IT IS ALSO MY EXPERT OPINION THAT THE DOCUMENT ANALYSIS
IS RELIABLE,
AS THESE HANDWRITING SAMPLES ARE COMPARATIVELY SIMILAR.
I AM SO BORED.
SHH.
I NEED TO GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.
I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO ON THE MYERS CASE.
THE SAMPLE PROVIDED ON THE TOP
CONTAINS THE SAME CONTENT
AS THE ORIGINAL ON THE BOTTOM.
NAMELY, THEY ARE BOTH THE SUBJECT'S SIGNATURE...
NO PUN INTENDED.
"NAMELY."
THIS IS ACTUALLY KILLING ME. PART OF ME IS DYING.
SHH.
I HAVE A BOMB!
THIS IS BETTER.
REMEMBER ME, JUDGE?
15-20 FOR AGGRAVATED MANSLAUGHTER?
WELL, I GOT OUT TODAY.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M STILL AGGRAVATED!
SIT DOWN!
DO YOU MIND? WE'RE TRYING TO CONDUCT A TRIAL HERE.
GET OVER HERE!
DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID I HAD A BOMB.
NO, YOU DON'T, AND HERE'S WHY.
"A" -- YOU SAID "MANSLAUGHTER," WHICH MEANS THAT YOU DIDN'T
HAVE THE GUTS FOR MURDER ONE THE FIRST TIME AROUND.
"B" -- IF YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT AGGRAVATION CHOKE,
YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT THREATENING TO HAVE A BOMB
CARRIES A MUCH LESSER SENTENCE THAN ACTUALLY WEARING ONE.
"C" -- THAT COAT IS FAIRLY SVELTE.
AND "D" -- IF YOU REALLY HAD A BOMB,
YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO HAVE A HOSTAGE.
WOULD YOU?
I DO HAVE A BOMB.
COME ON, WE'VE GOT TWO MORE EXPERT WITNESSES
TO GET THROUGH BY LUNCH. I'M ASSUMING YOU CAN SPEED
THROUGH YOUR TESTIMONY JUST TO KEEP UP WITH OUR SCHEDULE?
UH-HUH. YOU SIT DOWN, OR I'LL BLOW THIS THING!
YOU DON'T HAVE A BOMB. YES, I DO!
NO, YOU DON'T. YES, I DO.
PROVE IT. MR. CHASE, PERHAPS --
I WAS A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR AS A MARINE.
THIS MAN DOES NOT HAVE A BOMB. I DO, TOO!
YOU'RE INTERRUPTING, SIR. MR. CHASE --
SHOW ME THE BOMB. I'LL BLOW THIS THING!
MR. CHASE! SHOW IT TO ME.
I'M NOT GONNA SHOW YOU.
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
FINE.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
WHAT'S THAT THING?
IT'S AN ORNAMENT.
A CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENT.
YOU CAN'T GO TO COURT LIKE THAT.
OF COURSE NOT.
YOU OKAY, DENNY?
IT'S THIS CASE.
IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE DONE NOTHING ELSE
BUT WORK ON IT FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS.
WHAT IN PARTICULAR ABOUT THE CASE IS BOTHERING YOU?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
IT'S -- WELL,
IF YOU, SAY, WERE GOING TO BRIEFLY DESCRIBE IT
TO SOMEONE WHO WAS CLUELESS,
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
I'D SAY WE REPRESENT A BIG DRUG COMPANY...
YES, THAT'S THE PART I LIKE.
THEN I'D SAY THEY'RE BEING SUED BY A WOMAN WHO CLAIMS
SHE WAS WRONGFULLY REMOVED FROM THE COMPANY'S CLINICAL TRIAL
OF A POTENT, NEW DIABETES MEDICINE.
THAT'S WHERE I LOSE TRACK.
SPECIAL PILLS
MAKE WOMAN HAPPY.
COMPANY TAKE PILLS AWAY.
WOMAN SUE TO GET BACK ON SPECIAL PILLS.
GOT IT.
Man: DENNY.
MARTIN. HEY.
MARTIN.
YOU REMEMBER ALAN SHORE?
IT'S AN ORNAMENT.
I HEAD THE OFFICE CHEER COMMITTEE.
SINCE I RECEIVED NO LATE NIGHT CALL LAST NIGHT,
I ASSUME WE DIDN'T SETTLE.
WE INFORMED YOUR IN-HOUSE COUNSEL.
I LIKE TO HEAR THINGS FROM YOU.
I FEEL I HAVE A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOU.
WE DIDN'T SETTLE.
I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS.
EVERY LEGAL OPINION I'VE GOTTEN
SAYS THE MERITS FALL ONE-SIDEDLY IN OUR FAVOR.
LEGAL OPINIONS ONLY GO TO THE LAW, MR. JEFFRIES.
I HAD OPPORTUNITY TO VIEW
THE PLAINTIFF'S VIDEOTAPED DEPOSITION.
SHE COMES OFF AS AN EXTREMELY SYMPATHETIC AND LIKABLE PERSON.
AND?
YOU DON'T.
OUR FEAR, AND THE PLAINTIFF'S HOPE,
IS THAT THE JURY WILL LIKE HER
AND FEEL FOR HER PAIN AND ATTEMPT TO ALLEVIATE
SAID PAIN WITH MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF YOUR DOLLARS.
I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION
I HIRED ATTORNEYS WHO COULD EMPLOY REASON
AND INTELLECT TO OFFSET THE EMOTION
INURING TO THE PLAINTIFF'S FAVOR.
DID I HIRE THE WRONG LAW FIRM, MR. SHORE?
CERTAINLY NOT, SIR. YOU'VE HIRED THE BEST.
PAUL.
THE MYERS AGE DISCRIMINATION CASE.
WE JUST GOT THE DVD-ROM DELIVERED.
