1
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:05,680
Look at him.

2
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,380
He knows he's not supposed to be on the
Internet when we're not at home.

3
00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:10,260
What do you think he's looking at?

4
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,459
I don't know.

5
00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:15,280
He's a boy. He's 14. He's alone. I'm
sure he's checking his stocks.

6
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:16,679
What?

7
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,740
What do you think he's looking at,
Angie? That's a magic box full of naked

8
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:20,740
women.

9
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,380
Well, we'll never see.

10
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,320
He's so fast, the second we go in there,
he's going to sign off.

11
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:27,540
Not this time.

12
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,560
What does it say?

13
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,860
It's not a website. He's talking online
to somebody named The Girl.

14
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,460
Relax. That's Zoe.

15
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,400
She's 13. She lives in Chicago.

16
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:42,920
I met her in a chat room.

17
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:44,300
Max, this is the Internet.

18
00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:47,520
For all you know, you could be talking
to some old dude who stands at the

19
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,560
all day wearing boxers and eating
cereal.

20
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:53,380
Mr. Baskin? The carpet street?

21
00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:58,660
Yes. He watched me mow the lawn
yesterday. It was hot, but I put my

22
00:00:58,660 --> 00:01:00,540
on because no one gets this show for
free.

23
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,590
What's with all... the noise. You just
woke me up.

24
00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:09,710
You left Max alone. He was talking to
some stranger on the internet.

25
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:12,610
We pay to watch our kids not get drunk
and pass out on the couch.

26
00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,870
Hey, I'm one for two.

27
00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:17,109
Carmen's okay.

28
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,110
Is she still here?

29
00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:23,650
Don't worry, okay? The way she was
dressed, she will get a ride home.

30
00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:30,310
Can I please get back on the internet? I
can show you Zoe's girl. She sent me

31
00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:31,310
her picture.

32
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,220
That picture could be fake.

33
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:37,900
Ernie uses Antonio Banderas' picture to
pick up women online.

34
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:42,240
Then when he meets them, he tells them
he gained weight for Zorro the later

35
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,240
years.

36
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,320
Dad, you're wrong.

37
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,380
Zoe's a girl, and she gets me. She LOLs
at all of my jokes.

38
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,780
I'm going to show you the type of person
you're really talking to.

39
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:52,980
What are you doing?

40
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,980
Pretending to be you. What's your screen
name?

41
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,940
Ripped to the max.

42
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,020
There's only one thing you rip.

43
00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:13,140
Dude, I think the twins are switching on
it.

44
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,980
Why would they do that? They're testing
us.

45
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,180
They want to make sure that we know
they're different, that they each have

46
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,380
unique personalities.

47
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,840
Here, you take this, and you put a mark
on one of them so we can tell the

48
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:28,840
difference.

49
00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,750
You want me to brand my date?

50
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,090
What are you wearing?

51
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,550
What are you doing? I'm chatting with
someone.

52
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:47,310
Yeah. Someone who wants to know what
you're wearing? Who asked that?

53
00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:48,770
I asked that.

54
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,130
You see?

55
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,170
Creepy.

56
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,630
That doesn't sound like Mac.

57
00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,170
Who's Mac?

58
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,880
He's 14. He's my friend who lives in
California.

59
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,160
I met him online.

60
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:07,080
Are you out of your mind? You have no
idea what kind of perverts hang out in

61
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,079
these chat rooms.

62
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,620
People lie about themselves all the
time, Zoe.

63
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,500
And not just on the Internet.

64
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:19,220
I know a guy who pretended to be
homeless so he could meet this hot girl

65
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,260
worked at a soup kitchen.

66
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:27,360
I totally had her until I invited her
back to my penthouse.

67
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:32,200
Let's see how old Max really is.

68
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,220
Uncle Pretty. I'm going to beat you.

69
00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:43,260
Are you sure you're 14?

70
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:48,660
Because you sound way more mature than
any 14 -year -old I know.

