1 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,535 What's up? 2 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,104 Animal Planet. 3 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,774 Man, I just had the craziest dream. 4 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,943 -About what? -I don't remember. 5 00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,212 Yeah. Yeah. 6 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,382 Morning, guys. 7 00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:03,217 Morning, Gene. 8 00:03:07,122 --> 00:03:08,590 What did we do last night? 9 00:03:08,823 --> 00:03:10,225 I don't know. 10 00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:13,730 Wait. Didn't the twins have a party? 11 00:03:13,962 --> 00:03:15,999 Yeah, that's it. Twins had a party. 12 00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:18,068 -Right. -Right. 13 00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:20,470 Were we there? 14 00:03:21,338 --> 00:03:23,006 I'm assuming we were. 15 00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:25,843 What kind of boyfriends would we be if we weren't? 16 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:28,246 Did I get any messages? 17 00:03:28,913 --> 00:03:30,014 Nope. 18 00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:33,952 See you tomorrow, Gene. 19 00:03:34,319 --> 00:03:35,888 Shibby. 20 00:03:38,324 --> 00:03:40,226 How do you know Gene? 21 00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,496 Oh, I thought he was your friend. 22 00:03:43,696 --> 00:03:45,866 No, no, I don't know him. 23 00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:51,305 I'm starving. 24 00:03:56,811 --> 00:03:59,948 -It's pudding. -I always wondered what a fridge... 25 00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:02,417 ...full of pudding would look like. 26 00:04:03,018 --> 00:04:06,222 Is it possible that we got so wasted last night... 27 00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:10,126 ...we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then forgot about it? 28 00:04:13,696 --> 00:04:15,465 I'd say it's entirely possible. 29 00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,538 -Jesse. -And Chester are shibby right now. 30 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:24,075 Please leave your shibby at the beep. Shibby. 31 00:04:24,509 --> 00:04:26,310 What happened last night? 32 00:04:26,511 --> 00:04:30,181 You show up with a bunch of people, pizzas and a keg. Our house is trashed. 33 00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:33,218 You're sucky boyfriends. Always disappointing us. 34 00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:36,255 Now you're probably on the couch in your underwear. 35 00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:37,623 Playing thumb wars. 36 00:04:37,824 --> 00:04:39,358 Wearing those Army helmets. 37 00:04:39,558 --> 00:04:42,762 And if you are, you've probably forgotten our anniversary. 38 00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:44,264 Which is today. 39 00:04:44,465 --> 00:04:47,335 You don't get the special treats we had for you. 40 00:04:47,535 --> 00:04:50,505 Just wanted to thank you guys for trashing our house. 41 00:04:50,705 --> 00:04:51,939 Bye! 42 00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:53,575 Twins sound pissed. 43 00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:57,145 -Good thing we already got them gifts. -Yeah. 44 00:04:57,879 --> 00:05:01,016 So where are the gifts? 45 00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:05,121 -They must be in your car. -They're in the car. 46 00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:08,258 So we'll just take the gifts to the twins' house... 47 00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:09,826 ...get our special treats. 48 00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:12,796 Hey, what do you think they mean by special treats? 49 00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:15,466 We've been going out with them for a year now. 50 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,401 And we still haven't had sex. 51 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:21,706 "Special treats" is code for sex. 52 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,541 Of course. 53 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,078 -Special treats! -Sex. 54 00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:27,680 Open up, you slackers! 55 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,281 Mr. Pizzacoli! 56 00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:30,950 You left work last night... 57 00:05:31,217 --> 00:05:33,319 ...with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered! 58 00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:34,988 I want some answers! 59 00:05:35,221 --> 00:05:37,824 Open up this damn door! 60 00:05:38,025 --> 00:05:39,059 It's open. 61 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,231 -Moron! -What? I'm sorry. 62 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:55,911 Mr. Pizzacoli. 63 00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:59,082 -Hi, how you doing? -30 pizzas didn't get delivered! 64 00:05:59,548 --> 00:06:02,919 If I found out you was taking my pizza home to eat yourselves... 65 00:06:03,119 --> 00:06:05,222 ...I will crush you like a doodlebug! 66 00:06:05,422 --> 00:06:07,124 -Look, it's an elephant! -What? 67 00:06:09,793 --> 00:06:13,964 -Guess it was just a mailman. -You two are the most irresponsible... 68 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,968 ...and disappointing employees ever to work... 69 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,738 ...at Mr. Pizzacoli's Pronto Pizza Delivery! 70 00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:22,574 A trained dolphin could do a better job than you! 71 00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:25,911 Well, sure, but then the pizzas would get all wet. 72 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,580 Look, a unicorn! 73 00:06:30,383 --> 00:06:31,418 A unicorn? 74 00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,988 Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse. Weird! 75 00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:37,124 You've been embezzling my pizza. 76 00:06:37,324 --> 00:06:39,694 And I will catch you eventually. 77 00:06:39,894 --> 00:06:43,565 And when I do, I swear to God, you will never deliver pizzas... 78 00:06:43,765 --> 00:06:45,133 ...in this town again! 79 00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:50,673 -Close one. -Yeah. 80 00:06:53,809 --> 00:06:55,545 We'll go to the twins' house. 81 00:06:55,745 --> 00:06:59,282 We'll give them their gifts and apologize for trashing the house. 82 00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,885 And then we get our special treats. 83 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,923 Dude, where's my car? 84 00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,492 Where's your car, dude? 85 00:07:09,527 --> 00:07:10,895 Dude, where's my car? 86 00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:14,132 Where's your car, dude? 87 00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,302 Dude, where's my car? 88 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,037 Where's your car, dude? 89 00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:20,873 -Did I drive last night? -Yeah, I think so. 90 00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:24,010 -Really? -I'm not sure. 91 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,282 -Dude, where's your car? -Dude, it's not funny. It's gone. 92 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,986 -Yeah. -Dude, where's my car? 93 00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:36,590 Shut up, dude! 94 00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,459 Okay. Okay, look. 95 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,062 You're right. What we need to do is... 96 00:07:41,263 --> 00:07:43,932 ...get into the state of mind we were in last night. 97 00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:46,135 That way, we can retrace our steps. 98 00:07:46,668 --> 00:07:49,438 -Yeah. -Sense Memory Simulated Perception... 99 00:07:49,638 --> 00:07:52,142 ...Altered Consciousness Memory Retrieval. 100 00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,312 Discovery Channel. 101 00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:56,980 Nice. 102 00:07:57,214 --> 00:07:59,316 -Nelson's? -Shibby. 103 00:08:06,157 --> 00:08:08,160 -I'm sick of walking, dude. -Me too. 104 00:08:10,095 --> 00:08:12,998 Hey, it's Mrs. Crabbleman. She'll give us a ride. 105 00:08:13,198 --> 00:08:14,600 Hey, Mrs. Crabbleman! 106 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,170 Hey! Hey! 107 00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:21,174 Mrs. Crabbleman. 108 00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:29,550 Fucking stoners. 109 00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:33,454 She must not have recognized you. 110 00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:35,357 -It's the Binglemans. -Oh, hey. 111 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,125 Mr. Bingleman! 112 00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:40,229 Hey, Mr. Bingleman. 113 00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,803 -Maybe we should just walk. -Yeah. 114 00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,872 Listen, Nelson, the car is gone... 115 00:08:49,138 --> 00:08:51,608 ...and we need to do this sense memory thing... 116 00:08:51,808 --> 00:08:55,146 ...so we can get back in the state of mind we were in last night. 117 00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:59,084 Deep in your consciousness, you must look. 118 00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:03,622 Concentrate on the knowledge inside, you must. 119 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:07,459 Your eyes, you must close. 120 00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,728 And you take it to the mo. 121 00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:20,908 Whoops. 122 00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:30,852 Concentrating, you're not. 123 00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:32,921 Sorry. 