CHARLIE: Once upon a time,
there were three little girls who went to the police academy,
two in Los Ange/es. ..
the other, in San Francisco,
and they were each assigned very hazardous duties...
hut / took them away from all that,
and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.
W]
Left 28.
Right 47.
Left 19.
I have it. Right. Bye.
Let me get it.
Don't be silly, my sweet.
Why bother with pretense
when everyone around us knows exactly what you are.
But... I love you.
Of course you do, my pet.
And cows have wings.
W]
[TRAFFIC HONKING FAINTLY]
[HARNESS CLINKS]
[SAFE CLICKING]
What's the matter with you tonight?
I'm bored.
Desperately bored.
Look...
If it's something I've done--
What you do, darling, you do well enough.
But then so do so many others.
You know, I'm afraid it's time for one of us to run along.
And, since I live here...
Now, wait a minute!
It's not that easy!
What about my boat?
Your boat?
Yeah.
I'm gonna lose it, if you don't give me that loan.
I mean, uh, you promised.
Did I?
Well, I say so many things when I'm feeling blue,
and in need of... company.
Look, you can't do this to me!
You promised!
I'm not one of your two-bit studs!
That's exactly what you are!
And if you think you're going to get more
than nickels and dimes out of me...
Denny, put that toy away!
Everyone knows you carry it because you're a
poor little bunny who's scared ofthe big bad world!
You're not man enough to use it!
You're wrong.
[GUNSHOT]
Seawave's been my home ever since it was built.
I started as a secretary.
Worked my way up to manager.
A little late in life
to be starting on my career, perhaps.
I think it's lovely.
Thank you, dear. You're welcome.
I've enjoyed every minute of it.
Until now...
This wasn't the first time you've been robbed, was it?
No. There has been a series ofjewel robberies
in the Marina area in the last two years.
This is the third time the Seawave has been victimized.
But it's the first time anyone's been killed.
All the work of the same person?
Charlie?
Yes.
Similar MO's in each case, Kris.
But a killing doesn't fit the pattern.
But caught with his hand in the cookie jar,
the burglar might have panicked.
That's the way the police see it.
The Seawave's a residential hotel, isn't it?
Yes, that's right.
We have several wealthy permanent tenants.
We've even installed private sales
in each suite for their valuables.
Do you know how the burglar opens the safes?
Nobody knows.
There's no sign of forced entry,
and the manufacturer claims they're uncrackable.
We've tried changing the combinations
on every sale after each robbery,
and it doesn't slow down the burglar one bit.
There aren't any clues at all?
Well, he was seen
running out the tire exit door
shortly after the shot was heard.
But not well enough to get a description.
Sounds like he did panic.
Oh, please, will you help me!
The other tenants are threatening to leave!
A scandal like this could close down the Seawave!
It... it's my home.
I wouldn't know what to do ifthat happened...
Charlie?
Does your hotel have any vacancies, Catherine?
CATHERINE: Well, yes. We do.
You're about to have some very lovely new guests.
WI
Mother?
The police think I did it.
0h...
They don't know you as I do.
You wouldn't hurt anyone.
No...
ljust rob people.
Well, every boy must have his career.
Well, you're not sorry, are you?
That I put my talents to such profitable use?
Oh, Teddy. How could I be?
You're such a good son.
You look after your mother...
very well.
You realize you may be in some danger.
Well, I can't just run away, Mother.
The police would find that highly suspicious.
But I can go get the mail.
Huh!
Here you are, Mr. Machlin.
Miss Deveraux?
Kelly Deveraux. From New Orleans.
Well, welcome to the Seawave Hotel.
You're most kind.
Our managerwill show you to your room in just a moment.
Thank you very much.
[SWEDISH ACCENT] Mr. Bosley!
Hello. Thank you for coming!
At your service, Miss Bjornbar.
[MIMICKING BJORNBAR] Thank you?
Oh that's Annika Bjornbar, the famous Swedish actress.
I don't believe I've ever heard of her.
Would you show me to my room, please.
This way.
Thank you.
You will get a good price for me?
That should not be too difficult.
Thank you. This way.
The clientele here is not what it used to be.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody settled in?
With great fanfare.
But the burglar can't be one of our guests.
