1
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:02,024
Please accept
my sincerest apologies
2
00:02:02,108 --> 00:02:03,902
for being so late
on the new shipment,
3
00:02:03,984 --> 00:02:06,195
but it’s just been crazy
around here trying to launch
4
00:02:06,278 --> 00:02:08,073
the new Sporting Wood
porn division.
5
00:02:08,156 --> 00:02:09,407
Oh, no problem.
6
00:02:09,491 --> 00:02:11,493
Uh, George, can I ask you
a question?
7
00:02:11,575 --> 00:02:12,576
Yeah, yeah.
8
00:02:12,953 --> 00:02:15,622
Are you aware there are
two hot guys behind you fucking?
9
00:02:15,705 --> 00:02:17,040
Oh, of course.
10
00:02:17,122 --> 00:02:18,500
That’s Chuck and Connor.
11
00:02:18,582 --> 00:02:20,877
They're from our stable
of porn actors.
12
00:02:20,961 --> 00:02:23,380
I’m just having them do
a few warm-up exercises
13
00:02:23,462 --> 00:02:24,756
before today’s rehearsal.
14
00:02:24,838 --> 00:02:26,675
Well, those don’t look like any
15
00:02:26,758 --> 00:02:29,344
warm-up exercises I’ve ever
seen, but I like it.
16
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Well, I’ve got to go.
17
00:02:31,263 --> 00:02:32,722
I’ll see you later, Devon.
18
00:02:32,806 --> 00:02:35,225
No, for the love of God, George,
don’t hang up!
19
00:02:35,307 --> 00:02:38,644
But Devon, the-the Wi-Fi
seems to be a little out.
20
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The image is so shaky.
21
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No, you look fine to me.
22
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Oh, God, oh! Oh!
23
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♪Where the bears are,
We wanna be♪
24
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SEASON 6
EPISODE 10 ZOMBIE BEARS
25
00:03:12,929 --> 00:03:15,765
When Enos and Jesse start doing
it in the cowpoke position…
26
00:03:15,848 --> 00:03:17,558
- Mm-hm.
- …your character, Clint,
27
00:03:17,641 --> 00:03:19,311
we already established
that he likes to watch,
28
00:03:19,394 --> 00:03:20,562
starts whacking off!
29
00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,104
I can do that.
30
00:03:22,188 --> 00:03:23,480
Wait a minute,
31
00:03:23,564 --> 00:03:26,317
you just skipped two whole pages
of dialogue.
32
00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:27,944
I know, I cut them.
33
00:03:28,027 --> 00:03:30,530
It was taking too long
to get to the sex scene.
34
00:03:30,614 --> 00:03:33,617
Uh, as the author
of Bearback Mountain,
35
00:03:33,699 --> 00:03:35,409
I must protest.
36
00:03:35,492 --> 00:03:37,412
Without that crucial dialogue,
37
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this scene doesn’t
make any sense.
38
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If the reject from
Little People, Big World
39
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does not keep his mouth shut,
40
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I’m walking!
41
00:03:46,337 --> 00:03:47,923
George, please.
42
00:03:48,006 --> 00:03:51,300
I’m sorry, Wood,
but I cannot stand idly by
43
00:03:51,383 --> 00:03:55,012
while this, this beast butchers
another one of my scripts.
44
00:03:55,096 --> 00:03:57,473
Are you kidding?
I’m working miracles salvaging
45
00:03:57,556 --> 00:03:59,225
the crap you vomited
on these pages.
46
00:03:59,308 --> 00:04:01,186
Oh, okay, that’s it!
47
00:04:01,269 --> 00:04:04,146
I will not have my creative
vision insulted again!
48
00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:09,109
Wood, you need to make a choice,
either he goes or I do.
49
00:04:12,864 --> 00:04:14,032
Wood?
50
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:17,994
I’m sorry, George!
51
00:04:18,077 --> 00:04:19,703
It’s just
that Sebastian has directed
52
00:04:19,788 --> 00:04:21,288
a whole slew of big hits.
53
00:04:21,372 --> 00:04:22,581
We need him!
54
00:04:22,665 --> 00:04:25,668
Well-well, then,
you obviously don’t need me!
55
00:04:26,043 --> 00:04:27,294
What a diva!
56
00:04:28,004 --> 00:04:29,713
Now that the drama queen
has gone,
57
00:04:29,798 --> 00:04:31,257
let’s get to some sex action.
58
00:04:31,341 --> 00:04:33,050
Lube up them holes, boys!
59
00:04:37,639 --> 00:04:38,723
Sir, I've just uncovered some
amazing—
60
00:04:38,807 --> 00:04:40,182
Not now, Stevens!
