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♪ ELECTRONIC MUSIC
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GEORGIA This turkey looks like
the mafia got a hold of it.
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JUDY It's how the Amish do it.
I saw it on YouTube.
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GEORGIA The Amish post on YouTube?
That is crazy.
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JUDY I know, times have changed [LAUGHTER].
Wait, this is,
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this is hell. I, I never gave my
mother enough credit for doing
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this production year after year.
I guess I was already drinking
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by the time everything was done.
It was like this magical,
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mystical meal appeared
[LAUGHTER]. And Bill
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GEORGIA Yeah, that - Thanksgiving
is fun for everyone but the chef.
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True that.
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ZOE Mom has been brining the
turkey for a week. It's gonna be
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more like Passover than
Thanksgiving.
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LILY Oh, what'd you say?
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I just can't believe that our
mother, a woman who's
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consistently flummoxed by the
microwave and who has never
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made a piece of unburnt
toast, is cooking for 15.
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Do you remember that one time
when she made that big pie with
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that huge dome. And then
dad tapped on it and
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the whole thing collapsed.
[LAUGHTER]
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Oh, it was so tragic.
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No, it was funny.
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I like his new girlfriend.
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She's cool. But it's like mega
awkward when she treats me
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like we're besties.
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Totes, that's so off.
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And she's always posting on my
Facebook and liking things.
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[LAUGHTER]
Why don't you block her?
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It would make things
kind of weird.
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GEORGIA I do not trust those
instructional videos.
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I followed one once and
seriously almost blinded
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myself trying to
apply liquid eye liner.
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GEORGIA Bad idea.
JUDY That's terrible
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Oh look, there's my
wayward husband.
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Why did you guys
drive separately?
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He had to drop something
off on his way over here.
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For work, on Thanksgiving?
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Who knows where he
goes or what he does.
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ZOE I wonder why
she's unfriended me?
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LILLY Well you live far away.
She doesn't even know you yet.
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I guess it's better that way.
Mom would be crazy jealous.
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She already puts me in the
middle enough as it is.
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Wait, so mom can see
what's on my Facebook?
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Yeah, she's got like
this secret account.
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She's like the J. Edgar
Hoover of social media.
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[LAUGHTER] I'll show you.
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RICK No, no, no, it's not been an hour.
Look, I had to park
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like a mile away. That's - -
there's trees in this
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Your obsession with
sap is unnerving.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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[BIRD CHIRPING NOISE]
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Uh, I don't know, I downloaded
some new ring tones,
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That's probably what it is.
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It sounds like a dying sparrow.
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I'll set it to silent.
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Will you set it to off?
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Okay, happy now?
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I'm gonna go help with the
buffet table, want to help me?
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Sounds exciting. I'm gonna
make a cocktail instead.
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RICK Hey can you believe the,
uh, Vuelta, Contador and Froome
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battling it out? It should
be the tour, right?
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GEORGIA Sounds like you guys are having
fun. Kimmy, he's on restriction,
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no cell phone for Rick.
No cell phone for Rick.
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KIMMY (OS) Got it. GEORGIA
(OS) No cell phone
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KIMMY (OS) So Rick, uh, are, are
you going to the Giro in Italy or?
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Yeah, yeah, I'll be in
Italy for the Giro.
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I'll miss the tour in France,
though, but I'm gonna go to the
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Vuelta in Spain for sure.
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KIMMY Wow. RICK Yeah.
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[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON PORCH]
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JESSE So I'm, I'm chatting with
this guy on Bottom Feeder for like
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three weeks and
then he just disappears.
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DYLAN Bottom Feeder's bull shit.
People just want to chat and
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chat and chat and chat and chat.
It's a bottomless chat feeder.
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JESSE Okay yes, but I just
felt rejected, you know.
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DYLAN It's not real rejection.
It's more of a pseudo rejection.
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We just had so much in
common. We both loved
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Miles Davis, Dry Rieslings and
spontaneous swimming and then
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poof he just disappears. I know
that this sounds horrible. But
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I, I sort of hope that something
awful happened to him, or maybe
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he died. Because otherwise he
just never wrote back to me.
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DYLAN Maybe he just
met someone else
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JESSE Then why wouldn't he just say that?
I mean is there no
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decorum left in the world?
No manners?
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JESSE A little, 18 years.
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DYLAN Well the kids are used to that
kind of interaction, it's normal
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to them. It's all just virtual.
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JESSE You're so much better
at this than I am. Oh my god,
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DYLAN I've only actually gone
through with it a few times.
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JESSE Right. When is the
last time that you actually
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DYLAN Some drug addict came
over, started cutting coke
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on my Noguchi table.
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JESSE Oh my god, poor Noguchi.
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DYLAN Then he put his head on
my chest and said the sound
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of my beating heart
made him hard.
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JESSE Yeah, I would take a serial
killer blow job at this point.
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Oh, Gold Unicorn?
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JUDY Hi, mom. I left you a message
on your voice mail on your cell
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but it's full. I, I tried the
house. It's not working.
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[LAUGHTER] I don't know
why it's not working.
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Yes, everything is under
control. I have mister turkey
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right here. I brined it, yes,
it's very briny. All briny.
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550. I don't know, whatever.
Okay. No, no, no, uh,
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I, I don't need your help. I
don't. this year I am Sacajawea.
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I know that she wasn't at the
first Thanksgiving. I was just
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making a little bit of a joke.
Okay, I will text her and, and
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make sure she does. Okay, just,
just get over here, I love you.
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Okay, bye. [Doorbell rings]
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JUDY Happy Thanksgiving.
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SHANE Hello.
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Oh, three horny mules. Is that
local?
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Uh, 98 points on,
uh, Wine Enthusiast.
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Oh. Fabulous, thank you.
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This is very nice.
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Oh well thank you for
noticing that.
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Yes it's, uh, difficult to miss.
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Kind of like your work.
Oh, I would have loved to have
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shared your work with my
readers. My former readers.
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And speaking of work, is
everyone okay with me doing
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the blog interviews and-?
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Oh yes, absolutely. You know, I
saw your show at Red Art three
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years ago. And I thought it
would have been amazing to be a
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part of one of your projects.
And here you are.
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Well I hope it meets
your expectations.
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Thanksgiving is a, it's a pretty
foreign concept in Britain.
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In England we just Christmas
and Boxing Day so.
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Box it - - I nev - - what is
Boxing Day anyway?
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[LAUGHTER] you don't even know.
And, and I, and I want to remind
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you that this is the first time
that I have attempted
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the entire Thanksgiving feast.
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Oh well this is my first
time trying to eat one.
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So I'm just very grateful you
invited me, you know, thank you.
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I don't know where I would
have, uh, ended up.
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Well I'm so glad it's here.
Um, I'm gonna go back in
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to my work station.
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'Cause it's chaos
in there. And, um,
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Rick is mixing drinks
there at the bar.
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RICK Yo. JUDY (OS) And that's
Kimmy SHANE (OS) Hello.
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JUDY It's Shane, so.
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SHANE Hi. KIMMY Welcome, Shane.
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JUDY See you in a minute.
SHANE Okay
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LILY (OS) So then he sends me this
Snapchat of his erect ding-dong.
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ZOE Classy.
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ZOE [LAUGHTER] I wish I could
say that I believe it gets
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different but apparently all
penises have the same IQ.
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College guys do that?
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Yeah, I have an entire
collection of
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Valedictorian dicks.
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No, I mean I like penises. I'm
all about penises, but so
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up close it's just way too
natural history museum.
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And no one needs to see
balls close up.
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Mm-hmm. This poor guy texts me
pictures of everything.
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I mean its-he's such an over
texter. It's really annoying.
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What does he over text about?
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ZOE: Fire hydrants, um,
public parks, urban decay.
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He sent me pictures of him
winking, but it just like
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looks weird. Hmm, what about
you? I know you're having
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adventures. Do you like anyone
other than Snapchat boy?
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Mm, there's like this one guy.
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Yeah, he's a club promoter, so
he's like in the scene.
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Mm, he sounds fast.
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Yeah, he's a little fast. But I
kind of like fast. I think.
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DYLAN (OS) Your sister couldn't
have lost her job at a worse time.
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JESSE (OS) I know, when it rains it pours.
And I haven't been on Linked In
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lately but the job market for
art critics does not seem
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like it's exactly on fire.
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Has she dated anyone
since the divorce?
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JESSE: I mean she's on Date Me
but I don't know, I think she
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she might just be on there for
the validation. You know,
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just to be liked and found
attractive from her picture.
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Well I know that feeling. Even
if ugly guys or fatties like me
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it still makes me happy. Like,
you know, this guy put himself
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out there for me,
I'll always have options.
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Yeah, no, having
options is, is great.
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But sometimes too
many options is a problem.
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Yeah.
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RICK(OS) Cheers.
KIMMY Oh, Thank you.
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RICK (OS) Of course.
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So, uh, what's your
field of reportage?
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KIMMY (OS) Oh, sports.
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Really, I wouldn't
have thought that.
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Yeah, I guess you probably
thought, uh, math meets.
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Or, uh, chess tournaments.
Maybe some classical music.
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SHANE I just think it's
a little bit unusual.
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00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:35,514
Do you have, uh, a sport
that's your specialty?
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00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:38,650
KIMMY (OS) it's LA, so basketball.
It's all about basketball.
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00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,786
Yeah, when you guys win there
are riots. It's terrifying.
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KIMMY It's crazy. I guess you're
a friend of Judy's in the
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art world? Are you a dealer?
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00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:50,962
[LAUGHTER], No, no, no, I'm a,
I'm a multi-media artist.
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I organize, uh, location-based
group happenings. I'm interested
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in how people interact in
unusual, strange and
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00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,009
heightened situations.
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00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:07,546
KIMMY Oh, Oh-uh, oh hey Rick,
um, we haven't talked about
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00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,881
RICK: We'll do that over turkey.
You're busy.
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00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,117
KIMMY(OS) Okay, save me a seat?
What were you saying?
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00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:15,153
RICK Hey, hey, hey,
Jesse, you little bitch.
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00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:20,525
JESSE [LAUGHTER] Rick. Uh,
Dylan, this is Rick. He's
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00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,962
married to my sister's friend Georgia
and, uh, Rick this is my friend Dylan.
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00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:24,896
RICK Hey, Dylan. DYLAN
Nice to meet you.
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00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,266
RICK Happy turkey day, gobble,
gobble, and all that.
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00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:32,270
SHANE (OS) Well for example recently
my team picked out, uh, this
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00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,774
drunken American guy in a bar.
And then we all went in and
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00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:39,044
pretended it was his birthday.
And, uh, eventually he started
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00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,546
joining in even though it wasn't
his birthday. And then we
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00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,049
uploaded the whole
thing onto YouTube.
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00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,885
KIMMY So it wasn't his birthday,
you just messed around with some
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innocent stranger?
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00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,523
SHANE: Yeah, that's right
[LAUGHTER]. In, in
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00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:54,125
a way. But it was a, it was a
jocular kind of messing.
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00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,729
SHANE And there was, you
know, some touching moments.
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00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,664
There was some real pathos.
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00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,032
JESSE(OS) So how's work?
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00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:04,202
RICK It's pretty good I guess.
It is what it is. Gets a little
215
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:07,105
mundane, a little repetitive, a
lot of the same issues come up.
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00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,640
DYLAN Like what kind of
issues, what do you do?
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00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,308
RICK Oh I work for Google.
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00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:14,112
DYLAN Really? That's awesome.
Google's like so now.
219
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,714
What do you do there?
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00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,616
RICK Well I don't actually
work for the big G, I work for
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00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:21,219
a law firm that deals with, uh,
first amendment copyright issues
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00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,954
surrounding the Internet.
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00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,889
KIMMY Are you working
on anything now?
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00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,626
SHANE Yeah, I'm actually gonna
upload this Thanksgiving to my blog.
225
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:31,296
SHANE Yeah, I thought
it would be charming.
226
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,932
So you're gonna add
comments and cutesy
227
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,301
little pictures and things like that?
Yeah. Pictures,
228
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:41,206
SHANE and videos, image macros, gifts,
vines, and interviews. Actually,
229
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,808
I- I'd love to ask you some
questions if you are up for it?
230
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,810
KIMMY Oh no. I'm not used
to being interviewed.
231
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,279
SHANE Uh, well I mean I can
understand how you might not like the
232
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:52,283
KIMMY Oh no it, it's not about
the tables being turned, I mean.
233
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,687
SHANE Well there you go, and you
might enjoy being on the answer
234
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,756
side of the situation for once.
235
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,725
KIMMY Okay [LAUGHTER].
236
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:03,828
Let's give it a shot
for what you call art.
237
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,230
SHANE Okay, great.
238
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,665
KIMMY Okay great.
239
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,199
RICK (OS) Well I mean I
guess there's a case
240
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,869
where a guy has been posting
pictures of his girlfriend, his
241
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:15,106
ex-girlfriend, nude pictures.
And Google's named in the suit
242
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:18,009
because he's using Google
ads on his blog.
243
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,311
DYLAN Why would anyone
do something so creepy?
244
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,313
RICK That's a good question.
No telling what people do when
245
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,181
they're pissed off.
246
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,949
JESSE Hashtag karma.
247
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,919
SHANE (OS) Kimmy's keen insight
on all forms of sports are known
248
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:32,390
to the legions of fans in, uh,
this great city. Uh, so Kimmy,
249
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:38,263
I want you to throw that keen
eye on yourself. Uh, what does,
250
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,265
what does Thanksgiving
mean to you?
251
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:44,869
KIMMY Uh, you know, Thanksgiving's
always been one of my
252
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:48,206
favorite holidays since I was a
little girl. My parents were
253
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:52,343
immigrants and, uh, this
was the one American tradition
254
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:57,348
that they celebrated. My dad,
uh, was very reserved and always
255
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,819
focused on work. But when it
came to Thanksgiving he would
256
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,755
drop his work and he would join
the family and
257
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,024
he was the life of the party.
258
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:11,029
KIMMY Um, and my mom just loved to cook.
She would cook up a storm.
259
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:16,101
And, uh, there'd be everything,
you know, turkey and stuffing
260
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:20,004
and mashed potatoes. She would
separate the white meat from the
261
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:24,943
dark meat. I mean it was an art.
There was corn, kimchee
262
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,113
[LAUGHTER].
There was always kimchee.
263
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,781
RICK (OS)
So Dylan, what do you do?
264
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,250
DYLAN I'm a high-end dog washer.
265
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,186
JESSE He is the pup
pamperer to the stars.
266
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:38,423
RICK I did not know there was
a, a high end to the business.
267
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,926
DYLAN There's an entire ecosystem
of doggie care in Los Angeles.
268
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,728
RICK Yeah, I mean I've seen
the vans that drive around.
269
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,431
DYLAN No, most of my clients
have an extra bathroom dedicated
270
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,834
to canine cleaning. My dogs
are the one percent.
271
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,203
RICK: Hmm. How long have
you been doing this?
272
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,972
DYLAN Almost 15 years.
273
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:58,376
RICK Wow. Jesse you are, uh,
you're in the dog world, yeah?
274
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,246
JESSE Uh, well, you know, rescue.
Like I save them,
275
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,948
he soaks them, you know, I'm
gonna go for reinforcements.
276
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,049
JESSE You good? DYLAN Good.
277
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:05,850
RICK No we're good.
278
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:11,022
KIMMY With the world being so
overstimulated I feel like
279
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:15,260
Thanksgiving is a time to really
just disconnect from all that
280
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:19,998
and, um, really reconnect
with what's important.
281
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,201
SHANE Does your work normally
make you feel connected?
282
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,103
You're a sports journalist.
283
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,971
I mean you interact
with people all day.
284
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,375
KIMMY Well you would think that.
But it, it, uh, somehow
285
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,744
has the opposite effect.
286
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:38,183
KIMMY I get all these online
comments about my articles. Um,
287
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:44,389
from anonymous icons and names.
And they're really aggressive,
288
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:48,526
just really violent. You know,
and, uh, what's worse some of
289
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:54,499
them are actually totally racist
and sexist. You wouldn't believe
290
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,068
some of the ugly things people
have to say. They're just
291
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,938
complete strangers, they don't
even know who I am.
292
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:07,940
JUDY Uh, gorgeous. Okay. Now,
I will make a tent, okay.
293
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:11,983
If you say so.
294
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,490
JUDY Hey, KATE Hey, So...
295
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,492
JUDY Look at my tent.
296
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,561
KATE I guess you skipped
that class at Barnard, huh?
297
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,863
JUDY I guess I did.
298
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,130
KATE So what's that smoky smell?
299
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,199
JUDY Uh, it's the oven. I
haven't used it in years.
300
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,969
KATE Nice, so turkey cordon
dust and spider webs.
301
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:31,970
Very local ingredients.
302
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:36,140
JUDY Listen, I am proud of this bird.
Look at this turkey.
303
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,244
Is that a good-looking
turkey? Huh? Handsome.
304
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:43,815
KATE I take you more for the,
uh, takeout turkey type.
305
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,283
JUDY Did you bring
the cranberry sauce?
306
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,352
KATE Yes I did.
307
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,190
What, I can't compete
with Whole Foods.
308
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,926
JUDY You said you were gonna
make cranberry sauce.
309
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,262
KATE No, I didn't. I haven't
used my kitchen since Bush won.
310
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,496
JUDY No, you did, you said
you were gonna make it.
311
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,833
And I have the evidence right
here. And I quote I will
312
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,601
wrangle up the cranberry sauce.
313
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:08,106
KATE Exactly. I wrangled up
the cranberry sauce. Come on,
314
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,107
you know I don't cook.
315
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,608
JUDY I wanted it to be homemade.
316
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,543
I wanted it to be
beautiful and perfect
317
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,079
KATE Nobody eats it anyway.
It's just decoration.
318
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,848
Now give your sister
a hug, come on.
319
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:17,949
JUDY Oh no. KATE Come On.
320
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,484
JUDY Hey look it, wish bones.
321
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,619
KATE Yeah. JUDY Mine's bigger.
322
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,423
KIMMY Well yeah, I guess it's
better that they take it out on me
323
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,426
SHANE Yeah, I've heard about
that in America. Yours is
324
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,094
a sort of brutish nation...
325
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,863
KIMMY Sorry, can we hold
for a second. Jesse?
326
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,032
JESSE Hi. KIMMY So
nice to see you.
327
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:37,235
KIMM Oh. Uh, this is Shane.
He's a friend of your sister's.
328
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,871
He's uh-an artist from Britain.
329
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,040
SHANE Hey Jesse.
330
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,608
JESSE Nice to meet you,
how... uh, Britain.
331
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:47,245
JESSE Um, I, I love,
uh, I love BBC America
332
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,247
and also nationalized
healthcare.
333
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,982
SHANE
Yeah, don't forget Big Ben.
334
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,450
JESSE
What's going on here, in this,
335
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,552
looks like sex,
lies and videotapes.
336
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,120
KIMMY Maybe two out of three.
