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My name is H.I. McDunnough.
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Call me Hi.
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The first time I met Ed...
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was in the county lockup in Tempe, Arizona.
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Don't forget his profile, Ed.
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Turn to the right!
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The day I'll never forget.
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Turn to the right!
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What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you?
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Short for Edwina. Turn to the right!
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You're a flower, you are.
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Just a little desert flower.
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Let me know how those come out.
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Prison life is very structured...
15
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more than most people care for...
16
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but there's a spirit of camaraderie between the men...
17
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like you find only in combat, maybe...
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or on a pro ball club in the heat of the pennant drive.
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In an effort to better ourselves...
20
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we were forced to meet with a counselor...
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who tried to help us figure out why we were the way we were.
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All he wanted was a hot roll and butter.
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So...
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why do you use the word "trapped"?
25
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Why do you say you feel trapped in a man's body?
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Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard.
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Have you learned anything, Hi?
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Yes, sir. You bet.
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You wouldn't lie to us, would you?
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No, ma'am. Hope to say.
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OK, then.
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I tried to stand up and fly straight...
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but it wasn't easy with Reagan in the White House.
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I don't know.
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They say he's a decent man, so...
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maybe his advisers are confused.
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Turn to the right.
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What's the matter, Ed?
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My "fy- ance" left me.
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She said her fiance had run off...
41
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with a student cosmetologist...
42
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who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.
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The sumbitch.
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Don't forget his phone call, Ed.
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Tell him I think he's a damn fool, Ed.
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You tell him I said so...
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H.I. McDunnough.
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If he wants to discuss it, he knows where to find me...
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in the Maricopa County Maximum Security...
50
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Correctional Facility For Men...
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State Farm Road Number Thirty- one, Tempe, Arizona!
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I'll be waitin'!
53
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I'll be waitin'.
54
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I can't say I was happy to be back inside...
55
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but the flood of familiar sights, sounds, and faces...
56
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almost made it feel like a homecoming.
57
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Most men your age are getting married and raising a family.
58
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Well, factually...
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They wouldn't accept prison as a substitute.
60
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Would any of you men care to comment?
61
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sometimes your career has got to come before family.
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Work's what's kept us happy.
63
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I tried to sort through what Doc Schwartz had said...
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but prison ain't the easiest place to think.
65
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When there was no meat, we ate fowl.
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When there was no fowl, we ate crawdad.
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When there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
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- You ate what? - We ate sand.
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- You ate sand? - That's right.
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Well, Hi, you done served your twenty months...
71
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and seeing as how you never use live ammo...
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we got no choice but to return you to society.
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These doors gonna swing wide.
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I didn't want to hurt anyone, sir.
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Hi, we respect that.
76
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But you're just hurting yourself...
77
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with this rambunctious behavior.
78
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I know that, sir.
79
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OK, then.
80
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I don't know how you come down...
81
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on the incarceration question...
82
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whether it's for rehabilitation or revenge...
83
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but I was beginning to think...
84
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revenge is the only argument makes any sense.
85
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Show the tattoo!
86
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Turn to the right!
87
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Don't forget his fingers, Ed.
88
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Hear about the paddy wagon...
89
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that collided with the cement mixer, Ed?
90
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Twelve hardened criminals escaped.
91
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Ha ha! I heard that one.
92
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Got a new beau?
93
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No, Hi. I sure don't.
94
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Don't worry. I paid for it.
95
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They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
96
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And for once, they may be right.
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- You missed a spot. - Rrr!
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More and more, my thoughts turned to Ed...
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and I finally felt the pain of imprisonment.
100
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Mama would throw the live crawdad...
101
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in a pan of boiling water.
102
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One day, I decided to make my own crawdad...
103
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and I threw it in a pot without the water, you see?
104
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And it was just like making popcorn.
105
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Yeah, the joint is a lonely place...
106
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after lockup and lights out...
107
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when the last of the cons...
108
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has been swept away by the sandman.
109
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But I couldn't help thinking...
110
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that a brighter future lay ahead...
111
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a future that was only eight to fourteen months away.
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They got a name for people like you, Hi.
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That name is called recidivism.
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Repeat offender.
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Not a pretty name, is it, Hi?
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No, sir. That's one bonehead name...
117
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but that ain't me anymore.
118
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You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
119
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No, sir. No way.
120
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'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
121
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Then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
122
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Didn't we just tell you not to do that?
123
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Yes, sir.
124
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OK, then.
125
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Turn to the right!
126
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I'm walking in here on my knees, Ed...
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a free man proposing.
128
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Howdy, Kurt.
129
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And so it was.
130
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Don't forget the bouquet, Ed.
131
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I do.
132
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You bet I do.
133
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OK, then.
134
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Ed's pa staked us to a starter home...
135
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in suburban Tempe...
136
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and I got a job drilling holes in sheet metal.
137
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We were doing paramedical work...
138
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in affiliation with the state highway system.
139
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Not actually practicing, you understand.
140
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Me and Bill were patrolling down Nine Mile.
141
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- Bill Roberts? - No, not that mother- scratcher.
142
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Bill Parker.
143
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Anyway, we're approaching the wreck...
144
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and there's this spherical object...
145
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resting in the highway...
146
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and it's not a piece of the car.
147
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Most ways, the job was a lot like prison...
148
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except Ed was waiting at the end of every day...
149
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and a paycheck at the end of every week.
150
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Government do take a bite, don't she?
151
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These were the happy days...
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the salad days, as they say.
153
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Ed felt that having a critter was the next logical step.
154
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It was all she thought about.
155
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Her point was that there was too much love and beauty...
156
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for just the two of us...
157
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and every day we kept a child out of the world...
158
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was a day he might later regret having missed.
159
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That was beautiful.
160
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So we worked at it on the days we calculated most likely to be fruitful...
161
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and we worked at it most other days, just to be sure.
162
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Ed rejoiced that my lawless years were behind me...
163
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and that our child- rearing years lay ahead.
164
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And then the roof caved in.
165
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Hi...
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I'm barren!
167
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At first I didn't believe it...
168
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that this woman who looked as fertile...
169
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as the Tennessee Valley...
170
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could not bear children.
171
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But the doctor explained that her insides...
172
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were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
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Ed was inconsolable.
174
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We tried an adoption agency.
175
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It's true that Hi has had a checkered past.
176
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But Ed here is an officer of the law twice decorated...
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so we figure it kind of evens out.
178
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But biology and the prejudices of others...
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conspired to keep us childless.
180
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Our love for each other was stronger than ever...
181
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but I premonised no return of the salad days.
182
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The pizzazz had gone out of our lives.
183
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Ed lost all interest in both criminal justice...
184
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and housekeeping.
185
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Soon after, she tendered her badge.
186
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Even my job seemed as dry and bitter...
187
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as a hot prairie wind.
188
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So here's Bill walking down Nine Mile...
189
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That's Bill Parker, you understand.
190
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He's got his sandwich in one hand...
191
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and the fuckin' head in the other!
192
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I even caught myself driving by convenience stores...
193
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that weren't on the way home.
194
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Then, one day...
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the biggest news hit the state since they built the Hoover Dam.
196
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The Arizona Quints was born.
197
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By Arizona Quints...
198
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I mean they was born to a woman named Florence Arizona.
199
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As you probably guessed...
200
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Florence Arizona is the wife of Nathan Arizona...
201
00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:03,042
and Nathan Arizona...
202
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well, hell, you know who he is.
203
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So come on down to Unpainted Arizona...
204
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where you can get the finest selection...
205
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in fixtures and appointments...
206
00:10:13,765 --> 00:10:16,393
for your bathroom, bedroom, boudoir!
207
00:10:16,435 --> 00:10:19,272
And if you can find lower prices anywhere...
208
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my name ain't Nathan Arizona!
209
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The owner of the largest chain of unpainted furniture...
210
00:10:24,571 --> 00:10:29,077
and bathroom fixture outlets throughout the Southwest.
211
00:10:29,119 --> 00:10:32,498
Yep, Florence had been taking fertility pills...
212
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,751
and she and Nathan had hit the jackpot.
213
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214
00:10:37,297 --> 00:10:42,178
Now, y'all without sin can cast the first stone...
215
00:10:43,138 --> 00:10:46,142
but we thought it was unfair that some should have so many...
216
00:10:46,184 --> 00:10:48,395
while others should have so few.
217
00:10:50,189 --> 00:10:52,316
With the benefit of hindsight...
218
00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:54,486
maybe it wasn't such a hot idea.
219
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,283
But at the time...
220
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,369
Ed's little plan seemed like the solution...
221
00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:02,538
to all our problems...
222
00:11:02,581 --> 00:11:05,668
and the answer to all our prayers.
223
00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:42,259
Eight hundred leaf- tables and no chairs?
224
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,929
You can't sell leaf- tables and no chairs.
225
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Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!
226
00:11:48,393 --> 00:11:50,312
I asked my wife. She got more sense.
227
00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:54,067
Miles, alls I know is...
228
00:11:54,109 --> 00:11:56,654
I'm away from the office to play with my kids...
229
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and everything goes straight to heck!
230
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I ain't gonna stand for it!
231
00:12:02,036 --> 00:12:04,956
Yeah, if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass a- hoppin'.
232
00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:07,544
I am sick of your excuses, Miles.
233
00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:10,422
It is now precisely...
234
00:12:10,465 --> 00:12:13,635
8:45 in the p.m.
235
00:12:13,677 --> 00:12:16,222
I'm gonna be down at that store in exactly twelve hours...
236
00:12:16,264 --> 00:12:18,433
to kick me some butt...
237
00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,435
or my name ain't Nathan Arizona!
238
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,070
That sounds like Larry.
239
00:12:27,112 --> 00:12:30,074
No, no, no. Shh. Shh.
240
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Quiet, quiet, quiet.
241
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,503
Quiet, quiet.
242
00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:42,633
Quiet.
243
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:43,801
Good boy.
244
00:12:48,766 --> 00:12:49,934
Quiet, quiet.
245
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,820
That's it. Good, good.
246
00:12:59,698 --> 00:13:00,866
Quiet.
247
00:13:05,456 --> 00:13:06,624
Yes.
248
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:17,304
Here's a rattle.
249
00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:18,682
Rattle. OK?
250
00:13:18,724 --> 00:13:20,100
OK, good.
251
00:13:35,872 --> 00:13:37,290
No, no.
252
00:13:37,332 --> 00:13:39,835
Shh. Shh. Quiet, quiet.
253
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:55,398
Come here.
254
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,098
Come here. Come here.
255
00:15:31,695 --> 00:15:34,198
Why don't you go up and check on them?
256
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,408
They sound restless.
257
00:16:20,136 --> 00:16:21,429
What's the matter?
258
00:16:21,471 --> 00:16:23,640
I'm sorry, honey. It just didn't work out.
259
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,225
What do you mean it didn't work out?
260
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:29,105
They...they started crying.
261
00:16:29,148 --> 00:16:30,816
They were all over me.
262
00:16:30,858 --> 00:16:32,902
It was kind of horrifying, honey. Let me in.
263
00:16:32,945 --> 00:16:34,238
Of course they cried. Babies cry.
264
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,284
I know that. We better leave.
265
00:16:37,325 --> 00:16:39,035
You go right back up there and get me a toddler.
266
00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:41,915
I need a baby, Hi. They got more than they can handle.
267
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,083
Oh, honey...
268
00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:44,501
Don't you come back here without a baby.
269
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,168
Christian Dior, my butt.
270
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:18,339
They pay money for that?
271
00:17:18,381 --> 00:17:19,549
Yes, dear.
272
00:17:20,926 --> 00:17:22,052
How are the kids?
273
00:17:22,094 --> 00:17:23,721
Fine, dear.
274
00:17:28,102 --> 00:17:30,021
- Which one you get? - I don't know.