Well, maybe not.
But whoever it is seems to know who might make likely victims.
So that means there's somebody around here
keeping an eye on things.
It's so cold blooded.
Yes, it is.
Do you remember seeing anyone with Julie Redmond
who wasn't a guest here?
Yes, there's that sailing instructor
I think he calls himself.
What's his name?
Denny something.
But Mrs. Redmond said he came to town
a couple months ago,
so I don't think he could be the burglar.
Well, it wouldn't hurt to check him out.
Yeah as a matter of fact there is.
Now the police think that the burglar picked the lock
on Mrs. Redmond's apartment, don't they?
Yes.
The window in her bedroom was open,
but her apartment's on an upper floor.
What about the roof?
Well, there's just one door to the roof,
and I have the key right here in the office.
Could I borrow it?
Yes.
I'd like to take a look around up there
after everything has quieted down this evening.
Uh-huh. There you go. Thank you very much.
I can't get 14 down...
See you later.
You will be careful, won't you?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
I got a guardian angel keeps an eye on me!
We ought to be right over the Redmond apartment now.
Yeah. I'll take your word for it.
[CAR HONKS]
Ungh!
Whoa!
Hello.
[KNOCKING]
SABRINA: Hello. Hello?
Hello there. Excuse me for dropping in so late.
I'm with the Marina Botanical Society.
by your honeysuckle.
Would you help me with my rope here, please?
Yeah, could you just give me a hand with my--
Thank you, I really do appreciate it and--
And what lovely Nasturtiums.
You must be very proud of it.
Excuse me, I'm so sorry,
I'm really very sorry for bothering you and |--
I won't intrude on you-- You just have a lovely night.
Tomorrow, either that honeysuckle goes, or I do!
I mean, it's just crazy!
Five years without an injury.
All of a sudden a murder, then an attempted murder,
one right after the other?
Yes and don't forget
the attempted decapitation of yours truly!
Charlie, did you read the police report on the Redmond case?
CHARLIE: Yes, ldid.
SABRINA: Well you remember when she was found?
She was wearing an expensive diamond bracelet.
Why did the burglar bother to clean out the safe
and then leave the bracelet?
Well he probably knew that shot had been heard.
Maybe he didn't have time--
To pull a bracelet off her wrist?
Well...
Now listen, there's something else.
The security guard saw him escaping out a fire door.
But if he used a rope to climb down from the roof,
he's have had to abandon it still tied there.
The police looked. No rope.
CHARLIE: What's your theory, Sabrina?
I think there were two people in the apartment
besides the victim.
And the burglar went back the way he'd arrived. Up the rope.
Which means somebody else went out the fire door.
It's the only thing that makes sense.
Well that would explain the thief's MO
changing so suddenly.
Sure, it's Mystery Man No.2 who's so deadly.
Yeah, but what does that do to our plan
for catching the thief.
Never fear, Bosley.
I'll bet Sabrina's thinking the same thing lam.
SABRINA: Right, Charlie.
If you're thinking that the burglar saw the killer.
And the killer knows that.
That's right. That's why he tried to kill you.
He thought you were the cat burglar.
It sure looks that way.
CHARLIE: So, nothing's really changed, Ange/s.
To catch the murderer, we must still trap the thief
But there is one problem.
What's that, Charlie?
Do I dunk or not?
SABRINA: lheg your pardon.
I've just been served tea by my new English maid.
Now Will she think l'rn too vulgar
it I dunk my crumpet in the tea?
Only if you leave it there, Charlie.
CHARLIE: Goodbye, Ange/s.
ANGELS: Goodbye, Charlie.
I checked on this sailor, Denny Railsback.
Yeah.
He's been in town about six months.
Lives on a boat that's mortgaged up to its gunwales.
Oh, hey, be careful, gentlemen.
Charlie would hang us both from the nearest yardarm,
if anything happened to his jade collection.
You're right.
Now listen, afterwe make our grand entrance in there,
I'm gonna mingle a little bit.
Oh good. See if anybody shows any interest.
Right, then I'll check on some sailing lessons.
Oh, yes!
Now if you'll just wait here, Miss Bjornbar,
I shall see that your cases
are securely tucked away in the safe.