124 00:09:33,121 --> 00:09:35,758 -Is your dog dead? -He's not dead. 125 00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,294 Come here, Jackal. Come here, boy. 126 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,030 -I don't think he's coming. -Maybe he's deaf. 127 00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,498 Deaf, he is not, dude. 128 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:43,767 Come here, Jackal. 129 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:46,537 -Come here, Jackal. -Does he know any other tricks... 130 00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:48,372 ...besides not moving? 131 00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,608 All right, you want to see a trick, man? 132 00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:52,877 Hey, Jackal. 133 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,218 Bite down, killer. 134 00:10:00,419 --> 00:10:02,588 Here comes the fun. All right. 135 00:10:06,725 --> 00:10:08,194 Good boy, Jackal. 136 00:10:08,394 --> 00:10:10,163 Good boy. 137 00:10:10,864 --> 00:10:13,667 Breathe deep. There you go. 138 00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:17,238 -Dude, your dog's a stoner. -Can he also bong a beer? 139 00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:20,074 Nah, pretty much all he does is... 140 00:10:20,274 --> 00:10:21,910 ...lie around and smoke his pipe. 141 00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,745 Jackal, can I see your pipe? 142 00:10:24,412 --> 00:10:28,550 Oh, no, don't! Very protective, he is of his pipe. 143 00:10:28,751 --> 00:10:32,321 When other people touch it, he does not like. 144 00:10:32,521 --> 00:10:33,722 Sorry, Jackal. 145 00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:36,659 Yeah, see? He's sorry. 146 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,495 Holy crap. 147 00:10:38,695 --> 00:10:42,166 -That's one psycho dog, dude. -You know what we should do now? 148 00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:45,236 -Eat? -No. Eat. 149 00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:50,208 Choice excellent, my friend. I'll get the keys. 150 00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:10,931 Hey, Nelson. Let me order. 151 00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:13,901 "Chinese Foooood. " May I help you? 152 00:11:14,102 --> 00:11:16,571 -I'd like to place an order. -What you like? 153 00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:19,341 Yeah, I'd like three orders of garlic chicken. 154 00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:22,243 -And then? -And then three orders of white rice. 155 00:11:22,444 --> 00:11:26,081 -And then? -And then.... 156 00:11:26,282 --> 00:11:28,151 -Hey, you guys want soup? -Sure. 157 00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:31,454 -Yeah. Three orders of won ton soup. -And then? 158 00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:34,925 -Oh, some fortune cookies too. -And then? 159 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,594 That's about it. 160 00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:38,962 And then? 161 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,667 No, that's it. 162 00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,469 -And then? -No "and then." 163 00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,738 I-- That's all I want. 164 00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,073 And then? 165 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:54,980 And then-- And then nothing else, because I'm done ordering. Okay? 166 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,649 And then? 167 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,923 See, all I want is the three orders of the garlic chicken... 168 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,191 ...and the white rice. 169 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,626 And then? 170 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,696 -And the soup, dude. -Oh, and the won ton soup. 171 00:12:08,963 --> 00:12:11,365 -And then? -And the cookies, fortune. 172 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,967 And the fortune cookies. 173 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:16,504 So it's just the chicken, the rice... 174 00:12:16,705 --> 00:12:19,542 ...the soup and the fortune cookies, and that's it. 175 00:12:20,175 --> 00:12:21,844 And then? 176 00:12:25,482 --> 00:12:27,951 And then you can put it in a brown paper bag... 177 00:12:28,151 --> 00:12:31,021 ...and put it in my hand, because I'm ready to eat. 178 00:12:31,555 --> 00:12:33,157 And then? 179 00:12:33,657 --> 00:12:36,560 I refuse to play your Chinese food mind games. 180 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,464 -And then? -No! No "and then"! 181 00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:42,000 -And then? -No "and then"! 182 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,169 -And then? -No "and then"! 183 00:12:44,369 --> 00:12:45,938 -And then? -No! No "and then"! 184 00:12:46,138 --> 00:12:49,708 -And then? -You're starting to piss me off, lady. 185 00:12:49,908 --> 00:12:52,245 -And then? -And then... 186 00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:56,216 ...I'm gonna come in there and put my foot in your ass... 187 00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:59,086 ...if you say "and then" again! 188 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:07,395 And then and then and then and then and then.... 189 00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:16,439 And then? 190 00:13:16,639 --> 00:13:19,475 Come on, Nelson, just help us find my car. 191 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,913 You didn't have to go all "egg roll" on that speaker box. 192 00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:25,782 I'm not the one that called the Dalai Lama a fag. 193 00:13:25,982 --> 00:13:30,087 -I was just kidding around. -Well, Nelson didn't appreciate it. 194 00:13:30,488 --> 00:13:33,724 Look, it's Christie Boner. 195 00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:41,700 Wow! The hottest of the hot. 196 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:45,504 El fuego of all that is el fuego. 197 00:13:49,642 --> 00:13:53,213 -Did she just wave at us? -No way. She would never wave at us. 198 00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:55,282 Then why did she just wave at us? 199 00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:58,252 I don't know. Maybe she thinks we're other people. 200 00:13:58,452 --> 00:13:59,620 People she waves to. 201 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,695 Hi, Chester. 202 00:14:07,396 --> 00:14:08,464 Hi. 203 00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:12,435 Hi, Jesse. I had a really good time with you last night. 204 00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:17,807 -Me too. -That was some crazy party. 205 00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:21,612 -Hey, have you seen my car? -Well, I saw it last night. 206 00:14:23,247 --> 00:14:25,082 I mean, I saw the back seat. 207 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:29,253 -I mean the whole thing. -Get another one with all the money... 208 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,723 -...you were throwing around. -Money? 209 00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:35,193 Yeah. You had that really nice suitcase full of money. 210 00:14:36,629 --> 00:14:40,600 -A suitcase full of money? -Don't you remember giving me $500... 211 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:43,002 ...to show you my hoo-hoos? 212 00:14:43,870 --> 00:14:46,539 -$500? -Hoo-hoos? 213 00:14:46,739 --> 00:14:49,476 You mean, you don't remember anything? 214 00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:01,456 How about now? 215 00:15:02,791 --> 00:15:03,926 No. 216 00:15:04,526 --> 00:15:06,562 How about now? 217 00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:13,403 I'm a little bit fuzzy too. 218 00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:16,774 Maybe if I could get a little refresher course. 219 00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:22,947 -All right. -Go. 220 00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:26,317 -Are these losers bothering you? -No, Tommy. 221 00:15:26,518 --> 00:15:29,488 Guys like you could never score with a chick like this. 222 00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:32,391 -Stick to your own kind. -Don't be such a jerk. 223 00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:34,894 Next time you guys bother my girlfriend... 224 00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:38,198 -...stoner-bashing time. -Oh, yeah? 225 00:15:38,431 --> 00:15:39,632 Yeah. 226 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,802 -Okay. -Consider this your warning. 227 00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:47,341 Later, dudes! 228 00:15:50,912 --> 00:15:53,381 Dude, you touched Christie Boner's hoo-hoo. 229 00:15:53,581 --> 00:15:54,783 Shibby! 230 00:15:54,983 --> 00:15:56,351 Low-five. 231 00:15:57,386 --> 00:15:59,588 -Yeah. -Let's get out of here. 232 00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:02,558 Chester! 233 00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,695 Dude, that Christie Boner is super hot. 234 00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:08,231 Where did we get a suitcase full of money? 235 00:16:08,431 --> 00:16:09,800 Why don't we have it now? 236 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,870 Maybe we deposited it in a Swiss bank account. 237 00:16:14,572 --> 00:16:18,009 Now, if we had a ridiculous sum of money, where would we go? 238 00:16:18,776 --> 00:16:20,011 Dude. 239 00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:28,353 Sweet! 240 00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,626 No way we were here last night. 241 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,798 We'd never fit in at a place like this. 242 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,501 Look everyone! It's Mr. Jesse and Mr. Chester! 243 00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:55,484 Look at the toggles on that kitten. 244 00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:02,726 Good afternoon, Jesse, Chester. How are we feeling today? 245 00:17:03,493 --> 00:17:05,062 A little fuzzy. 246 00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:09,867 Hi, Chester. Hi, Jesse. 247 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,336 Did you guys enjoy yourselves last night? 248 00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:16,808 -Have we met? -It's me, Tania. 249 00:17:17,008 --> 00:17:18,911 Remember last night when I gave you... 250 00:17:19,111 --> 00:17:22,848 ...that super-special, slippery-wet lap dance? 