1
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:19,840
Yura, you warhorse.

2
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,200
I can't believe

3
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,160
that some rookie politics teacher
outwitted you.

4
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:28,760
Have him return my two favorite words,

5
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,960
Security Service!

6
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,240
Look here, who will he rally?

7
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,760
What, Maidan? With what money?

8
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,440
Look at those hungry eyes.

9
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,600
They're like a piranha's.

10
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,760
Don't put your finger into that mouth.
He'll bite your arm off at the elbow.

11
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,160
Gentlemen,
Holoborodko has ushered in scum.

12
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,160
Scum have nothing.

13
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,720
That's the scariest part.

14
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,560
They're hungry
and will snatch anything they see.

15
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,320
I suggest that
we tackle each problem as it arises.

16
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,000
Our current problem is this.

17
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,560
So we'll send our little watchdog

18
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:05,720
to Toronto.

19
00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:11,440
PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE

20
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:43,520
Good morning.

21
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,280
I'm Sergei Viktorovich, but call me Serge.

22
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,560
If you have any questions or suggestions,

23
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,760
please don't bother to knock,
just come in.

24
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,160
Good morning.

25
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,080
I'm Sergei,
but call me Sergei Viktorovich.

26
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,200
If you have any questions, drop by.

27
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,800
This place is babe heaven.

28
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,040
Thank you, Vasya.

29
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,240
Good Lord, man!

30
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,920
Are you blind or something?

31
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,520
Can't see where you're going?

32
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,200
Yeah, I got overexcited in heaven.

33
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,200
What did you say?

34
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,960
I said, here are your glasses.

35
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,320
Sorry, it was an accident.

36
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,200
Unintentional.

37
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,360
Sergei Viktorovich...

38
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,520
-Hello.
-Hi.

39
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,840
Do I know you?

40
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,520
I'm Oksana, your assistant.

41
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:37,240
A pleasure, Oksana.

42
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,600
The pleasure is mine.

43
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,000
Where are you going?

44
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,400
Grisha, are you crazy?

45
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,640
He's the new minister.

46
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,240
This way, Sergei Viktorovich.

47
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,800
Here's the deal. Today, you have...

48
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,120
Today, you have...

49
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,600
Oh, Lord!

50
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,480
You need to change clothes.

51
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,360
Why?

52
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,680
Today, you meet with Liberia's Cabinet

53
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,320
and give a statement on Uganda.

54
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,640
-On what?
-Uganda.

55
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,680
Where's that? I mean...

56
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,200
What's going on there?

57
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,720
There's a coup.

58
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,000
The press conference starts in one hour.

59
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,840
You're dressed in who knows what!

60
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,600
What do you mean, who knows what?

61
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,880
Here we go.

62
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,880
Nina, hi.

63
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,880
Listen,
I need a classic black suit on the double.

64
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,560
-Thirty minutes? No, seven.
-Good morning.

65
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,160
It's all taken care of.

66
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,440
-As the diplomat Jules Cambon said--
-Who?

67
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,800
-No one. Later. Forget it. Let's go.
-Lead the way.

68
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:35,640
Hi.

69
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,680
Hello, Nina Yegorovna.

70
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:39,960
Greetings, Vasya.

71
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,720
-How are you? You're not worried, are you?
A little bit.

72
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,080
There's no need to worry. Knock them dead.

73
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,160
-I will do.
-There are many to knock dead.

74
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,520
And you're entering hell.

75
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,200
Dear Lord. What's happening?

76
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,880
Give our money back!

77
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,600
They're robbing us!
The government doesn't care!

78
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:08,040
Give our money back!

79
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,240
Excuse me, but what's going on here?

80
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,840
You tell us what's going on!

81
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,360
-Where's the money?
-What money?

82
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,720
What the head of Nikolaevskiy Bank stole,

83
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,160
and then took to Panama.

84
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,840
Sorry, I wasn't aware
that Nikolaevskiy Bank collapsed, but...

85
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,760
I promise to take this
under my personal control.

86
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,120
I'll try to help you.

87
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,120
Give our money back!

88
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:38,840
Good afternoon.

89
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,120
I see it's not customary for you
to stand when a woman enters.

90
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,080
We're not in school anymore.

91
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:47,880
May I ask a question?

92
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,840
Or do I need to raise my hand first?

93
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,240
Don't push it, San Sanych.

94
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,200
She's not just anybody.

95
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,560
Nina Yegorovna
was responsible for security

96
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,840
of the fourth entrance
to a downtown condo.

97
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,000
You're well informed.

98
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,160
Instead of digging into my past,

99
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,560
you'd do better
to deal with current affairs.

100
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,360
Everything's fine with us.

101
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,120
Of course.

102
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,640
For someone who hides
alcohol and cigarette smuggling,

103
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,200
it can't be any other way.

104
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,920
That's right. I know a few things, too.

105
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,000
Well, gentlemen officers,

106
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,880
our discussion will be a long one.

107
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:22,360
Give our money back!

