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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:24,984 (PEACEFUL, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC) 2 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:40,082 (CHEERING) 3 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,377 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 4 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,634 (THEME MUSIC) 5 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,553 Hey, everybody. I'm James Duthie. 6 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,221 Yes, he is, and I'm Chad Bailey, 7 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,558 the sexy roguish new face of our parent company's effort 8 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,935 to rebrand Sports Desk for a new generation. 9 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,937 Sports Desk - it's not delivery. 10 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,939 It's Sports Desk. 11 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,733 OK. Uh... 12 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,485 We go live to Reading, Pennsylvania. 13 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,211 With the Big League officially shut down 14 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,654 thanks to the lockout, 15 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,490 all eyes are on the EMHL tonight 16 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,326 as the Reading Wolfdogs get set to take on the Halifax... 17 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:18,329 MAN : Highlanders, this season, the big show made it to us. 18 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:21,791 This lockout means there's gonna be a whole bunch of big dicks 19 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,459 swinging their way down to our league. 20 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,253 Play's gonna get faster, the hits are gonna get harder, 21 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,422 crowd's gonna get crowdier. 22 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,299 You fucking boys are the Light Brigade 23 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,177 and you're gonna need someone at the tip of the spear. 24 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:37,306 - You need a captain. - Yeah. 25 00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:40,976 He's bled blue and orange for this team a long time. 26 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,143 That's right. 27 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:44,730 He's got that shit that keeps him going 28 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:47,274 long after he has any reason to. 29 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,068 Let's open that up. 30 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,824 - Dougie. - (APPLAUSE) 31 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,701 Time for you to put this fucker on. 32 00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,620 Come on! 33 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,666 PLAYER : It looks good on you! Alright. 34 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,752 PLAYER : A C! Whoo! 35 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,925 (SIGHS) Thank you guys so much. 36 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,846 I've never been a captain before. 37 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,223 One time, I had a dream 38 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:21,600 that I was the captain of a monkey ship. 39 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,019 There was all these monkeys playing around, 40 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,272 laughing, having fun, singing, 41 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,774 wearing little monkey sailor hats... 42 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,235 ...fighting over life jackets. 43 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,946 Pierce Brosnan was screaming. 44 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,075 I hope one day I can be the captain of your dreams. 45 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,662 Best wishes, Doug Glatt. 46 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,333 OK, yeah. Alright, good. Well, we, uh... 47 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,627 Doug, we didn't make you captain for your speeches. 48 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,546 We made you captain because... 49 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:53,048 Because you leave it all out there on the fucking ice. 50 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:58,179 Ah, this sport is everything to you, right? 51 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,223 You make me proud to own this team. 52 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:04,602 I want you all to watch Doug out there tonight. 53 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:08,480 Watch him do whatever the fuck it takes 54 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,357 to get us a W. 55 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,277 That said... 56 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,654 Come on! Let's get after it, boys! 57 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,157 (CHEERING, WHOOPING) 58 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,204 - Congrats, bud. - Thank you, buddy. 59 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,916 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 60 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,522 JAMES : Joining us for tonight's game, 61 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,169 our own Red McCauley. 62 00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:32,504 RED : Reading City Council 63 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,548 spent a bunch of money on a new jumbotron, 64 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,717 and right now, it's making everything red. 65 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,969 Go, boys! Go! Let's go! 66 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,097 I love this fucking game. 67 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,766 Halifax and Reading. 68 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,684 Here's LaFlamme dancing with the puck. 69 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,144 LaFlamme spins. He shoots. 70 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,687 He hit the post! 71 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,523 Now it's LaFlamme again! He's all over the ice. 72 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,859 Murphy steps into him. 73 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:57,154 Oh! Glatt absolutely levels Michael Murphy. 74 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,697 Sorry, Mikey. (GRUNTS) 75 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:02,326 Glatt's escorted aside by a couple of Reading Wolfdogs. 76 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,748 LaFlamme. Xavi was flattened. That angers Glatt. 77 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,668 Glatt fires a left. He fires a right. 78 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,170 - Sorry, Mikey! - (GRUNTS) 79 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,631 They're falling. The Wolfdogs are down. 80 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,969 - Sorry, Mikey? - Shut the fuck up, Doug. 81 00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,221 And that is what friends are for, 82 00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:25,307 especially when your friends are huge Jewish guys 83 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,017 named Doug Glatt. 84 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,355 LaFlamme takes the puck. He moves up the left wing. 85 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,922 LaFlamme trying to go to the outside 86 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,566 as the penalties expire. 87 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,277 Both sides at full strength. 88 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,946 LaFlamme in behind the goal, takes it into the corner. 89 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,781 He circles, looks in front. 90 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,242 Awaiting there is Glatt, but LaFlamme holds on. 91 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:45,619 - Jams it. He scores! - (CHEERING) 92 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:49,081 LaFlamme makes it 1-0 for the Halifax Highlanders. 93 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:54,169 - Alright. - Reunited and it feels so good. 94 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:57,256 It's a new dawn for the Halifax Highlanders. 95 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,428 - You're like Captain America! - Captain America. 96 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972 New owner and GM Hyrum Cain's plan 97 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,182 to win a championship in his first season 98 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,726 starts off with a bang 99 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,020 as the Highlanders open the scoring. 100 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:15,691 (THEME MUSIC) 101 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,463 JAMES : Highlanders draw first blood at the buzzer, 102 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,198 but the real story here is the physical play. 103 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,365 Doug Glatt, 104 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,910 like a huge Jewish freight train, doing what he does best. 105 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,871 His tilt with Ross Rhea still number one 106 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:31,040 on the hockeyfights.com All-Time Best List. 107 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,584 He's already proving to be a difference maker 108 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:37,421 for Halifax GM and Highlanders Hall-of-Famer Hyrum Cain. 109 00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,341 The other story to follow is Hyrum's son, Anders Cain, 110 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,593 who's coming off that career-high season last year - 111 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:43,886 80 points. 112 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,305 Anders now finds himself up against his own father's team 113 00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:48,057 in the very first game of the season. 114 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:51,018 Anders is the prototypical modern-era tough guy, 115 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,604 able to drop the gloves and put up the points as well. 116 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:56,065 Anders and Xavier LaFlamme are perfect examples 117 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:57,816 of the kind of top-quality talent 118 00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,110 this lockout is already providing the league. 119 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,779 What a great lockout. 120 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,322 No-one ever says that. 121 00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:06,450 I just did, and I'm Chad Bailey. Sports Desk. 122 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,078 It's sports at a desk, you lunatics. 123 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,246 Look at this motherfucking desk. 124 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:15,751 I wanted to thank my big sis, Eva, 125 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,962 for organising the fuck out of this. 126 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,714 (WOMEN CHEER) 127 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,257 If you're gonna get shittered, 128 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,386 might as well get shittered at my place of work. 129 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,970 - Place of work! - (WOMEN CHEER) 130 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,015 Place of work! Place of work! 131 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,101 DOUG ON TV:..just add some cheese in there. 132 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,186 Oh, shit! There he is! Dougie! 133 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,729 When it gets to a certain length, 134 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,272 I just go to the barber 135 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:40,442 and he cuts it to the length that I want him to cut it to. 136 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,049 - Thank you. - MARY : Attaboy, Dougie! 137 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,948 But just to summarise, that's a yes on mandatory neck guards? 138 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:50,411 Yes. That's correct. Thank you. 139 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,329 OK, now, while we have you here, 140 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,873 is there anyone back home you'd like to give a shout-out to? 141 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,040 Yes, thank you. 142 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,419 I want to say hi to my one teammate, Eva, 143 00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,962 who couldn't be here tonight. 144 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,969 She's my teammate that can't be here right now. 145 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,466 - My wife, Eva. - Doug with that big dick! 146 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,301 That's not appropriate. 147 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,595 I'll do whatever my team needs me to do. 148 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,347 MARY : Yeah, you do! 149 00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:14,226 - Whatever you need. - (RETCHES) 150 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:18,063 (LAUGHS) 151 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,942 My beer's back. 152 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,236 (RETCHES, COUGHS) 153 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,864 (TOILET FLUSHES) 154 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:32,035 (SIGHS) 155 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,961 (BABY COOS) 156 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,504 Oh, f... 157 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,047 RONNIE : Fuck's sake! 158 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:47,801 Jesus Christ. Goddamn it! 159 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,678 No-one wants to skate anymore, is that it? 160 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,597 Do you want to sit here and breathe hard? 161 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,140 Dougie, you're on. 162 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,059 I want you to rough up a few of these Reading cunts right now. 163 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,288 The boys need some inspiration and you can provide that. 164 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,022 Let's go. Come on! Come on! 165 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:05,319 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 166 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,909 Here it comes. 167 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,413 (SPECTATORS EXCLAIM) 168 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,707 You wanna go? 169 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,588 - (WHISTLE BLOWS) - Come on. Come on. 170 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,553 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 171 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,268 Yes. 172 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,687 (SQUELCHING) 173 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,272 RED : Jesus Christ! 174 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,107 Anders Cain with the opening salvo. 175 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,489 - Come on, come on. - Doug Glatt is rocked! 176 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,200 Cain just keeps pouncing. 177 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,495 (BLOWS THUD) 178 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,581 - (JERSEY RIPS) - (GRUNTS) 179 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,793 (BLOWS CRUNCH) 180 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,551 - (GRUNTS) - 'The Thug's in trouble, folks. 181 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,177 (GRUNTS) 182 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,306 - (GROANS) - (BLOW SQUELCHES) 183 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:20,769 (GRUNTS) 184 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:25,524 - (BONES CRUNCH) - (GROANS) 185 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,193 What has happened to Doug Glatt, 186 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,404 the champion in so many eyes? 187 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,532 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 188 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,288 - You fuck! - You popped your whole arm out. 189 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,039 Fuck me. 190 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,667 Did I lose? 191 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,962 (HARD ROCK MUSIC) 192 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:51,258 (CHEERING) 193 00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:02,019 (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SQUEALS) 194 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:06,231 Our boy's moving on to greener pastures, 195 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:10,819 but remember, once a Highlander... 196 00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:15,324 - MEN : Always a Highlander! - MAN : Fuckin' A! 197 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,908 GORD : This one's for you, Dougie. 198 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,245 (BAND PLAYS INTRODUCTION) 199 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:23,707 (SINGS) ♪ Oh, Dougie boy 200 00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:27,919 ♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling... ♪ 201 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,922 Jesus Christ, he's drunk already. 202 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:35,218 Fuckin' right, man. Potato fuckin' salad. 203 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,471 - (BEER MAT SMACKS) - Ow! 204 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,474 You will never eat a meal in peace. 205 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:43,226 Animals don't eat in peace. 206 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:46,271 Animals eat pieces of dog shit. 207 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:50,108 I'm not a fuckin' animal, man. I'm a real person! 208 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,110 - I got real fuckin' emotions! - Fuck you. 209 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,277 (GRUNTS) 210 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,239 Ow, you fuckin' Neanderthals! 211 00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:02,162 I'm so fucking tired, Doug. I'm not as fast as I used to be. 212 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,081 I'm not as tough as I used to be. 213 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,291 MAN : Dougie! This is all for you! 214 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,627 (LAUGHTER) 215 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:11,296 How about you? How much recovery time? 216 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:16,009 The doctor said that I should never play hockey again. 