71
00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:51,840
You know he can't hear you. I'm in
character.

72
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:03,050
I am mature for my age. I do lots of
adult things.

73
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:05,610
Adult things?

74
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,890
Oh, come on. This is no 14 -year -old.

75
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:10,910
Yeah, I'm with you.

76
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:18,029
People only make age a big deal because
they're trying to stop you from doing

77
00:04:18,029 --> 00:04:19,769
stuff that's fun.

78
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:24,870
There it is. You see that, Max? Anything
fun is sexual.

79
00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:26,810
True that.

80
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,680
that doesn't sound like zoe because i
tricked zoe into revealing his true

81
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:39,760
identity now i'ma draw him out i like to
do fun things too like skateboarding

82
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:44,840
video games oh tickle parties okay

83
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:52,680
let's

84
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:58,280
see if he'll give up where he lives if
you tell me the address

85
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:05,650
Of this pickle party, I'll tell you
where my pickle spot is.

86
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:11,610
Pickle spot? That's not a girl. They
never tell you where it is. They try to

87
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:14,250
make you find it. And when you can't,
they make you feel bad.

88
00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,910
Give me your address, and I'll give you
mine.

89
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:22,530
Sure.

90
00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:26,130
Just give me yours first.

91
00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:28,770
That's it?

92
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:30,530
He knows I'm on to him and he won't
break.

93
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,770
I knew it. I spooked him away.

94
00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:41,030
I bet with this guy's email address I
can find out where he lives. I'm going

95
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:42,190
call the cops on your ass.

96
00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:54,750
All my friends know the low rider.

97
00:05:57,130 --> 00:06:01,490
The low rider. Brother, get a little
higher.

98
00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:15,910
Officer, I don't think you're taking me
seriously.

99
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,850
Is she talking to a police?

100
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,490
Yeah, we think a guy's stalking Max on
the Internet.

101
00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:23,390
Bloody Omeo, that's horrible.

102
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:28,110
I did think Cuba there was no internet
with strangers trying to lure you away.

103
00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:32,050
If an old man put his hand in your
pants, he was looking for food.

104
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:36,310
Why were you walking around with food in
your pants? Why didn't you just use a

105
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:37,310
paper bag?

106
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,790
And leave my dad without a briefcase?

107
00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,070
I don't think so.

108
00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:48,350
Max, get down here!

109
00:06:50,470 --> 00:06:53,430
I understand you're swamped, detective,
but...

110
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,240
1 ,500 cases?

111
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:56,980
No wonder you're so behind.

112
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,020
Give me the phone. You're being too
nice.

113
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:02,620
My son is being stalked on the Internet.

114
00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:07,060
No, I can't prove the guy's an adult.
That's your job. Get off your lazy butt

115
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,060
and do it.

116
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,740
Hey, don't threaten me with unpaid
tickets.

117
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:14,560
There are a lot of George Lopez's in L
.A. Just try to find me.

118
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:19,320
Yeah, that's my address, but what room
am I calling you from?

119
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,220
Cops aren't going to help us. We're on
our own.

120
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:31,940
Okay, put a filter on the computer so
now you can use it again.

121
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:33,420
Finally.

122
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:37,260
You know, if I get an F on my history
report, it's because you wouldn't let me

123
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,340
do research on the Internet.

124
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,140
You could have gone to the library and
opened up a book.

125
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:43,640
Why is everything a joke to you?

126
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:49,520
Okay, but from now on, you can't IM
anyone or go into any chat room without

127
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,100
approval, and only I know the secret
password.

128
00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:54,100
Is it WAPA?

129
00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,280
Not anymore.

130
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,780
This isn't fair.

131
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:08,280
Why can't you guys trust me? Max, honey,
you're only 14. You're still a little

132
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,080
naive. No, I'm not.

133
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,840
Max, I get you every time with that fake
stain thing.

134
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,860
I would do it right now if you didn't
already have a big one right there.

