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1
00:00:02,326 --> 00:00:03,859
(Johnny) Jesus.
2
00:00:03,894 --> 00:00:05,295
Jesus was my second choice.
3
00:00:05,329 --> 00:00:07,063
Jesus would have appreciated it.
4
00:00:07,097 --> 00:00:09,597
I was trying to show some
commitment to you, Dad, to us.
5
00:00:09,632 --> 00:00:11,400
I know, but what if... What
if you change your mind?
6
00:00:11,434 --> 00:00:12,434
- What if things don't work out?
- Change my mind?
7
00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:13,735
You're my father forever.
8
00:00:13,769 --> 00:00:14,970
I know, but you could. What if, you know...
9
00:00:15,004 --> 00:00:16,305
I thought it would make you happy.
10
00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:18,206
I thought it would make you smile or cry
11
00:00:18,241 --> 00:00:20,642
or just not make the face
that you're making right now.
12
00:00:20,676 --> 00:00:22,277
It's just, it must have hurt like a bitch.
13
00:00:22,312 --> 00:00:23,845
Or said that, which is so touching.
14
00:00:23,879 --> 00:00:25,079
I think we're overreacting
here just a little bit.
15
00:00:25,113 --> 00:00:26,680
[knock on door]
16
00:00:26,714 --> 00:00:27,949
All right, I... you know
what, I was shocked, honey.
17
00:00:27,983 --> 00:00:29,183
That's all, and you know what?
18
00:00:29,217 --> 00:00:30,985
I like it. I think... you know what?
19
00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:32,486
I love it. I think it's dope.
20
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,121
I think it's cool.
21
00:00:34,156 --> 00:00:35,156
Cat.
22
00:00:35,190 --> 00:00:36,991
Hey, Johnny Not A Rock Star.
23
00:00:37,025 --> 00:00:38,125
Mom?
24
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,427
[hard rock music]
25
00:00:39,461 --> 00:00:42,028
♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪
26
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:44,097
♪ All right ♪
27
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,966
♪ All right ♪
28
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,301
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪
29
00:00:48,336 --> 00:00:49,635
♪ Anonymous ♪
30
00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:51,504
♪ No, no ♪
31
00:00:51,538 --> 00:00:53,373
♪ No, no ♪
32
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:54,907
♪ No, no ♪
33
00:00:54,942 --> 00:00:59,578
♪ ♪
34
00:00:59,612 --> 00:01:01,646
(Cat) Oh, Boo Boo!
35
00:01:01,681 --> 00:01:03,015
(Gigi) No, no, no, don't hug me.
36
00:01:03,049 --> 00:01:04,984
Don't hug me, please!
37
00:01:05,018 --> 00:01:06,585
Okay, that's fine.
38
00:01:06,619 --> 00:01:07,953
Oh, whoa!
39
00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:09,154
Ava, Jesus Christ.
40
00:01:09,189 --> 00:01:10,755
You look hot as shit.
41
00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:13,292
- Get over here, huh?
- What's up, Cat? Oh.
42
00:01:13,326 --> 00:01:14,994
Huh? Look at us.
43
00:01:15,028 --> 00:01:16,527
- Yeah.
- All back together.
44
00:01:16,561 --> 00:01:18,929
- One big happy family.
- What are you doing here?
45
00:01:19,473 --> 00:01:23,810
What... I come to see my little
girl in the big city, huh?
46
00:01:23,845 --> 00:01:26,079
Holy shit, you got a tattoo there.
47
00:01:26,113 --> 00:01:27,614
- Yes, she did.
- Oh, that's for him.
48
00:01:27,649 --> 00:01:29,049
That's nice. Where's mine?
49
00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:31,384
I should have gotten one
for you; he hates his.
50
00:01:31,419 --> 00:01:33,619
Oh, why? Do you hate the color?
51
00:01:33,654 --> 00:01:36,088
He doesn't like commitment.
52
00:01:36,122 --> 00:01:38,190
Do you not have Gigi's name on you?
53
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,626
No, no, actually, he doesn't.
54
00:01:40,661 --> 00:01:43,529
- Huh, 'cause I got this...
- Oh, cool.
55
00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:45,765
The day after I brought her home,
56
00:01:45,799 --> 00:01:47,399
but you have some Ava ink on you.
57
00:01:47,434 --> 00:01:49,201
No, no, he doesn't have that, either.
58
00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:50,802
I have this,
59
00:01:50,836 --> 00:01:54,706
but he won't get an Ava tat.
60
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:58,309
Holy shit, your ass is
still totally perfect.
61
00:01:58,343 --> 00:02:00,912
She has that and you won't get one?
62
00:02:00,947 --> 00:02:02,614
Nut up, all right. You
got to get some Ava ink.
63
00:02:02,648 --> 00:02:04,182
You got to get some Gigi ink,
64
00:02:04,216 --> 00:02:06,184
and you've got to stop being such a fairy.
65
00:02:06,218 --> 00:02:07,618
I'm not being a fairy, okay.
66
00:02:07,652 --> 00:02:08,919
I'm being original.
67
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,621
That's what I'm doing, all right.
68
00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:11,622
I mean, every other douchebag
you see on the street
69
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:12,623
now has a tattoo.
70
00:02:12,657 --> 00:02:13,958
Not you, honey.
71
00:02:13,992 --> 00:02:14,925
I'm talking about... Back in the day
72
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,277
only bikers and rock stars
73
00:02:16,278 --> 00:02:18,095
and marines and firefighters had 'toos.