275
00:17:30,063 --> 00:17:31,731
- Nathan Junior, I think. - Give me here.
276
00:17:31,774 --> 00:17:33,484
Here's the instructions.
277
00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:36,030
Oh...
278
00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:37,907
he's beautiful.
279
00:17:37,949 --> 00:17:39,492
Yep. He's awful damn good.
280
00:17:39,535 --> 00:17:41,245
I think I got the best one.
281
00:17:41,287 --> 00:17:42,496
I bet they were all beautiful.
282
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,041
All babies are beautiful.
283
00:17:45,042 --> 00:17:46,335
This one's awful damn good, though.
284
00:17:46,377 --> 00:17:47,837
Don't you cuss around him.
285
00:17:47,879 --> 00:17:50,340
He's fine, he is.
286
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:51,926
I think it's Nathan Junior.
287
00:17:51,968 --> 00:17:53,720
We are doing the right thing, aren't we, Hi?
288
00:17:53,762 --> 00:17:55,514
They had more than they could handle.
289
00:17:55,556 --> 00:17:58,268
Well, now, honey, we've been over this and over this.
290
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,396
There's what's right and there's what's right...
291
00:18:00,438 --> 00:18:01,564
and never the twain shall meet.
292
00:18:01,606 --> 00:18:03,441
But don't you think his mama will be upset...
293
00:18:03,484 --> 00:18:05,152
I mean, overly?
294
00:18:05,194 --> 00:18:08,782
Of course she'll be upset, sugar, but she'll get over it.
295
00:18:08,824 --> 00:18:10,993
She's got four little babies...
296
00:18:11,036 --> 00:18:12,871
almost as good as this one.
297
00:18:12,913 --> 00:18:15,374
It's like when I was robbing convenience stores.
298
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:19,045
I love him so much!
299
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,218
I know you do, honey.
300
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:26,222
I love him so much!
301
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,018
I know you do.
302
00:18:43,788 --> 00:18:44,914
Oh!
303
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,135
304
00:18:54,177 --> 00:18:56,221
OK. Bring him in.
305
00:18:57,682 --> 00:18:59,434
This is it, Nathan Junior.
306
00:18:59,476 --> 00:19:01,353
Feast your eyes, old boy!
307
00:19:01,395 --> 00:19:03,022
Don't be so loud around him.
308
00:19:03,064 --> 00:19:05,317
- Damn. I'm sorry, honey. - And don't you cuss.
309
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,403
He don't know a cuss word from Shinola.
310
00:19:07,445 --> 00:19:09,572
Well, you see that he don't.
311
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:10,866
I want to hold him, too.
312
00:19:10,908 --> 00:19:13,161
Well, mind his little fontanel.
313
00:19:13,203 --> 00:19:15,122
Oh, he's all right, he is.
314
00:19:15,164 --> 00:19:17,458
Come on over here, young Nathan Junior.
315
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,210
I'm gonna show you around.
316
00:19:19,253 --> 00:19:21,422
Looky here, young sportsman.
317
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,342
That there's the kitchen area where Ma and Pa chow down.
318
00:19:25,303 --> 00:19:26,846
This here's the TV.
319
00:19:26,888 --> 00:19:28,598
Two hours a day, maximum...
320
00:19:28,641 --> 00:19:30,685
either educational or football...
321
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:33,814
so's you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.
322
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,360
And this here's the divan...
323
00:19:37,402 --> 00:19:39,780
for socializing and relaxing with the family unit.
324
00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:42,492
Yes, sir.
325
00:19:42,534 --> 00:19:45,287
Many's the day we sat there and said...
326
00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:49,418
"Wouldn't it be nice to have a youngster here to share our thoughts and feelings?"
327
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:51,462
He's tired, Hi.
328
00:19:51,505 --> 00:19:53,716
Well, I'll just set you right there, boy.
329
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:56,803
Just put those dogs up and take a load off.
330
00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:59,598
331
00:19:59,641 --> 00:20:02,853
332
00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:05,440
333
00:20:05,482 --> 00:20:11,156
334
00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:24,257
What? Are you kidding? We got us a family here!
335
00:20:25,509 --> 00:20:28,554
He's a scandal, isn't he? He's a little outlaw.
336
00:20:28,597 --> 00:20:30,599
No. He...he's a good boy.
337
00:20:30,641 --> 00:20:31,767
He ain't too good.
338
00:20:31,809 --> 00:20:33,895
You can tell by that twinkle in his eye.
339
00:20:34,563 --> 00:20:36,106
Don't you think we ought to put him to bed?
340
00:20:36,148 --> 00:20:37,483
No. Hang on, honey.
341
00:20:37,525 --> 00:20:39,903
Let's preserve the moment in pictures.
342
00:20:39,945 --> 00:20:41,196
Just one, OK?
343
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,617
I got to tell you...
344
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,454
I'm a little scared, Hi.
345
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,456
How come is that, honey?
346
00:20:48,457 --> 00:20:50,167
Well, we got a baby, Hi.
347
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:52,921
It's an awful big responsibility.
348
00:20:52,963 --> 00:20:54,715
Honey, could you slide over a tad...
349
00:20:54,757 --> 00:20:56,092
and raise the nipper up?
350
00:20:56,134 --> 00:20:59,138
I mean, we never done this before...
351
00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:00,515
and I'm kind of nervous.
352
00:21:00,556 --> 00:21:01,932
You're doing real good, sugar.
353
00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:10,653
- I love you, Hi. - We're set to pop here, honey.
354
00:21:10,653 --> 00:21:13,657
- You're gonna help, aren't you? - How's that, honey?
355
00:21:13,658 --> 00:21:15,702
Contribute...
356
00:21:15,744 --> 00:21:17,454
to the management of the child.
357
00:21:18,998 --> 00:21:20,625
Quiet evenings at home together.
358
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:24,797
- You can count on it, honey. - Everything decent and normal.
359
00:21:24,839 --> 00:21:26,132
We're set to pop here, honey.
360
00:22:55,587 --> 00:22:57,089
OK.
361
00:22:57,131 --> 00:22:58,591
What is she?
362
00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:00,260
Station wagon. Looks nice.
363
00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:32,303
- Merry Christmas. - Open up! It's the police!
364
00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:33,471
What's going on?
365
00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:35,140
- Stay in here. - Open up!
366
00:23:35,975 --> 00:23:37,477
They ain't gonna split up the family.
367
00:23:37,519 --> 00:23:39,938
Open up in there!
368
00:23:39,980 --> 00:23:41,189
I'd like to see them try.
369
00:23:43,902 --> 00:23:47,198
Open up! Maybe we'll let you plea- bargain!
370
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:55,209
Oh, Gale! Oh, make me sick!
371
00:23:58,547 --> 00:24:01,676
Honey, I'd like you to meet...
372
00:24:01,718 --> 00:24:04,304
Gale and Evelle Snoats...
373
00:24:04,347 --> 00:24:07,726
as fine a pair as ever broke and entered!
374
00:24:10,939 --> 00:24:14,360
Boys...this here's my wife.
375
00:24:15,445 --> 00:24:17,155
- Ma'am. - Miz McDunnough.
376
00:24:17,197 --> 00:24:20,910
Kind of late for visitors, isn't it, Hi?
377
00:24:20,953 --> 00:24:23,706
Yeah, but these boys just got out of the joint...
378
00:24:23,748 --> 00:24:26,710
so we got to show a little hospitality.
379
00:24:26,752 --> 00:24:31,049
H.I., looks like you been up to the devil's business.
380
00:24:31,091 --> 00:24:34,387
Is that a him or a her?
381
00:24:34,429 --> 00:24:36,056
It's a little boy.
382
00:24:38,101 --> 00:24:39,728
Got a name, does he?
383
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:42,064
So far, we just been using Junior.
384
00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:43,733
We call him Junior.
385
00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:46,403
You mean J.R., just like the TV show?
386
00:24:50,284 --> 00:24:52,244
That's good!
387
00:24:52,287 --> 00:24:55,416
"Welcome home, son." Where's he been?
388
00:24:55,458 --> 00:24:57,961
- Phoenix. - Tulsa.
389
00:24:58,003 --> 00:25:00,923
He was visiting his grandparents.
390
00:25:00,965 --> 00:25:02,133
They're separated.
391
00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:03,927
Would that be your folks, ma'am?
392
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:05,137
No. I'm afraid not.
393
00:25:05,179 --> 00:25:08,224
You said your folks was dead, H.I.
394
00:25:08,308 --> 00:25:12,605
We thought Junior should see their final resting place.
395
00:25:12,647 --> 00:25:14,274
Why don't you boys have a seat?
396
00:25:18,989 --> 00:25:21,408
Hi, it's 2:00 in the morning.
397
00:25:23,203 --> 00:25:24,412
What's that smell?
398
00:25:24,455 --> 00:25:28,210
We don't always smell this way, Miz McDunnough.
399
00:25:28,252 --> 00:25:30,254
I was just explaining to your better half here...
400
00:25:30,296 --> 00:25:32,006
that when we were tunneling out...
401
00:25:32,049 --> 00:25:33,509
we happened to hit the main sewer line...
402
00:25:33,551 --> 00:25:36,054
dumb luck that... and we followed that...
403
00:25:36,096 --> 00:25:38,474
You mean you busted out of jail?
404
00:25:38,516 --> 00:25:41,603
We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
405
00:25:41,645 --> 00:25:44,732
What Evelle's saying is we felt the institution...
406
00:25:44,774 --> 00:25:46,818
no longer had anything to offer us.
407
00:25:46,860 --> 00:25:48,236
My Lord, he's cute!
408
00:25:48,279 --> 00:25:50,365
He's a little outlaw. You can see that, Hi.
409
00:25:50,407 --> 00:25:52,534
Now, listen. You folks can't stay here.
410
00:25:53,912 --> 00:25:55,038
Ma'am?
411
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,373
You just can't stay.
412
00:25:56,415 --> 00:25:58,459
I appreciate your being friends of Hi...
413
00:25:58,543 --> 00:26:00,629
but this is a decent family now.
414
00:26:00,671 --> 00:26:02,131
We got a toddler here.
415
00:26:05,886 --> 00:26:08,514
Say, who wears the pants around here, H.I.?
416
00:26:08,556 --> 00:26:12,060
Ha! Honey, these boys just got out of the joint...
417
00:26:12,103 --> 00:26:13,605
Don't "honey" me.
418
00:26:13,647 --> 00:26:15,607
You can set a while and catch up...
419
00:26:15,649 --> 00:26:17,151
but then be on your way.
420
00:26:27,624 --> 00:26:30,794
Got you on an awful short leash, don't she?
421
00:26:49,821 --> 00:26:51,281
Are they still here?
422
00:26:52,783 --> 00:26:53,909
Yeah.
423
00:26:53,951 --> 00:26:57,956
They're just gonna stay a day or two, honey.
424
00:26:57,998 --> 00:27:01,043
It's raining out. They got nowheres to go.
425
00:27:01,127 --> 00:27:03,254
They're fugitives, Hi.
426
00:27:03,297 --> 00:27:06,301
How are we gonna start a new life with them around?
427
00:27:06,301 --> 00:27:09,930
Well, honey, you got to have a little charity.
428
00:27:10,974 --> 00:27:14,854
You know, in Arab lands, you set out a plate.
429
00:27:14,896 --> 00:27:16,564
Promise, just a day or two.
430
00:27:18,902 --> 00:27:20,404
Tonight and tomorrow, tops.
431
00:27:24,534 --> 00:27:26,453
That night, I had a dream.
432
00:27:27,622 --> 00:27:28,748
I drifted off...
433
00:27:28,790 --> 00:27:32,711
thinking about happiness, birth, and new life...
434
00:27:34,464 --> 00:27:36,591
but now I was haunted by a vision of...
