344
01:24:18,845 --> 01:24:22,639
It's official.
The estrogen has left the building.
1345
01:24:22,807 --> 01:24:25,309
Okay, I am pulling an interfriendtion.
1346
01:24:25,477 --> 01:24:27,352
If I can't talk anymore about Harry...
1347
01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,813
...then she can't talk anymore
about hormones.
1348
01:24:30,774 --> 01:24:33,859
I can't eat any more yams.
1349
01:24:34,194 --> 01:24:35,235
Couldn't hurt.
1350
01:24:35,403 --> 01:24:39,073
Ladies, we came here
to have fun together.
1351
01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:41,742
And I, being the type-A
control freak that I am...
1352
01:24:41,910 --> 01:24:46,497
...have planned a full day and night
of big Abu Dhabi fun.
1353
01:24:46,664 --> 01:24:48,874
I am gonna turn this interfriendtion...
1354
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:52,002
...into an interfuntion.
1355
01:24:58,176 --> 01:24:59,218
Still nothing.
1356
01:25:44,222 --> 01:25:45,472
Thank you.
1357
01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:47,933
Thank you, Gaurau.
1358
01:25:52,522 --> 01:25:55,399
-Oh, my.
-You said we were going to lunch.
1359
01:25:55,567 --> 01:25:58,569
We are. Camels, then lunch. It'll be fun.
1360
01:25:58,945 --> 01:26:00,487
Not to not be fun...
1361
01:26:00,655 --> 01:26:03,740
...but I'm not really dressed
to get on a camel.
1362
01:26:03,908 --> 01:26:04,908
I've got that covered.
1363
01:26:07,871 --> 01:26:09,830
-What?
-Gift of the hotel.
1364
01:26:09,998 --> 01:26:13,250
And don't worry,
I had Abdul pick them out.
1365
01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:17,254
Serious?
1366
01:26:18,006 --> 01:26:21,466
-Care to change in the Bedouin tent?
-Bedouin, Bath and Beyond.
1367
01:26:22,177 --> 01:26:23,635
Still nothing.
1368
01:26:23,803 --> 01:26:26,263
CARRIE:
Thank you, Gaurau, yes.
1369
01:26:26,431 --> 01:26:29,308
-This is very exciting suddenly.
-Help. Wait, wait. Help.
1370
01:26:29,475 --> 01:26:31,602
Heels. Sand. Hot.
1371
01:27:32,747 --> 01:27:34,998
-I'm having a hot flash.
-You're fine.
1372
01:27:35,166 --> 01:27:37,042
Seriously, they're starting.
1373
01:27:37,210 --> 01:27:39,628
Look, you're on a camel
in the middle of the desert.
1374
01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:41,880
If you're not having a hot flash,
you're dead.
1375
01:27:42,048 --> 01:27:44,424
-What do you think?
-This is fabulous.
1376
01:27:45,760 --> 01:27:47,427
There's my phone. Oh, my God.
It's my phone.
1377
01:27:47,595 --> 01:27:49,513
Who's her long distance provider?
1378
01:27:50,807 --> 01:27:53,350
Hello, Harry? What have you been doing?
1379
01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:57,062
I woke you up? Harry, wait.
You're going in and out.
1380
01:27:58,064 --> 01:27:59,231
Can you hear me now?
1381
01:27:59,607 --> 01:28:00,732
Harry?
1382
01:28:00,900 --> 01:28:02,192
Miranda, I'm falling!
1383
01:28:03,194 --> 01:28:04,778
Sir, she's falling!
1384
01:28:05,697 --> 01:28:07,447
Are you okay?
1385
01:28:07,615 --> 01:28:08,865
-Thank you.
-It's okay.
1386
01:28:09,033 --> 01:28:10,284
Are you all right?
1387
01:28:10,451 --> 01:28:12,411
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1388
01:28:14,080 --> 01:28:15,455
Oh.
1389
01:28:15,623 --> 01:28:18,875
Wow, you have an actual
camel camel-toe.
1390
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:24,089
Oh, it's not that funny.
1391
01:28:24,549 --> 01:28:26,216
She's having a little sand wedge.
1392
01:28:29,220 --> 01:28:30,887
Harry? Hi!
1393
01:28:31,055 --> 01:28:33,432
Harry, are you there?
I just fell off a camel.
1394
01:28:33,599 --> 01:28:34,850
Thank you, sir.
1395
01:28:35,018 --> 01:28:36,893
Did you get my texts?
1396
01:28:38,646 --> 01:28:43,066
It is amazing how much food and clothing
four butlers can fit into four Maybachs.
1397
01:28:43,234 --> 01:28:45,235
-Thanks.
-Enjoy.
1398
01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:48,572
Gorgeous.
1399
01:28:48,740 --> 01:28:51,742
To Fouad and Marzouk and--
1400
01:28:51,909 --> 01:28:53,910
-Hatimi.
-Hatimi.
1401
01:28:54,078 --> 01:28:55,078
-Yes.
-Thank you.
1402
01:29:10,053 --> 01:29:12,512
My apologies, ladies,
for disturbing your fun.
1403
01:29:13,222 --> 01:29:17,142
Gaurau, my friend, if you would do me
the kindness of calling the hotel...
1404
01:29:17,310 --> 01:29:20,520
...telling them I'll be an hour or two late.
1405
01:29:20,688 --> 01:29:22,397
My pleasure, sir.
1406
01:29:22,565 --> 01:29:24,691
What's the sense
in a boring business dinner...
1407
01:29:24,859 --> 01:29:27,110
...when you have sand dunes
and sunset?
1408
01:29:28,446 --> 01:29:29,529
Am I right?
1409
01:29:54,263 --> 01:29:55,722
You all saw that, right?
1410
01:29:55,890 --> 01:29:56,973
Well, I sure did.
1411
01:29:57,600 --> 01:29:58,975
Who's Lawrence of Arabia?
1412
01:29:59,143 --> 01:30:02,646
He's a Danish architect who stays
at the hotel each time he's in Abu Dhabi.
1413
01:30:02,814 --> 01:30:05,816
-Very nice man.
-Very hot man.
1414
01:30:05,983 --> 01:30:10,404
Well, ladies, I am definitely feeling
something down under.
1415
01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:13,990
-No, don't, don't.
-And he's staying at our hotel.
1416
01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:17,494
Lawrence of my labia.
1417
01:30:27,505 --> 01:30:31,091
It feels like the first time
1418
01:30:31,259 --> 01:30:35,637
It feels like the very first time
1419
01:30:35,805 --> 01:30:40,016
It feels like the first time
1420
01:30:40,184 --> 01:30:43,687
It feels like the very first time
1421
01:30:51,028 --> 01:30:53,572
Karaoke in the U.S., tired.
1422
01:30:53,739 --> 01:30:56,700
Karaoke in the Middle East, fresh.
1423
01:30:57,285 --> 01:31:01,788
Now, why are those women allowed
to show their bellies and chests?
1424
01:31:01,956 --> 01:31:06,209
Well, from my research, there's some
kind of nightclub-belly-dancer loophole.
1425
01:31:06,377 --> 01:31:10,213
Oh, those clever religious men.
1426
01:31:10,381 --> 01:31:13,300
Oh, excuse me. I mean, marhaba.
1427
01:31:18,306 --> 01:31:21,057
Okay. Could we get another round
of champagne?
1428
01:31:21,225 --> 01:31:22,267
-Okay.
-Okay.
1429
01:31:22,435 --> 01:31:23,810
Shukran very much.
1430
01:31:23,978 --> 01:31:27,063
Another round?
You are fun in Abu Dhabi.
1431
01:31:27,231 --> 01:31:29,483
-I'm fun in New York.
-Not for the last two years.
1432
01:31:29,650 --> 01:31:33,320
Oh, really?
You think I'm fun now? Just wait.
1433
01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:37,657
It feels like the very first time
1434
01:31:38,159 --> 01:31:39,242
Give it up, people.
1435
01:31:39,410 --> 01:31:43,580
Give it up, Abu Dhabi.
He's working hard, hard, hard for you.
1436
01:31:44,415 --> 01:31:47,751
Next we have four girls from America.
1437
01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:51,421
Ladies, you have to come
to the stage now, please, oh.
1438
01:31:51,797 --> 01:31:55,800
-Put your hands together. Let's go.
-It'll be fun. It'll be fun. Come on, come on.
1439
01:31:55,968 --> 01:31:57,636
We are waiting for you, America.
1440
01:31:58,679 --> 01:32:00,889
What song did you pick?
What if I don't know it?
1441
01:32:01,057 --> 01:32:03,934
-Trust me, you know the song.
-Are those ours?
1442
01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:06,520
They're going to sing for us.
1443
01:32:11,609 --> 01:32:12,609
I am w--
1444
01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:15,529
-No, no, no. Not yet.
-Wait for it.
1445
01:32:16,030 --> 01:32:17,239
Now. Now we come in.