337
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,956
SHANE Yeah if you have a loose
definition of videotape.
338
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,224
I'm actually interviewing
Americans about Thanksgiving.
339
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,026
KIMMY Yeah, come sit with us.
340
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,395
JESSE Oh no, no. I'm,
I'm, I'm too shy.
341
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,031
SHANE No, no, come on, I'll,
uh, I'll loosen you up.
342
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,367
KATE I thought uh-stuffing was
just spiced, soggy bread.
343
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,437
JUDY No, it is, um, what is it called?
Aunt Marjoram's
344
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,341
fall bounty stuffing. It's from
Vintage Eats dot com.
345
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:19,677
Ooh. Vintage, one of
my favorite euphemisms.
346
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:24,482
JUDY like that then I have the
uh, vegan tofu stuffing from
347
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,050
Lizzy Emerald's website.
348
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:29,487
KATE Wow. Two novelty stuffings,
you're such a show off
349
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,488
[JUDY CLICKS HER TONGUE]
350
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,990
Hey. ZOE Well hi Auntie K.
351
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:32,557
LILY We're just-ZOE Hey mom.
352
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:36,694
KATE So how's the ivy league, huh?
Is it worth the 50k?
353
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,564
ZOE Oh, I'm on scholarship,
you know that. [LAUGHTER]
354
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,933
KATE So what's a scholarship
buy you this year?
355
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:45,303
ZOE I am taking two
classes this semester.
356
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,971
LILY Oh eeh.
357
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,974
ZOE Comparative literature
and advanced French theory.
358
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,443
KATE
You are your mother's daughter.
359
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:56,280
JUDY And I am the proudest
mother in the whole wide world.
360
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,983
JUDY Love you, best girls
in the whole wide world.
361
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,285
JUDY Ooh, look it, it's
my own Susan Sontag.
362
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,286
ZOE Oh mom.
363
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:03,955
JUDY Come on, everybody
needs a hero.
364
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,390
ZOE Okay, I will be
by the pool reading.
365
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,657
LILY
Yeah, I'm gonna go to my room.
366
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:07,658
JUDY Okay bye.
367
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,961
JUDY I'll let you know when
the appetizers get here.
368
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,496
LILY All right, thanks mama.
369
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,264
JUDY Oh, I did good
on those girls.
370
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,666
KATE You know they only love
you because you feed them?
371
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:32,350
CAR GPS Input not recognized.
372
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,419
GINA Why are you doing this to me.
Turn right
373
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,486
and then make a U turn.
374
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,522
GINA I'm getting confused again.
375
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,756
CAR GPS Five hundred feet.
376
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,557
GINA What?
377
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,059
CAR GPS U turn now.
378
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,393
GINA No back.
379
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,562
CAR GPS Call voice mail.
GINA Back.
380
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,264
GINA Call Judy.
381
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:51,502
CAR GPS Your input was not understood.
Phone options are call, hang up,
382
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:55,006
(GPS) Entry and back. No, no no.
No no no!
383
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:58,643
Call Doctor Brandhog
Back, back call Judy.
384
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,245
KATE It's always weird when
the parents ask me out.
385
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,714
'Cause it's like are they
flattering me or are they
386
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:04,715
bribing me?
387
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,017
JUDY Is that even allowed?
388
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:08,419
KATE You know, I've been single
so long, it doesn't even matter.
389
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,789
I just roll with whatever rolls
by. When you're in my position
390
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:15,359
you have to have a take what you
can get attitude. You'll see.
391
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,662
JUDY Yeah, I'm not really
that into dating just yet
392
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,164
KATE Well you better hurry
up, because the dating
393
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:23,334
pool is draining fast. So
get going. And it takes a long
394
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,703
time to meet people, so you
need to set the ground work.
395
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,339
JUDY You know what, okay I, I
got to admit it, okay. Maybe I
396
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:32,477
have set a little ground work. I
have been, uh, dabbling in the
397
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,479
online thing, Date Me dot com.
398
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:35,780
Date Me dot com? Yeah...
399
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:39,283
KATE Is the garage sale at seven p.m.
of online dating.
400
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,551
JUDY No, don't tell me that.
Yeah.
401
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,286
I think some of
those guys seems nice.
402
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:46,324
KATE Yeah, if you like liars,
phonies, scam artists.
403
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:49,594
I mean Pony Play? You
heard about that yet?
404
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,263
JUDY That is, you're
being paranoid.
405
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,565
KATE No, I am not. I was
obsessed with it for a while.
406
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:58,369
And trust me I have more
stories than Scheherazade.
407
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,771
SHANE Kimmy was telling me
that Thanksgiving is an
408
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:05,743
opportunity for her to
reconnect with, with connection.
409
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:09,547
Do you feel the same way? What
makes you feel disconnected?
410
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:14,519
JESSE Uh, disconnect.
Um - -. Okay, um,
411
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:18,689
I- I have a very intense
relationship with my email.
412
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:23,327
And ironically that makes
me feel disconnected.
413
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:27,698
SHANE Okay. Tell me about
your email dysfunction?
414
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:32,436
JESSE Just, um, well mostly I
just, I just check my email
415
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:35,473
over and over and over again.
Where even I think it's crazy
416
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:39,243
Because nothing is coming in.
But then something does come in.
417
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:45,283
And even if it's like spam
or an ad or whatever,
418
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:49,353
I just feel - - validated.
419
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,889
KATE Why can't we all
just become lesbians?
420
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,559
And buy a winery
in Napa? [LAUGHTER]
421
00:19:54,561 --> 00:20:01,599
KATE Yes. And we'll grow biodynamic
grapes and, and make Grenache
422
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,702
and we'll convert a barn
into an art studio.
423
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,705
JUDY Oh that sounds delish. Uh,
you may be right about the whole
424
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,374
lesbian thing. Because I never
felt more popular than when I
425
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,677
was up for head curator at the
O'Keefe Institute.
426
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:17,748
KATE See? The only problem is
all lesbians are married now.
427
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,417
KATE I mean truly there's
428
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,718
The good ones. [LAUGHS]
no such thing...
429
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,321
KATE There is no such thing
as a good old lesbian.
430
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,889
I mean who's single.
431
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:25,656
JUDY Yeah.
432
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,893
JESSE And I try to put these
restrictions on it. Like,
433
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:32,797
um, you can only download once
every four hours. Or just some
434
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:37,702
arbitrary number. But then work
calls, some freelance gig and
435
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:40,171
they need it right away. So.
436
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:43,474
SHANE Mm-hmm. And, uh, you
know, because your work
437
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,776
is connected to your email.
438
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:48,879
JESSE Yeah, yeah, I'm like sitting
in front of my computer all day.
439
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,182
So it's like, it's like I'm
tempted every single second
440
00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:56,254
of the day. I don't even know
what I'm looking for or waiting
441
00:20:56,256 --> 00:21:01,926
for or hoping is gonna come
in. because the truth is
442
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,997
nothing important or
interesting is coming in.
443
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,704
JUDY I am optimistic
about my opportunities.
444
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,740
KATE Well you should be,
'cause you always had better
445
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,408
luck with men than I did.
446
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,844
JUDY What are you talking about?
You had tons of boyfriends.
447
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,647
KATE Yeah but they weren't
like your boyfriends.
448
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,215
They weren't like James.
449
00:21:24,217 --> 00:21:28,886
JUDY James. Holy shit [LAUGHTER],
where did you pull that from?
450
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,755
JESSE Yeah but it makes me
so upset when something
451
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:34,292
personal ends up in my spam
folder. Although, sometimes I'll
452
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,460
just, I'll just like approve
spam just so that I get
453
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:40,798
more mail. I Mean not, not spam
exactly, more just like ads.
454
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,600
And things like that, things
that, you know, other people
455
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:46,304
might not want to receive. I
just can't help it, I just like
456
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,906
it. I really like it. I like
having all this stuff in my
457
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,976
inbox. I am sort of pro spam.
458
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,711
KATE I had such a crush on him.
459
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,747
JUDY God, don't tell me.
Did he die?
460
00:21:56,749 --> 00:22:00,718
KATE No worse. He's bald.
Completely bald.
461
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,286
JUDY Oh well that is
far worse than death.
462
00:22:02,288 --> 00:22:06,724
KATE Yeah, a bald eagle,
a, a billiard ball, bald.
463
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:10,528
KATE Google images. Yeah,
I was cyberstalking him.
464
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,763
JUDY Okay, you're a little
tiny bit sick [LAUGHTER].
465
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:18,302
God. Oh James. He had such a
thick head of hair. I can't
466
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:21,605
believe it, he's bald. Oh and
he was such a stallion.
467
00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:22,973
KATE Now he's a bald stallion.
468
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,009
It sounds like a movie,
The Bald Stallion.
469
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,278
JUDY I believe the movie
was the Black Stallion.
470
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,980
KATE The bald black stallion.
That reminds me of a
471
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:32,783
one-night stand
I had in Algiers.
472
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:33,984
JUDY What?
473
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,287
KATE You don't know
everything about me.
474
00:22:36,289 --> 00:22:39,490
SHANE What would you imagine
life would be like if you
475
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:41,559
stopped receiving emails?
476
00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:50,634
JESSE I think that would be death.
If people stopped trying to reach
477
00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:54,705
me that would be like
a death of sorts.
478
00:22:55,540 --> 00:23:00,711
SHANE So would you say your
life's value is dependent on,
479
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:02,847
on the attention of others?
480
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:06,417
JESSE Hmm, that's [LAUGHTER]
481
00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:11,889
Uh. I suddenly feel like
I have said too much.
482
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,558
Want me to talk
about Thanksgiving?
483
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,628
God, I hate cranberry sauce,
it's-it tastes like medicine.
484
00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:20,331
SHANE No I, I much prefer
hearing about your, uh,
485
00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:23,367
junky-esque all-consuming
need for, for email love.
486
00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:24,735
JUDY Jesse, mom's here. What?
487
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:26,437
SHANE It makes you, sounds like a...
Shit!
488
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:28,005
JESSE Sorry go ahead.
489
00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:30,074
SHANE
Like a walking Radiohead album.
490
00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:33,444
JESSE I'm a creep.
491
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,014
JUDY Why didn't you park in the driveway?
[LAUGHTER]
492
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:40,384
GINA Well I thought maybe you wanted
that parking space for a guest.
493
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:41,452
JUDY Well what are
you not a guest?
494
00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:42,620
[LAUGHTER]
495
00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:44,622
JUDY Hey. GINA Hi.
496
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:45,890
JUDY Where's your car?
497
00:23:45,892 --> 00:23:48,726
GINA Oh it's way down there.
498
00:23:48,728 --> 00:23:51,362
JUDY
What? You walked in the heels?
499
00:23:51,364 --> 00:23:55,433
GINA Don't talk about the car, okay.
Because I hate that car.
500
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:58,569
I am so angry with
that car right now.
501
00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:00,905
JUDY What happened?
502
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:05,042
GINA The navigation system.
It turned me around again.
503
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:08,879
JUDY Oh god you know those things
are always unreliable. Do you-
504
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:10,147
Do you think you
should be driving?
505
00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:14,485
GINA I drive just fine. I
shouldn't be listening to that
506
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:16,420
ridiculous contraption in there.
507
00:24:16,422 --> 00:24:19,790
JUDY I could have had one of the
girls pick you up. What is that?
508
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:26,063
It's some homemade cranberry
sauce. I know, you told me, but,
509
00:24:26,065 --> 00:24:27,998
uh, you know, you don't
have to use it.
510
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,967
JUDY No, no, no. You don't
understand-[LAUGHTER
511
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:31,402
You saved the day. What?
512
00:24:31,404 --> 00:24:33,404
I did? How did you know?
513
00:24:33,406 --> 00:24:34,605
Oh, she got canned.
514
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,106
Canned. [LAUGHTER]
515
00:24:36,108 --> 00:24:38,742
GINA That's my daughter all
right, she's been half-assing it
516
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:40,978
since she was a toddler.
517
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:41,979
JUDY She's great
518
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:44,014
BERT Hey, is this Julie's house?
519
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:45,983
JUDY
Judy. Ju... it's, uh, I'm Judy.
520
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,685
JUDY This, this is my house.
Judy
521
00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:51,689
Right, I'm Bert, a
friend of Shane's.
522
00:24:51,691 --> 00:24:54,124
JUDY Oh that's right, I'm sorry.
He did-he told me you were coming.
523
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:56,560
BERT Yeah. I'm here.
524
00:24:56,562 --> 00:24:57,595
JUDY Yes, you are.
525
00:24:57,597 --> 00:25:00,631
Yeah, so is dinner served?
526
00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:04,001
JUDY Not - - not quite yet. I,
I'm, I'm working on it though.
527
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,537
Maybe uh-90 minutes?
I don't know.
528
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:08,105
You have to be some place?
Oh. okay
529
00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:11,575
Well, no, I-I wouldn't
have been so early.
530
00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:12,676
I was at the gym. I could
have finished my workout.
531
00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:15,112
GINA Oh I gotta lose
ten pounds in a week.
532
00:25:15,114 --> 00:25:16,113
Ten pounds.
533
00:25:16,115 --> 00:25:17,114
In a week, yeah.
534
00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:18,816
GINA [LAUGHTER] You're
gonna disappear.
535
00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:22,653
BERT Why would you say
disap-I'm not gonna disappear.
536
00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:23,521
Why would you say that?
537
00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:25,089
GINA No, no, no. I just-
538
00:25:25,091 --> 00:25:26,590
JUDY I don't think that
she meant GINA: you
539
00:25:26,592 --> 00:25:28,759
really gonna... I mean
you, look just fine.
540
00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:31,095
BERT Not gonna disappear-
No, it's for a show.
541
00:25:31,097 --> 00:25:33,464
I, I'm doing a, a show. I'm sure
Shane told you about it?
542
00:25:33,466 --> 00:25:34,832
JUDY Oh right, right, right.
You are the actor.
543
00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:36,467
BERT I am the actor, yes.
GINA Right.
544
00:25:36,469 --> 00:25:41,071
BERT I'm playing an English boxer.
With a left hook, from Leeds.
545
00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:43,741
BERT Yeah, yeah. That's how I met Shane.
I'm studying the accent.
546
00:25:43,743 --> 00:25:45,009
JUDY Mm-hmm. BERT A
friend introduced us
547
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:48,145
JUDY Well sounds like you have
quite an ear. That's terrific.
548
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:52,483
JUDY Good for you. Uh, by the
way this is, uh, Bert, this is
549
00:25:52,485 --> 00:25:53,250
my mother, Gina.
550
00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:54,919
BERT Oh, yo.
551
00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:57,221
GINA Yeah, yo.
552
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:59,223
JUDY Okay why don't
we, uh, come in.
553
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,505
BERT Did you make some stuffing?
554
00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:04,495
KIMMY: Oh it's your mom. JUDY: Well
got to get back in the kitchen
555
00:26:04,497 --> 00:26:06,096
JESSE One at seven. ALL Hi!
556
00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:07,565
GINA Baby, oh.
557
00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:09,667
SHANE Hey buddy.
558
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:17,141
CHATTER IN BACKGROUND
[INAUDIBLE]
559
00:26:22,047 --> 00:26:23,847
JUDY Well keep making me
look good, little brother.
560
00:26:23,849 --> 00:26:24,882
SHANE We didn't really finish.
561
00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,550
GINA (OS)
So what's going on in here?
562
00:26:26,552 --> 00:26:29,286
JUDY Oh. uh, you know what, I'll
explain it all to you inside.
563
00:26:29,288 --> 00:26:30,888
Oh Let's get this in the fridge.
564
00:26:30,890 --> 00:26:31,922
Okay. Okay?
565
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:32,890
I'm gonna help.
566
00:26:32,892 --> 00:26:36,660
JUDY Uh-yes we do have a bathroom
[LAUGHS] It's right down there.
567
00:26:36,662 --> 00:26:37,861
GINA(OS) Darling.
KATE (OS) Hey Mom.
568
00:26:37,863 --> 00:26:39,697
GINA You.
569
00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:40,864
KATE Hi.
570
00:26:40,866 --> 00:26:42,800
JUDY You might want
to come and join us.
571
00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:44,201
JUDY Okay. JESSE Two minutes.
572
00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:48,906
GINA Whoa, you have
been very busy in here.
573
00:26:48,908 --> 00:26:51,241
JUDY I know it, it, it looks like
a mess but there is actually
574
00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:53,677
a method to my madness.
575
00:26:53,679 --> 00:26:57,815
My pie crusts are gonna be silky
smooth and I have two stuffings.
576
00:26:57,817 --> 00:27:00,284
Count them, two, that
are about to go in.
577
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:04,154
And mister turkey is in here
getting all golden brown.
578
00:27:04,156 --> 00:27:06,724
And oh by the way mom
saved the day, she
579
00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:08,993
made homemade cranberry sauce.
580
00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:13,130
[GRUNTS] I'm a boxer
from Leeds. [GRUNTS]
581
00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:18,736
Yeah. [GRUNTS] I'll mess you up.
[GRUTNS] Yeah. Oh good.
582
00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:22,039
JESSE (OS) It sounds weird but it makes
me feel like I'm in control or like
583
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:25,676
I'm, I'm like this guy with a
purpose. Oh, you know what,
584
00:27:25,678 --> 00:27:30,114
um, actually I have to-
I'm, it, it's like a work thing.
585
00:27:30,116 --> 00:27:33,884
SHANE We have uh-a treasure trove
of material we can come back to
586
00:27:33,886 --> 00:27:36,820
JESSE Oh great, yeah, yeah,
yeah, just pick me up any time.
587
00:27:36,822 --> 00:27:38,789
Or we'll pick it up any time.
588
00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:41,725
JESSE Yeah, email.
Email as we've talked.
589
00:27:41,727 --> 00:27:42,926
Yeah. That's great, Ok.
SHANE Yeah
590
00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:46,797
BERT Fuck. Fuck, what is your
face doing there, buddy?
591
00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:49,967
No too fat. Jesus Christ,
you need a fucking nose job,
592
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,035
what is-?
593
00:27:51,369 --> 00:27:53,904
KATE Happy day, mom, happy day.
Thanks.
594
00:27:53,906 --> 00:27:56,640
JESSE Hi, I didn't know
you were here. Hey
595
00:27:56,642 --> 00:27:58,842
The baby boy.
596
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:02,246
I know I didn't
say hi properly. Wow.
597
00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:04,848
GINA Well, um, do you want me to
do some dishes? You'll have a
598
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,150
little bit more work space.
599
00:28:06,152 --> 00:28:07,851
JUDY No, I don't want
you to do any dishes.
600
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,753
I don't want you to
do anything at all.
601
00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:10,287
Jesse.
602
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:13,223
I snuck a little bite
of your pared rum and it
603
00:28:13,225 --> 00:28:15,125
was kind of fantastic
604
00:28:15,127 --> 00:28:18,028
JESSE Of course it was. Although I
do have to say it was between that
605
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,697
and an apple pan dowdy.
606
00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:23,233
JUDY Oh I can't imagine you making
anything called a pan dowdy.