435
00:27:40,264 --> 00:27:41,932
He was horrible.
436
00:27:44,436 --> 00:27:46,814
The lone biker of the apocalypse.
437
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,362
A man with all the powers of hell at his command.
438
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,762
439
00:27:53,824 --> 00:27:55,242
He could turn the day into night...
440
00:27:57,036 --> 00:27:59,372
and laid to waste everything in his path.
441
00:28:04,046 --> 00:28:07,425
He was especially hard on the little things...
442
00:28:07,467 --> 00:28:09,720
the helpless and the gentle creatures.
443
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,225
He left a scorched earth in his wake...
444
00:28:13,267 --> 00:28:15,853
befouling even the sweet desert breeze...
445
00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:17,605
that whipped across his brow.
446
00:28:19,525 --> 00:28:22,946
I didn't know where he came from or why.
447
00:28:22,988 --> 00:28:29,204
I didn't know if he was... a dream or vision...
448
00:28:29,247 --> 00:28:32,292
but I feared that I myself had unleashed him.
449
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:40,345
For he was the fury that would be...
450
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:44,809
as soon as Florence Arizona found her little Nathan gone.
451
00:29:03,376 --> 00:29:09,634
452
00:29:09,676 --> 00:29:14,599
453
00:29:14,641 --> 00:29:20,649
454
00:29:20,691 --> 00:29:24,654
455
00:29:24,697 --> 00:29:26,032
Is he all right?
456
00:29:26,074 --> 00:29:27,409
He's all right.
457
00:29:27,450 --> 00:29:29,577
He was just having a nightmare.
458
00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:36,337
459
00:29:36,379 --> 00:29:41,594
460
00:29:41,636 --> 00:29:47,685
461
00:29:47,728 --> 00:29:50,481
462
00:29:50,523 --> 00:29:53,610
Sometimes it's a hard world for the little things.
463
00:30:00,328 --> 00:30:04,124
No, the missis and the rest of the kids...
464
00:30:04,167 --> 00:30:07,796
left town to... I ain't sayin' where.
465
00:30:08,589 --> 00:30:10,633
They'll be back here when we're a nuclear family again.
466
00:30:10,675 --> 00:30:12,802
Which tot was abducted?
467
00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:14,722
Nathan Junior, I think.
468
00:30:14,764 --> 00:30:17,267
Do you have anything to say to the kidnappers?
469
00:30:17,309 --> 00:30:18,811
Watch your butts.
470
00:30:18,853 --> 00:30:22,065
It's been rumored your son was abducted by UFOs.
471
00:30:22,108 --> 00:30:24,068
Don't print that, son.
472
00:30:24,110 --> 00:30:28,073
If his mama reads that, she'll lose all hope.
473
00:30:28,116 --> 00:30:31,036
We need to ask you some more questions.
474
00:30:31,036 --> 00:30:35,459
But remember, it's still business as usual at Unpainted Arizona.
475
00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:37,169
If you can find lower prices anywhere...
476
00:30:37,211 --> 00:30:39,088
my name still ain't Nathan Arizona.
477
00:30:39,131 --> 00:30:41,050
But, sir...
478
00:30:47,350 --> 00:30:50,813
Mr. Byrum can take your exemplars while you talk.
479
00:30:50,855 --> 00:30:53,024
Just relax your hand. I'll do the work.
480
00:30:53,066 --> 00:30:55,068
What is this? I didn't steal the damn kid.
481
00:30:55,111 --> 00:30:56,863
These men are with the FBI.
482
00:30:56,905 --> 00:30:58,073
Are you boys crazy?
483
00:30:58,115 --> 00:31:00,576
Alls I know is I wake up and my wife is screaming.
484
00:31:00,618 --> 00:31:04,873
We need to distinguish your prints from the perpetrator, if they left any.
485
00:31:05,959 --> 00:31:07,043
Of course. I know that.
486
00:31:07,085 --> 00:31:08,795
We have an indication...
487
00:31:08,837 --> 00:31:10,297
you were born Nathan Huffheinz.
488
00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:11,466
Is this correct?
489
00:31:11,508 --> 00:31:12,884
I changed my name. What of it?
490
00:31:12,926 --> 00:31:14,761
Can you give us an indication why?
491
00:31:14,804 --> 00:31:16,264
Yeah. Would you buy furniture...
492
00:31:16,264 --> 00:31:19,017
at a store called Unpainted Huffheinz?
493
00:31:19,060 --> 00:31:21,271
Was the child wearing anything when he was abducted?
494
00:31:21,313 --> 00:31:22,856
Nobody sleeps naked in this house.
495
00:31:22,898 --> 00:31:24,525
I am asking the questions.
496
00:31:24,567 --> 00:31:26,569
To put out an APB, I need a description.
497
00:31:26,612 --> 00:31:29,949
We're better trained to intervene in a crisis situation.
498
00:31:29,991 --> 00:31:31,117
What was he wearing?
499
00:31:31,159 --> 00:31:32,368
A dinner jacket. What do you think?
500
00:31:32,411 --> 00:31:33,746
He was wearing his damn jammies.
501
00:31:33,788 --> 00:31:35,915
The child was wearing his jammies.
502
00:31:35,958 --> 00:31:37,501
Do you have any disgruntled employees?
503
00:31:37,543 --> 00:31:38,669
They're all disgruntled.
504
00:31:38,711 --> 00:31:40,630
I ain't running a damn daisy farm.
505
00:31:40,672 --> 00:31:42,758
My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt."
506
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,927
It might have been an employee?
507
00:31:44,970 --> 00:31:46,847
Don't make me laugh. Without my say- so...
508
00:31:46,889 --> 00:31:48,599
they wouldn't piss with their pants on fire.
509
00:31:48,641 --> 00:31:49,934
What did the pajamas look like?
510
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:52,187
I don't know. They were jammies!
511
00:31:52,230 --> 00:31:54,149
They had Yodas and shit on 'em !
512
00:31:55,317 --> 00:31:57,444
Get your damn feet off my coffee table!
513
00:31:57,487 --> 00:31:58,780
Ron, you are upsetting the victim.
514
00:31:58,822 --> 00:32:01,241
Are you boys gonna chase down your leads...
515
00:32:01,283 --> 00:32:03,911
or sit around drinking coffee in the one house...
516
00:32:03,954 --> 00:32:06,248
in the state where I know my boy ain't at?
517
00:32:06,290 --> 00:32:09,460
We don't have any leads aside from the coat.
518
00:32:09,503 --> 00:32:12,173
Give me that! That's a $500 camel's hair coat!
519
00:32:12,215 --> 00:32:15,678
Sir, you might want to wash your hands.
520
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,641
God damn it!
521
00:32:19,683 --> 00:32:24,147
No leads? Everyone leaves microbes and whatnot.
522
00:32:24,189 --> 00:32:25,899
That's your forte, ain't it?
523
00:32:25,942 --> 00:32:29,321
Trackin' down microbes left by criminals and commies.
524
00:32:29,363 --> 00:32:31,782
That's your whole goddamned raison d'etre, ain't it?
525
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:34,995
No leads? I want Nathan Junior back...
526
00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:36,956
or whichever the hell one of 'em they took!
527
00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:41,170
He's out there somewhere. Something leads to him.
528
00:32:41,212 --> 00:32:45,509
And anyone can find him knows the difference between a lead and a hole in the ground!
529
00:33:51,140 --> 00:33:53,267
Awful good cereal flakes, Miz McDunnough.
530
00:34:01,863 --> 00:34:03,239
Why ain't you breast- feedin'?
531
00:34:05,743 --> 00:34:07,161
You appear to be capable.
532
00:34:07,204 --> 00:34:09,415
Mind your own business.
533
00:34:09,457 --> 00:34:11,084
Ma'am, you don't breast- feed him...
534
00:34:11,126 --> 00:34:12,794
he'll hate you for it later.
535
00:34:12,836 --> 00:34:14,630
That's why we wound up in prison.
536
00:34:14,672 --> 00:34:17,258
That's what Doc Schwartz says.
537
00:34:17,301 --> 00:34:18,469
Boys.
538
00:34:20,972 --> 00:34:22,140
Mornin', Hi.
539
00:34:26,980 --> 00:34:28,148
Hi.
540
00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:36,576
Uh...say, boys...
541
00:34:36,619 --> 00:34:41,500
you wouldn't mind making yourself scarce for a couple of hours this afternoon, would you?
542
00:34:41,542 --> 00:34:43,628
We're having some decent friends over.
543
00:34:47,383 --> 00:34:49,552
What Ed means to say is...
544
00:34:49,594 --> 00:34:54,851
seein' as you two boys are wanted...
545
00:34:54,893 --> 00:34:57,688
wouldn't exactly do to have folks seein' you here.
546
00:34:57,730 --> 00:35:00,066
It's for your own protection.
547
00:35:00,818 --> 00:35:02,862
Sure, H.I.
548
00:35:02,904 --> 00:35:05,198
Anything you say, Hi.
549
00:35:05,241 --> 00:35:09,538
Honey, I think I'll skip this get- together myself.
550
00:35:09,580 --> 00:35:12,375
Glen won't mind. I'll duck out with the boys...
551
00:35:12,417 --> 00:35:14,377
knock back a couple of Coca- Colas.
552
00:35:14,420 --> 00:35:16,714
Sure, H.I.
553
00:35:16,756 --> 00:35:18,550
We'd love to have you, Hi.
554
00:35:21,930 --> 00:35:25,559
Maybe that ain't such a swell idea, either.
555
00:35:29,649 --> 00:35:32,110
So many social engagements...
556
00:35:33,445 --> 00:35:35,072
so little time.
557
00:35:43,918 --> 00:35:46,671
Where's that baby Where's he at?
558
00:35:46,672 --> 00:35:48,799
Go find him, honey!
559
00:35:48,841 --> 00:35:50,009
Cut it out, Glen!
560
00:35:50,051 --> 00:35:52,053
He's asleep right now.
561
00:35:52,096 --> 00:35:54,307
Shit! I hope we didn't wake it.
562
00:35:54,349 --> 00:35:56,309
Can I sneak a peek- a- loo?
563
00:35:57,686 --> 00:35:59,438
Come on, kids!
564
00:35:59,481 --> 00:36:01,358
Get away from Mr. McDunnough's car!
565
00:36:08,952 --> 00:36:10,161
What's his name?
566
00:36:11,539 --> 00:36:14,876
Uh, Hi...Junior...
567
00:36:14,876 --> 00:36:16,920
till we think of a better one.
568
00:36:16,963 --> 00:36:18,548
Well, why don't you call him Jason?
569
00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:21,051
I just love biblical names. If I had another little boy...
570
00:36:21,051 --> 00:36:22,719
I'd name him Jason, Caleb, or Tab.
571
00:36:22,762 --> 00:36:25,140
[Gasps] Oh, he's an angel!
572
00:36:25,182 --> 00:36:27,727
He's an angel straight from heaven!
573
00:36:27,769 --> 00:36:30,105
Honey, I had my kids the hard way.
574
00:36:30,147 --> 00:36:31,732
Tell me how you got this little angel?
575
00:36:31,774 --> 00:36:34,861
Did he fly straight down from heaven?
576
00:36:34,903 --> 00:36:37,406
You're gonna send him to Arizona State.
577
00:36:47,087 --> 00:36:48,547
Need a beer, Glen?
578
00:36:48,589 --> 00:36:50,716
Does the Pope wear a funny hat?
579
00:36:50,758 --> 00:36:53,845
Yeah, I guess it is kind of funny.
580
00:36:53,887 --> 00:36:56,306
Say, that reminds me.
581
00:36:56,349 --> 00:36:59,186
How many Polacks it take to screw up a light bulb?
582
00:36:59,228 --> 00:37:01,606
I don't know. One?