135
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,640
Well, at least I'm not the guy who has
magic underwear to help the Raiders win.

136
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,120
Hey, I know my underwear don't have any
magic power.

137
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,840
Not since someone bleached the magic
right out of them.

138
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,299
Spring freshness. I love that spring
freshness.

139
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,880
Mom and Dad won't let me use the
Internet.

140
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,419
They think I'm talking to some old perv.

141
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:43,220
Well, that's bad.

142
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,160
There's a desperate old perv out there
who can't get anyone but you.

143
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,150
It's a girl.

144
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:53,110
Hey, can I use your cell phone to email
her?

145
00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:58,590
Um, normally I'd say no, but there's a
chance you could be wrong and get

146
00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:00,050
abducted. So here.

147
00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:17,010
Sorry about that. My parents kicked me
off the computer.

148
00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:22,510
That's okay.

149
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:26,890
My uncle has a business trip to LA and
I'm gonna ask if I can go with him. We

150
00:09:26,890 --> 00:09:27,890
can actually meet.

151
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,430
That would be cool.

152
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:34,690
Dad!

153
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:39,350
What are you thinking?

154
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,150
I told you not to talk to this guy
anymore. Max, you're grounded.

155
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,790
Dad, stop freaking out. It's a girl.

156
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,070
This is how people my age hook up.

157
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:50,530
It's not like when you and Mom were
dating, you just went down to the disco

158
00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:51,530
did the toot.

159
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:57,770
Let's make one thing clear. Your mother
and I never did drugs, and we never,

160
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:02,190
ever set foot in a disco. This is a
metal family.

161
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,770
That's why your name is Max, the loudest
setting on an amplifier.

162
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:07,970
You were almost reverb Lopez.

163
00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:11,310
Dad, I'm gonna talk to Zoe.

164
00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:15,150
I'll at least use one of my friend's
phones at school if I have to. You can't

165
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:16,150
stop me.

166
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,510
There was fear about that.

167
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:23,510
Well, you raised your voice and you gave
him a vague threat.

168
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:28,150
You did everything they told you to do
in weak parenting magazines.

169
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,990
No, please, please, don't give me that
disappointed look.

170
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,550
It affects my self -esteem.

171
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:42,010
I think seeing you climbing out of a
trucker's cab at dawn with your clothes

172
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,150
backwards would take care of that.

173
00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:48,070
Oh, man, the guy after Max is coming to
L .A.

174
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:50,430
All right, fool, come out here.

175
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:53,250
I'll set a trap and take care of you
once and for all.

176
00:10:53,950 --> 00:10:57,990
Zoe, I said I don't want you talking to
this guy. He's not what you think.

177
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,790
You'll see when we meet him in L .A.

178
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,130
We?

179
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:04,390
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. You're not
going anywhere. This is a business

180
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:06,730
trip. Then why are you taking Chris with
you?

181
00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:09,250
Because he's my business partner.

182
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:12,190
And I can get him into the Playboy
Mansion.

183
00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:16,870
Dude, you record that?

184
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:21,390
Come on, man. You know how smooth I am.
I just called them up. I was like, yo,

185
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,870
Chris and Freddy are rolling into town.

186
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:25,810
How much?

187
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,510
It's five grand apiece, and we're gay
designers from Germany.

188
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,490
But not so gay we can't be turned.

189
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:48,130
I can't wait to meet you in L .A. I even
know a place where we can be alone.

190
00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:50,230
This guy doesn't give up.

191
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,310
All right, dirtbag.

192
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:57,810
Sounds great. I'll email you when I get
there.

193
00:11:58,410 --> 00:12:01,210
When this guy gets to Ernie's apartment,
Mom, I'm going to beat the crap out of

194
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,210
him.

195
00:12:02,270 --> 00:12:03,590
Yeah, want me there for backup?

196
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:08,610
You know, Mom, I would, but at Ernie's
apartment, they don't allow pets.

197
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,470
I think I can handle this myself.