217 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,552 Tabarnak. 218 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,347 Yeah, that's exactly what I said. 219 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,644 And we have a baby coming. 220 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:29,106 Eva's cousin, he's got a job opportunity 221 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,441 at an insurance company. 222 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:36,029 - I mean... - MAN : Sing Dougie boy! 223 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,617 ...I got beaten. 224 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,369 He beat me. 225 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,455 I have to make responsible decisions. 226 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,165 (CROWD APPLAUDS, CHEERS) 227 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,918 I got you. I got you. 228 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,254 Stevesy, I think I'm gonna piss myself. 229 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:57,384 ('MON PAYS NOIR' BY ROBERT COGOI) 230 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:03,932 Hey! There's my guy. Stay there. I'll come to you. 231 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:07,018 - Ooh. Yeah. - Just stand here? 232 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,146 - Just, uh... - (BOTH STAMMER) 233 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,232 - I told you I'm coming to you. - I'm Doug Glatt. 234 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,567 I said I was coming to you. I can do this. 235 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:16,945 Prostate. It's like a fuckin' melon. 236 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:20,615 There we go. See? Flat, I'm fine. It's the stairs. 237 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,659 - I'm Doug Glatt. - Yeah. Bob Forbes. 238 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,786 - Ow, my arm. - Oh, yeah. Hell of an arm. 239 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,496 How excited are you right now, huh? 240 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,707 Yes. Thank you so much. 241 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,500 - The windows here are great. - Yeah. 242 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,419 I'll tell you what, you deserve 'em, 243 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,589 'cause the sky is the limit here at Cornwallis Insurance. 244 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,132 - Hmm. - You seen the commercials? 245 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,967 - No. - Oh, you should. 246 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,510 They're real good. It says... 247 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,221 (SINGS) "Go ahead and call us. We're..." 248 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:44,806 You want me to call you? 249 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,475 No, I want you to finish the song. 250 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,059 - (SINGS) "Cornwallis." - Oh. 251 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:51,062 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. There he is. He's going up, this guy. 252 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,148 Get in there. 253 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:58,570 It used to be a jail. Prisoners killed themselves. 254 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:02,657 Doug Glatt, storage room. That's you. 255 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,201 How's that feel? 256 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,244 You know, you mentioned you play hockey. 257 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,913 I used to watch a lot of hockey 258 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,915 till it got too exciting for the old ticker. 259 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,625 I had a massive heart attack. 260 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,253 Yep, I am a sick man. 261 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,297 Anyway, I'm lying on my death bed 262 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,883 and that's when I got bit by the selling insurance bug. 263 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,344 Yeah, she laid eggs right inside of me 264 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:23,887 and now you're here. 265 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,414 - (MOANING) - I'm allergic to eggs. 266 00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,432 You're an idiot. Nobody's allergic to eggs. 267 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,359 - (MOANING CONTINUES) - Oh, Christ, this guy. 268 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,019 Come on. Come on. Come on! Come on! 269 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,772 Get outta there! Quit! Quit that! 270 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,942 It's like he's showing off, huh? Nice thick stream. 271 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,610 - Yeah. - God. 272 00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,529 They got a whole alley to do that in 273 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,447 and then they choose this window to piss on. 274 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,158 - God, it's like crack to them. - It's crazy. 275 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,827 They also sell crack at that window. 276 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,496 - Oh. OK. - Yeah. But don't worry. 277 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,748 It's safe as long as you get out by sundown. 278 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,919 That's when the hand jobs start. 279 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,382 What the...? 280 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:03,677 ('YOU'RE A STRANGE ANIMAL' BY GOWAN PLAYS IN DISTANCE) 281 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,139 There's a lot of cars in our driveway. 282 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:15,063 - Aah! Surprise! - Thank fuck! 283 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,651 I was gonna be in town anyway, so I thought to myself, 284 00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,712 wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to organise 285 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,197 a little something for the two of you? 286 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,075 Oh, I am so proud of you, Dougie. 287 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,536 You found something secure and steady. 288 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:33,248 You see? Everything has a time and a place. 289 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,209 - (CHUCKLES) - Thanks, Mom. 290 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,337 (SIGHS) A new house, a baby. 291 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,256 I can't believe I'm gonna be a grandmother. 292 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,091 If I'm being honest, 293 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,635 there was a while where I never thought it was gonna happen, 294 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,762 what with Ira being the way he is and all. 295 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,639 - Jesus, Mom. - Wow. 296 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,142 If it makes you feel better, I go all kinds of ways. 297 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:54,352 - (GULPS) - What kind of ways? 298 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:55,896 Well, if you get me drunk enough, 299 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,731 I'll munch a box, piss on an animal. 300 00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:01,276 - I got all kinds of tricks. - (PAINED GROANING) 301 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,737 Feels like my ass blew up! 302 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:07,282 Hey! There he is! 303 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,200 Nah, nah, come on. Give me the good stuff. 304 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,744 Give me the... No, no... 305 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:13,371 - (BLUBBERS LOUDLY) - Oh! 306 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:14,915 (BLUBBERS LOUDLY) 307 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:19,502 (SINGSONGS) Fuckin' mazel tov. Mazel tov. In your ass. 308 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,046 Oh, excuse me! 309 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,882 - I didn't... - Oh, fuck. 310 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,943 Sorry, I was just pretending to butt-fuck my friend. 311 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,486 I don't think we've been properly introduced. 312 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:30,055 I'm Patrick Hoolihan. 313 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,765 We've met, you idiot. 314 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,851 You wouldn't stop hitting on me at Doug and Eva's wedding. 315 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,812 Then you fell asleep and pissed yourself. 316 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,523 - Nice. Represent. - MARY : Yeah. 317 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,234 - Pat, why do you have a boner? - You JUST noticed that? 318 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,488 - Wait, what? I have a what? - MARY : It's nasty. Come on. 319 00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,323 - Clean it up. - Yep, I know. 320 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,075 - (SCREAMS) - No! Stop! 321 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,743 I'm just trying to get rid of it. 322 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:54,746 - Pat always gets boners. - PAT : Aargh! Damn! Hi-yah! 323 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,456 (CAR HORN TOOTS) 324 00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,885 So, how was your first day? 325 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:14,432 Work? Oh. It... Oh, it was so fun. 326 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,602 Yeah, I mean, there was so many documents 327 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:22,190 and phone calls to make and receive 328 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:25,610 and you sit a lot. 329 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,278 Like, pretty much the whole day. 330 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:31,616 You know, so it's safe. You know, it's really safe. 331 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,119 Plus, there's a Harvey's close by, which is good. 332 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,667 Hey. I'm proud of you. 333 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,335 Of us. 334 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,421 We're doing this. 335 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,633 It's... it's a fuckin' lot and... 336 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:53,972 (CHUCKLES)..it's crazy, but we're doing it together. 337 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,809 - A team. - Yeah, we're a team. 338 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,686 Got each other's backs. 339 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,941 I know it's hard for you. 340 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,610 I mean, I know you miss it 341 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,321 and I miss it too. 342 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:13,116 I love watching you play, 343 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,161 but I love you 344 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:19,664 and the family we're gonna have more. 345 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:23,501 - (TOILET FLUSHES) - Ah! Christ. Droppin' loads. 346 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:28,339 Droppin' fuckin' hot meatball loads from my asshole. 347 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,093 Hey, Pat. 348 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,262 Just... I was just... 349 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:37,515 I'm having... I'm having some stomach issues today. 350 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,494 ANNOUNCER : Ladies and germs, welcome to 351 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,812 the Bruised and Battered Hockey Fighting Competition, 352 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,481 proudly banned in 11 states, 353 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,316 six provinces and one territory. 354 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,526 The hockey tournament for retired fourth-liners 355 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,570 with only one rule - 356 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,238 no hockey. 357 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,782 You know, I'll tell you, 358 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,628 'Hot Ice' would've been all over this shit. 359 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,452 Fuckin' kids these days 360 00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,914 with their fuckin' YouTube 361 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,832 and fuckin' ISIS. 362 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,960 (SIGHS) I'll tell you what, I'm into new shit now, 363 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,962 but lately, Dougie, my new thing, 364 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,340 I'm all about going fuckin' door-to-door 365 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,509 selling fuckin' china dogs. 366 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,844 Look at this fuckin' thing, right? 367 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,763 You know, you fuckin'... 368 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,516 You put it some place, you put it another place, 369 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,351 people fuckin' look at it. 370 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,520 It does every... it does everything it needs to do. 371 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,480 Dope, right? 372 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,023 Dougie? 373 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,859 I keep going over it and over it in my head. 374 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,653 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 375 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,322 He was unlike anybody I've ever fought before. 376 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:39,285 He was faster, meaner... 377 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,705 Thank God Eva wasn't watching when he beat me. 378 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:46,209 ANNOUNCER : And now, the main event of the evening, 379 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,295 fighting for the $400 grand prize 380 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,507 is reigning champ Ross 'The Boss'... 381 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,260 - Rhea. - ..Rhea! 382 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,387 (LAUGHS) Yep. You kicked the shit out of him. 383 00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:00,598 He looks like 265 pounds of dog shit 384 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,517 stuffed into fuckin' ice skates, 385 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:06,604 but I'll tell you what, motherfucker can still bang. 386 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,565 (NECK CRACKS) 387 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,528 - Hey, Barnsie. - Boss man. 388 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,905 - How's the shoulder? - Fucked as usual. 389 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,907 Thanks for asking, though. 390 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,326 Alright, I'll make it quick for you. 391 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,870 - (BELL DINGS) - Fuck you. 392 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,539 - (CHUCKLES) - (SPECTATORS CHEER, WHISTLE) 393 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:28,585 MAN : Let's go, Barnsie! 394 00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:32,922 - (PUNCH SMACKS) - Oh! 395 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,967 (BOTH GRUNT) 396 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,222 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS) 397 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,854 - (BLOWS THUD) - SPECTATORS : Oh! 398 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,000 - You alright, Barnes? - Urgh! Go fuck yourself. 399 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:55,737 Jesus fucking Christ, it's a fucking crime scene. 400 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,655 (SPECTATORS APPLAUD) 401 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,790 WOMAN : I love you! 402 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,210 The Bruised and Battered competition 403 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,421 would like to thank you for your continued support, 404 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,257 but we are especially thankful... 405 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,221 ...to the Dartmouth Wig Outlet. 406 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,306 You won't wig out at their prices. 407 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,059 MAN : Your fuckin' sister wears a wig! 408 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,602 (SPECTATOR JEERS INDISTINCTLY) 409 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,145 Alright, 410 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,148 I got some people I wanna thank too. 411 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,816 You fuckin' people. 412 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,610 - (SPECTATORS CHEER, WHISTLE) - Yeah. 413 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:39,239 That's right. I used to think I was done. 414 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,992 Maybe there... there is a time for everybody, 415 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,995 but when I step out on this ice, 416 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,872 and I see all you cheering me on, 417 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,958 I know my time ain't done yet. 418 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,501 Thank you very much. 419 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,127 MAN : You're the fuckin' man, Ross! 420 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,546 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! 421 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:58,925 Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! 422 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,261 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC) 423 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,638 - (THEME MUSIC) - I'm James Duthie. 424 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,516 And I'm Chad Bailey. You're watching Sports Desk. 425 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,810 Sports Desk - we're all pink on the inside. 426 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,728 Oh, Jesus Christ. 