74
00:02:18,129 --> 00:02:20,130
Like, really cool ones,
like, bodacious babes
75
00:02:20,164 --> 00:02:22,733
and, like, flaming dice and, you know,
76
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,801
heroic dead guy names,
and now what do you...
77
00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:27,311
Every skinny white dipshit
you see out there
78
00:02:27,312 --> 00:02:30,200
has got a razor wire on
his pink freckled arm,
79
00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:31,741
and the black guys getting tattoos?
80
00:02:31,775 --> 00:02:33,425
It doesn't even make any sense.
It's black on black.
81
00:02:33,426 --> 00:02:34,324
You can't even read it.
82
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:36,012
I've been staring at LeBron
James's right shoulder
83
00:02:36,046 --> 00:02:37,220
for the last ten years.
84
00:02:37,221 --> 00:02:38,860
I still can't tell what
the fuck is on there.
85
00:02:38,861 --> 00:02:41,017
Is it a lion's head or
the Statue of Liberty?
86
00:02:41,051 --> 00:02:42,784
I don't know, but I'll tell you something.
87
00:02:42,819 --> 00:02:44,119
That's why I'm not getting a tattoo.
88
00:02:44,153 --> 00:02:45,654
I'm being original, okay.
89
00:02:45,688 --> 00:02:47,122
I'm... I'm not afraid.
90
00:02:47,156 --> 00:02:48,757
I'm a... I'm a rebel.
91
00:02:48,791 --> 00:02:51,627
I'm a lone rebel yell.
92
00:02:54,296 --> 00:02:56,031
Plus he's afraid of needles.
93
00:02:56,065 --> 00:02:57,265
- Ah.
- I'm allergic.
94
00:02:57,299 --> 00:02:58,366
It's completely different.
95
00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,464
You know I get those rashes.
96
00:02:59,465 --> 00:03:02,737
You're allergic to balls! [laughs]
97
00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:10,745
Oh, is it not cool to smoke in here?
98
00:03:10,779 --> 00:03:11,679
What is that?
99
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,080
What's what?
100
00:03:13,115 --> 00:03:15,016
The lightning bolt on your hip, the tattoo.
101
00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:18,284
This? It's just something
I got back in the day.
102
00:03:18,318 --> 00:03:20,253
Well, I've never seen it before in my life.
103
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,521
Yeah, well, because I dress
104
00:03:21,555 --> 00:03:23,456
more conservatively back in Ohio.
105
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:26,760
I guess the old stomping grounds
brings out the old whore in me.
106
00:03:26,794 --> 00:03:29,162
But I know that symbol.
That's Flash's symbol.
107
00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:30,630
It's on one of his favorite acoustics
108
00:03:30,665 --> 00:03:32,665
from back in his Heathens days.
109
00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:34,633
Okay.
110
00:03:34,668 --> 00:03:37,335
It's not like it's a big deal,
111
00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:42,474
but right before we were set to
go on the Heathens world tour,
112
00:03:42,508 --> 00:03:44,576
the one that never happened
because your father broke up
113
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:46,545
Flash's marriage,
114
00:03:46,579 --> 00:03:49,214
Flash and I had a little thing going on...
115
00:03:49,248 --> 00:03:50,514
Really?
116
00:03:50,549 --> 00:03:53,051
(Cat) And so I decided to get a tat.
117
00:03:53,085 --> 00:03:57,922
I was gonna reveal it to
him and seal the deal,
118
00:03:57,956 --> 00:03:59,757
and then the band broke up,
119
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:02,259
and then I found out I was
pregnant with your kid,
120
00:04:02,294 --> 00:04:07,030
and I decided to bail and
go have my beautiful baby.
121
00:04:07,065 --> 00:04:11,134
Some things are meant to
be and others not so much.
122
00:04:13,171 --> 00:04:16,073
Can I speak to you in
my bedroom now, please?
123
00:04:16,107 --> 00:04:17,974
Oh, mother-daughter time.
124
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:19,509
- Funsies!
- Yeah.
125
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,147
Holy shh...
126
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,248
I'm not doing anything.
127
00:04:26,282 --> 00:04:28,684
Honey, I'm...
128
00:04:28,719 --> 00:04:31,553
just here.
129
00:04:31,588 --> 00:04:33,022
When did you get the Flash tattoo?
130
00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:34,656
- 1992.
- That's bullshit, Mom.
131
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,058
Watch your goddamn language with me.
132
00:04:36,093 --> 00:04:37,326
Why have I never seen it until today?
133
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,928
'Cause these are low-cut jeans.
134
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:40,329
They're Rag & Bone. They're
not my usual thing.
135
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,363
Oh, coo coo ca choo, Mrs. Robinson.
136
00:04:42,397 --> 00:04:43,531
What's that now?
137
00:04:43,565 --> 00:04:44,966
You're trying to muff cuff me.
138
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,634
[laughs] What?
139
00:04:46,668 --> 00:04:48,302
It's a female version of
cock block, you idiot.
140
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:50,371
Muff cuff;. It's a twat swat.
141
00:04:50,405 --> 00:04:51,773
You're trying to steal my boyfriend.
142
00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:54,475
Oh, baby, have you slept with him yet?
143
00:04:54,509 --> 00:04:55,944
No, but I'm gonna...
144
00:04:55,978 --> 00:04:57,245
Then he's not your boyfriend.