108
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,800
Dear Olya Yurievna,

109
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,120
to start and end this formal function,

110
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,080
I ask you please
to place your, so called, autograph

111
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,360
on the first official document.

112
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,440
-What's this?
-A layout of the 1,000 hryvnia note.

113
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,720
You have to choose
who will be pictured on it,

114
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,600
Lobanovsky or Korolyov.

115
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,960
Both, so to say,
deserve the honor to be honored.

116
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,240
Ladies and gentlemen, pardon me,

117
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,920
but doesn't it bother you
what's going on outside?

118
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,400
Excuse me?

119
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,680
Give our money back!

120
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,040
Indeed. That's much better.

121
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,600
Do you think the problem
can be solved by closing the window?

122
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,480
We could bring in the water cannon,
but then...

123
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,080
the fetid mass will swell.

124
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,120
Wonderful.

125
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,240
In other words, you experienced bankers
and finance experts,

126
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,960
don't see any other options?

127
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,680
Olya Yurievna, we feel sorry for them.

128
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,680
But the most that we can do

129
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,120
is offer our sympathies.

130
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,080
You know, Dmitriy Vasilievich...

131
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:20,960
Yes?

132
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,200
According to law,

133
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,560
the Central Bank guarantees deposits

134
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,600
and, as such, is obliged to return them.

135
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,720
Absolutely.

136
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,720
Based on the same law, Olya Yurievna,

137
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,680
the Central Bank, in the first place,

138
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,920
looks after the hryvnia's well-being.

139
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,320
It's like the stray dog at my summer home.

140
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,760
Out of the kindness of my heart...

141
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,600
I fed it once.

142
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,320
Guess what happened the next day.

143
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,440
A pack of hungry dogs
was standing at my gate.

144
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,320
What's your point?

145
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,080
Olya Yurievna,
if we start returning the deposits,

146
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,560
we'll set a precedent.

147
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,880
And the swindled clients of other banks

148
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,320
will be here in the morning.

149
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,880
-Dmitriy Vasilievich.
-Yes?

150
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,360
I don't think it's proper for you
to compare people with dogs.

151
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,040
We're not only bankers.

152
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,640
We're also surgeons.

153
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,520
Clearly.

154
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:09,680
So...

155
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,600
There's no way out?

156
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000
-There is.
-Enlighten me, then.

157
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,000
Relax and have fun.

158
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,920
Thus, is it Lobanovsky or Korolyov?

159
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,560
Brut or...

160
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,120
demi-sec?

161
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,560
And, so, Uganda...

162
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:35,320
-Beautiful.
-Lackluster.

163
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,600
For the past 29 years,
there's been a conflict in northern Uganda

164
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:42,480
between government forces
and insurgents.

165
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:43,919
Oh! Nice.

166
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,880
It's too loud.

167
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,480
The conflict was contained
with help from the USA

168
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,040
and the armies of Southern Sudan,
DRC and CAR.

169
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,400
What's their best car?

170
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,000
CAR stands for
the Central African Republic.

171
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,120
Museveni heads Uganda.

172
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,480
Yesterday,
the Lord's Resistance Army arrested him.

173
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:01,480
You see!

174
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,600
Even God is against the president.

175
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,200
Sergei Viktorovich,

176
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,840
you need to convey
Ukraine's position on the matter.

177
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,440
Strong and balanced.

178
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:10,320
I like it.

179
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,320
Me too. Keep it.

180
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,520
Right. So what's our position?

181
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,920
That's for you to decide.

182
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,280
Look...

183
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,680
maybe Uganda could wait, after all?

184
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,440
Someone else can give a statement.

185
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,080
Sergei Viktorovich,
this is international policy.

186
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,760
We can't sit idle.

187
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,160
What if I'm undecided?

188
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,160
Right...

189
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,400
So unlike your great-grandfather.

190
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:32,840
What about him?

191
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,480
Nikita Ivanovich Mukhin.

192
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,160
A great diplomat.

193
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,720
He always made the right decisions.

194
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,720
Even in the most dire situations.

195
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,440
Some envoy my great-grandpa was.

196
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,920
He enjoyed booze.

197
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,040
Anyway, a Mukhin surname
doesn't make me a diplomat.

198
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,720
It's a common surname, that's all.

199
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,640
-What's your surname?
-Skovoroda.

200
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:52,760
There you go.

201
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,640
It doesn't mean you descend
from that famous Grigoriy Skovoroda.

202
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,040
Grigoriy Skovoroda
is my paternal ancestor.

203
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:04,440
Yes?

204
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,520
We're handling the matter now.

205
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,640
Sergei Viktorovich!

206
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,080
The press office.

207
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,440
It's time for a statement.

208
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,000
Straight away?

209
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,960
Yes, in ten minutes.

210
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,480
Very well.

211
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,360
One second.

212
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,240
Yeah, sometimes
I just want to say "the hell with it all"

213
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,680
and move to the middle of nowhere.

214
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,480
Where do you usually vacation?

215
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,080
Vasyl Petrovych!