427 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,522 Anyway, Halifax's woeful losing streak 428 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,065 extends to 12 straight losses 429 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:15,566 to start the year. 430 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,318 They've been in a rut 431 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,565 since their disastrous season-opening loss to Reading 432 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,407 which saw then-captain Doug Glatt hospitalised 433 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,492 following what would be a career-ending tilt 434 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,119 with Anders Cain. 435 00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:30,164 Can the Highlanders find a way to turn things around? 436 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,458 HYRUM : I bought this team 'cause I win. 437 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,668 RONNIE : I know. 438 00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,896 This lockout should be the best thing that ever happened, 439 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,297 but we're blowing it. 440 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,007 We are going after the biggest names 441 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,550 on this side of the Atlantic, 442 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,135 players you can build a team around, 443 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,803 starting with Anders. 444 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:47,932 - Wait. Your son? - Yeah. 445 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:51,811 He's been a fuckin' beast for Reading, 446 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:55,648 not to mention he almost single-handedly eviscerated us. 447 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,650 Why are you taking so much joy? 448 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,236 He pretty much ended Dougie's fucking hockey career. 449 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:03,239 I think Glatt's career was ending all by itself. 450 00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:05,616 Well, we're never gonna know that now, are we? 451 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:08,286 No offence, Hyrum, OK, 452 00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:11,414 but you and your son are not exactly Walter and Wayne. 453 00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:14,625 That shit is behind us. You can believe he won't fuck this up. 454 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,461 He knows what's at stake. 455 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:20,214 We go all in for Anders, you're gonna make him captain, 456 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:23,259 and I'm gonna... I'm gonna keep his ass in line. 457 00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:25,226 Hyrum, please. Captain? Let's talk about this. 458 00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:27,388 - Ronnie. - Let's think about the A... 459 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,015 - Ronnie. - ..before we get to the C. 460 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:32,018 Ronnie, you're gonna coach my kid. 461 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,062 You're gonna build a team around him. 462 00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,605 You're gonna make him captain 463 00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:37,732 or I'm gonna find some other fuckin' guy who will. 464 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,317 - Fine. - Good. 465 00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:42,820 Fine. Better than being on the dole. 466 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:47,450 ('STRENGTH OF STRINGS' BY GENE CLARK) 467 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,170 - Hey. - Hey. 468 00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:02,757 - Thanks for coming. - Thanks for inviting me. 469 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:07,220 - Welcome. What do you think? - I think it's... 470 00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:10,264 I think it's all... you. 471 00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:12,308 - As it should be, right? - As it should be. 472 00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:13,893 - Great room. - Great room. 473 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,686 Can I get you a soda pop or...? 474 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:19,107 - Uh... - Sunflower seeds? 475 00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,943 - Uh... Uh, yeah. Seeds are good. - Help yourself. Uh, sit down. 476 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,991 Sunflower seeds are for winners. 477 00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:30,368 (CLICKS TONGUE) 478 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:37,291 - Son... - Sorry. (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) 479 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,963 You're carrying the torch now. 480 00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:45,049 - Yes, sir. - You're the one. (CLICKS TONGUE) 481 00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:47,510 - Over to you. - Holding the torch. 482 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:51,222 Our name's on your back. Our family. 483 00:23:51,389 --> 00:23:54,976 Our family, and, actually, um, Mom was asking if... 484 00:23:55,143 --> 00:23:57,395 Our name is a currency in this town. 485 00:23:57,562 --> 00:23:58,938 Absolutely. 486 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:02,024 I don't want you to fuck this up. Not this time. 487 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:05,445 This season's everything. The world is watching. 488 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,738 Maybe not the world. 489 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:10,324 I mean, Canada, probably, but... 490 00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:13,494 And, like, three or four states. 491 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:14,912 Stand up. 492 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:19,876 - I'm giving you the C. - Yeah. 493 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,603 - You're gonna prove me right. - Yes, sir. 494 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:23,045 - You're gonna win. - Gonna win. 495 00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:25,882 - Stay the fuck out of trouble. - Therapy worked this time. 496 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,207 - I don't wanna hear about that. - I won't talk about it. 497 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,263 - That's for your mom. - Yes, sir. 498 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:33,949 - That's shit for your mom. - Yes, sir. 499 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,142 Don't bring shit up like that. 500 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:39,061 MAN ON TV : You don't know nothing about good times. 501 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:42,231 Let me tell you about fuckin' good times. 502 00:24:42,398 --> 00:24:46,068 I remember that summer like it was yesterday. 503 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,864 Good music, nice heat, great friends, 504 00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:51,657 and one night me and my friends - 505 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:57,330 my great friends - went for hamburgers downtown. 506 00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:00,458 That summer, we ruled the world. 507 00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:03,002 We thought we was the kings. 508 00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:05,463 Turns out we was the jokers. 509 00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,965 MAN (2) ON TV : Look what the fucking cat dragged in! 510 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:11,010 Love this fuckin' guy. 511 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:14,597 (GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 512 00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:34,242 (EDGY ROCK MUSIC) 513 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:04,146 He has hair like a lion. 514 00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:07,608 RONNIE : Bring it in! Bring it in! 515 00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:10,528 OK, boys, 516 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:13,030 we kind of fucked up the start of this thing, eh? 517 00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:14,699 So now, we got a few lads 518 00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:16,951 who earn their wages up at the big show 519 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:19,537 down here with us wearing our jerseys. 520 00:26:19,704 --> 00:26:22,707 - Jean Pierre Finch. - Yo. 521 00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:26,127 We got, uh, Pet... Petr 'Petri Dish' Petrov. 522 00:26:26,294 --> 00:26:28,838 - A lot of Ps. - (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 523 00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:31,966 - What's he doing? - He's handing out candy. 524 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:33,968 - Candy? - (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 525 00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:36,512 It's a Slovak tradition, maybe? 526 00:26:36,679 --> 00:26:38,222 Better be. 527 00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:41,183 Oh, my God. 528 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,980 - (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) - OK. And Anders Cain. 529 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,735 OK. Super-duper. 530 00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:53,613 OK, now that Dougie's retired, we need a new captain, 531 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:58,826 and I cannot think of a better leadership tandem 532 00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:01,704 than Xavier LaFlamme with the A, 533 00:27:01,871 --> 00:27:03,289 Anders Cain as captain. 534 00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:05,336 - There you go. Alright. - (HOCKEY STICKS CLACK) 535 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:13,549 Alright. 536 00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:15,760 This ice is shit. Fix it. 537 00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:17,553 Perhaps the new captain 538 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,930 would like to say a few words to his team. 539 00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:22,826 - You'll be alright, son. - Right. Right. 540 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:24,226 (MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) 541 00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:28,064 Nothing else fucking matters if we don't win. 542 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:32,234 If they brought me here to win, my dad brought me here to win, 543 00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:34,445 that's what we're gonna fuckin' do. 544 00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:36,252 Anybody here like fuckin' sunflower seeds? 545 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,175 Well, this bar and sunflower seeds are fuckin' winners. 546 00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:40,034 - Hey, hey... - Fuck, yeah! 547 00:27:40,201 --> 00:27:42,121 - Great. That's good. Yeah. - Fucking right, Dad. 548 00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:43,579 - Right? - Right. 549 00:27:46,082 --> 00:27:49,418 I know many of you are veterans. 550 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:52,046 Many of you are old friends. 551 00:27:52,213 --> 00:27:53,857 Many of you have never worn another sweater. 552 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,467 I'm here to tell you all of that gets you nothing. 553 00:27:56,634 --> 00:27:57,634 (GRUNTS) 554 00:27:57,677 --> 00:28:00,721 Produce, you will be rewarded. Don't, you'll be sent packing. 555 00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:03,015 It's a buyers' market out there, so for most of you, 556 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:04,558 that's your fucking career gone. 557 00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:08,104 ('WEAPON' BY MATTHEW GOOD) 558 00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:09,480 (PLAYERS CHEER) 559 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:11,399 You fucked up the first part of this season. 560 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:13,234 Find a way to be relevant! 561 00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:16,237 Make yourself fucking relevant 562 00:28:16,404 --> 00:28:18,781 - because from this point on... - Fuck! 563 00:28:18,948 --> 00:28:20,700 ...from where I'm fucking standing... 564 00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:24,912 Ah, fuck! 565 00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:26,455 ...it's Darwin. 566 00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:28,958 RONNIE : Come on, guys! I'm paying my rent here! 567 00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,501 Real hockey, guys! 568 00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:35,798 Hey! You! Look alive, man! Who the fuck is Darwin? 569 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,679 (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC) 570 00:28:41,846 --> 00:28:43,889 (CAT YOWLS, SCREECHES IN DISTANCE) 571 00:28:44,056 --> 00:28:45,641 (LOUD CLATTERING NEARBY) 572 00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:51,856 (MAN MOANS, LIQUID GUSHES) 573 00:28:57,194 --> 00:28:58,994 REPORTER ON VIDEO : Anders, new team, new city. 574 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,448 Any message to the fans? 575 00:29:00,614 --> 00:29:03,701 They brought me here to win. 576 00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:05,244 REPORTER : Care to confirm or deny 577 00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:07,121 the rumours of your captaincy? 578 00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:13,586 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 579 00:29:13,753 --> 00:29:15,588 It's my team now. 580 00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:18,132 REPORTER : Xavier LaFlamme declined to comment. 581 00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:26,807 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES) 582 00:29:29,226 --> 00:29:32,354 - (BONES CRUNCH) - Argh! (SIGHS) 583 00:29:51,332 --> 00:29:53,501 - (BELL CHIMES) - Whoa. 584 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:56,879 - What's the bag for? - These are just documents. 585 00:29:57,046 --> 00:29:58,714 This is a huge bag full of documents. 586 00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:00,841 I'm going to the insurance festival. 587 00:30:01,008 --> 00:30:02,468 Huh? 588 00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:04,678 Well, I gotta go, Eva. It's real late. 'Bye. 589 00:30:06,263 --> 00:30:09,850 What... the fuck? 590 00:30:12,061 --> 00:30:14,230 (HINGES SQUEAK) 591 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:24,573 (DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE) 592 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,420 Hello, sir. 593 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:44,885 Holy shit on Mary's tits. 594 00:30:45,052 --> 00:30:47,721 The fuck are you doing here? 595 00:30:49,431 --> 00:30:50,975 I came here to see you. 596 00:30:55,104 --> 00:30:57,898 I got injured. My right arm. 597 00:30:58,065 --> 00:30:59,775 Yeah, I saw that. 598 00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:02,069 Hard lad, is Anders Cain. 599 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,198 So, what are you doing with the hockey bag? 600 00:31:09,827 --> 00:31:12,997 - I wanna be a Highlander again. - Oh, Jesus, kid. 601 00:31:15,124 --> 00:31:18,711 - Will you train me? - Train you to what? 602 00:31:18,878 --> 00:31:21,297 - Teach me to fight with my left. - (LAUGHS) 603 00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:22,840 Teach me to skate better. 604 00:31:23,007 --> 00:31:25,509 What the fuck do I know about skating, Doug? 605 00:31:25,676 --> 00:31:27,595 You see what I do in there. 606 00:31:29,138 --> 00:31:33,559 We can train another time if you're not able to right now. 607 00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:36,604 There's a restaurant nearby that sells hot dogs. 608 00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:38,147 We could just eat those instead. 609 00:31:38,314 --> 00:31:39,523 Hot dogs? 610 00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:41,191 Yeah, it's like a sausage sandwich. 611 00:31:41,358 --> 00:31:42,860 I know what a fuckin' hot dog is. 612 00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:44,570 It looks like a penis. 613 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,489 Jesus Christ. 614 00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:50,659 Alright. 615 00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:53,203 20 minutes. We go in there, get it out of your system. 616 00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:56,332 - Then you go right home, eh? - Thank you, sir. 617 00:31:58,876 --> 00:32:01,712 Oh, goddamn it. Not again! 618 00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:04,983 - They better not have fuckin'... - (DOOR RATTLES) 619 00:32:05,007 --> 00:32:08,093 - (LIGHTS POWER DOWN) - Aw, shit! 620 00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:12,139 I left my fuckin' bus pass in there. 621 00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:16,226 I need my fuckin' bus pass! 622 00:32:16,393 --> 00:32:19,772 - What time is it? - 11:37. 623 00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:21,482 Wait. 624 00:32:23,067 --> 00:32:24,443 11:38. 625 00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:28,155 - Did you just get home? - Yeah. 626 00:32:28,322 --> 00:32:30,824 The insurance carnival was long. 627 00:32:30,991 --> 00:32:31,991 Mm. 628 00:32:32,034 --> 00:32:35,746 I was meeting all these people who do insurance. 629 00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:39,667 It's really safe. 630 00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:41,585 It's a real thing. 631 00:32:41,752 --> 00:32:44,421 It doesn't sound like a real thing. 632 00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:49,551 - Uh... It... - Mmm. You smell like hot dogs. 633 00:32:52,513 --> 00:32:54,348 Thank you. 634 00:32:57,184 --> 00:33:00,229 ('DARE' BY VINCE DICOLA AND SCOTT SHELLY) 635 00:33:00,396 --> 00:33:03,065 (CLOCK TICKS RAPIDLY) 636 00:33:03,232 --> 00:33:05,192 (BELL TOLLS) 637 00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:08,612 - (GRUNTS) - ROSS : That's it. Rotate. 638 00:33:08,779 --> 00:33:11,073 Rotate. Alright, now give me that left across. 639 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,034 SONG : ♪ Sometimes when your hopes have all been shattered 640 00:33:14,201 --> 00:33:16,912 ♪ There's nowhere to turn 641 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,542 ♪ You wonder how you'll keep going... ♪ 642 00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:24,294 RED : Halifax Highlanders and the Hamilton Steelers. 643 00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:25,981 Now LaFlamme's just hammered in the corner. 644 00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:27,548 He's run into and checked. 645 00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:29,675 - Sorry. Take a second. - Tagged ya. 646 00:33:29,842 --> 00:33:31,260 - Tagged ya again. - Sorry, bud. 647 00:33:31,427 --> 00:33:33,113 Stop fuckin' saying sorry. I'm kickin' your ass, boy. 648 00:33:33,137 --> 00:33:34,888 Now Dupere digs the puck out of the corner. 649 00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:37,433 Moves into the back! He scores! 650 00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,143 (SPECTATORS BOO AND JEER) 651 00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:41,729 Whatever, man. I could have stopped that with your dick. 652 00:33:41,895 --> 00:33:43,605 And it is a 3-0 lead 653 00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,566 for Hamilton over Halifax. 654 00:33:46,608 --> 00:33:49,236 - (COUGHS) - Uppercut. 