1446
01:32:17,406 --> 01:32:19,616
I am woman, hear me roar
1447
01:32:19,784 --> 01:32:22,786
In numbers too big to ignore
1448
01:32:22,954 --> 01:32:28,375
And I know too much
To go back and pretend
1449
01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:31,127
'Cause I've heard it all before
1450
01:32:31,295 --> 01:32:34,130
And I've been down there on that floor
1451
01:32:34,298 --> 01:32:39,427
And no one's ever gonna
Keep me down again
1452
01:32:39,595 --> 01:32:43,056
No
Yes, I am wise
1453
01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:46,142
But it's wisdom born of pain
1454
01:32:46,310 --> 01:32:48,520
Yes, I paid the price
1455
01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:50,981
But look how much I've gained
1456
01:32:51,148 --> 01:32:56,486
If I have to
I can do anything
1457
01:32:56,654 --> 01:32:59,155
I am strong
Strong
1458
01:32:59,323 --> 01:33:02,826
I am invincible
Invincible
1459
01:33:02,994 --> 01:33:07,038
I am woman
1460
01:33:07,748 --> 01:33:10,333
-Pretty good, huh?
-Yeah.
1461
01:33:11,002 --> 01:33:13,128
Everyone!
1462
01:33:14,380 --> 01:33:16,256
Standing toe to toe
1463
01:33:16,424 --> 01:33:22,053
As I spread my loving arms
Across the land
1464
01:33:22,221 --> 01:33:25,348
I am still an embryo
1465
01:33:25,516 --> 01:33:27,851
With a long, long way to go
1466
01:33:28,019 --> 01:33:33,356
Until I make my brother understand
1467
01:33:33,524 --> 01:33:36,151
Oh, yes
I am wise
1468
01:33:36,319 --> 01:33:38,903
But it's wisdom born of pain
1469
01:33:39,071 --> 01:33:41,698
Yes, I've paid the price
1470
01:33:41,866 --> 01:33:44,951
But look how much I've gained
1471
01:33:45,119 --> 01:33:50,206
If I have to
I can do anything
1472
01:33:50,374 --> 01:33:52,917
I am strong
Strong
1473
01:33:53,085 --> 01:33:55,920
I am invincible
Invincible
1474
01:33:56,088 --> 01:33:58,298
I am strong
Strong
1475
01:33:58,466 --> 01:34:01,593
I am invincible
Invincible
1476
01:34:01,761 --> 01:34:07,098
I am woman
1477
01:34:13,230 --> 01:34:16,107
Those are the American women.
I heard them roar.
1478
01:34:16,275 --> 01:34:17,942
Oh, my goodness.
1479
01:34:19,779 --> 01:34:24,407
I am a woman
1480
01:34:25,493 --> 01:34:29,496
I got that table
1481
01:34:42,677 --> 01:34:46,304
-That was quite a performance.
-Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.
1482
01:34:47,515 --> 01:34:49,265
Hello again.
-Hi.
1483
01:34:49,433 --> 01:34:52,936
Allow me to properly introduce myself.
My name is Rikard Spirt.
1484
01:34:53,104 --> 01:34:55,271
Rikard. Isn’t that "Richard"?
1485
01:34:55,439 --> 01:34:58,942
-In Danish, yes.
-So your name is Dick Spirt?
1486
01:35:01,278 --> 01:35:03,530
Could you be any more American?
1487
01:35:03,698 --> 01:35:04,989
I don't think so.
1488
01:35:07,993 --> 01:35:09,661
Care to join me for a drink?
1489
01:35:09,829 --> 01:35:13,456
Oh, I can't tonight. It's girls' night out.
1490
01:35:13,624 --> 01:35:15,834
But I do have tomorrow free...
1491
01:35:16,001 --> 01:35:18,002
...all day and night.
1492
01:35:18,170 --> 01:35:21,506
Perhaps you'd be open for a late dinner.
1493
01:35:23,843 --> 01:35:25,051
I'd be open.
1494
01:35:27,096 --> 01:35:28,388
You're very funny...
1495
01:35:29,140 --> 01:35:30,557
...Samantha.
1496
01:35:30,725 --> 01:35:33,393
-Ladies.
-Good night.
1497
01:35:35,479 --> 01:35:36,813
Wow.
1498
01:35:37,148 --> 01:35:38,690
I gotta hand it to you, Samantha.
1499
01:35:38,858 --> 01:35:42,444
Not blowing us off for a guy
in your condition...
1500
01:35:42,611 --> 01:35:44,028
...very classy.
1501
01:35:44,196 --> 01:35:46,781
Well, we made a deal ages ago.
1502
01:35:46,949 --> 01:35:49,784
Men, babies, doesn't matter.
1503
01:35:49,952 --> 01:35:51,202
We're soul mates.
1504
01:35:53,456 --> 01:35:57,459
It was the perfect end to a perfect day.
1505
01:36:05,426 --> 01:36:07,343
-Good morning.
-Good morning, miss.
1506
01:36:07,511 --> 01:36:10,513
-Where is everyone?
-Oh, they're having breakfast on the terrace.
1507
01:36:15,895 --> 01:36:17,604
Is this Samantha's? May I?
1508
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:19,022
As you wish.
1509
01:36:19,190 --> 01:36:20,398
Thanks.
1510
01:36:32,036 --> 01:36:37,040
"And on and on, one by one, she
lampoons the traditional wedding vows."
1511
01:36:37,208 --> 01:36:38,583
Yeah. It's a satire.
1512
01:36:38,751 --> 01:36:39,918
And it's hilarious.
1513
01:36:40,753 --> 01:36:46,466
"Until the talented Bradshaw is better able
to grasp the complexities of married life...
1514
01:36:47,092 --> 01:36:49,052
...she would be better advised...
1515
01:36:49,220 --> 01:36:52,388
...to explore the vow of silence."
1516
01:36:52,556 --> 01:36:53,556
Ugh!
1517
01:36:53,724 --> 01:36:56,059
And he would be better advised
to go fuck himself.
1518
01:36:56,227 --> 01:36:57,769
God.
1519
01:36:57,937 --> 01:37:00,021
The New Yorker.
1520
01:37:00,189 --> 01:37:04,776
I have been carrying it around
in my purse for 20 years.
1521
01:37:05,486 --> 01:37:08,279
And to make it worse,
they turned me into a cartoon...
1522
01:37:08,447 --> 01:37:10,615
...and slapped tape across my mouth.
1523
01:37:10,783 --> 01:37:11,908
Take it as a compliment.
1524
01:37:12,076 --> 01:37:15,495
You have a strong female voice
and this guy is intimidated.
1525
01:37:16,747 --> 01:37:20,792
You know, I'm just realizing, it wasn't
my tone of voice that my boss didn't like.
1526
01:37:20,960 --> 01:37:22,919
It was the fact that I had a voice.
1527
01:37:23,420 --> 01:37:26,381
Men in the U.S. pretend they're comfortable
with strong women...
1528
01:37:26,549 --> 01:37:30,343
...but really, a lot of them would prefer us
eating french fries behind our veils.
1529
01:37:30,511 --> 01:37:32,554
-Word.
-I should've just stuck to writing...
1530
01:37:32,721 --> 01:37:35,014
...about what I know: Being single.
1531
01:37:35,182 --> 01:37:36,516
But you're not.
1532
01:37:36,684 --> 01:37:38,685
No, I'm married,
and Big wants two days off.
1533
01:37:38,853 --> 01:37:40,687
-I thought you both wanted--
-Charlotte.
1534
01:37:41,897 --> 01:37:45,108
Well, there'll be other reviews.
Fabulous reviews.
1535
01:37:45,526 --> 01:37:48,319
No. But right now,
I need you to go shopping.
1536
01:37:48,779 --> 01:37:50,864
We have to find me something
for my date.
1537
01:37:51,031 --> 01:37:54,492
Something sexy that doesn't show
my tits, arms or belly.
1538
01:37:55,870 --> 01:37:58,121
-I think I'm gonna take a walk.
-What about our spa day?
1539
01:37:58,289 --> 01:38:01,207
I'm not in the mood. Not in the mood.
But you guys go, have fun.
1540
01:38:01,375 --> 01:38:03,126
Okay, I'll see you later.
1541
01:38:04,628 --> 01:38:06,546
-You sure?
-Yeah.
1542
01:38:07,131 --> 01:38:10,133
-We have dinner reservations at 8.
-Yeah.
1543
01:38:14,638 --> 01:38:16,055
Miss?
1544
01:38:16,223 --> 01:38:18,141
I'm going out.
1545
01:38:20,811 --> 01:38:23,521
I don't know how she got ahold of it.
1546
01:38:23,898 --> 01:38:25,815
No more yams.
1547
01:38:38,746 --> 01:38:40,663
Is there anything you'd like to do, miss?
1548
01:38:40,831 --> 01:38:42,832
No, thank you.