251 00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:29,322 Of course. How can I forget? 252 00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:32,059 You want to do it again? 253 00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:35,496 This time, it's on me. 254 00:17:43,739 --> 00:17:45,808 If you say so. 255 00:17:54,484 --> 00:17:56,386 Didn't I get a special lap dance? 256 00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,488 Did you ever. 257 00:18:10,402 --> 00:18:11,870 Sweet! 258 00:18:12,237 --> 00:18:13,772 Sweet! 259 00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:15,907 So... 260 00:18:16,108 --> 00:18:20,179 ...just how super-special can a slippery lap dance be? 261 00:18:20,613 --> 00:18:24,884 What the hell were you thinking, throwing around my money like that? 262 00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:28,655 -You're a.... -I'm a gender-challenged male. 263 00:18:29,089 --> 00:18:30,658 What does that mean? 264 00:18:32,493 --> 00:18:34,629 Oh, dude, you're a dude! That's-- 265 00:18:35,963 --> 00:18:37,132 You.... 266 00:18:47,143 --> 00:18:50,780 Last night, I had you sneak a suitcase of stolen money out of here. 267 00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,650 -Stolen money? -$200,000. 268 00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,252 $200,000! 269 00:18:55,452 --> 00:18:58,656 I gave you the case and left. We were supposed to meet. 270 00:18:58,856 --> 00:19:01,926 But you never showed up! Where's that suitcase? 271 00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:03,928 -I don't know. -You don't know? 272 00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:17,577 -Where's that suitcase? -It's in my car. 273 00:19:17,777 --> 00:19:21,314 Then get it. Fast. Or else you'll be singing soprano. 274 00:19:33,261 --> 00:19:36,298 Dude. Dude, dude! 275 00:19:36,765 --> 00:19:38,233 -We gotta go. -Are you crazy? 276 00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:40,369 I'm with breakdancing strippers. 277 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,805 Seriously, dude, this is an emergency. 278 00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:44,207 So is this, dude. 279 00:19:44,407 --> 00:19:47,110 It's a breakdancing stripper emergency. 280 00:19:48,078 --> 00:19:50,480 -Goodbye! -Bye, Chester! 281 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,182 I love you! 282 00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:57,421 We were supposed to meet her with the suitcase, but we didn't show up. 283 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,792 Sounds like us. How wasted were we last night? 284 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:04,296 I touched Christie's hoo-hoo, we're on the hook for $200,000... 285 00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:07,667 ...that belongs to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. 286 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:12,071 -I'd say we were pretty wasted. -We really need to find your car. 287 00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:16,209 Okay, let's see. The last place we remember being last night was.... 288 00:20:16,409 --> 00:20:20,514 The twins'. But we can't show up without the anniversary gifts. 289 00:20:20,715 --> 00:20:23,684 I got it! We'll get them a little something for now. 290 00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:28,223 When we find the car, we'll give them the real gifts. That's a dollar... 291 00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:29,892 ...thirty-nine. 292 00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:32,594 -I don't know. -Trust me. 293 00:20:32,828 --> 00:20:35,297 -It'll be totally cool. Let's go. -Okay. 294 00:20:39,869 --> 00:20:41,704 We are so dead. 295 00:20:42,239 --> 00:20:43,941 I roger that. 296 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,900 -We've been cleaning all day. -What do you guys have to say? 297 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,270 Happy anniversary. 298 00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:19,314 We ate the dark ones. We know you guys don't like those. 299 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,983 Dark ones are the only ones we do like. 300 00:21:23,117 --> 00:21:24,553 Oh, yeah. 301 00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:29,424 But you could use the box to keep.... 302 00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:32,362 You keep... 303 00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:35,031 ...ribbons. 304 00:21:37,033 --> 00:21:39,936 -You guys forgot our anniversary. -No, of course not. 305 00:21:40,137 --> 00:21:43,574 No, we got you guys great gifts. We just had some car trouble. 306 00:21:43,808 --> 00:21:45,877 We came over here as soon as we could... 307 00:21:46,077 --> 00:21:47,979 ...to help you guys clean up but.... 308 00:21:48,412 --> 00:21:49,380 Oh, no. 309 00:21:50,882 --> 00:21:53,018 It looks like you're already done. 310 00:21:53,218 --> 00:21:55,354 All we have to do is take out the trash. 311 00:21:55,554 --> 00:21:57,690 Guess they haven't been outside yet. 312 00:21:58,057 --> 00:22:00,226 You know what? We'll take out the trash. 313 00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:02,428 You guys go and take a nice hot bath. 314 00:22:02,729 --> 00:22:05,498 Yeah. You deserve it after all this hard work. 315 00:22:05,698 --> 00:22:06,967 Pamper yourselves. 316 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,537 -Just.... -Don't make a mess. 317 00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:16,577 Slow and steady, good buddy. 318 00:22:16,778 --> 00:22:17,946 10-4. 319 00:22:18,413 --> 00:22:19,948 -You're tilting. -Sorry. 320 00:22:20,182 --> 00:22:22,952 -Why are you tilting? -You gave me the heavy end. 321 00:22:29,292 --> 00:22:31,494 -Let it go, man. -No, we can get it. 322 00:22:31,694 --> 00:22:33,997 No. Let it go. 323 00:22:34,331 --> 00:22:36,300 We're not leaving it behind. 324 00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:38,502 Okay. 325 00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:41,405 -I'll take my shoe off. -Okay. 326 00:22:45,377 --> 00:22:46,811 Watch it. Stop pushing! 327 00:22:47,012 --> 00:22:49,348 Watch it! Careful. Careful. 328 00:22:52,985 --> 00:22:55,889 -Are we cool? Are we cool? -We're still cool. 329 00:23:04,665 --> 00:23:07,268 Now, take your shoe off, and you get it. 330 00:23:09,537 --> 00:23:12,907 -Okay. -Get it. That's it, that's it. 331 00:23:13,508 --> 00:23:14,743 I got it! 332 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,247 Oh, my God! 333 00:23:24,921 --> 00:23:26,623 You can't do anything right. 334 00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:29,025 Why do you have to mess everything up? 335 00:23:42,241 --> 00:23:45,844 -I got three words: anger management. -Yeah! 336 00:23:46,044 --> 00:23:48,848 Dude, we really need to find your car. 337 00:23:56,090 --> 00:23:58,726 Sorry about yanking you off the street like that. 338 00:23:58,926 --> 00:24:01,796 -We really need to talk to you. -Who are you guys? 339 00:24:01,996 --> 00:24:06,100 My name is Zarnoff. This is Zabu, Zellner, Zilbor, Zelmina... 340 00:24:06,334 --> 00:24:07,836 -...and Jeff. -Hey. 341 00:24:10,005 --> 00:24:13,842 More specifically, we are the recipients of instructions... 342 00:24:14,043 --> 00:24:18,581 ...from extraterrestrials regarding the interstellar path to outer space. 343 00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:21,751 Go ahead and laugh. 344 00:24:21,952 --> 00:24:23,987 We are used to being mocked. 345 00:24:24,621 --> 00:24:26,023 Okay. 346 00:24:26,356 --> 00:24:29,627 We have been sent by our wise and powerful leader... 347 00:24:29,827 --> 00:24:30,828 ...Zoltan... 348 00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:34,666 ...to find you and recover the continuum transfunctioner. 349 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,970 Hey, have you guys ever been to Uranus? 350 00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:40,739 It's supposed to be nice this time of year. 351 00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:44,143 This is important. We intercepted an interstellar message... 352 00:24:44,343 --> 00:24:46,712 ...that leads us to believe that last night... 353 00:24:46,912 --> 00:24:50,250 ...you were in possession of the continuum transfunctioner. 354 00:24:50,451 --> 00:24:51,518 Where is it now? 355 00:24:51,785 --> 00:24:54,288 -The who what? -The continuum transfunctioner... 356 00:24:54,521 --> 00:24:56,991 ...is a very mysterious and powerful device. 357 00:24:57,191 --> 00:24:59,160 -And? -And its mystery... 358 00:24:59,594 --> 00:25:01,897 ...is exceeded only by its power. 359 00:25:02,130 --> 00:25:04,833 Sorry, we don't remember a thing about last night. 360 00:25:05,033 --> 00:25:06,301 You must be careful. 361 00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:10,306 Danger follows the continuum transfunctioner. So says.... 362 00:25:10,506 --> 00:25:12,942 -Zoltan. -Zoltan. 363 00:25:13,709 --> 00:25:15,178 I'll tell you what. 364 00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:19,182 We'll keep our eyes out for the continual trans-ding-a-ling thing... 365 00:25:19,383 --> 00:25:21,618 ...and if we see it, we'll give you a call. 366 00:25:21,818 --> 00:25:23,054 Yes. You must. 367 00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,556 But remember, you are in great danger. 368 00:25:25,756 --> 00:25:26,991 Trust no one. 369 00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,459 Except for us. 370 00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:30,262 Thank you, Jeff. Good point. 371 00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:32,664 Trust no one, except for us. 372 00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,366 Zoltan. 373 00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:44,711 Wait a second. Let's recap. Last night, we lost my car... 374 00:25:44,912 --> 00:25:47,714 ...we accepted stolen money from a transsexual stripper... 375 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:52,120 ...and now some space nerds want us to find something we can't pronounce. 376 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,889 Maybe we should cut back on the shibbying. 377 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,661 -Thanks, dude. -Oh, good! 378 00:25:59,928 --> 00:26:03,165 You're right on time. You pick up special suits. 