6,500 PAGES OF McNAMARA DOCUMENTS,
EVERY USELESS DOCUMENT THEY COULD DUMP ON HERE.
WELL, THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT READY,
AND THIS IS MEANT TO SLOW US DOWN.
RIGHT, AND THEY WANT TO FORCE US TO ASK FOR A CONTINUANCE
BECAUSE THEY KNOW JUDGE SIMMONS WON'T GIVE THEM ANYMORE.
WELL, WE WON'T BE ASKING FOR ONE. UH, MISS HEEP.
UH, MISS WILSON. WE HAVE A TRIAL NEXT WEEK.
LORI WILL FILL YOU IN.
I WANT YOU TO POUR THROUGH THIS DOCUMENT.
THE LIKELIHOOD IS IT CONTAINS NOTHING RELEVANT,
BUT WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
LORI WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO LOOK FOR.
I'M SORRY. UM...
CAN YOU GET SOMEBODY TO TAKE MY PLACE ON THIS, PLEASE?
YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE MORE PRESSING?
NO, BUT I PREFER NOT TO WORK ON THIS CASE.
WHY NOT?
IT'S PERSONAL.
YOU'RE MAKING IT PROFESSIONAL.
I-I'M JUST NOT --
I-I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WORKING WITH TARA.
BECAUSE?
I USED TO SLEEP WITH ALAN SHORE, AND NOW SHE DOES.
AND SHE WANTS TO.
I DO NOT.
HOW DARE YOU MAKE A REMARK TO ONE OF THE MOST SENIOR PARTNERS
OF THIS FIRM THAT I WANT TO SLEEP
WITH ANOTHER ASSOCIATE HERE. EVEN IF I DID WANT
TO SLEEP WITH ALAN SHORE, WHICH, I ASSURE YOU, I DO NOT,
BUT EVEN IF YOUR REMARK WAS TRUTHFUL,
IT WOULD NOT MAKE IT ANY LESS INAPPROPRIATE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I APOLOGIZE.
DO YOU BEAR SOME ILL WILL TOWARDS ME?
NO.
I SUPPOSE I REGRESSED TO THE CHILDISH DEFENSE
THAT "EVERYBODY ELSE IS DOING IT."
BUT I'M NOT DOING IT, TARA. I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH MR. SHORE,
WHICH YOU VERY WELL KNOW.
I ONLY SAID YOU WANTED TO.
AND, AGAIN, I APOLOGIZE.
MY REMARK WAS, AS YOU SAY, COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE...
HOWEVER ACCURATE.
I HAVE HAD TYPE II DIABETES SINCE I WAS 25.
IT'S BEEN THE SAME MEDICINES PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE TIME.
AND WHEN YOU WERE INVITED TO PARTICIPATE
IN A CLINICAL TRIAL OF SV-113,
WHAT DID YOUR DAILY REGIMEN BECOME?
I TOOK ONE PILL IN THE MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP.
THAT'S ALL?
THAT WAS IT. I HAD MORE ENERGY,
I WAS EVEN LOSING WEIGHT, AND NO MORE NEEDLES.
IT WAS A GODSEND
UNTIL THEY TOOK IT AWAY.
AND HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
MY DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT THE COMPANY
HAD KICKED ME OFF THE TEST.
HE SAID THAT I HAD BROKEN THE RULES OF THE TRIAL,
BUT I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
AND AFTER YOU WERE TAKEN OFF THE TEST?
MY HEALTH DETERIORATED AGAIN RAPIDLY.
CAN YOU TELL US YOUR PROGNOSIS TODAY?
I'M DYING.
I'VE GOT PROBABLY FIVE TO SIX YEARS,
UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES DRASTICALLY.
WHAT REASON DID THE COMPANY GIVE FOR REMOVING YOU
FROM THE SV-113 STUDY?
NONCOMPLIANCE, BUT I COMPLIED.
YOU'RE A HEAVY SMOKER, IS THAT CORRECT, MRS. HEWITT?
I QUIT.
WHEN DID YOU QUIT, IF I MAY ASK?
A WEEK BEFORE THE STUDY.
JUST LIKE THAT -- TWO PACKS A DAY.
COLD TURKEY.
MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.
SOME OF THE DOCTORS AND CLINICIANS,
UH, SMELLED CIGARETTE SMOKE ON YOU DURING YOUR EXAMS.
MY HUSBAND'S A CHAIN SMOKER.
IT WAS HIS SMOKE THEY SMELLED ON MY CLOTHES.
AMAZING. YOU SMOKED TWO PACKS A DAY,
YOU LIVE WITH A CHAIN SMOKER, AND YOU'RE ABLE TO JUST...
QUIT COLD TURKEY. OBJECTION.
SUSTAINED.
MRS. HEWITT, 177 MILLION PEOPLE
IN THE WORLD HAVE DIABETES.
THIS DRUG STUDY IS THE ONLY WAY
TO GET SV-113 --
THE DRUG YOU YOURSELF CALLED A GODSEND --
APPROVED FOR SALE.
177 MILLION PEOPLE ARE COUNTING ON YOU
TO FOLLOW THE RULES, MRS. HEWITT.
WHICH I DID.
WITH THE STAKES BEING SO ENORMOUSLY HIGH,
WITH SOME 70,000 PEOPLE DYING EVERY YEAR
FROM DIABETES
WITH A DESPERATE NEED TO DEVELOP A DRUG
THAT CAN SAVE THOSE LIVES,
YOU REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS
FOR MY CLIENT NOT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES, DON'T YOU?
I FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES.
ALL IN ALL, I DON'T THINK SHE HURT US.
SHE HURT US. I SAW THE JURY.
HOW BADLY SHE HURT US -- WHERE'S OUR EXPERT?
SHOULD BE WAITING IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM.