607
00:28:23,235 --> 00:28:24,902
Maybe a brown Betty.
608
00:28:24,904 --> 00:28:27,171
JESSE Ooh, I love me a brown Betty.
I actually,
609
00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:30,307
somewhat unsurprisingly, know a
drag queen named Brown Betty.
610
00:28:30,309 --> 00:28:31,075
JUDY Of course you do.
611
00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:33,343
KATE What are you
guys talking about?
612
00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:36,680
JUDY We are talking about
cakes and pies and tarts.
613
00:28:36,682 --> 00:28:38,649
JESSE Pastries and for...
614
00:28:38,651 --> 00:28:40,350
KATE Who are you? What have
you done with my family?
615
00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:42,086
[INDISTINCT]
616
00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:44,154
JUDY No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, mom,
617
00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:46,290
I told you I don't want you
doing that. I don't want you
618
00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:48,659
doing that. Go have
a drink you guys.
619
00:28:48,661 --> 00:28:50,861
Now you're talking. Come on mom.
620
00:28:50,863 --> 00:28:55,432
JUDY Of course I do. Thanksgiving
is about the two Toms
621
00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:58,302
ALL TOGETHER
Tom Turkey and Tom Collins.
622
00:28:58,304 --> 00:29:00,938
That's right. That's my kids.
623
00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:02,906
Come on, let me make you one.
624
00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,241
GINA Yeah, I almost got lost.
625
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:05,876
JESSE I'm gonna catch up with
you guys in two seconds.
626
00:29:05,878 --> 00:29:09,780
JESSE Oh my god what is the
huge, giant emergency?
627
00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:13,851
DYLAN I turned on Bottom Feeder,
Rick's on it, shirtless.
628
00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:16,887
DYLAN It said the guy
was eight feet away.
629
00:29:17,856 --> 00:29:19,156
JESSE Well how, how, how
do you know it's him?
630
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:21,024
DYLAN It looked like a torso
that could belong to him.
631
00:29:21,026 --> 00:29:23,293
And it said his
tribe is discreet.
632
00:29:23,295 --> 00:29:25,395
JESSE Was that English hipster on there?
You know, I've
633
00:29:25,397 --> 00:29:29,333
DYLAN No, next closest guy is
a thousand and 32 feet away,
634
00:29:29,335 --> 00:29:31,802
78 years old and likes
P and P and NSA.
635
00:29:31,804 --> 00:29:34,338
JESSE Fuck, I mean did
you message the torso?
636
00:29:34,340 --> 00:29:37,241
DYLAN I'm thinking about it.
He's hot, and smart.
637
00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:40,177
JESSE No, no, because what about Georgia?
I mean she
638
00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:42,813
gave up so much for
him, her entire career.
639
00:29:42,815 --> 00:29:44,214
DYLAN Who's Georgia?
640
00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:45,949
JESSE [MUMBLING]
That's Georgia. That Georgia
641
00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:48,185
DYLAN Oh she's really pretty. If I
liked girls I'd be all over that.
642
00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:50,954
JESSE You and Rick really do have
a lot in common, apparently.
643
00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:54,091
GEORGIA Hi boys, why don't you
come in here and keep me company?
644
00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:57,461
JESSE Oh my god. Just
act really casual. Oh.
645
00:29:57,463 --> 00:30:01,498
GINA I just use it to tune out,
because I just want to be told
646
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:05,803
what to do. 'Cause I don't like
thinking when I'm driving.
647
00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:08,338
KATE Probably not what the
GPS people had in mind.
648
00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:14,511
GINA It's so depressing to get lost, Kate.
It worries me.
649
00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:16,346
That my mind is going.
650
00:30:16,348 --> 00:30:18,315
KATE That's how I am every
single day, and I'm not even
651
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:20,117
menopausal, much.
652
00:30:20,119 --> 00:30:23,453
GINA It wouldn't bother me either
if people didn't just come flying
653
00:30:23,455 --> 00:30:28,058
at me like that. They just
whizz on by like crazy people.
654
00:30:28,060 --> 00:30:30,894
It can make your head spin. It
makes mine spin.
655
00:30:30,896 --> 00:30:33,030
KATE You should see the kids at school.
I mean they are
656
00:30:33,032 --> 00:30:35,532
so speeded up by the internet
And they're all on Adderall
657
00:30:35,534 --> 00:30:38,335
so it cracks them out even more.
You know, they can't even read
658
00:30:38,337 --> 00:30:41,972
a short story. We've
completely given up on novels.
659
00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:44,241
GEORGIA Hi.
660
00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:48,245
GEORGIA Oh thank you, I figured
I'd do something with my
661
00:30:48,247 --> 00:30:49,980
unused creative talents.
662
00:30:49,982 --> 00:30:53,250
JESSE Um, I'm sorry, uh,
this is my friend Dylan.
663
00:30:53,252 --> 00:30:55,886
GEORGIA Hi, Dylan. I saw you
guys conspiring over there.
664
00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:59,289
What's going on? Whose boyfriend
ran off with somebody else, huh?
665
00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:00,824
What's going on? Tell me.
666
00:31:00,826 --> 00:31:02,125
JESSE No, no secrets.
667
00:31:02,127 --> 00:31:02,960
DYLAN No gay secrets.
668
00:31:02,962 --> 00:31:07,231
GEORGIA Okay well that's a bummer,
I wanted some gossip. Uh, Jesse?
669
00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:08,131
JESSE Yeah.
670
00:31:08,133 --> 00:31:13,537
JESSE Fine. I mean, you know, fine.
Good. Just work, email, work,
671
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:16,240
email, work, email.
Cheating at paleo, email.
672
00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:20,043
KATE Getting kids to read
books was always a chore.
673
00:31:20,045 --> 00:31:22,946
So it's easier just to have
given up on it completely.
674
00:31:22,948 --> 00:31:27,251
GINA Now that is sad. What's
gonna happen to books?
675
00:31:27,253 --> 00:31:31,989
KATE: I mean even the word book has
a negative connotation to it now.
676
00:31:31,991 --> 00:31:34,958
You know we're thinking of
assigning graphic novels?
677
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,394
Comic books, to fool them.
678
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:41,365
Sort of a literary bait and
switch for these dark times.
679
00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:43,500
GINA Oh. If you ask me,
680
00:31:43,502 --> 00:31:48,405
I think we're raising
a society of nincompoops.
681
00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,140
KATE Strong thumbed nincompoops.
682
00:31:53,044 --> 00:31:55,612
GINA What do you suppose
he's doing over there?
683
00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:57,848
KATE Case in point.
684
00:31:57,850 --> 00:32:02,319
GEORGIA Fine too, not working.
Distracted husband.
685
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:05,856
Expiring biological clock.
686
00:32:05,858 --> 00:32:09,092
JESSE Yeah, I, I-I mean I thought
things were going really well
687
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,428
for you. Judy always brags
about how great you're doing...
688
00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,931
GEORGIA You know what, I, I got
caught up in the LA lifestyle.
689
00:32:13,933 --> 00:32:16,934
I stopped taking gigs, I started
doing Pilates, my career is
690
00:32:16,936 --> 00:32:19,636
going nowhere. But I have a
seriously strong core.
691
00:32:20,905 --> 00:32:26,143
GINA What about you? How are you,
sweetheart? Are you happy? Huh?
692
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:29,313
Yeah. I'm so happy to see you.
693
00:32:29,315 --> 00:32:32,582
KATE Oh well, I'm, I'm as
well as can be expected, mom.
694
00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,518
GINA Oh I'm so happy
to hear that.
695
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:40,357
KATE Yeah. But Judy, Judy's having
a hard time with this divorce.
696
00:32:40,359 --> 00:32:43,427
GINA That man was a
millstone around her neck.
697
00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:45,896
But he sure made
beautiful babies.
698
00:32:45,898 --> 00:32:46,964
[LAUGHTER]. [clink]
699
00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:50,000
KATE I'd give anything
for a millstone.
700
00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:54,471
GINA Oh stop it. You've had so
many opportunities. You've always
701
00:32:54,473 --> 00:33:00,477
been a free spirit. Always.
That's what you are.
702
00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:02,446
A free spirit. It's
such a nice Yeah.
703
00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,514
Way of saying free
on a Friday night.
704
00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,383
DYLAN
How, how did you meet Judy?
705
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:10,620
GEORGIA She reviewed a show of mine
back when I was doing fine art
706
00:33:10,622 --> 00:33:11,621
a hundred years ago.
707
00:33:11,623 --> 00:33:13,490
They were New York City gal pals.
Yeah.
708
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:14,691
How 'Sex in The City'
709
00:33:14,693 --> 00:33:16,326
Oh Samantha, Really.
710
00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:17,594
Guilty as charged.
711
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:19,062
[LAUGHTER]
712
00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:23,066
DYLAN And then you moved to
LA and settled down? Why?
713
00:33:23,068 --> 00:33:26,570
GEORGIA Oh you know, the reason,
it's always the same reason, a guy.
714
00:33:26,572 --> 00:33:29,373
JESSE Yeah but I mean Rick is
like, he's kind of a good reason.
715
00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:32,109
I mean you like
being married to Rick?
716
00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:38,382
GEORGIA Yes. Um, marriage is
a process of self-discovery.
717
00:33:41,987 --> 00:33:45,288
PETRA Mm-hmm. This will
take just a nanosecond.
718
00:33:45,290 --> 00:33:47,057
DAVID No, I, I can't fix
it unless you hold it.
719
00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:50,594
DAVID Ah, wait, you know bending
down like this hurts my back.
720
00:33:50,596 --> 00:33:52,596
PETRA Well my readers
need to know about this.
721
00:33:52,598 --> 00:33:54,197
It's my responsibility.
722
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:57,467
DAVID: Are you using your ethnic
avatar or your white one this time?
723
00:33:57,469 --> 00:34:00,303
PETRA [LAUGHTER] Honey Girl
21 is for Hayneedle only.
724
00:34:00,305 --> 00:34:01,671
I'm white everywhere else.
You know that.
725
00:34:01,673 --> 00:34:03,140
DAVID How could I forget that?
726
00:34:03,142 --> 00:34:07,044
DAVID Do I have a choice? Ah,
you know what, maybe it's not
727
00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:08,578
bending down-Maybe
it's just you.
728
00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:13,283
PETRA Ignoring that. "Mommy monster here.
Just pulling up to T-day"
729
00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,653
dinner and the new cart turns
out to be a T-urd. See the pics
730
00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:20,057
below. Now on to Yelp to
collapse this cart out of
731
00:34:20,059 --> 00:34:22,459
"business." [LAUGHTER]
What do you think?
732
00:34:22,461 --> 00:34:25,128
DAVID Oh that's great, you're
like the Ralph Nader of Amazon.
733
00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:29,733
PETRA Ralph Nader of Amazon.
Oh, I like that.
734
00:34:29,735 --> 00:34:32,135
Yeah, just a second, I got to
post this on Yelp now.
735
00:34:32,137 --> 00:34:34,471
DAVID Jesus, honey, we're already late.
Your guacamole's
736
00:34:34,473 --> 00:34:35,572
gonna turn brown.
737
00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:38,642
PETRA
The guac can wait. This can't.
738
00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:52,456
ZOE Where was I. Oh I love this part.
"At the bottom of her"
739
00:34:52,458 --> 00:34:56,359
heart, however, she was waiting
for something to happen. Like
740
00:34:56,361 --> 00:34:59,329
shipwrecked sailors she turned
despairing eyes upon the
741
00:34:59,331 --> 00:35:04,167
solitude of her life. Seeking a
far off, some white sail in
742
00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:06,069
"the mists of the horizon."
743
00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:12,109
♪ MYSTICAL WESTERN FILM MUSIC
744
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,615
SHANE And its got that real feel.
KATE It's the oil. The olive oil.
745
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:19,649
KATE It makes-looks like an oil.
746
00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:24,254
KATE Oh well this is a triple martini.
No one talks
747
00:35:24,256 --> 00:35:25,789
about it, but the pilgrims
were plastered.
748
00:35:25,791 --> 00:35:28,291
SHANE Uh-the pilgrims and the
Indians that's the thing.
749
00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:30,193
Oh, sorry. I'm Shane.
750
00:35:30,195 --> 00:35:33,530
Uh-huh, I'm Kate, Judy's sister.
GINA Hello.
751
00:35:33,532 --> 00:35:34,831
KATE And this is our mom, Gina.
752
00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:37,200
Hello. SHANE Ah, the queen
mother, nice to meet you.
753
00:35:37,202 --> 00:35:38,602
SHANE Happy turkey
leg as they say.
754
00:35:38,604 --> 00:35:44,841
GINA Thanks. Shane, huh? Now that
is a real solid name. Did you ever
755
00:35:44,843 --> 00:35:48,245
see the movie? The
old movie called Shane?
756
00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:51,548
GINA It was one of my favorites
when I was a little girl.
757
00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:52,782
SHANE I've heard of it,
but I've not seen it.
758
00:35:52,784 --> 00:35:55,619
It's something about a, uh,
heroic dog, isn't it?
759
00:35:55,621 --> 00:35:59,289
GINA No, it, uh, how could
you not see a movie
760
00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:03,260
SHANE: It's just not very, uh,
popular in England, I don't think.
761
00:36:03,262 --> 00:36:07,364
GINA Did you ever see it, honey?
Oh come on, it's an old American
762
00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:11,835
classic. Oh, it's wonderful.
You'd both love it, I know.
763
00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:16,806
KATE Done. First thing on the to-do
list, right? Because we have
764
00:36:16,808 --> 00:36:19,876
so much time. I mean who
has time for anything.
765
00:36:19,878 --> 00:36:22,746
It takes a lot of time to
see an entire movie.
766
00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:24,347
SHANE What about TV?
767
00:36:24,349 --> 00:36:26,816
KATE I used to TiVo Guiding
Light, but they cancelled that.
768
00:36:26,818 --> 00:36:33,623
So I watch webisodes, YouTube
videos, you know, like a minute,
769
00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:37,761
two maybe. Who has time for
anything longer? Seriously, I'm,
770
00:36:37,763 --> 00:36:40,330
I'm busy online
doing other stuff.
771
00:36:40,332 --> 00:36:41,865
SHANE Doing what?
772
00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:44,668
KATE I do a little, uh,
online dating here and there.
773
00:36:44,670 --> 00:36:50,640
GINA I heard on The Today Show that
a lot of mature women are having
774
00:36:50,642 --> 00:36:52,409
great success meeting men.
775
00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:53,543
Mom. GINA On the web.
776
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:56,179
Mature is 35, I'm old.
777
00:36:56,181 --> 00:37:00,283
GINA You're not old. You're
just seasoned, baby.
778
00:37:00,285 --> 00:37:02,752
KATE I'm the seasons,
I'm many, many seasons.
779
00:37:02,754 --> 00:37:04,988
SHANE No, you are a
very enticing woman.
780
00:37:06,425 --> 00:37:10,627
GINA You know, they say there are
a lot of older men in the web as
781
00:37:10,629 --> 00:37:13,763
well. Aren't they looking
for girlfriends, hmm?
782
00:37:13,765 --> 00:37:17,400
KATE Why are you asking him? I'm on
there, day and night, all right.
783
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:21,271
There are no men. I think every
man has his filter set for
784
00:37:21,273 --> 00:37:26,610
under 50. And every man worth
dating under 30. The same 12 men
785
00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:29,412
keep popping up over and over
again. And they're really old,
786
00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:33,617
I mean they are really old
Methuselahs, okay? And so then I
787
00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:36,286
have to lie about my age. And I
do not think about it as lying,
788
00:37:36,288 --> 00:37:40,357
because I have to level the
playing field. I mean
789
00:37:40,359 --> 00:37:42,325
these men don't know who
I am. They don't know what a
790
00:37:42,327 --> 00:37:45,695
vibrant 50-year-old woman
I am. And I'm a giver.
791
00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:50,300
KATE I'm a giver. You want to date
a taker, date a 20 year old, okay.
792
00:37:50,302 --> 00:37:51,468
But I'm a giver.
793
00:37:51,470 --> 00:37:53,503
GINA Yes you are.
794
00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:56,339
KATE The male brain is
compartmentalized, right.
795
00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:59,943
So it can only focus on one
thing at a time. And they
796
00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:04,781
can never see the big picture.
That's science, Shane. But men
797
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:07,951
are vain, they're vain, they're
vain motherfuckers, I'm telling
798
00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:11,888
you. I mean they just sit there
and they think that young woman
799
00:38:11,890 --> 00:38:15,625
are gonna fall all over the
potbellied, silver-haired
800
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:19,329
KATE I mean do you ever see a
guy over 50 doing a sit-up?
801
00:38:19,331 --> 00:38:23,266
KATE Never. Do you ever see
them in spinning class?
802
00:38:23,268 --> 00:38:25,835
GINA Mm-mm. KATE No, never.
803
00:38:25,837 --> 00:38:30,640
KATE Hey, Rick, you go to
Soul Cycle lately? Pilates?
804
00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:33,510
We're having a
conversation, come here.
805
00:38:33,512 --> 00:38:36,346
RICK I, actually I'm just
kind of waiting for a call
806
00:38:36,348 --> 00:38:37,647
I'm, I'm gonna make
the call right now.
807
00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:40,550
KATE Alright-Yeah. Excuse me.
808
00:38:40,552 --> 00:38:43,420
Well he's not over 50, but you
know what I mean. That's the
809
00:38:43,422 --> 00:38:47,490
point. The whole thing is just
such a joke. It really is a joke
810
00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:48,958
GINA (OS) Is something
wrong, sweetheart?
811
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,529
KATE Hey, it's this cheap vodka
that makes me combative.
812
00:38:52,531 --> 00:38:55,432
My sister and her CVS booze.
813
00:38:55,434 --> 00:39:00,937
SHANE I love it. It's very Liz
Taylor circa, well, circa anytime
814
00:39:00,939 --> 00:39:01,938
I suppose. [LAUGHTER]
815
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:03,673
KATE So what's your story?
816
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:04,675
SHANE In terms of what?
817
00:39:05,776 --> 00:39:06,976
KATE Love.
818
00:39:06,978 --> 00:39:10,280
SHANE We don't talk about love in Britain.
I love the queen,
819
00:39:10,282 --> 00:39:11,614
that's all you're
gonna get out of me.
820
00:39:11,616 --> 00:39:12,949
GINA That's nice.
821
00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:14,317
KATE All right, well.
822
00:39:14,319 --> 00:39:15,618
GINA Is, is the queen single?
823
00:39:15,620 --> 00:39:17,654
SHANE: No, she's married
to Prince Phillip.
824
00:39:17,656 --> 00:39:19,322
KATE Of course she's
married to a prince,
825
00:39:19,324 --> 00:39:20,724
'cause she's a greedy bitch.
826
00:39:20,726 --> 00:39:24,661
SHANE Yeah. We love her anyway though.
And I always think a
827
00:39:24,663 --> 00:39:26,730
queen should be a little
bit greedy, you know.