145
00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:58,645
How can I be Mrs. Twatinson
146
00:04:58,679 --> 00:05:00,714
if nothing is even going
on between you two?
147
00:05:00,749 --> 00:05:02,182
'Cause I know you.
148
00:05:02,217 --> 00:05:03,984
You haven't dressed like this in years.
149
00:05:04,018 --> 00:05:06,854
You haven't had any interest
in New York or me or my music
150
00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:09,356
until you saw how hot Flash
looked on my Twitter feed,
151
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,591
so you thought you could ride
into town in your pussy pony
152
00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:13,660
and try to put some vagina
blinders on my boyfriend.
153
00:05:13,694 --> 00:05:15,394
Okay, here's what.
154
00:05:15,428 --> 00:05:17,563
I'm not here to pull a bitch switch.
155
00:05:17,597 --> 00:05:20,933
I'm here to stop you from
doing something stupid.
156
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:23,102
Sex within the band never works.
157
00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:24,603
Your father's a perfect example.
158
00:05:24,638 --> 00:05:28,107
His bullshit brought The Heathens down.
159
00:05:28,142 --> 00:05:30,643
I'm not in that band anymore.
160
00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:31,810
You are.
161
00:05:31,844 --> 00:05:33,245
I'm thinking of your career.
162
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:34,612
You are not because you're dicknotized.
163
00:05:34,647 --> 00:05:36,081
Ugh.
164
00:05:36,115 --> 00:05:37,983
Okay, you know what, we
could sit around your room.
165
00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:39,384
We could yap about this all day,
166
00:05:39,418 --> 00:05:42,120
or we could go down to the rehearsal space
167
00:05:42,155 --> 00:05:45,556
and see who Flash likes
and who gets vagected.
168
00:05:45,591 --> 00:05:47,993
Ooh.
169
00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:50,060
- Oh, that thing.
- Yeah, it's good right there.
170
00:05:50,095 --> 00:05:52,029
(Cat) Tell her, guys. Sex
within the band never works.
171
00:05:52,063 --> 00:05:54,031
It's true. Fleetwood Mac.
172
00:05:54,065 --> 00:05:57,134
(Cat) Or ask George Michael
or that other homo from Wham!
173
00:05:57,169 --> 00:05:59,336
Andrew Ridgeley. Don't
ask me why I know that.
174
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:00,671
See you at rehearsal, kids.
175
00:06:00,705 --> 00:06:02,306
Stupid bitch.
176
00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:04,308
- What'd you call me?
- Oh, I called you a bitch.
177
00:06:04,342 --> 00:06:05,875
That's what I thought you said.
178
00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:07,877
Guess what, one day when you
and the band are on top,
179
00:06:07,912 --> 00:06:10,313
you are gonna love this bitch.
180
00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:12,949
Okay, Johnny, follow her,
181
00:06:12,983 --> 00:06:14,617
and don't let her be alone with Flash.
182
00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:15,919
Got it.
183
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,128
(Gigi on phone) Did she ever make
a move on you back in the day?
184
00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:26,586
No, but I made a drunk move
on her once in, like, '92.
185
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,022
We fooled around a little, but...
186
00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,623
I never slept with her, no.
187
00:06:29,658 --> 00:06:31,859
Well, you better not let
her put a spell on you.
188
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:33,827
- With what?
- With her tits.
189
00:06:33,862 --> 00:06:35,362
Don't get titmatized.
190
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,064
I already been by you.
191
00:06:37,098 --> 00:06:38,898
Look, she's really hell-bent
on keeping us on apart,
192
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,299
and did you know about the tattoo?
193
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,669
Just get dressed and hurry
your ass down here.
194
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,403
I don't want to deal with her on my own.
195
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,538
Okay, baby, I will.
196
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,840
Okay. Hey, honey, honey.
197
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:48,908
Yeah?
198
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,877
How does she look?
199
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:57,382
- Pow.
- Wow.
200
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:58,950
- Wow.
- Look at the detail.
201
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,251
It's just like the old ax.
202
00:07:00,252 --> 00:07:03,055
I know; I was trying to make an impression.
203
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,322
Well, you would have.
204
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:05,482
You did just now.
205
00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:09,127
[laughs] You got any ink?
206
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,362
Remember how you always said
the band meant more to you
207
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,831
than it did to me?
208
00:07:13,865 --> 00:07:15,066
Heathens.
209
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,333
- Oh, my good lord.
- Oh, dude.
210
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:18,002
Holy shit, dude.
211
00:07:18,036 --> 00:07:19,336
I got this right before
212
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:21,806
I found out you were sleeping with my wife.
213
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,541
That's how much I dug the band.
214
00:07:24,576 --> 00:07:29,245
You find something or someone
that you care about,
215
00:07:29,279 --> 00:07:31,447
you suck it up, Johnny boy.
216
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:33,449
(Rehab) Damn straight, Flash.
217
00:07:33,483 --> 00:07:35,685
You know what I'd like to hear,
what you been working on.
218
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:36,853
- Oh.
- Yeah, you been writing?
219
00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:38,454
Yeah, I've been writing.
220
00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:42,258
I... I just sold a song to Sheryl Crow...
221
00:07:42,292 --> 00:07:43,593
Wow.
222
00:07:43,627 --> 00:07:45,861
And Lucinda Williams is
covering another one.
223
00:07:45,895 --> 00:07:46,862
Wow.