I'LL MEET YOU THERE.
SALLY, MAY I OFFER YOU ONE LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE?
OKAY.
YOU'RE AN EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN.
THANKS FOR THE TIP.
THAT'S NOT THE ADVICE. THE ADVICE IS,
BE AWARE OF LECHEROUS SENIOR PARTNERS
WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE SLIGHTEST EXCUSE
TO PLANT A BIG WET ONE ON YOU.
EXCUSE ME?
THEY LURK, AND WHEN BEAUTIFUL WOMEN SUCH AS YOURSELF
STAND UNDER THE MISTLETOE...
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SAL-- LET'S GO MEET OUR EXPERT, DENNY.
[ Groans ] I HAD A BLOOD FLOW GOING. NO DOUBT.
DR. GERARD.
YES.
DENNY CRANE.
SINGLE.
ALAN SHORE.
HELLO.
VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
WELL, SHOULD WE GET STARTED?
WE SHOULD. I'M AFRAID IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY LONG NIGHT.
I'LL NEED TO GO OVER EVERY INCH OF YOU WITH A FINE-TOOTHED COMB.
I BEG YOUR PARDON -- YOUR TESTIMONY.
I'LL NEED TO GO OVER YOUR TESTIMONY
WITH THE COMB.
WHERE ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS?
RIGHT HERE.
IT'S NOT MY CASE, RENéE. IT'S LORI'S.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS. HANG ON.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE LORI IS?
NO, I GOTTA RUN. I GOT THAT DINNER THING.
OKAY, GO.
NEED A RIDE ANYWHERE?
NO, THANKS. MY CAR'S IN THE GARAGE.
ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT'S THE BIG EMERGENCY?
WELL, IF YOU HAVE HIM ON THE PHONE, THEN ASK HIM.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING I'M OFFERING.
SINCE WE TURNED OVER THAT CD THE LAST SECOND,
WE WON'T OPPOSE A CONTINUANCE IF YOU PEOPLE WANT IT.
SAY YOU NEED TO PAGE LORI, ASK IF SHE CAN CALL HIM LATER,
AND THEN GET HIS CELL PHONE NUMBER.
YEAH. THAT'LL BE GREAT.
UH, MY NUMBER'S 617-555-0194.
THANKS.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
CAN I GET A BEER?
OH! OH! FANTASTIC.
OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S OKAY. I'M EMBARRASSED.
I'LL PAY FOR THE DRY CLEANING, I ASSURE YOU.
IT'S OKAY. REALLY.
SO BESIDES MS. HEWITT,
THERE WERE 56 OTHER PEOPLE REMOVED FROM THE STUDY.
FOR A DRUG OF THIS MAGNITUDE,
WE HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS.
BUT WHAT MOTIVATED YOUR CAUTION?
PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS MORE THAN A HUNCH.
AFTER ALL, THESE PEOPLE DO SUFFER FROM
A CRIPPLING, LIFE-THREATENING DISEASE, DOCTOR.
AS DO I.
I'M VERY SORRY.
I UNDERSTAND THE PROMISE OF A DRUG LIKE THIS
ON A VERY PERSONAL LEVEL, MR. SHORE.
BUT IF IT ENDANGERS PEOPLE --
HOW DOES IT ENDANGER PEOPLE?
HOW ARE THESE 57 PEOPLE ENDANGERED
BY SV-113?
57 -- THAT'S AN EXCEPTIONALLY LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE
TO PURGE, ISN'T IT, DOCTOR?
HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE ENDANGERED?
THEY WEREN'T.
MARYBETH HEWITT AND THE 56 OTHERS
WERE ON A DIFFERENT DRUG.
IT WAS A SLIGHT VARIATION FROM SV-113
THAT WE HAD ONLY BEGUN TO INVESTIGATE.
THESE PEOPLE -- THEY KNEW THEY WERE ON THIS OTHER DRUG.
NO.
SO YOU GAVE AN EXPERIMENTAL, UNPROVED DRUG
TO 57 PEOPLE
AND TOLD THEM THEY WERE TAKING SOMETHING ELSE?
BUT AS SOON AS WE BECAME AWARE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS --
THE HEADACHES?
THERE WAS ONSET OF ACUTE LIVER DAMAGE
AT ABOUT SIX WEEKS.
THERE WAS ONE PRIOR SUBJECT WHO WENT FIRST,
AND COMPLICATIONS...
PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME AS IF --
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE IMPELLED YOU
TO DELUDE THESE PEOPLE?
YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND.
IT TAKES YEARS TO GET A DRUG APPROVED.
AND WHEN YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE,
I THOUGHT -- THE COMPANY THOUGHT --
THAT WE HAD THE NEXT POLIO VACCINE
OR PENICILLIN.
EXCEPT YOUR PENICILLIN TURNED OUT TO BE A POISON.
BUT AS SOON AS WE DISCOVERED IT,
THE COMPANY SHUT THE STUDY DOWN.
THAT'S WHY MRS. HEWITT WAS TAKEN OFF THE DRUG
SHE THINKS WAS SV-113 --
TO PREVENT LIVER FAILURE.
SO YOU'RE A THERAPIST.
DE FACTO THERAPIST.
I'M REALLY A FLIGHT ATTENDANT,
BUT EVERYBODY TELLS ME THEIR PROBLEMS.
WELL, DO YOU SOLVE THEM?
I DO, ACTUALLY.
WELL, TELL ME MINE. I'M SORRY?
MY PROBLEM.
WHAT AM I LAMENTING AT THIS VERY MOMENT?
I'M EMBARRASSED TO SAY, ACTUALLY.
I INSIST. TELL ME.
YOU'RE WISHING YOUR GIRLFRIEND LOOKED LIKE ME.
KEEP GOING.
YOU HATE YOUR JOB.
WHICH IS?