655 00:33:49,403 --> 00:33:50,446 ♪ Dare 656 00:33:50,612 --> 00:33:54,408 ♪ Dare to keep all your dreams alive... ♪ 657 00:33:54,575 --> 00:33:56,118 (SIGHS) 658 00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:58,370 ♪ It's time to take a stand... ♪ 659 00:33:58,537 --> 00:33:59,537 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 660 00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:01,874 The newest Highlander, Anders Cain, scores! 661 00:34:02,041 --> 00:34:03,041 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 662 00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:04,460 Brilliant individual effort 663 00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:06,253 by Anders Cain. 664 00:34:06,420 --> 00:34:08,464 Uh... uh... Keep it down, Dougie. 665 00:34:08,630 --> 00:34:10,966 For fuck's sake, how many times do I have to tell you? 666 00:34:11,133 --> 00:34:12,509 Just the left! 667 00:34:12,676 --> 00:34:14,178 (BLOWS THUD) 668 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,096 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 669 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:18,140 Put some heat on it, boy. 670 00:34:18,307 --> 00:34:20,809 There you go! That's the one I'm lookin' for. 671 00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:23,937 Here's Anders Cain. He scores! 672 00:34:24,104 --> 00:34:25,939 Anders Cain and... Uh-oh! 673 00:34:26,106 --> 00:34:28,901 Just like that, down goes Davinsky! 674 00:34:29,068 --> 00:34:30,068 Ah, Christ! 675 00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:31,862 And he'll head straight to the penalty box. 676 00:34:32,029 --> 00:34:33,447 Fuck you! 677 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,634 And now the... (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) 678 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:38,160 - Score! - Fuck! 679 00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:39,703 Ah. Damn it. 680 00:34:39,870 --> 00:34:41,514 JAMES : Well past the midpoint of the season, 681 00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,749 Cain and the Highlanders are their own worst enemies 682 00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:45,501 as they remain in the play-off bubble. 683 00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:47,211 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 684 00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:52,299 ♪ Dare... ♪ 685 00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:57,679 Yeah! You're workin' your ass off, kid. 686 00:34:57,846 --> 00:34:59,807 There's a ceiling on your skating, 687 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:02,333 and that left hand's never gonna be as strong as your right, 688 00:35:02,476 --> 00:35:04,520 but trust me, it'll fuck somebody up. 689 00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:08,148 Listen, Dougie, there's something you might wanna know. 690 00:35:08,315 --> 00:35:10,776 The shitshow's movin'. 691 00:35:10,943 --> 00:35:13,695 Next Bruised and Battered's gonna be at the MetroCentre. 692 00:35:15,114 --> 00:35:17,533 You want to be a Highlander, that's your ticket. 693 00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:19,326 There's your audition, boy. 694 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:20,869 Hyrum's gonna be watchin'. 695 00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,956 You can show him and everyone else you're still fucking here. 696 00:35:24,123 --> 00:35:25,874 What do you say? 697 00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,063 JAMES : While they keep finding ways to win, 698 00:35:30,087 --> 00:35:32,422 the Highlanders keep finding ways to lose too. 699 00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:34,069 Many are blaming the hot-and-cold play 700 00:35:34,133 --> 00:35:35,300 of Anders Cain, 701 00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:37,052 who sits 31st in scoring 702 00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:39,012 but leads the league in penalty minutes. 703 00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:41,974 We've dropped 8 of the last 10. 704 00:35:42,141 --> 00:35:44,061 We take penalties away, other teams change lines. 705 00:35:44,226 --> 00:35:47,312 - I'm trying. - What do I say? 706 00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:51,984 Don't fucking try. Fucking win. 707 00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:55,529 Wake them the fuck up, alright? 708 00:35:55,696 --> 00:35:57,447 Wake 'em the fuck up. Yes, sir. 709 00:35:57,614 --> 00:36:00,159 Good. 710 00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:02,578 Lead these guys. 711 00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:04,121 That tie is too short, Chad. 712 00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:06,999 Or I know exactly what the fuck I'm doing, James! 713 00:36:07,166 --> 00:36:08,542 Sports Desk - 714 00:36:08,709 --> 00:36:12,296 we know exactly what the fuck we're doing, James. 715 00:36:12,462 --> 00:36:13,922 EVA : Oh, my gosh. Thank God. 716 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:16,008 It feels so good to be out of the house, 717 00:36:16,175 --> 00:36:18,093 and I am so excited about this restaurant. 718 00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:22,139 Me and the baby are gonna eat the shit out of some pad thai. 719 00:36:22,306 --> 00:36:24,558 Oh, why are we taking the long way? It's not... 720 00:36:27,311 --> 00:36:28,478 (MEN LAUGH) 721 00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:31,148 Doug, do you want to go in and say a quick hello? 722 00:36:31,315 --> 00:36:33,596 Well, I'll be honest, I already ate and I'm already drunk, 723 00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:35,277 so the bar seems to make sense. 724 00:36:35,444 --> 00:36:37,029 For fuck's sake! 725 00:36:37,196 --> 00:36:39,448 Man, it feels like it was fuckin' yesterday 726 00:36:39,615 --> 00:36:42,075 that I was working here, 727 00:36:42,242 --> 00:36:44,161 bartender, boyfriend who played hockey. 728 00:36:44,328 --> 00:36:45,704 Yep. 729 00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:48,665 Now I'm pregnant and married to a guy who says we're a team, 730 00:36:48,832 --> 00:36:51,168 but he's always gone and feels he has to hide the fact 731 00:36:51,335 --> 00:36:52,711 that he eats hot dogs. 732 00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:55,255 What the fuck happened? Are we these people now? 733 00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:56,882 This is... this is who we are? 734 00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:59,426 Oh, yeah, that's us. You and me, baby. 735 00:36:59,593 --> 00:37:02,763 - No, me and... me and Doug are... - (SIGHS) I gotta take a piss. 736 00:37:02,930 --> 00:37:04,598 - OK. - I still got my jacket on. 737 00:37:04,765 --> 00:37:06,725 - (LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES) 738 00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:09,937 - Get me another beer. - Yep. 739 00:37:10,103 --> 00:37:11,939 So, Dougie, how's that new job going? 740 00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:14,608 Oh, it... it's so... fun. 741 00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:19,571 Yeah, there's... there's all these documents, you know? 742 00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:22,074 I get to bring a thermos to work, 743 00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:24,284 which keeps my food hot and cold. 744 00:37:24,451 --> 00:37:27,246 Sometimes I put hamburgers in there. 745 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:29,456 It's up to me. 746 00:37:30,624 --> 00:37:33,710 The way we're playing, we're all gonna need a new job soon. 747 00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:36,964 I suppose I could go back to Pentecostal summer camp 748 00:37:37,130 --> 00:37:38,840 with my cousin's boyfriend. 749 00:37:39,007 --> 00:37:42,177 I'm gonna have to move back with Mum. 750 00:37:42,344 --> 00:37:44,638 And don't get me wrong, I love her to bits, 751 00:37:44,805 --> 00:37:47,391 but that bedpan fills up fuckin' fast. 752 00:37:47,557 --> 00:37:51,019 I don't want to work at my uncle's eel farm. 753 00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:52,396 Mm-mm. 754 00:37:55,232 --> 00:37:57,609 I don't know how to do anything else. 755 00:38:00,988 --> 00:38:03,031 (SIGHS) 756 00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:06,118 Ah, you know, it's just a slump, boys. 757 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,704 It shall pass. 758 00:38:10,163 --> 00:38:11,540 Come on, get 'em in ya! 759 00:38:11,707 --> 00:38:13,583 - (GLASSES CLINK) - Mmm. 760 00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:18,880 All the drinks in this country taste like piss. 761 00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:21,717 It taste like a Cossack shit in my mouth. 762 00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:25,137 (SLURPS) Oh, that tastes like burps. 763 00:38:29,725 --> 00:38:32,853 (CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC) 764 00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:43,363 - Welcome home, kid. - Thanks. 765 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:46,158 Big night, eh? Everybody watchin'. 766 00:38:48,952 --> 00:38:50,329 Don't worry. You'll be fine. 767 00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:52,655 What poor bastard they got you matched up with tonight? 768 00:38:52,748 --> 00:38:55,542 Didn't they tell you? Format's been changed. 769 00:38:55,709 --> 00:38:57,169 Changed to what? 770 00:38:57,336 --> 00:38:59,212 ANNOUNCER : Ladies and gentlemen, 771 00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:01,298 the Bruised and Battered competition 772 00:39:01,465 --> 00:39:03,717 is proud to bring you tonight's special event - 773 00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:06,303 10 fighters, one rink, one fight 774 00:39:06,470 --> 00:39:09,139 in our first-ever battle royale! 775 00:39:09,306 --> 00:39:10,974 - Fuck him up! - Are you ready? 776 00:39:11,141 --> 00:39:13,226 (SUSPENSEFUL ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 777 00:39:13,393 --> 00:39:17,230 - Are you ready? - Really bad idea. 778 00:39:18,899 --> 00:39:20,776 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 779 00:39:23,236 --> 00:39:26,448 - (EXHALES SHARPLY) - (YELLS) 780 00:39:26,615 --> 00:39:28,533 - (YELLS) - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 781 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,328 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 782 00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:34,873 Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez! Oh, jeez! 783 00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:41,088 - Aarrgh! - Jesus Christ on a bike. 784 00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:43,298 - (BOTH GRUNT) - Fuck you, Glatt. 785 00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:54,434 (BLOWS SQUELCH) 786 00:39:57,979 --> 00:39:59,579 - What are we doing here? - I don't know. 787 00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:02,025 - I went to fuckin' Princeton. - (BLOWS THUD) 788 00:40:12,369 --> 00:40:14,037 You look like Super Mario. 789 00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:16,415 Hey, Andrew. (GRUNTS) 790 00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:22,170 My fuck, can he still bang. 791 00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:24,172 (GRUNTS) 792 00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:31,263 Come on, big guy. 793 00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:33,181 What are you, like, fuckin' 15 years old? 794 00:40:33,348 --> 00:40:35,559 (GRUNTS) 795 00:40:35,725 --> 00:40:37,352 (YELLS) 796 00:40:37,519 --> 00:40:39,104 (GRUNTS) 797 00:40:39,271 --> 00:40:40,790 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! 798 00:40:40,814 --> 00:40:43,733 Let him go. Let me go. Let me go. I'm the ref. 799 00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:45,652 Let me go! 800 00:40:47,404 --> 00:40:48,780 Fuck it. 801 00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:50,490 - (BLOW SQUELCHES) - (GRUNTS) 802 00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:55,162 - (PANTS) - (HIGH-PITCHED WHINE ECHOES) 803 00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,122 (SPITS) 804 00:40:57,289 --> 00:40:59,916 MAN : You're one tough motherfucker, Dougie! 805 00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:03,211 (SPECTATORS CHEER, APPLAUD) 806 00:41:14,931 --> 00:41:18,643 - Hey, kid. - Hi, sir. 807 00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:22,147 - You alright? - (LAUGHS) 808 00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:27,068 Yeah. I've been better. 809 00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:28,880 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 810 00:41:28,904 --> 00:41:30,280 ROSS : Ah, fuck. 811 00:41:30,447 --> 00:41:32,807 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 812 00:41:32,866 --> 00:41:35,118 Let's not reinvent the wheel here, eh? 813 00:41:35,285 --> 00:41:38,413 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! 814 00:41:38,580 --> 00:41:40,081 Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! 815 00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:43,835 Hey, wait. I got you, buddy. 816 00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:46,838 - (GRUNTS) - Maybe we should leave. 817 00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:49,674 - (SPECTATORS BOO AND JEER) - I got you. 818 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:53,053 (SPECTATORS BOO AND JEER) 819 00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:56,348 (SOLEMN MUSIC) 820 00:42:02,896 --> 00:42:06,733 Well, that was a fuckin' shitshow, eh? 821 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:10,862 Not exactly playing hockey, is it? 822 00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:18,036 Thanks, kid. You had my back out there. 823 00:42:18,203 --> 00:42:20,288 I owe you. 824 00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,874 (COUGHS, SPITS) 825 00:42:25,126 --> 00:42:27,462 Maybe I should take you to the doctor. 826 00:42:27,629 --> 00:42:29,047 What for? 827 00:42:29,214 --> 00:42:32,217 So he can tell me I got post-concussion syndrome? 828 00:42:32,384 --> 00:42:35,595 One more bad hit and you're done? 829 00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:37,305 It's not fuckin' soccer, Dougie. 830 00:42:37,472 --> 00:42:39,849 I've been hearing that shit for a decade now. 831 00:42:42,269 --> 00:42:44,354 That doesn't sound very good. 832 00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:49,276 You looked mean out there, kiddo. 833 00:42:49,442 --> 00:42:52,028 Young Anders better watch his ass. 834 00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,035 (CHUCKLES) 835 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:01,371 Lead these guys! Lead these guys! 836 00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:03,707 What would a leader do? What would a fuckin' leader do? 837 00:43:03,873 --> 00:43:07,043 Alright! Alright! Listen up! 838 00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:09,379 Captain speaking! Captain time! 839 00:43:09,546 --> 00:43:11,172 Off your fuckin' phone, LaFlamme. 840 00:43:11,339 --> 00:43:12,882 - Get off! - (WHISPERS) Turn it off. 841 00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:15,427 You turn the puck over in the neutral zone one more time 842 00:43:15,594 --> 00:43:17,794 and I'll teach you a fucking lesson you'll never forget. 843 00:43:17,846 --> 00:43:19,639 - Got it? - What the fuck you just say? 844 00:43:19,806 --> 00:43:21,683 And you KHL garbage bullshit, 845 00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:25,270 Ukrainian fuck Hockey League Chernobyl disaster fucks! 846 00:43:25,437 --> 00:43:27,856 You turn that fuckin' puck over one more time 847 00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:29,441 and I'll fuckin' kill both of you! 848 00:43:29,608 --> 00:43:30,984 - And you! - Yeah? 849 00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:34,487 Fuck, I don't even know. Fuck you! Fuck you! 850 00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,114 Hey! 851 00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:37,907 Be nice. 852 00:43:39,618 --> 00:43:41,161 What? 853 00:43:42,579 --> 00:43:46,291 Be nice. 854 00:43:48,168 --> 00:43:52,255 - (GRUNTS) - (WHIMPERS) 855 00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:56,259 Whoo! Whoo! Fuck, yeah! 856 00:43:56,426 --> 00:43:58,553 That's what I'm talking about! Sports! 857 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:00,096 You miss fucking Doug Glatt? 858 00:44:00,263 --> 00:44:03,933 You think he gives two fuckin' shits about you guys? 859 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:07,854 I care! I fucking care! We're gonna do this together! 860 00:44:08,021 --> 00:44:11,650 Highlanders on three! One, two, three! Highlanders! 861 00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:13,610 - My line starts! - (LAUGHS) 862 00:44:13,777 --> 00:44:16,321 See? He gets it! He fuckin' gets it! 863 00:44:16,488 --> 00:44:18,406 He smiles, he fuckin' gets it. 864 00:44:18,573 --> 00:44:22,369 Fuck! No! No more fucking candy! 865 00:44:22,535 --> 00:44:24,454 - (KISSES) - What the fuck?! 866 00:44:24,621 --> 00:44:29,334 - Holy shit! - (LAUGHS) 867 00:44:29,501 --> 00:44:31,169 (ENERGETIC DANCE MUSIC) 868 00:44:31,336 --> 00:44:33,056 - RED : Highlanders lead Newark... - Come on! 869 00:44:33,088 --> 00:44:35,465 ...1-0, thanks to a goal by Anders Cain. 870 00:44:35,632 --> 00:44:39,010 Anders Cain wants it badly. Shoves his own teammate aside. 871 00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:40,595 Now the captain awaits. 872 00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:42,722 Cain takes a good look up the ice. 873 00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:44,533 - Down the other end... - Oh, no, he's not... 874 00:44:44,557 --> 00:44:46,202 ...is LaFlamme hovering in the neutral zone. 875 00:44:46,226 --> 00:44:48,019 Cain now works it up. LaFlamme well ahead. 876 00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:49,562 - BOTH : No! - (GRUNTS) 877 00:44:49,729 --> 00:44:51,940 A suicide pass! LaFlamme is decked by Balacco. 878 00:44:52,107 --> 00:44:53,733 - Fuck! - Fuckin' cunt. 879 00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:56,486 Down on the ice is LaFlamme. He's spitting blood. 880 00:44:56,653 --> 00:44:59,698 Here's Cain and Stevenson going at the goal. 881 00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:01,449 - (PLAYERS GRUNT) - Anders Cain... 882 00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,159 What are you doing?! 883 00:45:03,326 --> 00:45:05,203 ...levels both the Newark goalie and Stevenson. 884 00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:06,788 - Fuck me. - (GRUNTS) 885 00:45:06,955 --> 00:45:08,540 Now Cain draws a crowd. 886 00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:11,710 Cain decks one, decks two, 887 00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,713 and Cain stood up to the world. 888 00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:17,590 Your kid finally got suspended, OK? 889 00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:19,801 - He's destroying this team. - What's that? 890 00:45:19,968 --> 00:45:22,721 - You heard me, you little shit. - Tread lightly, Ron. 891 00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:24,887 Hyrum, did you not see the same fuckin' hockey game 892 00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:26,349 that I saw last night? 893 00:45:26,516 --> 00:45:28,935 - Did you see that game? - Yeah. I did. I saw compete. 894 00:45:29,102 --> 00:45:30,812 It was misdirected, but I saw compete. 895 00:45:30,979 --> 00:45:32,355 The dressing room's in the shitter. 896 00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:34,882 It's tighter than a nun's cunt in there. There's no chatter. 897 00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:36,919 The boys feel like they're on the chopping block. 898 00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:38,778 They need someone to pull them together, 899 00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,822 and time after time after time, 900 00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:42,429 he's proven he's not the fuckin' guy. 901 00:45:42,532 --> 00:45:44,784 Oh, what, so it's my fault the fucking amateur hour... 902 00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:46,494 Anders. 