379 00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:07,937 Mr. Lee, tailor, make special suits for you. Come on. 380 00:26:14,578 --> 00:26:18,582 -Dude, you got a tattoo! -What? 381 00:26:18,816 --> 00:26:21,286 -So did you, dude. -Naw. 382 00:26:23,021 --> 00:26:25,290 -Dude, what does my tattoo say? -"Sweet"! 383 00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:27,826 -What about mine? -"Dude." What does mine say? 384 00:26:28,026 --> 00:26:29,127 "Sweet." 385 00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:30,596 -What about mine? -"Dude." 386 00:26:30,829 --> 00:26:32,331 -What does mine say? -"Sweet"! 387 00:26:32,565 --> 00:26:34,534 -What about mine? -"Dude." And mine? 388 00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,536 "Sweet." What about mine? 389 00:26:36,736 --> 00:26:38,204 "Dude." What does mine say? 390 00:26:38,438 --> 00:26:40,307 "Sweet"! What about mine? 391 00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,409 "Dude." What does mine say? 392 00:26:42,609 --> 00:26:45,312 "Sweet"! What about mine? 393 00:26:45,713 --> 00:26:48,482 "Dude"! What does mine say? 394 00:26:48,683 --> 00:26:50,284 "Sweet"! 395 00:26:51,552 --> 00:26:53,088 Idiots! 396 00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:58,227 Your tattoo says "dude," your tattoo says "sweet." 397 00:26:58,928 --> 00:27:00,196 Got it? 398 00:27:02,799 --> 00:27:04,534 Sorry. 399 00:27:04,734 --> 00:27:06,436 -Hey. -Hey. 400 00:27:06,903 --> 00:27:08,672 -Sorry. -Sorry. 401 00:27:15,847 --> 00:27:18,817 -Shibby. -Very sharp, very sharp. 402 00:27:19,050 --> 00:27:22,020 You two number one, extra-special good-looking guys. 403 00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,690 -We got these last night? -You were pretty-- 404 00:27:26,892 --> 00:27:29,095 -How much are these? -You already pay for. 405 00:27:29,328 --> 00:27:33,566 I just do some minor alterations. Add the secret pockets you order. 406 00:27:33,934 --> 00:27:36,403 Maybe we got the continual trans-sphincter. 407 00:27:36,604 --> 00:27:37,738 What's--? 408 00:27:38,272 --> 00:27:39,706 Oh, dude! 409 00:27:43,778 --> 00:27:45,380 Dude! 410 00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:54,791 Sweet! 411 00:28:11,075 --> 00:28:12,077 Cool! 412 00:28:12,310 --> 00:28:15,447 -How did we pay for these suits? -Oh, you pay cash. 413 00:28:15,647 --> 00:28:19,418 Cold hard cash, crispy new hundred-dollar bills. 414 00:28:20,218 --> 00:28:22,722 Hey, did you see what car we were driving? 415 00:28:23,122 --> 00:28:24,957 Me? No, I don't see no car. 416 00:28:31,765 --> 00:28:33,033 Hello? 417 00:28:34,702 --> 00:28:36,671 Dude, we bought cell phones. 418 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,209 That's not all we bought, dude. 419 00:29:29,063 --> 00:29:30,565 Shibby! 420 00:30:47,651 --> 00:30:52,089 Man, I cannot believe we leased a car last night. God! 421 00:30:52,289 --> 00:30:54,925 -But who's Johnny Potsmoker? -That's my alter ego. 422 00:30:55,126 --> 00:30:56,861 I thought that was my alter ego. 423 00:30:57,062 --> 00:30:59,331 No, that's my alter ego. 424 00:30:59,531 --> 00:31:02,468 -Your alter ego is Smokey McPot. -Oh, yeah. 425 00:31:04,136 --> 00:31:06,105 You're never gonna figure that out. 426 00:31:07,006 --> 00:31:08,107 Okay, dude. 427 00:31:08,308 --> 00:31:10,643 There it is. Break time's over. 428 00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:12,545 Time to find my car. 429 00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:15,015 This is impossible. 430 00:31:15,549 --> 00:31:17,484 Are you Jesse and Chester? 431 00:31:20,488 --> 00:31:22,223 Are you Jesse and Chester? 432 00:31:23,558 --> 00:31:25,393 I don't know. Why? 433 00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,562 If you are Jesse and Chester... 434 00:31:27,796 --> 00:31:30,266 ...perhaps we will give you erotic pleasure. 435 00:31:30,733 --> 00:31:32,034 -That's us. -Right here. 436 00:31:32,234 --> 00:31:35,071 We are looking for the continuum transfunctioner. 437 00:31:35,271 --> 00:31:39,609 -Who are you guys? -We are not guys. We are hot chicks. 438 00:31:40,110 --> 00:31:42,312 She's totally right. 439 00:31:42,513 --> 00:31:44,181 The continuum transfunctioner... 440 00:31:44,381 --> 00:31:46,450 ...is a very mysterious and powerful device. 441 00:31:46,951 --> 00:31:48,653 -And? -And its mystery... 442 00:31:48,853 --> 00:31:50,488 ...is only exceeded by its power. 443 00:31:50,788 --> 00:31:52,256 That doesn't really help. 444 00:32:13,047 --> 00:32:17,218 We will give you pleasure now, if you give us the continuum transfunctioner. 445 00:32:17,451 --> 00:32:21,189 Let me get your proposition straight. First you give us... 446 00:32:21,423 --> 00:32:24,993 ...the pleasure, then we give you the continuum transfunctioner? 447 00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:28,397 No. First you give us the continuum transfunctioner... 448 00:32:28,597 --> 00:32:30,833 ...then we give you the pleasure. 449 00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:33,036 I've heard that one before. 450 00:32:33,269 --> 00:32:34,905 Okay, look. How about this? 451 00:32:35,105 --> 00:32:37,507 You give me pleasure... 452 00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:40,645 ...then we'll give you the continuum transfunctioner. 453 00:32:40,845 --> 00:32:43,147 -If there's time, you do him. -Dude-- 454 00:32:43,347 --> 00:32:44,782 -Deal. -Sweet! 455 00:32:44,983 --> 00:32:46,617 -Wait a second. -Thank you. 456 00:32:46,818 --> 00:32:50,054 Come here. Those space nerds told us not to trust anybody. 457 00:32:50,255 --> 00:32:54,827 Yeah, but for the love of God, they're offering us oral pleasure! 458 00:32:55,027 --> 00:32:56,429 What--? 459 00:32:57,296 --> 00:32:59,198 -Okay. -Okay. 460 00:32:59,399 --> 00:33:01,568 Hey. Where did the hot chicks go? 461 00:33:04,104 --> 00:33:06,206 Where's my money, boys? 462 00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:09,377 We were just going to get it. 463 00:33:10,578 --> 00:33:13,548 You picked the wrong transsexual stripper to screw with. 464 00:33:13,781 --> 00:33:15,650 You're pinching me. 465 00:33:16,785 --> 00:33:19,955 Well, let's see what the cops have to say about this. 466 00:33:20,322 --> 00:33:22,625 -You're busted. -Busted. 467 00:33:22,925 --> 00:33:26,462 -B-U-S-T, busted. -This one. 468 00:33:27,263 --> 00:33:30,433 -These guys. -Chester! I saw this on COPS! 469 00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:33,470 -Kick hard and hit back! -Bye-bye, boys. 470 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:35,238 Put on the siren. 471 00:33:37,241 --> 00:33:40,011 You're sticking to the "I don't remember" crap. 472 00:33:40,245 --> 00:33:41,679 Yeah. We don't remember. 473 00:33:41,913 --> 00:33:44,049 Last night, your car was spotted leaving... 474 00:33:44,249 --> 00:33:47,453 -...the scene of a major drug deal. -You found my car. 475 00:33:47,686 --> 00:33:51,090 You guys got more important things to worry about right now. 476 00:33:51,524 --> 00:33:54,661 Where were you between midnight and 2 a.m. last night? 477 00:33:54,961 --> 00:33:58,799 I told you, okay? We don't remember anything. 478 00:33:58,999 --> 00:34:01,935 I see we're gonna have to do this the hard way. 479 00:34:03,704 --> 00:34:07,809 Where were you last night between the hours of midnight and 2 a.m.? 480 00:34:08,142 --> 00:34:10,044 We don't know. 481 00:34:19,622 --> 00:34:20,689 What the--? 482 00:34:25,462 --> 00:34:27,798 -Now do you remember? -No. 483 00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:40,612 -How about now? -No. 484 00:34:50,256 --> 00:34:53,059 Hey, leave him alone! He doesn't know anything! 485 00:34:53,994 --> 00:34:57,364 -Now are you ready to talk? -Dude, we don't remember! 486 00:34:57,998 --> 00:35:01,202 Okay, here are the whips you guys wanted. 487 00:35:03,271 --> 00:35:05,306 Hey, it's the donut guys. 488 00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:09,278 These two were at the Donut House last night. 489 00:35:09,478 --> 00:35:13,081 We started talking and they bought donuts for the whole precinct. 490 00:35:13,282 --> 00:35:15,284 What time did all this happen? 491 00:35:15,518 --> 00:35:18,488 Let's see. Must've been between midnight and 2 a.m. 492 00:35:19,256 --> 00:35:20,490 Damn! 493 00:35:20,858 --> 00:35:24,395 You can't be the guys we're looking for. Sorry. 494 00:35:31,002 --> 00:35:32,103 Hang in there, bro. 495 00:35:33,271 --> 00:35:35,740 -Come on, Kojak. -All right. 496 00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:38,344 I'm really sorry about all this. 497 00:35:38,577 --> 00:35:41,214 Looks like it was a case of mistaken identity. 498 00:35:41,414 --> 00:35:44,384 Actually, those are the real criminals over there. 499 00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:47,086 One of our officers... 500 00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:51,158 -...made a wrong identification. -Yeah, that was me. 501 00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:52,960 I'm sorry about that, fellas. 502 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,596 Rick will tell you exactly where your car is. 503 00:35:57,565 --> 00:35:59,601 -We found the car. -We found the car. 504 00:35:59,834 --> 00:36:01,570 We found the car! 505 00:36:01,770 --> 00:36:03,872 -Yeah, we found the car. -Found my car. 506 00:36:04,106 --> 00:36:08,377 Now we get the gifts, go to the twins' house, and get our special treats. 507 00:36:08,577 --> 00:36:10,012 Sweet! 508 00:36:10,246 --> 00:36:12,916 Give us the keys and we're out of here. 509 00:36:13,116 --> 00:36:14,584 You got it. 510 00:36:17,187 --> 00:36:19,657 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 511 00:36:19,857 --> 00:36:21,259 What's the problem, Rick? 512 00:36:21,559 --> 00:36:23,260 Nothing, I just-- Boy. 513 00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,129 Okay. Jeez. 514 00:36:26,865 --> 00:36:30,568 Did you say you wanted your car back, or you wanted it impounded? 515 00:36:31,003 --> 00:36:33,906 We want the car back, please. 516 00:36:34,106 --> 00:36:37,610 Oh, I see. That's kind of funny, because what happened was... 517 00:36:37,844 --> 00:36:41,748 ...I accidentally sent your car to the impound. 518 00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:43,383 -Rick. -I know. 519 00:36:43,584 --> 00:36:45,919 I can definitely tell you this. You guys... 520 00:36:46,119 --> 00:36:48,322 ...can get the car back in a few days. 521 00:36:48,522 --> 00:36:51,926 We don't have a few days, Rick. We need the car back now. 522 00:36:52,927 --> 00:36:57,399 Say, how about a treat? There's Bavarian cream. 523 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,137 -Yeah. -That's a good one there. 