1549
01:38:45,419 --> 01:38:48,087
I think I'm gonna walk ahead, by myself.
1550
01:38:54,219 --> 01:38:57,430
I walked along the Abu Dhabi beach.
1551
01:38:58,182 --> 01:39:01,935
I had never felt so far away from home.
1552
01:39:02,728 --> 01:39:05,605
Or from myself.
1553
01:39:43,811 --> 01:39:45,228
-Hi.
-Hi.
1554
01:39:45,396 --> 01:39:47,438
We missed you at the spa.
How was your day?
1555
01:39:47,606 --> 01:39:50,066
-It was good.
-Wow, you look great.
1556
01:39:50,776 --> 01:39:52,568
I'm meeting Aidan for dinner.
1557
01:39:53,028 --> 01:39:56,364
Oh, okay.
We'll change our reservation to 5, then.
1558
01:39:56,532 --> 01:39:59,158
No, we're okay with four.
Samantha's got that late date.
1559
01:39:59,326 --> 01:40:02,245
Not necessary,
because we're having dinner at his hotel.
1560
01:40:02,913 --> 01:40:03,997
At his hotel.
1561
01:40:04,164 --> 01:40:06,791
Yeah. There's a great Middle Eastern
place there.
1562
01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:10,753
It has the best, I don't know, something.
1563
01:40:11,213 --> 01:40:14,924
-Why are you having dinner with him?
-How can I not have dinner with him?
1564
01:40:15,092 --> 01:40:18,261
We bump into each other
halfway around the world?
1565
01:40:18,429 --> 01:40:21,264
-I mean, it means something.
-It doesn't mean anything.
1566
01:40:22,516 --> 01:40:23,766
Are you serious?
1567
01:40:23,934 --> 01:40:28,438
You have been saying that everything
means something for the last 20 years.
1568
01:40:28,605 --> 01:40:32,942
But seeing Aidan at a spice souk
in the Middle East means nothing.
1569
01:40:34,778 --> 01:40:36,696
I think you're playing with fire.
1570
01:40:36,864 --> 01:40:41,117
Oh, my God. Now I'm playing with fire?
All right, you've gone crazy.
1571
01:40:41,285 --> 01:40:44,537
Seriously, you're crazy in Abu Dhabi.
1572
01:40:44,705 --> 01:40:48,875
Just because you're worried about
your marriage, everyone's gonna cheat.
1573
01:40:49,043 --> 01:40:50,376
Have a good time at dinner.
1574
01:40:54,048 --> 01:40:55,548
You okay?
1575
01:40:55,716 --> 01:40:59,177
Yeah. I'm just really, really tired.
I'm gonna take a nap.
1576
01:40:59,344 --> 01:41:01,137
Take a nice, long nap.
1577
01:41:01,305 --> 01:41:04,182
And then I'll buy you a drink.
How's 9 sound?
1578
01:41:05,309 --> 01:41:06,809
-Okay.
-Okay.
1579
01:41:23,619 --> 01:41:25,286
Hi.
1580
01:41:26,997 --> 01:41:28,581
Hi.
1581
01:41:32,961 --> 01:41:34,003
Miss Hobbes.
1582
01:41:34,171 --> 01:41:37,840
I thought,
"Why go to a bar when we have a bar?"
1583
01:41:38,675 --> 01:41:40,384
Thank you.
1584
01:41:41,720 --> 01:41:43,513
Thank you, Resir. You can go.
1585
01:41:45,182 --> 01:41:46,390
How was your nap?
1586
01:41:46,558 --> 01:41:47,683
I slept hard.
1587
01:41:47,851 --> 01:41:51,187
You needed it.
Being a mother kicks your ass.
1588
01:41:51,355 --> 01:41:54,524
Yes, but the benefits make it worth it.
1589
01:41:58,362 --> 01:41:59,946
Okay.
1590
01:42:01,698 --> 01:42:05,785
-We're 6700 miles away from everyone.
-Mm-hm.
1591
01:42:05,953 --> 01:42:09,247
-You can say it to me. I'm a mother too.
-Say what?
1592
01:42:09,414 --> 01:42:13,626
All the things you're thinking, but you
won't allow yourself to say out loud.
1593
01:42:14,128 --> 01:42:16,212
Okay. I'll go first.
1594
01:42:18,882 --> 01:42:21,342
As much as I love Brady...
1595
01:42:21,510 --> 01:42:25,096
...and I do love him more than words...
1596
01:42:25,889 --> 01:42:29,475
...being a mother is not enough.
1597
01:42:30,936 --> 01:42:32,228
I miss my job.
1598
01:42:36,191 --> 01:42:40,236
You're not gonna leave me hanging out
feeling like the worst mother, are you?
1599
01:42:40,404 --> 01:42:42,071
Okay.
1600
01:42:45,450 --> 01:42:47,034
Well....
1601
01:42:48,745 --> 01:42:51,539
-I love my girls.
-I know that.
1602
01:42:51,707 --> 01:42:53,124
But...
1603
01:42:54,084 --> 01:42:57,670
...I have enjoyed not having them around.
1604
01:42:58,005 --> 01:43:00,506
-I needed a break.
-Yes, you did.
1605
01:43:01,508 --> 01:43:06,304
Rose cries all day, every day.
1606
01:43:06,471 --> 01:43:08,139
It's driving me crazy.
1607
01:43:08,307 --> 01:43:11,100
I have been watching you.
I don't know how you're doing it.
1608
01:43:11,268 --> 01:43:14,604
Sometimes I go in the other room
and I close the door...
1609
01:43:14,771 --> 01:43:17,106
...and I just let her scream.
Isn’t that awful?
1610
01:43:17,274 --> 01:43:19,525
No, that's survival. Take a sip.
1611
01:43:23,780 --> 01:43:25,448
And can I tell you something else?
1612
01:43:25,616 --> 01:43:26,699
I feel guilty.
1613
01:43:26,867 --> 01:43:30,703
I feel so guilty, because all I ever prayed
for was to have a family.
1614
01:43:30,871 --> 01:43:33,456
And now I have these two beautiful girls.
1615
01:43:33,624 --> 01:43:34,790
And?
1616
01:43:34,958 --> 01:43:38,794
-They're driving me crazy.
-Take a sip.
1617
01:43:41,840 --> 01:43:43,633
And I feel like I'm failing.
1618
01:43:43,800 --> 01:43:46,844
I just feel like I'm failing all the time.
1619
01:43:47,012 --> 01:43:48,137
You're not failing.
1620
01:43:48,305 --> 01:43:50,139
Being a mother is hard.
1621
01:43:50,307 --> 01:43:52,391
Oh, my God. It is so hard.
1622
01:43:52,935 --> 01:43:54,977
And I have full-time help.
1623
01:43:55,145 --> 01:43:57,980
How do the women without help do it?
1624
01:43:58,148 --> 01:44:00,900
I have no fucking idea.
1625
01:44:01,360 --> 01:44:03,319
-To them.
-To them.
1626
01:44:06,323 --> 01:44:07,657
And when I--
1627
01:44:07,824 --> 01:44:10,201
Oh, no, I can't. I can't. It's awful.
1628
01:44:10,369 --> 01:44:11,494
Sip.
1629
01:44:14,414 --> 01:44:15,957
Go.
1630
01:44:17,084 --> 01:44:19,919
When I heard Samantha say...
1631
01:44:20,087 --> 01:44:23,047
...that Harry was gonna cheat on me
with Erin--
1632
01:44:23,215 --> 01:44:24,757
Yeah.
1633
01:44:24,925 --> 01:44:28,261
--my first thought was:
1634
01:44:28,762 --> 01:44:30,763
"I can't lose the nanny."
1635
01:44:37,562 --> 01:44:40,648
We really should eat something.
1636
01:44:46,029 --> 01:44:49,198
I'm happy for you. For both of you.
1637
01:44:49,866 --> 01:44:51,784
Thank you.
1638
01:44:52,452 --> 01:44:53,577
That means a lot.
1639
01:44:55,580 --> 01:44:58,374
I have a confession to make.
1640
01:44:59,084 --> 01:45:00,584
I already knew you were married.
1641
01:45:01,253 --> 01:45:03,963
You let me go through all that?
1642
01:45:05,048 --> 01:45:08,259
Yeah, my wife showed me something
on the internet.
1643
01:45:08,427 --> 01:45:12,972
You know, she always kind of kept
one eye on you, the one that got away.
1644
01:45:22,274 --> 01:45:23,316
How is Kathy?
1645
01:45:23,734 --> 01:45:27,403
She's great. She's really amazing.
1646
01:45:28,613 --> 01:45:32,074
Her fabric business is through the roof,
even with the three boys.
1647
01:45:32,826 --> 01:45:35,286
-Oh, my God. Three?
-Yeah.
1648
01:45:35,454 --> 01:45:37,413
Homer, Wyatt and Tate.