903 00:45:50,832 --> 00:45:52,375 What about Doug? 904 00:45:52,542 --> 00:45:56,463 - Doug. Doug? - Maybe I was wrong about him. 905 00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:59,090 I saw him at the shitshow the other night. 906 00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,801 - He looked mean. - What, really? 907 00:46:01,968 --> 00:46:03,344 - Yeah. - We thought he was done. 908 00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,221 Yeah, 'cause I fuckin' made him done. 909 00:46:05,388 --> 00:46:06,848 Alright, alright, 910 00:46:07,015 --> 00:46:10,059 well, then maybe we bring him back to practice, eh? 911 00:46:10,226 --> 00:46:13,229 - GORD : Give him a shot. - See if he's got what it takes. 912 00:46:13,396 --> 00:46:14,898 But we saw what he did to him, 913 00:46:15,064 --> 00:46:16,709 so what's that dressing room gonna look like 914 00:46:16,733 --> 00:46:18,109 with him and Glatt in it? 915 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:21,154 - I think we should find out. - Fuck me! 916 00:46:21,321 --> 00:46:24,532 Fuck you then, 'cause we're doing it. 917 00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:27,452 ('MINSTREL GYPSY' BY KIM BERLY) 918 00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:42,008 ♪ Baby, it's nice to have you here right now 919 00:46:42,175 --> 00:46:44,928 ♪ Baby, it's nice to feel you near... ♪ 920 00:46:45,094 --> 00:46:47,722 Oh, my lordy! It's Doug! 921 00:46:49,432 --> 00:46:51,351 Jesus, Stevie, you fell in the garbage! 922 00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:53,686 - I'm OK. (CHUCKLES) - Welcome back, Dougie! 923 00:46:53,853 --> 00:46:56,231 - Welcome home, Dougie! - Welcome home, Doug. 924 00:46:56,397 --> 00:46:58,149 Thanks, bud. 925 00:46:59,901 --> 00:47:02,195 - MAN : Now we're talking! - MAN 2 : Fuckin' right. 926 00:47:02,362 --> 00:47:04,447 OK, boys... 927 00:47:06,574 --> 00:47:08,117 ...this is a big day. 928 00:47:08,284 --> 00:47:09,964 First off, we're gonna welcome back Dougie. 929 00:47:09,994 --> 00:47:12,163 We're gonna see if he's fit enough to play, alright? 930 00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:14,249 (PLAYERS CHEER) 931 00:47:14,415 --> 00:47:16,209 Thank you, guys. 932 00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:19,212 I'm so happy to be back here and have a chance to... 933 00:47:20,255 --> 00:47:21,756 ...be back here? 934 00:47:21,923 --> 00:47:23,299 That's good. 935 00:47:23,466 --> 00:47:26,886 OK, I'm so fuckin' excited to tell you this. 936 00:47:27,053 --> 00:47:28,763 Favourite part of the practice for me. 937 00:47:28,930 --> 00:47:32,267 - Puke time. Suicides. - Let's give her! 938 00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:35,311 - Lace 'em up! Lace 'em up! - Man of iron. 939 00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:40,567 - Jew of iron. - Sorry I smell like garbage. 940 00:47:40,733 --> 00:47:43,403 - See you out there. - So glad to see you, man. 941 00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:46,072 I totally thought you were transitioning. 942 00:47:50,577 --> 00:47:52,120 You're not home. 943 00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:57,000 Your fuckin' jersey, you idiot. You're not home. 944 00:48:06,968 --> 00:48:09,262 You shouldn't have come back, Doug. 945 00:48:11,180 --> 00:48:12,891 You shouldn't have come back. 946 00:48:18,021 --> 00:48:19,898 They gave you my C. 947 00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:24,193 I think you gave me your C, bud. 948 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:28,406 Captain doesn't cheap shot, doesn't try to end careers. 949 00:48:29,449 --> 00:48:30,825 You think you're a hockey player. 950 00:48:30,992 --> 00:48:34,078 That's fuckin' funny. (CHUCKLES) 951 00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:36,539 (MENACING MUSIC) 952 00:48:39,334 --> 00:48:44,631 See, Doug, I just do whatever my team needs me to do. 953 00:48:50,929 --> 00:48:52,680 - See you out there, bud. - (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 954 00:48:52,847 --> 00:48:55,475 You look good. Your face looks better. 955 00:48:57,185 --> 00:49:01,439 OK, lads, some of youse have a little rust. 956 00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:04,692 We're gonna work some of that rust off right fuckin' now, OK? 957 00:49:04,859 --> 00:49:06,339 We're gonna play some shutdown hockey. 958 00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:07,779 Let's keep it clean, fellas. 959 00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:09,280 You're all on the same team here. 960 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,199 - OK? - (DOOR OPENS) 961 00:49:11,366 --> 00:49:12,909 (ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC) 962 00:49:13,076 --> 00:49:15,703 - Jesus fuckin' Christ. - Don't mind me. 963 00:49:15,870 --> 00:49:19,916 - We won't. Let's go! - (PLAYERS SPEAK INDISTINCTLY) 964 00:49:25,338 --> 00:49:26,506 (GRUNTS) 965 00:49:28,341 --> 00:49:30,385 Move your feet, boy! Move your feet! 966 00:49:31,928 --> 00:49:35,181 - (RONNIE SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) - Move it! 967 00:49:35,348 --> 00:49:37,350 Keep your head up! Keep your head up! 968 00:49:38,434 --> 00:49:41,020 - Oh! - Goddamn it! Fucking shit... 969 00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:44,857 - Come on! - Eh? 970 00:49:48,194 --> 00:49:50,113 - (GRUNTS) - Nice, Dougie. 971 00:49:50,279 --> 00:49:51,906 - Good job! - Come on! Help me out! 972 00:49:52,949 --> 00:49:54,575 - Yeah! - (PLAYERS CHEER) 973 00:49:54,742 --> 00:49:56,786 - Yeah! - The old boys are lookin' good. 974 00:49:56,953 --> 00:49:58,079 Fuck! 975 00:50:00,873 --> 00:50:02,083 - Nice, Dougie! - Whoo! 976 00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:04,877 - Fuck! - Next goal wins. 977 00:50:05,044 --> 00:50:08,214 Fuck 'next goal wins'. What is this, street hockey? 978 00:50:08,381 --> 00:50:10,675 - Car! - Let's get 'em, Anders! Hustle! 979 00:50:10,842 --> 00:50:12,969 Let's go! Let's go! 980 00:50:13,136 --> 00:50:14,512 - (GRUNTS) - Anders, work! 981 00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:16,639 - They're making you look bad! - Game on! 982 00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:18,766 Mum's got hot chocolate at our place after. 983 00:50:18,933 --> 00:50:21,394 Loser brings an orange ball from Canadian Tire! 984 00:50:21,561 --> 00:50:22,937 'Next goal wins' is a thing. 985 00:50:23,104 --> 00:50:24,605 That's... that's not just road hockey. 986 00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,315 That's... that's... That is a thing. 987 00:50:27,734 --> 00:50:28,985 Whoo! 988 00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:30,528 Hey, hey, hey! Hey! 989 00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:32,613 Come on. You gonna fucking turtle on me? 990 00:50:32,780 --> 00:50:34,407 - Hey! - Come on, Dougie. Round two. 991 00:50:34,574 --> 00:50:36,242 Puck's at your feet! Play to the whistle! 992 00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:38,369 - Come on, Dougie. Come on. - Dougie, here! 993 00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:40,747 - Move the puck! - What the fuck? 994 00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:44,000 - Yes! - (PLAYERS CHEER) 995 00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:46,753 There you go! Next goal wins it, right? 996 00:50:50,131 --> 00:50:52,216 - Fuck! - Jesus Christ, man. 997 00:50:54,093 --> 00:50:56,846 Hey, Hyrum, what kind of marshmallows do you like? 998 00:50:57,013 --> 00:50:59,515 - Go fuck yourself. - Boys, bring it in. 999 00:50:59,682 --> 00:51:03,269 Better. Good hustle, eh? 1000 00:51:03,436 --> 00:51:07,482 Good hustle. Heart. That's what it takes to win. 1001 00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,248 You guys are getting first shift tonight. 1002 00:51:09,317 --> 00:51:11,652 Belchy, you nut, don't wander. 1003 00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:13,654 - You're startin'. - Fuckin' right, coach. 1004 00:51:13,821 --> 00:51:16,616 - It's Canadian fuckin' hockey. - OK. 1005 00:51:16,783 --> 00:51:18,993 Dougie, welcome back, son. 1006 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:20,679 - (HOCKEY STICKS CLACK) - Welcome back. 1007 00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:22,789 - Come on. - Good stuff, boys! 1008 00:51:23,915 --> 00:51:27,210 (WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.) 1009 00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:30,129 Doug, where were you? 1010 00:51:30,296 --> 00:51:32,465 - They called our names to go in. - I'm sorry, Eva. 1011 00:51:32,632 --> 00:51:35,259 I'll explain when I'm less sweaty. 1012 00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:38,930 Hey, Triceratops! That's my favourite dinosaur. 1013 00:51:40,098 --> 00:51:42,350 Remember how I keep saying that work is fun 1014 00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:44,143 and there's all these documents? 1015 00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:45,686 Well, that's, like, only half true, 1016 00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:48,689 because it's not fun at all. 1017 00:51:48,856 --> 00:51:50,525 I just don't think that the insurance bug 1018 00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:53,069 has truly laid its eggs inside of me. 1019 00:51:54,779 --> 00:51:56,155 OK. 1020 00:51:56,322 --> 00:52:02,245 So, I mean, who said you had to sell insurance? 1021 00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:03,955 I never told you that. 1022 00:52:05,373 --> 00:52:08,209 And I only got you those bloody business cards 1023 00:52:08,376 --> 00:52:10,294 because I was trying to be cute or some shit. 1024 00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:12,964 The Highlanders still need me. 1025 00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:20,513 But we're supposed to be doing this together, like a team. 1026 00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:25,309 Neither of us are just making decisions for ourselves anymore. 1027 00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:26,978 A lot of shit affects both of us. 1028 00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:28,563 (OBSTETRICIAN CLEARS THROAT) 1029 00:52:28,729 --> 00:52:31,858 (FOETAL HEARTBEAT GURGLES) 1030 00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:39,031 Look at her. Look at what we did. 1031 00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:40,198 Yeah. 1032 00:52:40,324 --> 00:52:43,953 She looks like a beautiful tiny mushroom person. 1033 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,038 She's so cool. 1034 00:52:46,205 --> 00:52:48,374 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1035 00:52:50,585 --> 00:52:51,961 Just... 1036 00:52:52,128 --> 00:52:55,548 It was different watching you beat the piss out of guys 1037 00:52:55,715 --> 00:52:57,091 before I actually knew you. 1038 00:52:57,258 --> 00:52:59,969 I mean, I fuckin' loved it, obviously. 1039 00:53:00,136 --> 00:53:03,014 Part of what made me dig you in the first place. 1040 00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:07,059 But the fucking very moment I fell in love with you, 1041 00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:09,353 it got scary. 1042 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:14,400 Now you're my husband and we've got... 1043 00:53:17,570 --> 00:53:21,782 - This is big shit, Doug. - I know it is. 1044 00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:26,746 I love you, and if you want to do something, 1045 00:53:26,913 --> 00:53:29,999 then I'm with you... 1046 00:53:31,459 --> 00:53:35,463 ...but I can't be scared shitless every time you go out there. 1047 00:53:35,630 --> 00:53:37,423 So, what I mean is, 1048 00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:39,634 if you want to be a Highlander again, 1049 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,595 then go and be a Highlander again. 1050 00:53:42,762 --> 00:53:44,263 I'll support you, 1051 00:53:44,430 --> 00:53:47,725 but you have to do one thing for me. 1052 00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:50,561 I would do anything for you, Eva. 1053 00:53:51,812 --> 00:53:53,856 Don't fight. 1054 00:53:55,691 --> 00:53:57,109 What? 1055 00:53:57,276 --> 00:54:01,155 I've seen you make hits and kill penalties 1056 00:54:01,322 --> 00:54:03,991 and block shots with your face. 1057 00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:08,704 I'm trying, but you gotta meet me halfway and... 1058 00:54:09,956 --> 00:54:11,540 ...and not fight. 1059 00:54:15,253 --> 00:54:17,380 You're more than that. 1060 00:54:19,131 --> 00:54:23,010 - OK. - Thank you, Doug. 1061 00:54:24,428 --> 00:54:25,972 Thank you, Eva. 1062 00:54:29,892 --> 00:54:33,187 (SIGHS) Come on, you can't quit on me now. 1063 00:54:33,354 --> 00:54:34,730 What about all our adventures? 1064 00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:37,358 Remember that one time I thought you had a watch? 1065 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:41,153 God, you're just gonna throw that away? 1066 00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,030 I'm sorry, Bob Forbes. 1067 00:54:43,197 --> 00:54:45,616 I don't know anything about documents. 1068 00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:47,159 What, do you think I do? 1069 00:54:47,326 --> 00:54:48,703 God, somebody gives me a document 1070 00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:50,788 and I go, "Mmm, err," give it to another guy. 1071 00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:52,581 That's how insurance works! 1072 00:54:52,748 --> 00:54:54,750 Goddamn it! 1073 00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:56,752 (SIGHS) 1074 00:54:56,919 --> 00:54:59,630 Well, can't say I'm not sad to see you go, 1075 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:02,633 but if you change your mind, just know you always got a spot 1076 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,469 here in the storage shed, Dennis. 1077 00:55:06,512 --> 00:55:08,472 He's... he's staying? No, he's going. Shit. 1078 00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,266 Argh! 1079 00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:14,729 Always driving away the ones you love. 1080 00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:17,690 Yeah, that ought to hold. 1081 00:55:17,857 --> 00:55:19,650 Jesus Christ. 1082 00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:22,194 (GRUNTS) 1083 00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:25,323 ('HEY HEY GUY' BY KEN LASZLO) 1084 00:55:25,489 --> 00:55:27,033 (MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES) 1085 00:55:34,957 --> 00:55:38,169 - Hey. How's your arm? - Good, thank you. 1086 00:55:38,336 --> 00:55:39,879 How's your arm? 1087 00:55:41,464 --> 00:55:44,216 Listen, um, everybody's rusty their first game. 1088 00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:45,926 It's OK, OK? 1089 00:55:46,093 --> 00:55:47,386 (CLICKS TONGUE) 1090 00:55:51,057 --> 00:55:54,602 What the fuck? Belchy. 1091 00:55:54,769 --> 00:55:56,228 Belchy! 1092 00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,607 We are very much happy you are playing again. 1093 00:55:59,774 --> 00:56:01,650 This is our gift to you. 1094 00:56:01,817 --> 00:56:03,194 Sandwich. 1095 00:56:03,361 --> 00:56:06,072 This is you upon receipt of sandwich. 1096 00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:07,865 - Smiley? - Mm-hmm. 1097 00:56:08,032 --> 00:56:11,160 Happy cartoon, huh? 1098 00:56:12,370 --> 00:56:14,747 Fuckin' A, man. That feels fuckin' right. 1099 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:16,290 We needed this, man. 1100 00:56:16,457 --> 00:56:17,833 You two fuckin' buffoons 1101 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:19,600 are standing there with your giant dicks. 1102 00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:21,629 I mean, that's a fuckin' sturgeon, man. 1103 00:56:21,796 --> 00:56:23,255 - Jesus Christ! - (GASPS) 1104 00:56:23,422 --> 00:56:25,662 I always think you're gonna fuckin' prank me or whatever, 1105 00:56:25,758 --> 00:56:28,803 or you're gonna say your shit about my fuckin' mom, which... 1106 00:56:28,969 --> 00:56:32,264 No, no, no, no, no. We respect your mother now. 1107 00:56:32,431 --> 00:56:35,935 She's becoming very open-minded. 1108 00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:38,396 Yeah, man. Alright. She's been working on that. 1109 00:56:38,562 --> 00:56:42,400 Big cream pie, pearl fucking necklace... 1110 00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:46,737 Golden showers, double penetration. 1111 00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,864 - Uh-huh! - Double penetration. 1112 00:56:49,031 --> 00:56:51,033 No butt, just vagina. 1113 00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,120 - Two penis, one hole. - Yes. 1114 00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:59,333 Warm, worm kisses deep inside your mother. 1115 00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:02,086 - Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! - (BOTH GRUNT) 1116 00:57:02,253 --> 00:57:05,548 The fuck is that? Warm worm? Fuck you two, man! 1117 00:57:05,714 --> 00:57:08,175 You understand, we are brothers. 1118 00:57:08,342 --> 00:57:10,636 We power-fuck your mother. 1119 00:57:10,803 --> 00:57:12,843 You know, I'm an idiot for fucking even trusting you 1120 00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:15,558 for a second, you Ruskie fuckin' pricks! 1121 00:57:15,724 --> 00:57:17,518 The best revenge is living well. 1122 00:57:17,685 --> 00:57:19,728 I'm not stooping to your fuckin' level. 1123 00:57:20,855 --> 00:57:23,315 - The mayonnaise is semen. - (SPITS) What? 1124 00:57:23,482 --> 00:57:27,611 - Semen. - You know, ejaculate. 1125 00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:30,948 JAMES : Doug Glatt is a Highlander once more. 1126 00:57:31,115 --> 00:57:32,783 With just a quarter of the season left, 1127 00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:35,870 Hyrum Cain seems to be trying a hail Mary move 1128 00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:37,997 by bringing back a man known for his fists 1129 00:57:38,164 --> 00:57:39,832 and, frankly, not much else. 1130 00:57:39,999 --> 00:57:40,999 No. 1131 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,711 Considering this will be Glatt's first hockey game 1132 00:57:43,878 --> 00:57:45,713 since being knocked out by his now teammate, 1133 00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:47,339 the currently suspended Anders Cain, 1134 00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:49,884 this should make for an interesting locker room dynamic 1135 00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:53,053 and even more awkward Cain family Boxing Day. 1136 00:57:53,220 --> 00:57:56,891 I mean, that household is a fucking disaster. 1137 00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:59,643 - Just read the prompter, man. - No. 1138 00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:02,688 I say what I want, James, because I got a pair of balls, 1139 00:58:02,855 --> 00:58:04,231 not two pieces of pussy. 1140 00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:05,900 How long is this gonna happen for? 1141 00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:07,443 For as long as it takes. 1142 00:58:07,610 --> 00:58:10,237 Sports Desk - we'll take as long as it takes. 1143 00:58:10,404 --> 00:58:12,364 (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SQUEALS) 1144 00:58:12,531 --> 00:58:15,409 Sports Desk - fuck, yeah. 1145 00:58:16,911 --> 00:58:18,329 - Alright. OK. - Ha! 1146 00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:21,540 - Fuck it. - Off the belly. In the ear! 1147 00:58:21,707 --> 00:58:23,477 - EVA : Alright, no. - RED : Doug 'The Thug' Glatt. 1148 00:58:23,501 --> 00:58:25,669 Doug with that big dick. 1149 00:58:26,962 --> 00:58:29,048 - Too much? - It's not... 1150 00:58:29,215 --> 00:58:32,885 ...the Halifax faithful hoping 'The Thug' can do his part 1151 00:58:33,052 --> 00:58:35,137 to get them back to the play-offs. 1152 00:58:35,304 --> 00:58:37,681 So, the St John's Shamrocks. 1153 00:58:37,848 --> 00:58:39,683 The Shamrocks breaking out of their own zone. 1154 00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,661 - Here's the pass up the wing. - (IMPACT THUDS) 1155 00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:42,685 Oh, baby! 1156 00:58:42,770 --> 00:58:44,438 Doug Glatt's return 1157 00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:48,859 continues to electrify his crowd and his team. 1158 00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:50,986 St John's still with a man advantage. 