I WANT TO SAY ACCOUNTANT... BUT I'M GOING TO SAY LAWYER.
AM I THAT OBVIOUS?
I MEET LAWYERS ALL THE TIME. THEY FLY A LOT.
THEY'RE CONSTANTLY IN DISTRESS
OVER ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS THEY HAVE TO DO
FOR THEIR HORRIBLE CLIENTS.
WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON RIGHT NOW?
A HORRIBLE CASE FOR A HORRIBLE CLIENT.
IT'S AGE DISCRIMINATION.
MM. PLAINTIFF OR DEFENSE?
DEFENSE.
OOH, BAD BOY.
MM-HMM. INDEED.
WHISTLE-BLOWER?
YES. NOW, THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF PROTECTIONS
TO AVAIL YOURSELF OF SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO --
YOU'RE ADVISING A WITNESS TO TURN STATE'S EVIDENCE
AGAINST YOUR OWN CLIENT?
I AM.
LOOK, I WAS THE ONE WHO PUSHED THE STUDY.
I WAS THE ONE WHO PUT THOSE PEOPLE ON THAT DRUG.
AND I SUSPECT YOU WERE MOTIVATED BY THE DRUG'S PROMISE,
WHILE YOUR EMPLOYER WAS MOTIVATED BY GREED.
CAN'T YOU GET DISBARRED FOR ADVISING ME TO --
UNDOUBTEDLY.
AND SHOULD YOU LOSE YOUR LICENSE,
WE COULD RUN OFF TO BALI TOGETHER AND BECOME BARTENDERS.
MY LIFE IS HERE...
IN MEDICINE.
YES.
AND YOU ARE IN A UNIQUE POSITION
TO REMIND YOUR EMPLOYER
THEY, TOO, ARE IN THE BUSINESS OF MEDICINE,
NOT SIMPLY PROFIT.
YOU NEED TO BLOW THE WHISTLE,
AND WHAT'S MORE, YOU WANT TO.
[ PIANO PLAYING ]
* IT'S A HOLLY, JOLLY CHRISTMAS *
* BEST TIME OF THE YEAR
* I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'LL BE SNOW *
* BUT HAVE A CUP OF CHEER
* IT'S A HOLLY, JOLLY CHRISTMAS *
* AND WHEN YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET *
* SAY HELLO TO FRIENDS YOU KNOW *
* AND EVERYONE YOU MEET
HEY.
DENNY?
SET TO GO?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, SOME OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY NEXT WEEK, I DO A NUMBER.
IT'S GOOD FOR MORALE, HELPS GET ME LAID.
ARE WE OFF TO COURT?
ACTUALLY, I HAVE A FEELING
COURT WON'T BE GOING FORWARD TODAY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?
WAS I IN THE ROOM WHEN IT HAPPENED?
IT SEEMS OUR CLIENT IS GUILTY
OF A LITTLE NONCOMPLIANCE AS WELL.
THE ACTUAL TEST THAT --
WE REPRESENT BIG DRUG COMPANY.
I'M WITH YOU.
BIG DRUG COMPANY TELL PATIENTS
THEY TAKE ONE PILL WHILE SLIPPING THEM ANOTHER.
YOU KNOW THIS HOW?
EVIDENTLY, OUR EXPERT WITNESS COMES ARMED
NOT ONLY WITH DETAILS, BUT A CONSCIENCE.
SHE TOLD ME.
I BELIEVE SHE PLANS TO TELL THE FDA.
WHOA.
WHISTLE-BLOWER.
DID YOU TELL HER TO WHISTLE-BLOW?
I MIGHT HAVE MENTIONED IT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS CLIENT
IS WORTH TO THIS FIRM...
AND TO ME, PERSONALLY?
NUTS. I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING I FORGOT TO CONSIDER.
WHERE IS THIS WOMAN?
HOPEFULLY, WITH THE U.S. ATTORNEY BY NOW.
OH, I'M SORRY. MR. SHORE, THERE'S A DR. GERARD
WAITING IN RECEPTION.
SEND HER IN.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO AND GREET HER --
SEND THE WOMAN IN HERE.
HERE'S GOOD.
OH, TARA, WE HAVE A PRE-TRIAL CONFERENCE SET
ON McNAMARA AT 2:00. HOW ARE YOU AND SALLY DOING --
REMEMBER THE DOCUMENT THAT SAID THAT McNAMARA WAS INCORPORATED
IN "19-EFFICIENCY-3," WE THOUGHT IT WAS A TYPO?
YEAH. WELL, CODE BROKEN.
THEY HAD A PLAN CALLED THE 40 FACTOR,
WHICH WAS DESIGNED TO PHASE OUT WORKERS
WHO WERE 40 AND OLDER.
AND REPLACE THEM WITH YOUNGER EMPLOYEES
WHO WOULD COST THE COMPANY LESS.
RIGHT.
THEY ACTUALLY DESCRIBED THE PLAN IN MEMORANDA
WHICH WERE ARCHIVED ON THE COMPANY'S HARD DRIVES.
GOTTA LOVE THE HUBRIS.
BUT THEY THEN GOT NERVOUS AND DID A SEARCH AND REPLACE
TO SUBSTITUTE THE WORD "EFFICIENCY" FOR "40."
AND "1943" BECAME "19-EFFICIENCY-3."
EXACTLY. HOW DID YOU FIND THIS OUT?
I HAD DRINKS WITH OPPOSING COUNSEL LAST NIGHT.
QUITE A TALKER.
WAIT A SECOND. HE ADMITTED THIS TO YOU?
WELL, ACTUALLY, HE ADMITTED IT TO A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.
HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS AN ATTORNEY FOR THE OTHER SIDE.
WE'RE NOT SMILING. WHY ARE WE NOT SMILING?