198
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:13,870
Are you kidding me?

199
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,920
on, George. You got your lunch money
stolen by that little girl next door who

200
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:19,940
had a hole in her heart.

201
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,700
Hey, when you got nothing to lose, you
fight that way.

202
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,000
I thought her oxygen tank would slow her
down, but she wrapped that hose around

203
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,140
my neck and I was all like that.

204
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,340
Hey,

205
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:42,340
have

206
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,180
you heard from the predator? Is he in LA
yet?

207
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,500
No, man, keep it down. I didn't tell
Angie because I don't want her to worry.

208
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,780
Yeah. Hey, it's scary with all those
creeps on the Internet.

209
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:54,340
Things were a lot simpler when we were
kids. You knew who the bad guys were?

210
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,840
They'd show up in a van and ask you to
help them find their puppy, you know?

211
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,800
That happen to you?

212
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,040
No, I was too fat.

213
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,820
Yeah, the van slowed down and looked at
me, but then kept right on going.

214
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,920
I tried to jump in one time, but the
vato locked the door from the inside.

215
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,340
He's here.

216
00:13:14,599 --> 00:13:16,080
Can't wait to meet you.

217
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:22,120
I'm at 6739 Magnolia, apartment 2B.

218
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,880
My parents are out of town.

219
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,500
Hey, wait a minute. That's my apartment.

220
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,820
What are the neighbors going to think
when some creepy, weird dude shows up?

221
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,160
I don't know. What did they think when
you moved in?

222
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,540
Where are you guys going?

223
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,020
We're going to pick up an overtime shift
at the...

224
00:13:43,709 --> 00:13:44,709
Factory.

225
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:48,710
George, what's going on? Where are you
really going?

226
00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:50,010
Out, okay?

227
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,090
Out.

228
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,370
Ernie, where are you going?

229
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:58,330
If you lie to me, I will be very, very
sad.

230
00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:02,430
We're going to go beat up Max's online
pervert.

231
00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:07,730
Dude, I can't lie to her. I don't know
how you do it all the time.

232
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:11,370
Baby, I only lie.

233
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,500
To protect you.

234
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,020
Don't give me that crap.

235
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,640
You're just afraid to tell me the truth
because you don't think I can handle it.

236
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,220
Okay. Want to know how to tell the
truth? Here's this.

237
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,920
You know why we got the house so cheap?
Because a horrible crime was committed

238
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,100
here. Here's a hint.

239
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,660
There may be something to that
frightened old lady who runs through

240
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,440
Oh, no.

241
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:35,320
Well, now I want to move.

242
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,200
Are you kidding? We'll never sell this
house. That was a bloodbath here.

243
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,320
Believe me, Lord Max, it's stalker here.

244
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,020
I'm going to call the police. They will
handle this. You already tried that. The

245
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,660
cops aren't going to do anything until
it's too late. I'm going to solve this

246
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:50,900
the Lopez way.

247
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:54,920
When are you going to admit there's no
Lopez way?

248
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,140
That's just what you say right before
you do something stupid or wrong.

249
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:01,300
You got a better idea?

250
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,240
No, but I think we should talk about
this.

251
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:05,820
Yeah, what's that, the Angie way?

252
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,580
Talk, talk, talk until you come up with
a reasonable solution.

253
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,560
Well, we're not going to do that this
time.

254
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,570
You are not going to walk out that door.

255
00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:15,930
Yes, I am.

256
00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:19,090
Ernie and I are going to make sure that
this guy never messes with any kids

257
00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:23,050
anymore. You don't know what you're
getting into. What if this guy stands

258
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:24,029
ground and fights?

259
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:25,030
We're prepared.

260
00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:26,470
Right, Ernie? Yeah, that's right.

261
00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:27,770
Watch out. Cup check.

262
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,209
Cup check.

263
00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:30,210
Oh!

264
00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:36,470
Hey, man, you don't say cup check unless
you're wearing one.