583
00:37:01,606 --> 00:37:03,525
Nope, it takes three.
584
00:37:10,285 --> 00:37:12,329
Wait a minute. No, I told it wrong.
585
00:37:12,371 --> 00:37:13,497
Here, I'm starting again.
586
00:37:13,539 --> 00:37:15,917
How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a light bulb?
587
00:37:15,959 --> 00:37:17,419
I don't know, Glen.
588
00:37:17,461 --> 00:37:19,255
'Cause they're so darn stupid!
589
00:37:22,217 --> 00:37:25,304
Shit, man, listen up. Don't you get it?
590
00:37:28,476 --> 00:37:30,103
No, Glen, I sure don't.
591
00:37:30,145 --> 00:37:33,232
I guess that's why they call it a way- homer.
592
00:37:33,274 --> 00:37:34,400
Why?
593
00:37:34,442 --> 00:37:36,069
You only get it on the way home.
594
00:37:36,111 --> 00:37:38,405
I'm already home, Glen.
595
00:37:39,324 --> 00:37:41,535
You wet yourself! You wet yourself!
596
00:37:41,577 --> 00:37:44,873
Mr. McDunnough wet himself, Daddy!
597
00:37:44,915 --> 00:37:47,835
Say, how'd you get that kid so darn fast?
598
00:37:47,835 --> 00:37:49,170
Me and Dot went in to adopt...
599
00:37:49,212 --> 00:37:50,797
on account of something went wrong with my semen.
600
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,343
They said we had to wait five years for a healthy, white baby.
601
00:37:53,385 --> 00:37:57,348
I said, "Five years? OK, what else you got?"
602
00:37:57,348 --> 00:37:58,891
They said they got two Koreans...
603
00:37:58,934 --> 00:38:02,480
and a Negro born with his heart on the outside.
604
00:38:02,522 --> 00:38:04,149
It's a crazy world.
605
00:38:04,191 --> 00:38:05,651
Someone ought to sell tickets.
606
00:38:05,693 --> 00:38:07,028
Sure, I'd buy one.
607
00:38:09,031 --> 00:38:11,325
That Buford's a sly one.
608
00:38:11,367 --> 00:38:13,411
He already knows his ABCs.
609
00:38:13,453 --> 00:38:14,579
Watch this.
610
00:38:14,622 --> 00:38:15,957
Hit the deck, boy!
611
00:38:19,044 --> 00:38:21,046
But like I'm sayin', how'd you get the kid?
612
00:38:22,424 --> 00:38:27,013
This whole thing is just who knows who.
613
00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:29,266
Then over here you have favoritism.
614
00:38:29,308 --> 00:38:31,727
Ed has a friend at one of the agencies.
615
00:38:31,728 --> 00:38:33,438
Maybe she can do something for me and Dot.
616
00:38:33,481 --> 00:38:34,899
There's something wrong with my semen.
617
00:38:34,899 --> 00:38:36,526
That reminds me, what you gonna name it?
618
00:38:38,028 --> 00:38:40,447
Ed. Ed Junior.
619
00:38:40,490 --> 00:38:41,950
But I thought you said it was a boy.
620
00:38:41,992 --> 00:38:45,037
As in "Edward." We just like that name.
621
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,582
Yeah, that's a good one.
622
00:38:46,582 --> 00:38:47,958
I don't need another kid...
623
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,253
but Dot says these are getting too big to cuddle.
624
00:38:50,295 --> 00:38:52,005
Say, that reminds me...
625
00:38:54,259 --> 00:38:56,470
Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.
626
00:38:58,264 --> 00:39:01,059
Then there's the diphtheria- tetanus.
627
00:39:01,101 --> 00:39:03,103
Get them dip- tet boosters yearly...
628
00:39:03,146 --> 00:39:05,106
or else they'll develop lockjaw and night vision.
629
00:39:05,107 --> 00:39:07,652
Then there's the smallpox vaccine...
630
00:39:07,693 --> 00:39:09,236
chicken pox, and measles.
631
00:39:09,279 --> 00:39:10,488
If your kid's anything like ours...
632
00:39:10,531 --> 00:39:12,033
you'll have to get those shots yourself first...
633
00:39:12,074 --> 00:39:13,701
before he'll ever take them.
634
00:39:13,743 --> 00:39:15,703
Who's your pediatrician, anyway?
635
00:39:15,746 --> 00:39:19,250
We ain't exactly fixed on one yet, have we, Hi?
636
00:39:21,504 --> 00:39:23,464
No, I guess we don't have one yet.
637
00:39:23,507 --> 00:39:26,344
Jesus! You got to have one this instant!
638
00:39:26,385 --> 00:39:28,429
What if the baby gets sick, honey?
639
00:39:28,472 --> 00:39:30,599
Even if he don't get sick, he's got to have his dip- tet.
640
00:39:30,641 --> 00:39:32,184
He's got to have his dip- tet, honey.
641
00:39:33,604 --> 00:39:35,314
Have you started his bank accounts yet?
642
00:39:35,314 --> 00:39:37,650
Have we done that? We got to do that, honey.
643
00:39:37,651 --> 00:39:38,777
What's that for?
644
00:39:38,819 --> 00:39:41,322
His orthodontia and his university.
645
00:39:41,322 --> 00:39:44,118
Soak his thumb in iodine you might get by without orthodontia.
646
00:39:44,159 --> 00:39:46,578
Won't knock a thing off the university.
647
00:39:46,621 --> 00:39:48,874
Ray, take that diaper off your head!
648
00:39:48,916 --> 00:39:51,419
Put it back onto your sister!
649
00:39:51,461 --> 00:39:53,588
You probably got the life insurance...
650
00:39:53,631 --> 00:39:55,133
all squared away.
651
00:39:55,174 --> 00:39:56,509
Have we done that yet, honey?
652
00:39:58,262 --> 00:39:59,930
Got to do that, Hi.
653
00:39:59,972 --> 00:40:01,974
Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.
654
00:40:02,017 --> 00:40:03,143
Yes, ma'am.
655
00:40:03,185 --> 00:40:05,020
What would Ed and little angel do if a truck...
656
00:40:05,021 --> 00:40:07,774
splattered your brains all over the interstate?
657
00:40:07,816 --> 00:40:10,361
Yeah, honey. What if you get run over?
658
00:40:10,403 --> 00:40:12,363
Or you got carried off by a twister?
659
00:40:13,658 --> 00:40:18,038
Say, you hear about the person of Polish persuasion...
660
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,417
he walks into a bar with a big pile of shit in his hands...
661
00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:24,422
and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in."
662
00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:25,840
Yeah, that's funny.
663
00:40:25,883 --> 00:40:27,176
You're damn right it's funny.
664
00:40:27,218 --> 00:40:28,845
Shit, what's the matter?
665
00:40:30,556 --> 00:40:31,682
I don't know.
666
00:40:32,809 --> 00:40:36,355
Maybe it's a wife, kids, family life.
667
00:40:36,397 --> 00:40:37,648
I mean...
668
00:40:40,611 --> 00:40:43,615
Are you... are you satisfied, Glen?
669
00:40:44,574 --> 00:40:48,037
Don't you ever feel suffocated?
670
00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:52,209
Like there's something big pressing down?
671
00:40:53,253 --> 00:40:56,340
Yeah, I do know that feeling.
672
00:40:56,382 --> 00:40:57,758
I don't know.
673
00:40:57,801 --> 00:40:59,887
And I told Dot to lose some weight...
674
00:40:59,929 --> 00:41:01,764
but she don't want to listen.
675
00:41:01,764 --> 00:41:05,185
Ha ha ha ha! No, man, I know what you mean.
676
00:41:05,227 --> 00:41:07,605
You got all these responsibilities now.
677
00:41:07,606 --> 00:41:09,274
You're married, you got a kid.
678
00:41:09,316 --> 00:41:12,111
It looks like your whole life is set down...
679
00:41:12,112 --> 00:41:13,530
and where's the excitement?
680
00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:15,074
Yeah, that's it.
681
00:41:15,116 --> 00:41:19,288
That's a disease, but you got a cure.
682
00:41:19,288 --> 00:41:22,625
Dr. Glen is here to tell you that you can heal thyself.
683
00:41:22,626 --> 00:41:23,919
What do I got to do?
684
00:41:23,961 --> 00:41:26,589
Just broaden your mind a little.
685
00:41:26,631 --> 00:41:30,427
Say if I asked you, what do you think about Dot?
686
00:41:30,470 --> 00:41:33,015
She's a fine woman you got there.
687
00:41:33,057 --> 00:41:36,353
You might not know it to look at her...
688
00:41:36,395 --> 00:41:40,775
but she's a hellcat. T- i- g- e- r.
689
00:41:40,817 --> 00:41:42,277
What's that got to do...
690
00:41:42,319 --> 00:41:44,154
Now, don't rush me.
691
00:41:44,155 --> 00:41:47,200
The thing about Dot is...
692
00:41:47,243 --> 00:41:48,911
She told me this.
693
00:41:48,953 --> 00:41:53,459
She thinks... she thinks you're cute.
694
00:41:53,501 --> 00:41:55,461
Yeah?
695
00:41:55,504 --> 00:41:56,797
I'm crappin' you negative...
696
00:41:56,839 --> 00:41:59,008
and I could say the same thing about Ed.
697
00:42:01,303 --> 00:42:02,888
What are you talking about?
698
00:42:02,930 --> 00:42:06,184
What am I talking about? I'm talking about sex, boy.
699
00:42:06,185 --> 00:42:07,561
What the hell are you talking about?
700
00:42:07,603 --> 00:42:08,896
I'm talking about l'amour.
701
00:42:08,939 --> 00:42:11,192
I'm talking me and Dot are swingers...
702
00:42:11,233 --> 00:42:12,943
as in "to swing."
703
00:42:12,986 --> 00:42:15,739
I'm talking about wife- swapping.
704
00:42:15,781 --> 00:42:18,576
I'm talking about what they call open marriage.
705
00:42:18,618 --> 00:42:19,953
I'm talking about...
706
00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:24,083
Keep your goddamn hands off my wife.
707
00:42:27,338 --> 00:42:28,923
I was only trying to help!
708
00:42:28,966 --> 00:42:32,512
You crazy! You're crazy, man!
709
00:42:32,554 --> 00:42:35,349
Keep your goddamn hands off my wife!
710
00:42:35,391 --> 00:42:37,685
You're crazy! I pity you!
711
00:42:51,037 --> 00:42:53,039
We finally go out with some decent people...
712
00:42:53,082 --> 00:42:56,211
and you break his nose. That ain't too funny.
713
00:42:56,253 --> 00:42:58,297
His kids thought it was funny.
714
00:42:58,339 --> 00:43:00,258
Well, they're just kids.
715
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:02,761
You're a grown man with responsibilities.
716
00:43:02,761 --> 00:43:03,929
Whatever possessed you?
717
00:43:05,599 --> 00:43:07,309
He was provoking me.
718
00:43:07,351 --> 00:43:08,519
How?
719
00:43:12,233 --> 00:43:13,359
Never mind.
720
00:43:13,401 --> 00:43:17,990
But, Hi, he's your foreman. He's gonna fire you now.
721
00:43:19,117 --> 00:43:20,744
I expect he will.
722
00:43:20,786 --> 00:43:22,204
And where does that leave the three of us?
723
00:43:22,246 --> 00:43:24,373
Where does that leave our entire family unit?
724
00:43:28,922 --> 00:43:30,590
With a man for a husband.
725
00:43:30,632 --> 00:43:32,426
That ain't no answer.
726
00:43:33,845 --> 00:43:35,722
Honey, that's the only answer.
727
00:43:35,764 --> 00:43:36,890
That ain't no answer.
728
00:43:36,933 --> 00:43:38,768
Just a man for a husband.