61
00:04:40,266 --> 00:04:42,017
Heath here just brought me
important information regarding
62
00:04:42,101 --> 00:04:44,311
a Middle Eastern prince
and his bodyguard
63
00:04:44,396 --> 00:04:46,648
who are here in the States
to target the Falcon.
64
00:04:46,730 --> 00:04:47,774
What?
65
00:04:47,858 --> 00:04:50,235
- How did you find out?
- A little birdie told me.
66
00:04:50,317 --> 00:04:51,694
Excellent work, Heath!
67
00:04:51,778 --> 00:04:54,364
Now I want you and Stevens
to keep a watchful eye
68
00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:56,074
on that prince and his entourage
69
00:04:56,156 --> 00:04:57,741
and see if anything else
is in the works.
70
00:04:57,826 --> 00:04:59,536
Well, are you sure Todd
is up to it, sir?
71
00:04:59,619 --> 00:05:01,705
His husband’s about to go
on trial for murder.
72
00:05:01,788 --> 00:05:03,874
Um, maybe you should take
a leave of absence,
73
00:05:03,956 --> 00:05:05,959
you know, for your own
emotional well-being.
74
00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:07,710
I’m fine, thanks.
75
00:05:11,673 --> 00:05:14,050
MRU
MALE RAPE UNIT
76
00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:18,972
So what happened?
Did you talk to Kenny?
77
00:05:19,055 --> 00:05:21,057
No, I couldn't get
anywhere near him.
78
00:05:21,141 --> 00:05:22,975
- These are all over the place.
- Oh, God.
79
00:05:23,059 --> 00:05:24,644
I've been banned from the set!
80
00:05:24,728 --> 00:05:26,312
- Can you believe that?
- Yes!
81
00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:28,189
You killed your costar, Nelson!
82
00:05:28,273 --> 00:05:31,693
Even Marcia Cross didn’t shoot
Teri Hatcher, and she hated her!
83
00:05:31,776 --> 00:05:33,694
Yeah, but couldn’t they have
used a decent picture of me,
84
00:05:33,778 --> 00:05:34,778
like my headshot?
85
00:05:34,862 --> 00:05:37,781
This looks like Oliver Platt
if he was pregnant.
86
00:05:38,324 --> 00:05:40,117
Listen, we have got
to get to Kenny, okay,
87
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:42,745
because he's the prop master,
so he's like the prime suspect.
88
00:05:42,829 --> 00:05:44,497
He's the one who
handed me that gun.
89
00:05:44,581 --> 00:05:46,499
Well, how are we supposed
to get on the set now?
90
00:05:46,958 --> 00:05:48,418
I don’t know, um...
91
00:05:48,752 --> 00:05:51,754
Wait a minute. I have a
scathingly brilliant idea.
92
00:05:51,838 --> 00:05:54,007
The Walking Dead
shoots next door, come on.
93
00:05:54,757 --> 00:05:56,050
What?
94
00:06:33,129 --> 00:06:34,838
Son of a bitch!
95
00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:39,301
Hey, stud, what’s up?
96
00:06:40,136 --> 00:06:41,429
You.
97
00:06:41,512 --> 00:06:43,556
All right, I’m sick of these
little games you’re playing.
98
00:06:43,639 --> 00:06:44,807
This ends right now.
99
00:06:44,891 --> 00:06:46,434
Oh, I thought
we were just getting started.
100
00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:47,852
I found the bug
you put in my office,
101
00:06:47,935 --> 00:06:49,395
and you heard me talking
on the phone about
102
00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:50,813
what I found
in the bodyguard’s computer.
103
00:06:50,896 --> 00:06:52,481
Then you run to Nick’s office
like a little bitch
104
00:06:52,565 --> 00:06:54,942
and claim it’s your intel
and take all the fucking credit.
105
00:06:55,026 --> 00:06:57,194
You’re so sexy
when you’re pissed off.
106
00:06:57,278 --> 00:06:58,320
What?
107
00:06:58,404 --> 00:06:59,864
Get the fuck out of here!
What are you doing?
108
00:06:59,947 --> 00:07:02,575
This seems like one of those
“No means yes” situations.
109
00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:04,995
Uh, this seems like one of those
sexual-harassment situations.
110
00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:06,537
What are you doing?
Knock it off!
111
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,664
God, where’s a fucking rape
whistle when you need one?
112
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,542
Come on, stop it!
113
00:07:11,418 --> 00:07:12,961
This-This isn’t what it— No!
114
00:07:13,043 --> 00:07:14,169
This isn’t— I can explain!
115
00:07:14,254 --> 00:07:15,838
No need, Stevens, I understand.