524 00:37:02,371 --> 00:37:05,174 -It's good. -It's great. I have a lot of them. 525 00:37:05,374 --> 00:37:07,343 -You know what? Forget about it. -Okay. 526 00:37:07,577 --> 00:37:09,980 -Psych! -Oh, jeez. You got me. 527 00:37:10,180 --> 00:37:12,516 Hey, fellows, who's the goose? Me. 528 00:37:13,016 --> 00:37:14,318 You're such a joker. 529 00:37:16,988 --> 00:37:17,955 One. 530 00:37:20,725 --> 00:37:23,495 -Damn! -Have you seen Jesse and Chester? 531 00:37:23,695 --> 00:37:26,598 -What? -We're looking for Jesse and Chester. 532 00:37:27,032 --> 00:37:28,768 I don't know where they are... 533 00:37:28,968 --> 00:37:31,170 ...but I bet those punks over there do. 534 00:37:31,971 --> 00:37:35,675 So then, remember? I said, "Later, dudes." 535 00:37:38,578 --> 00:37:42,016 -Why were you with those jerks anyway? -They were just being nice... 536 00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:43,684 ...unlike someone I know. 537 00:37:43,917 --> 00:37:46,887 Maybe it's time I find someone with a sensitive side. 538 00:37:47,188 --> 00:37:49,457 Someone who respects me as a person. 539 00:37:49,657 --> 00:37:52,060 Maybe somebody like Jesse or Chester. 540 00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:58,868 Okay, listen up. We're gonna find Jesse and Chester. 541 00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:02,072 And when we do, stoner-bashing time! 542 00:38:02,305 --> 00:38:05,175 -Do you know Jesse and Chester? -Who are you? 543 00:38:05,375 --> 00:38:08,579 -We are hot chicks. -Yes, you are. 544 00:38:08,779 --> 00:38:11,715 We believe they have the continuum transfunctioner. 545 00:38:12,049 --> 00:38:15,887 However, if you recover the continuum transfunctioner from them... 546 00:38:16,087 --> 00:38:19,057 ...and bring it to us, we will give you erotic pleasure. 547 00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:21,060 You've got yourselves a deal. 548 00:38:21,460 --> 00:38:23,596 Okay, guys. Okay, guys, new plan. 549 00:38:23,796 --> 00:38:27,667 First, we find those stoners, get the continuum transfunctioner... 550 00:38:27,867 --> 00:38:30,904 -...then, it's jerk-bashing time. -Yeah! 551 00:38:31,371 --> 00:38:32,839 Oh, yeah. 552 00:38:33,073 --> 00:38:35,242 I just remembered where you might be able to find them. 553 00:38:37,311 --> 00:38:38,278 Send those chicks to meet the twins. 554 00:38:38,712 --> 00:38:41,082 That'll put those dudes in some hot water. 555 00:38:43,818 --> 00:38:46,688 Try it again. Okay? Just knock it out of the park. 556 00:38:46,888 --> 00:38:48,456 All right, give it a shot. 557 00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:50,893 Okay, you almost got it. 558 00:38:51,093 --> 00:38:54,897 Now just concentrate on the beep, swing as hard as you can... 559 00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:57,066 ...and keep your ear on the ball. Okay? 560 00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:59,569 All right, little buddy, you can do it! 561 00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,811 I did it! I did it! I hit it! I did it! 562 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:14,219 -Do you know Jesse and Chester? -Pardon me? 563 00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:17,923 -We're looking for Jesse and Chester. -Who are you? 564 00:39:18,257 --> 00:39:20,626 We're extremely hot chicks with big breasts. 565 00:39:21,027 --> 00:39:22,395 Really? 566 00:39:23,663 --> 00:39:26,299 Can I touch your face? It's the only way I can see... 567 00:39:26,499 --> 00:39:29,069 -...who I'm talking to. -Okay. 568 00:39:30,804 --> 00:39:34,141 Wow! You are hot. 569 00:39:41,649 --> 00:39:43,652 Is this normal? 570 00:39:44,052 --> 00:39:47,189 Oh, yeah. This is how blind people shake hands. 571 00:39:47,723 --> 00:39:49,525 -Sammy, you're up next. -Okay-- 572 00:39:49,725 --> 00:39:52,061 -Come on. -What the--? Sis! 573 00:39:52,595 --> 00:39:55,899 Excuse me, a little help. Wanda. Wilma. 574 00:39:56,099 --> 00:39:58,869 -Anthony? -Anthony, what is going on? 575 00:39:59,069 --> 00:40:01,773 Nothing. I was just reading. 576 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,609 Bye, ladies, I need to be alone now. 577 00:40:04,809 --> 00:40:08,046 -We're looking for Jesse and Chester. -Who are you guys? 578 00:40:08,246 --> 00:40:10,515 We are not guys. We are hot chicks. 579 00:40:11,183 --> 00:40:14,052 We're supposed to meet them later, but we can't wait. 580 00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:17,991 -We don't know where they are. -And frankly, we don't care. 581 00:40:22,996 --> 00:40:26,400 -Dude, let's call Nelson. -Yeah. See if he's home. 582 00:40:30,371 --> 00:40:32,273 -Hello? -Hey, Nelson, it's Chester. 583 00:40:32,573 --> 00:40:34,876 Hey, Chester! No, it's me, Tommy. 584 00:40:35,443 --> 00:40:37,579 Your buddy Nelson is busy at the moment. 585 00:40:38,147 --> 00:40:40,282 This is bad karma, boys. 586 00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:44,053 Hey, tell me where that continuum transfunctioner is. 587 00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:46,689 No hablo English. 588 00:40:46,889 --> 00:40:50,160 Your friend's dead meat unless I get that continuum transfunctioner. 589 00:40:51,628 --> 00:40:53,430 Jackal! Get your pipe! 590 00:40:55,365 --> 00:40:57,568 -My balls! -What was that? 591 00:40:57,768 --> 00:41:01,873 Tommy's gotten to Nelson! He knows about the continuum transfunctioner. 592 00:41:02,073 --> 00:41:05,577 Those double-crossing sexy, sexy sluts! 593 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,485 I am so sick of hearing about this continuum transfunctioner thing. 594 00:41:12,685 --> 00:41:16,622 -If one more person asks-- -You got the continuum transfunctioner? 595 00:41:16,957 --> 00:41:18,425 Who are you guys? 596 00:41:18,625 --> 00:41:21,862 We are the keepers of the continuum transfunctioner. 597 00:41:22,462 --> 00:41:25,900 It is all that stands between the universe and destruction. 598 00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:28,236 It is a mysterious and powerful device. 599 00:41:28,436 --> 00:41:31,339 And its mystery is only exceeded by its power. 600 00:41:31,539 --> 00:41:32,975 -We know. -We don't have it. 601 00:41:33,175 --> 00:41:34,142 But the universe? 602 00:41:34,376 --> 00:41:36,478 Screw the universe. 603 00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:44,354 Screw the universe? 604 00:41:57,368 --> 00:42:00,205 Chimpanzees often use sticks as crude tools. 605 00:42:00,405 --> 00:42:02,674 That is one smart primate. 606 00:42:06,513 --> 00:42:08,481 -Hey. -Hey. 607 00:42:08,714 --> 00:42:10,050 What are you doing here? 608 00:42:10,250 --> 00:42:13,620 We just wanted to see how that car trouble thing was going. 609 00:42:13,921 --> 00:42:17,524 Oh, the car. It's in the shop. 610 00:42:17,758 --> 00:42:18,726 Really? 611 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,830 The shop run by beautiful women in black jumpsuits? 612 00:42:22,030 --> 00:42:24,165 The ones you were hanging with earlier? 613 00:42:24,365 --> 00:42:27,736 -Well, you see, Jesse thought-- -Today's our anniversary. 614 00:42:27,936 --> 00:42:30,839 -Not only do you not have gifts. -But you guys ditch us... 615 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,508 ...for some big-breasted bimbos... 616 00:42:32,741 --> 00:42:35,678 -...while we're cleaning our house.... -Which you trashed. 617 00:42:35,878 --> 00:42:37,113 Twice. 618 00:42:37,313 --> 00:42:39,082 -You're sucky boyfriends. -But-- 619 00:42:39,282 --> 00:42:43,320 We just wanted to come and tell you in person that it's over. 620 00:42:46,023 --> 00:42:48,793 -Wilma? -Thank you, Wanda. 621 00:42:58,170 --> 00:43:00,105 -They're totally right. -Yeah. 622 00:43:00,305 --> 00:43:02,442 We are sucky boyfriends. 623 00:43:03,843 --> 00:43:06,846 Do you even remember what kind of gifts we got them? 624 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,117 -I bet we got them sucky gifts. -Yeah. 625 00:43:10,717 --> 00:43:12,453 We suck. 626 00:43:19,628 --> 00:43:23,131 Wait, I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. 627 00:43:23,699 --> 00:43:25,568 You should go sit on the toilet. 628 00:43:26,001 --> 00:43:28,671 No, no. You know what the feeling is? 629 00:43:29,505 --> 00:43:30,840 It's love. 630 00:43:32,876 --> 00:43:34,778 -Is that what that is? -Yeah. 631 00:43:34,978 --> 00:43:38,115 I'm in love with Wanda. And you're in love with Wilma. 632 00:43:39,049 --> 00:43:40,618 But see, now that we know... 633 00:43:40,851 --> 00:43:43,788 ...that we've been sucky boyfriends, we can change. 634 00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:46,791 -We can? -Yeah. And you know what else? 635 00:43:46,991 --> 00:43:50,629 I'll bet you that we did buy them super-cool anniversary gifts. 636 00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:52,965 You know why? Because we love them. 637 00:43:53,266 --> 00:43:55,134 Are they wrapped in cool paper? 638 00:43:55,401 --> 00:43:57,670 Yeah. I'll tell you what we'll do. 639 00:43:58,037 --> 00:44:01,541 We'll go to the impound lot, get the car, which has the gifts in it... 640 00:44:01,775 --> 00:44:05,513 ...and then go to the twins' house, and beg for them to take us back! 641 00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:07,982 Yeah! Let's do it. 642 00:44:09,150 --> 00:44:12,186 No, hold on. I gotta take a crap. 643 00:44:12,453 --> 00:44:13,688 -Told you. -I know. 644 00:44:13,888 --> 00:44:14,856 I know your body. 645 00:44:26,702 --> 00:44:30,607 Boys, I got some good news. We just got your car in this morning. 646 00:44:31,008 --> 00:44:32,342 All right! 647 00:44:32,542 --> 00:44:34,111 But the bad news is... 648 00:44:34,345 --> 00:44:37,581 ...not only did Officer Boyer send your car to the impound... 649 00:44:37,782 --> 00:44:41,052 ...he tagged it for auction and it was sold this afternoon. 650 00:44:41,419 --> 00:44:42,387 Rick. 651 00:44:43,488 --> 00:44:47,459 -Do you know who bought the car? -I have the address right here. 652 00:44:47,693 --> 00:44:49,361 All right. 653 00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,997 But it'd be against Regulation... 654 00:44:52,198 --> 00:44:55,736 ...457XY2-665 to give it to you. 655 00:44:56,002 --> 00:44:57,404 Come on. Just-- 656 00:44:59,039 --> 00:45:01,875 Reaching onto this side of the counter isn't allowed. 657 00:45:02,143 --> 00:45:05,780 The last guy who tried it ended up with three broken fingers. 658 00:45:09,251 --> 00:45:11,820 -Reach it. -You can reach it! 659 00:45:12,020 --> 00:45:14,456 No, I got-- One of these has carpal tunnel. 660 00:45:14,656 --> 00:45:17,260 What if I further injure myself? 661 00:45:18,894 --> 00:45:20,196 I have to do everything. 