729
00:43:46,863 --> 00:43:48,615
Nathan needs some Huggies.
730
00:43:51,828 --> 00:43:53,121
I'll be out directly.
731
00:43:59,338 --> 00:44:01,549
Mind you stay strapped in.
732
00:44:07,224 --> 00:44:08,892
Wake up, son.
733
00:44:11,438 --> 00:44:14,901
I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got.
734
00:44:14,942 --> 00:44:18,154
"No, no, not by the hair on my chinny- chin- chin..."
735
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:20,032
said the little pig.
736
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:21,617
Look at him.
737
00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:23,162
"Then I..."
738
00:44:28,544 --> 00:44:31,047
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff...
739
00:44:31,089 --> 00:44:33,258
"and I'll blow your house in."
740
00:44:34,761 --> 00:44:36,680
That sumbitch.
741
00:44:37,890 --> 00:44:39,850
That son of a bitch.
742
00:44:44,858 --> 00:44:46,485
You son of a bitch!
743
00:44:46,527 --> 00:44:48,905
Hurry up. I'm in Dutch with the wife.
744
00:44:49,739 --> 00:44:51,074
You son of a bitch!
745
00:44:52,952 --> 00:44:54,203
Come on, now.
746
00:44:59,503 --> 00:45:00,671
Honey?
747
00:46:19,235 --> 00:46:21,237
That sumbitch.
748
00:46:22,240 --> 00:46:24,827
Hold on, Nathan. We're gonna go pick up Daddy.
749
00:46:41,434 --> 00:46:44,897
Son, you got a panty on your head.
750
00:46:44,897 --> 00:46:46,524
Just drive fast.
751
00:47:03,340 --> 00:47:05,593
Oh, wait. There's the wife.
752
00:47:05,635 --> 00:47:06,761
Honey!
753
00:47:06,803 --> 00:47:08,764
Grab the baby, now!
754
00:47:27,458 --> 00:47:30,295
Hang on, Nathan. We're gonna take a shortcut.
755
00:47:37,180 --> 00:47:39,641
Aah! Can I stop now?
756
00:47:47,611 --> 00:47:48,779
Thank you.
757
00:47:53,870 --> 00:47:55,664
That's private property, son.
758
00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:59,878
Come out to the street and reveal yourself.
759
00:48:11,187 --> 00:48:12,605
Son of a bitch.
760
00:49:36,976 --> 00:49:40,063
Thank you, honey, but you really didn't have to do this.
761
00:49:40,106 --> 00:49:43,152
You son of a bitch! What if we'd been picked up?
762
00:49:43,193 --> 00:49:44,361
Turn left here.
763
00:49:44,403 --> 00:49:46,614
Nathan Junior would have been accessory to armed robbery.
764
00:49:46,657 --> 00:49:49,619
It ain't armed robbery if the gun ain't loaded.
765
00:49:49,661 --> 00:49:51,163
What kind of home life is this for a toddler?
766
00:49:51,205 --> 00:49:52,498
You're supposed to be an example.
767
00:49:52,540 --> 00:49:53,916
A what Businessman?
768
00:49:53,959 --> 00:49:56,462
I never postured myself as a three- piece- suit type!
769
00:49:56,504 --> 00:49:57,630
Turn right, honey.
770
00:49:57,672 --> 00:49:59,633
We got a child now. Everything's changed.
771
00:49:59,675 --> 00:50:02,595
Nathan Junior accepts me for what I am...
772
00:50:02,638 --> 00:50:05,308
and I think you better had, too.
773
00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:09,397
I'm OK, you're OK. That there's what it is.
774
00:50:09,439 --> 00:50:11,274
I know, but, honey...
775
00:50:11,317 --> 00:50:13,194
I come from a long line of frontiersmen...
776
00:50:13,236 --> 00:50:16,866
Oh, here it is, dear. Turn here.
777
00:50:16,908 --> 00:50:18,618
I'm not gonna live this way, Hi.
778
00:50:18,661 --> 00:50:20,914
It just ain't family life!
779
00:50:20,956 --> 00:50:23,751
Well, it ain't Ozzie and Harriet.
780
00:50:49,663 --> 00:50:51,165
You two are leaving tomorrow morning.
781
00:50:51,207 --> 00:50:52,542
I got nothing against you personally...
782
00:50:52,584 --> 00:50:54,378
but you're wanted by the authorities...
783
00:50:54,420 --> 00:50:56,923
and you're a bad influence in this household.
784
00:50:58,134 --> 00:50:59,302
Well, ma'am...
785
00:51:01,138 --> 00:51:03,725
we sure didn't mean to influence anybody.
786
00:51:03,767 --> 00:51:06,437
And if we did, we apologize.
787
00:51:06,479 --> 00:51:08,523
I'm going in town tomorrow to see about shots for the baby.
788
00:51:08,565 --> 00:51:11,444
When I come back, you better be gone.
789
00:51:29,679 --> 00:51:32,182
What's he need, his dip- tet?
790
00:51:33,059 --> 00:51:37,732
I'm awful sorry, boys, but...when Ed gets mad...
791
00:51:37,774 --> 00:51:40,569
you know, she gets an idea.
792
00:51:40,611 --> 00:51:43,198
There ain't a thing to apologize for, H.I.
793
00:51:44,158 --> 00:51:46,619
Seems pretty clear what the situation is here.
794
00:51:48,664 --> 00:51:52,502
Yeah. I guess the missis wants us to clear out.
795
00:51:52,545 --> 00:51:56,425
Now, H.I., if you'll pardon me for sayin' so...
796
00:51:57,677 --> 00:52:00,514
I get the feelin' that this here ain't exactly workin' out.
797
00:52:00,556 --> 00:52:02,725
Edwina's generally a real sweetheart.
798
00:52:02,768 --> 00:52:05,855
And as per usual, I wouldn't be surprised...
799
00:52:05,897 --> 00:52:09,694
if the source of the marital friction weren't financial.
800
00:52:10,863 --> 00:52:15,411
As a matter of fact... I did lose my job today.
801
00:52:15,453 --> 00:52:20,168
Oh, Hi, you're young and got your health.
802
00:52:20,209 --> 00:52:21,919
What do you want with a job?
803
00:52:21,962 --> 00:52:24,757
I'd rather light a candle than curse your darkness.
804
00:52:25,842 --> 00:52:27,177
Now, as you know...
805
00:52:27,219 --> 00:52:30,974
Evelle and I never go anywhere without there's a purpose.
806
00:52:32,352 --> 00:52:34,605
And here we are in your little domicile.
807
00:52:37,943 --> 00:52:40,655
We come to invite you in on a little score.
808
00:52:40,697 --> 00:52:42,658
- A bank, H.I. - Come on, now!
809
00:52:42,700 --> 00:52:47,289
I know you're partial to convenience stores...
810
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:48,707
but damn it, H.I...
811
00:52:50,169 --> 00:52:53,173
the sun don't rise and set on the corner grocery.
812
00:52:53,173 --> 00:52:54,842
It's like Doc Schwartz says.
813
00:52:54,884 --> 00:52:57,345
You got to have a little ambition.
814
00:52:57,387 --> 00:52:59,056
We just watchin' on the news...
815
00:52:59,098 --> 00:53:02,394
how somebody went and snatched one of them Arizona babies.
816
00:53:05,566 --> 00:53:06,817
Oh, for Christ's sakes.
817
00:53:06,859 --> 00:53:09,487
That's somebody who's thinking big.
818
00:53:09,530 --> 00:53:11,991
Here you are sitting on your butt...
819
00:53:12,033 --> 00:53:13,743
playing house with a...
820
00:53:13,786 --> 00:53:15,830
don't get me wrong... with a fine woman...
821
00:53:15,872 --> 00:53:19,961
but a woman who needs a button- down type.
822
00:53:20,003 --> 00:53:21,630
I don't particularly think that's any of your...
823
00:53:21,672 --> 00:53:24,384
Hold on, H.I. Now looky there.
824
00:53:25,386 --> 00:53:27,055
That's a picture of El Dorado.
825
00:53:27,097 --> 00:53:28,557
The locals call it...
826
00:53:28,599 --> 00:53:31,102
the Farmers & Mechanics Bank of La Grange.
827
00:53:31,144 --> 00:53:32,979
Looks like a hayseed bank.
828
00:53:33,022 --> 00:53:34,983
To tell you the truth, it is a hayseed bank...
829
00:53:35,025 --> 00:53:37,194
except the last Friday of every financial quarter...
830
00:53:37,236 --> 00:53:39,864
there's more cash in that bank than flies at a barbecue.
831
00:53:39,907 --> 00:53:41,492
Guess what day it is tomorrow?
832
00:53:41,534 --> 00:53:43,286
When all the hayseeds come in...
833
00:53:43,328 --> 00:53:46,749
and cash their farm subsidies checks.
834
00:53:46,750 --> 00:53:48,711
A- 1 information.
835
00:53:48,753 --> 00:53:51,548
Got it in the joint from Lawrence Spivy...
836
00:53:51,590 --> 00:53:54,051
one of Dick Nixon's Undersecretary of Agriculture.
837
00:53:54,093 --> 00:53:56,221
He's in for soliciting sex from a state trooper.
838
00:53:56,263 --> 00:53:58,766
Ordinarily we don't associate with that type...
839
00:53:58,809 --> 00:54:02,772
but he was trying to make a few brownie points.
840
00:54:02,814 --> 00:54:04,274
Boys, I can't.
841
00:54:04,316 --> 00:54:07,362
We need someone handy with a scatter- gun...
842
00:54:07,404 --> 00:54:10,950
to cover them hayseeds while we get that cash.
843
00:54:10,993 --> 00:54:12,119
You understand, H.I.?
844
00:54:12,161 --> 00:54:14,998
If this works out, it's just the beginning...
845
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,585
of a spree to cover the entire Southwest.
846
00:54:17,627 --> 00:54:20,464
And we keep going until we can retire...
847
00:54:20,506 --> 00:54:22,550
or we get caught.
848
00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:24,428
Either way, we're fixed for life.
849
00:54:30,604 --> 00:54:32,523
Boys, this is a kind offer, but...
850
00:54:33,775 --> 00:54:36,236
if you're suggesting I just up and leave Ed...
851
00:54:38,282 --> 00:54:40,660
that would be pretty damn cowardly, wouldn't it?
852
00:54:40,702 --> 00:54:43,789
Would it? Think about it, H.I.
853
00:54:45,333 --> 00:54:47,794
Seems to me, sitting here, you ain't doing her any good...
854
00:54:49,631 --> 00:54:51,592
and you ain't bein' true to your own nature.
855
00:55:07,073 --> 00:55:08,658
"My dearest Edwina...
856
00:55:10,703 --> 00:55:13,081
"tonight as you and Nathan slumber...
857
00:55:14,124 --> 00:55:16,085
"my heart is filled with anguish.
858
00:55:17,838 --> 00:55:20,049
"I hope that you will both understand...
859
00:55:20,091 --> 00:55:22,928
"and forgive me for what I have decided I must do.
860
00:55:24,806 --> 00:55:28,269
"By the time you read this, I will be gone.
861
00:55:31,441 --> 00:55:34,570
"I will never be the man that you want me to be...
862
00:55:35,739 --> 00:55:40,746
"the husband and father that you and Nathan deserve.
863
00:55:42,749 --> 00:55:44,543
"Maybe it's my upbringing.
864
00:55:45,836 --> 00:55:48,715
"Maybe it's just that my genes got screwed up.
865
00:55:50,969 --> 00:55:52,179
"I don't know...
866
00:55:54,349 --> 00:55:56,393
"but the events of the last day...
867
00:55:56,435 --> 00:55:59,731
"have showed amply...
868
00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:03,653
"that I don't have the strength of character...
869
00:56:03,695 --> 00:56:05,322
"to raise up a family...
