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1
00:00:01,039 --> 00:00:03,289
- Hi, Jill, alcoholic.
- OTHERS: Hi, Jill.
2
00:00:03,291 --> 00:00:04,424
Things are good.
3
00:00:04,426 --> 00:00:06,443
I got my 30-day chip yesterday.
4
00:00:06,468 --> 00:00:07,594
Some of y'all weren't there,
5
00:00:07,596 --> 00:00:09,879
so I thought I'd give
you a chance to applaud.
6
00:00:12,851 --> 00:00:15,109
Oh, come on! Carla got more applause
7
00:00:15,134 --> 00:00:17,084
for not sleeping with
her brother-in-law.
8
00:00:19,114 --> 00:00:20,613
Better.
9
00:00:21,411 --> 00:00:24,254
Anyway, my only complaint is,
now that I'm a newcomer again,
10
00:00:24,279 --> 00:00:26,396
I'm not supposed to date for a year.
11
00:00:26,398 --> 00:00:29,678
I mean, the Lamborghini's
gassed up and fully detailed,
12
00:00:29,703 --> 00:00:32,015
but Marjorie won't let me
take it out of the garage.
13
00:00:32,398 --> 00:00:33,620
Give it time.
14
00:00:33,622 --> 00:00:36,031
Vroom-vroom,
Marjorie! Vroom-vroom!
15
00:00:37,184 --> 00:00:39,085
That's all I got.
16
00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:43,630
- Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic.
- OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.
17
00:00:43,632 --> 00:00:45,498
Some of you may recall my recent share
18
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,251
about my fiance’s
17-year-old dog
19
00:00:48,253 --> 00:00:49,886
crossing over the rainbow bridge.
20
00:00:50,171 --> 00:00:53,156
I wasn't here. What happened?
Dog went gay?
21
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,799
- He died.
- Aw.
22
00:00:56,801 --> 00:01:00,265
Yes "aw," total "aw," justified "aw."
23
00:01:00,638 --> 00:01:02,939
Thankfully, Samson died
peacefully in his sleep
24
00:01:02,941 --> 00:01:04,891
with a big ol' pork chop in his belly.
25
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,210
God knows that's how I want to go.
26
00:01:07,645 --> 00:01:10,062
The problem is, that
was three weeks ago,
27
00:01:10,087 --> 00:01:11,920
and Adam is still devastated.
28
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:16,539
I am relatively new to this...
What's it called, empathy?
29
00:01:17,914 --> 00:01:20,573
But shouldn't he be through
the five stages of grief by now?
30
00:01:20,575 --> 00:01:23,159
He's not shaving or showering;
he's wearing the same sweatshirt
31
00:01:23,161 --> 00:01:24,494
because it smells like his dog,
32
00:01:24,496 --> 00:01:26,726
which means my fiancé
smells like a dog.
33
00:01:26,751 --> 00:01:30,610
I mean, I want to continue
supporting him, but... (sighs)
34
00:01:30,635 --> 00:01:33,132
So I will say to you
what I can't say to him.
35
00:01:33,157 --> 00:01:35,741
All dogs go to heaven. Move on!
36
00:01:36,101 --> 00:01:37,804
Thanks.
37
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:43,125
- Hi, Christy, alcoholic.
- OTHERS: Hi, Christy.
38
00:01:43,681 --> 00:01:46,912
So, I've been having some
trouble with my boyfriend.
39
00:01:46,937 --> 00:01:49,375
Oh, no. They're my Kate and William.
40
00:01:49,938 --> 00:01:52,321
His birthday weekend didn't go well,
41
00:01:52,323 --> 00:01:54,757
so I've been overthinking everything.
42
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:57,527
He texted me "How ya doin'?"
43
00:01:58,054 --> 00:02:00,534
and I panicked and sent
him an emoji of a cow.
44
00:02:00,559 --> 00:02:02,442
I have no idea what it meant.