1649
01:45:37,748 --> 01:45:39,415
Sounds like a country-music band.
1650
01:45:39,583 --> 01:45:41,584
Here's hoping.
1651
01:45:46,798 --> 01:45:48,632
Tate.
1652
01:45:52,137 --> 01:45:53,971
Wow. Aidan, they're amazing.
1653
01:45:54,139 --> 01:45:56,390
Yeah, they're good boys.
1654
01:45:56,558 --> 01:45:58,517
We're really lucky.
1655
01:46:01,396 --> 01:46:03,105
What about you?
1656
01:46:03,273 --> 01:46:04,440
Not in the cards?
1657
01:46:04,608 --> 01:46:06,233
I don't know.
1658
01:46:06,401 --> 01:46:10,279
We've talked about it a lot
and both love kids, but...
1659
01:46:13,033 --> 01:46:14,784
...that's not who we are.
1660
01:46:14,951 --> 01:46:18,454
Yeah, doesn't surprise me.
You're anything but traditional.
1661
01:46:18,622 --> 01:46:21,123
I learned that when I tried
to get you to wear a ring.
1662
01:46:21,291 --> 01:46:23,626
Exactly. And see? Still:
1663
01:46:25,128 --> 01:46:27,046
No diamond.
1664
01:46:27,714 --> 01:46:29,507
-And I'm married.
-Man...
1665
01:46:29,674 --> 01:46:32,718
...that was my big mistake.
Trying to get a rock on you.
1666
01:46:36,014 --> 01:46:37,473
You're not like other women.
1667
01:46:39,851 --> 01:46:42,645
Man, are you not.
1668
01:46:47,442 --> 01:46:49,652
Fuck, you look good.
1669
01:46:50,445 --> 01:46:54,323
You look hot. I'm sorry, but you do.
1670
01:46:59,329 --> 01:47:00,079
Did you enjoy...
1671
01:47:00,330 --> 01:47:01,705
...the muhammara?
1672
01:47:03,500 --> 01:47:06,085
That is the best muhammara
I've ever had.
1673
01:47:08,130 --> 01:47:10,172
There's seven arches.
1674
01:47:10,340 --> 01:47:14,218
One to represent each
of the different Arab Emirates.
1675
01:47:14,386 --> 01:47:18,347
I memorize a different state
every time I come. I'm up to four now.
1676
01:47:18,723 --> 01:47:20,891
I got Abu Dhabi, Ajman...
1677
01:47:21,059 --> 01:47:24,520
...Dubai and, um, hold on....
1678
01:47:41,037 --> 01:47:42,037
I'm sorry.
1679
01:47:42,330 --> 01:47:44,081
No, I'm sorry.
1680
01:47:44,249 --> 01:47:47,209
-Oh, fuck.
-Yeah, I should go.
1681
01:47:47,377 --> 01:47:48,752
I'm going. Bye.
1682
01:47:52,883 --> 01:47:53,883
Is this the way?
1683
01:48:10,192 --> 01:48:12,443
-How was your dinner, miss?
-Yeah.
1684
01:48:15,071 --> 01:48:16,989
-I kissed Aidan.
-I knew it.
1685
01:48:17,157 --> 01:48:18,908
I know you knew it.
1686
01:48:19,075 --> 01:48:20,409
I played with fire.
1687
01:48:20,869 --> 01:48:24,455
I'm so mad at myself.
Is Samantha still here? I need everybody.
1688
01:48:24,623 --> 01:48:26,916
She's getting ready for her date.
1689
01:48:31,254 --> 01:48:32,421
Samantha!
1690
01:48:33,256 --> 01:48:35,007
In here.
1691
01:48:36,760 --> 01:48:40,054
I kissed Aidan.
I'm freaking out. I need to talk.
1692
01:48:40,222 --> 01:48:41,680
I'm coming right out.
1693
01:48:41,848 --> 01:48:45,100
Paula, I need a towel.
1694
01:48:48,438 --> 01:48:50,940
One minute, he was naming
the Arab Emirates...
1695
01:48:51,107 --> 01:48:53,817
...and then, all of a sudden, we kissed.
1696
01:48:53,985 --> 01:48:58,113
-Did he kiss you? Or did you kiss him?
-No, both. Both equally guilty.
1697
01:49:00,909 --> 01:49:04,620
-Yeah, I wanna call Big and tell him.
-Let's just calm down for a second.
1698
01:49:04,788 --> 01:49:08,541
No, really. I don't want the secret.
The secret to me makes it much worse.
1699
01:49:08,708 --> 01:49:12,503
So the sooner I tell him, the quicker,
the less damage it will do.
1700
01:49:12,671 --> 01:49:15,798
I mean, we're eight hours ahead
of New York. This is the future.
1701
01:49:15,966 --> 01:49:18,467
It hasn't really even happened there yet.
1702
01:49:20,804 --> 01:49:23,138
Well, now I'm crazy in Abu Dhabi.
1703
01:49:23,306 --> 01:49:25,975
So, what do you think? Should I call him?
1704
01:49:26,142 --> 01:49:27,810
I don't know.
1705
01:49:27,978 --> 01:49:30,062
I don't know.
1706
01:49:30,480 --> 01:49:32,815
I don't know.
1707
01:49:33,775 --> 01:49:35,401
I'm a little drunk.
1708
01:49:35,569 --> 01:49:39,196
When Steve told me he cheated on me,
I was devastated.
1709
01:49:39,364 --> 01:49:42,324
But now that I know
it was only that one time....
1710
01:49:42,492 --> 01:49:45,286
-Yeah?
-Was the pain worth it?
1711
01:49:45,453 --> 01:49:48,497
-I don't know.
-Yeah. I don't know.
1712
01:49:48,665 --> 01:49:50,374
Let's get something straight here.
1713
01:49:50,542 --> 01:49:52,001
Steve had sex.
1714
01:49:52,335 --> 01:49:53,836
I'm sorry, but he did.
1715
01:49:54,004 --> 01:49:56,672
And this was just a kiss.
A kiss is nothing.
1716
01:49:56,840 --> 01:49:59,091
-A kiss with Aidan.
-It was a kiss.
1717
01:49:59,259 --> 01:50:01,677
-We have a history.
-It was just a kiss.
1718
01:50:01,845 --> 01:50:03,679
Say nothing.
1719
01:50:04,264 --> 01:50:05,389
I am gonna tell him.
1720
01:50:08,268 --> 01:50:09,893
Do me a favor...
1721
01:50:10,061 --> 01:50:12,313
...and sleep on it.
1722
01:50:24,868 --> 01:50:26,869
Your first sheesha experience.
1723
01:50:27,412 --> 01:50:29,955
This is very exciting.
1724
01:50:30,123 --> 01:50:32,875
You put this pipe in your mouth--
1725
01:50:33,043 --> 01:50:35,210
And suck?
1726
01:50:41,301 --> 01:50:43,135
You are a natural.
1727
01:50:57,067 --> 01:51:00,110
I think you have another audience.
1728
01:51:06,826 --> 01:51:09,578
Abu Dhabi is so cutting-edge
in so many ways...
1729
01:51:09,746 --> 01:51:11,997
...and so backward when it comes to sex.
1730
01:51:12,165 --> 01:51:14,249
And the paradox is...
1731
01:51:14,417 --> 01:51:19,004
...I find myself to be most aroused
on my trips here.
1732
01:51:19,172 --> 01:51:20,923
Do tell.
1733
01:51:22,759 --> 01:51:27,930
If we were in, say, Paris,
or Madrid, right now...
1734
01:51:32,060 --> 01:51:36,271
...I would be having my hand down
your blouse, brushing your nipples.
1735
01:51:37,607 --> 01:51:40,984
But here, such things are forbidden.
1736
01:51:41,361 --> 01:51:44,446
And it's like being a boy again.
1737
01:51:48,284 --> 01:51:49,785
And are you a big boy?
1738
01:52:00,463 --> 01:52:01,547
Walk on the beach?
1739
01:52:02,048 --> 01:52:03,465
Oh, yes.
1740
01:52:03,633 --> 01:52:06,135
I need a walk on the beach.
1741
01:52:21,651 --> 01:52:24,528
Your top seems to have come undone.
1742
01:52:59,022 --> 01:53:02,357
Well, it's 2:30 a.m. there.
You still can't be jet-lagged.
1743
01:53:02,525 --> 01:53:04,401
Hi.
1744
01:53:05,195 --> 01:53:06,528
Something happened.
1745
01:53:07,030 --> 01:53:09,031
-Are you okay?
-Yes. Yes.
1746
01:53:09,199 --> 01:53:13,786
Nothing accident-wise or anything.
1747
01:53:13,953 --> 01:53:15,704
But it was an accident.
1748
01:53:15,872 --> 01:53:18,499
What happened? Are you physically okay?
1749
01:53:18,666 --> 01:53:20,584
Yes, I'm--
1750
01:53:21,211 --> 01:53:23,170
I'm fine.