828
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:32,869
KIMMY Some guy just tweeted
asking if I'm enjoying my eel
829
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:37,006
and teriyaki turkey. Who are
these people? Gun show 87.
830
00:39:37,008 --> 00:39:41,978
Give me a break.
Everything okay?
831
00:39:41,980 --> 00:39:44,948
JUDY No, everything is not okay.
My phone has chosen to abandon
832
00:39:44,950 --> 00:39:47,851
me in my hour of need. It says
no access to the Internet.
833
00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:49,552
KIMMY Okay, did you restart it?
834
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:50,787
JUDY Yes, Kimmy, I restarted it.
835
00:39:50,789 --> 00:39:52,922
KIMMY Hey, easy. Um, did
you check the settings?
836
00:39:52,924 --> 00:39:53,923
'Cause sometimes the settings
I don't know-I don't know
837
00:39:53,925 --> 00:39:54,924
are off. And you reset it?
From settings
838
00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:56,059
Well just okay, I just-
839
00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:57,427
It, it's just supposed to work.
840
00:39:57,429 --> 00:40:01,464
JUDY Okay, okay 'cause it, it's
an emergency. All the recipes for
841
00:40:01,466 --> 00:40:03,032
Thanksgiving are bookmarked
on there [LAUGHTER].
842
00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:04,334
It's coming back on.
843
00:40:04,336 --> 00:40:06,970
JUDY No, I know it comes on.
It's just I can't get online.
844
00:40:06,972 --> 00:40:08,471
KIMMY Okay don't worry
I'll get you back online.
845
00:40:08,473 --> 00:40:11,341
JUDY Okay please, please. If you
don't it's gonna be the worst
846
00:40:11,343 --> 00:40:14,911
Thanksgiving since the great
salmonella gravy scare of 1996.
847
00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:16,913
KIMMY We-go get it. I
will get you back online.
848
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:17,847
Okay. Okay.
849
00:40:17,849 --> 00:40:18,848
Okay.
850
00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:21,918
JUDY Stir that broth, it's for
the vegan turkey stuffing.
851
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:22,886
KIMMY Okay I got it. Go.
852
00:40:22,888 --> 00:40:30,888
Okay. Thank you Kimmy.
KIMMY Yes. Go, Go.
853
00:40:33,632 --> 00:40:36,900
[PHONE RINGS]
854
00:40:36,902 --> 00:40:44,007
KIMMY Hello? You did what? No, sorry
I, I can't hear you. Hang on,
855
00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:46,075
I'm going to go outside.
You're breaking up.
856
00:40:46,577 --> 00:40:47,610
DAVID Look like you
just-no, it's not-Hi.
857
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,612
PETRA Hey. Hi.
858
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,047
So good to see you honey.
Hey Judy, sorry we're late.
859
00:40:51,049 --> 00:40:55,952
Look how cute,
she's so big. [LAUGHTER].
860
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:56,820
PETRA I know, she is.
861
00:40:56,822 --> 00:40:57,687
JUDY I have a crisis.
862
00:40:57,689 --> 00:41:00,924
Well I, I can't get online on my phone.
DAVID What?
863
00:41:00,926 --> 00:41:04,828
JUDY ...bookmarked all the recipes
and if we don't get back on,
864
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,930
appetizers is all we're having.
865
00:41:06,932 --> 00:41:08,498
Honey that's not gonna
happen. I know that I'm late,
866
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,599
but I'm here now to help. okay
867
00:41:09,601 --> 00:41:10,667
David, set up
the cheese platter.
868
00:41:10,669 --> 00:41:14,537
Oh and take her
somewhere and park her.
869
00:41:14,539 --> 00:41:18,875
PETRA I, You, you know what I mean. God, I
mean I'm just Jewish men are so sensitive.
870
00:41:18,877 --> 00:41:20,610
JUDY Oh you stop it, it's
not that he's Jewish.
871
00:41:20,612 --> 00:41:21,778
PETRA He's stupid.
872
00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:22,846
See you at dinner.
873
00:41:24,515 --> 00:41:28,551
Come on, sweetie.
Oh, okay. Hello.
874
00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:30,687
Come on, baby, I might need
you to pick up the front.
875
00:41:30,689 --> 00:41:32,088
PETRA
What are we looking at first?
876
00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:34,891
JUDY Tofu stuffing from
Lizzie Emerald's website.
877
00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,793
PETRA
Ooh, you like Lizzie Emerald?
878
00:41:36,795 --> 00:41:38,828
Well she's supposed to
be a total bitch.
879
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,063
JUDY How do you know
something like that?
880
00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:41,965
PETRA Who's a bitch dot com.
881
00:41:41,967 --> 00:41:43,933
JUDY There is a website
called who's a bitch dot com?
882
00:41:43,935 --> 00:41:45,034
PETRA How do you not know that?
883
00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:46,035
JUDY
I don't know-'cause I'm not-
884
00:41:46,037 --> 00:41:47,036
PETRA Well I'm-
885
00:41:47,038 --> 00:41:48,771
JUDY Shi-my broth. Ooh, oh
886
00:41:48,773 --> 00:41:52,742
JUDY Yes I need it, it's for the stuffing.
Oh shit. Shit!
887
00:41:52,744 --> 00:41:53,810
PETRA Honey, I told you, you-
888
00:41:53,812 --> 00:41:56,479
PETRA Oh see I-you should
have done potluck. I'm just.
889
00:41:56,481 --> 00:42:00,049
JUDY I wanted a homemade, beautiful
Vintage Thanksgiving. You
890
00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:02,852
know what I mean, like. Making
things by hand. Nobody,
891
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:06,055
nobody makes things anymore.
It's all attach and send.
892
00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:07,490
And download. Oh
893
00:42:07,492 --> 00:42:09,792
Wow, is that supposed
to be happening?
894
00:42:09,794 --> 00:42:13,229
Wow. 550 seems really high.
No, no, no, no no. Please.
895
00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:14,797
JUDY Well there's no temperature
consensus online and-
896
00:42:14,799 --> 00:42:19,135
JUDY And I surveyed like
a dozen recipes. Shit.
897
00:42:19,137 --> 00:42:20,036
Ah. Oh...
898
00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:21,738
Oh no. Oh dear.
899
00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:24,774
PETRA Oh no, no, no, no. There's
no use crying over burnt turkey.
900
00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:29,913
JUDY No fuck turkey jerky.
I wanted juicy turkey.
901
00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:33,149
I wanted better fucking homes
and gardens magazine turkey.
902
00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:37,086
I wanted turkey to make Martha
Stewart wet. You know, I
903
00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:39,923
shouldn't have relied on this
fucking thing. Well you're never
904
00:42:39,925 --> 00:42:42,225
there when I need you. Why are
you never there when I need you?
905
00:42:42,227 --> 00:42:43,893
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
906
00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:45,628
LILY Come in.
907
00:42:47,131 --> 00:42:48,932
JESSE Hello, my gorgeous niece.
908
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:51,534
LILY Hi. When did you get here?
909
00:42:51,536 --> 00:42:52,535
JESSE You hiding out?
910
00:42:52,537 --> 00:42:54,270
LILLY
This is the commotion free zone.
911
00:42:54,272 --> 00:42:57,507
It's like a goddamn
category seven out there.
912
00:42:57,509 --> 00:43:01,077
JESSE You have the right idea.
What are you now, like 40?
913
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:03,546
LILY Sixteen. But my ID says 18.
914
00:43:03,548 --> 00:43:07,617
JESSE You little criminal. I bet
the boys are going crazy over you.
915
00:43:07,619 --> 00:43:11,220
LILLY There's a guy I'm seeing,
but no one would approve, so.
916
00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:12,722
Mmm-It's nothing.
917
00:43:12,724 --> 00:43:15,191
JESSE I know the feeling. Remember
when I dated that Scientologist?
918
00:43:15,193 --> 00:43:17,794
LILY Oh, it's not that
bad He's just older.
919
00:43:17,796 --> 00:43:20,263
JESSE Okay yeah but how much older?
Like do I need to
920
00:43:20,265 --> 00:43:24,100
LILLY No Uncle Jesse, I
can kick his ass myself.
921
00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:26,736
JESSE Fine, but if you need me to
kung-fu chop one of your dates
922
00:43:26,738 --> 00:43:27,837
you just text me.
923
00:43:27,839 --> 00:43:29,138
Okay. Okay.
924
00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:32,208
LILLY Hey, what about you?
You seeing anyone special?
925
00:43:32,210 --> 00:43:34,310
JESSE I can't really
seem to meet anyone.
926
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:40,149
LILY There are tons of gay guys
out there [LAUGHTER]. No, I'm
927
00:43:40,151 --> 00:43:42,285
serious, this is like the best
time in history to be gay.
928
00:43:42,287 --> 00:43:44,554
Uh-uh.
929
00:43:44,556 --> 00:43:46,623
You should get on Bottom Feeder.
930
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:49,359
Wait, how do you know
about Bottom Feeder?
931
00:43:50,027 --> 00:43:51,594
I, I love BF.
932
00:43:51,596 --> 00:43:54,030
Why do you have a
gay dating app?
933
00:43:54,032 --> 00:43:56,699
Duh, 'cause it lets me rate
hot guys. Here, let's see.
934
00:43:56,701 --> 00:43:58,134
I can't believe you know
about this app.
935
00:43:58,136 --> 00:44:00,303
Everyone does, it's
like legendary.
936
00:44:01,672 --> 00:44:03,239
Oh let me see your
account. I'll help you
937
00:44:03,241 --> 00:44:06,643
No. No, [BARF SOUND]
100 percent no.
938
00:44:06,645 --> 00:44:10,246
No, what the hell is wrong with
you? No, maybe later, but just-
939
00:44:10,248 --> 00:44:12,749
I- I don't understand. Like
what, what do you even use
940
00:44:12,751 --> 00:44:14,083
for a profile pic?
941
00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:16,653
Oh I use the torso of
Antonio Sabato Junior.
942
00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:20,757
Yeah, seriously he's hot.
Oh my gosh, what?
943
00:44:20,759 --> 00:44:22,358
I have like zero bars.
944
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,359
JESSE Hmm.
945
00:44:23,361 --> 00:44:25,595
I usually have at least two.
946
00:44:25,597 --> 00:44:27,196
You broke it.
947
00:44:27,198 --> 00:44:28,097
No I didn't.
948
00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:29,165
You broke your phone.
949
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:33,670
♪ EERIE MUSIC
950
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,872
BERT (whispering) Oh. Come on.
951
00:44:42,212 --> 00:44:48,618
GEORGIA Hey, come over here. I
thought we agreed no phones
952
00:44:48,620 --> 00:44:50,019
on the holiday.
953
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:53,956
RICK Yeah, I know. But, uh, I don't
know these people that well.
954
00:44:53,958 --> 00:44:55,825
They're your friends. So
what am I supposed to do?
955
00:44:55,827 --> 00:44:58,695
GEORGIA What are you talking about?
You've got Kimmy, she's your
956
00:44:58,697 --> 00:45:00,063
sports buddy. You love Kimmy.
957
00:45:00,065 --> 00:45:03,900
RICK Yes, yes, I, I love Kimmy,
she's great and she's so much
958
00:45:03,902 --> 00:45:06,803
fun to talk to about sports. And
that lasts five to ten minutes.
959
00:45:06,805 --> 00:45:11,007
GEORGIA [CLEARS THROAT]
Rick, we made an agreement.
960
00:45:12,076 --> 00:45:12,875
RICK Okay.
961
00:45:12,877 --> 00:45:14,110
Okay? Okay. Okay.
962
00:45:14,112 --> 00:45:15,978
I'm sorry, the phone
is in my pocket.
963
00:45:15,980 --> 00:45:18,781
Okay. Now. So what's up?
964
00:45:18,783 --> 00:45:20,850
GEORGIA Will you please
make me a mojito?
965
00:45:22,086 --> 00:45:24,954
RICK That's it? That's, that's
why you called me over here,
966
00:45:24,956 --> 00:45:26,389
so I could be your manservant
and make you drinks?
967
00:45:26,391 --> 00:45:28,825
GEORGIA [LAUGHS] You know I
love the way you make them.
968
00:45:28,827 --> 00:45:30,026
RICK Oh boy,
969
00:45:30,028 --> 00:45:30,893
Oh. Yeah, okay.
970
00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:32,095
I guess I'll make a mojito.
971
00:45:32,097 --> 00:45:34,097
You know what,
don't trouble yourself.
972
00:45:34,099 --> 00:45:38,935
You know what, why don't you
make me a mojito. Yeah. I mean
973
00:45:38,937 --> 00:45:42,238
I'm at your friend's house, I'm
here for you. I'm being a good
974
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:44,707
boy. Why should I put
on a display? I mean
975
00:45:44,709 --> 00:45:46,876
it's the holidays, I should be
able to be myself, yes?
976
00:45:46,878 --> 00:45:50,079
Yes, and why does being yourself
always mean being by yourself?
977
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:51,848
Okay that conversation.
978
00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,049
No, stop it.
979
00:45:53,051 --> 00:45:55,885
Will you just, Georgia, I will
make you your drink.
980
00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:57,820
Now you have to stop nagging me.
981
00:45:57,822 --> 00:46:00,790
I just thought that my husband
would want to spend five minutes
982
00:46:00,792 --> 00:46:03,392
with me on Thanksgiving. You
know what I mean?
983
00:46:03,394 --> 00:46:07,029
Muddle a little mint, engage
with some people. Forget it.
984
00:46:08,031 --> 00:46:11,100
Georgia. Come here.
985
00:46:13,704 --> 00:46:16,773
You really take that give
right out of Thanksgiving.
986
00:46:16,775 --> 00:46:18,741
Just so you know.
987
00:46:18,743 --> 00:46:20,209
Good to know.
988
00:46:32,222 --> 00:46:33,956
You okay playing
your game, honey?
989
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:35,391
Yeah, daddy.
990
00:46:35,393 --> 00:46:36,459
DAVID Okay.
991
00:46:38,061 --> 00:46:41,464
KATE Fox playing break-up songs
and he's taking bar stools...
992
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:43,533
[INAUDIBLE] cigarette
smoke and name tags.
993
00:46:44,968 --> 00:46:46,269
PETRA
All right, are those boiled?
994
00:46:46,271 --> 00:46:48,037
JUDY Did you just see me
take them off the stove?
995
00:46:48,039 --> 00:46:49,038
PETRA I don't know
if they're done yet.
996
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:49,972
JUDY They're boiling hot.
997
00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:51,107
Okay. Yeah, but I
didn't peel them.
998
00:46:51,109 --> 00:46:53,309
JUDY Because I wasn't sure if you
were supposed to peel them first.
999
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:55,878
Peeling sounds like so much work.
Or peel them-
1000
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:59,048
skin has like amino acid and
fiber know if I can get
1001
00:46:59,050 --> 00:47:00,817
Gets you nice and regular
Thanksgiving is not about amino
1002
00:47:00,819 --> 00:47:02,985
acids and fiber and
keeping regular.
1003
00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,187
It should be about keeping regular.
It's not.
1004
00:47:04,189 --> 00:47:06,255
It's about creamy,
white perfection
1005
00:47:06,257 --> 00:47:08,424
Excuse me, creamy
white perfection?
1006
00:47:08,426 --> 00:47:10,059
What if I want chunky black?
1007
00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:11,060
That's yummy. Well when you do
1008
00:47:11,062 --> 00:47:12,929
Thanksgiving you can
do chunky black.
1009
00:47:12,931 --> 00:47:15,131
No, see I'm not gonna do
Thanksgiving for this
1010
00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:16,299
very reason. I mean look-
1011
00:47:16,301 --> 00:47:19,235
I totally forgot. What?
A cookbook.
1012
00:47:19,237 --> 00:47:25,842
Actual book with pages and
here it is right-oh, holy shit.
1013
00:47:25,844 --> 00:47:27,143
What? Classic French cooking.
1014
00:47:27,145 --> 00:47:28,778
Oh honey the word Thanksgiving's
1015
00:47:28,780 --> 00:47:32,949
We're gonna change it up. we
are gonna have a thanksgiving
1016
00:47:32,951 --> 00:47:34,383
with a, with a European flair.
1017
00:47:34,385 --> 00:47:36,385
PETRA Okay but there is
no mashed potatoes in-
1018
00:47:36,387 --> 00:47:39,488
What's the word for-French
cooking they gratine them or-
1019
00:47:39,490 --> 00:47:41,190
or gratan them potato.
Well then, we will gratine
1020
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:42,558
them. Whatever. I mean-Okay.
They're gone.
1021
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,860
JUDY Come on! viva la France.
1022
00:47:43,862 --> 00:47:44,927
PETRA No you're right,
you're absolutely right.
1023
00:47:44,929 --> 00:47:47,063
JUDY How do you say
potato in French?
1024
00:47:47,065 --> 00:47:49,398
PETRA Potato? Pomme, pomme.
1025
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,334
JUDY I think it's a pomme frites.
Yeah, we are gonna
1026
00:47:51,336 --> 00:47:52,268
have a Parisian Thanksgiving.
1027
00:47:52,270 --> 00:47:55,972
SHANE Yeah, it's just Bert's
way of coping with life
1028
00:47:55,974 --> 00:47:58,107
as a rarely employed
Los Angeles actor.
1029
00:47:58,109 --> 00:48:01,410
GINA If you ask me that's
a very sad way to live.
1030
00:48:01,412 --> 00:48:05,815
He's always on a leash, paranoid
he's gonna miss something.
1031
00:48:05,817 --> 00:48:08,184
SHANE Mm, there are worse
ways to make a living.
1032
00:48:08,186 --> 00:48:11,420
KATE Yeah, try public school
teaching when the Republicans
1033
00:48:11,422 --> 00:48:12,321
are in charge.
1034
00:48:12,323 --> 00:48:13,322
GINA Hey.
1035
00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:15,057
KATE Except for the
great communicator.
1036
00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:20,897
GINA Right. I was a substitute
school teacher. Thirty years.
1037
00:48:20,899 --> 00:48:25,334
I went home for the
day, my work was over.
1038
00:48:25,336 --> 00:48:28,871
SHANE The constancy of the iPhone
age must be, uh, very different
1039
00:48:28,873 --> 00:48:30,172
from your generation, hmm?
1040
00:48:30,174 --> 00:48:35,077
GINA Oh my generation. Are
you implying my generation
1041
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:36,946
is so far from yours?
1042
00:48:36,948 --> 00:48:38,481
SHANE I didn't mean
it in a negative way.
1043
00:48:38,483 --> 00:48:40,283
KATE You never say
generation to a woman.
1044
00:48:40,285 --> 00:48:42,451
GINA I was just trying
to get your goat.
1045
00:48:42,453 --> 00:48:45,221
KATE Mom's still quick as a wit.
Better mind the gap.
1046
00:48:45,223 --> 00:48:48,524
GINA About most things.
Not everything.