45
00:02:03,535 --> 00:02:05,535
Tonight, he wants to Skype,
46
00:02:05,537 --> 00:02:09,367
and I don't know whether it's
a sexy Skype or a breakup Skype.
47
00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:11,992
I mean, what do I wear?
48
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:16,101
I don't want to be sitting there
in my nipple-less bra when...
49
00:02:17,215 --> 00:02:18,546
he dumps me.
50
00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:20,609
Oh, honey.
51
00:02:21,155 --> 00:02:23,039
(sobbing): Oh, God!
52
00:02:28,726 --> 00:02:30,500
This is empathy, right?
53
00:02:37,385 --> 00:02:41,906
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
54
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:50,052
Hey, honey.
55
00:02:51,584 --> 00:02:52,834
Excuse me.
56
00:02:52,859 --> 00:02:54,859
Are you my fiance’s son?
57
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:57,132
Because I'm having
some forbidden feelings.
58
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,703
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I showered and shaved.
59
00:02:59,742 --> 00:03:01,435
Clean hair, clean
teeth, clean underwear.
60
00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:02,720
(sighs)
61
00:03:02,722 --> 00:03:04,522
Wait, what's that I smell?
62
00:03:04,524 --> 00:03:07,671
(sniffs) Mmm. It's nothing!
63
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:13,007
I think I'm ready to wash the
dog bowls and put them away.
64
00:03:13,328 --> 00:03:16,576
Progress. Awesome, I love it.
Why don't you let me do it.
65
00:03:16,601 --> 00:03:18,619
You go watch some TV and just relax.
66
00:03:18,621 --> 00:03:19,904
Thanks, babe.
67
00:03:21,123 --> 00:03:23,765
Hey, I was thinking maybe later
we could go out for dinner.
68
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:24,923
We could go to that place
69
00:03:24,948 --> 00:03:26,476
where they flip the
shrimp in your mouth.
70
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:28,084
Yeah, I like that place.
71
00:03:28,202 --> 00:03:30,286
Remember when I caught
one in my cleavage?
72
00:03:30,413 --> 00:03:32,703
Ah, everybody enjoyed that.
73
00:03:37,152 --> 00:03:39,109
(clanking)
74
00:03:41,672 --> 00:03:43,507
This one's got to soak.
75
00:03:44,648 --> 00:03:46,342
MAN (over TV): He's more than a dog.
76
00:03:46,344 --> 00:03:49,732
He's your best friend.
(dog barks)
77
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,492
What are you watching?
What are you watching?
78
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:54,911
Ah, it's just a stupid commercial.
79
00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:57,052
("Best Friend" by Harry
Nilsson playing over TV)
80
00:03:57,054 --> 00:03:59,828
(sighs) They're best friends.
They grew up together.
81
00:04:00,252 --> 00:04:03,117
(voice breaks): But now he's
too old to jump in the truck.
82
00:04:05,489 --> 00:04:07,655
(sighs)
83
00:04:09,288 --> 00:04:10,621
Hey.
84
00:04:10,911 --> 00:04:12,494
CHRISTY: Hey.
85
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,352
Well, I'm not spending
the night at Adam's.
86
00:04:14,377 --> 00:04:16,546
Weepy Sue is back with a vengeance.
87
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:21,076
I swear I've had all the sadness
I can take for a lifetime.
88
00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:23,289
(crying softly)
89
00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,710
(crying softly)
90
00:04:46,521 --> 00:04:47,922
(wails): Oh!
91
00:04:49,079 --> 00:04:50,415
(sighs)
92
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,383
Oh, no. What happened?
93
00:04:54,813 --> 00:04:59,024
It wasn't sexy Skype.
It was breakup Skype.
94
00:04:59,397 --> 00:05:01,364
Oh, honey.
95
00:05:01,389 --> 00:05:03,063
I'm sorry.
96
00:05:03,322 --> 00:05:05,322
At least you dressed appropriately.