TARA, WE CAN'T USE THIS INFORMATION.
I BEG YOUR PARDON? YOU TRICKED ANOTHER ATTORNEY
INTO VIOLATING PRIVILEGE. YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
LAST WEEK, YOU IMPERSONATED A DOCTOR.
FIRST, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
SECOND, THE STAKES WERE LIFE AND DEATH.
LORI --
AND THIRD, I WAS WRONG.
IN RETROSPECT, I WOULD NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
WELL, WE HAVE THE INFORMATION, LORI.
SO, IF IT'S A MATTER OF ETHICS,
WE ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TELL THE CLIENT THAT WE HAVE IT.
I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT.
BECAUSE?
ALAN, THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME
FOR 10 YEARS.
NOW, BY PEOPLE, YOU MEAN THESE CORPORATE PEOPLE
WHO JEOPARDIZE PUBLIC HEALTH AND SAFETY
ON A MASSIVE SCALE IN ORDER TO LINE THEIR POCKETS?
THEY WERE CONVINCED WE HAD A POSSIBLE CURE
BASED ON MY REPRESENTATIONS.
I WOULD AS SOON BLOW THE WHISTLE ON MYSELF --
DO THAT THEN.
AND WHAT GOOD WOULD COME OF IT -- REALLY?
MAY I EXPRESS A THOUGHT? I SO RARELY GET ONE.
AND I SHOULD PREFACE THIS BY ADMITTING THAT
I'M SO FAR UP THE ASS OF BIG BUSINESS,
I VIEW THE WORLD AS ONE GIANT COLON.
YOU'RE RIGHT TO PRIORITIZE LOYALTY, DOCTOR.
LOYALTIES COUNT FOR SOMETHING.
DENNY, PLEASE. I'M SPEAKING, ALAN.
DOCTORS LIKE SCIENCE, RIGHT? THEY DO THE MATH.
WELL, DO THE MATH ON WHISTLE-BLOWING.
NICE CONCEPT, IN THEORY.
APPEALS TO THE ALTRUISTIC INNER SELF AND ALL THAT,
BUT WHISTLE-BLOWERS END UP PENNILESS
AND OSTRACIZED.
THIS THING'LL TAKE YEARS TO GET TO COURT
WHILE YOUR LIFE WILL BE RUINED TOMORROW.
DENNY, I CAN -- IF ALAN SHORE SUGGESTS
THAT YOU WON'T GET HURT FAR WORSE THAN YOUR COMPANY,
HE'S LYING.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OUR CLIENT IS VIOLATING
AT LEAST A HALF A DOZEN CRIMINAL LAWS
BY SECRETLY TESTING AN UNAPPROVED DRUG --
WHICH CAUSES LIVER FAILURE, BY THE WAY --
ON UNWITTING HUMAN GUINEA PIGS.
DR. GERARD IS CONSIDERING WHETHER TO GO PUBLIC --
I'M FOR IT, DENNY'S AGAINST.
DO YOU HAVE A VOTE?
YOU SEEM LIKE A MAN WITH A SCINTILLA OF MORALITY.
ALAN, MY VOTE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT COUNTS.
AND I'M NOT GOING PUBLIC.
YOU SAY THAT AS IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE, DOCTOR.
YOU SEE, THE ONLY WAY OUR CLIENT WINS HERE
IS WITH YOUR TESTIMONY.
SO, THE CLERK WILL SWEAR YOU IN,
YOU'LL TAKE AN OATH TO GOD. BUT AS A SCIENTIST,
YOU ARE BOUND TO AN EVEN HIGHER STANDARD.
TO BELIEVE IN GOD, ALL YOU NEED IS FAITH.
TO BELIEVE IN SCIENCE, YOU NEED TO SEE THE TRUTH.
YOU NEED TO SPEAK THE TRUTH, AM I RIGHT?
IF ASKED CERTAIN QUESTIONS UNDER OATH,
YOU WILL ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
BECAUSE THAT'S WHO YOU ARE.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
AND YOU WOULD NEVER ASK ME QUESTIONS
THAT WOULD TORPEDO YOUR OWN CASE.
AH, IT SEEMS IT'S YOU THAT DOESN'T KNOW ME.
ISN'T IT EXCITING?
IT'S ABSOLUTELY UNETHICAL, TARA, FOR GOD'S SAKES.
PLEASE DON'T LECTURE ME. HEY, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH A LECTURE WHEN IT'S CALLED FOR.
ATTORNEYS AT CRANE, POOLE and SCHMIDT
DO NOT GO UNDERCOVER AS STEWARDESSES
TO CIRCUMVENT PRIVILEGE.
IT IS FRAUD, IT IS WRONG, IT IS DISHONEST,
IT HOLDS EVERY MEMBER OF THIS FIRM UP TO DISREPUTE.
BREATHE. AND WHAT'S MORE, IT HURTS
OTHER CLIENTS AT THIS FIRM -- MINE, PAUL'S, LORI'S.
HOW? BREATHE.
OUR REPUTATION FOR FAIR DEALING IS AT PLAY
AT EVERY SETTLEMENT CONFERENCE, EVERY MOTION, EVERY TRIAL.
IF THAT REPUTATION IS COMPROMISED, THE STAIN RUNS
TO ALL CASES, NOT JUST -- BREATHE.
WILL YOU STOP TELLING ME TO BREATHE?
I KNOW HOW AND WHEN TO BREATHE!
THIS IS ABOUT ALAN SHORE.
THIS IS ABOUT SOME NOT-SO-LATENT HOSTILITY --
YOU'RE OUT OF LINE. YOU'RE OUT OF LINE.
YOU FANCY THE PANTS OFF ALAN SHORE,
SO AS LONG AS WE'RE PREACHING HONESTY,
LET'S BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT THAT.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, TARA?