1159 00:58:51,153 --> 00:58:52,753 LaFlamme getting up, getting ready to go, 1160 00:58:52,821 --> 00:58:55,699 Anders Cain, no help tonight as he has been suspended. 1161 00:58:57,201 --> 00:58:59,745 Five seconds to go on the St John's power play, 1162 00:58:59,912 --> 00:59:01,539 and somehow Halifax has been able 1163 00:59:01,705 --> 00:59:03,499 to keep this game tied at zero. 1164 00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:05,209 Now LaFlamme steps out on the ice. 1165 00:59:05,376 --> 00:59:06,585 Halifax with the heat on. 1166 00:59:06,752 --> 00:59:08,170 Carlson looking back, 1167 00:59:08,337 --> 00:59:10,047 takes the puck at the blue line. 1168 00:59:10,214 --> 00:59:14,301 Now Carlson, he's got a cannon! He winds it up. 1169 00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:16,136 (PUCK WHOOSHES) 1170 00:59:16,303 --> 00:59:19,014 Oh, everyone, check your asses for monkeys. 1171 00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,100 Xavier LaFlamme blocking a shot? 1172 00:59:21,267 --> 00:59:23,227 Now we go to Stevenson. 1173 00:59:23,394 --> 00:59:25,354 Stevenson moves down deep into the corner. 1174 00:59:26,397 --> 00:59:28,597 Oh, growing out a moustache, you little bitch, huh? Huh? 1175 00:59:30,526 --> 00:59:33,487 I'm so exhausted! Gatorade! 1176 00:59:33,654 --> 00:59:37,157 And now Glatt decides, "Well, I'm a little thirsty." 1177 00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:39,118 Sorry. Pardon. I'm super thirsty. 1178 00:59:39,285 --> 00:59:41,537 Meanwhile, Stevenson comes out of the corner. 1179 00:59:41,704 --> 00:59:44,498 - He scores! - (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1180 00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:48,127 - He took my fuckin' bottle... - Yeah! 1181 00:59:48,294 --> 00:59:49,920 Well, I suppose there's no rule 1182 00:59:50,087 --> 00:59:52,172 about drinking the opposing team's Gatorade, 1183 00:59:52,339 --> 00:59:55,009 but perhaps after tonight, there should be. 1184 00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:57,219 (LAUGHS) You stole his Gatorade, man! 1185 00:59:57,386 --> 00:59:59,388 He's so mad! 1186 00:59:59,555 --> 01:00:02,308 Highlanders win thanks to the unquenchable thirst 1187 01:00:02,474 --> 01:00:04,852 of a man they call 'The Thug'. 1188 01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:12,067 Good for you, kid. 1189 01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:16,822 Good for you. 1190 01:00:19,074 --> 01:00:20,743 Boys, 1191 01:00:20,909 --> 01:00:23,162 got a little heat going now, right? 1192 01:00:23,329 --> 01:00:25,372 So we're all gonna take that heat into Reading 1193 01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:28,000 and we're gonna burn their fuckin' flesh off 1194 01:00:28,167 --> 01:00:30,377 like fuckin' flamethrowers! 1195 01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:31,544 - Sir? - Yes? 1196 01:00:31,670 --> 01:00:33,047 OK, for the last time, 1197 01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:37,051 I'm gonna have to ask you to lower your voice, OK? Just... 1198 01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:38,844 Sweetie, take that for me, would you? 1199 01:00:39,011 --> 01:00:41,411 Uh, no, not in first class, so I don't take your... anything. 1200 01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:43,158 - Alrighty. Sit down? - Just have a seat there. 1201 01:00:43,182 --> 01:00:44,975 Yes, sir. That would be wonderful. 1202 01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:48,228 Thank you very much. And if you could just remain seated. 1203 01:00:48,395 --> 01:00:50,439 - (GROANING) - Oh for fuck's sake! 1204 01:00:50,606 --> 01:00:53,233 - (LIQUID TRICKLES) - (GRUNTS) Hey, Belchy! 1205 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:57,821 Come see! This toilet looks just like your mother. 1206 01:00:57,988 --> 01:01:01,075 (GRUNTS) Only markedly less toilet-like. 1207 01:01:01,241 --> 01:01:02,618 (BOTH GROAN) 1208 01:01:02,785 --> 01:01:06,246 Oh, my God, you guys are... Get the fuck out of here, man. 1209 01:01:06,413 --> 01:01:08,832 - (BOTH LAUGH) - WOMAN : Disgusting. 1210 01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,710 (WHISPERS) Hey. I'm not done. 1211 01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:13,754 - What... - No. 1212 01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:16,256 (WHISPERS) She said no. 1213 01:01:16,423 --> 01:01:18,258 We're gonna skate in there 1214 01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:22,012 and we're gonna show those translucent Rust Belt weirdos 1215 01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,597 how we play hock... 1216 01:01:23,764 --> 01:01:24,765 I swear. 1217 01:01:24,932 --> 01:01:26,308 (WHISPERS) ..north of the border. 1218 01:01:26,475 --> 01:01:29,228 - (MUTED CHEERS) - (WHISPERS) Highlanders. 1219 01:01:29,395 --> 01:01:31,355 (SNAPS) Highlanders. 1220 01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:34,733 (ALL WHISPER) Highlanders. Highlanders. 1221 01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:37,152 OK, but that is still making us uncomfortable. 1222 01:01:37,319 --> 01:01:41,281 (ALL WHISPER) Highlanders. Highlanders. Highlanders. 1223 01:01:41,448 --> 01:01:45,703 - Highlanders. Highlanders. - Wow, it smells like dick. 1224 01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:49,331 (WHISPERS) Highlanders. Highlanders. Highlanders. 1225 01:01:49,498 --> 01:01:50,874 Stay in school. 1226 01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:52,418 (WHISPERS) Highlanders. 1227 01:01:52,584 --> 01:01:53,984 RED : Three minutes left in the third 1228 01:01:54,128 --> 01:01:56,922 and the Highlanders' hot streak is in danger of ending, 1229 01:01:57,089 --> 01:01:59,049 as they trail the Wolfdogs 3 to 2. 1230 01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:00,926 A win tonight would see them 1231 01:02:01,093 --> 01:02:02,845 just one spot outside play-offs contention. 1232 01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:05,305 All my uncles are dead! 1233 01:02:05,472 --> 01:02:07,057 Anders Cain looks in front, turns... 1234 01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:09,143 Oh, Waxman's... (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) 1235 01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:13,355 Cain scores! And it's tied 3-3. 1236 01:02:13,522 --> 01:02:17,109 Great goal by Anders Cain to keep the dream alive. 1237 01:02:17,276 --> 01:02:18,920 They're gonna be throwing everything at us now 1238 01:02:18,944 --> 01:02:20,446 but the kitchen sink. 1239 01:02:20,612 --> 01:02:22,072 LaFlamme, do what you did last game. 1240 01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:24,575 Stevesy, take his lead. 1241 01:02:24,742 --> 01:02:26,577 Yeah, yeah. Dougie, listen to me. 1242 01:02:26,744 --> 01:02:29,025 You watch their backs, keep your head in the fuckin' game. 1243 01:02:29,121 --> 01:02:31,206 Handle big man. You see him? Send him a message. 1244 01:02:31,373 --> 01:02:33,250 Wake him up, Doug. Go, go, go. 1245 01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:35,669 Don't go starting shit you can't finish. 1246 01:02:35,836 --> 01:02:38,630 Coach Ronnie Hortense had a few words for Doug Glatt 1247 01:02:38,797 --> 01:02:41,049 who hasn't fought since he came back two weeks ago, 1248 01:02:41,216 --> 01:02:44,136 and he goes straight toward Totan. 1249 01:02:44,303 --> 01:02:46,305 - You are bumping me. - Mount Totan. 1250 01:02:46,472 --> 01:02:49,183 - You're so enormous. - (SNARLS) 1251 01:02:49,349 --> 01:02:50,642 Oy vey! 1252 01:02:52,269 --> 01:02:55,105 Off the faceoff, the puck goes back into the Wolfdog zone. 1253 01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:57,566 Now it's sent off to centre ice, turned over by LaFlamme. 1254 01:02:57,733 --> 01:02:59,610 LaFlamme looks across, finds Stevenson. 1255 01:02:59,777 --> 01:03:02,529 Stevenson dumps it deep into the Wolfdog territory. 1256 01:03:02,696 --> 01:03:04,156 The puck goes around now to Totan. 1257 01:03:04,323 --> 01:03:06,074 MAN : Here we go! 1258 01:03:06,241 --> 01:03:09,745 Here comes Glatt right at Totan! 1259 01:03:09,912 --> 01:03:11,914 - (IMPACT SMACKS) - Oh, and he misses completely! 1260 01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:13,332 Fuck. Shit. 1261 01:03:13,499 --> 01:03:15,959 It looks like he's in pain on his right side. 1262 01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,126 (GRUNTS) 1263 01:03:17,169 --> 01:03:18,889 Starting the other way, the Reading Wolfdogs 1264 01:03:19,046 --> 01:03:21,423 with an opportunity for the go-ahead goal. 1265 01:03:21,590 --> 01:03:23,926 The puck is brought in across the blue line. 1266 01:03:25,093 --> 01:03:27,679 - He scores! - Fuck! 1267 01:03:27,846 --> 01:03:29,348 - Reading win! - Fuck! 1268 01:03:29,515 --> 01:03:31,391 And with just 10 games left in the season, 1269 01:03:31,558 --> 01:03:33,352 the Highlanders seem to have found a way 1270 01:03:33,519 --> 01:03:36,146 to rescue defeat from the jaws of victory. 1271 01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:37,689 Way to go, Dougie! 1272 01:03:37,856 --> 01:03:39,733 Come on, Doug. 1273 01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:43,987 BELCHIOR : I don't wanna hear it. Let's go. Let's fuckin' go. 1274 01:03:44,154 --> 01:03:45,781 Beth! Beth, get in the car. 1275 01:03:45,948 --> 01:03:48,492 You better not have drank milk today, you fuckin' lactose... 1276 01:03:48,659 --> 01:03:50,202 BELCHIOR : Come on! 1277 01:03:54,206 --> 01:03:57,376 - Did you watch the game? - Yeah. 1278 01:03:57,543 --> 01:03:59,253 (SIGHS) 1279 01:03:59,419 --> 01:04:01,713 You said it could be scary watching me out there. 1280 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:03,549 Was it scary? 1281 01:04:04,842 --> 01:04:07,094 I mean, I don't like watching you get hurt, 1282 01:04:07,261 --> 01:04:09,346 so, yeah, a little. 1283 01:04:10,597 --> 01:04:11,974 - Ah! - Oh, God! Jesus! 1284 01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:13,892 - Are you OK? - Yeah. 1285 01:04:18,939 --> 01:04:21,316 M-Maybe you shouldn't watch the next one. 1286 01:04:23,527 --> 01:04:26,822 Yeah. Alright. 1287 01:04:26,989 --> 01:04:31,076 MATTHEW GOOD : ♪ Insane I wake up 1288 01:04:31,243 --> 01:04:35,289 ♪ The oars I take up... ♪ 1289 01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:37,583 (ENGINE STARTS) 1290 01:04:37,749 --> 01:04:39,585 RED : Halfway through the third, 1291 01:04:39,751 --> 01:04:41,729 the Highlanders are fighting for their post-season lives 1292 01:04:41,753 --> 01:04:43,422 on fan appreciation night. 1293 01:04:43,589 --> 01:04:45,509 - A shot blocked by LaFlamme. - Attaboy, Flammer! 1294 01:04:45,591 --> 01:04:47,217 What a contribution he's made. 1295 01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:49,428 Now LaFlamme sees Walters coming. 1296 01:04:49,595 --> 01:04:53,056 And Walters sucker-punched him, but he gets up. 1297 01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:55,851 - He appears to be alright. - Lift your fuckin' arm, ref! 1298 01:04:56,018 --> 01:04:58,270 McBain player Walters is sent to the penalty box. 1299 01:04:59,771 --> 01:05:01,857 And he is none too impressed. 1300 01:05:06,445 --> 01:05:08,447 - Fuck! - You OK? 1301 01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:10,365 Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks. 1302 01:05:10,532 --> 01:05:12,910 OK, now we're gonna take this fuckin' power play, 1303 01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,054 and we're gonna shove it up their fuckin' sphincters! 1304 01:05:15,078 --> 01:05:16,288 No K-Y. 1305 01:05:16,455 --> 01:05:17,873 And when we're done with that, 1306 01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,043 and that ugly piece of shit gets out of that fuckin' box, 1307 01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:23,086 we'll give 'em a piece of our mind, OK? 1308 01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:26,340 I can do that, sir. I can give 'em a piece of all our minds. 1309 01:05:26,506 --> 01:05:29,718 No, he fuckin' can't. His arm's all fucked up. 1310 01:05:29,885 --> 01:05:31,637 I'm fine. I can do this. 1311 01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,805 You can't fuckin' fight anybody. 1312 01:05:33,972 --> 01:05:36,475 Jesus Christ, boys. What... what's going on? 1313 01:05:36,642 --> 01:05:40,020 - (GRUNTS) - Not now, kiddo. Not now. 1314 01:05:42,731 --> 01:05:45,484 Anders Cain is coming right across... 1315 01:05:45,651 --> 01:05:47,277 - Yeah? You wanna go? - Yeah, come on. 1316 01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:48,820 Yeah, anytime, tough guy! 1317 01:05:48,987 --> 01:05:50,447 I'll fuckin' go right on 1318 01:05:50,614 --> 01:05:52,258 and knock your fuckin' teeth down your throat. 1319 01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:53,659 - Come on! - Yeah, bring it on! 1320 01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:56,025 I'll tear your fuckin' head off like a cured meat stick! 1321 01:05:56,161 --> 01:05:58,306 - RONNIE : Stevesy, you're up. - You're a fuckin' meat stick! 1322 01:05:58,330 --> 01:06:00,916 And now there's action over at the Highlander bench. 1323 01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:02,626 - And here comes Doug Glatt. - Glatt! 1324 01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:04,169 - Hortense calls him back. - Glatt! 1325 01:06:04,336 --> 01:06:05,796 - Get back here! - Uh-oh! 1326 01:06:05,963 --> 01:06:09,383 We may finally see 'The Thug' drop his gloves after all. 1327 01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:11,301 Anytime. Oh, you too? 1328 01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:12,844 What the fuck are you doing here? 1329 01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:14,656 - What are you doing here? - I'm here to... 1330 01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:16,723 And now both Glatt and Cain push and shove. 1331 01:06:16,890 --> 01:06:18,558 What the fuck do you mean, you're here? 1332 01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:20,978 - I'll fuck both you guys up! - It's mine! 1333 01:06:21,144 --> 01:06:22,144 Whoa! Fuck! 1334 01:06:22,270 --> 01:06:24,648 And down goes Cain with Glatt on top! 1335 01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:26,608 - What am I lookin' at? - Fuck! 1336 01:06:26,775 --> 01:06:28,986 - What the fuck is this?! - I don't know. I don't know. 1337 01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:31,738 I don't even wanna fight anymore. You killed the mood. 1338 01:06:31,905 --> 01:06:33,824 Dougie, why are you dry-humping Anders? 1339 01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:36,076 - Get off me! - I'm trying! I don't want this! 1340 01:06:36,243 --> 01:06:38,829 You're on the same fucking team, man! 1341 01:06:38,996 --> 01:06:41,665 Fuck, this is horrible! This is fucking horrible! 1342 01:06:41,832 --> 01:06:43,250 - It is! - Fuck! 1343 01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:44,417 It is. 1344 01:06:44,543 --> 01:06:47,462 I would like to remind fans that, should they still desire, 1345 01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:49,315 they can meet the Highlanders in person tonight 1346 01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:51,967 at the Corktown Pub for fan appreciation night. 1347 01:06:52,134 --> 01:06:56,972 (CROWD CHEERS AND CHANTS) Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! 1348 01:06:57,139 --> 01:07:00,726 MAN : Anders, you fuckin' suck! We fuckin' hate you! 1349 01:07:00,892 --> 01:07:02,936 Anders, you piece of fuckin' shit! 1350 01:07:03,103 --> 01:07:05,856 (WHISPERS) I know it. I fucking know it. 1351 01:07:06,023 --> 01:07:07,524 What the fuck is wrong with you now? 1352 01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,109 You know it too. 1353 01:07:09,276 --> 01:07:11,319 - I beat the shit... - Take it easy. 1354 01:07:11,486 --> 01:07:13,006 - ...out of Doug Glatt. - Take it easy. 1355 01:07:13,030 --> 01:07:15,490 You fucking take it easy! I fucking destroyed him! 1356 01:07:15,657 --> 01:07:17,417 - Calm down. - Get your fucking hands off me! 1357 01:07:17,534 --> 01:07:19,119 - Hey! - HYRUM : Anders... 1358 01:07:22,164 --> 01:07:23,915 I beat you. 1359 01:07:25,584 --> 01:07:27,169 Don't look at them, you dumb fuck. 1360 01:07:27,335 --> 01:07:29,212 - Look at me. - Anders! 1361 01:07:29,379 --> 01:07:33,925 I am here now. Me. Right fucking in front of you! 1362 01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:36,261 - (GRUNTS) - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 1363 01:07:36,428 --> 01:07:38,221 - Attaboy, Doug. - Doug... 1364 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:40,474 - (ALL SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER) - That's enough! 1365 01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:44,186 - That's it. Come on. - (PANTS) 1366 01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:47,564 - I'm fine. I'm fucking fine! - Good. Chill out, man. 1367 01:07:47,731 --> 01:07:49,483 - OK? Just breathe. - (GLASS SHATTERS) 1368 01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:51,943 (ALL SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER) 1369 01:07:52,110 --> 01:07:54,362 - That's enough! - Come on, Doug! 1370 01:07:56,073 --> 01:07:58,533 - God! - Anders, it's over. It's over. 1371 01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:01,661 Get out. Walk him out. 1372 01:08:02,954 --> 01:08:05,749 (SINISTER MUSIC) 1373 01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:08,418 JAMES : Early reports coming in of a bar brawl tonight 1374 01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:10,754 at a popular Halifax Highlanders hang-out, 1375 01:08:10,921 --> 01:08:13,590 allegedly involving the Highlanders themselves 1376 01:08:13,757 --> 01:08:15,884 in what could be just another example 1377 01:08:16,051 --> 01:08:18,053 of violence dogging the team. 1378 01:08:18,220 --> 01:08:19,596 This coming just weeks after 1379 01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:21,640 controversial hockey fighting competition 1380 01:08:21,807 --> 01:08:23,892 Bruised and Battered held its most recent event 1381 01:08:24,059 --> 01:08:27,687 at the Highlanders' home barn, the Halifax MetroCentre. 1382 01:08:27,854 --> 01:08:30,440 With two must-win games left to play 1383 01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:32,484 and Cain and Glatt each serving suspensions, 1384 01:08:32,651 --> 01:08:34,027 one can't help but wonder 1385 01:08:34,194 --> 01:08:38,281 if GM Hyrum Cain has any more tricks up his sleeve. 1386 01:08:40,826 --> 01:08:42,744 EVA : You broke your promise. 1387 01:08:42,911 --> 01:08:45,038 I'm scared. 1388 01:08:45,205 --> 01:08:47,666 I never felt that before. 1389 01:08:49,251 --> 01:08:50,627 He's wearing my C. 1390 01:08:50,794 --> 01:08:53,964 Are you fucking kidding me? That's the best you can do? 1391 01:08:54,131 --> 01:08:57,843 I gave up stuff I like doing too. 1392 01:08:58,009 --> 01:09:00,220 It's different. You've never had a team. 1393 01:09:02,973 --> 01:09:04,599 Yeah. 1394 01:09:04,766 --> 01:09:07,144 Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe... maybe I never did. 1395 01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:09,896 I can still do what I'm supposed to do. I can still fight. 1396 01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:11,582 EVA : I guess that's the fucking problem. 1397 01:09:11,606 --> 01:09:12,607 Eva... 1398 01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:14,359 And yet the worst part is 1399 01:09:14,526 --> 01:09:18,280 you're making me into this fuckin' naggy housewife. 1400 01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:22,826 Do you think I wanna be fucking worrying about you? 1401 01:09:22,993 --> 01:09:25,745 You think I want to be giving you shit? 1402 01:09:25,912 --> 01:09:27,998 I don't. This isn't who I am. 1403 01:09:28,165 --> 01:09:30,667 Eva, please. Where are you going? 1404 01:09:30,834 --> 01:09:33,170 I'm not going anywhere. 1405 01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,637 I eat this soup. 1406 01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:46,766 Yes, I know. That's why I... 1407 01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:49,102 (SIGHS) 1408 01:09:51,313 --> 01:09:53,899 I just need some time, Doug. 1409 01:09:56,276 --> 01:09:57,861 (SIGHS) 1410 01:10:04,784 --> 01:10:08,580 ANDERS : Dad, I'm fuckin' sorry, OK? 1411 01:10:08,747 --> 01:10:11,208 I'm sorry. I fuck... I-I fucked up. 1412 01:10:13,919 --> 01:10:15,295 Fuck. 1413 01:10:15,462 --> 01:10:17,088 I wanna win. I wanna... 