1751
01:53:24,214 --> 01:53:29,510
I, uh, went to the spice market...
1752
01:53:29,677 --> 01:53:31,720
...and I ran into Aidan.
1753
01:53:34,057 --> 01:53:36,558
-Hello?
-Yes?
1754
01:53:36,726 --> 01:53:40,562
And we decided to have dinner...
1755
01:53:40,730 --> 01:53:47,236
...because it was so strange
to see each other there.
1756
01:53:47,737 --> 01:53:53,784
And at dinner we were talking about
how happy we were in our marriages and--
1757
01:53:53,952 --> 01:53:58,831
And when we went to say goodbye...
1758
01:53:59,749 --> 01:54:01,583
...somehow...
1759
01:54:04,587 --> 01:54:05,629
...we kissed.
1760
01:54:08,049 --> 01:54:10,968
It didn't mean anything...
1761
01:54:11,135 --> 01:54:13,679
...and it lasted only a second.
1762
01:54:13,847 --> 01:54:16,598
And I'm sick about it.
1763
01:54:16,766 --> 01:54:20,269
And the girls didn't know
if I should even tell you...
1764
01:54:20,436 --> 01:54:23,105
...because it was just a kiss
and it means nothing.
1765
01:54:23,273 --> 01:54:27,276
But I told them...
1766
01:54:27,443 --> 01:54:32,030
...that I couldn't have a secret from you.
That we don't have secrets.
1767
01:54:32,198 --> 01:54:36,869
And the secret
would just make it worse. So....
1768
01:54:37,537 --> 01:54:40,622
So I'm telling you.
1769
01:54:42,876 --> 01:54:47,462
And I feel awful.
1770
01:54:51,342 --> 01:54:53,635
And I'm sorry.
1771
01:54:58,808 --> 01:55:00,976
Please say something.
1772
01:55:03,897 --> 01:55:05,188
I'm at work, Carrie.
1773
01:55:05,523 --> 01:55:07,149
I have to go.
1774
01:55:07,317 --> 01:55:09,026
Goodbye.
1775
01:55:26,044 --> 01:55:29,546
-Hi. I was gonna call you back. I just--
- Carrie, this is outrageous.
1776
01:55:29,714 --> 01:55:31,506
-I've been arrested.
-Wait, wait, wait.
1777
01:55:31,674 --> 01:55:34,217
-Samantha, wait. What's wrong?
-You gotta get down here.
1778
01:55:39,057 --> 01:55:40,182
Get up.
1779
01:55:40,350 --> 01:55:42,851
Samantha was arrested for having sex
on the beach.
1780
01:55:43,019 --> 01:55:45,187
She's at hotel security
and she needs a lawyer.
1781
01:55:45,355 --> 01:55:47,022
I'm on it.
1782
01:55:47,190 --> 01:55:48,857
No, no, no. That way.
1783
01:55:49,400 --> 01:55:52,027
We did not have sex.
We were just kissing.
1784
01:55:52,195 --> 01:55:55,948
And this uptight couple told
the security guard to arrest us.
1785
01:55:56,115 --> 01:55:58,867
See, kissing is something. It's illegal.
1786
01:56:00,453 --> 01:56:02,829
Oh, Mr. Safir,
thank you so much for coming.
1787
01:56:02,997 --> 01:56:05,874
I'm so sorry
about this unfortunate situation.
1788
01:56:06,042 --> 01:56:08,752
Ladies, if you don't mind waiting outside.
1789
01:56:08,920 --> 01:56:10,963
I'm her attorney. I'm gonna stay.
1790
01:56:11,547 --> 01:56:13,048
-Sure.
-We'll be right outside.
1791
01:56:18,972 --> 01:56:24,226
-It's all right.
-So, what is the severity of the situation?
1792
01:56:26,187 --> 01:56:30,065
The gentleman who reported the incident
is very conservative...
1793
01:56:30,233 --> 01:56:33,735
...and has insisted the offending event
be recorded.
1794
01:56:34,195 --> 01:56:37,114
Offending event? It was kissing.
1795
01:56:37,281 --> 01:56:40,242
I understand your feelings.
But we will need your passport.
1796
01:56:40,410 --> 01:56:43,286
My passport? You gotta be kidding me.
1797
01:56:43,454 --> 01:56:46,915
It's just to make a record.
To satisfy the complaining gentleman.
1798
01:56:49,836 --> 01:56:52,421
This is outrageous.
1799
01:56:52,588 --> 01:56:53,588
I know. I know.
1800
01:56:54,757 --> 01:56:57,092
It was just a kiss.
1801
01:56:57,844 --> 01:56:59,428
Thank you.
1802
01:57:13,276 --> 01:57:15,277
I guess I really missed who I used to be...
1803
01:57:15,445 --> 01:57:18,989
...and Aidan was such a big part
of that and--
1804
01:57:19,407 --> 01:57:22,200
Yes, I wanted the flirting,
and, yes, I wanted the attention.
1805
01:57:22,368 --> 01:57:23,994
But I didn't want the kiss.
1806
01:57:24,162 --> 01:57:26,788
The minute I kissed Aidan
I remembered who I used to be.
1807
01:57:26,956 --> 01:57:31,293
Someone just running around New York
like a crazy person...
1808
01:57:31,961 --> 01:57:34,504
...trying to get the one man I loved
to love me back.
1809
01:57:36,174 --> 01:57:37,507
And now he does love me...
1810
01:57:37,675 --> 01:57:42,471
...and he wants to sit on a couch
in New York City with me.
1811
01:57:46,350 --> 01:57:50,020
And I really hope my past hasn't
screwed up my future.
1812
01:57:52,440 --> 01:57:54,399
And what's so bad
about a couch anyway?
1813
01:57:58,237 --> 01:58:01,531
Oh, my God. I'm having a mid-wife crisis.
1814
01:58:06,454 --> 01:58:09,664
I should never have said anything to him.
1815
01:58:09,832 --> 01:58:13,919
The New Yorker was right to slap
a big piece of tape across my mouth.
1816
01:58:17,965 --> 01:58:21,551
And I'm sorry for that thing I said
about your marriage earlier.
1817
01:58:21,928 --> 01:58:23,345
I'm sorry too.
1818
01:58:23,513 --> 01:58:25,263
For what?
1819
01:58:25,765 --> 01:58:29,184
For having an attitude
about that two-day idea.
1820
01:58:30,019 --> 01:58:33,230
I've had two days away,
I've gotten a little sleep...
1821
01:58:33,397 --> 01:58:37,025
...and I am finally starting
to feel like myself again.
1822
01:58:37,193 --> 01:58:40,112
I think there's really something to it.
1823
01:58:42,907 --> 01:58:44,032
Maybe.
1824
01:58:46,327 --> 01:58:49,663
Well, let's just hope Big
doesn't want seven days off.
1825
01:58:52,708 --> 01:58:55,585
And as morning arrived,
so did Samantha's release.
1826
01:58:55,753 --> 01:58:57,671
I am sorry it took me so long to arrive.
1827
01:58:57,839 --> 01:58:59,548
Well, you're here now, Mr. Mahmud.
1828
01:58:59,715 --> 01:59:02,467
I never got word
until I arrived at my office.
1829
01:59:02,635 --> 01:59:05,053
I'm sorry that you had to come
all the way out here.
1830
01:59:05,221 --> 01:59:07,973
-Well, it is all settled now.
-Thanks to you.
1831
01:59:08,641 --> 01:59:10,976
-Good to see you again, ladies.
-Thank you so much.
1832
01:59:11,519 --> 01:59:13,353
I'm starving.
1833
01:59:13,521 --> 01:59:16,565
Hello? What's for breakfast?
1834
01:59:16,732 --> 01:59:20,068
Abdul? Anybody?
1835
01:59:20,236 --> 01:59:23,071
Well, that's odd. Where are they?
1836
01:59:26,701 --> 01:59:28,243
-Hello?
-Miss Jones, please.
1837
01:59:29,036 --> 01:59:30,495
Samantha. It's the front desk.
1838
01:59:33,082 --> 01:59:35,417
-This is Samantha Jones.
-Miss Jones.
1839
01:59:35,585 --> 01:59:37,252
This is Beydoun at the front desk.
1840
01:59:37,420 --> 01:59:40,088
I will need a credit card number
for the room charges.
1841
01:59:40,715 --> 01:59:43,008
Beydoun, there must be some mistake.
1842
01:59:43,176 --> 01:59:47,429
I am a guest of Sheikh Khalid.
There is no room charge.
1843
01:59:47,597 --> 01:59:50,432
Yes, I have a record of that.
But not from today on.
1844
01:59:50,600 --> 01:59:54,436
What are you talking about? I have
a meeting with the sheikh on Tuesday.
1845
01:59:54,604 --> 01:59:59,065
Ah, yes. I have a note here
from Mr. Mahmud.