THIS DOES INVOLVE ALAN.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT BAR LAST NIGHT --
YOU HEARD OPPOSING COUNSEL ON HIS CELL PHONE,
YOU SENSED AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY,
AND YOU ASKED YOURSELF, "WHAT WOULD ALAN SHORE DO?"
AND YOU LIKELY DID WHAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE.
OH, AND YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT, SAY, LAST WEEK?
NO, I DID. AND AS I SAID, I WAS WRONG.
THAT'S ALL. YOU CAN GO.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? HAVEN'T DECIDED.
WELL, YOU CAN'T NOT USE -- I HAVEN'T DECIDED, TARA.
YOU'RE DISMISSED.
WELL, I'M SORRY I LOST MY COOL,
BUT YOU HANDLED THAT PERFECTLY.
THANK YOU.
DID THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ALAN?
HOW DOES HE DO IT?
NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS, IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT ALAN.
IT'S JUST A QUESTION.
I SHOULD BE THE EXAMPLE
FOR THE YOUNG ASSOCIATES AROUND HERE, NOT HIM.
WELL, TARA IS ALAN'S GIRLFRIEND.
WELL, WHY IS THAT?
I MEAN, WHY IS SHE INTERESTED IN HIM?
I ASK YOU.
DO YOU FANCY TARA, BRAD?
NO, I'M JUST SPEAKING IN GENERAL TERMS --
ALL THE WOMEN HERE.
YEAH, YOU KEEP SAYING ALL THE WOMEN,
BUT WHO SPECIFICALLY, BRAD?
YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
OKAY.
AND THE POINT IS?
I DEFUSE A HUMAN BOMB.
DOES ANYONE SAY, "OH, ARE YOU OKAY, BRAD?"
"NICE JOB SAVING LIVES, BRAD."
NO, IT'S "TARA CIRCUMVENTED PRIVILEGE
BECAUSE SHE'S SLEEPING WITH ALAN."
I'M THE ONLY ONE TALKING ABOUT TARA AND PRIVILEGE.
IS THIS ABOUT ME?
WE'RE BUDDIES, BRAD. TALK TO ME.
OKAY.
I'D LIKE TO BE MORE THAN BUDDIES.
I DON'T BRING IT UP BECAUSE I SENSE IT'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN PURSUING.
OKAY.
IS IT SOMETHING...
YOU'D LIKE TO PURSUE?
UM,
NO.
RIGHT.
ANYWAY,
YOU HANDLED THE MEETING WELL.
YOU SURPRISED ME, DENNY.
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE WITH ME ON THIS.
THERE'S A DEEPER PRINCIPLE INVOLVED HERE, ALAN.
WHICH IS? FISHING.
THERE'S A FISHING LODGE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA.
IT'S CALLED NEMO BAY --
BEST FISHING LODGE IN THE WORLD.
IN THE GREAT BEAR RAIN FOREST.
HOW DOES THIS LODGE AFFECT --
WANT TO BUY IT. COSTS LOTS OF MONEY.
IF I LOSE THIS CLIENT,
I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO BUY IT.
YOU HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY.
YES, TO BUY OTHER THINGS.
THIS CASE -- THIS CLIENT --
IS EARMARKED FOR THIS FISHING LODGE.
WELL, IF I CAN'T CONVINCE YOU,
I GUESS I CAN'T CONVINCE YOU.
ALAN,
I'LL ASK DR. GERARD THE QUESTIONS THIS AFTERNOON.
I'VE PREPARED THE DIRECT.
I'LL ASK HER THE QUESTIONS. I'M QUESTIONING THE DOCTOR.
NO, YOU AREN'T. NO, YOU AREN'T. YES, I AM. YES, I AM.
NO. NO. YES. YES.
THIS TIME, I WILL CAST A VOTE.
LET ME MAKE THIS SIMPLE FOR YOU, MR. SHORE.
PLEASE, CALL ME ALAN. I FEEL WE'VE GROWN CLOSE.
YOU WILL BE PRESENT IN COURT AT THE TABLE
BECAUSE YOUR SUDDEN ABSENCE WOULD SEND
A STRANGE MESSAGE TO THE JURY
THAT MIGHT COMPROMISE OUR CASE,
BUT DENNY WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS.
IF YOU ATTEMPT
TO ASK THE WITNESS ANYTHING AT ALL,
YOU WILL BE FIRED.
THERE'S A LEGAL TERM FOR THIS.
AH, YES.
OOH.
THIS IS NOT PUFFERY ON MY PART, MR. SHORE.
I HAVE SPOKEN WITH OTHER SENIOR PARTNERS.
WE ARE IN AGREEMENT. THE VOTES ARE IN.
IF YOU ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE OUR CASE
IN ANY WAY,
YOUR EMPLOYMENT WILL BE TERMINATED.
IN THAT EVENT, I WILL GO TO CABLE.
DENNY, YOU AND I SHOULD GO OPEN OUR OWN FIRM.
I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS, ALAN.
I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS ONE LAST THOUGHT, THEN.
DENNY CRANE.
HEY.
HI.
THE LAWYER FROM McNAMARA --
THE GUY TARA DUPED --
HE'LL BE IN HERE AT 2:00.
I'VE SUMMONED TARA AS WELL.
I'LL TRY TO IRON THINGS OUT A LITTLE.
THAT'S GOOD.
IF YOU COULD MAKE IT, THEN --
FINE. 2:00 P.M.
WOULD YOU MIND LOOKING AT ME FOR A SECOND?
YOU AND I HAVE A BIG MURDER TRIAL
SCHEDULED FOR NEXT WEEK.
ARE WE GONNA BE OKAY?
WE'RE FINE.
DO YOU PLAN TO SPEAK TO ME IN MARINE TALK FOREVER?
NO, SIR,
SIR.
YOU'RE A GREAT GUY.