870
00:56:06,574 --> 00:56:09,369
"in the manner befitting a responsible adult.
871
00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:15,086
"I say all this to my shame.
872
00:56:19,217 --> 00:56:21,386
"I will love you always...
873
00:56:22,723 --> 00:56:24,141
"truly and deeply...
874
00:56:26,311 --> 00:56:29,607
"but I fear that if I stay...
875
00:56:29,649 --> 00:56:35,198
"I would only bring bad trouble on the heads of you and Nathan Junior."
876
00:56:36,617 --> 00:56:38,953
"I feel the thunder gathering even now.
877
00:56:41,249 --> 00:56:42,417
"If I leave...
878
00:56:43,794 --> 00:56:47,883
"hopefully, it will leave with me.
879
00:56:51,013 --> 00:56:52,306
"I cannot tarry.
880
00:56:54,476 --> 00:56:55,852
"Better I should go...
881
00:56:57,188 --> 00:56:59,190
"send you money...
882
00:56:59,233 --> 00:57:01,235
"and let you curse my name.
883
00:57:03,698 --> 00:57:04,908
"Your loving...
884
00:57:10,708 --> 00:57:11,876
"Herbert."
885
00:58:12,796 --> 00:58:15,257
Mr. Arizona, he just barged in.
886
00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:17,010
Should I call Dwayne?
887
00:58:18,137 --> 00:58:20,932
Hell, no. Why wake the security guard?
888
00:58:21,768 --> 00:58:23,228
I'll take care of this.
889
00:58:37,582 --> 00:58:38,750
You got flies.
890
00:58:39,668 --> 00:58:41,545
I doubt it.
891
00:58:41,546 --> 00:58:43,966
This place is climate- controlled.
892
00:58:44,008 --> 00:58:45,677
All the windows are sealed.
893
00:58:47,930 --> 00:58:49,348
Who the hell are you?
894
00:58:49,390 --> 00:58:50,683
Smalls.
895
00:58:50,726 --> 00:58:52,269
Leonard Smalls.
896
00:58:53,354 --> 00:58:57,067
My friends call me Lenny... but I got no friends.
897
00:58:57,861 --> 00:59:00,406
Oh, stop. You're gonna make me bust out cryin'.
898
00:59:00,448 --> 00:59:04,495
Leonard, you want some furniture or a shit box...
899
00:59:04,537 --> 00:59:06,206
they're out there on the sales floor.
900
00:59:06,248 --> 00:59:07,917
I'm not a customer.
901
00:59:07,959 --> 00:59:09,586
I'm a manhunter.
902
00:59:10,671 --> 00:59:13,383
Now, of course, I do hunt babies on occasion.
903
00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:16,971
I hear you've got one you can't put your hand to.
904
00:59:18,390 --> 00:59:19,725
What do you know about it?
905
00:59:19,767 --> 00:59:22,854
That's my business. I'm a tracker.
906
00:59:22,897 --> 00:59:25,317
Some say part hound dog.
907
00:59:26,735 --> 00:59:30,448
When some dink busts out of the joint, skips bail...
908
00:59:30,491 --> 00:59:32,285
I'm the one they call.
909
00:59:32,327 --> 00:59:34,538
Mister...
910
00:59:34,580 --> 00:59:37,584
I got the cops, state troopers, Federal B.I...
911
00:59:37,626 --> 00:59:39,378
already looking for my boy.
912
00:59:39,420 --> 00:59:41,422
Now, if you got information...
913
00:59:41,465 --> 00:59:43,300
Cops won't find your boy.
914
00:59:44,052 --> 00:59:47,431
A cop couldn't find his butt if he had a bell on it.
915
00:59:47,473 --> 00:59:50,894
You want to find an outlaw, you call an outlaw.
916
00:59:51,729 --> 00:59:54,274
You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.
917
00:59:56,236 --> 01:00:00,116
Smalls, first off, get your damn feet off my furniture!
918
01:00:00,158 --> 01:00:02,369
Second off, it's widely known...
919
01:00:02,411 --> 01:00:06,166
I posted a twenty- five- grand reward for my boy.
920
01:00:06,208 --> 01:00:09,170
Now, if you can find him, claim it.
921
01:00:09,964 --> 01:00:13,176
Short of that... what have we got to talk about?
922
01:00:14,679 --> 01:00:17,516
Price...fair price.
923
01:00:19,102 --> 01:00:23,775
It's not what you say it is. It's what the market will bear.
924
01:00:23,817 --> 01:00:25,360
Simple economics.
925
01:00:26,154 --> 01:00:28,365
Other people... and mind you, I know them...
926
01:00:28,407 --> 01:00:33,831
that'll pay more than $25,000 for a healthy baby.
927
01:00:35,041 --> 01:00:36,668
What are you after?
928
01:00:36,710 --> 01:00:38,587
Give you an idea.
929
01:00:38,630 --> 01:00:44,054
Why, as a pup, I myself fetched $30,000 on the black market...
930
01:00:44,054 --> 01:00:45,931
them was 1954 dollars.
931
01:00:46,808 --> 01:00:51,022
Now, for fifty grand, I'll track him.
932
01:00:52,149 --> 01:00:53,317
I'll find him.
933
01:00:58,074 --> 01:00:59,826
Them people that took him...
934
01:00:59,869 --> 01:01:01,746
I'll kick their butts.
935
01:01:02,956 --> 01:01:04,708
No extra charge.
936
01:01:06,086 --> 01:01:07,921
And if I don't pay?
937
01:01:07,963 --> 01:01:10,633
I'll get the boy, regardless...
938
01:01:12,345 --> 01:01:14,514
but if you don't pay...
939
01:01:14,556 --> 01:01:16,684
the market will.
940
01:01:16,726 --> 01:01:18,353
You want to know what I think?
941
01:01:19,897 --> 01:01:22,233
I think you're an evil man.
942
01:01:23,778 --> 01:01:26,448
I think this is nothing but a goddamn screw job.
943
01:01:26,490 --> 01:01:28,659
I think it's a shakedown.
944
01:01:28,701 --> 01:01:31,413
I think you're the one that took Nathan Junior...
945
01:01:31,455 --> 01:01:34,793
and you're the one that's gonna get his butt kicked.
946
01:01:34,793 --> 01:01:37,296
I'm gonna phone the cops right now.
947
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:43,430
Up and at 'em !
948
01:01:43,472 --> 01:01:45,433
Today's the first day of the rest of your life.
949
01:01:45,475 --> 01:01:46,810
Already you're messing it up.
950
01:01:46,852 --> 01:01:49,564
Missis gonna be back from town soon.
951
01:01:49,606 --> 01:01:51,275
Where's the baby?
952
01:01:51,317 --> 01:01:52,944
In the bedroom in his crib.
953
01:01:52,986 --> 01:01:55,030
He's sawin' toothpicks. He'll be fine.
954
01:02:00,413 --> 01:02:01,956
You expecting anyone?
955
01:02:01,999 --> 01:02:03,375
No.
956
01:02:08,926 --> 01:02:10,720
You two stay out of sight.
957
01:02:15,018 --> 01:02:16,937
Mornin', Glen.
958
01:02:16,979 --> 01:02:19,816
I ain't comin' in. I'll just keep my distance.
959
01:02:19,858 --> 01:02:22,278
I didn't invite you in, Glen.
960
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:23,613
Don't even bother.
961
01:02:23,655 --> 01:02:26,158
First off, you're fired. And that's official.
962
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,912
I kind of figured that, Glen.
963
01:02:28,954 --> 01:02:31,624
That ain't the reason I come out here.
964
01:02:31,666 --> 01:02:35,004
No. You're in a whole shitload of trouble!
965
01:02:35,046 --> 01:02:37,507
Why don't you just calm down?
966
01:02:37,550 --> 01:02:39,678
Why don't you just make me?
967
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:42,223
You know that little baby you got?
968
01:02:42,265 --> 01:02:44,351
I know what his real name is.
969
01:02:44,393 --> 01:02:46,521
Keep your voice down, Glen.
970
01:02:46,563 --> 01:02:49,942
I'll pitch my voice wherever I please!
971
01:02:49,984 --> 01:02:53,405
His name ain't Hi Junior or Ed Junior...
972
01:02:53,447 --> 01:02:55,241
but it's Junior, all right!
973
01:02:55,283 --> 01:02:57,494
It's Nathan Junior!
974
01:02:57,537 --> 01:02:59,498
Stay away from me, McDunnough!
975
01:02:59,539 --> 01:03:02,626
Yeah, you're an awful big man...
976
01:03:02,669 --> 01:03:05,464
when you got something to clobber a guy with.
977
01:03:06,883 --> 01:03:08,385
I ain't a big man.
978
01:03:08,427 --> 01:03:09,553
That's right.
979
01:03:09,596 --> 01:03:12,224
And now, you're at my mercy.
980
01:03:14,352 --> 01:03:16,563
I'm your worst nightmare.
981
01:03:16,606 --> 01:03:18,233
I was just gonna turn you in for the reward...
982
01:03:18,275 --> 01:03:20,152
but Dot wants something to cuddle.
983
01:03:20,194 --> 01:03:25,451
So we'll call the baby Glen Junior from now on.
984
01:03:25,493 --> 01:03:27,954
I'll give you a day to break the news to Ed.
985
01:03:32,003 --> 01:03:34,840
Dot will be around tomorrow to pick him up.
986
01:03:36,467 --> 01:03:39,304
Either that, or you go to jail.
987
01:03:40,807 --> 01:03:42,768
Say, that reminds me.
988
01:03:42,810 --> 01:03:45,856
You'll be getting a doctor bill in the mail in a few days.
989
01:03:45,897 --> 01:03:48,108
I recommend you pay it!
990
01:04:10,140 --> 01:04:11,266
What's going on here?
991
01:04:11,309 --> 01:04:13,019
You know what's going on. It's just business.
992
01:04:13,061 --> 01:04:14,813
This can go hard or easy, H.I.
993
01:05:11,102 --> 01:05:12,270
My sweet Lord!
994
01:05:29,462 --> 01:05:30,588
Come on.
995
01:06:16,696 --> 01:06:19,616
996
01:06:19,659 --> 01:06:21,494
997
01:06:21,536 --> 01:06:23,580
998
01:06:23,623 --> 01:06:24,833
999
01:06:24,875 --> 01:06:26,001
Good!
1000
01:06:26,043 --> 01:06:28,713
Honey, there ain't a thing to be worried about.
1001
01:06:28,755 --> 01:06:31,008
We're absolutely gonna get him back.
1002
01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:32,927
We'll get him back. That's all there is to it.
1003
01:06:32,969 --> 01:06:36,348
I'm gonna be a better person from here on out.
1004
01:06:36,391 --> 01:06:38,435
That's final. That's absolutely the way it's gonna be.
1005
01:06:38,477 --> 01:06:40,062
That's official. You were right, I was wrong.
1006
01:06:40,105 --> 01:06:41,690
A blind man could tell you that.
1007
01:06:41,732 --> 01:06:42,900
They ain't gonna hurt him.
1008
01:06:42,942 --> 01:06:44,277
They're just in it for the score.
1009
01:06:44,277 --> 01:06:47,197
I ain't like that no more. I'm a changed man.
1010
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:50,119
We got a family. I'm gonna start acting responsibly.
1011
01:06:50,161 --> 01:06:52,122
So let's go, honey.
1012
01:06:52,164 --> 01:06:54,166
Let's go get Nathan Junior!
1013
01:06:54,208 --> 01:06:55,960
All have chicken and dumplings
1014
01:06:56,002 --> 01:06:58,463
Yeah, we'll all have chicken and dumplings
1015
01:06:58,506 --> 01:06:59,632
When she comes
1016
01:07:03,471 --> 01:07:05,682
I lo- o- ove to drive.