1846
01:59:59,233 --> 02:00:01,985
That meeting is no longer as well.
1847
02:00:03,529 --> 02:00:06,114
That sneaky bastard
has canceled the meeting...
1848
02:00:06,282 --> 02:00:08,700
...and he wants us to pay
for the room from now on.
1849
02:00:09,869 --> 02:00:12,454
We have you booked into the Jewel Suite
until Wednesday.
1850
02:00:12,622 --> 02:00:14,956
The charge is 22,000 per night.
1851
02:00:15,917 --> 02:00:18,877
The room is $22,000 a night.
1852
02:00:19,712 --> 02:00:21,713
-What?
-We can't pay that.
1853
02:00:23,090 --> 02:00:24,299
Let them sue me.
1854
02:00:24,467 --> 02:00:29,054
The punishment for not paying
your hotel bill in the UAE is jail.
1855
02:00:32,391 --> 02:00:33,808
What time is checkout?
1856
02:00:33,976 --> 02:00:35,644
In precisely one hour.
1857
02:00:37,271 --> 02:00:41,566
We have an hour to pack
and get the fuck out of Abu Dhabi.
1858
02:00:42,235 --> 02:00:43,318
What?
1859
02:00:43,486 --> 02:00:45,570
What do you mean--?
1860
02:00:47,156 --> 02:00:48,865
New Middle East, my ass.
1861
02:00:52,620 --> 02:00:56,915
Fucking Paula Abdul.
Where is she when you need him?
1862
02:00:59,377 --> 02:01:00,710
Samantha!
1863
02:01:06,509 --> 02:01:08,677
Samantha!
1864
02:01:08,844 --> 02:01:10,929
I can't be ready in an hour!
1865
02:01:11,097 --> 02:01:13,890
Then you better have $22,000 a night!
1866
02:01:14,934 --> 02:01:16,184
Oh, my God.
1867
02:01:18,479 --> 02:01:20,522
All right. Okay.
1868
02:01:24,193 --> 02:01:26,778
I've got the bath products.
1869
02:01:29,532 --> 02:01:32,742
- Yes. Did you call about luggage?
-They're here for the luggage.
1870
02:01:32,910 --> 02:01:36,037
Okay. I'm coming.
1871
02:01:47,508 --> 02:01:52,554
Hi. I'm calling
to reconfirm four first-class tickets.
1872
02:01:52,722 --> 02:01:53,930
Oh, Christ.
-Are you okay?
1873
02:01:54,098 --> 02:01:57,726
We were supposed to be
leaving on Tuesday, but....
1874
02:01:57,893 --> 02:01:59,561
Sir.
1875
02:01:59,729 --> 02:02:01,396
-Shorts?
-I no longer care.
1876
02:02:01,564 --> 02:02:04,941
I am going from here to a plane to America,
where legs are not the devil.
1877
02:02:05,109 --> 02:02:06,401
At least zip up the jacket.
1878
02:02:06,569 --> 02:02:09,487
I am having a hot flash in 119 degrees.
I may die.
1879
02:02:09,655 --> 02:02:11,031
Yes, miss.
-Hello.
1880
02:02:11,198 --> 02:02:13,658
We called down for two cabs going
to the airport.
1881
02:02:13,826 --> 02:02:16,244
Right away.
-Thank you.
1882
02:02:26,088 --> 02:02:28,923
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
1883
02:02:29,091 --> 02:02:30,258
Oh, my God!
1884
02:02:30,426 --> 02:02:32,802
-What?
-I forgot to buy Harry and the girls a gift.
1885
02:02:32,970 --> 02:02:35,680
-I've gotta run to the gift shop.
-Get them at the airport.
1886
02:02:35,848 --> 02:02:39,142
How tacky. No, we have time.
The plane doesn't leave till 6.
1887
02:02:39,310 --> 02:02:42,312
Not chancing it. It's a miracle
I got these seats rebooked.
1888
02:02:42,480 --> 02:02:46,775
If anything goes wrong, we're flying back
13 and a half hours in coach.
1889
02:02:47,109 --> 02:02:48,860
Buy them some crap at the airport.
1890
02:02:49,945 --> 02:02:52,113
It's not here. My passport.
1891
02:02:52,281 --> 02:02:55,158
-Well, is it in another purse?
-No, no. I had it right here.
1892
02:02:55,326 --> 02:02:58,286
I had it right here next to my money
and the spices.
1893
02:02:59,205 --> 02:03:00,622
Well, they're not here either.
1894
02:03:04,460 --> 02:03:06,503
I left it where I bought the shoes.
1895
02:03:06,670 --> 02:03:10,131
I put it on the counter and then when
I saw Aidan I got distracted and I--
1896
02:03:10,299 --> 02:03:13,009
-It's all right. It's okay.
-I have to go back to the souk.
1897
02:03:13,177 --> 02:03:15,804
-What if it's not there?
-It will be there. It has to be.
1898
02:03:15,971 --> 02:03:17,263
-Miranda, go with me?
-Sure.
1899
02:03:17,431 --> 02:03:19,474
-We'll all go.
-You don't have to do that.
1900
02:03:19,642 --> 02:03:21,559
Yeah, like we'd dump you in Abu Dhabi.
1901
02:03:21,727 --> 02:03:25,313
Sir, we need to leave the bags here.
We'll come back for them.
1902
02:03:25,481 --> 02:03:28,775
No, no, no. Um, um. La, la, la, la.
1903
02:03:31,153 --> 02:03:32,821
No, no. No.
1904
02:03:32,988 --> 02:03:34,322
My nails!
1905
02:03:35,199 --> 02:03:37,534
No, sir. No! Not at all.
No. Not at all.
1906
02:03:37,701 --> 02:03:39,369
They're loading the other car!
1907
02:03:44,291 --> 02:03:47,085
Will you stop with the jacket?
You're flashing religious men.
1908
02:03:47,253 --> 02:03:49,337
I don't care,
I'm baking from the inside out.
1909
02:03:49,505 --> 02:03:51,172
How much farther?
1910
02:03:51,340 --> 02:03:54,134
There he is. Yeah, there he is.
1911
02:03:55,928 --> 02:03:58,346
Hello, sir. I was here the other day.
1912
02:03:58,514 --> 02:04:01,099
And I left a blue passport.
1913
02:04:04,520 --> 02:04:06,020
Yes!
1914
02:04:06,188 --> 02:04:08,857
Yes, that's me.
Oh, thank God. Thank Allah.
1915
02:04:10,860 --> 02:04:14,863
-Just please accept this as a thank-you, sir.
-No, no, no.
1916
02:04:16,323 --> 02:04:20,910
Oh, sir. Well, then, in that case,
shoes for everyone.
1917
02:04:21,245 --> 02:04:23,288
Okay, ladies, on me.
Quick, quick, quick.
1918
02:04:23,456 --> 02:04:24,706
Oh, thank you, sir.
1919
02:04:24,874 --> 02:04:27,417
So I think this...
1920
02:04:27,585 --> 02:04:30,670
...should lead us right out
to Al Ben Abi Talib Street...
1921
02:04:30,838 --> 02:04:33,089
...and we can get a cab back
to the hotel and go.
1922
02:04:33,257 --> 02:04:34,716
-And how are we for time?
-Good.
1923
02:04:37,094 --> 02:04:40,221
Hello, miss. Rolex? Special price.
1924
02:04:40,389 --> 02:04:41,931
Make beautiful gift for man.
1925
02:04:43,392 --> 02:04:46,644
-Do you have it in silver?
-Yes. Upstairs. Come.
1926
02:04:46,812 --> 02:04:48,480
-This one or this one.
-Not this one.
1927
02:04:48,647 --> 02:04:49,772
-Oh, craps.
-Wait!
1928
02:04:49,940 --> 02:04:52,233
-I think it's--
-Charlotte's buying a watch.
1929
02:04:52,401 --> 02:04:53,902
Miss.
1930
02:04:54,737 --> 02:04:55,904
-Welcome.
- Excuse us.
1931
02:04:56,071 --> 02:04:59,073
-Ladies, come this way. Upstairs.
- Wait, wait, wait. Hello?
1932
02:05:00,951 --> 02:05:02,994
We're with them.
1933
02:05:03,412 --> 02:05:04,871
Them. Them.
1934
02:05:05,039 --> 02:05:06,498
Okay.
1935
02:05:09,585 --> 02:05:11,794
We have many designer bags.
1936
02:05:11,962 --> 02:05:14,589
-Right through there.
- Very good, very nice.
1937
02:05:14,757 --> 02:05:16,549
-You really enjoy this store.
-Yes.
1938
02:05:16,717 --> 02:05:18,760
-Please, have seat. Please.
-Very good.
1939
02:05:18,928 --> 02:05:20,762
-Yes.
-Welcome.
1940
02:05:20,930 --> 02:05:22,013
-Thank you.
-This is....