224
00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:48,230
I make a pretty good living,
225
00:07:48,264 --> 00:07:49,932
and I don't have to deal with being famous.
226
00:07:49,966 --> 00:07:52,467
You want to know what I'm
famous for in my little town?
227
00:07:52,501 --> 00:07:55,904
- My tomatoes.
- Ooh, I love tomatoes.
228
00:07:55,939 --> 00:07:57,272
Don't you miss the spotlight?
229
00:07:57,306 --> 00:08:01,710
No, no, my spotlight is a
big fat Midwestern moon
230
00:08:01,745 --> 00:08:04,245
and a wide sky full of stars every night,
231
00:08:04,279 --> 00:08:07,949
just me and my horses.
232
00:08:07,983 --> 00:08:10,918
Actually, I wrote a tune recently
233
00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:14,288
that made me think of you.
234
00:08:14,322 --> 00:08:16,023
- Me?
- Yeah.
235
00:08:16,058 --> 00:08:17,625
Here, come on now,
236
00:08:17,659 --> 00:08:20,593
you guys'll pick it up
pretty fast if you want to.
237
00:08:20,628 --> 00:08:21,628
- Cool.
- Do it.
238
00:08:21,662 --> 00:08:22,996
Get up there.
239
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:29,636
[spirited piano music]
240
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:32,538
♪ ♪
241
00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:35,308
♪ Baby, it's late ♪
242
00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:37,843
♪ ♪
243
00:08:37,878 --> 00:08:41,513
♪ It's later than you think ♪
244
00:08:41,547 --> 00:08:44,283
♪ ♪
245
00:08:44,317 --> 00:08:49,822
♪ There's no time to wonder ♪
246
00:08:49,856 --> 00:08:58,163
♪ What we could have done differently ♪
247
00:08:58,197 --> 00:09:00,631
♪ Baby, it's late ♪
248
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,067
♪ ♪
249
00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:09,473
♪ A cold night has fallen ♪
250
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:12,276
♪ On a dangerous day ♪
251
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:15,478
♪ ♪
252
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:22,152
♪ Tomorrow is calling ♪
253
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,822
♪ ♪
254
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:32,295
(both) ♪ There ain't no
magical easy way out ♪
255
00:09:32,329 --> 00:09:34,864
♪ No ♪
256
00:09:34,898 --> 00:09:38,667
♪ It's a sad ♪
257
00:09:38,702 --> 00:09:44,906
♪ Maddening situation ♪
258
00:09:44,941 --> 00:09:46,875
♪ ♪
259
00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:48,509
[soft laughter]
260
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,011
(Johnny) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
261
00:09:50,046 --> 00:09:51,412
Kid.
262
00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,248
Your mother was just showing me her...
263
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:55,483
Us, all of us, her new tune.
264
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,752
Hey, guys. Yeah, we got to do that thing.
265
00:09:57,786 --> 00:09:58,920
(Bam Bam) Yeah, we got to get that...
the thing.
266
00:09:58,955 --> 00:10:00,188
- What thing?
- Come on.
267
00:10:00,223 --> 00:10:01,256
That thing where we're gonna...
268
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:02,323
I wanna watch this thing.
269
00:10:02,357 --> 00:10:03,924
Rehab, get the fuck out of here.
270
00:10:03,959 --> 00:10:05,259
(Rehab) It's starting to heat up a lot.
271
00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:06,393
(Ira) Bye, you guys.
272
00:10:06,427 --> 00:10:10,231
Cat, you and me in the kitchen, now.
273
00:10:10,265 --> 00:10:13,868
You and me in the back hallway, now.
274
00:10:13,902 --> 00:10:16,370
I'll deal with you later.
275
00:10:16,404 --> 00:10:19,105
And then you're gonna have to deal with me.
276
00:10:19,139 --> 00:10:21,241
Please let Flash pick Cat.
277
00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:22,775
Nice to know which side you're on.
278
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:26,445
[singsongy] I'm on God's side.
279
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,547
Do you want to have sex with my mom?
280
00:10:28,582 --> 00:10:30,049
No, I don't.
281
00:10:30,084 --> 00:10:31,650
- Of course I don't, but...
- But what?
282
00:10:31,685 --> 00:10:33,086
Why is there a "but"?
283
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,154
I don't know, just being
around your mom today
284
00:10:35,189 --> 00:10:37,655
made you seem so much younger.
285
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:38,723
A younger version of her.
286
00:10:38,758 --> 00:10:40,592
Wow.
287
00:10:40,626 --> 00:10:42,460
I've never been as honest with
someone as I've been with you.
288
00:10:42,495 --> 00:10:43,996
Not even my ex-wife.
289
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:48,166
Which is why I got to wonder
that maybe, just maybe,
290
00:10:48,201 --> 00:10:49,467
I'm too old for you.
291
00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:52,771
You ever ask yourself that question?
292
00:10:52,805 --> 00:10:56,007
Okay, maybe... Maybe once or twice.
293
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,341
What were you thinking about?
294
00:10:57,376 --> 00:10:58,976
Your hair is thinning.
295
00:10:59,011 --> 00:11:00,444
- My hair's not thinning.
- It's... okay.
296
00:11:00,478 --> 00:11:02,146
It's thin, but it's not thinning.
297
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:03,580
And I wonder what your sex drive
298
00:11:03,615 --> 00:11:04,581
is gonna be like in ten years.
299
00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:06,050
They got pills for that.