97
00:05:06,911 --> 00:05:08,961
I was ready for both.
98
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,257
- Oh, that's pretty.
- Thanks. It's new.
99
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:18,805
(sighs) What did Patrick say?
100
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:21,330
He asked me to go live
with him. (sniffles)
101
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,125
He said he would take care of me,
102
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:25,400
that I wouldn't have to work so much.
103
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,625
That way, we could
spend more time together.
104
00:05:27,650 --> 00:05:30,201
But I said no, so he broke up with me.
105
00:05:30,377 --> 00:05:31,805
Okay.
106
00:05:31,986 --> 00:05:34,040
Why the hell would you say no?
107
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,903
I can't move three hours away.
108
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,840
- I have a life here.
- Ish.
109
00:05:41,748 --> 00:05:45,191
Look, it may not be a great
life, but it is a life.
110
00:05:45,614 --> 00:05:48,732
I'm not ready to just give all that up.
111
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:52,457
Well, I support you no
matter what, sweetie.
112
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:54,761
Thanks, Mom.
113
00:05:54,786 --> 00:05:56,419
How 'bout I make you some tea,
114
00:05:56,444 --> 00:05:59,278
and you go watch some TV
and-and get your mind off it.
115
00:05:59,303 --> 00:06:00,801
I'd like that.
116
00:06:05,027 --> 00:06:06,996
(sighs) What are you doing to me?
117
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,261
WOMAN (over TV): We now
return to Love Actually.
118
00:06:14,377 --> 00:06:15,980
Nope.
119
00:06:19,318 --> 00:06:21,691
- So how's Adam doing?
- Not great.
120
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:24,574
Last night, I made him hot
dogs and he burst into tears.
121
00:06:24,599 --> 00:06:27,183
I mean, that is a
whisper-thin connection.
122
00:06:27,505 --> 00:06:29,207
Bonnie, everybody takes
a different amount of time
123
00:06:29,232 --> 00:06:30,615
to process grief.
124
00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:32,906
I know the guy's
hurting, and I love him,
125
00:06:32,931 --> 00:06:35,660
but sweet mother of pearl, this is hard.
126
00:06:35,994 --> 00:06:38,581
I give him tissues, I
hold him, I make him soup.
127
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:41,027
And what is the deal
with sad people and soup?
128
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,502
He can't get enough soup.
129
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,527
It's too depressing when animals die.
130
00:06:44,552 --> 00:06:46,019
It's why I couldn't become a vet.
131
00:06:46,484 --> 00:06:49,452
And yet you became an
emergency room nurse.
132
00:06:49,735 --> 00:06:51,199
What's your point?
133
00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:55,470
I think it's sexy when a man's
in touch with his emotions.
134
00:06:55,651 --> 00:06:59,236
Victor cried when my
calico Janis Joplin died.
135
00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:02,119
We made love with the
lights on that night.
136
00:07:06,377 --> 00:07:09,024
Oh, look! Christy's here.
137
00:07:09,049 --> 00:07:10,205
Hey!
138
00:07:10,437 --> 00:07:11,937
Hey, guys.
139
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,014
I'm so sorry, Christy.
140
00:07:14,039 --> 00:07:16,119
I really thought you and
Patrick were gonna make it.
141
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,860
Thanks, Wendy.
142
00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:20,627
At least it was a healthy
end to a healthy relationship.
143
00:07:24,345 --> 00:07:26,908
(voice breaks): Healthiest
relationship I've ever had.
144
00:07:27,258 --> 00:07:29,884
Did he actually use the
words "I'll take care of you"?
145
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:31,869
- He did.
- What's wrong with you?!
146
00:07:31,894 --> 00:07:33,260
I don't know!
147
00:07:34,799 --> 00:07:36,632
You know what, Christy,
I have got just the thing
148
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,023
to take your mind off your troubles.