Thank you.
You are most vel-- welcome.
[BIRD CHIRPING]
Pretty birdie.
I just love that yade.
I beg your pardon?
My late husband's yade collection.
Do you mean jade, my dear?
Oh, ya, ya, yade. It's all I have to remind me of him!
Oh, my dear.
Come on over here and sit down and tell me all about it.
I'm Mrs. Machlin. I'm a resident here, too.
Oh, I am very happy to meet you.
There, there. 0th
We were once so rich and happy.
Rolf sell the tennis shoes all over.
Now Rolf is gone.
Only the yade and I remain. He was the fourth.
The fourth what?
Husband.
But the only one I love.
I heard someone say that Mr. Bosley is an auctioneer?
I am so poor now.
Until I find my fifth husband, what do I do?
Well, I don't know. It's a problem I've never faced.
I must sell my yade!
Mr. Bosley is the best.
He get a good price for me. Ya.
Is the collection very valuable?
Oh ya, ya. Many hundreds of thousands.
I just love that yade!
I don't blame you.
Miss Deveraux?
Yes?
I'm Ted Machlin, the Seawave Hotel's personal Welcome Wagon.
May I sit down?
All right.
Are you here to give me free coupons
to local stores and restaurants?
No, but lwould be pleased to take you for an early dinner.
Then a walk along the beach
while the California sun is still hot.
Well I... I...
Please. Please. I know what it's like being alone in a new city.
Here comes my mother. She can vouch for me!
Mother. Teddy...
I'd like you to meet Miss...
Yes. Miss Deveraux.
Kelly.
How do you do. Nice to know you.
I'm sorry to interrupt,
but would you think it too Freudian of me,
if I tried to steal my son away?
Why no. Not at all.
lwas going to spend the next hour
being so clever and charming,
you'd agree to have dinner with me.
Can I pretend I was and you will?
[LAUGHS]
Let's pretend. About 7:00?
If you make it 6:00,
we can go fora swim.
See the sights and then have dinner.
All right, 6:00.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Hello, hello!
Mr. Denny Railsback?
Yeah? Hallo.
I'm Annika Bjornbar.
I have come for the sailing lessons!
Well, I charge by the hour.
Oh, that is no problem!
No?
Okay, then. When do you want to start?
Now?
Sure. Fine.
WI
KRIS: I think I want to go home now.
The county beach is a couple of blocks down.
Have you lived at the Seawave long?
Five years. We moved in after my father died.
Mother took it pretty hard.
I didn't want to leave her alone.
I see. That was very thoughtful of you.
It's a good arrangement.
We get along fine.
She respects my privacy, and I respect hers.
I see.
Something is wrong?
Uh, no, no, no.
I guess I'm a little beat myself, that's all.
Tell me, what do you do for a living?
As little as possible. No, no, actually, I...
I own a fairly large commodities brokerage.
Well, now I am impressed.
Well, my work has its ups and downs.
But enough about me and my family.
What about you and yours?
Well, the Deveraux's have lived in New Orleans
for generations.
And I thought it was just about time
one of us got out and saw something of the world.
Good for you.
My mama and daddy were not pleased.
You see they want me married off and settled.
Like all the other Deveraux women before me.
I know what you mean.
Old money. Old traditions.
It's the same in my family.
It's difficult being independent sometimes.
Yes, it is.
WI
Well, I guess we should be getting back now.
It's getting late.
Now I know we should be getting back.
[CAR APPROACHING]
You certainly have very quick reflexes!
So do you, for a delicate Southern Belle.
WI
Okay, fine. Thanks very much.
Well, the car was stolen from a parking garage up the street.
You think they were after you, Kelly?
Well, I don't see how. Where's the motive?
That leaves Machlin.
And who would be the target ofthe killer?
Our cat burglar.
Mm-hm.
But why would he need to steal?
The Machlin's are loaded with money.
Oh, no, Charlie did some checking.
And the Machlin commodity brokerage
went bankrupt two years ago.
Oh, wow.
And right about then, the burglaries started.
KELLY: Oh, it fits.
Why is it, every time | start to like a guy...?
You know what else fits? Denny the Sailorman.
When he took a look at Machlin he almost fainted.