YOU'RE A SMART GUY, AN ATTRACTIVE GUY. ANY GIRL --
MEETING'S AT 2:00.
RIGHT.
2:00.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TO ASK?
DID SHE EXAMINE THE PLAINTIFF?
DID SHE FEEL THE PLAINTIFF COMPLIED
WITH THE STUDY PROTOCOL? SHE'LL ANSWER YES OR NO.
WE'LL GET INTO A BUNCH OF RHETORIC
ABOUT THE NEED FOR SAFEGUARDS,
AND THEN WE'LL GO HAVE A CHEESESTEAK.
AND YOU CAN LIVE WITH YOURSELF?
DENNY CRANE.
[ ALARM SOUNDS ]
ARMS OUT, PLEASE.
OH, THIS ISN'T MINE.
WHY WOULD I BE CARRYING AROUND AN ICE PICK?
PLEASE EMPTY OUT ALL YOUR POCKETS, SIR.
ALAN!
YOU'LL NEED TO OPEN YOUR BRIEFCASE, SIR.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
YOU'LL NEED TO OPEN YOUR CASE.
ALAN!
CAN YOU STEP THIS WAY, SIR?
WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA CHECK MY SHOES FOR BOMBS?
SIR, IT'S A FEDERAL OFFENSE TO JOKE
ABOUT POSSESSING EXPLOSIVES AT A SECURITY CHECKPOINT.
I'VE GOTTA GET UPSTAIRS.
TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES, SIR.
WHERE'S DENNY?
HE GOT HELD UP. NOT TO WORRY.
MR. SHORE, ARE WE READY TO PROCEED?
WE ARE, YOUR HONOR.
THE DEFENSE CALLS DR. AMANDA GERARD.
WE'RE AT THE PART WHERE YOU SWEAR UNDER OATH.
[ ALARM RINGS ]
OKAY, LET'S EVACUATE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION, PLEASE.
[ ALARM STOPS ]
IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO PULL FIRE ALARMS, SIR.
MY HAND SLIPPED.
TELL JUDGE WALLACE IN DIVISION THREE,
I NEED TO SEE HIM IN HIS CHAMBERS NOW.
WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IS THIS?
YOU PUT AN ICE PICK IN HIS POCKET,
AND A PICTURE OF SADDAM HUSSEIN? YOU PULL A FIRE ALARM?
WE'RE AT ODDS AS TO HOW TO PROCEED WITH A WITNESS.
YES, I HEARD THAT. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS,
FOR GOD'S SAKE. YOU'RE LAWYERS.
AND ON THE SAME SIDE AT THAT!
YOUR HONOR, THERE ARE UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCES IN PLAY.
I'M INTERESTED IN TRUTH AND JUSTICE,
MY COLLEAGUE FAVORS A FISHING LODGE.
LOOK, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOUR DIFFERENCES ARE.
FIRST OFF, YOUR FIRM IS FINED $50,000.
WHAT?
SECOND, WHATEVER EITHER OF YOU DO IN THAT COURTROOM,
YOU BOTH GET HELD RESPONSIBLE. YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
THIRD, MR. CRANE, SINCE YOU'RE THE NAMED PARTNER,
AND IT IS YOUR CLIENT, I'LL LET YOU HAVE THE FLOOR.
YOUR HONOR, I HAVE PREPARED --
YOU WILL KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, MR. SHORE.
NOW, LET'S GET BACK INSIDE.
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, TARA.
TARA?
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S -- WHAT'S GOING ON?
WE HAVE A SITUATION, MR. BARR.
TARA IS AN ATTORNEY WHO WORKS FOR THIS FIRM.
THINKING SHE WORKED FOR THE AIRLINES,
YOU GAVE HER INFORMATION ABOUT AN EFFICIENCY FACTOR
EMPLOYED BY YOUR CLIENT.
THIS WOULD BE CONSIDERED PRIVILEGED INFORMATION.
I NEVER REVEALED WHO MY CLIENT WAS.
WE ALREADY KNEW WHO THE CLIENT WAS.
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
BOTH YOU AND MS. WILSON --
THAT'S HER REAL LAST NAME -- WILSON --
BOTH YOU AND SHE HAVE COMMITTED SERIOUS VIOLATIONS.
YOU WOULD LIKELY LOSE YOUR JOB AND GET A SUSPENSION.
YOU WOULD GET WORSE.
IT WOULD BE IN THE BEST INTEREST OF ALL
IF THIS SITUATION DIDN'T BECOME PUBLIC.
MY PROBLEM, AS TARA CORRECTLY POINTS OUT,
IS HAVING THE INFORMATION.
I HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO AT LEAST TELL MY CLIENTS --
WHO UNDOUBTEDLY WOULD ELECT TO USE IT.
BUT I ALSO HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SAFEGUARD PRIVILEGE,
EVEN WHEN IT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE.
SO, AS I SAID, WE'VE GOT A SITUATION.
WHERE WE LAST LEFT OFF IN SETTLEMENT DISCUSSIONS,
OUR NUMBER WAS 3.2 MILLION,
YOURS WAS 2.1.
THE DEAL PROBABLY MAKES SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.
MY PROPOSAL TO YOU, MR. BARR, IS WE SETTLE IT AT 3.
I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER SELL IT.
YOU SELL IT BY TELLING YOUR CLIENT AND COLLEAGUES
THAT THE OPPOSING SIDE KNOWS ABOUT THE EFFICIENCY FACTOR.
WE'VE BROKEN THE CODE.
HOW WE FOUND OUT, WE WON'T REVEAL.
THAT PROTECTS YOU AND PROTECTS TARA.
AND YOU PROFIT FROM HER DECEPTION.
WE PROFIT SOMEWHAT FROM HER DECEPTION,
COMBINED WITH YOUR STUPIDITY.