149
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:42,361
Jill, again, I don't
want to steam my vagina.
150
00:07:43,073 --> 00:07:45,392
Okay, you didn't give that a chance.
151
00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:49,650
But what I'm thinking
is we go to San Francisco
152
00:07:49,675 --> 00:07:52,426
and shop until that hole in
your heart is full with Gucci.
153
00:07:52,451 --> 00:07:53,713
That is so kind, but...
154
00:07:53,738 --> 00:07:55,575
Christy, you have
always been there for me.
155
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,816
Let me do this for you.
156
00:07:57,638 --> 00:07:58,986
Well...
157
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,547
I have always wanted to know
158
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:04,048
what it feels like to just
throw money at a problem.
159
00:08:04,495 --> 00:08:08,377
Trust me, it'll get you all
tingly like a steamed vagina.
160
00:08:09,361 --> 00:08:12,369
(singsongy): Ooh, we're going shopping!
161
00:08:12,394 --> 00:08:14,420
No, just Christy.
162
00:08:14,445 --> 00:08:15,978
She's the one who's upset.
163
00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:20,142
I don't know if you've heard,
but my fiance’s dog just died.
164
00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:24,127
(sportscast playing quietly over TV)
165
00:08:25,969 --> 00:08:29,971
Aw, there you are,
right where I left you.
166
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,853
Hey.
167
00:08:32,186 --> 00:08:34,634
I've heard one way to
raise a man's spirits
168
00:08:34,659 --> 00:08:37,408
is to bring a third party
into the relationship.
169
00:08:37,777 --> 00:08:41,134
I'm not in the mood for... Is
it Louise from Trader Joe's?
170
00:08:43,518 --> 00:08:44,963
Close.
171
00:08:44,988 --> 00:08:47,166
(singsongy): It's a puppy!
172
00:08:50,494 --> 00:08:53,244
And he's from the Third Street Shelter.
173
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,744
Bonnie, what are you doing?
174
00:08:54,769 --> 00:08:57,296
I'm trying to hand you an adorable puppy
175
00:08:57,321 --> 00:08:59,469
that will make you
happy. You're welcome.
176
00:08:59,494 --> 00:09:01,548
I-I'm not, I'm not gonna take him.
177
00:09:01,573 --> 00:09:03,073
But, honey, he's got puppy breath
178
00:09:03,098 --> 00:09:04,939
and he wants you to be his new daddy.
179
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,416
Look, I appreciate what
you're trying to do,
180
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,267
but I-I'm not ready for another dog.
181
00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:13,004
Why not? You've got those clean bowls.
182
00:09:13,029 --> 00:09:14,181
You're halfway there.
183
00:09:14,206 --> 00:09:16,182
I'm still grieving over Samson.
184
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,877
- It's only been a couple of weeks.
- 23 days.
185
00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:20,986
Bonnie, listen to me.
186
00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:25,478
I know to you I only lost a
dog, but to me, I lost a friend
187
00:09:25,503 --> 00:09:28,087
that got me through the
roughest time in my life.
188
00:09:28,153 --> 00:09:30,069
Well, you're gonna
have more rough times.
189
00:09:30,094 --> 00:09:32,517
I mean, you are marrying me.
190
00:09:33,479 --> 00:09:36,062
And maybe this little fella can help.
191
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:38,477
I mean, I got stuck
behind a garbage truck
192
00:09:38,479 --> 00:09:40,195
on my way over here, narrow street,
193
00:09:40,197 --> 00:09:42,011
no way to get around
him, and I glance over,
194
00:09:42,036 --> 00:09:45,683
and this guy is giving me
a very encouraging look.
195
00:09:50,918 --> 00:09:52,551
Made a difference.
196
00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:54,753
Just flipped a switch right in here.
197
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,839
Take the dog and-and just go.
198
00:10:00,094 --> 00:10:01,594
Are you serious?