1047
00:48:48,526 --> 00:48:51,060
SHANE Uh I think the mind
blossoms with age. You know, uh,
1048
00:48:51,062 --> 00:48:55,998
the insight from a lifetime of
experience must be invaluable?
1049
00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:00,436
GINA Yes. Although some
70 year olds are just as
1050
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:02,638
clueless as 20 years olds.
1051
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,408
So uh, so how is
your online love life.
1052
00:49:05,876 --> 00:49:07,109
Excuse Me? KATE Oh.
1053
00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:09,211
KATE If this trumps mine I'm
switching to a quadruple
1054
00:49:09,213 --> 00:49:13,349
martini. How's your
love life, mom?
1055
00:49:13,351 --> 00:49:16,452
GINA I, uh, I really
haven't signed up yet.
1056
00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:18,654
SHANE Why not?
1057
00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,990
GINA 'Cause I don't like
the Internet [LAUGHTER].
1058
00:49:20,992 --> 00:49:25,294
I don't trust it. It's better
for younger people I think.
1059
00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:27,630
SHANE How so? Do you
mind if I record this?
1060
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,265
GINA Record? Why?
1061
00:49:29,267 --> 00:49:32,001
SHANE Well it's, uh, it's for a
little project. You can approve it
1062
00:49:32,003 --> 00:49:33,269
before I post it, I promise.
1063
00:49:33,271 --> 00:49:35,171
KATE Oh, better get
that in writing mom.
1064
00:49:35,173 --> 00:49:36,939
GINA Does Judy know about this?
1065
00:49:36,941 --> 00:49:39,041
SHANE Uh, she's
totally on board.
1066
00:49:41,111 --> 00:49:42,044
GINA Okay.
1067
00:49:42,046 --> 00:49:43,112
SHANE Okay?
1068
00:49:43,114 --> 00:49:48,217
SHANE So? How is the Internet
from your perspective?
1069
00:49:48,219 --> 00:49:54,657
GINA Well I do try to keep up
with everything. I, I want to be
1070
00:49:54,659 --> 00:50:00,363
savvy about the Internet, about
all this new technology coming
1071
00:50:00,365 --> 00:50:05,968
around. But it is so much and
it, it's, it's too fast.
1072
00:50:05,970 --> 00:50:10,272
It comes flying at you, it makes
my head spin [LAUGHTER].
1073
00:50:10,274 --> 00:50:14,310
I, I am afraid I am one click
away from somebody
1074
00:50:14,312 --> 00:50:18,714
having all of my information.
I was watching 20/20.
1075
00:50:18,716 --> 00:50:20,316
You, you ever see that?
1076
00:50:20,318 --> 00:50:24,987
GINA And they said that
if anybody ever gets your
1077
00:50:24,989 --> 00:50:29,959
information, you, your life is
never the same. They ruin
1078
00:50:29,961 --> 00:50:35,731
your credit. And even the
credit guys, they cannot fix it.
1079
00:50:35,733 --> 00:50:40,236
So-I'm not for that.
1080
00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:46,709
Besides it's very isolating. You
know, to sit there for hours all
1081
00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:54,116
by yourself. Trying to figure
things out. I like people. I,
1082
00:50:54,118 --> 00:50:59,021
I like to talk. I, I like to go
to the store. This probably
1083
00:50:59,023 --> 00:51:04,693
doesn't make much sense to you,
being younger-how old are you?
1084
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:05,694
SHANE Thirty.
1085
00:51:05,696 --> 00:51:09,165
KATE I was probably at a Bangles
concert when you were born.
1086
00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,167
GINA You grew up with
computers, didn't you?
1087
00:51:11,169 --> 00:51:16,038
GINA Well how would you like it
if you spent your whole life
1088
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:19,075
and all of a sudden a computer
comes along and it's in charge
1089
00:51:19,077 --> 00:51:22,411
SHANE But do you feel things
have got better as a whole?
1090
00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:27,483
GINA One hundred percent worse.
1091
00:51:29,186 --> 00:51:33,389
ZOE (OS) "She listened to every
sound, sprang up with a start",
1092
00:51:33,391 --> 00:51:38,160
wondered that it did not
come. And then at sunset,
1093
00:51:38,162 --> 00:51:43,299
always more saddened,
she longed for the morrow.
1094
00:51:51,074 --> 00:51:52,441
KIMMY Me love you long time.
1095
00:51:52,443 --> 00:51:53,409
[INAUDIBLE PHONE
CONVERSATION NOISES]
1096
00:51:53,411 --> 00:51:55,044
This is supposed to be sports.
1097
00:51:55,046 --> 00:51:57,146
[INAUDIBLE PHONE
CONVERSATION NOISES]
1098
00:51:57,148 --> 00:52:00,349
No, I, I understand I'm not
supposed to take-
1099
00:52:00,351 --> 00:52:05,321
Okay. Hello? Hello? Fuck.
1100
00:52:14,564 --> 00:52:15,431
DYLAN Hey man.
1101
00:52:15,433 --> 00:52:19,768
DYLAN You know where the John is?
I got to drain the lizard.
1102
00:52:26,476 --> 00:52:30,179
RICK (OS) Yeah I think the, uh,
I think the main bathroom is
1103
00:52:30,181 --> 00:52:33,215
on the other end of the house.
This everything here seems to be
1104
00:52:33,217 --> 00:52:34,817
connected to a bedroom. So.
1105
00:52:34,819 --> 00:52:36,919
DYLAN Yeah, thanks. Haven't
I seen you before?
1106
00:52:38,655 --> 00:52:39,722
RICK No-I don't think so.
1107
00:52:39,724 --> 00:52:44,226
DYLAN Maybe it wasn't in person
or your, your whole person.
1108
00:52:45,462 --> 00:52:47,263
RICK I'm sorry what's that?
1109
00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:51,100
DYLAN Maybe we met
in the cyberspace?
1110
00:52:51,102 --> 00:52:53,102
RICK
I don't think so, I-are you in
1111
00:52:53,104 --> 00:52:54,303
one of my fantasy
football leagues?
1112
00:52:54,305 --> 00:52:55,638
DYLAN No [LAUGHS]
I'm pretty sure
1113
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:57,740
it was a different district
of the cyber hood.
1114
00:52:58,208 --> 00:53:01,177
RICK Well I'm pretty sure
that I don't know what you're
1115
00:53:01,179 --> 00:53:02,645
talking about then, dude.
1116
00:53:03,613 --> 00:53:06,782
DYLAN Dude. Most smart married
men turn off their Bottom Feeder
1117
00:53:06,784 --> 00:53:09,451
before going to
a Thanksgiving dinner.
1118
00:53:09,453 --> 00:53:11,520
Eight feet away is so dumb.
1119
00:53:14,157 --> 00:53:15,791
RICK Like I said I'm
not sure I know what
1120
00:53:15,793 --> 00:53:22,364
I don't care. Do not care. Not
going to say anything.
1121
00:53:41,918 --> 00:53:45,588
RICK Fucking phone, man. I turn
the goddamn app off it comes back
1122
00:53:45,590 --> 00:53:48,891
on. I turn it off, it comes on
again. Fucking headache.
1123
00:53:51,294 --> 00:53:54,363
DYLAN I've always wanted
to be someone's mistress.
1124
00:53:59,869 --> 00:54:03,239
KIMMY (OS) ...says maybe it's time
for a little iPhone espionage.
1125
00:54:03,241 --> 00:54:04,206
GEORGIA
Yeah, I already did that.
1126
00:54:04,208 --> 00:54:10,546
DAVID Hey. I believe you
ordered one ice cold mojito.
1127
00:54:10,548 --> 00:54:14,683
GEORGIA
That is so sweet. Thank you.
1128
00:54:14,685 --> 00:54:17,253
DAVID
Oh, how's it going out here?
1129
00:54:17,255 --> 00:54:20,623
KIMMY Meltdown at work. And
the cell phones are dead.
1130
00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:25,227
DAVID No, don't worry, I'm sure they
will get the phones working again.
1131
00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:28,631
GEORGIA Mm, for the sake of my
marriage I kind of hope they don't.
1132
00:54:28,633 --> 00:54:30,432
DAVID What's that mean?
1133
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:35,537
KIMMY Rick is a phone junky. He's
on his phone all day and all night.
1134
00:54:35,539 --> 00:54:40,242
DAVID You know, I have my own strange
addict. Yeah, it's my wife. She,
1135
00:54:40,244 --> 00:54:42,611
uh, she's like a human
Pinterest board.
1136
00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,446
GEORGIA What does that mean?
1137
00:54:44,448 --> 00:54:48,384
DAVID Uh, Petra, she just reviews
everything under the sun and
1138
00:54:48,386 --> 00:54:51,420
over the sun. I mean she, she'll
review a gas station if she
1139
00:54:51,422 --> 00:54:55,257
doesn't like the gas pump or, or
write four-page blog entries on
1140
00:54:55,259 --> 00:54:58,894
what her favorite varieties of
flavored lip gloss are.
1141
00:54:58,896 --> 00:55:02,831
You know, and she gets so fired
up when people like her reviews
1142
00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:06,235
or comment on her analysis or,
or re-tweet her tweets.
1143
00:55:06,237 --> 00:55:07,703
It's like she's having
a fucking orgasm.
1144
00:55:07,705 --> 00:55:11,373
DAVID You know, she's posting
or vining or tumbler-ing or
1145
00:55:11,375 --> 00:55:13,375
insta-ing or whatever.
I don't know.
1146
00:55:13,377 --> 00:55:15,844
GEORGIA Maybe we should
start a support group.
1147
00:55:15,846 --> 00:55:17,713
Step one.
1148
00:55:17,715 --> 00:55:21,450
DAVID Step one, Rick should throw his
phone in the middle of the ocean
1149
00:55:21,452 --> 00:55:23,519
if it would make you happy.
1150
00:55:28,892 --> 00:55:33,829
BERT Work. You will work. You
will listen to me, I am your
1151
00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:38,400
master, you will work, work. Be
a good phone. Be good.
1152
00:55:38,402 --> 00:55:42,771
Okay stay very still, be good,
that's it. That's it, be good.
1153
00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:48,410
ZOE (OS) Hey. Hey.
1154
00:55:48,412 --> 00:55:49,411
BERT Hey.
1155
00:55:49,413 --> 00:55:50,546
ZOE I think I recognize you.
1156
00:55:50,548 --> 00:55:52,614
Aren't you that Yeah.
Guy from, um?
1157
00:55:52,616 --> 00:55:55,718
Yep. Yep, I am that guy, yeah.
1158
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:57,286
I used to love that
show when I was a kid.
1159
00:55:57,288 --> 00:55:59,388
BERT Oh this is not working.
I have to send a selfie
1160
00:55:59,390 --> 00:56:01,857
to my agent right now.
I have to look aggressive.
1161
00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:03,926
ZOE
Are you a friend of my mom's?
1162
00:56:03,928 --> 00:56:05,694
BERT I've been on other shows
since you were a little kid,
1163
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:06,862
just so you know.
1164
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,564
ZOE I didn't mean
anything by that. I-
1165
00:56:08,566 --> 00:56:12,901
BERT I did not disappear.
I did not disappear.
1166
00:56:12,903 --> 00:56:14,403
ZOE Are you okay?
1167
00:56:14,405 --> 00:56:17,639
[BERT CRYING] ♪ ETHEREAL MUSIC
1168
00:56:17,641 --> 00:56:19,675
BERT The phone isn't working.
1169
00:56:19,677 --> 00:56:21,443
ZOE Do you want to
borrow my phone?
1170
00:56:21,445 --> 00:56:23,645
BERT No, fuck, work,
would you please,
1171
00:56:23,647 --> 00:56:24,947
would you please work, would you
please work for me?
1172
00:56:24,949 --> 00:56:27,783
Would you please, someone
be here, please.
1173
00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:37,326
DAVID It's hard to find time to listen.
Petra and I have been
1174
00:56:37,328 --> 00:56:40,095
together for 12 years and I, I
feel like I have to squeeze in
1175
00:56:40,097 --> 00:56:42,898
alone time with a crowbar. The
records just stack up.
1176
00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:45,701
GEORGIA My first boyfriend and
I would lie there for hours
1177
00:56:45,703 --> 00:56:50,005
listening to records. Lots of
James Taylor, Joni Mitchell.
1178
00:56:50,007 --> 00:56:52,007
DAVID Mm, tuning into the
music, watching the records
1179
00:56:52,009 --> 00:56:53,442
go round and round for hours.
1180
00:56:53,444 --> 00:56:55,911
I'd love to do that again.
1181
00:56:55,913 --> 00:56:57,846
DAVID Petra listens to one
song and she wants to review
1182
00:56:57,848 --> 00:56:59,715
the entire album online.
1183
00:56:59,717 --> 00:57:03,419
GEORGIA It's kind of like when
I take Rick to a gallery show.
1184
00:57:03,421 --> 00:57:06,655
He shoots a photo of a picture
on the wall without even
1185
00:57:06,657 --> 00:57:09,458
looking at it. It's like he
wants to preserve a memory that
1186
00:57:09,460 --> 00:57:13,796
Yeah, how about those people who
record the entire concert
1187
00:57:13,798 --> 00:57:14,696
Oh! on their phone.
1188
00:57:14,698 --> 00:57:17,065
Agreed! So not what
a concert is about.
1189
00:57:17,067 --> 00:57:19,802
Anyway, now they're using
their phones as lighters.
1190
00:57:19,804 --> 00:57:21,870
Yes, totally, it's so lame
1191
00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:24,573
I'm gonna see if
Judy needs rescuing.
1192
00:57:24,575 --> 00:57:27,709
Uh, do you want to hang
out here for a bit?
1193
00:57:27,711 --> 00:57:30,446
Yeah, sure. I'm no use
in the kitchen anyway.
1194
00:57:30,448 --> 00:57:31,914
I'll uh, let your spouses
know you're out here.
1195
00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:35,050
Ah no need, I'm sure
Petra's busy cooking.
1196
00:57:35,052 --> 00:57:37,419
GEORGIA And Rick's busy texting.
1197
00:57:37,421 --> 00:57:38,587
GINA (OS) Ah! ZOE (OS) Hi!
1198
00:57:38,589 --> 00:57:39,822
GINA My girl. SHANE Right.
1199
00:57:39,824 --> 00:57:41,156
ZOE I'm so happy to see you.
1200
00:57:41,158 --> 00:57:43,992
GINA Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
Come on, sit down.
1201
00:57:43,994 --> 00:57:48,397
ZOE Okay. Wait, does anyone know
the whack job outside? He's acting
1202
00:57:48,399 --> 00:57:50,132
like he's on bad hallucinogens.
1203
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,801
SHANE That's my friend Bert, I invited him.
He may well have
1204
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:54,403
swallowed his spray tan again.
1205
00:57:54,405 --> 00:57:55,504
GINA (OS) He's on drugs too?
1206
00:57:55,506 --> 00:57:56,405
[LAUGHTER]
1207
00:57:56,407 --> 00:58:00,042
SHANE No, it's just that his drama
teacher tries to get him to
1208
00:58:00,044 --> 00:58:04,146
stay in character for days at a
time. Last month it was a Smurf.
1209
00:58:04,148 --> 00:58:05,948
It's a grim business,
I'll go check he's okay.
1210
00:58:05,950 --> 00:58:06,949
It's nice to see you again.
1211
00:58:06,951 --> 00:58:08,183
ZOE Nice to see you.
1212
00:58:09,719 --> 00:58:12,020
What were you talking about
with Mom's latest art pet?
1213
00:58:12,022 --> 00:58:14,656
GINA He's doing research
for his new grog.
1214
00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:17,092
ZOE Oh Grammy it's
not grog, it's blog
1215
00:58:17,094 --> 00:58:20,062
GINA Well good. Because
when I hear the word grog
1216
00:58:20,064 --> 00:58:25,100
I get thirsty. I think there's
really a lot to say about your
1217
00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:29,171
generation. And all
of this technology.
1218
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:31,206
ZOE You sound like such
a grandma right now.
1219
00:58:31,208 --> 00:58:32,708
My generation, and grogs?
1220
00:58:32,710 --> 00:58:36,912
GINA Okay smarty pants. What do
you think about all this? Huh?
1221
00:58:38,715 --> 00:58:39,715
ZOE You want to know a secret?
1222
00:58:39,717 --> 00:58:41,450
Of course.
1223
00:58:41,452 --> 00:58:44,887
ZOE It is the older people that
take the Internet too seriously.
1224
00:58:44,889 --> 00:58:49,157
It is moms who get in posting
fights on Facebook. I mean my
1225
00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:52,594
generation, we know how to
shut off our phones. We know
1226
00:58:52,596 --> 00:58:55,063
better than anyone else the
difference between real
1227
00:58:55,065 --> 00:58:57,599
communication and
cyber communication.
1228
00:58:58,835 --> 00:59:03,805
Like I have no problem not
responding to a text because
1229
00:59:03,807 --> 00:59:06,008
I know it's not the end of the
world. And I expect people
1230
00:59:06,010 --> 00:59:07,809
that I text to feel
the same way.
1231
00:59:07,811 --> 00:59:09,144
GINA Hmm.
1232
00:59:09,146 --> 00:59:13,615
ZOE I just don't think it's
our generation's fault if
1233
00:59:13,617 --> 00:59:18,220
stupid people take their phones
too seriously. They have an off
1234
00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:23,525
button just like we do. There's
a guy and he won't stop texting
1235
00:59:23,527 --> 00:59:26,128
me. And he's just doing it for
himself. I mean he's addicted
1236
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:30,198
to the validation of me texting
him back. But it has nothing to
1237
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:35,270
do with me. I know that. I don't
think he does, which actually
1238
00:59:35,272 --> 00:59:36,705
gives me all the power
1239
00:59:36,707 --> 00:59:40,008
GINA [LAUGHING] Yes.
1240
00:59:40,010 --> 00:59:43,712
I think that my generation knows
what to do when it all becomes
1241
00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:47,950
too much. We ignore it. Well You
just got to recognize it for
1242
00:59:47,952 --> 00:59:52,220
what it is, you know, it's a
tool. It's just a tool. It's
1243
00:59:52,222 --> 00:59:55,157
like a scale or a blender.
1244
00:59:55,159 --> 00:59:58,560
KATE The day my scale texts
me is the day I shoot myself.
1245
00:59:58,562 --> 00:59:59,895
[KITCHEN NOISES
1246
00:59:59,897 --> 01:00:01,530
SHANE
Here we are in the nerve center
1247
01:00:01,532 --> 01:00:02,664
JUDY Oh of the
house, the kitchen.
1248
01:00:02,666 --> 01:00:04,600
Where we find our hostess.
1249
01:00:04,602 --> 01:00:06,101
JUDY Shane out out, out, out.
1250
01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:07,636
Oh, what's wrong,
what's wrong with this?
1251
01:00:07,638 --> 01:00:08,904
What's wrong with it? The-
1252
01:00:08,906 --> 01:00:11,139
this is not what my
kitchen looks like
1253
01:00:11,141 --> 01:00:14,743
Mess is part of the creative
process. I once took a tour
1254
01:00:14,745 --> 01:00:17,679
of Damien Hirst's studio.