BUT IF WE REALLY WANTED TO EXPLOIT THIS,
WE'D GO TO TRIAL AND TELL A JURY,
WHICH, TECHNICALLY, I SHOULD ADVISE MY CLIENTS TO DO.
YES, OUR SIDE PROFITS SOME.
YOUR SIDE GETS OFF WITH A PRETTY MILD NUMBER,
GIVEN THE SMOKING GUN.
AND YOU TWO GET OFF WITH YOUR CAREERS.
NOW, IF YOU HAVE A BETTER PROPOSAL,
I'M LISTENING.
Dr. Gerard: IT WASN'T JUST MY DETERMINATION,
BUT THE CONSENSUS OF ALL THE TREATING DOCTORS.
MRS. HEWITT WAS SMOKING.
AND OTHERS WERE EXCLUDED, TOO, RIGHT?
YES, 56 OTHERS. IT IS COMMON
TO WEED OUT SUBJECTS AS YOU GO ALONG
IN ORDER TO PROTECT THE INTEGRITY OF THE STUDY.
AND THIS WAS ALL ABOUT THE INTEGRITY OF THE STUDY?
YES.
I BELIEVE YOU.
YOU STRIKE ME AS AN HONEST WOMAN.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, DOCTOR?
I DO.
"GOD IS MY WITNESS" IS WHAT IS SAYS IN THE OATH.
I-I LIKE TO THINK GOD WATCHES OVER ME, TOO.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE,
IN THE PRIVACY OF MY BEDROOM COMMITTING LEWD ACTS.
MR. CRANE!
UH, YOU'RE A SCIENTIST, RIGHT, DOCTOR?
YOU BELIEVE IN FACTS, THE TRUTH?
YES. GOOD, WILL YOU TELL THE COURT
EXACTLY WHY MARYBETH HEWITT WAS REMOVED
FROM THE TRIAL OF SV-113?
I JUST DID.
YOU SAID SMOKING.
THE PLAINTIFF OBVIOUSLY BELIEVES THAT TO BE A PRETEXT.
I'M ASKING YOU TO DECLARE IT ONE MORE TIME BEFORE GOD,
THE JUDGE, MR. SHORE, ME...
THE TRUTH.
WHY WAS SHE TAKEN OFF THE STUDY?
SHE WAS TAKEN OFF...
A DIFFERENT STUDY.
EXCUSE ME?
MRS. HEWITT UNKNOWINGLY WAS PART OF A SECRET TEST
INVOLVING A DRUG UNAPPROVED FOR STUDY.
WHEN IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT THIS DRUG CAUSED LIVER FAILURE,
SHE AND THE 56 OTHERS ON IT
WERE TAKEN OFF.
UH, YOUR HONOR, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
AN UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT.
I NEED SOME TIME TO CONFER WITH MY CLIENT.
I THOUGHT SHE'D STICK TO THE STORY.
I THREW HER THE BIGGEST SOFTBALL I COULD,
RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLATE.
ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS REEMPHASIZE IT WAS SMOKING.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
THE PEAT MOSS HITS THE FAN,
YOU LYING BASTARD. WE'RE DEAD.
DID YOU ELICIT THAT TESTIMONY INTENTIONALLY?
WHAT? OF COURSE NOT. YOU KNOW ME, PAUL.
I'M NOT WHAT I ONCE WAS.
DOCTOR.
PLEASE DON'T SAY YOU'RE PROUD OF ME.
THEY'RE GONNA BRING CRIMINAL CHARGES AGAINST YOU.
HOW ABOUT IF I SAY I'LL DEFEND YOU?
REALLY, AND WHAT'S MY DEFENSE?
YOU WERE MISGUIDED BY THE BEST
AND THE WORST OF INTENTIONS.
THIS WILL ALL BE OVER WITH IN A YEAR.
A YEAR IS TOO LONG. MY LIVER IS FAILING.
I WAS THE FIRST SUBJECT.
I BEGAN THE TRIAL AHEAD OF THE OTHERS.
THAT'S HOW WE DISCOVERED THE SIDE EFFECTS.
A YEAR'S TOO LONG FOR ME.
BUT THANKS FOR THE OFFER.
* IT'S A HOLLY, JOLLY CHRISTMAS *
* IT'S THE BEST --
* IT'S THE -- OH, SCREW IT.
HMM.
* IT'S A HOLLY...
NICE PERFORMANCE TODAY, DENNY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU COULD HAVE EVER SO SLIGHTLY TIPPED ME OFF.
IT WOULD HAVE SAVED A LOT OF AGGRAVATION.
OH, PLEASE. IF I HAD INCLUDED YOU
WITH SO MUCH AS A WINK, YOU'D BE CANNED.
WE LOST THE CLIENT.
WELL,
THERE ARE LESSER FISHING LODGES.
NO REPERCUSSIONS FROM LEWISTON?
I'M DENNY CRANE.
AS FAR AS HE KNOWS,
I PLAYED IT STRAIGHT.
YOU KNOW, THEY CAN NEVER TELL
WHETHER I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING OR NOT.
YES.
CAN YOU TELL?
NOT REALLY.
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
JUST TO KEEP THEM GUESSING,
I STICK A CIGAR IN MY EAR.
DO I LOOK SILLY?
TRY IT.
WE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER.
YES, WE DO.
Alan: NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...
DO YOU BELIEVE ME? I CERTAINLY WANT TO BELIEVE YOU,
BUT WHEN I LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE, I DON'T KNOW.
WHY ARE YOU WOMEN IN MY OFFICE?
DENNY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?
I THINK I DO. LET'S TAKE OFF OUR CLOTHES.
ARE YOU ALAN SHORE? NOT IF YOU'RE A PROCESS SERVER.
AHH! SHUT UP!
SIR -- AND YOU, SHUT UP!