199
00:10:01,863 --> 00:10:03,425
Yeah.
200
00:10:04,153 --> 00:10:05,403
Fine.
201
00:10:14,116 --> 00:10:16,162
I asked you to do one thing.
202
00:10:23,544 --> 00:10:25,466
This'll make you forget about Patrick.
203
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,309
This'll make you forget you
didn't get into law school.
204
00:10:28,424 --> 00:10:30,552
This'll make you forget
you live with your mom.
205
00:10:30,908 --> 00:10:32,567
Okay, if we're gonna
list all my problems,
206
00:10:32,592 --> 00:10:34,247
we're gonna run out of dresses.
207
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,778
Uh, these are too expensive.
208
00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:41,356
I got to tell you, Jill,
I really appreciate this,
209
00:10:41,381 --> 00:10:44,132
but I'm just so much more
comfortable at an outlet mall.
210
00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:45,903
Outlet mall?
211
00:10:46,061 --> 00:10:48,825
Can't heal a sad
person with sad clothes.
212
00:10:50,038 --> 00:10:51,838
Nothing's gonna heal me.
213
00:10:52,856 --> 00:10:54,731
Why don't you try talking about it?
214
00:10:54,836 --> 00:10:57,450
You know, I took an
online class in listening.
215
00:10:57,729 --> 00:11:00,196
Forgetting myself... and go.
216
00:11:00,581 --> 00:11:02,948
Jill, I really don't
want to talk about this.
217
00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:04,918
Especially with you not blinking.
218
00:11:04,943 --> 00:11:06,109
It's freaking me out.
219
00:11:06,264 --> 00:11:08,270
Come on, give me one chance.
220
00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:10,651
Forgetting myself... and go.
221
00:11:10,676 --> 00:11:12,509
I really don't want to do this.
222
00:11:12,644 --> 00:11:14,286
Trust me, it'll make you feel better.
223
00:11:14,311 --> 00:11:15,644
Forgetting myself and go!
224
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,684
Fine.
225
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,770
I can't help thinking I
made a mistake with Patrick.
226
00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:23,378
Oh, hell no!
227
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:25,841
- So you think I did the right thing?
- No, shh!
228
00:11:25,866 --> 00:11:27,866
My ex-husband's new
wife just walked in.
229
00:11:28,178 --> 00:11:29,504
I didn't get a good look.
230
00:11:29,529 --> 00:11:31,622
Tell me if she lost the baby weight.
231
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:37,208
Wow, is she a professional dancer?
232
00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:40,555
No, she's a professional
husband stealer.
233
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:44,225
Slash highly-regarded anesthesiologist.
234
00:11:46,688 --> 00:11:47,930
CHRISTY: What are we doing?
235
00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:49,915
- I can't let her see me.
- Why?
236
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:51,606
'Cause she'll think I'm stalking her.
237
00:11:51,862 --> 00:11:53,282
Why would she think that?
238
00:11:53,307 --> 00:11:55,860
'Cause I had a dark six
weeks where I totally was.
239
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:01,524
Mmm. Isn't he cute?
240
00:12:01,675 --> 00:12:04,376
- Yeah.
- You can name him anything you want.
241
00:12:04,697 --> 00:12:07,211
Have you named one after
Steve Miller yet? Look at him.
242
00:12:07,481 --> 00:12:11,321
He's a joker, he's a smoker,
he's a midnight toker.
243
00:12:11,346 --> 00:12:12,782
He is adorable,
244
00:12:12,807 --> 00:12:15,618
but I'm pretty well
established as a cat person.
245
00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:16,618
Exactly.
246
00:12:16,714 --> 00:12:18,899
Eight cats and you're
the crazy cat lady.
247
00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:21,594
Eight cats and one dog,
you just love animals.
248
00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:25,446
Who rescued who, am I right?
249
00:12:26,352 --> 00:12:28,860
Did you ask Wendy? She seems lonely.