300
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:07,151
Not that I need 'em 'cause I don't,
301
00:11:07,185 --> 00:11:08,552
but if I did, which I don't...
302
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:09,553
No, but what if your balls are saggy?
303
00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:11,254
If you have saggy balls?
304
00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:13,723
Well, my balls don't sag
'cause I had a sack jack.
305
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,925
I'm sorry, you had a what?
306
00:11:14,959 --> 00:11:16,927
I had my sack tightened.
307
00:11:16,961 --> 00:11:18,628
I'm a rock star, baby.
308
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:21,664
Tight pants and dog balls don't mix.
309
00:11:21,698 --> 00:11:23,666
Okay, now you actually sound really old.
310
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,236
Well, I'm 50, but my balls are 17.
311
00:11:27,537 --> 00:11:30,505
Total honesty, baby.
312
00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:31,873
Total honesty.
313
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,108
Yup.
314
00:11:33,143 --> 00:11:39,048
Okay, are you attracted to my mom?
315
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:41,438
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.
316
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,319
Oh...
317
00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:50,358
Ugh!
318
00:11:55,864 --> 00:11:57,647
[door slams]
319
00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:08,518
I really like those jeans on you.
320
00:12:08,552 --> 00:12:10,286
I like the tank.
321
00:12:10,321 --> 00:12:12,522
Thanks.
322
00:12:12,556 --> 00:12:14,391
Got to get out of Dodge, Cat.
323
00:12:14,425 --> 00:12:16,691
What are you, the new sheriff in town?
324
00:12:16,726 --> 00:12:18,494
You're breaking Gigi's heart.
325
00:12:18,528 --> 00:12:19,628
Where'd you get those earrings, by the way?
326
00:12:19,662 --> 00:12:21,163
They make your eyes pop.
327
00:12:21,197 --> 00:12:23,865
They're hot, right? Nordstrom's on sale.
328
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:26,535
Listen, Gigi and I have been
spending a lot of time together,
329
00:12:26,569 --> 00:12:29,104
so I really feel like I know
this kid inside and out.
330
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,006
Right, in an apartment paid for by me
331
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,207
and a rehearsal space paid for by me.
332
00:12:33,242 --> 00:12:34,442
No, it's not about the money, Cat.
333
00:12:34,476 --> 00:12:36,010
It is about the money!
334
00:12:36,045 --> 00:12:37,378
Ava, it is about the money,
335
00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:38,712
and it is about the fame,
336
00:12:38,747 --> 00:12:41,282
and it is about my kid's future.
337
00:12:41,316 --> 00:12:44,392
- Where'd you get the boots?
- Online. Boots.com.
338
00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:45,541
Hmm.
339
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:46,620
They make your legs look toned.
340
00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:48,456
They are toned, but it's Zumba.
341
00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:50,424
- Oh, really? How is that?
- It's awesome...
342
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:51,925
- Oh.
- For the legs and the ass.
343
00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:54,061
It's all chicks, though. No guys there.
344
00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:55,754
Oh, I get it.
345
00:12:55,755 --> 00:12:58,290
Okay, so you're lonely out there in Ohio.
346
00:12:58,325 --> 00:13:01,627
Don't have no man to keep you
company, pay you attention,
347
00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:03,895
so you got to come out here
and try to stir up the...
348
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:05,231
- Ma, ma.
- Mm.
349
00:13:05,265 --> 00:13:06,565
I'm not lonely.
350
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,566
Really? You got someone?
351
00:13:08,601 --> 00:13:11,168
I'm banging my UPS guy.
352
00:13:11,203 --> 00:13:13,605
[laughs]
353
00:13:13,639 --> 00:13:16,207
He's got really sexy knees.
354
00:13:16,242 --> 00:13:18,843
I must be Amazon's top customer
these last three months.
355
00:13:18,877 --> 00:13:21,279
Listen to me.
356
00:13:21,313 --> 00:13:23,214
I am not trying to steal her boyfriend.
357
00:13:23,249 --> 00:13:24,748
I am trying to save her
358
00:13:24,782 --> 00:13:26,916
from making the same mistakes that we did.
359
00:13:26,951 --> 00:13:29,219
Doesn't work like that with kids, though.
360
00:13:29,254 --> 00:13:31,455
Oh, really? You're an expert on kids now?
361
00:13:31,489 --> 00:13:34,424
Oh, well, I'm an expert
when it comes to Gigi.
362
00:13:34,459 --> 00:13:35,992
She and I have gotten really close,
363
00:13:36,026 --> 00:13:38,094
and she considers me her surrogate mom.
364
00:13:38,129 --> 00:13:41,464
Okay, let me lay this one out for you, Ava.
365
00:13:41,498 --> 00:13:44,133
The reason why you are close with my kid
366
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,435
is because you're not her mom.
367
00:13:46,470 --> 00:13:47,936
Oh, okay.
368
00:13:47,971 --> 00:13:50,773
Surrogate moms, they don't
need to get pregnant.
369
00:13:50,807 --> 00:13:53,609
Surrogate moms don't need to
push a little human being
370
00:13:53,644 --> 00:13:55,578
out of their formerly tight vaginas,
371
00:13:55,612 --> 00:13:57,112
and then go raise them all by themselves.
372
00:13:57,147 --> 00:13:58,946
Cat, I didn't mean to start anything here.
373
00:13:58,981 --> 00:14:03,752
Surrogate mommies get to be
besties with their daughters.