662 00:45:20,396 --> 00:45:23,833 I'm a better lookout. My vision's better. You know that. 663 00:45:26,436 --> 00:45:27,838 That's it, that's it. 664 00:45:30,207 --> 00:45:32,910 -Got it! -We're good, we're good. 665 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,249 -What are you doing? -Dude, I'm stuck! 666 00:45:38,650 --> 00:45:41,387 -Come on. I'm stuck. -You seriously stuck? 667 00:45:43,689 --> 00:45:44,724 Don't! 668 00:45:46,125 --> 00:45:47,627 Dude, here she comes! Help! 669 00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,029 Get it! 670 00:45:57,538 --> 00:45:59,540 Hold on, hold on. I gotta get-- 671 00:45:59,774 --> 00:46:01,342 Okay, okay. 672 00:46:03,912 --> 00:46:05,414 -I got it, I got it. -Help me! 673 00:46:05,647 --> 00:46:08,083 We'll spit on it. You know, lubrication. 674 00:46:08,284 --> 00:46:10,119 -That's gross, dude! -Okay, fine. 675 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,455 -Here she comes. -Spit! Spit! 676 00:46:15,692 --> 00:46:19,396 Good news. I talked to my supervisor and he said I could give you... 677 00:46:19,596 --> 00:46:22,199 -...the address after all. -That's great. 678 00:46:23,533 --> 00:46:25,470 But the bad news is... 679 00:46:26,303 --> 00:46:29,307 ...I'm gonna have to confiscate your pinky. 680 00:46:45,358 --> 00:46:48,728 -All right, next stop, find my car. -Good. 681 00:46:48,928 --> 00:46:52,333 Hey, check it out. Totally gay Nordic dudes at 3:00. 682 00:46:59,975 --> 00:47:02,777 Wait. I got an idea. 683 00:47:02,978 --> 00:47:05,514 We just ask for the continuum transfunctioner? 684 00:47:05,748 --> 00:47:08,885 -Yeah. It's that easy. -Thank you both very much. 685 00:47:09,085 --> 00:47:12,755 -Hey, don't mention it. -See you around the galaxy, dudes. 686 00:47:16,526 --> 00:47:17,862 Time to get your car. 687 00:47:33,179 --> 00:47:35,248 The creepy space nerds are back, dude. 688 00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,089 Dude, do not worry about them. 689 00:47:42,289 --> 00:47:44,558 Yeah, they're totally harmless. 690 00:48:03,813 --> 00:48:06,249 Now may I have the continuum transfunctioner? 691 00:48:07,284 --> 00:48:08,585 Not quite yet. 692 00:48:08,952 --> 00:48:13,491 Would you consider giving it to me while I continue to give you pleasure? 693 00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:15,826 Okay. 694 00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,864 -Wake up, dude. -Oral pleasure? 695 00:48:20,298 --> 00:48:21,333 What? 696 00:48:22,934 --> 00:48:24,002 Nothing. 697 00:48:25,571 --> 00:48:27,873 Get dressed. We're going to the big house. 698 00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:33,380 Nice outfits. 699 00:48:33,580 --> 00:48:36,583 They're not outfits. They're interstellar jumpsuits. 700 00:48:36,817 --> 00:48:39,987 -Hey. Nice interstellar jumpsuits. -Yeah. 701 00:48:48,429 --> 00:48:50,398 Wow! Nice place. 702 00:48:50,598 --> 00:48:52,234 Is this where Zoltan--? 703 00:48:52,935 --> 00:48:55,104 -Is this where Zoltan hangs out? -No. 704 00:48:55,437 --> 00:48:57,239 This is his parents' house. 705 00:48:57,439 --> 00:48:59,008 We're going over there. 706 00:49:00,910 --> 00:49:02,746 -A barn? -Is it red? 707 00:49:02,946 --> 00:49:05,315 -No. -Then it's not a barn! 708 00:49:11,855 --> 00:49:15,160 -This is creepy. -It's like a country music video. 709 00:49:15,627 --> 00:49:19,331 All right, that's far enough. You, there. You, over there. 710 00:49:19,531 --> 00:49:21,333 No messing around. 711 00:49:22,368 --> 00:49:24,570 Okay, do you remember which one it is? 712 00:49:36,917 --> 00:49:39,253 -Here, let me show you. -I'll do it. 713 00:49:39,453 --> 00:49:41,322 -It's that one. -Hey, grab the-- 714 00:49:43,825 --> 00:49:45,027 Keys. 715 00:49:47,229 --> 00:49:51,901 Grab the fire extinguisher and bonk those dudes on the head. 716 00:49:55,105 --> 00:49:56,939 You want the fire extinguisher? 717 00:50:07,685 --> 00:50:10,155 -Enough! -No, no, it's that one. 718 00:50:10,355 --> 00:50:11,690 Fudge! 719 00:50:28,842 --> 00:50:30,477 Cool. 720 00:50:30,678 --> 00:50:31,645 What, are you deaf? 721 00:50:31,879 --> 00:50:33,781 Hey, you don't have to be mean. 722 00:50:33,981 --> 00:50:35,883 How are we gonna get out of here? 723 00:50:54,238 --> 00:50:57,675 Your attention, please. Our imperial commander, Zoltan... 724 00:50:57,908 --> 00:51:00,878 ...requests your presence in the officentary rec room... 725 00:51:01,078 --> 00:51:04,115 ...for a Level 7 meeting. Over. 726 00:51:25,305 --> 00:51:27,274 It is now my great pleasure... 727 00:51:27,474 --> 00:51:32,413 ...to present to you our wise and powerful leader... 728 00:51:33,248 --> 00:51:35,751 -...Zoltan. -Zoltan. 729 00:51:35,984 --> 00:51:37,319 Zoltan. 730 00:51:50,367 --> 00:51:52,402 The time has come, you guys. 731 00:51:59,310 --> 00:52:01,579 We are finally going to fulfill... 732 00:52:01,780 --> 00:52:04,516 ...our prophecy of outer space travel. 733 00:52:04,716 --> 00:52:05,985 Zoltan. 734 00:52:06,185 --> 00:52:08,821 They laughed at us when we said aliens existed. 735 00:52:09,021 --> 00:52:11,725 They mocked us when we wore bubble-wrap jumpsuits. 736 00:52:11,925 --> 00:52:14,327 But who's laughing now, huh? 737 00:52:17,931 --> 00:52:19,934 I'll tell you who's laughing. We are! 738 00:52:20,167 --> 00:52:21,234 Zoltan. 739 00:52:21,468 --> 00:52:24,739 Soon we will leave this lame planet... 740 00:52:25,039 --> 00:52:27,742 ...and fly through outer space... 741 00:52:27,943 --> 00:52:31,012 ...with cool aliens who like us. 742 00:52:31,246 --> 00:52:35,051 It is going to be awesome! 743 00:52:35,251 --> 00:52:36,552 Zoltan! 744 00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:44,594 That's them! They knocked us out and stole our space suits! 745 00:52:45,362 --> 00:52:47,364 -No, we didn't. -Yeah, you did! 746 00:52:47,698 --> 00:52:49,166 -No, we didn't. -Yes, you did! 747 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,202 -No, we didn't. -Yes, you did! 748 00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:54,839 Hey, who you gonna believe, us or them? 749 00:52:58,443 --> 00:53:01,280 So you're Jesse and Chester. 750 00:53:02,715 --> 00:53:05,351 I've been looking forward to meeting you guys... 751 00:53:05,551 --> 00:53:07,754 ...although, sorry it had to be like this. 752 00:53:09,188 --> 00:53:10,290 -Chester! -Jesse! 753 00:53:10,590 --> 00:53:12,259 -Wanda. -Wilma! 754 00:53:12,693 --> 00:53:14,928 Normally, we wouldn't resort to violence... 755 00:53:15,129 --> 00:53:18,299 ...but we are dealing with the continuum transfunctioner. 756 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,637 If you don't deliver it to us, your girlfriends are history. 757 00:53:24,273 --> 00:53:26,675 Don't worry, girls. We'll save you. 758 00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:28,677 Yeah, you can depend on us. 759 00:53:29,979 --> 00:53:31,413 Enough. 760 00:53:31,714 --> 00:53:36,586 Go now, and bring us the continuum transfunctioner. 761 00:53:37,954 --> 00:53:41,224 And be quiet on your way out. My parents are taking a nap. 762 00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:53,238 And then tell us where... 763 00:53:53,439 --> 00:53:56,475 -...the continuum transfunctioner is. -And then? 764 00:53:56,809 --> 00:53:59,878 -And then we'll be able to go get it. -And then? 765 00:54:03,417 --> 00:54:05,886 Can I get an order of shrimp fried rice? 766 00:54:10,825 --> 00:54:13,361 -I don't see the car. -It better be in there. 767 00:54:13,595 --> 00:54:15,229 I almost lost my pinky for it. 768 00:54:16,731 --> 00:54:20,569 Oh, man, I'm sensing something very Canadian about this place. 769 00:54:27,009 --> 00:54:28,544 Plan B. 770 00:54:32,082 --> 00:54:33,383 All right. 771 00:54:34,117 --> 00:54:35,385 Are you ready? 772 00:54:35,585 --> 00:54:37,288 Let's do this. 773 00:54:37,688 --> 00:54:41,259 One, two, three. 774 00:54:47,432 --> 00:54:48,500 I'm okay. You okay? 775 00:54:50,769 --> 00:54:51,870 Shibby. 776 00:55:27,310 --> 00:55:30,547 Dude, it's a llama. 777 00:55:30,781 --> 00:55:33,951 It's not a llama. It's an ostrich. 778 00:55:34,152 --> 00:55:36,654 Okay, okay, okay... 779 00:55:36,888 --> 00:55:39,157 ...very slowly, let's turn around... 780 00:55:40,091 --> 00:55:42,928 -...and go back the other way. -Okay. 781 00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:48,968 New plan. 782 00:55:49,168 --> 00:55:53,707 We turn around again, very slowly... 783 00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:57,344 -...and go back the other way. -Okay. 784 00:56:04,218 --> 00:56:05,887 They're everywhere. 785 00:56:08,890 --> 00:56:09,891 What now? 786 00:56:10,458 --> 00:56:14,229 Hey, I saw this thing about ostriches on Animal Planet. 787 00:56:14,430 --> 00:56:16,332 -They're llamas, dude. -No. 788 00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:21,004 What you're supposed to do is stand very still... 789 00:56:21,204 --> 00:56:24,307 ...and eventually, they'll get bored and go away. 790 00:56:29,246 --> 00:56:30,614 I think it's working. 791 00:56:38,857 --> 00:56:40,659 Stupid llamas! 792 00:56:43,162 --> 00:56:44,397 Chester! 793 00:56:48,701 --> 00:56:50,403 Just get in this car! 794 00:56:52,506 --> 00:56:53,774 Go, go! 795 00:56:55,943 --> 00:56:57,611 What do ostriches eat? 796 00:56:57,812 --> 00:56:59,180 -Why? -Well... 797 00:56:59,380 --> 00:57:01,349 ...if they eat peanuts... 798 00:57:01,549 --> 00:57:04,186 ...we can just throw a peanut and they'll go away. 799 00:57:04,586 --> 00:57:08,490 -We don't have any peanuts. -Weak! We're screwed! 800 00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:19,903 They're leaving. It worked. 801 00:57:20,136 --> 00:57:21,538 What worked? 802 00:57:21,738 --> 00:57:23,307 Whatever we did! 803 00:57:40,326 --> 00:57:43,596 Now may I have the continuum transfunctioner? 804 00:57:44,864 --> 00:57:46,332 Not quite yet. 805 00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:47,968 Please? 806 00:57:51,772 --> 00:57:53,107 Scary dream, huh? 807 00:57:53,308 --> 00:57:55,510 What's up? My name is Mark. 808 00:57:56,911 --> 00:58:00,015 -Where are we? -You're in the punishment room. 809 00:58:00,249 --> 00:58:03,452 This is where he likes to keep the ostrich poachers. 810 00:58:03,786 --> 00:58:06,155 -Poachers? -Yeah, that's right. 811 00:58:06,356 --> 00:58:09,959 I've been in this cage for three years, five months, and 17 days... 812 00:58:10,193 --> 00:58:11,728 ...but who's counting? 813 00:58:13,797 --> 00:58:14,765 How's my breath? 814 00:58:17,601 --> 00:58:18,769 That bad, huh? 815 00:58:18,969 --> 00:58:22,506 Where you guys from? I'm from Connecticut. Hi. Mark. 816 00:58:22,807 --> 00:58:23,775 There we go. 817 00:58:24,809 --> 00:58:26,778 Chester! Get him off! 818 00:58:27,145 --> 00:58:28,446 Pierre! 