1414 01:10:17,255 --> 01:10:19,216 HYRUM : Your contract's been terminated. 1415 01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:22,010 Uh... I'm sorry. What? 1416 01:10:22,177 --> 01:10:24,012 You're on a flight at 10:00pm tonight. 1417 01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:33,897 No? 1418 01:10:35,482 --> 01:10:37,234 (SNIFFS) 1419 01:10:39,444 --> 01:10:41,905 What are you doing? 1420 01:10:42,072 --> 01:10:44,324 Get the fuck out of my face. 1421 01:10:45,742 --> 01:10:47,869 - You wanna swing at me? - You wanna swing at me? 1422 01:10:54,292 --> 01:10:56,294 (HAND SLAPS) 1423 01:10:56,461 --> 01:10:58,255 You're a fucking pussy. 1424 01:11:06,846 --> 01:11:09,015 (SNORTS, SPITS) 1425 01:11:10,642 --> 01:11:13,770 ('LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT' BY LUSH) 1426 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:18,608 I-I'm just saying, 1427 01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:21,903 you're pissed at Doug because he's a hockey player 1428 01:11:22,070 --> 01:11:24,072 and he wants to play hockey. 1429 01:11:24,239 --> 01:11:28,159 He was fucking bare-knuckle prize-fighting too. Jesus! 1430 01:11:28,326 --> 01:11:30,870 - Whose side are you on? - (SNIFFS) 1431 01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:33,790 We both agreed to do this and we both gave shit up. 1432 01:11:33,957 --> 01:11:35,333 That's what growing up is. 1433 01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:38,336 I-I had shit that I liked doing too. 1434 01:11:38,503 --> 01:11:41,256 (SNORTS) Jägerbombs? 1435 01:11:41,423 --> 01:11:43,883 Look, I know you sacrificed things. 1436 01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:47,012 I mean, you have a fucking baby growing in your belly. I get it. 1437 01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:52,517 I just... I think that Doug's team is more than just hockey, 1438 01:11:52,684 --> 01:11:54,227 you know? 1439 01:11:56,938 --> 01:11:59,316 More than a team, even. 1440 01:12:08,575 --> 01:12:10,410 JAMES : Highlanders GM Hyrum Cain 1441 01:12:10,577 --> 01:12:11,953 confirming that Anders Cain 1442 01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:13,538 has been released from his contract. 1443 01:12:13,705 --> 01:12:16,166 Let this be a lesson to everyone out there. 1444 01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:18,710 Your father will break your heart, 1445 01:12:18,877 --> 01:12:20,879 and then he'll shove it down your fuckin' throat, 1446 01:12:21,046 --> 01:12:23,673 pull it out your ass, put it right back in your chest. 1447 01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:27,135 JAMES : No word on whether Hyrum Cain plans to replace Anders 1448 01:12:27,302 --> 01:12:30,055 as the Highlanders round out their season with must-win games 1449 01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:31,765 at home against the Lovell Kings 1450 01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:35,769 and Anders' old team, the Reading Wolfdogs. 1451 01:12:39,064 --> 01:12:41,608 ('FLY AT NIGHT' BY CHILLIWACK) 1452 01:12:41,775 --> 01:12:42,817 (SIGHS) 1453 01:12:46,029 --> 01:12:49,157 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1454 01:12:52,452 --> 01:12:55,413 Stevesy, Legs, Geno, you know what you need to do. 1455 01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:57,916 Eat up minutes. Grind the shit out of them. 1456 01:12:58,083 --> 01:13:00,001 Make them fuck up. 1457 01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:03,546 Tonight, we need to play fucking hard. 1458 01:13:03,713 --> 01:13:05,215 - Right, boys? - Yeah. 1459 01:13:05,382 --> 01:13:07,258 - Alright, boys?! - Yeah! 1460 01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:09,094 Let's fucking do this. 1461 01:13:09,260 --> 01:13:11,020 ROSS : So, you pussies playing hockey or what? 1462 01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:14,265 Wow. 1463 01:13:14,432 --> 01:13:16,810 (BELL TOLLS) 1464 01:13:16,976 --> 01:13:18,812 I messed up, Pat. 1465 01:13:18,978 --> 01:13:22,357 You know, I really like living with you in the motel, 1466 01:13:22,524 --> 01:13:24,317 but I just kind of wanna go home now. 1467 01:13:24,484 --> 01:13:26,945 Yeah, no, I-I get that. It's, uh... (SNIFFS) 1468 01:13:27,112 --> 01:13:28,613 It's definitely not the Ritz, 1469 01:13:28,780 --> 01:13:31,616 but so long as Sherilynn owns it, it's a bed and it's free, 1470 01:13:31,783 --> 01:13:34,202 thanks to that deal I cut with her. 1471 01:13:34,369 --> 01:13:35,787 What kind of deal? 1472 01:13:35,954 --> 01:13:38,164 Fucking the shit out of her constantly. 1473 01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:39,833 Your cousin Sherilynn? 1474 01:13:39,999 --> 01:13:43,169 I don't think I'm the only dude she's fuckin', 1475 01:13:43,336 --> 01:13:45,880 but then she's not the only dude I'm fuckin'. 1476 01:13:47,632 --> 01:13:49,884 (PHONE RINGS) 1477 01:13:51,261 --> 01:13:53,138 Eva? Hello? 1478 01:13:53,304 --> 01:13:55,140 EVA ON PHONE : Uh, hey. Doug, um... 1479 01:13:55,306 --> 01:13:58,101 Eva, hello! It's me, Doug Glatt. 1480 01:13:58,268 --> 01:14:00,228 Uh, Doug, where are you? 1481 01:14:00,395 --> 01:14:02,730 DOUG ON PHONE: I'm sorry I broke my promise. 1482 01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:07,318 I shouldn't have done that, because we're a team. 1483 01:14:07,485 --> 01:14:09,571 I'm so in love with you. 1484 01:14:09,737 --> 01:14:11,865 We're gonna have a family, and I swear... 1485 01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:14,325 Uh, Doug, my water broke. 1486 01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:17,454 It's OK. I can just buy you another one at the gas station. 1487 01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:19,998 No, no! My water broke! 1488 01:14:20,165 --> 01:14:23,084 The baby, uh... The baby's coming. 1489 01:14:23,251 --> 01:14:24,251 What? 1490 01:14:24,335 --> 01:14:27,005 What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? 1491 01:14:27,172 --> 01:14:29,215 What? What? Now? Wait. What? What? 1492 01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:31,634 Mary's at the store... at the store, so I'm all alone. 1493 01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:35,221 No, you're not. Like the baby, I'm also coming now. 1494 01:14:35,388 --> 01:14:37,056 OK. OK. 1495 01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:38,975 - (TYRES SCREECH) - Holy fucking cunt balls! 1496 01:14:39,142 --> 01:14:41,102 - It's happening! - Keep your eyes on the road. 1497 01:14:41,269 --> 01:14:43,021 Oh, yeah. So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. 1498 01:14:43,188 --> 01:14:44,814 But, Eva, I just gotta tell you, 1499 01:14:44,981 --> 01:14:47,317 you, my dear, are gonna look fucking radiant 1500 01:14:47,484 --> 01:14:48,860 during childbirth. 1501 01:14:49,027 --> 01:14:50,403 I am so sorry. 1502 01:14:50,570 --> 01:14:52,906 From now on, whatever we do, we do as a team, OK? 1503 01:14:53,072 --> 01:14:54,824 You know, there's just this natural beauty 1504 01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:56,576 that comes from such a violent act - 1505 01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:58,912 the blood and the fucking pussy ripping open. 1506 01:14:59,078 --> 01:15:00,455 Yeah, I'm gonna be the best husband 1507 01:15:00,622 --> 01:15:02,207 and the best father I can be. 1508 01:15:02,373 --> 01:15:03,791 I'll just say it - to me, no woman, 1509 01:15:03,958 --> 01:15:05,335 no fuckin' woman is more beautiful 1510 01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:06,878 than when she's giving birth. 1511 01:15:07,045 --> 01:15:08,421 Could we, uh... Guys, that's great. 1512 01:15:08,588 --> 01:15:10,131 Could we have no talking for a bit? 1513 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:11,966 Yeah. Of course. Whatever you need. 1514 01:15:12,133 --> 01:15:13,510 - Hey! Goddamn it! - (HORN TOOTS) 1515 01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:16,804 What the fuck? What, is everyone in this city Chinese? 1516 01:15:16,971 --> 01:15:19,599 RED : Oh, no! Down goes Stevenson! 1517 01:15:19,766 --> 01:15:21,184 Jesus Christ! 1518 01:15:21,351 --> 01:15:23,561 Come on! This is not how we kill a fucking penalty! 1519 01:15:23,728 --> 01:15:25,408 Come on, Stevesy! You're good, you're good. 1520 01:15:25,522 --> 01:15:27,524 LaFlamme, come on. Come on. Good, get out. 1521 01:15:27,690 --> 01:15:29,067 - Watch the point! - Sit down. 1522 01:15:29,234 --> 01:15:32,570 Rest that fuckin' ass. Where the fuck is he? 1523 01:15:32,737 --> 01:15:35,114 Hortense keeps looking over toward the dressing room. 1524 01:15:35,281 --> 01:15:37,742 DOUG : Breathe, Eva, breathe. 1525 01:15:37,909 --> 01:15:39,911 - OK? - EVA : OK. 1526 01:15:40,078 --> 01:15:43,248 Deep, slow breaths. Breathe, Eva. Breathe. 1527 01:15:43,414 --> 01:15:45,583 (PUNCHES THUD) 1528 01:15:45,750 --> 01:15:48,962 (ROSS GRUNTS, ROARS) 1529 01:15:49,128 --> 01:15:50,630 RED : Lovell and Halifax, 1530 01:15:50,797 --> 01:15:52,924 now LaFlamme goes after the puck in the corner. 1531 01:15:53,091 --> 01:15:54,842 He takes it in behind the... Here it comes! 1532 01:15:55,009 --> 01:15:57,845 Oh! It's... Oh! And down goes LaFlamme. 1533 01:15:58,012 --> 01:16:01,266 Now Owens is bumped by... Ross Rhea? 1534 01:16:01,432 --> 01:16:04,519 - Nice hit, eh? - Better late than never. 1535 01:16:04,686 --> 01:16:06,312 Ross Rhea is back! 1536 01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,605 (EVA PANTS, GASPS) 1537 01:16:07,772 --> 01:16:10,233 DOCTOR : One last big push. Can you do that for me, Eva? 1538 01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,068 RED : He's back as a Highlander! 1539 01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:14,320 You know, son, generally, it's polite to ask. 1540 01:16:14,487 --> 01:16:17,115 Go watch some curling and get a fucking dye job, you old man. 1541 01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,449 - Fuck you. - (GRUNTS) 1542 01:16:18,616 --> 01:16:20,261 - Come on, Eva. - DOCTOR : That's it. OK, Eva. 1543 01:16:20,285 --> 01:16:22,787 - DOCTOR : Home stretch. - (SCREAMS) 1544 01:16:22,954 --> 01:16:25,915 RED : Ross Rhea fires that patented right... 1545 01:16:26,082 --> 01:16:28,543 (GROANS) 1546 01:16:28,710 --> 01:16:31,629 (BABY CRIES) 1547 01:16:33,590 --> 01:16:34,966 (GRUNTS) 1548 01:16:35,133 --> 01:16:37,135 - RED : We thought he was done! - Old man, eh? 1549 01:16:37,302 --> 01:16:38,928 And he's back in style. 1550 01:16:39,095 --> 01:16:41,806 ('CAN'T SLEEP' BY THE ADAM BROWN) 1551 01:16:41,973 --> 01:16:46,978 ♪ I can't sleep tonight I can't sleep tonight. ♪ 1552 01:16:47,145 --> 01:16:49,147 (BABIES CRY IN DISTANCE) 1553 01:16:49,314 --> 01:16:52,150 - (PAT PASSES WIND) - Pat... 1554 01:17:01,951 --> 01:17:04,662 - Hey, hey, hey! - (GASPS) 1555 01:17:04,829 --> 01:17:06,873 Yeah! 1556 01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:11,169 (PLAYERS MURMUR) 1557 01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:14,922 Nice shot, man. 1558 01:17:15,089 --> 01:17:17,383 Let me know if you're not gonna keep it, OK? 1559 01:17:17,550 --> 01:17:20,094 - Yeah, we're gonna keep it. - Let me know. 1560 01:17:21,888 --> 01:17:24,307 Fuckin' weirdo. 1561 01:17:24,474 --> 01:17:26,225 Everyone OK in there? 1562 01:17:26,392 --> 01:17:29,187 Everybody's great. 1563 01:17:29,354 --> 01:17:31,481 Welcome to the Highlanders. 1564 01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:35,151 Looks like I'm not done after all, eh? 1565 01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:37,904 Mazel tov, kiddo. 1566 01:17:39,447 --> 01:17:41,532 Hey! 1567 01:17:41,699 --> 01:17:46,496 A dick explodes, a baby is made and a father is born. 1568 01:17:50,750 --> 01:17:52,377 I love you. 1569 01:17:55,046 --> 01:17:56,464 All these kisses. 1570 01:17:56,631 --> 01:18:00,468 - I will love your baby. - Thank you so much. 1571 01:18:00,635 --> 01:18:02,220 That's so nice. 1572 01:18:02,387 --> 01:18:05,098 I'm a great babysitter, so I... Not that you... 1573 01:18:05,264 --> 01:18:06,808 Oh, OK. (CHUCKLES) 1574 01:18:09,977 --> 01:18:12,021 You have my back. 1575 01:18:12,188 --> 01:18:14,315 You have since we met, 1576 01:18:14,482 --> 01:18:18,569 and you need to know I'll always have yours. 1577 01:18:19,946 --> 01:18:21,656 Something for the baby. 1578 01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:35,128 It's official. It's official. 1579 01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:37,338 - MAN : Go, Dougie. - MAN 2 : You go, Dougie. 1580 01:18:38,631 --> 01:18:41,426 - (MEN CHEER) - I love you, buddy. 1581 01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:43,344 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 1582 01:18:43,511 --> 01:18:45,722 - Way to go, Dougie! - Good boy! 1583 01:18:47,140 --> 01:18:49,726 (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1584 01:18:52,895 --> 01:18:55,606 ...Doug. 1585 01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:58,985 - (KISSES) - Thank you. 1586 01:19:00,403 --> 01:19:01,779 (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 1587 01:19:01,946 --> 01:19:04,031 (WHISPERS) I don't know who he is. 1588 01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:12,123 I love you, Eva. 1589 01:19:12,290 --> 01:19:15,126 Mm. I love you too, Doug. 1590 01:19:16,586 --> 01:19:20,506 Mm. (GIGGLES) 1591 01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:22,800 Damn! 1592 01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:26,012 I'm high as fuckin' balls. 1593 01:19:26,179 --> 01:19:28,431 Just big ol' balls. 1594 01:19:28,598 --> 01:19:33,019 PS, fuckin' pushing a baby out your vagina blows hard. 1595 01:19:33,186 --> 01:19:35,354 I know. 1596 01:19:36,481 --> 01:19:38,900 But you were here. 1597 01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:43,446 I needed you and you were here. 1598 01:19:45,865 --> 01:19:48,451 It's the same shit, Doug. 1599 01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:52,038 It's the same shit that brought you here 1600 01:19:52,205 --> 01:19:55,708 is the shit that needs you to be out there. 1601 01:19:57,919 --> 01:19:59,879 They need you too. 1602 01:20:01,923 --> 01:20:04,133 Highlanders need you. 1603 01:20:07,386 --> 01:20:11,349 Doug, you need to be out there. 1604 01:20:15,311 --> 01:20:17,647 JAMES : This is it. The last game of the season. 1605 01:20:17,814 --> 01:20:19,524 The Highlanders need one more win 1606 01:20:19,690 --> 01:20:22,276 after their gutsy 2-1 victory over Lovell. 1607 01:20:22,443 --> 01:20:23,986 CHAD : And now, tonight, 1608 01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:26,364 their entire season hangs on this one last game, 1609 01:20:26,531 --> 01:20:28,366 which should be a doozy 1610 01:20:28,533 --> 01:20:30,785 as it marks Cain's return to the Halifax MetroCentre 1611 01:20:30,952 --> 01:20:34,121 in his first game back since re-signing with the Wolfdogs. 1612 01:20:34,288 --> 01:20:35,849 REPORTER : Any message for your former teammates? 1613 01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:37,166 Watch your back. 1614 01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:41,254 - Cain's gonna be out there. - PARK : Fuck Cain. 1615 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:44,131 The shape your shoulder's in, you tweak it, 1616 01:20:44,298 --> 01:20:46,592 you throw one heavy punch with that right, 1617 01:20:46,759 --> 01:20:48,928 that's your career fucked for good. 1618 01:20:49,095 --> 01:20:50,763 I need to protect my team. 1619 01:20:50,930 --> 01:20:53,182 We're having a very busy night here. 1620 01:20:56,519 --> 01:21:01,858 Xavier, you've been whatever this team has needed you to be. 1621 01:21:02,024 --> 01:21:04,735 You've worked, you've bled. 1622 01:21:07,029 --> 01:21:08,990 (CLEARS THROAT) I, uh... 1623 01:21:09,156 --> 01:21:11,701 I unstitched it from Cain's jersey. 1624 01:21:14,161 --> 01:21:16,664 It's yours now. You've earned it. 1625 01:21:18,583 --> 01:21:22,044 (PLAYERS CHEER, APPLAUD) 1626 01:21:22,211 --> 01:21:24,171 RONNIE : Flammer, Flammer, come on. 1627 01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:31,178 (CHUCKLES) 1628 01:21:32,638 --> 01:21:34,015 (CHUCKLES) 1629 01:21:34,181 --> 01:21:37,268 I learned the difference between a moment and a career 1630 01:21:37,435 --> 01:21:39,437 is evolution. 1631 01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:42,315 Evolution. 1632 01:21:42,481 --> 01:21:45,067 You will slow down. 1633 01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:47,403 You will get old. 1634 01:21:47,570 --> 01:21:50,656 Your body will fail you. 1635 01:21:50,823 --> 01:21:53,701 So you evolve. 1636 01:21:53,868 --> 01:21:56,329 You change your game. 1637 01:21:56,495 --> 01:21:59,165 You do what you need to do with the time you got. 1638 01:22:00,791 --> 01:22:03,753 If not, you go extinct. 1639 01:22:06,005 --> 01:22:09,467 Evolve or go extinct. 1640 01:22:12,011 --> 01:22:14,013 - Are you ready to go extinct? - No, I am not. 1641 01:22:14,180 --> 01:22:16,474 - No fuckin' way. - Are you fucking extinct? 1642 01:22:16,641 --> 01:22:18,809 - No! - No, absolutely not. 1643 01:22:18,976 --> 01:22:20,770 Well, I'm still here. 1644 01:22:20,937 --> 01:22:23,481 I'm not ready to go fucking extinct. 1645 01:22:23,648 --> 01:22:26,692 - The Highlanders are still here! - Yeah, we are. 1646 01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:28,945 The fucking Highlanders are here! 1647 01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:30,696 (PLAYERS CHEER) 1648 01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:33,741 (ALL CHANT) Highlanders! Highlanders! 1649 01:22:33,908 --> 01:22:36,869 Highlanders! Highlanders! 1650 01:22:37,036 --> 01:22:40,331 - Highlanders! Highlanders! - (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 1651 01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:44,085 Highlanders! Highlanders! Highlanders! 1652 01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:45,836 - Alright, boys? - (CHANTING CONTINUES) 1653 01:22:46,003 --> 01:22:47,755 Let's do this! Come on! 1654 01:22:47,922 --> 01:22:49,757 RED : This is it, folks. 1655 01:22:49,924 --> 01:22:51,604 It's do or die for the Highlanders tonight. 1656 01:22:51,634 --> 01:22:54,428 Their entire season comes down to this one game. 1657 01:22:54,595 --> 01:22:56,555 It's that simple. 1658 01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:00,726 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1659 01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:03,562 - Fuck 'em up! - Come on! 1660 01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:07,483 Which one do you want? I got the big one. 1661 01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:09,360 Ah, fuck it. I want both of 'em. 1662 01:23:12,029 --> 01:23:13,948 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1663 01:23:15,658 --> 01:23:18,452 It's open season on all your fucking boys tonight, Doug. 1664 01:23:18,619 --> 01:23:22,581 - I don't have to fight you. - Yeah, you do. 1665 01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:32,425 RED : So it's a must-win for the Halifax Highlanders. 1666 01:23:32,591 --> 01:23:34,844 There's no tomorrow if they don't. 1667 01:23:35,011 --> 01:23:36,887 Guys, listen, I got some changes here. 1668 01:23:37,054 --> 01:23:39,849 Flammer, Dougie, Rhea, off the hop, 1669 01:23:40,016 --> 01:23:41,726 Legs and Geno on the back end. 1670 01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:44,687 OK, boys, let's go. Game faces, focus. 1671 01:23:44,854 --> 01:23:46,894 They're gonna try and taunt us. Don't look for shit. 1672 01:23:46,939 --> 01:23:49,525 Now Doug Glatt comes out to take the opening faceoff 1673 01:23:49,692 --> 01:23:53,696 alongside Ross Rhea, former combatants. 1674 01:23:53,863 --> 01:23:57,074 Hey, big fella. You like Kim Mitchell? 1675 01:23:57,241 --> 01:23:58,826 That's what I thought. 1676 01:23:58,993 --> 01:24:00,913 - Alright. We're fuckin' going. - (WHISTLE TOOTS) 1677 01:24:01,037 --> 01:24:03,330 - Alright, here we go. - What the fuck did I just say? 1678 01:24:03,497 --> 01:24:05,666 Coach said don't look for shit. That's shit. 1679 01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:08,169 I bet you don't like Rush either, you fuckin' big Litvak. 