250
00:12:28,885 --> 00:12:30,017
Yeah, already tried her.
251
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,375
She lives with four other nurses.
252
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,099
It's like a sitcom over there.
253
00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:38,040
(sighs) I wish Adam
would just take the dog.
254
00:12:38,512 --> 00:12:40,012
Let me ask you something.
255
00:12:40,014 --> 00:12:41,844
Did you get this dog
to make him feel better
256
00:12:41,869 --> 00:12:44,774
- or make you feel better?
- Aren't those the same thing?
257
00:12:45,352 --> 00:12:47,552
Bonnie, you're gonna have to
learn to weather these storms
258
00:12:47,554 --> 00:12:49,415
if you want to be
together for the long haul.
259
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,555
But he's the rock.
260
00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:54,188
- Well, why can't you be the rock?
- Because I'm the river.
261
00:12:55,605 --> 00:12:57,313
The roaring river.
262
00:12:57,338 --> 00:12:59,766
I cut through the rock
and make the Grand Canyon,
263
00:12:59,791 --> 00:13:03,024
and people come from
miles around to behold me.
264
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:07,102
- Wow.
- I knew you wouldn't get it.
265
00:13:07,784 --> 00:13:09,985
Listen, in any relationship,
266
00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:12,243
emotional support has
to be a two-way street.
267
00:13:12,268 --> 00:13:16,797
I'm not sure I buy that, but
someone's tail is wagging.
268
00:13:18,555 --> 00:13:22,961
(high-pitched): "Oh, teach
me how to love, Marjorie."
269
00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:25,807
Nothing?
270
00:13:25,809 --> 00:13:27,196
(scoffs)
271
00:13:27,221 --> 00:13:30,360
You don't want to live with
her. She's the crazy cat lady.
272
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,677
Look at her, shopping for scarves
273
00:13:35,702 --> 00:13:37,619
like she's queen of the world.
274
00:13:38,376 --> 00:13:40,891
Oh, here comes the hat show.
275
00:13:42,409 --> 00:13:46,149
Hey, maybe she's shopping
'cause she's miserable, like me.
276
00:13:46,174 --> 00:13:49,125
Oh, that'd be great. Go find out.
277
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:52,084
What? I don't even know her.
278
00:13:52,086 --> 00:13:54,969
Look, you do this for me,
and I'll take you to that...
279
00:13:55,065 --> 00:13:56,848
(groans): Old Navy.
280
00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:01,750
Wait here.
281
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:10,291
That's a lovely hat.
282
00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:12,313
You really think I can
pull off this color?
283
00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:14,703
Mm, pretty sure you
could pull off anything.
284
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,011
Thank you.
285
00:14:26,218 --> 00:14:28,063
Ugh.
286
00:14:28,213 --> 00:14:30,380
Don't need another one of these.
287
00:14:38,332 --> 00:14:40,313
Hi. Me again.
288
00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:44,354
Ugh.
289
00:14:44,743 --> 00:14:48,071
So, uh, you shopping
for a special occasion?
290
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,096
Anniversary dinner. Three years.
291
00:14:50,344 --> 00:14:51,501
Oh.
292
00:14:51,526 --> 00:14:55,061
Ah, I remember my third anniversary.
293
00:14:55,086 --> 00:14:57,636
That's when you realize what
you're really married to.
294
00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,204
Not for us.
295
00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:01,829
My friends get sick of hearing
this, but we are so happy.
296
00:15:01,854 --> 00:15:03,520
It's like we just started dating.
297
00:15:03,545 --> 00:15:05,696
Oh, that's sweet.
298
00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:09,985
But, uh, having a baby,
that's like R.I.P. sex life.
299
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,260
Oh, no, we are fine in that department.
300
00:15:12,449 --> 00:15:14,157
Your husband sounds perfect.
301
00:15:14,182 --> 00:15:16,318
Oh, no, he is not perfect.