819 00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:33,119 No, that's not what it looks like. Maybe a little bit. 820 00:58:33,353 --> 00:58:35,321 -How was your nap? -Shut up! 821 00:58:35,688 --> 00:58:39,225 Okay. Well, somebody sure is a Grumpy Gus today. 822 00:58:41,895 --> 00:58:46,300 In France, when a man is caught poaching ostriches... 823 00:58:46,501 --> 00:58:51,272 ...we shave his head, and we make him run through the fields. 824 00:58:51,472 --> 00:58:53,141 Oh, God, that's the good part. 825 00:58:53,341 --> 00:58:55,544 Once you have seen this... 826 00:58:57,579 --> 00:58:59,882 ...you are never quite the same. 827 00:59:00,249 --> 00:59:03,119 -Okay. -Tell me about it. I used to model. 828 00:59:03,687 --> 00:59:06,022 Lucky for you, I am an honorable man. 829 00:59:06,423 --> 00:59:08,191 A what? I'm sorry? 830 00:59:08,592 --> 00:59:10,861 I said, "I am an honorable man." 831 00:59:11,128 --> 00:59:13,364 I'm sorry, I-- "Honorgable"? 832 00:59:13,564 --> 00:59:15,199 -Honorable. -"Honorgable." 833 00:59:15,399 --> 00:59:16,801 -Honorable. -"Honorgable." 834 00:59:17,001 --> 00:59:19,270 -What are you saying? -Honorable. 835 00:59:19,471 --> 00:59:21,673 I think you're trying to say honorable. 836 00:59:21,874 --> 00:59:24,610 -Shut up! -Hey! I'm sorry. 837 00:59:25,144 --> 00:59:28,647 All right, here it is. I am going to ask you a question. 838 00:59:28,881 --> 00:59:31,384 If you get it right, I will set you free. 839 00:59:31,951 --> 00:59:35,956 If you get it wrong, well, you will be spending a lot of time... 840 00:59:36,189 --> 00:59:38,692 ...with the ever-popular Mark. 841 00:59:40,127 --> 00:59:41,595 I can be very nice. 842 00:59:42,063 --> 00:59:44,365 All right. Here it is. 843 00:59:44,766 --> 00:59:47,435 What is the average running speed... 844 00:59:48,036 --> 00:59:52,641 ...of a full-grown male African ostrich? 845 00:59:52,875 --> 00:59:54,243 Pass. 846 00:59:54,977 --> 00:59:57,146 -Pass to me. I know it. -Pass to Mark. 847 00:59:57,347 --> 01:00:01,484 You cannot pass! Shut up! Do I have to hose you down again? 848 01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:02,886 Don't hose me! 849 01:00:03,086 --> 01:00:04,154 Maybe later. 850 01:00:04,488 --> 01:00:07,291 -Dude, we're dead. -Hey, not so fast. 851 01:00:08,626 --> 01:00:12,397 The full-grown male African ostrich or the Latin Struthio camelus... 852 01:00:12,897 --> 01:00:16,001 ...can grow to an average size of 6 feet, 6 inches... 853 01:00:16,235 --> 01:00:17,936 ...and weigh from 225 to 350 pounds... 854 01:00:18,604 --> 01:00:21,874 ...and can get up to an average speed of 27 miles per hour. 855 01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:24,076 This is absolutely correct! 856 01:00:24,744 --> 01:00:25,745 Animal Planet. 857 01:00:26,012 --> 01:00:27,547 Well, I said, "Brown." 858 01:00:27,814 --> 01:00:30,651 Here, let me get you out of this stinking cage. 859 01:00:31,552 --> 01:00:34,554 Oh, please forgive me. Can I get you guys some beers? 860 01:00:34,788 --> 01:00:36,457 I'd like a near beer, please. 861 01:00:36,657 --> 01:00:37,625 Shut up! 862 01:00:37,859 --> 01:00:40,328 We just came about the car you bought today. 863 01:00:40,528 --> 01:00:42,363 We wanted to get some stuff out. 864 01:00:42,563 --> 01:00:45,033 No problem. Right this way. 865 01:00:45,233 --> 01:00:49,104 -It was nice meeting you guys. -Good luck with the modeling thing. 866 01:00:49,305 --> 01:00:52,509 You e-mail me, okay? FreakInCage.com. 867 01:00:58,181 --> 01:01:02,186 Sacre bleu, the car was here this afternoon. It-- It-- 868 01:01:02,553 --> 01:01:04,021 It just disappear! 869 01:01:04,355 --> 01:01:08,893 -How do you just lose a car? -I'm so sorry, you guys. 870 01:01:09,127 --> 01:01:12,831 -I feel terrible. -All right, Pierre, just focus here. 871 01:01:13,432 --> 01:01:15,267 Was there anything in the car? 872 01:01:15,901 --> 01:01:17,303 No, nothing. 873 01:01:17,570 --> 01:01:20,940 Except, of course, for this. 874 01:01:23,476 --> 01:01:24,677 Dude! 875 01:01:39,894 --> 01:01:43,098 Dude, I'm having my next birthday party here for sure. 876 01:01:43,299 --> 01:01:44,466 Yeah, me too. 877 01:01:49,139 --> 01:01:50,473 Cool. 878 01:01:51,007 --> 01:01:53,577 Excuse me. Can you tell me where locker 206 is? 879 01:01:53,811 --> 01:01:55,379 Yeah, it's right over there. 880 01:01:55,612 --> 01:01:57,748 It's you guys! Dude, you guys played... 881 01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:00,218 ...an amazing round of putt-putt last night. 882 01:02:01,386 --> 01:02:03,154 -We did? -Oh, yeah. 883 01:02:03,789 --> 01:02:05,757 -Thanks, dude. -Shibby. 884 01:02:06,825 --> 01:02:08,093 Here it is. 885 01:02:08,427 --> 01:02:11,798 -I sure hope my money's in there. -Yep. 886 01:02:11,998 --> 01:02:14,434 -Who are you? -This is my boyfriend, Patty. 887 01:02:14,634 --> 01:02:16,036 Nice to meet you. 888 01:02:16,336 --> 01:02:18,205 How do you keep popping up? 889 01:02:19,206 --> 01:02:22,376 Less questions, more giving me my money. 890 01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:28,149 Well, I guess this is it. 891 01:02:28,449 --> 01:02:30,752 Yep. The moment of truth. 892 01:02:31,119 --> 01:02:35,124 It's been a long, strange trip, dude. 893 01:02:35,357 --> 01:02:37,326 It sure has, Jesse. 894 01:02:38,060 --> 01:02:40,530 Hey! I've got a plane to catch. 895 01:02:40,763 --> 01:02:42,665 Okay, okay, okay. 896 01:02:47,738 --> 01:02:50,241 Oh, my suitcase! 897 01:02:54,712 --> 01:02:57,349 Oh, my God! You guys are the best. 898 01:02:57,815 --> 01:02:59,684 Thank you so much. 899 01:03:05,057 --> 01:03:08,795 Thanks for your help, fella. Good work. 900 01:03:11,898 --> 01:03:14,968 Are we supposed to be grossed out by this, or...? 901 01:03:15,202 --> 01:03:16,904 I don't know. 902 01:03:17,605 --> 01:03:19,073 Bye. 903 01:03:21,041 --> 01:03:22,944 Look at this stuff. 904 01:03:23,745 --> 01:03:25,847 Captain Stu tickets. 905 01:03:26,314 --> 01:03:27,949 Awesome! 906 01:03:28,584 --> 01:03:31,053 Oh, jellybeans. 907 01:03:33,522 --> 01:03:35,257 No jellybeans. 908 01:03:36,525 --> 01:03:38,027 Cool straw. 909 01:03:38,895 --> 01:03:40,931 -I'm gonna keep this. -Yeah. 910 01:03:54,279 --> 01:03:56,281 I don't see a continuum transfunctioner. 911 01:03:56,514 --> 01:04:00,286 Wait a second. What do we know about the continuum transfunctioner? 912 01:04:00,486 --> 01:04:02,955 It's a very mysterious and powerful device. 913 01:04:03,155 --> 01:04:04,123 And? 914 01:04:04,357 --> 01:04:07,327 And its mystery is only exceeded by its power. 915 01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,097 But has anyone ever said what it looks like? 916 01:04:11,999 --> 01:04:13,067 No. 917 01:04:13,334 --> 01:04:14,635 They haven't. 918 01:04:25,915 --> 01:04:27,983 That was Jesse and Chester. 919 01:04:28,484 --> 01:04:31,521 They've got the continuum transfunctioner! 920 01:04:33,323 --> 01:04:35,058 Quick! To my mother's minivan! 921 01:04:40,431 --> 01:04:42,033 That was Jesse and Chester. 922 01:04:42,266 --> 01:04:44,669 They've got the continuum transfunctioner. 923 01:04:46,604 --> 01:04:48,907 Quick! To my step dad's pickup truck! 924 01:04:51,443 --> 01:04:53,845 I'm getting the hang of this thing, dude. 925 01:04:56,782 --> 01:04:58,151 Yes! 926 01:04:59,919 --> 01:05:03,323 Oh, yes! I finally beat you! 927 01:05:04,057 --> 01:05:06,026 You. You're a competitor. 928 01:05:06,994 --> 01:05:10,464 Oh, boy. You got me the first nine, but not number 10. 929 01:05:11,299 --> 01:05:12,299 Not gonna happen. 930 01:05:13,768 --> 01:05:15,403 -Final showdown time. -Chester. 931 01:05:15,637 --> 01:05:17,105 -Jesse. -Don't worry, girls. 932 01:05:17,572 --> 01:05:19,541 We're here to save the day. 933 01:05:20,008 --> 01:05:23,178 Quit it. These things are expensive. 934 01:05:24,079 --> 01:05:28,117 Enough! Do you have the continuum transfunctioner or not? 935 01:05:29,152 --> 01:05:30,554 Right here. 936 01:05:31,387 --> 01:05:34,558 -Now release the girls. -First give up the transfunctioner. 937 01:05:34,792 --> 01:05:38,696 -First release the girls. -First give us the transfunctioner. 938 01:05:38,896 --> 01:05:40,264 Same time. 939 01:05:42,767 --> 01:05:43,902 Yes! 940 01:05:48,573 --> 01:05:49,842 There they are. 941 01:05:50,342 --> 01:05:53,612 Okay, stoners, where's the continuum transfunctioner? 942 01:06:04,358 --> 01:06:05,960 Release dodo bird. 943 01:06:09,798 --> 01:06:11,599 -Tommy, you're such a jerk. -Yeah. 944 01:06:11,900 --> 01:06:15,304 -That's our continuum transfunctioner. -Well, now it's mine. 945 01:06:16,705 --> 01:06:17,973 Nerd. 946 01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:25,515 -Dude, let's get out of here. -Yeah. 947 01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:29,720 Where is the continuum transfunctioner? 948 01:06:29,954 --> 01:06:31,188 We don't have it. 949 01:06:31,388 --> 01:06:35,259 But we'd like you to meet our girlfriends, Wanda and Wilma. 950 01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:36,661 We've already met. 951 01:06:36,895 --> 01:06:40,599 -Stay away from our boyfriends. -You fake-breasted sluts. 952 01:06:42,367 --> 01:06:44,670 Okay, let's go this way. 953 01:06:46,639 --> 01:06:49,643 Halt. Where is the continuum transfunctioner? 954 01:06:49,876 --> 01:06:52,212 You want to go talk to that guy over there. 955 01:06:52,579 --> 01:06:54,113 Let the pleasure begin. 956 01:06:54,347 --> 01:06:56,550 That's not the continuum transfunctioner. 957 01:06:57,084 --> 01:06:58,152 Of course, it is. 958 01:07:01,822 --> 01:07:03,791 Follow the kids. Come on, follow them. 959 01:07:03,991 --> 01:07:05,927 Go, go, go. 960 01:07:19,809 --> 01:07:21,945 Nerd-bashing time. 961 01:07:22,412 --> 01:07:23,714 It's not our fault. 962 01:07:23,914 --> 01:07:24,982 It was them. 963 01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:28,252 Looking for a Smokey McPot. 964 01:07:28,452 --> 01:07:31,689 I have a delivery for a Smokey McPot. 965 01:07:31,889 --> 01:07:34,426 -You ordered pizza? -I figured we'd get hungry. 966 01:07:34,659 --> 01:07:36,895 Oh, no, it's you two! 967 01:07:37,563 --> 01:07:38,797 Look, I almost got it. 968 01:07:38,997 --> 01:07:42,902 You're really starting to irk me with your Rubik's Cube fixation! 969 01:07:43,102 --> 01:07:44,571 Sweet! 970 01:07:57,184 --> 01:07:59,053 No wonder they're so impossible. 971 01:07:59,353 --> 01:08:02,023 You've activated the continuum transfunctioner. 972 01:08:02,223 --> 01:08:03,458 What's going on? 973 01:08:03,659 --> 01:08:06,561 Once all five of the dirugian crystals stop flashing... 974 01:08:06,795 --> 01:08:08,698 ...the universe will be destroyed. 