1680 01:24:08,335 --> 01:24:10,880 He's looking for shit. Goddamn it, laid 'em right out. 1681 01:24:11,047 --> 01:24:13,340 Jesus Christ, what are they feeding ya? 1682 01:24:13,507 --> 01:24:15,384 A lot of fuckin' pierogis, eh? 1683 01:24:15,551 --> 01:24:19,513 Easy, big fella. Alright. Here we go. 1684 01:24:21,265 --> 01:24:23,392 - (SPECTATORS CHEER) - (BOTH GRUNT) 1685 01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,853 - (BLOW SQUELCHES) - (GRUNTS) 1686 01:24:33,778 --> 01:24:35,905 RED : Well, folks, big girls may not cry... 1687 01:24:36,072 --> 01:24:37,448 How about that, eh? 1688 01:24:37,615 --> 01:24:40,242 ...but big men from Eastern Europe apparently bleed a lot. 1689 01:24:40,409 --> 01:24:43,454 Fuckin' right! I can do this all night, boys. 1690 01:24:44,497 --> 01:24:46,540 You're gonna leave this building in an ambulance. 1691 01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:48,101 Sorry, Point Break. You say something? 1692 01:24:48,125 --> 01:24:49,877 - Rosser, Rosser, nah, nah. - Come on, boy. 1693 01:24:50,044 --> 01:24:52,046 - You can come play. - It's over. Go to the box. 1694 01:24:52,213 --> 01:24:54,965 No? Alright. You sure? 1695 01:24:55,132 --> 01:24:57,343 Oh! No. He doesn't wanna fucking play. 1696 01:24:57,510 --> 01:24:59,845 - Let's go. - (GRUNTS) 1697 01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:01,639 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1698 01:25:03,224 --> 01:25:05,434 RED : So at the faceoff, the puck is dropped. 1699 01:25:05,601 --> 01:25:06,977 It goes back to Anders Cain. 1700 01:25:07,144 --> 01:25:08,904 The former captain of the Halifax Highlanders 1701 01:25:08,979 --> 01:25:10,856 bounces off a check, moves up the right wing 1702 01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:13,943 moves right in on goal, trying to bang it by Belchior. 1703 01:25:14,110 --> 01:25:18,197 Runs into Ahmed. They count the goal. Should it count? 1704 01:25:18,364 --> 01:25:20,425 - Where's the fucking whistle?! - Where the fuck's the whistle? 1705 01:25:20,449 --> 01:25:22,118 Cheap fucking goal. 1706 01:25:22,284 --> 01:25:25,830 So, the Highlanders down 1-0 in the second period, 1707 01:25:25,996 --> 01:25:27,373 a game they have to win. 1708 01:25:27,540 --> 01:25:29,625 And here comes LaFlamme, dancing up the centre ice. 1709 01:25:29,792 --> 01:25:31,293 LaFlamme makes a move, 1710 01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,188 dipsy-doodle, heads toward the front of the net. 1711 01:25:33,212 --> 01:25:36,132 Flips it back. Yakovlena. He scores! 1712 01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:37,675 - (SPECTATORS CHEER) - Yes! 1713 01:25:37,842 --> 01:25:41,178 - (SOFTLY) Yes. Yes. Yes. - Evgeni Yakovlena... 1714 01:25:41,345 --> 01:25:42,429 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1715 01:25:42,596 --> 01:25:47,309 ANNOUNCER :..scored by number 6, Evgeni Yakovlena. 1716 01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,061 RED : So it's 1-1 in the second period. 1717 01:25:49,228 --> 01:25:51,272 Here once again is LaFlamme... (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) 1718 01:25:51,438 --> 01:25:53,524 Oh! Was he hammered! 1719 01:25:53,691 --> 01:25:55,377 - GORD : Horseshit! - RONNIE : Fucking bullshit! 1720 01:25:55,401 --> 01:25:57,921 - Put me in right fucking now. - You've done enough for tonight. 1721 01:25:58,070 --> 01:25:59,613 - Fucking asshole. - We'll get him. 1722 01:25:59,780 --> 01:26:02,741 - That's fucking bullshit. - He's a fucking lunatic! 1723 01:26:02,908 --> 01:26:05,411 (GRUNTS) 1724 01:26:05,578 --> 01:26:07,204 Now the puck finds its way to Glatt. 1725 01:26:07,371 --> 01:26:08,998 - They're normally strangers. - Dougie! 1726 01:26:09,165 --> 01:26:10,916 - (GRUNTS) - Holy cow! 1727 01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:12,626 - Jesus. - Thanks, X! 1728 01:26:12,793 --> 01:26:15,754 - Did you see that?! - That's Captain A. 1729 01:26:15,921 --> 01:26:19,508 It was LaFlamme who ran into and decked Cain! 1730 01:26:19,675 --> 01:26:21,260 Flammer's loaded for bear. 1731 01:26:21,427 --> 01:26:24,263 Here comes LaFlamme, makes a move around the defender, 1732 01:26:24,430 --> 01:26:25,806 moves right in on the goal. 1733 01:26:25,973 --> 01:26:28,434 Magic hands. Great save by Nicholai. 1734 01:26:28,601 --> 01:26:31,312 Watch Flammer's back. Do what you gotta do, but keep it clean. 1735 01:26:31,478 --> 01:26:33,272 Six minutes left in the third period. 1736 01:26:33,439 --> 01:26:36,567 Halifax and Reading still tied at a goal apiece. 1737 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,820 - Take ice away! Come on! - Here's Anders Cain. 1738 01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:41,989 - Cain gets it over to Totan. - Get on the puck! 1739 01:26:42,156 --> 01:26:44,116 Totan looks back, returns it to Cain. 1740 01:26:44,283 --> 01:26:46,410 (SPECTATORS BOO AND JEER) 1741 01:26:48,037 --> 01:26:50,706 What is this you're doing? Make shoot! 1742 01:26:50,873 --> 01:26:52,583 Cain seems to be in the midst of 1743 01:26:52,750 --> 01:26:55,169 some sort of psycho-athletic fugue state. 1744 01:26:55,336 --> 01:26:57,296 Fuckin' make shoot! 1745 01:26:59,173 --> 01:27:00,424 (GLASS SHATTERS) 1746 01:27:00,591 --> 01:27:03,135 - (SPECTATORS EXCLAIM) - Mother of God! 1747 01:27:03,302 --> 01:27:04,988 - Holy snappin' arseholes. - What the fuck's he doing? 1748 01:27:05,012 --> 01:27:06,698 - Right off his rocker. - What's he fuckin' doing? 1749 01:27:06,722 --> 01:27:08,057 What the fuck? 1750 01:27:08,224 --> 01:27:11,018 Cain seems to have actually fired the puck 1751 01:27:11,185 --> 01:27:13,562 into his father's loge accommodations. 1752 01:27:13,729 --> 01:27:15,648 - (WHISTLE TOOTS) - You gonna call that or what? 1753 01:27:17,024 --> 01:27:19,318 Now Anders Cain takes a shot at LaFlamme. 1754 01:27:19,485 --> 01:27:21,820 - Come on! - LaFlamme punches back at Cain. 1755 01:27:21,987 --> 01:27:24,365 Ross Rhea steps in. Cain gives a right. 1756 01:27:24,531 --> 01:27:26,283 What the fuck was that? 1757 01:27:26,450 --> 01:27:28,470 ROSS : I'm gonna teach you some fuckin' manners, son. 1758 01:27:28,494 --> 01:27:32,248 He has gone absolutely bonkers in this game here tonight. 1759 01:27:32,414 --> 01:27:35,793 Now he goes to the penalty box. So does Ross Rhea. 1760 01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,336 WOMAN : Fuck you, Cain! 1761 01:27:37,503 --> 01:27:40,214 ANNOUNCER OVER P.A.: Halifax number three, Ross Rhea, 1762 01:27:40,381 --> 01:27:43,175 Reading number 13, Anders Cain. 1763 01:27:43,342 --> 01:27:47,012 - Getting tired? - Dude, I'm always tired. 1764 01:27:48,097 --> 01:27:49,765 'Cause you're an old piece of shit. 1765 01:27:49,932 --> 01:27:51,558 You got me there. 1766 01:27:52,893 --> 01:27:55,229 This old piece of shit's gonna take your fuckin' head off. 1767 01:27:55,396 --> 01:27:57,898 Rhea! Get your ass back to the bench! 1768 01:27:58,065 --> 01:27:59,465 RONNIE : We're gonna kill this thing. 1769 01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:01,986 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 1770 01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:06,323 Good luck, kid. 1771 01:28:08,409 --> 01:28:10,452 The two combatants step back out on the ice... 1772 01:28:10,619 --> 01:28:12,413 Where are you going? What are you doing? 1773 01:28:12,579 --> 01:28:14,707 ...and immediately Rhea begins to chase Cain. 1774 01:28:14,873 --> 01:28:16,208 Rhea! 1775 01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:19,086 The puck is still in Reading territory. 1776 01:28:19,253 --> 01:28:20,773 Now it's knocked back to the blue line. 1777 01:28:20,921 --> 01:28:22,798 Here's a shot on goal. A save is made. 1778 01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:25,759 Puck goes into the corner. Rhea goes in after it. 1779 01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:29,305 - Anders, no. - And going after Rhea is Cain. 1780 01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:31,557 - (IMPACT THUDS) - No! 1781 01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:34,560 I told you you'd end up in a fucking ambulance. 1782 01:28:34,727 --> 01:28:37,771 - You fucking piece of shit! - Get the fuck out of here, Cain. 1783 01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:40,232 Rhea is down. He's bloodied. 1784 01:28:40,399 --> 01:28:42,484 He may well be unconscious. 1785 01:28:42,651 --> 01:28:45,070 - (PLAYERS YELL) - Motherfucker! 1786 01:28:45,237 --> 01:28:47,437 Let's get the board out. Let's get him on the stretcher. 1787 01:28:47,573 --> 01:28:49,992 They're bringing out the stretcher. 1788 01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:52,411 Rhea is down, folks. He's bleeding. 1789 01:28:52,578 --> 01:28:54,163 This doesn't look good. 1790 01:28:54,330 --> 01:28:57,458 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 1791 01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:01,003 Hm. 1792 01:29:06,050 --> 01:29:07,634 - Doug. - Shit. 1793 01:29:07,801 --> 01:29:09,762 OK, up, back down. OK. 1794 01:29:09,928 --> 01:29:11,430 Ladies and gentlemen, 1795 01:29:11,597 --> 01:29:14,016 Doug 'The Thug' Glatt is entering the fray. 1796 01:29:14,183 --> 01:29:17,186 He's making a beeline for Anders Cain. 1797 01:29:17,353 --> 01:29:20,689 This could only mean one thing. 1798 01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:22,576 I thought you didn't need to fight me, Doug. 1799 01:29:22,608 --> 01:29:24,109 ROSS : Lay him the fuck out, kid. 1800 01:29:27,738 --> 01:29:28,739 (SOFTLY) Doug... 1801 01:29:28,906 --> 01:29:31,075 This is for someone else. 1802 01:29:32,284 --> 01:29:33,994 (BLOW SQUELCHES) 1803 01:29:36,955 --> 01:29:37,955 (GRUNTS) 1804 01:29:37,998 --> 01:29:39,792 (BLOWS THUD) 1805 01:29:39,958 --> 01:29:42,669 (BOTH GRUNT) 1806 01:29:42,836 --> 01:29:45,923 Cain and Glatt going at each other one after the other. 1807 01:29:46,090 --> 01:29:48,634 - One, two, three. - (SCREAMS) 1808 01:29:48,801 --> 01:29:50,594 - Oh, he hammers Glatt. - (SPECTATORS GROAN) 1809 01:29:50,761 --> 01:29:52,763 - Fuck. - Blood spews. 1810 01:29:52,930 --> 01:29:55,474 - (GRUNTS) - Oh! 1811 01:29:59,770 --> 01:30:03,232 And these guys are being left to their own devices. 1812 01:30:03,399 --> 01:30:06,151 (BOTH GRUNT) 1813 01:30:08,612 --> 01:30:11,115 - Yes! - These men are wild. 1814 01:30:11,281 --> 01:30:14,034 They're crazy. There's blood everywhere. 1815 01:30:16,328 --> 01:30:18,122 Attaboy, Dougie. 1816 01:30:19,456 --> 01:30:23,085 I'm glad you came back, Doug! Come on! 1817 01:30:23,252 --> 01:30:25,254 (ROARS) 1818 01:30:26,296 --> 01:30:29,425 - (IMPACT CRUNCHES) - (SCREAMS) 1819 01:30:34,638 --> 01:30:36,640 - (BLOWS THUD) - (GRUNTS) 1820 01:30:36,807 --> 01:30:39,935 Oh, blood and gore all over the floor! 1821 01:30:42,813 --> 01:30:45,566 The linesmen are nowhere to be seen. 1822 01:30:45,732 --> 01:30:47,234 You can't blame them. 1823 01:30:47,401 --> 01:30:51,029 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1824 01:30:52,698 --> 01:30:54,283 - (GRUNTS) - (SPECTATORS EXCLAIM) 1825 01:30:54,450 --> 01:30:55,742 (GASPS) 1826 01:30:58,412 --> 01:31:00,998 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! 1827 01:31:01,165 --> 01:31:03,542 Do it. Do it, Doug. 1828 01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,795 Take his fucking head off! 1829 01:31:06,962 --> 01:31:09,339 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! 1830 01:31:09,506 --> 01:31:11,758 Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! 1831 01:31:11,925 --> 01:31:12,968 Do it. 1832 01:31:13,135 --> 01:31:16,388 - (GROANS WEAKLY) - No. 1833 01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:20,309 It's over. 1834 01:31:20,476 --> 01:31:22,936 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1835 01:31:24,897 --> 01:31:26,899 It's never over. 1836 01:31:29,026 --> 01:31:31,111 We're gonna do this night after night... 1837 01:31:32,905 --> 01:31:36,450 ...game after fucking game. 1838 01:31:36,617 --> 01:31:38,744 You hear me, Doug? 1839 01:31:38,911 --> 01:31:43,540 Game after fucking game! 1840 01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:47,836 - Look up there, Doug. - (HEARTBEAT REVERBERATES) 1841 01:31:48,003 --> 01:31:51,632 ANDERS : Look at 'em! This is it! 1842 01:31:53,133 --> 01:31:56,094 This is what they want us to do! 1843 01:31:56,261 --> 01:31:58,805 I do whatever my team needs me to do. 1844 01:31:58,972 --> 01:32:01,075 ANDERS : We're just gonna keep fucking bleeding out here... 1845 01:32:01,099 --> 01:32:02,351 Doug. 1846 01:32:02,518 --> 01:32:04,144 ANDERS :..over and over again 1847 01:32:04,311 --> 01:32:08,524 until they cart every fucking last one of us 1848 01:32:08,690 --> 01:32:10,359 off the fucking ice! 1849 01:32:10,526 --> 01:32:11,652 - Doug! - Dougie! 1850 01:32:16,490 --> 01:32:18,033 (BONES CRACK) 1851 01:32:21,620 --> 01:32:23,872 (DISTORTED GROANING) 1852 01:32:25,499 --> 01:32:27,334 - (BONES CRUNCH) - (GROANS) 1853 01:32:33,006 --> 01:32:35,634 (GROANS) 1854 01:32:35,801 --> 01:32:38,595 Jesus, Dougie. Are you OK? 1855 01:32:38,762 --> 01:32:41,932 Not really, but thanks for askin'. 1856 01:32:46,228 --> 01:32:49,314 Right there. Right there. 1857 01:32:49,481 --> 01:32:52,484 (HIGH-PITCHED WHINE ECHOES) 1858 01:32:59,533 --> 01:33:02,411 Anders, can you hear me? Hey, hey. 1859 01:33:02,578 --> 01:33:04,788 - (COUGHS, GASPS) - It's OK. 1860 01:33:06,540 --> 01:33:08,417 I fucking... 1861 01:33:09,626 --> 01:33:12,462 ...hate this sport. 1862 01:33:12,629 --> 01:33:15,382 - (WHEEZES) - Oh, righto. 1863 01:33:16,967 --> 01:33:19,886 (LAUGHS) 1864 01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:23,390 One, two, three. 1865 01:33:23,557 --> 01:33:26,101 - (BONES CRACK) - (CRIES OUT) 1866 01:33:26,268 --> 01:33:29,104 - Don't hate me, here. - I don't hate you, Parky. 1867 01:33:29,271 --> 01:33:31,982 - I could never hate you. - (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1868 01:33:32,149 --> 01:33:35,819 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Highlanders! Highlanders! Highlanders! 1869 01:33:35,986 --> 01:33:39,114 RED : There's only seconds left and nothing is settled. 1870 01:33:39,281 --> 01:33:40,961 As LaFlamme moves through the neutral zone, 1871 01:33:41,074 --> 01:33:42,451 gets in across the line, 1872 01:33:42,618 --> 01:33:44,161 he's got Stevenson on his flank. 1873 01:33:44,328 --> 01:33:47,205 (HEROIC MUSIC) 1874 01:33:48,290 --> 01:33:51,043 (SPECTATORS CHANT) Highlanders! Highlanders! 1875 01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:54,546 Highlanders! Highlanders! 1876 01:33:54,713 --> 01:33:57,507 LaFlamme's now moving in toward Totan. 1877 01:34:00,010 --> 01:34:01,553 Five seconds left. 1878 01:34:04,806 --> 01:34:06,767 Stevenson is there... 1879 01:34:09,686 --> 01:34:12,272 - (DISTORTED GROAN) - LaFlamme moving in... 1880 01:34:18,320 --> 01:34:22,616 STEVENSON : Excalibur! 1881 01:34:23,700 --> 01:34:25,118 (WARPING LOW TONES) 1882 01:34:25,285 --> 01:34:26,662 (SPECTATORS CHEER) 1883 01:34:26,828 --> 01:34:31,124 Stevenson scores! They did it! The Highlanders win! 1884 01:34:31,291 --> 01:34:32,709 The Highlanders win! 1885 01:34:32,876 --> 01:34:35,879 For just the second time in 10 years, 1886 01:34:36,046 --> 01:34:39,174 the Halifax Highlanders are going to the play-offs! 1887 01:34:39,341 --> 01:34:42,177 ('ACT 3, SCENE 2' FROM 'TURANDOT' BY PUCCINI) 1888 01:34:44,429 --> 01:34:46,932 (ALL CHEER) 1889 01:34:54,272 --> 01:34:55,816 'Bye, guys. 1890 01:34:58,276 --> 01:35:02,447 (TRIUMPHANT OPERATIC CRESCENDO) 1891 01:35:19,381 --> 01:35:22,300 ('YOU HELD THE WORLD IN YOUR ARMS' BY IDLEWILD) 1892 01:35:32,602 --> 01:35:34,229 ♪ Every face... ♪ 1893 01:35:34,396 --> 01:35:37,441 (CLEARS THROAT) That's when the hand jobs start. 1894 01:35:37,607 --> 01:35:39,276 Oh, no, I was wrong. 1895 01:35:39,443 --> 01:35:42,571 They're starting early today. No lube or nothin'. 1896 01:35:42,738 --> 01:35:46,783 DOUG : Give it to him, Johnny! Masturbate that penis! 1897 01:35:46,950 --> 01:35:48,160 (ALL LAUGH) 1898 01:35:48,326 --> 01:35:50,454 This is the weirdest fucking job ever. 1899 01:35:51,830 --> 01:35:54,624 - (ALL GROAN) - Sorry about that. 1900 01:35:54,791 --> 01:35:57,753 - It had to happen once. - You good? 1901 01:35:57,919 --> 01:35:59,546 Wow, it smells like dick. 1902 01:35:59,713 --> 01:36:01,840 Oh, God, it smells so much like piss. 1903 01:36:02,007 --> 01:36:04,301 - (ALL LAUGH) - I had no response to that. 1904 01:36:04,468 --> 01:36:06,261 Well, if you give me enough booze, 1905 01:36:06,428 --> 01:36:08,013 I'll munch a box or two. 1906 01:36:08,180 --> 01:36:11,558 - I mean... - (ALL LAUGH) 1907 01:36:11,725 --> 01:36:15,145 - (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. - Only two? 1908 01:36:15,312 --> 01:36:17,189 A couple. (LAUGHS) 1909 01:36:17,355 --> 01:36:19,608 - Let's try that one more time. - What is the line? 1910 01:36:19,775 --> 01:36:21,985 Highlanders! Highlanders! 1911 01:36:22,152 --> 01:36:23,695 - Highland... - (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 1912 01:36:23,862 --> 01:36:25,238 Alright, shut the fuck up. 1913 01:36:25,405 --> 01:36:26,907 (ALL LAUGH) 1914 01:36:27,073 --> 01:36:28,575 What did you do, man? 1915 01:36:28,742 --> 01:36:30,952 You had a jack-off selfie on my grandmother's grave, 1916 01:36:31,119 --> 01:36:35,332 you fuckin' inbred Slavic fuckin' potato vampire! 1917 01:36:35,499 --> 01:36:37,751 I'm telling you, man, knowing you and playing with you 1918 01:36:37,918 --> 01:36:41,171 is like being force-fed fucking junkie piss! 1919 01:36:41,338 --> 01:36:42,714 And you two! 1920 01:36:42,881 --> 01:36:45,217 You're like fucking Mother Russia's herpes, man! 1921 01:36:45,383 --> 01:36:46,843 The bitch shipped them to Canada 1922 01:36:47,010 --> 01:36:48,470 and fuckin' made me deal with 'em! 1923 01:36:48,637 --> 01:36:51,097 - Belchy! - (SLATE CLACKS) 1924 01:36:51,264 --> 01:36:52,891 He gets it! I love candy! 1925 01:36:53,058 --> 01:36:56,102 What? Yeah, I'll take a fucking candy! I love fucking candy! 1926 01:36:56,269 --> 01:37:01,525 He fucking gets it! Fuck! No! No more fucking candies! 1927 01:37:01,691 --> 01:37:04,069 Sports Desk - we've got slogans. 1928 01:37:04,236 --> 01:37:07,781 Sports Desk - our slogan IS a slogan. 1929 01:37:07,948 --> 01:37:09,324 You're watching Sports Desk. 1930 01:37:09,491 --> 01:37:11,368 Sports Desk - we're all pink on the inside. 1931 01:37:11,535 --> 01:37:13,954 (ALL LAUGH) 1932 01:37:14,120 --> 01:37:15,997 (BOTH SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER) 1933 01:37:16,164 --> 01:37:18,750 - Ow! Ugh! - Ow! Fuck! Ow! 1934 01:37:20,710 --> 01:37:22,671 I'm sorry, dude. That was really awkward. 1935 01:37:22,838 --> 01:37:25,173 (ALL LAUGH) 1936 01:37:31,596 --> 01:37:33,223 What the fuck are you wearing, dude? 1937 01:37:33,390 --> 01:37:35,267 It's supposed to make me look big. 1938 01:37:35,433 --> 01:37:37,894 Why do you shop in little girl section? 1939 01:37:38,061 --> 01:37:40,146 (ALL LAUGH) 1940 01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:43,233 You honestly look like you're on the fuckin' autobahn 1941 01:37:43,400 --> 01:37:44,818 straight to Gay Town, man. 1942 01:37:44,985 --> 01:37:47,779 On the blonde bus to Anal Town, hm? 1943 01:37:48,989 --> 01:37:52,409 You look like a little Nazi weightlifter. 1944 01:37:52,576 --> 01:37:54,870 (ALL LAUGH) 1945 01:37:55,036 --> 01:37:57,664 Power-lifting fucking dongs, man. 1946 01:37:57,831 --> 01:38:01,918 - Like... - (ALL LAUGH) 1947 01:38:02,085 --> 01:38:05,171 BOB : I guess they like him 'cause he's got smaller hands. 1948 01:38:05,338 --> 01:38:06,715 - Who wouldn't? - You know? 1949 01:38:06,882 --> 01:38:08,717 Feels like a female's hands, 1950 01:38:08,884 --> 01:38:12,053 but make no mistake, that is a man. 1951 01:38:12,220 --> 01:38:14,264 (ALL LAUGH) 1952 01:38:14,431 --> 01:38:17,350 I'm not stooping to your fuckin' level. 1953 01:38:17,517 --> 01:38:19,519 - The mayonnaise is semen. - (SPITS) What? 1954 01:38:19,686 --> 01:38:23,940 - Enjoy the cannoli. - This is so disrespectful, man. 1955 01:38:24,107 --> 01:38:27,277 And it better not have come out of that fuckin' sturgeon. 1956 01:38:27,444 --> 01:38:30,155 (ALL LAUGH) 1957 01:38:33,658 --> 01:38:37,621 Always driving away the ones you love. 1958 01:38:37,787 --> 01:38:42,208 (ALL LAUGH) 1959 01:38:45,003 --> 01:38:47,130 JAY : I love this movie! 1960 01:38:50,759 --> 01:38:53,887 (ORCHESTRAL ARRANGEMENT OF 'SCOTLAND THE BRAVE') 1961 01:40:48,626 --> 01:40:50,754 Hockey history is full of star players 1962 01:40:50,920 --> 01:40:52,297 and its backup enforcers. 1963 01:40:52,464 --> 01:40:53,882 - You know, you got Gretzky... - Mm. 1964 01:40:54,049 --> 01:40:55,049 ...and McSorley. 1965 01:40:55,091 --> 01:40:57,052 Well, I don't know if I'm a Gretzky. 1966 01:40:57,218 --> 01:40:58,595 - Doug... - Thank you. 1967 01:40:58,762 --> 01:41:00,680 He took our fucking microphone. 187340

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