265
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,700
me and look like my tough friend. Oh,
all right.

266
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:08,600
You know what, man? Just watch TV.

267
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:09,820
Oh, okay.

268
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,520
Hey, if that's him, don't say anything.
Just buzz him in. Yeah, it's either him

269
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,600
or the pizza I ordered.

270
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,720
Ernie! Well, I didn't know how long this
was gonna go.

271
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,900
Dude, can't you go an hour without
cheese?

272
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,359
This is it.

273
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,540
I'm gonna knock on the door. When the
guy opens it, we grab him. I gotta be

274
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,800
honest. I'm as committed to this as you
are, but it's very important to me that

275
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,760
nothing above the neck or below the
waist is in any danger.

276
00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:53,780
We've got the element of surprise. This
guy's expecting a 13 -year -old girl,

277
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:57,200
and I've seen you fight. You're at least
a 15 -year -old girl.

278
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:03,670
15 -year -old girl whose Pilates
instructor says he has the strongest

279
00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:04,670
the class.

280
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:08,589
Is

281
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:17,190
that

282
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:18,190
you, Zoe?

283
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:19,829
Open voice.

284
00:17:20,829 --> 00:17:22,730
It's me, Max.

285
00:17:25,050 --> 00:17:27,210
Can you believe this guy? Who does he
think he's kidding?

286
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,920
Face most of the time anyway.

287
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,880
Give it up, Pearl. You're the one after
my son. Yeah, right, your son. I know

288
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,900
you really, Max. Whatever you say, Zoe.

289
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,459
Zoe's my niece.

290
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:30,439
Yeah, prove it.

291
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,980
I got a picture of her in my wallet. I
got a reach in my pocket to get it

292
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,000
you want to do it. You'd like that,
wouldn't you?

293
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,059
You see?

294
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,940
That's me, Zoe, and her mom on her
birthday.

295
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,280
I made that cake.

296
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,680
Actually... It was a chocolate raspberry
torte with a rose petal sorbet.

297
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,160
Now I'm really afraid of you.

298
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,420
Oh, man, that's the girl in the picture
Max showed me.

299
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:57,500
Let's see some pictures of your kid.

300
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,720
All right.

301
00:18:58,860 --> 00:18:59,860
Family barbecue.

302
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:03,420
That's my son Max, my daughter Carmen,
and that's my wife Angie. Hello.

303
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,400
Oh, man, she's pretty.

304
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,260
Is that a garden gnome with a cigarette
in its mouth?

305
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:11,820
No, man, that's my mom.

306
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,670
Guess the kids really were talking to
each other online.

307
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,170
I guess this was all a mistake.

308
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,170
Hey, you dodged a bullet today, Holmes.

309
00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:24,090
Yeah, sure.

310
00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:26,970
So, what does rent -to -own mean?

311
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:34,050
So, uh, no hard feelings?

312
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:36,950
Oh, cool.

313
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:40,530
Hey, why don't we grab a couple of
beers, man, and just forget all about

314
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:41,930
Yeah, sounds good.

315
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:43,110
Yeah, I mean...

316
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,870
You know, I just need a minute to take
out my cup.

317
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:47,310
Oh, me too. Yeah, me too.

318
00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:57,890
Good news.

319
00:19:58,290 --> 00:19:59,430
Zoe really is a girl.

320
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:02,390
I met her uncle, and he invited us to
Chicago so you two could meet.

321
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,330
No way. That's so cool.

322
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:08,830
Wait. Isn't this where you say you were
wrong?

323
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:12,350
In fact, I was looking out for you, and
I'd do it again because I'll get you

324
00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:13,390
still a naive boy.

325
00:20:13,919 --> 00:20:14,919
I'm 14.

326
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,440
I'm almost a man. I can take care of
myself.

327
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,420
Everyone knows you're not a man until
your hand is bigger than your face.

328
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,320
Spill soda on yourself?

329
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,500
Hello.