374
00:14:03,786 --> 00:14:05,453
They get to go drinking with them
375
00:14:05,488 --> 00:14:08,757
and discuss which guy's got a
better ass or a bigger dick.
376
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:09,891
Whoo.
377
00:14:09,925 --> 00:14:13,395
Meanwhile, I'm a real mom,
378
00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:15,796
which means I am not out
to be her best friend.
379
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:17,498
I am out to make sure
380
00:14:17,532 --> 00:14:19,300
that she does not fuck up
381
00:14:19,334 --> 00:14:21,802
the same way that I did.
382
00:14:21,836 --> 00:14:25,972
Gigi is my song,
383
00:14:26,007 --> 00:14:28,375
and you're getting all the royalties.
384
00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:33,713
Go write your own fucking song, huh?
385
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,523
Your hair looks really awesome
like that, by the way.
386
00:14:45,659 --> 00:14:47,460
Thanks.
387
00:14:47,494 --> 00:14:49,828
I just, I feel like this
whole thing is my fault.
388
00:14:49,862 --> 00:14:51,363
Why, did you call mom
389
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:53,665
and tell her what's going
on between me and Flash?
390
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,066
You think I'm that devious?
391
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,201
You were against us from day one.
392
00:14:56,235 --> 00:14:57,836
Honey, I... it's hard
393
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:59,504
for you to understand right
now because it just...
394
00:14:59,539 --> 00:15:02,106
Hey, Dad, if you tell me that
I'm too young to understand,
395
00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:03,608
I will take my boot heel
396
00:15:03,643 --> 00:15:06,144
and jab it into your balls
right under this table.
397
00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:13,784
I am thinking about what's best for you.
398
00:15:13,819 --> 00:15:14,885
No, you're not. You're
not thinking about me.
399
00:15:14,919 --> 00:15:16,119
You're thinking about yourself.
400
00:15:16,154 --> 00:15:17,722
You're thinking about what you want.
401
00:15:17,756 --> 00:15:19,490
Okay, look at these guys
coming in, okay; All your age.
402
00:15:19,524 --> 00:15:21,124
- Look at... handsome guys...
- I'm not interested.
403
00:15:21,159 --> 00:15:23,860
And... and they're not in
a band with you, okay?
404
00:15:23,894 --> 00:15:25,194
I don't like guys my own age.
405
00:15:25,229 --> 00:15:26,563
You know I don't like guys my own age.
406
00:15:26,597 --> 00:15:28,030
They're self-obsessed. They're vain.
407
00:15:28,065 --> 00:15:30,367
They don't listen to me.
408
00:15:30,401 --> 00:15:33,670
No, I'm listening, honey.
It's just my hair was weird.
409
00:15:33,704 --> 00:15:34,971
Dad?
410
00:15:35,005 --> 00:15:36,840
Yeah.
411
00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:39,709
I dig Flash. Okay?
412
00:15:39,744 --> 00:15:41,677
I don't know how long I'm gonna like Flash.
413
00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:43,512
I don't know how far things are gonna go.
414
00:15:43,546 --> 00:15:45,414
I'm just following how I feel right now.
415
00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:48,751
I'm sorry, I'm sorry that
I'm not old and worn out
416
00:15:48,785 --> 00:15:51,787
and filled with all this hard-fought wisdom
417
00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:54,923
that I got from fucking up my career
418
00:15:54,957 --> 00:15:57,058
and my band and drinking
and drugging my band
419
00:15:57,093 --> 00:15:58,092
into oblivion.
420
00:15:58,126 --> 00:15:59,727
All right, well, listen.
421
00:15:59,762 --> 00:16:02,129
There's... there's nothing
I can do about the past,
422
00:16:02,163 --> 00:16:06,701
but you know, I can do
something about right now,
423
00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:08,636
so I'm just making a promise to you.
424
00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:11,038
I'm gonna work on myself, and...
425
00:16:11,072 --> 00:16:13,908
And I'm gonna try and fix the
stuff that's wrong with me,
426
00:16:13,942 --> 00:16:15,909
and then maybe I can help fix you.
427
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,379
Oh, my God.
428
00:16:19,414 --> 00:16:20,614
What?
429
00:16:20,648 --> 00:16:23,082
You just quoted Coldplay.
430
00:16:23,117 --> 00:16:24,418
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
431
00:16:24,452 --> 00:16:26,252
- You said "fix you."
- Oh, my God.
432
00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:27,921
You want to know what's
even more depressing?
433
00:16:27,955 --> 00:16:30,390
- What?
- It really touched me.
434
00:16:30,425 --> 00:16:32,057
[scoffs]
435
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,626
Here's what we're gonna do, Gwyneth.
436
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,761
We can't control what's
going on with Flash.
437
00:16:35,796 --> 00:16:37,463
There's one thing that we can guarantee
438
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,064
we can control right now, which is...
439
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:40,433
What?
440
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:43,402
Which part of my body your
name gets inked onto.
441
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:46,271
Hey, hey, excuse me.
442
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,140
Could I... could I get
some Jamesons, please?
443
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,474
On the rocks or neat, sir?
444
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:50,775
I'm gonna need a whole bottle.
445
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,610
I'm getting my ass branded tonight.
446
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,112
Face. You said I could pick.
447
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:57,482
- You want me to get... Get it on my face?
- Mm-hmm.
448
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,683
Honey, that's...
449
00:16:58,717 --> 00:16:59,851
You said you loved me, I thought.