And he couldn't get rid of me fast enough.
Well the man obviously has no taste.
And he had time to steal a car and get to the beach.
Okay. Now we have two strong suspects.
Now all we need is the proof.
Well, let's get some.
Right.
So he missed. But he'll try again.
I agree, but there are two reasons
why I can't leave right now.
Two?
That jade could set us up in style.
Time enough to get established somewhere else.
And the other reason?
Kelly.
There's some mystery about her.
I don't know. I can't explain it but I've got to find out.
You are a very weird boy.
So you know me too well.
Come on, you're going to be late.
I'll take this down.
Teddy?
Take care.
WI
[STARTS ENGINE]
She has her own key to the ladies' room?
So she pays the gas station owner $50 a month
and uses the station as a changing room,
no questions asked.
She then goes to Swan Security Systems
where she is employed under her maiden name of Cooper.
And she has access to the safe combinations?
Yeah, and not only that.
When Seawave wants to change
the combinations after each burglary,
she is the one that's responsible.
Well, didn't Catherine Cahoon ever see her?
Apparently not.
You see the actual work was done
by a salesperson and the technicians
I'm telling you.
With a mother like that,
Machlin could be the most inept burglar in history
and he'd still wind up with a fortune!
I've made some inquiries.
The Deveraux's are listed in Who’s Who.
But no darling daughter, Kelly.
I've been found out. Mm-hm.
Who are you really?
Here you go.
Kelly King.
The Charondaley Museum, New Orleans.
Ah, you're a buyer?
Well, we were privately informed
that Miss Bjornbar wanted to sell her
husband's collection.
Well, I couldn't tell anyone the truth.
I get it.
You and that auctioneer character
are putting one over on the Swedish starlet.
Keeping the price low?
And he gets a cut of the difference?
Well, this is a wealthy area.
There'll be one or two who might bid,
but they'll have to drop out.
Annika will be making lots of money,
and we'll have the jade collection
fora fraction of its real worth.
That's pretty tricky.
Thank you.
Tomorrow morning, armed guards
will pick up thejade from her safe.
Everybody will be happy.
Well, you won't be bidding, will you, Ted?
Well, I'd truly like to mess up your little scheme.
But, no. No, I won't bid against you.
You've got me under your spell.
Besides...
I don't bid for things I want.
Well, it is time!
Okay now, remember the plan, Bosley.
Oh, it's very simple.
Kelly is the high bidder at $150,000!
Yeah.
Now watch the old silver tongue swing into action!
Old silver tongue?
[BOSLEY BANGS GAVEL]
Ladies and gentlemen!
The bidding is now open. The bidding is open.
What am I bid?
I do have an opening bid of $50,000. Thank you.
I have $50,000. Do I hear 60?
Oh the very pretty lady bids $60,000. Thank you.
Uh, $70,000.9r have 70,000. The bid is 70,000.
Do I hear 80? Do I hear--
Oh that there's a sneaky 80!
I do have $80,000 I have 80. Do I hear 90?
$90,000 for this priceless collection!
$90,000, thank you very much.
$100,000! We are rolling now.
I have 100,000. Do I hear 110?
110is bid! I have 110!
120, I have 120. 120 is the bid. Do I hear 130? Do I hear 130?
Too rich for the shy guy! All right, I have 120.
Do I hear 130? I have 130!
130! 140, 140. 140,000 once!
$140,000 twice!
150,000. Thank you very much. 150,000 once! 150--
160,000. I have 160. Do I hear 170?
Oh, dear! That's Samantha MacKendrick.
She owns half of Beverly Hills!
Do I hear 170? 170!
Always had a nose for bargains.
Oh, Charlie'll kill us.
180!
190! I have--
$200,000! Thank you very much.
210! 210! I have 210,000.
$220,000! 220! 220!
220! 220! 220! 220! 220! 220!
$300,000.
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
Three. $300,000.
300,000 once, twice, sold!
[BANGS GAVEL]
Oh, no.
No!
I'm telling you, at this rate,
I'll be selling pencils by tomorrow.
With your auctioning ability, Boz,
you'll be rich in a week.
I don't know what came over me. It was like a dream!
Well, don't worry, Bosley.