1017
01:07:05,725 --> 01:07:08,145
Boy, you sure said something there, partner.
1018
01:07:08,145 --> 01:07:09,939
Yes, sir.
1019
01:07:09,981 --> 01:07:13,444
I figure between the ransom and this bank...
1020
01:07:14,946 --> 01:07:18,117
you and I will be sitting in the fabled catbird seat.
1021
01:07:20,496 --> 01:07:22,957
Gale...um...
1022
01:07:24,126 --> 01:07:27,213
Junior just had a...a...an accident.
1023
01:07:27,255 --> 01:07:29,132
What's that, partner?
1024
01:07:29,175 --> 01:07:31,052
He had himself a little old accident.
1025
01:07:31,094 --> 01:07:33,013
What do you mean? He looks OK.
1026
01:07:33,055 --> 01:07:35,516
No. See, moving, though we are...
1027
01:07:35,559 --> 01:07:37,979
he went and had himself a little old rest stop.
1028
01:07:41,275 --> 01:07:42,693
Well, that's natural.
1029
01:07:46,366 --> 01:07:47,492
Gale?
1030
01:07:47,534 --> 01:07:48,827
What now, little brother?
1031
01:07:51,039 --> 01:07:52,541
He smiled at me.
1032
01:07:56,464 --> 01:08:00,594
You smiled at me, you. Come here. Yeah.
1033
01:08:03,641 --> 01:08:06,102
You know how to put these on?
1034
01:08:06,144 --> 01:08:09,064
Around the butt and up over the groin area.
1035
01:08:09,107 --> 01:08:11,443
I know where they go, old- timer.
1036
01:08:11,485 --> 01:08:14,531
I just want to know whether I need to use pins or fasteners.
1037
01:08:14,573 --> 01:08:18,703
No. They got those tapettes already on there.
1038
01:08:18,746 --> 01:08:21,291
It's self- contained and fairly explanatory.
1039
01:08:25,464 --> 01:08:26,590
Balloons!
1040
01:08:26,632 --> 01:08:28,885
These blow up into funny shapes?
1041
01:08:28,927 --> 01:08:31,096
Well, no, unless round is funny.
1042
01:08:31,138 --> 01:08:32,848
I'll take those, too.
1043
01:08:35,770 --> 01:08:37,647
All right, now!
1044
01:08:37,689 --> 01:08:40,484
Now, you just lie down back there, old- timer.
1045
01:08:40,527 --> 01:08:42,029
Yes, sir!
1046
01:08:42,071 --> 01:08:46,744
I want you to count up to eight hundred twenty- five...
1047
01:08:46,786 --> 01:08:48,246
then on back down to zero.
1048
01:08:48,288 --> 01:08:49,456
OK, then.
1049
01:08:49,498 --> 01:08:51,709
I'm comin' back in five...
1050
01:08:51,751 --> 01:08:53,837
and check to see that you ain't cheatin'.
1051
01:08:53,879 --> 01:08:56,257
Open the door!
1052
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:58,510
He's real cheerful once he warms up to you.
1053
01:08:58,552 --> 01:09:01,639
I don't know how high this one can count.
1054
01:09:01,682 --> 01:09:03,142
Six Mississippi...
1055
01:09:03,184 --> 01:09:04,644
seven Mississippi...
1056
01:09:04,645 --> 01:09:06,272
eight Mississippi...
1057
01:09:06,314 --> 01:09:07,482
nine Mississippi...
1058
01:09:07,524 --> 01:09:10,486
Got some baby grub, baby wipes.
1059
01:09:10,528 --> 01:09:12,822
Got them diapers, them disposable kind.
1060
01:09:12,865 --> 01:09:14,241
I got me a packet of balloons.
1061
01:09:14,283 --> 01:09:16,160
They blow up into funny shapes?
1062
01:09:16,203 --> 01:09:17,830
No. Just circular.
1063
01:09:17,872 --> 01:09:20,375
Say...where's Junior?
1064
01:09:20,417 --> 01:09:23,463
- Didn't you put him in? - I thought...
1065
01:09:25,967 --> 01:09:27,218
Where did we leave him?
1066
01:09:45,244 --> 01:09:46,454
No!
1067
01:10:07,109 --> 01:10:09,070
- My baby! - Aah!
1068
01:10:10,739 --> 01:10:13,701
Eight hundred one Mississippi.
1069
01:10:13,743 --> 01:10:15,704
Eight hundred Mississippi...
1070
01:10:22,172 --> 01:10:24,550
- Aah! - Junior!
1071
01:10:26,219 --> 01:10:29,932
- Aah! Aah! - We're on the way!
1072
01:10:29,975 --> 01:10:32,103
Seven hundred and ninety- one...
1073
01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:34,147
Aw, bullshit!
1074
01:10:40,615 --> 01:10:43,368
Seven hundred and ninety- aught Mississippi...
1075
01:10:48,209 --> 01:10:50,462
Seven hundred eighty- seven Mississippi...
1076
01:10:50,504 --> 01:10:54,467
Oh, baby! Oh, baby.
1077
01:10:54,510 --> 01:10:56,512
Seven hundred eighty- five Mississippi...
1078
01:10:56,554 --> 01:11:00,559
Promise we ain't never gonna leave him, Gale.
1079
01:11:00,602 --> 01:11:04,232
We ain't never gonna give him up again, Evelle.
1080
01:11:04,274 --> 01:11:06,109
He's our little Gale Junior now.
1081
01:11:20,714 --> 01:11:21,882
Ed...
1082
01:11:25,346 --> 01:11:27,724
I realize...
1083
01:11:27,766 --> 01:11:32,272
I can't be much of a comfort to you now...
1084
01:11:34,525 --> 01:11:36,653
but let me just say this.
1085
01:11:38,573 --> 01:11:40,367
You'll feel a whole lot better...
1086
01:11:40,409 --> 01:11:42,870
- I don't want to feel better. - Honey.
1087
01:11:42,912 --> 01:11:45,665
I don't care about myself anymore.
1088
01:11:45,708 --> 01:11:47,460
I don't care about us anymore.
1089
01:11:48,963 --> 01:11:50,924
I just want Nathan Junior back safe.
1090
01:11:50,965 --> 01:11:52,133
I know that.
1091
01:11:52,176 --> 01:11:55,305
If we don't get him back, I don't want to go on living.
1092
01:11:55,347 --> 01:12:00,562
Even if we do get him back, I don't want to live with you.
1093
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:12,162
I...I guess I still love you, Hi.
1094
01:12:12,997 --> 01:12:15,917
I...I know I do.
1095
01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:17,503
I ain't even blamin' you.
1096
01:12:17,545 --> 01:12:21,759
The whole thing was crazy, and the whole thing was my idea.
1097
01:12:21,801 --> 01:12:24,847
Factually, I bear a large percentage...
1098
01:12:24,889 --> 01:12:26,057
Let me finish.
1099
01:12:27,351 --> 01:12:29,437
Ever since those jailbirds took Nathan...
1100
01:12:29,479 --> 01:12:33,109
I been doin' some thinkin', and I ain't too proud of myself.
1101
01:12:33,151 --> 01:12:38,491
Even if Mrs. Arizona had more than she could handle...
1102
01:12:38,533 --> 01:12:44,249
I was a police officer sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States.
1103
01:12:44,292 --> 01:12:46,420
You resigned before we ever...
1104
01:12:46,461 --> 01:12:48,547
That ain't the point, Hi.
1105
01:12:48,589 --> 01:12:50,383
We don't deserve Nathan Junior...
1106
01:12:50,425 --> 01:12:52,594
any more than those jailbirds do.
1107
01:12:53,972 --> 01:12:57,268
If I'm as selfish and irresponsible as you...
1108
01:12:57,310 --> 01:12:58,645
You're not that bad.
1109
01:12:58,687 --> 01:13:01,649
If I'm as bad as you, what good are we to each other?
1110
01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:06,865
You and me's just a fool's paradise.
1111
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:43,165
1112
01:13:56,395 --> 01:13:58,189
- There she is. - Yep.
1113
01:13:59,065 --> 01:14:01,610
Well, let's do her.
1114
01:14:02,403 --> 01:14:04,531
What are we gonna do with Gale Junior?
1115
01:14:04,573 --> 01:14:05,824
He stays here.
1116
01:14:05,867 --> 01:14:07,494
Are you crazy?
1117
01:14:07,536 --> 01:14:10,123
Suppose we go in there and get ourselves killed?
1118
01:14:10,164 --> 01:14:12,292
It would be hours before he gets discovered.
1119
01:14:14,420 --> 01:14:16,673
All right, you hayseeds, it's a stickup!
1120
01:14:17,258 --> 01:14:18,885
Everybody freeze.
1121
01:14:18,927 --> 01:14:20,637
Everybody down on the ground.
1122
01:14:26,605 --> 01:14:28,816
Well, which is it, young feller?
1123
01:14:28,858 --> 01:14:31,653
You want I should freeze or get down on the ground?
1124
01:14:31,695 --> 01:14:36,410
I mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop.
1125
01:14:36,452 --> 01:14:39,080
If'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion.
1126
01:14:39,122 --> 01:14:41,750
- Shut up! - OK, then.
1127
01:14:41,793 --> 01:14:43,879
Everybody down on the ground!
1128
01:14:43,921 --> 01:14:46,215
Forget that part about freezing, now.
1129
01:14:46,258 --> 01:14:49,804
- Till they get down there. - Y'all hear that, don't you?
1130
01:14:49,846 --> 01:14:51,932
Want to fill this up, partner?
1131
01:14:51,974 --> 01:14:54,394
We gotta...Shit!
1132
01:14:54,436 --> 01:14:56,105
Where'd all the tellers go?
1133
01:14:56,147 --> 01:14:57,690
Down here, sir.
1134
01:14:57,732 --> 01:15:00,778
They're on the ground like you commanded, Gale.
1135
01:15:01,822 --> 01:15:04,116
I told you not to use my damn name.
1136
01:15:04,158 --> 01:15:06,536
Can't you try to keep from forgetting that?
1137
01:15:09,457 --> 01:15:11,292
Not even your code name?
1138
01:15:12,962 --> 01:15:15,590
Oh, yeah, yeah. My code name.
1139
01:15:15,633 --> 01:15:18,762
Y'all hear that? We're using code names.
1140
01:15:18,804 --> 01:15:22,058
We're just about ready to begin the robbery proper!
1141
01:15:27,525 --> 01:15:30,070
Hurry up, you dang hayseed!
1142
01:15:30,112 --> 01:15:33,783
All right. Now, y'all know how this here works.
1143
01:15:33,826 --> 01:15:36,830
And that hayseed over there with the red hat...
1144
01:15:36,872 --> 01:15:38,457
he's the monitor.
1145
01:15:38,499 --> 01:15:39,834
OK, you betcha.
1146
01:15:42,213 --> 01:15:45,509
I want you to stay flat for ten full minutes!
1147
01:15:45,551 --> 01:15:48,263
We might just come back in five to check.
1148
01:15:48,305 --> 01:15:50,808
That's for us to know, and y'all to find out.
1149
01:15:50,850 --> 01:15:53,395
Anyone found bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat.
1150
01:16:05,746 --> 01:16:08,458
That old- timer threw off my concentration...
1151
01:16:09,209 --> 01:16:11,044
otherwise, it would've gone smoother.
1152
01:16:11,087 --> 01:16:12,797
Shoot, Gale, we done good.
1153
01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:15,510
This ought to split up nice three ways.
1154
01:16:19,641 --> 01:16:22,228
God damn it! You never leave a man behind!
1155
01:16:47,431 --> 01:16:49,100
- Where's the baby? - Where's the baby?
1156
01:16:49,142 --> 01:16:52,563
God damn it! Ain't we got enough to contend with?