450
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:00,985
Start with the ass.
451
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,019
Okay.
452
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:05,022
[soft piano music]
453
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:12,062
(both) ♪ There ain't no
magical easy way out ♪
454
00:17:12,096 --> 00:17:14,431
♪ No ♪
455
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,468
♪ It's a sad ♪
456
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:24,206
♪ And maddening situation ♪
457
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,476
♪ ♪
458
00:17:26,510 --> 00:17:28,611
Yeah, see, I think that fits better there.
459
00:17:28,645 --> 00:17:31,948
It does, and I'm totally stealing it.
460
00:17:31,982 --> 00:17:33,315
I like the tune.
461
00:17:36,219 --> 00:17:38,654
Do you remember how invincible
462
00:17:38,689 --> 00:17:42,924
we thought we were at 21?
463
00:17:42,959 --> 00:17:44,559
She's a baby.
464
00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:49,783
You're old enough to be her grandfather.
465
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,137
I'm your speed.
466
00:17:57,171 --> 00:17:59,473
Come on. Right?
467
00:17:59,508 --> 00:18:01,542
I mean, we have the same taste in music.
468
00:18:01,576 --> 00:18:03,511
We have the same taste in movies and food,
469
00:18:03,545 --> 00:18:08,315
and we both like to get
tucked into bed around, what?
470
00:18:08,349 --> 00:18:11,351
10:00? 10:30?
471
00:18:11,386 --> 00:18:14,220
Night before a gig, 9:30.
472
00:18:14,254 --> 00:18:16,823
[laughter]
473
00:18:16,857 --> 00:18:20,560
[soft piano music]
474
00:18:20,594 --> 00:18:24,196
♪ Bum ba dum ♪
475
00:18:24,231 --> 00:18:26,065
You playing this piano,
or are you playing me?
476
00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:33,204
(Johnny) [gasps]
477
00:18:33,239 --> 00:18:36,708
(Ava) Whoa, now we officially own your ass.
478
00:18:36,743 --> 00:18:38,677
I'm surprised you got both names on there.
479
00:18:38,711 --> 00:18:41,046
- It's not much of a canvas.
- That's funny.
480
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,281
Yeah, from now on your daddy's ass
481
00:18:43,315 --> 00:18:46,251
is gonna say "Gigi forever" forever, baby.
482
00:18:46,285 --> 00:18:47,785
Of course, in five years' time
483
00:18:47,819 --> 00:18:49,587
the wrinkles are gonna make it unreadable.
484
00:18:49,621 --> 00:18:50,721
Oh, yeah, but then...
485
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:53,791
Then it'll read "Giver."
486
00:18:53,825 --> 00:18:55,593
(Johnny) Got to tell you,
my head is a hammer.
487
00:18:55,627 --> 00:18:57,261
My ass is on fire.
488
00:18:57,295 --> 00:18:59,430
I'm like one big giant
throbbing wound right now.
489
00:18:59,464 --> 00:19:01,432
Oh, honey, you want me
to get you some coffee?
490
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:04,435
No, I need some... A morphine drip.
491
00:19:04,469 --> 00:19:05,669
What do you have... What
do you have in your stash?
492
00:19:05,703 --> 00:19:06,703
(Rehab) Might have something.
493
00:19:06,737 --> 00:19:07,704
- What's up?
- Hi.
494
00:19:07,738 --> 00:19:09,272
Hey, bro.
495
00:19:09,306 --> 00:19:10,440
- What are you doing?
- What the hell is going on?
496
00:19:10,474 --> 00:19:11,875
(Gigi) What are you doing?
497
00:19:11,909 --> 00:19:12,909
(Rehab) What's with all the pants today?
498
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:13,910
(Rehab) My God.
499
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:14,878
(all) Whoa!
500
00:19:14,912 --> 00:19:16,780
Oh, I love it!
501
00:19:16,814 --> 00:19:18,448
When I'm in, I'm in, baby.
502
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:19,783
(Cat) Wait a minute.
503
00:19:19,817 --> 00:19:20,750
What did you cover?
504
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:21,784
(Flash) Nothing.
505
00:19:21,818 --> 00:19:23,052
- What is that?
- Nothing.
506
00:19:23,086 --> 00:19:24,419
(Bam Bam) Dude, let me see that.
507
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,588
- Go, go, go.
- Hey, wait a minute.
508
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:26,889
(Bam Bam) Wait a minute. Dude.
509
00:19:26,923 --> 00:19:28,523
Dude, there's new and there's old.
510
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,125
You're covering something up, brother.
511
00:19:30,159 --> 00:19:31,694
(Cat) "Gaga." It says "Gaga."
512
00:19:31,728 --> 00:19:32,695
It said "Gaga" before it said "Gigi."
513
00:19:32,729 --> 00:19:34,697
[laughter]
514
00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:37,733
(Cat) Which means that he
probably slept with Lady Gaga,
515
00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:39,300
she used him, and then tossed him.
516
00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:40,434
Fess up, Flashie.
517
00:19:40,469 --> 00:19:41,736
Dude. Okay, Jesus Christ.
518
00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:43,337
Yeah, I pulled a Cat move, all right?
519
00:19:43,371 --> 00:19:46,173
I had a crush on Gaga when
we started playing together,
520
00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:49,477
got this tat in Seattle just
to try to get her attention,
521
00:19:49,511 --> 00:19:51,312
then got to L.A., and it got her attention.