975 01:08:08,898 --> 01:08:10,132 How do you know? 976 01:08:10,332 --> 01:08:12,735 We intercepted interstellar transmissions. 977 01:08:12,936 --> 01:08:14,971 -Zoltan. -Nerds. 978 01:08:15,405 --> 01:08:16,607 Way to go, Chester. 979 01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:18,241 Sorry. 980 01:08:18,542 --> 01:08:20,678 You must give it to us to deactivate it. 981 01:08:20,911 --> 01:08:23,247 We are the keepers of the transfunctioner. 982 01:08:23,448 --> 01:08:25,683 They will use it to destroy the universe. 983 01:08:25,884 --> 01:08:29,287 No, we are the keepers of the continuum transfunctioner. 984 01:08:29,487 --> 01:08:32,591 -They want to destroy the universe. -Stop copying us. 985 01:08:32,825 --> 01:08:34,860 -Stop copying us. -Stop copying us. 986 01:08:35,127 --> 01:08:36,896 -Stop copying us. -Bitch. 987 01:08:37,496 --> 01:08:40,934 Don't you guys remember? We came to this planet last night... 988 01:08:41,167 --> 01:08:43,870 ...to escape the clutches of those evil space sluts. 989 01:08:44,071 --> 01:08:47,407 -We met you here. -You gave us a ride to our spaceship. 990 01:08:47,608 --> 01:08:50,778 And we realized we'd lost the continuum transfunctioner. 991 01:08:51,713 --> 01:08:54,315 Hurry, there's only three blinking lights left. 992 01:08:54,949 --> 01:08:55,917 Bye-bye, universe. 993 01:08:56,151 --> 01:08:59,321 He's right, dude. We're gonna make the wrong decision. 994 01:08:59,822 --> 01:09:03,459 You know what, dude? I refuse to let us go down in history... 995 01:09:03,692 --> 01:09:05,961 ...as the dudes who destroyed the universe. 996 01:09:06,162 --> 01:09:09,666 How do we find out which ones are the true keepers? 997 01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:12,870 It's simple. We ask them a question about last night... 998 01:09:13,070 --> 01:09:16,240 ...that only the ones that are telling the truth would know. 999 01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:18,409 But we can't remember a thing. 1000 01:09:20,211 --> 01:09:21,979 -You gotta hurry. -Not now, Jeff. 1001 01:09:22,247 --> 01:09:23,281 Zip it. 1002 01:09:26,218 --> 01:09:29,288 If we really did give one of you guys a ride last night... 1003 01:09:29,521 --> 01:09:31,490 ...then you'll know the answer to this. 1004 01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:35,528 Hurry! 1005 01:09:36,763 --> 01:09:39,800 What score did we get on the 18th hole... 1006 01:09:40,034 --> 01:09:42,403 ...of the miniature golf course last night? 1007 01:09:49,411 --> 01:09:50,678 You got a hole in one. 1008 01:09:50,912 --> 01:09:53,148 That is... 1009 01:09:57,119 --> 01:09:58,087 ...correct! 1010 01:10:08,299 --> 01:10:10,768 Deactivation complete. 1011 01:10:19,644 --> 01:10:23,048 Wait. If you guys don't remember a thing about last night.... 1012 01:10:23,248 --> 01:10:26,185 -How do you know they told the truth? -It's simple. 1013 01:10:26,852 --> 01:10:27,820 The pudding! 1014 01:10:31,090 --> 01:10:33,393 -You guys had a plan! -And it actually worked. 1015 01:10:38,398 --> 01:10:39,566 For the love of God! 1016 01:10:42,737 --> 01:10:45,106 Wow! Morphing is cool! 1017 01:10:52,814 --> 01:10:56,686 Whoa! That is one super hot giant alien! 1018 01:11:01,692 --> 01:11:02,826 Just go! 1019 01:11:03,060 --> 01:11:04,695 -Chester! -Jesse! 1020 01:11:09,801 --> 01:11:11,236 That is amazing! 1021 01:11:11,436 --> 01:11:15,307 Yeah. Those are the biggest hoo-hoos I have ever seen. 1022 01:11:17,876 --> 01:11:19,411 Do you spit or swallow? 1023 01:11:19,645 --> 01:11:20,746 Swallow! 1024 01:11:25,818 --> 01:11:29,523 We will now use the power of the continuum transfunctioner... 1025 01:11:29,723 --> 01:11:31,826 ...to banish you to Hoboken, New Jersey. 1026 01:11:37,398 --> 01:11:40,869 -What are we supposed to do now? -I think we run, dude! 1027 01:11:51,848 --> 01:11:53,683 Boy, those guys are in a hurry. 1028 01:12:03,061 --> 01:12:07,198 -I want to go on that ride, Daddy. -Me too, son. Me too. 1029 01:12:22,882 --> 01:12:25,719 -What do we do with this? -You've gotta activate... 1030 01:12:25,919 --> 01:12:28,255 ...the photon accelerator annihilation beam! 1031 01:12:28,456 --> 01:12:32,293 -The what? -They said, "the photon accelerator... 1032 01:12:32,493 --> 01:12:35,830 ...annihilation beam," you fool! 1033 01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:37,733 Hurry, activate it, dude! 1034 01:12:42,571 --> 01:12:44,640 -This is it! -Thanks, Captain Obvious! 1035 01:12:46,776 --> 01:12:47,744 I can't reach it! 1036 01:12:47,977 --> 01:12:50,414 Deep in your consciousness, you must look! 1037 01:12:50,981 --> 01:12:53,851 Concentrate on the knowledge inside, you must! 1038 01:12:54,518 --> 01:12:56,554 Does he have to talk like that? 1039 01:12:56,821 --> 01:12:58,289 I like the way he talks. 1040 01:13:04,830 --> 01:13:07,399 Chimpanzees often use sticks as crude tools. 1041 01:13:07,700 --> 01:13:09,134 I've got it! 1042 01:13:15,741 --> 01:13:17,243 Oh, boy! 1043 01:13:22,516 --> 01:13:23,951 We saved the universe! 1044 01:13:24,151 --> 01:13:25,753 The big bitch is dead! 1045 01:13:40,269 --> 01:13:44,274 Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties. 1046 01:13:45,041 --> 01:13:49,480 -Honey, could you give me a hand? -No, Tommy. I've found somebody else. 1047 01:13:55,554 --> 01:13:57,122 Jesse and Chester saved us. 1048 01:13:57,355 --> 01:14:00,325 You'll still take us to outer space with you, right? 1049 01:14:00,559 --> 01:14:03,595 There is a party in the Crab Nebula. You can come too. 1050 01:14:04,196 --> 01:14:05,164 Crab Nebula! 1051 01:14:10,837 --> 01:14:13,807 -Here you go. -Thanks for your help. 1052 01:14:14,007 --> 01:14:17,845 -Jesse and Chester. -You've ensured the universe's safety. 1053 01:14:18,045 --> 01:14:19,480 Well, that's cool and all... 1054 01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:21,983 ...but, dude, where's my car? 1055 01:14:22,250 --> 01:14:24,085 You mean you guys don't remember? 1056 01:14:24,285 --> 01:14:27,722 -Damn, you were wasted last night. -Now, we must eliminate... 1057 01:14:27,956 --> 01:14:29,558 ...knowledge of this encounter. 1058 01:14:30,259 --> 01:14:32,328 No. We have so many questions... 1059 01:14:32,561 --> 01:14:34,630 ...we want to ask you about the universe. 1060 01:14:35,064 --> 01:14:37,634 -Like what? -Well.... 1061 01:14:41,772 --> 01:14:43,941 Have you guys ever been to Uranus? 1062 01:14:44,175 --> 01:14:45,643 Nice! 1063 01:15:00,259 --> 01:15:02,762 -Morning, guys. -Morning, Gene. 1064 01:15:05,565 --> 01:15:06,900 We'll go to the twins'. 1065 01:15:07,100 --> 01:15:09,470 -And then? -Then we'll give them their gifts. 1066 01:15:09,670 --> 01:15:11,805 -And then? -We'll apologize for the house. 1067 01:15:12,039 --> 01:15:13,974 -And then? -We get our special treats. 1068 01:15:14,174 --> 01:15:16,211 -And then? -Dude, that's really annoying. 1069 01:15:16,444 --> 01:15:17,611 Sorry. 1070 01:15:17,845 --> 01:15:19,180 Dude, where's my car? 1071 01:15:22,050 --> 01:15:23,185 Dude, where's my car? 1072 01:15:24,052 --> 01:15:25,554 Where's your car, dude? 1073 01:15:29,359 --> 01:15:31,160 Dude, there's your car. 1074 01:15:36,367 --> 01:15:38,335 "I heart you." 1075 01:15:38,936 --> 01:15:41,739 You guys are great boyfriends. 1076 01:15:43,207 --> 01:15:46,878 -And we have something for you too. -A very special treat. 1077 01:15:47,679 --> 01:15:49,247 Shibby! 1078 01:15:50,582 --> 01:15:51,550 Ta-da! 1079 01:15:52,050 --> 01:15:54,320 We sewed the names on ourselves. 1080 01:15:54,887 --> 01:15:56,355 Wow. 1081 01:15:57,190 --> 01:15:58,157 Put them on. 1082 01:16:04,965 --> 01:16:06,433 You guys look great. 1083 01:16:09,837 --> 01:16:11,405 In berets? 1084 01:16:12,206 --> 01:16:13,308 What are these? 1085 01:16:14,109 --> 01:16:16,011 More gifts. 1086 01:16:18,146 --> 01:16:20,750 -They're beautiful. -Where did you guys get these? 1087 01:16:21,417 --> 01:16:22,384 This... 1088 01:16:22,618 --> 01:16:24,053 ...place. 1089 01:16:24,988 --> 01:16:26,489 -Wow. -Me first. 1090 01:16:27,757 --> 01:16:29,859 "Thanks for helping to save the universe. 1091 01:16:30,093 --> 01:16:32,596 Hope your girls like these gifts. You will. " 1092 01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:35,699 How wasted were we last night? 1093 01:16:41,306 --> 01:16:43,842 -Sweet! -Dude! 1094 01:16:57,958 --> 01:16:59,526 -Is anyone hungry? -Yeah. 1095 01:16:59,894 --> 01:17:02,363 -I could go for Chinese food. -Sounds great. 1096 01:17:02,563 --> 01:17:03,531 Sweet! 1097 01:17:09,437 --> 01:17:12,073 -My back itches, dude. -Jesse, you got a tattoo. 1098 01:17:12,307 --> 01:17:13,976 Oh, my God. So do you, Chester. 1099 01:17:14,209 --> 01:17:16,612 -No way. What's mine say? -"Dude." 1100 01:17:16,812 --> 01:17:18,514 -What about mine? -"Sweet." 1101 01:17:18,714 --> 01:17:20,817 -Yeah, but what does mine say? -"Dude"! 1102 01:17:21,050 --> 01:17:22,619 -What about mine? -"Sweet." 1103 01:17:22,852 --> 01:17:25,622 I know, they're sweet, but, dude, what's mine say? 1104 01:17:25,822 --> 01:17:26,790 "Dude"! 1105 01:17:27,024 --> 01:17:29,026 -What about mine? -"Sweet"! 1106 01:17:42,441 --> 01:17:44,076 I can do sexy. 1107 01:17:45,344 --> 01:17:47,413 How do you keep popping up like this? 1108 01:17:50,283 --> 01:17:52,919 Come on, this isn't fair. They're mooning us. 1109 01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:54,555 Sweet, dude. 1110 01:17:54,755 --> 01:17:55,923 It's good, right? 1111 01:18:00,027 --> 01:18:01,128 -Sweet! -Dude! 1112 01:18:01,362 --> 01:18:04,032 -I am fun-loving. I like charades. -Shut up! 1113 01:18:04,433 --> 01:18:05,867 Go ahead and laugh. 1114 01:18:08,904 --> 01:18:10,405 Hold on a second. 1115 01:18:25,055 --> 01:18:26,057 Zoltan! 1116 01:18:37,903 --> 01:18:38,738 That's a keeper. 1117 01:18:39,105 --> 01:18:40,106 Fingers crossed. 1118 01:18:43,008 --> 01:18:44,177 I got it! 1119 01:18:44,844 --> 01:18:46,479 You want a piece of this? 1120 01:18:48,648 --> 01:18:50,350 -Dude! -Sweet! 1121 01:18:50,651 --> 01:18:53,521 -And then? -And then we went and-- 1122 01:18:53,787 --> 01:18:56,891 -And then? -Got those sweet jumpsuits so we-- 1123 01:18:57,125 --> 01:19:00,061 -And then? -Then we went and-- I'm losing it. 1124 01:19:00,328 --> 01:19:02,597 I am fun-loving, without my clothes. 1125 01:19:02,798 --> 01:19:06,803 The platonic-- The gray thing, dummy! 1126 01:19:07,103 --> 01:19:08,471 -Dude! -Sweet! 1127 01:19:14,844 --> 01:19:17,347 Can we cut? 1128 01:19:17,648 --> 01:19:19,250 We gotta cut. We have to. 1129 01:19:19,750 --> 01:19:20,851 You have to cut. 1130 01:19:21,085 --> 01:19:22,386 You guys have to cut. 1131 01:19:23,054 --> 01:19:24,121 Cut! 1132 01:19:26,091 --> 01:19:27,359 Punk-ass kids! 1133 01:23:02,300 --> 01:23:03,635 And then?