302
00:15:16,343 --> 00:15:18,310
Really? In what way?
303
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,633
He sends me too many flowers.
304
00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:22,662
Of course he does.
305
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:26,099
- Anyway, it was nice meeting you.
- You, too.
306
00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:27,707
Bye, Penelope.
307
00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:30,529
Uh, I didn't tell you
my daughter's name.
308
00:15:31,709 --> 00:15:33,552
Yes, you did.
309
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,604
No, I didn't.
310
00:15:35,606 --> 00:15:37,341
You're tired.
311
00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:39,975
You're probably right.
312
00:15:39,977 --> 00:15:41,810
(chuckles): Bye. Bye.
313
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:48,051
(sobbing)
314
00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:50,099
(sniffling)
315
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,029
Do you think maybe I should drive?
316
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,646
Oh, for God's sakes,
Christy, I can drive and cry.
317
00:15:56,671 --> 00:15:58,513
I do it all the time!
318
00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:02,304
Can we at least keep a foot
between us and that truck?
319
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:05,326
It's got all those
symbols for explodey stuff.
320
00:16:06,243 --> 00:16:07,776
(clears throat)
321
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,248
I'm sorry I ruined our shopping vacay.
322
00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:12,952
Let's talk about you and Patrick.
323
00:16:12,977 --> 00:16:14,843
No, I'm fine.
324
00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:18,096
I mean it, Christy. Get my mind off me.
325
00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:19,648
Jill, I'd rather...
326
00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:23,768
Talk about Patrick!
Forgetting myself and go!
327
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:26,451
Okay. Uh...
328
00:16:26,726 --> 00:16:29,857
I guess I'm worried I'm
just afraid to be happy.
329
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:32,967
I mean, is it so crazy
to pick up my life
330
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,561
and see where it goes in Santa Cruz?
331
00:16:34,596 --> 00:16:38,576
They have law schools
there. They have meetings.
332
00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:42,454
When I met James, I
picked up my whole life
333
00:16:42,456 --> 00:16:44,928
and moved from Charleston to
California just to be with him.
334
00:16:45,317 --> 00:16:46,427
Really?
335
00:16:46,452 --> 00:16:48,943
You know what kind of
culture shock that is?
336
00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:52,818
I had to lose my accent
just to fit in with y'all.
337
00:16:55,962 --> 00:16:57,845
And it was worth it.
338
00:16:58,568 --> 00:17:01,690
And I'm not even willing to
move three hours from here
339
00:17:01,692 --> 00:17:03,420
to a lovely seaside community.
340
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:05,850
Where my mother doesn't live.
341
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:07,951
What is wrong with me?
342
00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:10,873
I loved James so much, I
would've moved to the moon
343
00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:12,431
if he asked me to.
344
00:17:13,896 --> 00:17:15,490
And I wouldn't.
345
00:17:17,291 --> 00:17:19,162
Maybe I don't love Patrick.
346
00:17:21,389 --> 00:17:23,995
Sweetie, I think if you
have to ask the question,
347
00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:25,170
then you don't.
348
00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,550
But I really feel like I should.
349
00:17:28,936 --> 00:17:32,420
Just because he's a thousand
times better than anybody else
350
00:17:32,422 --> 00:17:34,670
you've ever dated
doesn't mean he's the one.
351
00:17:35,335 --> 00:17:37,208
Huh.
352
00:17:38,178 --> 00:17:41,022
I know that running into your
ex's wife ripped your guts out,
353
00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:43,068
but, boy, did it help me.
354
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,693
You're welcome.
355
00:17:48,141 --> 00:17:49,473
(sniffles)
356
00:17:49,498 --> 00:17:53,068
Oh! And here come your outlet stores.
357
00:17:53,847 --> 00:17:56,670
Mm, there's even a Der Wienerschnitzel.
358
00:17:57,007 --> 00:17:59,174
Yay! Der Wienerschnitzel!