The effluvium was very,
1255
01:00:17,681 --> 01:00:19,047
very similar. What do
we have in here?
1256
01:00:19,049 --> 01:00:20,082
JUDY Ah, no peaking.
1257
01:00:20,084 --> 01:00:22,050
Oh. That is the turkey
1258
01:00:22,052 --> 01:00:24,186
Oh okay it's a lit-
it's a little black.
1259
01:00:24,188 --> 01:00:25,787
Is it a cajun turkey?
1260
01:00:25,789 --> 01:00:27,923
Uh, the-it's meant to be Amish.
1261
01:00:27,925 --> 01:00:29,658
Let's put some
suspenders on it then.
1262
01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:30,692
Perhaps a little hat.
1263
01:00:30,694 --> 01:00:32,127
And what do we have here?
1264
01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:33,028
Really?
1265
01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:33,829
[SHANE LAUGHS]
1266
01:00:33,831 --> 01:00:35,964
This-potatoes
1267
01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:41,236
Oh-okay. Um, so this will be
mashed potatoes. And, um, I
1268
01:00:41,238 --> 01:00:43,772
boiled them and I, I wasn't sure
1269
01:00:43,774 --> 01:00:46,008
about the skin so
I am improvising.
1270
01:00:46,010 --> 01:00:48,276
SHANE Oh okay well a little
bit of that and the, and the
1271
01:00:48,278 --> 01:00:50,712
black meat, you'd have a very
passable shepherd's pie.
1272
01:00:50,714 --> 01:00:53,782
Oh god, you're right about that.
There's a bit of irony
1273
01:00:53,784 --> 01:00:56,685
Because I am serving
Britain's national dish on
1274
01:00:56,687 --> 01:00:58,620
American Thanksgiving,
to a Brit.
1275
01:00:58,622 --> 01:00:59,755
[LAUGHTER]
1276
01:00:59,757 --> 01:01:01,089
PETRA Who's this, what's that?
1277
01:01:01,091 --> 01:01:03,959
JUDY Oh, oh sorry I thought I told you.
This is Shane.
1278
01:01:03,961 --> 01:01:05,961
And he's a, a conceptual artist.
1279
01:01:05,963 --> 01:01:08,196
And he's blogging about
our Thanksgiving.
1280
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:09,998
Blog? I wouldn't say I
was a conceptual artist.
1281
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:14,036
SHANE It's more, uh, reality
television meets, uh, Dada.
1282
01:01:14,038 --> 01:01:17,305
PETRA Dada? Mama, dada, what -
[LAUGHTER] I know you were
1283
01:01:17,307 --> 01:01:19,074
speaking English. Maybe
the beginning part.
1284
01:01:19,076 --> 01:01:23,045
JUDY (OS) Oh come on, he's speaking
with an accent, it's still English.
1285
01:01:23,047 --> 01:01:24,913
SHANE What, uh, what,
what are you doing here?
1286
01:01:24,915 --> 01:01:28,350
PETRA Ah. Replacement stuffing.
1287
01:01:28,352 --> 01:01:30,285
SHANE You don't stuff
it in the turkey?
1288
01:01:30,287 --> 01:01:32,120
PETRA Uh, well some people do.
Most don't.
1289
01:01:32,122 --> 01:01:34,956
SHANE Uh, god, you-thi-this holiday
is full of misnomers. I'm still
1290
01:01:34,958 --> 01:01:37,392
unclear on why you persist
on using the term Indian.
1291
01:01:37,394 --> 01:01:39,695
JUDY Oh well that's a funny
thing because Columbus, he was
1292
01:01:39,697 --> 01:01:41,363
headed for India. and he
got Uh, whoa, Excuse me.
1293
01:01:41,365 --> 01:01:44,266
Excuse me. I didn't give you
permission to film me.
1294
01:01:44,268 --> 01:01:47,035
SHANE Oh I'm sorry, I uh-
1295
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:49,304
PETRA I'm sure you did
and maybe she did too,
1296
01:01:49,306 --> 01:01:51,373
but really you shouldn't have.
1297
01:01:51,941 --> 01:01:55,010
SHANE Oh, uh, it's all right, I'll,
I'll sw... switch it off now.
1298
01:01:55,012 --> 01:01:59,981
And, uh, please my,
my-I apologize.
1299
01:01:59,983 --> 01:02:03,018
JUDY Oh, No, no, no. That's on
me, I'm sorry. Petra, I told him
1300
01:02:03,020 --> 01:02:04,186
that it would be okay.
1301
01:02:04,188 --> 01:02:06,955
For this blogger to
film this blogger?
1302
01:02:06,957 --> 01:02:09,224
Oh my god, I didn't
even really think
1303
01:02:09,226 --> 01:02:12,094
It's not really the same thing.
I'm gonna go find my
1304
01:02:12,096 --> 01:02:13,195
friend Bert. So, uh.
1305
01:02:13,197 --> 01:02:17,099
SHANE Good luck with it, Judy,
very nice to meet you, uh-
1306
01:02:17,101 --> 01:02:18,133
PETRA & JUDY TOGETHER Petra.
1307
01:02:18,135 --> 01:02:18,900
SHANE Petra. That's right.
1308
01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:20,035
Okay Yeah
1309
01:02:20,037 --> 01:02:21,203
Right, okay.
1310
01:02:21,205 --> 01:02:24,706
Shane. Who is that limey poser?
1311
01:02:24,708 --> 01:02:25,841
[LAUGHING] I think
he's kind of adorable.
1312
01:02:25,843 --> 01:02:26,975
PETRA He's not adorable.
1313
01:02:26,977 --> 01:02:30,245
He's a remnant of
my past art life.
1314
01:02:30,247 --> 01:02:34,049
PETRA Well if that is your art
life, I'm glad it's in your past.
1315
01:02:35,118 --> 01:02:39,287
♪ EERIE MUSIC [TAPPING ON PHONE]
1316
01:02:40,957 --> 01:02:44,159
[PHONE DINGING]
1317
01:03:19,328 --> 01:03:23,298
RICK No, we have to stop, we have to stop.
We can't do this.
1318
01:03:23,300 --> 01:03:25,333
Why? That was pretty good.
1319
01:03:25,335 --> 01:03:29,871
We just, we, I want to, and
we're going to. I just-
1320
01:03:29,873 --> 01:03:31,940
It's Thanksgiving, my
wife is right down the hall.
1321
01:03:31,942 --> 01:03:36,278
Okay well maybe we can message
each other on Bottom Feeder?
1322
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:42,083
RICK That's a very good idea. I'll
send you a unicorn right now.
1323
01:03:42,085 --> 01:03:44,853
If I can get the
goddamn thing to work.
1324
01:03:44,855 --> 01:03:48,857
This phone, uh, no-
It won't load.
1325
01:03:48,859 --> 01:03:51,927
DYLAN All this talk of unicorns
and loads is making me hungry
1326
01:03:54,330 --> 01:03:57,365
RICK
Uh-This thing is not working.
1327
01:03:57,367 --> 01:03:58,300
GINA Okay.
1328
01:03:58,302 --> 01:04:03,872
GINA There you go. Are you sure
you should be drinking all that-
1329
01:04:03,874 --> 01:04:05,173
On an empty stomach?
1330
01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:06,575
KATE It's better this way.
1331
01:04:08,477 --> 01:04:10,717
GINA I don't like watching you
get drunk like this honey.
1332
01:04:11,948 --> 01:04:13,014
KATE Then don't.
1333
01:04:15,885 --> 01:04:18,854
GINA You know, it was never
like this when Adam was around
1334
01:04:18,856 --> 01:04:21,122
KATE Twelve years, what a waste.
1335
01:04:21,124 --> 01:04:23,825
GINA How is he? Do you know?
1336
01:04:23,827 --> 01:04:27,462
KATE Well he seems really
happy on Facebook.
1337
01:04:27,464 --> 01:04:30,098
Oh my gosh he just
seems so happy with
1338
01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:32,400
his wife and his daughter
1339
01:04:32,402 --> 01:04:33,301
GINA I'm sorry.
1340
01:04:33,303 --> 01:04:34,469
KATE But thanks for asking.
1341
01:04:34,471 --> 01:04:37,038
GINA I'm, uh-I know how
hard that must be for you.
1342
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,573
It's not exactly like I had
a that must be for you.
1343
01:04:38,575 --> 01:04:41,243
Great role model
for marital bliss.
1344
01:04:41,245 --> 01:04:43,445
GINA I don't want to
get into that, Kate.
1345
01:04:43,447 --> 01:04:44,546
KATE (OS) I know you don't.
1346
01:04:45,848 --> 01:04:48,583
You just left me to
clean up all your messes.
1347
01:04:48,585 --> 01:04:52,854
GINA (OS) That is quite enough. Thank you.
I'm gonna go out and
1348
01:04:52,856 --> 01:04:55,257
and see Zoe. See if
she's learned anything.
1349
01:04:55,259 --> 01:04:56,925
Wherever she's learning it.
1350
01:04:56,927 --> 01:05:01,863
KATE She's such a little showoff, that Zoe.
But she will learn.
1351
01:05:01,865 --> 01:05:06,301
Boys don't make passes at
girls who make passes.
1352
01:05:22,418 --> 01:05:25,287
PETRA Oh god. Mm.
1353
01:05:25,289 --> 01:05:31,026
PETRA Mm, it's, mm-mm. I mean you
really can taste that this is
1354
01:05:31,028 --> 01:05:32,060
straight out of a box.
1355
01:05:32,062 --> 01:05:34,129
JUDY ...well did you
follow the instructions?
1356
01:05:34,131 --> 01:05:37,198
You mean add water to
contents of box and stir?
1357
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:38,466
Yeah, I did that.
1358
01:05:38,468 --> 01:05:39,968
JUDY (OS) Okay you know
what, that is not helping.
1359
01:05:39,970 --> 01:05:41,236
PETRA(OS) Oh-Jesus!
A little snarky,
1360
01:05:41,238 --> 01:05:44,406
to tell you the truth. I thought
that out of the box foods were
1361
01:05:44,408 --> 01:05:45,640
just supposed to work.
1362
01:05:45,642 --> 01:05:48,143
PETRA Honey, nothing ever just works.
That's
1363
01:05:48,145 --> 01:05:51,413
why you're supposed to research
and read reviews before you buy.
1364
01:05:51,415 --> 01:05:53,081
JUDY Okay, well who
has time to do that?
1365
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:57,218
PETRA With the Internet it takes no time.
You know, most people
1366
01:05:57,220 --> 01:06:00,622
don't remember this, but not so
long ago there was very little
1367
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:03,491
we could do when something
didn't work. And now, you know,
1368
01:06:03,493 --> 01:06:05,961
if there's something that's not
working or there's a
1369
01:06:05,963 --> 01:06:08,263
manufacturer's problem I now
have a place where I can go to
1370
01:06:08,265 --> 01:06:13,134
complain. Like my voice is
actually being heard. I feel
1371
01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:16,671
like my entire life I've been
collecting information and, and,
1372
01:06:16,673 --> 01:06:20,375
and observations and, and
thoughts and, you know, I've - -
1373
01:06:20,377 --> 01:06:25,280
god, I've just wanted to let it
all out. You know? I feel like
1374
01:06:25,282 --> 01:06:31,252
my whole life's experience has
led to something. And people
1375
01:06:31,254 --> 01:06:34,155
have learned that I know
something, and they care that
1376
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:38,660
I know something. I mean, you
know, every time somebody likes
1377
01:06:38,662 --> 01:06:42,364
one of my reviews, I feel like
I've made an impact in the
1378
01:06:42,366 --> 01:06:50,171
world. That I've mattered. That
I've helped someone. I don't
1379
01:06:50,173 --> 01:06:54,242
know. I know it sounds silly.
But some people do community
1380
01:06:54,244 --> 01:06:59,114
service, some people do art,
and some people post.
1381
01:06:59,116 --> 01:07:03,084
♪ SLOW TINKLING PIANO MUSIC
1382
01:07:03,086 --> 01:07:06,621
GEORGIA Someone like Cartier-Bresson,
the reason his images are so
1383
01:07:06,623 --> 01:07:10,458
wonderful is because you could
feel him being engaged in the
1384
01:07:10,460 --> 01:07:14,429
life he was photographing. He,
he said something once like
1385
01:07:14,431 --> 01:07:18,666
photography is nothing, it's
life that I'm interested in.
1386
01:07:18,668 --> 01:07:23,471
And I just feel like it's the
opposite of that now.
1387
01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:26,307
I mean people just snap and
post without even looking at
1388
01:07:26,309 --> 01:07:28,376
what they're shooting
half the time.
1389
01:07:33,482 --> 01:07:38,620
SHANE Hello guys, uh, so, uh,
tempers are flaring a little bit.
1390
01:07:38,622 --> 01:07:42,424
So if you could get any footage,
uh, near the windows, that would
1391
01:07:42,426 --> 01:07:45,627
be great. Just sort of make sure
you stay out of sight. And, uh,
1392
01:07:45,629 --> 01:07:48,363
yeah things are going well and
I'll speak to you later. Okay.
1393
01:07:51,467 --> 01:07:56,738
RICK Just-put my picture up there
so I, I can hear it from other guys
1394
01:07:56,740 --> 01:08:01,009
that I'm attractive. That they
can let me know what they feel.
1395
01:08:01,011 --> 01:08:06,181
My wife, she, sh-she
doesn't say it, she doesn't-
1396
01:08:06,183 --> 01:08:10,685
She's not turned on by me maybe,
I don't know, maybe she is.
1397
01:08:10,687 --> 01:08:16,458
I just don't, I don't feel it.
I, uh-does that make any
1398
01:08:16,460 --> 01:08:24,460
sense? I don't know, I-I-
don't hook up with guys there.
1399
01:08:27,704 --> 01:08:32,640
I don't, I have, but
I-[STUTTERING]
1400
01:08:32,642 --> 01:08:36,511
I don't. That's not me. I mean
I'm, I'm s - - I'm straight.
1401
01:08:39,448 --> 01:08:44,219
Okay, I'm gonna, I want to give
you my number. But you're
1402
01:08:44,221 --> 01:08:46,521
gonna have to be
discreet. Please.
1403
01:08:46,523 --> 01:08:48,790
DYLAN You know the problem with apps
like Bottom Feeder is that they
1404
01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:52,127
just, they just impede the
natural progress of the
1405
01:08:52,129 --> 01:08:54,863
inevitable. You sinner boys
need more time.
1406
01:08:56,065 --> 01:08:57,632
JESSIE (OS)
Rap, sat - - Saturday,
1407
01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:59,167
LILLY(OS): Ah. JESSIE (OS):
eight points for that word.
1408
01:08:59,169 --> 01:09:00,201
LILLY (OS): Ah! JESSE
(OS): Because I am smart
1409
01:09:00,203 --> 01:09:02,337
JESSE (OS): Because I
am amazing at Boggle.
1410
01:09:02,339 --> 01:09:03,638
LILY Okay yeah, yeah,
you're bomb at Boggle.
1411
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:05,373
JESSE Yes, I am. Thank you.
1412
01:09:05,375 --> 01:09:08,376
KATE Wow, I forgot
the sound of joy.
1413
01:09:08,378 --> 01:09:10,678
Uncle Jesse's just showing off.
1414
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,847
Yeah, we figured with the cell
phones out we would go retro
1415
01:09:12,849 --> 01:09:15,583
KATE Ooh, how subversive.
Before you know it
1416
01:09:15,585 --> 01:09:16,751
we'll be talking to each other.
1417
01:09:16,753 --> 01:09:19,120
LILY How are things in
the kitchen of mayhem?
1418
01:09:19,122 --> 01:09:22,323
KATE Well, you know, that Petra
is in there quote helping her.
1419
01:09:22,325 --> 01:09:24,659
JESSE Okay well Petra's a ball buster.
She'll make sure that
1420
01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:27,629
poor dead turkey flies.
1421
01:09:27,631 --> 01:09:30,265
LILLY Well hey, do you want to
play another round with us?
1422
01:09:30,267 --> 01:09:36,204
KATE Oh wow, yeah. God, I loved board
games. Then I did this Monopoly
1423
01:09:36,206 --> 01:09:40,141
speed dating thing. Oh,
don't ever do it.
1424
01:09:40,143 --> 01:09:45,213
LILLY Fun-. We're just counting up
the scores from the last round.
1425
01:09:45,215 --> 01:09:51,686
KATE Wow, aw, I forgot. All
these little pieces, it's so-
1426
01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,755
and the sand timer.
1427
01:09:54,356 --> 01:09:57,825
LILLY Well mom's had this game for forever.
I guess we kind of
1428
01:09:57,827 --> 01:10:00,228
grew out of it. We used
to play all the time.
1429
01:10:00,230 --> 01:10:01,229
JESSE With your dad?
1430
01:10:01,231 --> 01:10:02,797
LILLY
Yeah. He loves board games.
1431
01:10:02,799 --> 01:10:03,898
KATE Games in general.
1432
01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,967
JESSE Kate, enough.
1433
01:10:07,336 --> 01:10:09,837
LILLY (OS) Hmm, uh, what kind
of games did you play when
1434
01:10:09,839 --> 01:10:16,678
JESSE Oh well, hmm, my big sisters
used to like to dress me up.
1435
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:17,745
LILLY Really?
1436
01:10:17,747 --> 01:10:19,581
KATE Yeah, we put pink
bows in his hair.
1437
01:10:19,583 --> 01:10:20,582
JESSE Pink bows.
1438
01:10:20,584 --> 01:10:24,285
JESSE Always. And then Mom would
play those little, these like little
1439
01:10:24,287 --> 01:10:28,189
folk songs and we would dance.
'Cause she had this, um,
1440
01:10:28,191 --> 01:10:32,193
JESSE (OS) right. And, and she knew
maybe three chords. But she could play
1441
01:10:32,195 --> 01:10:34,696
a thousand songs with
these three chords. Like, uh -
1442
01:10:34,698 --> 01:10:37,365
KATE (OS) Camp town races.
Doo-da, doo-da.
1443
01:10:37,367 --> 01:10:40,668
KATE And, um, the Clementine,
my darling Clementine.
1444
01:10:40,670 --> 01:10:41,669
JESSE Oh.
1445
01:10:41,671 --> 01:10:43,271
Are those like hippy songs?
1446
01:10:43,273 --> 01:10:44,872
No, they are old,
fun-LILLY (OS) Oww!
1447
01:10:44,874 --> 01:10:46,541
Campfire songs.
1448
01:10:46,543 --> 01:10:51,713
LILLY Wait, what's a campfire?
I'm kidding, I'm sorry.
1449
01:10:51,715 --> 01:10:52,580
JESSE Kate.
1450
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:58,419
BERT (OS-OUTSIDE) You can do it.
You can do it, come on. Oh, come
1451
01:10:58,421 --> 01:11:01,689
on you little fuckhead. Work.
Work, please work.