1941
02:05:23,766 --> 02:05:27,185
Carrie. This is the watch you gave Big,
right? This could be Harry's gift.
1942
02:05:27,520 --> 02:05:29,771
No. Mine was vintage.
We should go. We should go.
1943
02:05:29,939 --> 02:05:31,940
-We have ladies' watches too, huh?
-Yeah.
1944
02:05:32,107 --> 02:05:34,776
We really, really need to go right now.
1945
02:05:34,944 --> 02:05:36,945
Is there any air in here?
1946
02:05:37,112 --> 02:05:39,364
-I have many other kinds.
-No, I'm so sorry.
1947
02:05:39,532 --> 02:05:41,699
We're going to miss our plane,
so nothing.
1948
02:05:41,867 --> 02:05:43,117
Thank you. Thank you.
1949
02:05:43,285 --> 02:05:44,786
-Beautiful.
-You want watch, yes?
1950
02:05:44,954 --> 02:05:47,205
-No, no, no. She didn't want anything.
-No.
1951
02:05:47,373 --> 02:05:48,706
-Sorry.
-Thank you, though.
1952
02:05:48,874 --> 02:05:50,792
Go. Then go.
1953
02:05:51,585 --> 02:05:53,711
-We have to go.
-No, you have to put this on...
1954
02:05:53,879 --> 02:05:55,672
-...before we go outside.
-You go.
1955
02:05:55,839 --> 02:05:57,382
-Sorry.
-No purse? No purse?
1956
02:05:57,550 --> 02:06:01,970
-Thank you, sir.
-No purse? Purse? No purse?
1957
02:06:09,103 --> 02:06:10,311
-It's forbidden.
-What?
1958
02:06:10,479 --> 02:06:12,021
It--
1959
02:06:14,525 --> 02:06:16,985
-What's that?
-It's the call to prayer.
1960
02:06:17,152 --> 02:06:18,319
Hey, lady!
1961
02:06:20,364 --> 02:06:23,324
Hey, you! Hey, you. I see you steal this.
1962
02:06:23,492 --> 02:06:25,368
-This is mine!
-I seen you take it!
1963
02:06:25,536 --> 02:06:27,745
I didn't steal it! It's mine!
1964
02:06:33,752 --> 02:06:35,587
You broke my Birkin!
1965
02:06:36,171 --> 02:06:37,547
Sorry. Mistake.
1966
02:06:50,686 --> 02:06:53,896
Condoms! Condoms, yes! Condoms!
1967
02:06:55,816 --> 02:06:58,526
-I have sex!
-Okay, okay.
1968
02:06:58,694 --> 02:07:00,903
-Samantha.
-Yes! Yes!
1969
02:07:04,241 --> 02:07:06,284
I have condoms!
1970
02:07:07,202 --> 02:07:08,703
Here they are!
1971
02:07:09,830 --> 02:07:10,872
Bite me!
1972
02:07:16,003 --> 02:07:19,297
-Bite me! Oh, bite me!
-No, no, no.
1973
02:07:22,092 --> 02:07:24,260
Go, go. Keep going.
1974
02:07:25,554 --> 02:07:27,221
Put your jacket on.
1975
02:07:27,389 --> 02:07:30,892
You're worried about getting old?
You're exactly the same as when I met you.
1976
02:07:31,060 --> 02:07:33,936
-Yes, I am. Good for me.
-Oh, they're following us.
1977
02:07:34,104 --> 02:07:37,190
Yes, because that was major disrespect.
And it's against the law.
1978
02:07:37,358 --> 02:07:39,609
-So, what do we do?
-Just keep walking and pray...
1979
02:07:39,777 --> 02:07:41,778
...no one calls a cop.
1980
02:07:52,247 --> 02:07:54,415
I think they want us to follow them.
1981
02:07:58,545 --> 02:08:00,129
-I think we should.
-Okay, go.
1982
02:08:00,297 --> 02:08:01,631
Okay.
1983
02:08:13,394 --> 02:08:16,270
All right. All right. Here we go.
1984
02:08:22,903 --> 02:08:24,445
Hello.
1985
02:08:29,535 --> 02:08:31,536
You are welcome, you are welcome.
1986
02:08:34,957 --> 02:08:36,958
That was quite a show outside.
1987
02:08:37,126 --> 02:08:38,167
Terrible.
1988
02:08:38,335 --> 02:08:40,044
So disrespectful.
1989
02:08:40,212 --> 02:08:41,504
Yes.
1990
02:08:42,464 --> 02:08:43,798
I quite enjoyed it.
1991
02:08:44,466 --> 02:08:50,513
-And the men will be outraged for weeks.
-For months. Some, perhaps years.
1992
02:08:52,349 --> 02:08:55,017
Could I bother you for a glass of water?
I'm burning up.
1993
02:08:55,185 --> 02:08:57,145
-Yes.
-Hot flashes.
1994
02:08:58,981 --> 02:09:01,566
Yeah. She knows.
1995
02:09:01,734 --> 02:09:03,901
Have you read this?
1996
02:09:05,154 --> 02:09:08,072
We are discussing it
in our book club today.
1997
02:09:08,240 --> 02:09:09,866
-Suzanne Somers.
-Suzanne Somers.
1998
02:09:10,033 --> 02:09:11,492
-Suzanne Somers.
-Suzanne Somers.
1999
02:09:11,660 --> 02:09:13,703
Lady gets around.
2000
02:09:14,580 --> 02:09:15,705
They took my creams.
2001
02:09:18,625 --> 02:09:21,169
I take it you are visiting
from the United States?
2002
02:09:21,336 --> 02:09:24,380
-New York City.
-New York?
2003
02:09:27,009 --> 02:09:29,635
Carnegie Hall, Fifth Avenue.
2004
02:09:33,348 --> 02:09:34,849
You've been to New York?
2005
02:09:35,476 --> 02:09:37,185
No.
2006
02:09:37,936 --> 02:09:40,229
But we love the fashion.
2007
02:09:47,696 --> 02:09:49,113
-Louis Vuitton.
-Yes.
2008
02:09:49,281 --> 02:09:51,199
Yes.
2009
02:09:52,701 --> 02:09:57,288
And there, in a dried-flower shop,
halfway across the world...
2010
02:09:57,456 --> 02:10:00,166
...underneath hundreds of years
of tradition...
2011
02:10:00,334 --> 02:10:02,710
...was this year's spring collection.
2012
02:10:02,878 --> 02:10:04,921
-So beautiful.
-So pretty.
2013
02:10:13,013 --> 02:10:16,557
-What'd she say? What'd she say?
-Something, something, Arab women.
2014
02:10:16,725 --> 02:10:20,394
Would you like anything to drink?
Coffee, tea? Anything, really.
2015
02:10:21,605 --> 02:10:24,774
Sorry. If we don't leave now,
we'll miss our flight.
2016
02:10:24,942 --> 02:10:28,110
But what about those angry men
out there?
2017
02:10:28,278 --> 02:10:30,738
How are we gonna get past them?
2018
02:10:35,828 --> 02:10:37,078
All clear.
2019
02:10:37,246 --> 02:10:39,038
This way.
2020
02:10:46,880 --> 02:10:48,798
It's this way.
2021
02:10:50,259 --> 02:10:52,218
Hey, where's Charlotte?
2022
02:10:52,553 --> 02:10:54,136
-She was behind you.
-No, I know.
2023
02:10:54,304 --> 02:10:58,266
I'm gonna fucking kill her. If we miss
that flight, we're flying home coach.
2024
02:10:58,433 --> 02:11:02,144
Shoes, the shoes. Look for her shoes.
She was wearing purple peep-toe platforms.
2025
02:11:02,312 --> 02:11:03,521
-Got it.
-Right.
2026
02:11:10,529 --> 02:11:12,363
There she is.
2027
02:11:13,615 --> 02:11:14,991
Charlotte!
2028
02:11:15,158 --> 02:11:17,493
Look! For the girls!
2029
02:11:18,203 --> 02:11:19,954
Taxi!
2030
02:11:21,874 --> 02:11:24,584
-Taxi!
-Don't women here take cabs?
2031
02:11:24,751 --> 02:11:26,168
Taxi!
2032
02:11:26,336 --> 02:11:30,047
Why won't they stop? We're out of time.
We're gonna get bumped from first class.
2033
02:11:30,215 --> 02:11:32,133
I can't be in menopause and in coach.
2034
02:11:33,468 --> 02:11:36,178
I have an idea. Hold this.
2035
02:11:36,346 --> 02:11:38,639
-What's she doing?
-I don't know.
2036
02:11:49,943 --> 02:11:51,277
Oh, hurry.
- Get in.
2037
02:11:51,445 --> 02:11:52,445
I'll get in the front.
2038
02:11:52,571 --> 02:11:54,280
Thank you so much.
Thank you, sir. Oh, yes.