359
00:18:02,586 --> 00:18:04,540
Now, this show has some nudity,
360
00:18:04,565 --> 00:18:06,256
but nothing you didn't already see
361
00:18:06,281 --> 00:18:08,529
when you barged in
on me taking a shower.
362
00:18:08,829 --> 00:18:10,161
(knock on door)
363
00:18:10,186 --> 00:18:12,873
Oh. You stay here, I'll get the door.
364
00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:18,311
Hey, don't change the channel.
365
00:18:21,972 --> 00:18:23,438
Oh.
366
00:18:23,787 --> 00:18:25,732
- Hey.
- Hey.
367
00:18:25,757 --> 00:18:27,040
What brings you by?
368
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,894
Well, what always brings
me by after we fight:
369
00:18:29,896 --> 00:18:31,363
I'm caving.
370
00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:34,866
Well, let me put the puppy in his crate,
371
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:36,350
so you don't have to look at him.
372
00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:38,092
Bonnie, it's okay.
373
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:44,061
I know I haven't been easy
to be around, and I'm sorry.
374
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,279
I'm sorry, too.
375
00:18:46,304 --> 00:18:49,472
I shouldn't have tried to tell
you how you're supposed to feel
376
00:18:49,497 --> 00:18:51,547
or when you should be done feeling it.
377
00:18:52,387 --> 00:18:54,848
If you need to be the raging
river, I can be the rock.
378
00:18:55,489 --> 00:18:57,406
Lucky for you, I only go full river
379
00:18:57,431 --> 00:18:59,298
about once every ten years.
380
00:18:59,866 --> 00:19:01,750
Last time was when Derek Jeter retired
381
00:19:01,775 --> 00:19:04,025
and they had that
commercial where he was
382
00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:06,332
walking through the streets of New York.
383
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,801
(voice breaks): The last hero.
384
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,683
I think he likes you.
385
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,958
(sighs): Oh.
386
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,699
What's his name?
387
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,224
Well, up until this point,
his name has been "No,"
388
00:19:21,249 --> 00:19:23,574
sometimes "Damn it," and
occasionally "Not on the rug."
389
00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:26,610
Do you like any of those names?
390
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:29,973
Hmm? I didn't think so.
391
00:19:29,998 --> 00:19:32,498
How about... Gus?
392
00:19:32,907 --> 00:19:35,074
Does this mean you're keeping him?
393
00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:37,874
I think it means I'm
stuck with both of you.
394
00:19:41,155 --> 00:19:43,020
How 'bout we call him Sebastian?
395
00:19:43,045 --> 00:19:44,684
I already named him Gus.
396
00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:46,375
Butterscotch? Gus.
397
00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:48,326
Bon Jovi?
398
00:19:49,201 --> 00:19:51,740
- Gus.
- We'll talk about it later.
399
00:19:52,287 --> 00:19:54,014
Oh!
400
00:19:54,039 --> 00:19:56,475
Who's the best boy?
401
00:19:56,637 --> 00:19:58,467
You're the best boy.
402
00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:02,100
Did you like your puppy chow?
Was it too dry?
403
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,791
Was it too wet?
404
00:20:04,228 --> 00:20:06,420
Or was it just right?
405
00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:09,092
(baby talking)
406
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:13,212
Oh, I could snuggle with you all
day, but it's time for walkies.
407
00:20:13,237 --> 00:20:14,570
Now, it's wet outside,
408
00:20:14,572 --> 00:20:17,318
so Mommy's gonna put on your raincoat.
409
00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:21,460
I know you don't like it,
but it's what's good for you.
410
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:24,631
And that's my job, to take care of you.
411
00:20:25,235 --> 00:20:27,912
Oh! (baby talking)
412
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:31,318
I just love you so much.
413
00:20:32,423 --> 00:20:34,673
So you had it in you all along!
414
00:20:38,318 --> 00:20:41,912
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
30369
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