1452
01:11:01,691 --> 01:11:07,228
BERT: Just fuck, what the?
Who, who are you? How do you
1453
01:11:07,230 --> 01:11:11,566
BERT'S SUPER EGO You are having
another of your episodes. A moment of
1454
01:11:11,568 --> 01:11:15,470
psychosis brought on by
traumatic phone withdrawal.
1455
01:11:15,472 --> 01:11:17,505
BERT What?
1456
01:11:17,507 --> 01:11:21,342
BERT'S SUPER EGO This is your superego
speaking. The part of your own mind
1457
01:11:21,344 --> 01:11:22,877
that is self-critical.
1458
01:11:22,879 --> 01:11:28,883
BERT Oh. I always knew I had an ego.
I assumed it was super.
1459
01:11:28,885 --> 01:11:31,419
BERT'S SUPER EGO You must
begin an important change.
1460
01:11:31,421 --> 01:11:32,854
[ECHOING] Change,
change, change, change.
1461
01:11:32,856 --> 01:11:34,856
SUPER EGO
One that begins with a search.
1462
01:11:34,858 --> 01:11:37,425
BERT Okay wait-what,
what, what search?
1463
01:11:37,427 --> 01:11:43,564
BERT'S SUPER EGO For tranquility. For
silence. And most of all for meaning.
1464
01:11:43,566 --> 01:11:47,535
GINA (OS) Well it's great
looking at you out here.
1465
01:11:47,537 --> 01:11:48,536
ZOE Hey, Granny.
1466
01:11:48,538 --> 01:11:50,004
GINA
I'm not disturbing you am I?
1467
01:11:50,006 --> 01:11:52,573
ZOE No, no, not at all.
Please sit down.
1468
01:11:54,410 --> 01:11:55,810
GINA Okay.
1469
01:11:57,246 --> 01:11:58,246
ZOE How's auntie Kate?
1470
01:11:58,248 --> 01:12:00,315
GINA She's drunk again.
1471
01:12:01,817 --> 01:12:03,885
ZOE That must be hard
for you to watch.
1472
01:12:04,753 --> 01:12:12,753
GINA Mm. I suppose I should be used
to it after all these years. But
1473
01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:21,730
although the last time I really
thought it was the last time.
1474
01:12:25,808 --> 01:12:27,775
SHANE Hey guys, I'm trying
to find my friend Bert.
1475
01:12:27,777 --> 01:12:31,446
DYLAN He probably took one
look at that torched turkey
1476
01:12:31,448 --> 01:12:33,314
and he headed straight for
Denny's.
1477
01:12:33,316 --> 01:12:35,717
Torched Turkey sounds
like an indie band.
1478
01:12:35,719 --> 01:12:38,586
RICK Speaking of missing persons
I'm gonna go look for my wife.
1479
01:12:38,588 --> 01:12:40,355
DYLAN Yeah, you do that, Rick.
1480
01:12:40,357 --> 01:12:42,523
RICK See you, Dylan.
1481
01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:46,561
DYLAN How'd your interview
with, uh, Jesse go?
1482
01:12:46,563 --> 01:12:49,497
SHANE Yeah, no, he's, he's,
uh, he's an interesting guy.
1483
01:12:49,499 --> 01:12:51,966
He kind of he wants to live
in a world of email. You know,
1484
01:12:51,968 --> 01:12:55,603
like, uh, Tron but more banal.
1485
01:12:58,474 --> 01:13:00,508
DYLAN Want another
interview per chance?
1486
01:13:00,510 --> 01:13:02,577
SHANE Yeah, I need to
locate my friend Bert.
1487
01:13:02,579 --> 01:13:05,313
There are rumors that he's, uh,
he's acting like himself.
1488
01:13:05,315 --> 01:13:07,615
DYLAN Well we can do it fast.
And, uh, I might be too
1489
01:13:07,617 --> 01:13:10,051
fat and stuffed after dinner to
have my picture taken, so.
1490
01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:12,620
SHANE Okay. Sure, yeah, if,
if you don't mind, uh,
1491
01:13:12,622 --> 01:13:13,888
doing a, a fast one.
1492
01:13:13,890 --> 01:13:15,123
DYLAN Famous for fast ones.
1493
01:13:16,425 --> 01:13:17,458
It's an American thing.
1494
01:13:17,460 --> 01:13:20,962
SHANE:
Okay. Like, uh, fast food?
1495
01:13:24,633 --> 01:13:27,602
ZOE I wish that something or someone
would come along and she could
1496
01:13:27,604 --> 01:13:29,103
find some happiness.
1497
01:13:32,808 --> 01:13:35,743
GINA Mm-hmm. Sometimes I worry
that it's all my fault.
1498
01:13:35,745 --> 01:13:42,650
ZOE No, no, Granny. Of course it's not.
It's like me worrying about
1499
01:13:42,652 --> 01:13:46,754
Mom's divorce. There's only
so much you can do.
1500
01:13:46,756 --> 01:13:49,524
GINA You have taken
such good care of her.
1501
01:13:49,526 --> 01:13:52,593
ZOE I have had to learn
to set boundaries.
1502
01:13:53,729 --> 01:13:59,967
GINA Believe me it's better that way.
But when it's your child,
1503
01:14:01,670 --> 01:14:08,776
it's so hard. Look at all of
mine. They're all unhappy.
1504
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:12,647
ZOE Well unhappiness is just
part of the human condition.
1505
01:14:12,649 --> 01:14:16,784
It's like what I'm reading about
in French class. So much of life
1506
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:22,957
is about waiting for something
to happen. And the sadness
1507
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:25,026
when it doesn't happen.
1508
01:14:27,029 --> 01:14:29,997
DAVID Petra and I tried to have
a rule where we turned off our
1509
01:14:29,999 --> 01:14:35,970
phone one day a week. Technology
free day. Ironically it was
1510
01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:37,772
supposed to help us connect.
1511
01:14:37,774 --> 01:14:44,045
DAVID I kept catching her little
cheats as she'd call them.
1512
01:14:44,047 --> 01:14:47,882
But, um, they weren't
little cheats to me.
1513
01:14:49,918 --> 01:14:53,187
SHANE When I started I, I
wanted people to talk about
1514
01:14:53,189 --> 01:14:56,491
their past and, and how they
give thanks for their so-called
1515
01:14:56,493 --> 01:14:58,826
blessings. But all anyone seems
to want to talk about is
1516
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:04,098
technology. So what comes to
mind when, when turkey and
1517
01:15:04,100 --> 01:15:07,101
technology and,
and family merge?
1518
01:15:07,103 --> 01:15:15,103
DYLAN Um, okay wow, that's intense.
Um, I-I was a latch key kid.
1519
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:18,713
Um, I was, you know, I'd come
home every day and just be alone
1520
01:15:18,715 --> 01:15:22,950
for four or five hours. And so
I'd just rely on myself.
1521
01:15:22,952 --> 01:15:29,023
Find ways to keep myself
entertained. To not, uh, feel
1522
01:15:29,025 --> 01:15:34,195
lonely. I guess the phone
reminds me of that.
1523
01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,264
SHANE Do you call the
phone mommy or daddy?
1524
01:15:37,766 --> 01:15:41,802
DYLAN Well I guess it, it's a
little bit of both. I have these,
1525
01:15:41,804 --> 01:15:43,838
I have these strange
ideas of the future sometimes.
1526
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:47,508
Um, like someday when we're born
we'll be handed a phone and it
1527
01:15:47,510 --> 01:15:49,844
becomes our, our nanny,
1528
01:15:49,846 --> 01:15:53,047
our teacher, our friend
and companion.
1529
01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:55,883
SHANE Well I suppose little
children are everywhere with
1530
01:15:55,885 --> 01:15:57,118
their phones now.
1531
01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:02,590
SHANE Do you think that's a bad
development? To have people
1532
01:16:02,592 --> 01:16:05,860
brought up by phone
nannies, as you suggest?
1533
01:16:05,862 --> 01:16:08,596
DYLAN I don't. There's some
piss poor parenting out there.
1534
01:16:08,598 --> 01:16:12,199
But a phone, a phone can
watch over you, make sure you
1535
01:16:12,201 --> 01:16:15,102
don't get lost. It can make
sure you get fed on time.
1536
01:16:15,104 --> 01:16:16,771
It can teach you new things.
1537
01:16:16,773 --> 01:16:20,274
SHANE But doesn't that take
away a, a human element? I mean
1538
01:16:20,276 --> 01:16:23,044
studies have shown there are,
that a bottle isn't the same as
1539
01:16:23,046 --> 01:16:24,946
the nipple, for example.
1540
01:16:24,948 --> 01:16:27,615
DYLAN If a phone can teach you how
to play a chord, what's the need
1541
01:16:27,617 --> 01:16:29,884
for a music teacher? If, if a
phone can inspire me
1542
01:16:29,886 --> 01:16:31,786
to workout, what's the
need for a coach?
1543
01:16:31,788 --> 01:16:34,922
SHANE Yeah surely there's, there's
something missing? I mean-All
1544
01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:38,159
these jobs, they're not
just mechanical.
1545
01:16:38,161 --> 01:16:40,261
Or, well maybe they are
1546
01:16:41,797 --> 01:16:47,768
♪ EERIE TINKLING MUSIC
1547
01:16:47,770 --> 01:16:50,171
PETRA Don't worry about David
and Jennifer, they, they'll
1548
01:16:50,173 --> 01:16:53,841
just be fine. In fact I should
probably look on them.
1549
01:16:53,843 --> 01:16:54,875
Oh hey Kimmy.
1550
01:16:54,877 --> 01:17:02,877
PETRA So, uh, have you seen David?
Wh-why, why do you suddenly
1551
01:17:03,987 --> 01:17:08,122
look like that?
What? Where is he?
1552
01:17:08,124 --> 01:17:09,991
KIMMY
He's chatting with Georgia.
1553
01:17:09,993 --> 01:17:12,059
PETRA With Georgia and Rick?
1554
01:17:13,128 --> 01:17:20,101
KIMMY Just Georgia. Don't
shoot the messenger.
1555
01:17:20,103 --> 01:17:23,671
PETRA Why do I get the feeling
that I should suddenly look for
1556
01:17:23,673 --> 01:17:28,042
my husband? So what exactly
are they talking about?
1557
01:17:28,044 --> 01:17:32,179
KIMMY Living life online.
Apparently Rick isn't-paying enough
1558
01:17:32,181 --> 01:17:35,650
PETRA Oh that's classic. And I'm
sure David was complaining about
1559
01:17:35,652 --> 01:17:39,120
me in the same way. You know, I
know how and what that man
1560
01:17:39,122 --> 01:17:40,621
thinks at all times.
1561
01:17:40,623 --> 01:17:44,725
JUDY Well you do pay a lot of
attention to your online life.
1562
01:17:44,727 --> 01:17:45,593
PETRA No I don't.
1563
01:17:45,595 --> 01:17:51,732
PETRA What? No, uh, excuse me.
I just believe that my online
1564
01:17:51,734 --> 01:17:55,936
persona is more influential and
more creative and more, you
1565
01:17:55,938 --> 01:17:58,339
know, maybe more vibrant
than my actual persona.
1566
01:17:59,876 --> 01:18:05,046
PETRA Well I beg to differ.
I think there's very little
1567
01:18:05,048 --> 01:18:09,283
difference between real life and
online life. It's all life.
1568
01:18:09,285 --> 01:18:11,419
We're living it, right now.
1569
01:18:11,853 --> 01:18:14,321
JUDY Yeah, no actually what you're
talking about is actually more
1570
01:18:14,323 --> 01:18:16,724
typing than it is living.
1571
01:18:18,660 --> 01:18:25,332
PETRA Same diff. Wow. Whatever,
look, um, I think that this
1572
01:18:25,334 --> 01:18:28,969
situation here is beyond
salvation. So I'm gonna gather
1573
01:18:28,971 --> 01:18:32,106
up my little team and
head for a reservation.
1574
01:18:40,649 --> 01:18:42,283
LILLY (OS)
Okay, Gutty is not a word.
1575
01:18:42,285 --> 01:18:45,419
JESSE (OS) It is, I'm telling you.
It means to have a large gut.
1576
01:18:45,421 --> 01:18:46,721
LILLY No way.
1577
01:18:46,723 --> 01:18:47,722
KATE I don't buy it.
1578
01:18:47,724 --> 01:18:53,994
JESSE Listen, I call people, myself
mostly, gutty, all the time.
1579
01:18:53,996 --> 01:18:57,798
JESSE: I'm not. I'm not,
I'm telling you, I'm not.
1580
01:18:57,800 --> 01:19:02,770
LILLY All right. Shit. I'm
still not getting any bars.
1581
01:19:02,772 --> 01:19:05,339
This is getting really freaky,
how are we gonna figure it out?
1582
01:19:05,341 --> 01:19:08,442
KATE Have you heard of
something called a dictionary?
1583
01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:11,245
LILLY I mean yeah, I've,
I've got that app.
1584
01:19:11,247 --> 01:19:14,682
KATE Well the app was based on a
real thing. And I'm sure there's one
1585
01:19:14,684 --> 01:19:17,451
LILLY I've never seen one.
Mom just Kindles everything.
1586
01:19:17,453 --> 01:19:19,820
JESSE Are, are you seriously telling
me that there's not a dictionary
1587
01:19:19,822 --> 01:19:24,959
LILLY No, I mean don't get on
my case about it. I'm only 16.
1588
01:19:24,961 --> 01:19:28,162
KATE I don't believe this.
Little miss art critic doesn't
1589
01:19:28,164 --> 01:19:30,364
have a dictionary in this house?
1590
01:19:30,366 --> 01:19:32,233
That's really, really sad.
1591
01:19:32,235 --> 01:19:33,701
LILLY Why is it sad?
1592
01:19:33,703 --> 01:19:35,770
JESSE I, I don't know, I just
feel like every house ought
1593
01:19:35,772 --> 01:19:37,938
to have a dictionary, even
if nobody uses it.
1594
01:19:37,940 --> 01:19:41,475
KATE Because it's a part of
the infrastructure of a home.
1595
01:19:41,477 --> 01:19:45,980
You have the roof, you have the
front door, you have cable, and
1596
01:19:45,982 --> 01:19:47,414
you have a dictionary.
1597
01:19:48,183 --> 01:19:53,487
JUDY Maybe I should start a blog.
Judy's failed life dot com.
1598
01:19:53,489 --> 01:19:55,289
And this will be
the inaugural entry.
1599
01:19:55,291 --> 01:19:58,793
KIMMY Your life is not a failure, okay.
You've got really
1600
01:19:58,795 --> 01:20:02,263
nice kids. You've got a cozy
house. Your career is about to
1601
01:20:02,265 --> 01:20:05,800
break through again. I mean
you've got a bright mind and a
1602
01:20:05,802 --> 01:20:10,805
really warm heart. You've got it
all as far as I'm concerned.
1603
01:20:10,807 --> 01:20:14,275
JUDY Well then how
come I'm not happy?
1604
01:20:14,277 --> 01:20:19,280
KIMMY Well I'm gonna sound like
an ancient Chinese proverb, but
1605
01:20:19,282 --> 01:20:24,418
the best we can do is be
content. You know, happiness
1606
01:20:24,420 --> 01:20:28,489
only comes in brief,
brilliant flashes.
1607
01:20:29,858 --> 01:20:32,760
It's been a long fucking time
since I've had one of those.
1608
01:20:32,762 --> 01:20:37,231
KIMMY They seem to be happening
less and less for everyone I know.
1609
01:20:37,233 --> 01:20:39,333
JUDY Will you help me?
1610
01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:42,970
I mean I've got all those people
to feed and I don't know, we can
1611
01:20:42,972 --> 01:20:44,839
find takeout or something.
1612
01:20:44,841 --> 01:20:46,473
KIMMY I mean how, how do
we even know what's open?
1613
01:20:46,475 --> 01:20:48,843
I can't call or, or search.
1614
01:20:48,845 --> 01:20:51,846
JUDY Well how did we
search in the old days?
1615
01:20:53,415 --> 01:20:55,015
KIMMY I don't remember.
1616
01:20:56,852 --> 01:21:03,190
JUDY I remember. We used
to go to Korea Town and we
1617
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,893
would go and we would find a
restaurant that we had never
1618
01:21:05,895 --> 01:21:09,196
been to before. And we would
just walk in, the sign wouldn't
1619
01:21:09,198 --> 01:21:14,268
even be in English. And we would
ask for the most popular thing.
1620
01:21:14,270 --> 01:21:18,138
On the menu and it be-became
sort of a tradition, you know.
1621
01:21:18,140 --> 01:21:21,275
It was like a family
bonding ritual.
1622
01:21:21,277 --> 01:21:24,345
KIMMY
And you don't do it anymore?
1623
01:21:26,281 --> 01:21:30,084
JUDY
Never. Not since the divorce.
1624
01:21:30,086 --> 01:21:31,986
I mean we tried to do
it a couple times,
1625
01:21:31,988 --> 01:21:36,557
the girls and I, and Zoe would
find a bad review online...
1626
01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:39,994
But then we'd, you know,
we wouldn't go. If it's
1627
01:21:39,996 --> 01:21:44,131
one thing the Internet is good
for, it's convincing you
1628
01:21:44,133 --> 01:21:46,100
not to do something.
1629
01:21:46,102 --> 01:21:50,604
KIMMY I used to go to all those
Korean places when I was growing up.
1630
01:21:50,606 --> 01:21:53,440
It feels like a really long time
since I've been down there.
1631
01:21:55,243 --> 01:21:58,579
In Korea, we have a
Thanksgiving called Chuseok.
1632
01:21:58,581 --> 01:22:02,016
You visit the tomb of
your ancestors, offer
1633
01:22:02,018 --> 01:22:03,417
them food and drinks.
1634
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:05,219
DAVID(OS)
Doesn't it seem, I don't know...
1635
01:22:05,221 --> 01:22:06,954
KIMMY Nobody really
seems to do it anymore.
1636
01:22:06,956 --> 01:22:07,955
DAVID (OS) Really quiet?
1637
01:22:07,957 --> 01:22:12,426
KIMMY(OS) It's like all the ancient
traditions are being lost.
1638
01:22:12,428 --> 01:22:15,462
DAVID How long do you think
we've been out here?
1639
01:22:15,464 --> 01:22:17,531
GEORGIA I don't know.
1640
01:22:20,568 --> 01:22:22,536
My phone's black.
1641
01:22:22,538 --> 01:22:24,638
DAVID Is your battery dead?
1642
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:25,572
It won't start.
1643
01:22:25,574 --> 01:22:27,641
DAVID Here, use my phone.
1644
01:22:30,312 --> 01:22:32,112
Mine's dark also.
1645
01:22:32,114 --> 01:22:33,981
GEORGIA Maybe it's an omen.
1646
01:22:33,983 --> 01:22:39,019
GEORGIA Mm-hmm. You
want to go for a walk?
1647
01:22:39,521 --> 01:22:43,357
DAVID Yes. Yes, I do.