2039
02:11:54,531 --> 02:11:58,367
We're going to the Taj Al Saharaa.
2040
02:12:07,044 --> 02:12:08,794
Thank you.
2041
02:12:12,507 --> 02:12:14,592
Do you have anything to declare?
2042
02:12:14,760 --> 02:12:16,677
Yes. I'm a mess.
2043
02:12:19,056 --> 02:12:20,848
Thank you.
2044
02:12:22,434 --> 02:12:24,852
Do you have anything to declare?
2045
02:12:26,021 --> 02:12:30,024
Turns out, Big never met me
at the airport like he promised.
2046
02:12:30,192 --> 02:12:32,693
-Thank you, William.
-No problem, Mrs. Preston.
2047
02:12:52,839 --> 02:12:54,548
John?
2048
02:12:58,220 --> 02:13:00,972
No Big and no TV.
2049
02:13:05,852 --> 02:13:07,728
- Here comes Mommy.
- Here comes Mommy.
2050
02:13:07,896 --> 02:13:10,106
-Hey, there she is.
-Mommy, hi.
2051
02:13:10,273 --> 02:13:13,401
Let's say hello, let's say hello.
-Oh, I missed you so much.
2052
02:13:13,568 --> 02:13:16,445
-Hi! Baby Rose.
-Hello, my love.
2053
02:13:16,613 --> 02:13:19,782
-I missed you so much.
-Mommy.
2054
02:13:38,093 --> 02:13:41,053
I can't pick up,
so please leave me a message.
2055
02:13:41,221 --> 02:13:43,806
Hi, it's me. I'm home.
2056
02:13:44,141 --> 02:13:45,933
Where are you?
2057
02:14:16,715 --> 02:14:18,466
Hi.
2058
02:14:19,926 --> 02:14:21,469
Where you been all day?
2059
02:14:23,221 --> 02:14:25,222
Walking around.
2060
02:14:26,558 --> 02:14:28,476
Killing time.
2061
02:14:31,271 --> 02:14:32,480
Torturing you.
2062
02:14:34,149 --> 02:14:35,149
Well, it worked.
2063
02:14:36,651 --> 02:14:39,487
-I thought you weren't gonna come back.
-Oh, no.
2064
02:14:40,113 --> 02:14:42,114
I'm a grownup.
2065
02:14:42,532 --> 02:14:43,824
And I made a vow.
2066
02:14:44,826 --> 02:14:46,494
Remember?
2067
02:14:46,995 --> 02:14:48,996
Ever thine, ever mine.
2068
02:14:49,164 --> 02:14:50,539
Ever ours.
2069
02:14:59,508 --> 02:15:01,509
Just so you know...
2070
02:15:02,427 --> 02:15:04,345
...that really tore me up.
2071
02:15:04,679 --> 02:15:06,722
I'm sorry.
2072
02:15:07,891 --> 02:15:10,601
You know, it seems to me
that you're a bit of a rookie...
2073
02:15:10,769 --> 02:15:13,020
...when it comes
to this whole marriage idea.
2074
02:15:13,855 --> 02:15:16,023
And maybe in light of what happened...
2075
02:15:16,191 --> 02:15:19,360
...until you get a better understanding
of what this is all about...
2076
02:15:19,528 --> 02:15:21,779
...you need a little reminder.
2077
02:15:25,158 --> 02:15:27,701
This is your punishment.
2078
02:15:29,996 --> 02:15:34,041
You have to wear this every day
so that you remember...
2079
02:15:34,918 --> 02:15:35,960
...you're married.
2080
02:15:37,546 --> 02:15:39,296
Gladly.
2081
02:15:41,383 --> 02:15:43,384
It dawned on me
when I was walking around...
2082
02:15:43,552 --> 02:15:47,096
...that while you wrote
a funny book about vows...
2083
02:15:47,264 --> 02:15:50,683
...you never actually wrote any vows
from you to me.
2084
02:15:51,393 --> 02:15:53,060
Oh, I did.
2085
02:15:53,228 --> 02:15:56,313
But then that wedding never happened.
2086
02:15:58,233 --> 02:16:00,985
I guess we all make stupid mistakes.
2087
02:16:04,030 --> 02:16:05,656
You were saying.
2088
02:16:05,824 --> 02:16:07,449
Vows.
2089
02:16:08,201 --> 02:16:11,370
I took the liberty of making up
some vows for you.
2090
02:16:11,538 --> 02:16:14,248
Repeat after me, please.
2091
02:16:14,416 --> 02:16:17,334
I will never kiss another man other
than my husband.
2092
02:16:17,502 --> 02:16:20,254
I will never kiss another man other
than my husband.
2093
02:16:20,422 --> 02:16:23,382
I will stop worrying
about being a boring old married couple...
2094
02:16:23,550 --> 02:16:25,926
...because we never will be.
2095
02:16:26,094 --> 02:16:30,181
I will stop worrying
about being a boring old married couple...
2096
02:16:30,348 --> 02:16:32,850
...because we never will be.
2097
02:16:33,435 --> 02:16:35,102
Are you sure?
2098
02:16:35,687 --> 02:16:38,230
It's gonna be just us two.
2099
02:16:39,608 --> 02:16:41,025
Are we enough?
2100
02:16:42,068 --> 02:16:43,777
Kid...
2101
02:16:44,279 --> 02:16:45,779
...we're too much.
2102
02:16:50,952 --> 02:16:52,536
How's that for a little sparkle?
2103
02:16:54,080 --> 02:16:56,457
That's a lot of sparkle.
2104
02:16:59,336 --> 02:17:01,462
Why'd you get a black diamond?
2105
02:17:01,880 --> 02:17:04,298
Because you're not like anyone else.
2106
02:17:05,592 --> 02:17:07,009
That's a relief.
2107
02:17:07,177 --> 02:17:10,763
I thought you were gonna say
it's the color of my soul.
2108
02:17:15,727 --> 02:17:19,980
And, like it always will,
time moved us on.
2109
02:17:20,982 --> 02:17:22,024
And in the future--
2110
02:17:22,192 --> 02:17:25,402
I am proud to report
that the settlement we attained...
2111
02:17:25,570 --> 02:17:28,781
...for Global Families Incorporated
surpassed their expectations.
2112
02:17:28,949 --> 02:17:33,661
--Miranda learned that at the right law firm,
where her voice was valued...
2113
02:17:33,828 --> 02:17:37,039
...she was also fun at work.
2114
02:17:38,917 --> 02:17:43,045
And that July 4th,
on an East Hampton sand dune...
2115
02:17:44,381 --> 02:17:48,509
...Samantha learned that good things
do come to those who wait...
2116
02:17:48,677 --> 02:17:54,515
...when she and Rikard
resumed their date in the land of the free...
2117
02:17:56,393 --> 02:17:58,394
...and the home of the hormones.
2118
02:18:05,360 --> 02:18:09,488
And Charlotte learned that she never
really had anything to worry about.
2119
02:18:09,656 --> 02:18:15,202
Turns out, her hot nanny preferred
the company of other hot nannies.
2120
02:18:15,370 --> 02:18:17,454
Stanford, here's a refresher.
-Yes, please.
2121
02:18:17,622 --> 02:18:20,833
-Happy birthday.
-What are you doing? You drank it all?
2122
02:18:21,001 --> 02:18:23,043
And as Rose turned 3...
2123
02:18:27,507 --> 02:18:31,135
...and our marriage grew out
of the terrible twos...
2124
02:18:31,303 --> 02:18:36,223
...Big and I found less and less need
to escape to the other apartment.
2125
02:18:39,936 --> 02:18:42,771
But we kept the option open.
2126
02:18:42,939 --> 02:18:46,400
Just in case someone
needed those two days off.
2127
02:19:02,375 --> 02:19:04,793
As for me, I began to think of marriage...
2128
02:19:04,961 --> 02:19:08,756
...much like the Real Housewife
of Abu Dhabi's veil.
2129
02:19:08,923 --> 02:19:14,136
You have to take the tradition
and decorate it your way.
2130
02:19:18,600 --> 02:19:20,392
--trying to make up my mind for me.
2131
02:19:20,560 --> 02:19:22,936
Well, stop it and do as I tell you.
2132
02:19:24,105 --> 02:19:26,315
Leopold.
-Never take a stubborn woman...
2133
02:19:26,483 --> 02:19:29,443
...they're a curse. My mother
warned me against stubborn women.
2134
02:19:29,611 --> 02:19:30,611
Leopold.
2135
02:19:30,779 --> 02:19:33,655
Now, stop following me
or I'll call the police.
2136
02:19:37,786 --> 02:19:41,789
Because while movies may be
wonderful in black and white...
2137
02:19:41,956 --> 02:19:44,124
...when it comes to relationships...
2138
02:19:44,292 --> 02:19:48,587
...there's a whole range of colors
and options to explore.
2139
02:19:48,755 --> 02:19:52,216
And that's where I am today.
161903
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