522
00:19:51,346 --> 00:19:53,280
See, look, he just admitted it.
523
00:19:53,315 --> 00:19:56,149
Baby, you don't want Lady
Gaga's leftovers, right?
524
00:19:56,183 --> 00:19:58,752
Well, he used to want Gaga,
525
00:19:58,786 --> 00:20:01,021
- and now he wants me.
- There we go.
526
00:20:01,055 --> 00:20:03,356
I think that's pretty exclusive company.
527
00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:05,859
See, if it said "Taylor Swift,"
it would be a different story.
528
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,999
Mm. Yeah, all right.
529
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:16,068
Well, I... I did my best.
530
00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:18,838
Tried all my tricks, but you
guys made your choices,
531
00:20:18,872 --> 00:20:21,974
so take care of our kid, surrogate mama.
532
00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:24,043
(Ava) Aw, I will, real mama, yeah.
533
00:20:24,077 --> 00:20:26,145
Ah, ha, ha.
534
00:20:26,179 --> 00:20:28,881
I will see you chumps later,
535
00:20:28,915 --> 00:20:31,349
and you still think I'm a bitch?
536
00:20:31,383 --> 00:20:33,051
I do think you're a bitch,
537
00:20:33,085 --> 00:20:34,418
but I still love you.
538
00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:36,655
And I you.
539
00:20:36,689 --> 00:20:38,256
- Come here, huh?
- Oh.
540
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:40,058
Ew. Oh, shit.
541
00:20:40,092 --> 00:20:41,559
Oh, shit!
542
00:20:41,593 --> 00:20:44,763
I just smudged your daddy's tattoo.
543
00:20:44,797 --> 00:20:45,997
Um.
544
00:20:47,966 --> 00:20:49,004
What?
545
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,480
Come on.
546
00:20:55,514 --> 00:20:56,780
- What?
- Sit down.
547
00:20:56,815 --> 00:20:57,759
I don't want to sit down, honey.
548
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,284
I want to find out why your
dad tat is melting off.
549
00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:02,852
Okay, sit down and calm
down, and I'll tell you.
550
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:05,021
Okay. Ow.
551
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,289
I can't sit down,
552
00:21:06,324 --> 00:21:07,424
because I have actual tattoos
553
00:21:07,458 --> 00:21:09,526
that are inflicting actual pain,
554
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,728
okay, so why... why'd
you try to fake me out?
555
00:21:11,762 --> 00:21:15,599
I got a henna tattoo because I
was not willing to commit to you
556
00:21:15,633 --> 00:21:18,268
until I was sure that you
were willing to commit to me.
557
00:21:18,302 --> 00:21:19,635
I committed, honey. I committed.
558
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:20,936
I committed both ass cheeks,
559
00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:23,105
okay, so now you got to step up, right?
560
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,307
You're gonna step up.
561
00:21:25,342 --> 00:21:26,975
You're not gonna step up.
562
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:29,245
Do you remember when I
asked you if you loved me
563
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:30,446
and you hesitated?
564
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,681
Honey...
565
00:21:32,715 --> 00:21:34,383
Yes, okay.
566
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,820
I hesitated.
567
00:21:39,855 --> 00:21:42,524
I don't know why, but
I'm not hesitating now.
568
00:21:42,558 --> 00:21:44,592
As a matter of fact,
569
00:21:44,627 --> 00:21:48,163
I have your name emblazoned
on my rear end forever.
570
00:21:48,197 --> 00:21:50,532
I know, but you said it was complicated.
571
00:21:50,566 --> 00:21:52,333
You said that our
relationship was complicated
572
00:21:52,368 --> 00:21:54,568
and how you felt about
me was very complicated.
573
00:21:54,602 --> 00:21:55,735
I did.
574
00:21:58,039 --> 00:21:59,739
I just need more time.
575
00:21:59,774 --> 00:22:03,143
I need a little bit more time to feel safe
576
00:22:03,178 --> 00:22:06,980
because I want to make
sure it's gonna last.
577
00:22:07,014 --> 00:22:08,482
- Okay.
- Okay?
578
00:22:08,516 --> 00:22:09,650
Yeah. You got it.
579
00:22:09,684 --> 00:22:11,284
I am going to get a tattoo, though,
580
00:22:11,318 --> 00:22:13,752
and I picked it out, and I
want to see if you like it.
581
00:22:13,787 --> 00:22:15,854
It's flaming dice.
582
00:22:15,889 --> 00:22:18,924
You said that was cool, right?
583
00:22:18,958 --> 00:22:20,359
Yeah, I did.
584
00:22:20,394 --> 00:22:22,662
I'm gonna get it on my lower hip.
585
00:22:22,696 --> 00:22:24,063
A lot of flames.
586
00:22:24,097 --> 00:22:25,531
(Johnny) ♪ Johnny Cash said ♪
587
00:22:25,566 --> 00:22:27,199
♪ There's a demon deep inside ♪
588
00:22:27,233 --> 00:22:29,867
♪ That every man keeps caged ♪
589
00:22:29,902 --> 00:22:32,904
♪ ♪
590
00:22:32,938 --> 00:22:35,207
♪ 'Cause otherwise it'll break those ties ♪
591
00:22:35,241 --> 00:22:38,543
♪ And knock you down and
swallow up the days ♪
592
00:22:38,578 --> 00:22:42,080
♪ ♪
593
00:22:42,216 --> 00:22:46,012
Sync and corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com
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