1648
01:23:21,963 --> 01:23:29,963
PETRA
David? Huh, well. Hello? David?
1649
01:23:36,344 --> 01:23:39,380
KIMMY It feels so strange not
to have a specific destination.
1650
01:23:39,382 --> 01:23:41,682
JUDY We may not have a destination,
but we have a mission.
1651
01:23:41,684 --> 01:23:44,651
JUDY We will not go
hungry on Thanksgiving
1652
01:23:44,653 --> 01:23:46,620
[LAUGHTER]
1653
01:23:49,290 --> 01:23:50,691
JUDY Here we go.
1654
01:23:56,398 --> 01:23:59,333
LILLY: There's like this weird
nostalgia for inconvenience.
1655
01:23:59,335 --> 01:24:03,303
I mean listen, were paper
letters and paper newspapers
1656
01:24:03,305 --> 01:24:07,975
so much better? Or
like having to wake up at six
1657
01:24:07,977 --> 01:24:12,746
a.m. to go wait in line to buy a
concert ticket? Oh it's so
1658
01:24:12,748 --> 01:24:19,153
great. Come on. Life is
so much better now.
1659
01:24:19,155 --> 01:24:21,221
You guys really had it hard.
1660
01:24:21,689 --> 01:24:24,992
JESSE Look, I'm not saying that I don't
like those conveniences. I just-
1661
01:24:24,994 --> 01:24:26,994
KATE No, it's true,
something is lost.
1662
01:24:26,996 --> 01:24:29,229
LILLY No, but so much is gained.
1663
01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,098
KATE No, but I'm not
sure it's worth it.
1664
01:24:31,100 --> 01:24:34,568
JESSE I mean I feel it too.
Like something has been lost.
1665
01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:39,773
LILLY Uh-Your silly. I-What is lost?
What is it?
1666
01:24:39,775 --> 01:24:42,443
KATE I don't know,
it's hard to explain.
1667
01:24:42,445 --> 01:24:46,013
I mean I-I'm just curious. I'm
not trying to be difficult.
1668
01:24:46,015 --> 01:24:49,583
JESSE Okay, maybe it's like-
it's like the pleasure of
1669
01:24:49,585 --> 01:24:53,754
something was directly related
to the inconvenience.
1670
01:24:53,756 --> 01:24:57,224
KATE There were little victories
that came from trying
1671
01:24:57,226 --> 01:25:00,360
to figure something out and
feeling needed. Like
1672
01:25:00,362 --> 01:25:06,800
the dictionary needed us. Maps,
newspapers, needed us.
1673
01:25:06,802 --> 01:25:10,704
Stores needed us. You know, I
mean you could only find the
1674
01:25:10,706 --> 01:25:13,073
word when you participated
with the dictionary.
1675
01:25:13,075 --> 01:25:16,443
It was your knowledge of the
alphabet and the time
1676
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:19,546
and the care that you
took to look through it. And,
1677
01:25:19,548 --> 01:25:23,484
you know, dealing with all these
pages that were so thin and you
1678
01:25:23,486 --> 01:25:28,555
go too far this way. And then
this way. And then where is the
1679
01:25:28,557 --> 01:25:34,394
and then there it is. There
it is. You know. I mean it took
1680
01:25:34,396 --> 01:25:37,231
something. It meant something.
It meant something to find a
1681
01:25:37,233 --> 01:25:41,168
word and look it up. And now
it's just click. Just a click
1682
01:25:41,170 --> 01:25:43,337
and it's all the same clicking
with the same amount of
1683
01:25:43,339 --> 01:25:46,406
non-effort. A click to make a
reservation, click to pay your
1684
01:25:46,408 --> 01:25:50,744
bills, click to buy something. I
mean we've totally convenienced
1685
01:25:50,746 --> 01:25:52,513
our self out of being needed.
1686
01:25:52,515 --> 01:25:57,584
JESSE And the worst part is, is we
have taken the most sacred thing
1687
01:25:57,586 --> 01:26:01,822
in the world, and that's finding
love, finding a relationship
1688
01:26:01,824 --> 01:26:06,660
and we have reduced it
into a one-click game.
1689
01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:13,800
This device is, it's
trapped us inside. I never go
1690
01:26:13,802 --> 01:26:18,872
out anymore. I miss going out. I
miss the random shit that would
1691
01:26:18,874 --> 01:26:21,108
happen when I would go out.
1692
01:26:21,110 --> 01:26:22,743
LILLY I don't get it, why
don't you just go out?
1693
01:26:22,745 --> 01:26:24,444
KATE Oh my god, look.
1694
01:26:24,446 --> 01:26:25,379
JESSE What?
1695
01:26:25,381 --> 01:26:26,713
JUDY Right here.
1696
01:26:26,715 --> 01:26:27,714
JESSE Gout.
1697
01:26:27,716 --> 01:26:31,118
KATE No, go out. It's a sign.
1698
01:26:31,120 --> 01:26:33,687
LILLY
Hello, I just said that. Go out.
1699
01:26:33,689 --> 01:26:39,193
KATE I know and there it is.
Go out. We need to go out.
1700
01:26:39,195 --> 01:26:41,628
JESSE This, this is my new mantra.
Go out.
1701
01:26:41,630 --> 01:26:43,363
KATE We need to go out.
1702
01:26:43,365 --> 01:26:45,132
JESSE
Let's go out. We're going out.
1703
01:26:45,134 --> 01:26:47,167
KATE Yeah, let's go out.
Come on, you coming?
1704
01:26:47,169 --> 01:26:48,235
LILLY No, you guys are weird.
1705
01:26:48,237 --> 01:26:49,603
JESSE We're going out.
KATE I am so excited.
1706
01:26:49,605 --> 01:26:51,772
KATE We don't know what we're
gonna do, we're just gonna see.
1707
01:26:51,774 --> 01:26:56,577
KATE See what happens, life.
Life happens out.
1708
01:26:56,579 --> 01:26:57,544
JESSE What are we gonna do?
1709
01:26:57,546 --> 01:27:01,582
JESSE We're gonna buy a 20 cent CD
for twenty - twenty two dollars.
1710
01:27:01,584 --> 01:27:03,250
KATE We're gonna wait
in line for something.
1711
01:27:03,252 --> 01:27:04,318
JESSE We could get a dictionary.
1712
01:27:04,320 --> 01:27:05,886
KATE We could get a
dictionary-Just go.
1713
01:27:05,888 --> 01:27:08,956
BERT'S SUPER EGO You are not
living to your full potential.
1714
01:27:09,592 --> 01:27:13,460
SUPER EGO You spend too much
time taking selfies and
1715
01:27:13,462 --> 01:27:14,661
looking at yourself.
1716
01:27:14,663 --> 01:27:16,196
BERT
Is that a good or a bad thing?
1717
01:27:16,198 --> 01:27:18,832
'Cause people are always telling
me that I have a good look.
1718
01:27:19,467 --> 01:27:24,905
BERT'S SUPER EGO A good look is meaningless.
What is important is inside yourself.
1719
01:27:25,840 --> 01:27:28,942
BERT When you say inside,
inside myself, like,
1720
01:27:28,944 --> 01:27:32,779
like inside myself?
What? What's in there?
1721
01:27:32,781 --> 01:27:36,550
BERT'S SUPER EGO Much more than your
selfie would suggest. Don't you
1722
01:27:36,552 --> 01:27:38,685
want to find out how much more?
1723
01:27:38,687 --> 01:27:43,657
BERT Okay. How do I do that?
1724
01:27:43,659 --> 01:27:47,728
BERT'S SUPER EGO: Your true self
will be found with quiet reflection.
1725
01:27:47,730 --> 01:27:52,933
Go forth now, dear Bertram,
in quiet reflection.
1726
01:27:53,868 --> 01:27:55,269
JESSE
It's sort of beautiful out.
1727
01:27:55,271 --> 01:27:59,406
KATE Yeah, it's still light.
Where are we going? Oh look.
1728
01:28:01,309 --> 01:28:02,476
JESSE What, really? KATE Yeah.
1729
01:28:02,478 --> 01:28:03,443
JESSE Shut up.
1730
01:28:03,445 --> 01:28:06,680
KATE I am so. Out with the blackberry.
Come on.
1731
01:28:06,682 --> 01:28:08,315
We're really going out.
1732
01:28:08,317 --> 01:28:09,783
JESSE Don't you shame
my blackberry.
1733
01:28:09,785 --> 01:28:15,222
JESSE I don't know, I'm naked and scared.
Am I fat? Gutty.
1734
01:28:15,224 --> 01:28:16,356
KATE (OS) You're not gutty.
1735
01:28:16,358 --> 01:28:17,624
JESSE
Cell phone's... [INAUDIBLE]
1736
01:28:17,626 --> 01:28:20,627
KATE Such a cheat. So not right.
Poor Lilly.
1737
01:28:20,629 --> 01:28:22,296
BERT (OS)
My selfie is not myself.
1738
01:28:22,298 --> 01:28:23,797
ASSISTANT 1 No it's, it's
good, they can't see me.
1739
01:28:23,799 --> 01:28:25,732
BERT (OS)
My selfie is not myself.
1740
01:28:25,734 --> 01:28:30,237
PETRA (OS) David? David?
Damn it, where is he?
1741
01:28:30,239 --> 01:28:31,972
Oh, have you seen your wife?
1742
01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:33,974
RICK I'm not exactly
sure where she is.
1743
01:28:33,976 --> 01:28:36,410
PETRA Well I heard she
was flirting with David.
1744
01:28:36,412 --> 01:28:38,845
RICK That's great, thanks for
the information. Why don't you
1745
01:28:38,847 --> 01:28:42,015
PETRA What are you doing out
here anyway, are you, are you
1746
01:28:42,017 --> 01:28:46,586
getting reception? Is reception
back? All right well I'm, I'm
1747
01:28:46,588 --> 01:28:48,855
not getting anything here. Just-
1748
01:28:48,857 --> 01:28:51,425
PETRA I know I just - -
this is a real emergency.
1749
01:28:51,427 --> 01:28:55,696
Excuse me? Don't touch me
Give me my fucking phone.
1750
01:28:55,698 --> 01:28:57,698
RICK Are you kidding me?
You're stark raving mad.
1751
01:28:57,700 --> 01:28:58,999
Oh well fuck you. You just
fucking smashed my phone.
1752
01:28:59,001 --> 01:28:59,800
You shouldn't grab it.
1753
01:28:59,802 --> 01:29:02,402
I shouldn't grab you? You
grabbed my fucking phone.
1754
01:29:02,404 --> 01:29:04,538
How about that? Now your
phone is in the water.
1755
01:29:04,540 --> 01:29:05,605
PETRA What is wrong with you?
1756
01:29:05,607 --> 01:29:06,606
RICK What's wrong with me?
1757
01:29:06,608 --> 01:29:08,842
PETRA What-that is
my life's work.
1758
01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:11,511
RICK That's pathetic. Your
phone is your life's work?
1759
01:29:11,513 --> 01:29:12,946
Shouldn't your husband, your
daughter, your family
1760
01:29:12,948 --> 01:29:16,850
PETRA E-Excuse me. Do not talk
about my family, especially not
1761
01:29:16,852 --> 01:29:22,589
my daughter. Where is,
where is Jennifer?
1762
01:29:22,591 --> 01:29:23,757
RICK Go on, go find her.
PETRA Jennifer?
1763
01:29:23,759 --> 01:29:25,425
PETRA Jennifer? Baby? Go on. Go
1764
01:29:25,427 --> 01:29:27,461
RICK Mom of the year. Get
the hell out of here.
1765
01:29:27,463 --> 01:29:28,662
PETRA Honey.
1766
01:29:36,037 --> 01:29:44,037
Jennifer? Ah. Oh,
Oh shit. [CRYING]
1767
01:30:35,897 --> 01:30:37,964
PETRA Jennifer?
1768
01:30:54,382 --> 01:30:56,817
ZOE Oh, what happened in here?
1769
01:30:56,819 --> 01:30:59,886
GINA Thanksgiving got
the best of her.
1770
01:31:00,421 --> 01:31:02,489
ZOE Where is she?
1771
01:31:04,792 --> 01:31:07,861
GINA I think she probably
wants to be alone.
1772
01:31:07,863 --> 01:31:12,933
ZOE Oh, I'm not sure if this
is funny or tragic. I'm sure
1773
01:31:12,935 --> 01:31:15,202
I could figure it out if it
weren't for the hunger pangs.
1774
01:31:16,404 --> 01:31:18,638
LILLY Oh my God what the fuck!
1775
01:31:18,640 --> 01:31:19,739
GINA Lilly!
1776
01:31:19,741 --> 01:31:21,408
LILLY Oh I'm sorry, granny.
1777
01:31:21,410 --> 01:31:23,877
ZOE What are we gonna do?
This is a disaster.
1778
01:31:23,879 --> 01:31:30,517
GINA Mm, well I have an admission to make.
I knew something like this
1779
01:31:30,519 --> 01:31:37,424
could possibly happen, so I made
a backup thanksgiving dinner.
1780
01:31:37,426 --> 01:31:40,861
And it's in my fridge
right now at the house.
1781
01:31:40,863 --> 01:31:41,862
ZOE Seriously Granny?
1782
01:31:41,864 --> 01:31:43,263
GINA Yeah.
1783
01:31:54,976 --> 01:31:59,446
CAR GPS Welcome to your navigation system.
My name is Ethyl.
1784
01:31:59,448 --> 01:32:00,580
GINA Okay ethyl.
1785
01:32:00,582 --> 01:32:01,781
CAR GPS How may I help you?
1786
01:32:01,783 --> 01:32:03,049
GINA Hit it girl.
1787
01:32:05,052 --> 01:32:08,522
DYLAN (OS) Yes, I know. I know
that everything I use my phone for
1788
01:32:08,524 --> 01:32:13,693
sex, love, uh, companionship
are just stand-ins for the, for
1789
01:32:13,695 --> 01:32:16,162
the real thing. I, I know that,
I know a phone can't love you.
1790
01:32:16,164 --> 01:32:17,898
Can't nurture you.
1791
01:32:17,900 --> 01:32:19,966
SHANE Why would you want it to?
1792
01:32:20,601 --> 01:32:26,306
DYLAN Because it's easier than
working things out with real people.
1793
01:32:27,542 --> 01:32:32,646
SHANE [LAUGHING] Yes. I
suppose you're quite right.
1794
01:32:34,749 --> 01:32:36,116
DYLAN I got to go.
1795
01:32:36,118 --> 01:32:38,184
SHANE You suddenly in a rush?
1796
01:32:39,687 --> 01:32:41,121
DYLAN I don't, I don't even
know what I'm doing here.
1797
01:32:41,123 --> 01:32:44,190
I should be with my own
family on Thanksgiving.
1798
01:32:44,192 --> 01:32:48,628
SHANE Well, you gonna make it?
This is like one of those old
1799
01:32:48,630 --> 01:32:50,597
Rosalind Russell movies.
1800
01:32:50,599 --> 01:32:52,666
DYLAN I hope so.
1801
01:33:02,610 --> 01:33:05,679
CAR GPS
Prepare to detour in 500 feet.
1802
01:33:06,180 --> 01:33:07,714
GINA See what you did?
1803
01:33:07,716 --> 01:33:08,648
CAR GPS Detour now.
1804
01:33:08,650 --> 01:33:10,584
GINA What did I do?
1805
01:33:10,586 --> 01:33:13,887
GINA I've already been
down that road, Ethyl.
1806
01:33:13,889 --> 01:33:17,223
CAR GPS Action not recognized.
Resuming previous route.
1807
01:33:17,225 --> 01:33:18,658
GINA Oh, okay.
1808
01:33:18,660 --> 01:33:20,126
CAR GPS
Continue for three miles.
1809
01:33:20,128 --> 01:33:22,262
GINA Here we are. CAR
GPS Then turn right.
1810
01:33:23,764 --> 01:33:25,865
GPS Continue straight
then make a U-Turn.
1811
01:33:25,867 --> 01:33:27,934
GINA Ah.
1812
01:33:28,569 --> 01:33:30,537
CAR GPS Continue for three miles.
Then turn right.
1813
01:33:30,539 --> 01:33:32,138
Oh god now I need gas.
Then you will arrive
1814
01:33:32,140 --> 01:33:35,575
See what you did? Approaching
Dusky Glen road.
1815
01:33:35,577 --> 01:33:37,844
What? I'm going myself.
1816
01:33:37,846 --> 01:33:40,647
GPS I'm sorry but no
satellites can be located.
1817
01:33:40,649 --> 01:33:45,885
CAR GPS Welcome to your navigation
system, how may I help you?
1818
01:33:47,989 --> 01:33:49,289
SHANE Okay ladies, you want
to come out and we'll do the
1819
01:33:49,291 --> 01:33:57,291
final shot. So it was a
tumultuous, uh, Thanksgiving,
1820
01:33:58,634 --> 01:34:01,768
With some unexpectedly
thought-provoking dialogue.
1821
01:34:01,770 --> 01:34:05,839
Um, now I don't like my art to
have lessons. I like, I like
1822
01:34:05,841 --> 01:34:10,110
them just to be dollops
of human foibles and triumphs.
1823
01:34:10,112 --> 01:34:14,781
So I would like to end with a
question. And, uh, that is
1824
01:34:14,783 --> 01:34:18,952
the next time you pick up your
device, I'd like you to ask
1825
01:34:18,954 --> 01:34:21,354
yourself what is it I'm
searching for? And is
1826
01:34:21,356 --> 01:34:25,625
this the way to find it? Um,
okay, well that's it.
1827
01:34:25,627 --> 01:34:27,193
I'd just like to thank all the
new Twitter followers.
1828
01:34:27,195 --> 01:34:29,863
You know, you guys are the
faceless fans that make
1829
01:34:29,865 --> 01:34:33,767
it worthwhile. And, uh, we'll
see you again next time.
1830
01:34:35,870 --> 01:34:37,103
ASSISTANT 2 How'd it go?
1831
01:34:37,105 --> 01:34:40,173
SHANE Practically
perfect in every way.
1832
01:34:40,608 --> 01:34:42,742
ASSISTANT 2 I can't believe
that thing actually worked.
1833
01:34:42,744 --> 01:34:48,615
SHANE Amazon, 35 dollars. They're
quite popular, actually.
1834
01:34:48,617 --> 01:34:51,117
At some point I can imagine
everyone having a phone jammer
1835
01:34:51,119 --> 01:34:52,686
in their homes.
1836
01:34:52,688 --> 01:34:55,989
ASSISTANT 2 Yeah, I don't
see that happening either.
1837
01:34:55,991 --> 01:34:59,392
SHANE Well, mark my words, the
future is not in the search but
1838
01:34:59,394 --> 01:35:03,763
the silence my
friends. Now come on.
1839
01:35:05,166 --> 01:35:09,235
♪ DIGITAL MUSIC
1840
01:35:10,137 --> 01:35:18,137
[Sounds of the wild...
Coyotes, birds... night.]
155652
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