116
00:07:15,922 --> 00:07:18,675
Blowing off a little steam,
not getting enough at home.
117
00:07:18,757 --> 00:07:20,175
I can totally relate.
118
00:07:20,259 --> 00:07:22,262
Kind of makes me feel less alone
in the world.
119
00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:24,764
For the future, uh,
120
00:07:24,848 --> 00:07:26,850
you want to hang a yellow tie
or something on the door?
121
00:07:26,932 --> 00:07:28,642
Just so it’s not so awkward.
122
00:07:29,728 --> 00:07:30,769
Carry on.
123
00:07:31,687 --> 00:07:33,147
Get off me!
124
00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:37,067
Have a good day.
125
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:47,495
Okay, so, I got an A
in my theater makeup class,
126
00:07:47,579 --> 00:07:48,704
so we look incredible.
127
00:07:48,788 --> 00:07:50,497
No one’s going to even
know who we are, okay?
128
00:07:50,581 --> 00:07:51,875
Do you remember
what I taught you?
129
00:07:51,958 --> 00:07:53,335
(moaning)
130
00:07:54,377 --> 00:07:55,586
Eh, no, it’s more like…
131
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:56,670
(groans loudly)
132
00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,005
(Reggie groans unconvincingly)
133
00:07:58,380 --> 00:07:59,590
Work on it.
134
00:07:59,673 --> 00:08:00,966
Nelson, what are you doing here?
135
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:05,180
(in zombie voice)
I’m not Nelson, zombie.
136
00:08:05,262 --> 00:08:06,889
The producers have
a restraining order against you.
137
00:08:06,973 --> 00:08:08,641
You’re not supposed to be
within a mile of the set.
138
00:08:08,725 --> 00:08:12,062
Oh, come on, Kenny. How in the
fuck did you recognize me? Geez.
139
00:08:12,478 --> 00:08:13,812
Oh, hey, Nelson.
How’s it going?
140
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:15,272
Oh, come on!
141
00:08:15,357 --> 00:08:17,442
- How do people recognize me?
- Well, I’ve always said,
142
00:08:17,526 --> 00:08:19,110
you remind me of
one of the walking dead.
143
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,694
- No, you haven’t.
- Well, not to your face.
144
00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,656
Nelson, you can’t be here.
You’re breaking the law.
145
00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:24,615
Well, you should know
all about that, Kenny!
146
00:08:24,699 --> 00:08:25,699
You had to be the one
147
00:08:25,783 --> 00:08:27,993
that put the real bullet
in that prop gun.
148
00:08:28,077 --> 00:08:30,412
Who is that?
I’ve heard that voice before.
149
00:08:30,497 --> 00:08:32,081
Is that Reggie Hatch?
150
00:08:32,164 --> 00:08:34,166
I’m not being filmed
for Murder Time, am I?
151
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,251
- No.
- Oh, hey, Nelson.
152
00:08:35,335 --> 00:08:36,418
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
153
00:08:36,503 --> 00:08:39,422
I’ve got contacts in,
this is Oscar-winning makeup.
154
00:08:39,505 --> 00:08:41,799
Why, Kenny?
Why did you want Toby dead?
155
00:08:41,883 --> 00:08:43,384
(in zombie voice)
Yeah, why, Kenny?
156
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:44,468
Why?
157
00:08:44,552 --> 00:08:47,264
I really like the commitment.
But I didn’t kill Toby, I swear.
158
00:08:47,346 --> 00:08:49,098
The gun had blanks
when I gave it to you, Nelson.
159
00:08:49,182 --> 00:08:52,476
I checked it three times--
I always check it three times.
160
00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:54,354
And you handed it off
to some stranger
161
00:08:54,437 --> 00:08:55,938
before the scene started.
162
00:08:56,022 --> 00:08:58,275
And you were standing there,
too, if I’m not mistaken,
163
00:08:58,357 --> 00:08:59,900
along with another guy
I didn’t know.
164
00:08:59,985 --> 00:09:01,653
That means, including you two,
165
00:09:01,735 --> 00:09:03,779
there are four people who
could’ve switched out the blanks
166
00:09:03,864 --> 00:09:04,947
before you shot the scene.
167
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,533
That's him, Nelson Dorkoff!
168
00:09:07,616 --> 00:09:09,034
- Grab him!
- Ron, Nelson, run!
169
00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:11,454
Holy fuck! Hurry! God!
170
00:09:11,538 --> 00:09:12,663
(in zombie voice)
I’m a zombie!
171
00:09:14,331 --> 00:09:17,878
♪Where the bears are,
We wanna be♪
172
00:09:17,961 --> 00:09:20,547
♪Where the bears are,
Where the bears are♪