We're gonna get the jade back.
I hope.
Okay, look, it's about time we get into position.
Now Kelly made sure that Machlin knows
the jade leaves the safe tomorrow.
That means he has to make his move tonight.
Oh, Bosley.
I don't.
Left nine. Right 52. Left--
Mother!
Mother I have it.
Right.
Don't work too late.
Right.
Right, I'll be careful.
Bye-bye.
[SAFE CLICKING]
Be careful with those, please!
Uh-uh.
TED: Dad left me r'ri charge of the brokerage
when he died five years ago.
But, uh, well, I couldn't make a go of it.
And when it went under
mother got a job at Swan Security.
I don't know, the idea just came to me so naturally.
And it was my idea, not hers!
I didn't talk you out of it.
Swan Security installs sales in buildings all over the Marina.
So I just spaced my robberies out,
setting each one up very carefully.
Mother got me the combinations.
Ah! It was so easy!
Until you chose the wrong apartment.
Hm? That's for sure. Julie Redmond's.
I was in the bedroom and I had just opened the safe
when I heard them come in, Julie and this guy.
They quarreled.
He must've been crazy to shoot somebody like that!
Well, what happened then?
He came in the bedroom and I was on my way up the rope
and I saw his face.
And he saw yours?
Yeah. But what was I supposed to do?
Go to the cops and explain that
"Well, I just happened to be climbing by."
[LIGHT LAUGHS]
No, that might have aroused their suspicions.
They would have locked me so fast
I wouldn't have known what had happened.
They would have charged me with murder too.
Oh, well...
So much for old wealth.
And old traditions.
What will happen to Teddy now?
Well you're an accomplice too, Mrs. Machlin.
I don't care about myself.
But I do care about my son.
Well, Mrs. Machlin, we can try to work something out
with the DA.
What?
Uh, possible reduced sentence for you.
And a possible suspended sentence for your mom,
considering her age.
No offense.
In return for what?
Help us to catch the murderer.
With pleasure.
But what jury would believe my testimony?
Well we have something else in mind.
[SWEDISH ACCENT] Hello.
What are you doing here?
I came to see you.
Hm. More sailing lessons?
Oh, you make fun of me
because I don't have my sea legs yet.
I don't see anything wrong with them.
Thank you.
lam so lonely, now that my husband, Roll, is gone.
Yeah?
Would you have lunch with me?
Well, I don't know.
I was thinking of taking the afternoon off.
Working my way up the coast to Frisco, or something.
Oh, please!
I have been thinking about what you ask!
About the loan for this beautiful boat.
Yeah?
We could talk about it in my room...
Over lunch?
Okay. I guess Frisco can wait.
Uh, how come you live here? At the Seawave?
Oh, I like it.
Don't you think it's nice?
Oh, sure, it's nice.
Why don't you call the room service. Iwill change.
[SCREAMING]
You come back with my yade!
You...
It is you...
You watch him! I go get the police!
No! Don't! Don't!
No, hold it a second. I gotta think this through.
But the police!
No. Oh, no. No police.
I don't understand.
Do you remember that woman
that was killed here a couple weeks ago?
Julie Redmond?
He did it. I saw him.
That's right, I did it.
Get away from that window.
I'm sorry you had to give our little secret away, chum.
Because now I got to take you both out.
But you first.
You know I had nightmares about you
hanging outside that window like a big black spider.
But no more.
No more...
[GUNSHOT]
[GUN CLICKS]
We got it all on tape in the room next door.
Blanks and all.
[CAR HONKING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
What took you so long?
SABRINA: Yes, thank you very much. Yes, goodbye.
Well, Mrs. Machlin, the police have agreed
to escort you to the station in an unmarked car.
Oh, thank you for that, my dear.
Our neighbors will know soon enough what we've done,
but if they were to see me in custody.
That's all right. We understand.
Can I ask you one question?
KELLY: Sure.
What's your real name?
Garrett. Kelly Garrett.
I'm sorry that things worked out the way they did, Kelly.
So am I.
My son has always had bad luck with women.
I can't tell you how happy lam! You've all done a wonderful job!
Well, thank you very much.
Hello? Bosley?
l have a truck outside.
I've come for myjade!
WI