1157
01:16:52,605 --> 01:16:54,566
I don't know, ma'am.
1158
01:16:54,608 --> 01:16:57,487
You never leave a man behind!
1159
01:16:57,487 --> 01:17:01,117
Miz McDunnough, I'm worried sick about him!
1160
01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:04,121
Hold on, H.I. Don't be such a hothead!
1161
01:17:04,163 --> 01:17:05,456
H.I.!
1162
01:17:05,498 --> 01:17:07,834
Miz McDunnough!
1163
01:17:07,877 --> 01:17:10,505
- Let us come with you! - Please!
1164
01:17:10,547 --> 01:17:12,508
It's our baby, too!
1165
01:17:41,383 --> 01:17:43,427
What is he?
1166
01:17:43,469 --> 01:17:45,597
Do you see him, too?
1167
01:19:04,961 --> 01:19:06,171
Give me that baby!
1168
01:19:07,673 --> 01:19:09,258
I want that baby!
1169
01:19:12,346 --> 01:19:14,974
Give me that baby, you warthog from hell!
1170
01:19:36,839 --> 01:19:39,467
Just lay down on the floor, young missy.
1171
01:19:59,872 --> 01:20:01,123
Run along, now, honey.
1172
01:20:01,166 --> 01:20:02,334
But, Hi...
1173
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:06,632
Just run along, now. Whoa!
1174
01:22:06,428 --> 01:22:07,971
I'm sorry.
1175
01:23:06,472 --> 01:23:08,600
What the hell's goin' on?
1176
01:23:09,894 --> 01:23:11,479
Get away from there!
1177
01:23:28,712 --> 01:23:30,339
[Whispers] Let's go.
1178
01:23:30,382 --> 01:23:32,843
Wait a minute.
1179
01:23:32,885 --> 01:23:34,554
I ain't through with you.
1180
01:23:35,556 --> 01:23:38,268
What are you doing creeping around here in the dark?
1181
01:23:38,310 --> 01:23:39,436
You in with Smalls?
1182
01:23:39,478 --> 01:23:41,105
Excuse me?
1183
01:23:41,147 --> 01:23:43,525
Leonard Smalls. Big fella.
1184
01:23:43,567 --> 01:23:45,236
Rides a Harley.
1185
01:23:45,278 --> 01:23:46,780
Dresses like a rock star.
1186
01:23:48,825 --> 01:23:52,371
No, sir. That's who we saved him from.
1187
01:23:53,414 --> 01:23:54,707
It's a long story.
1188
01:23:54,750 --> 01:23:56,711
Suppose you tell it.
1189
01:23:56,753 --> 01:24:00,633
Well, sir, in a reward situation...
1190
01:24:00,675 --> 01:24:02,844
they usually say no questions asked.
1191
01:24:04,180 --> 01:24:06,725
Oh...do they?
1192
01:24:06,767 --> 01:24:07,935
Yeah.
1193
01:24:14,862 --> 01:24:16,864
all right, boy.
1194
01:24:19,034 --> 01:24:21,412
I guess you got a reward coming.
1195
01:24:23,124 --> 01:24:25,126
Twenty- five thousand dollars...
1196
01:24:26,211 --> 01:24:30,133
or...if you need home furnishings...
1197
01:24:30,134 --> 01:24:32,637
I can give you a line of credit at any of my stores.
1198
01:24:32,679 --> 01:24:35,725
That's the way I'd rather handle it. Tax reasons.
1199
01:24:35,767 --> 01:24:37,936
We don't want no reward.
1200
01:24:37,978 --> 01:24:39,772
We didn't bring him back for money.
1201
01:24:39,814 --> 01:24:41,399
We could work it that way, too.
1202
01:24:42,651 --> 01:24:46,531
Could I just look at him a little bit more?
1203
01:24:48,201 --> 01:24:49,744
Be my guest, little lady.
1204
01:24:53,333 --> 01:24:54,459
But, uh...
1205
01:24:55,920 --> 01:24:59,049
would...would you mind telling me exactly how you...
1206
01:25:07,687 --> 01:25:10,482
You took him...didn't you?
1207
01:25:11,526 --> 01:25:13,153
Wasn't that biker at all.
1208
01:25:13,195 --> 01:25:15,072
I took him, sir.
1209
01:25:15,115 --> 01:25:17,618
My wife had nothing to do with it.
1210
01:25:17,660 --> 01:25:19,412
I crept in yon window...
1211
01:25:19,454 --> 01:25:20,997
We both did it.
1212
01:25:21,040 --> 01:25:23,209
We didn't want to hurt him any.
1213
01:25:23,251 --> 01:25:24,711
I just wanted to be a mama.
1214
01:25:24,712 --> 01:25:27,549
It wasn't for money or nothing.
1215
01:25:27,591 --> 01:25:31,012
We just figured you had more than you could handle, babywise.
1216
01:25:31,054 --> 01:25:33,766
But I committed the actual crime...
1217
01:25:33,808 --> 01:25:35,769
so if you need to call the authorities...
1218
01:25:35,811 --> 01:25:38,314
Shut up, boy. Nobody's calling the authorities...
1219
01:25:38,356 --> 01:25:39,440
since there's no harm done.
1220
01:25:39,483 --> 01:25:40,609
Thank you, sir.
1221
01:25:40,651 --> 01:25:43,989
Bullshit. Just tell me why you did it.
1222
01:25:47,411 --> 01:25:48,621
We...
1223
01:25:50,498 --> 01:25:52,208
can't have one of our own.
1224
01:25:59,177 --> 01:26:04,142
look, if you can't have kids, you just got to keep trying...
1225
01:26:04,185 --> 01:26:07,105
and hope medical science catches up with you...
1226
01:26:07,105 --> 01:26:08,815
like Florence and me.
1227
01:26:09,985 --> 01:26:11,612
Caught up with a vengeance.
1228
01:26:12,947 --> 01:26:16,744
But, hell, even if it never does for you...
1229
01:26:16,786 --> 01:26:19,373
you still got each other.
1230
01:26:20,374 --> 01:26:24,588
Sir...those are kind words, but...
1231
01:26:24,631 --> 01:26:28,887
I think the wife and I are splitting up.
1232
01:26:28,928 --> 01:26:31,473
Her point is that we're both kind of...
1233
01:26:32,308 --> 01:26:34,394
selfish and unrealistic...
1234
01:26:34,436 --> 01:26:37,315
so we ain't too good for each other.
1235
01:26:38,025 --> 01:26:41,905
Well, ma'am, I don't know much...
1236
01:26:41,947 --> 01:26:43,616
but I do know human beings.
1237
01:26:45,118 --> 01:26:47,120
You brought back my boy...
1238
01:26:47,163 --> 01:26:51,001
so...you must have your good points, too.
1239
01:26:54,715 --> 01:26:57,302
Sure hate to think of Florence leaving me.
1240
01:26:59,138 --> 01:27:03,310
I...do...love her so.
1241
01:27:12,741 --> 01:27:15,995
You can go out the way you came in...
1242
01:27:16,037 --> 01:27:19,792
and before you go off and do another foolish thing...
1243
01:27:19,834 --> 01:27:22,087
like bustin' up...
1244
01:27:22,129 --> 01:27:24,590
I suggest you sleep on it...
1245
01:27:25,968 --> 01:27:27,511
at least one night.
1246
01:27:30,099 --> 01:27:32,852
That night I had a dream.
1247
01:27:33,729 --> 01:27:36,399
I dreamt I was as light as the ether...
1248
01:27:37,860 --> 01:27:41,114
a floating spirit visiting things to come.
1249
01:27:42,742 --> 01:27:46,038
The shades and shadows of the people in my life...
1250
01:27:46,080 --> 01:27:48,500
rassled their way into my slumber.
1251
01:27:50,461 --> 01:27:54,508
I dreamt that Gale and Evelle had decided to return to prison.
1252
01:27:54,551 --> 01:27:56,887
Probably that's just as well.
1253
01:27:56,929 --> 01:27:58,681
I don't mean to sound superior...
1254
01:27:58,723 --> 01:28:01,769
and they're a swell couple guys...
1255
01:28:02,646 --> 01:28:06,151
but maybe they weren't ready yet to come out into the world.
1256
01:28:08,487 --> 01:28:11,032
And then I dreamed on...
1257
01:28:11,074 --> 01:28:12,784
into the future...
1258
01:28:13,745 --> 01:28:16,707
to a Christmas morn in the Arizona home...
1259
01:28:17,584 --> 01:28:20,171
where Nathan Junior was opening a present...
1260
01:28:20,212 --> 01:28:22,214
from a kindly couple...
1261
01:28:22,299 --> 01:28:24,510
who preferred to remain unknown.
1262
01:28:26,889 --> 01:28:29,893
I saw Glen a few years later...
1263
01:28:29,976 --> 01:28:32,729
still having no luck getting the cops to listen...
1264
01:28:32,772 --> 01:28:35,442
to his wild tales about me and Ed.
1265
01:28:37,529 --> 01:28:40,700
Maybe he threw in one Polack joke too many.
1266
01:28:41,493 --> 01:28:43,287
I don't know.
1267
01:28:45,123 --> 01:28:47,584
And still I dreamed on...
1268
01:28:48,378 --> 01:28:52,634
further into the future than I'd ever dreamed before...
1269
01:28:53,802 --> 01:28:56,973
watching Nathan Junior's progress from afar...
1270
01:28:58,016 --> 01:29:01,771
taking pride in his accomplishments...
1271
01:29:01,813 --> 01:29:03,440
as if he were our own...
1272
01:29:04,484 --> 01:29:07,989
wondering if he ever thought of us...
1273
01:29:08,782 --> 01:29:12,620
and hoping maybe we'd broadened his horizons a little...
1274
01:29:13,497 --> 01:29:16,835
even if he couldn't remember just how they got broadened.
1275
01:29:19,255 --> 01:29:22,760
But still I hadn't dreamt nothing about me and Ed...
1276
01:29:23,887 --> 01:29:25,305
until the end.
1277
01:29:26,766 --> 01:29:28,476
And this was cloudier...
1278
01:29:29,311 --> 01:29:33,525
'cause it was years... years away...
1279
01:29:35,612 --> 01:29:39,367
but I saw an old couple being visited by their children...
1280
01:29:40,243 --> 01:29:42,412
and all their grandchildren, too.
1281
01:29:43,915 --> 01:29:46,376
The old couple wasn't screwed up...
1282
01:29:47,420 --> 01:29:51,008
and neither were their kids or their grandkids.
1283
01:29:51,050 --> 01:29:52,677
Dad.
1284
01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:56,767
And I don't know. You tell me.
1285
01:29:57,601 --> 01:29:59,144
This whole dream...
1286
01:30:00,689 --> 01:30:02,483
was it wishful thinking?
1287
01:30:03,652 --> 01:30:09,201
Was I just fleeing reality like I know I'm liable to do?
1288
01:30:10,328 --> 01:30:11,663
But me and Ed...
1289
01:30:13,541 --> 01:30:15,210
we can be good, too.
1290
01:30:16,545 --> 01:30:18,255
And it seemed real.
1291
01:30:20,008 --> 01:30:21,927
It seemed like us...
1292
01:30:22,679 --> 01:30:24,139
and it seemed like...
1293
01:30:26,935 --> 01:30:28,270
our home.
1294
01:30:30,148 --> 01:30:34,988
If not Arizona, then a land not too far away...
1295
01:30:36,407 --> 01:30:40,537
where all parents are strong and wise and capable...
1296
01:30:41,581 --> 01:30:44,460
and all children are happy and beloved.
1297
01:30:46,713 --> 01:30:47,923
I don't know.
1298
01:30:50,594 --> 01:30:52,263
Maybe it was Utah.
1299
01:33:34,784 --> 01:33:42,784
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