216
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,760
Where do you usually vacation?

217
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,760
-Me?
-Yes.

218
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,280
In Olvia.

219
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,400
-In Olvia?
-Yes.

220
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,000
Olvia... It sounds familiar.

221
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,320
Is it in Spain? Majorca?

222
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,240
No way. Not Spain.

223
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,200
It's in Nikolaev Oblast.

224
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,720
It's an archeological reserve.
A nice place.

225
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,880
Privately owned?

226
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,760
God forbid, of course not.

227
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,880
Sounds exotic.

228
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,760
Not bad.

229
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,760
-Yuriy Ivanovich, I--
-Oh!

230
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,720
-Please. I have lots to do.
-Yes, yes.

231
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,720
Vasyl Petrovych, you know,

232
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,200
I wanted to remark
on your choice of ministers.

233
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,720
-In a good way.
-Truly?

234
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,640
Truly.

235
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:11,440
To take people with a fresh outlook,
with no public service experience...

236
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,920
in a sense, straight off the street.

237
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,400
-But in a good way.
-You're speaking ironically?

238
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,480
Yuriy Ivanovich, nevertheless, let me say

239
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,640
that they may lack experience so far.

240
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,480
-But they're adept.
-Vasya!

241
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,720
-Really?
-I guarantee.

242
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,640
Fire me f**king now!
It's a s**t storm, Vasya!

243
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,440
Vanya, wait a second.

244
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,480
Excuse me.

245
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,680
-I know those words.
-I'll be back!

246
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,000
-In a jiffy.
-It's awful!

247
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,240
-Drink some coffee. One second.
-It's fine.

248
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,800
What's happening?
Fire you? What's happened?

249
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,080
-I went there--
-Tell me, and calm down.

250
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,960
-I went there in the morning.
-You...

251
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,480
There? Where is "there"?

252
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:49,360
-There!
-Where?

253
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:50,480
What do you mean?

254
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,600
Bella Rudolfovna, do we have sedatives?

255
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,200
-Valerian?
-50 grams.

256
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,560
-You went where you had to--
-I was there!

257
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,200
-There, in the ministry?
-Yes!

258
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,720
Why didn't you say that?

259
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,960
-In the ministry.
-Yes!

260
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,600
-What's in the ministry?
-What?

261
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,560
I enter the room,
and they start looking at me like this.

262
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:07,920
Here.

263
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,360
The generals.

264
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,040
-Generals. Seriously?
-Yes!

265
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,920
-Okay, generals. How many?
-Lots.

266
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,200
-In quantity.
-Lots.

267
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,480
Can you say how many?

268
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,800
430.

269
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,280
-How many?
-Sedative?

270
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,720
No, thanks. I don't need it.

271
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,160
Why so many generals?

272
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,400
By comparison, the Pentagon has 40.

273
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,800
The Pentagon has 40.
Look here, downsize!

274
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,200
The generals?

275
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,400
Halve them.

276
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,280
Not enough.

277
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,640
Down to a quarter.

278
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,480
Atta boy. Proceed.

279
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:42,960
Take this.

280
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,640
"If you have a good army,

281
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,720
you will find good allies."

282
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,200
-Machiavelli.
-Correct.

283
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,920
It's as though
he looked into a crystal ball.

284
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,000
Vasyl Petrovych!

285
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:00,480
And you...

286
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,720
You've found yourself a worthy army.

287
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,840
What impresses me is that

288
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,680
any minister can walk
right in to your office,

289
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,160
the president's office,

290
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,800
and resolve any issue.

291
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,320
Yuriy Ivanovich,
the defense minister just had a tough day.

292
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,320
But you must admit, it was the only case.

293
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,440
Fair enough.

294
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:18,920
Vasya!

295
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,280
Holy shit. Listen...

296
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,200
Which moron assigned
those idiots to the board?

297
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,440
Me. Good morning.

298
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,760
Good morning.

299
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,240
Sorry, I didn't see you there.

300
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,280
Don't worry.

301
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,120
-May I have a few words?
-Sure.

302
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:34,920
Excuse me.

303
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,000
Olya, are you okay?

304
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,040
Good heavens. Sorry, I didn't see him.

305
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,120
What happened?

306
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,960
Did you know that a big bank crashed
and thousands are without money?

307
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,440
Is that a reason to burst in?
You couldn't call?

308
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,080
Are you mad? Call you?
For you, this is chicken feed?

309
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,320
This is important to me.

310
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,080
I'm concerned about this.

311
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,720
-You had money in that bank?
-No.

312
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,440
Those who lost their money
are standing outside.

313
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,080
-I need to help them.
-Relax.

314
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,600
Will we give them money back?

315
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,000
Okay, we will.

316
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,400
You say we'll give it back,

317
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,560
but experts say the hryvnia might crash.

318
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:06,480
Then don't.

319
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,960
Do we give them their money back or not?

320
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,280
-I need to tell the people something!
-Relax.

321
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,920
They were throwing tires at me.

322
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,320
Drink this,
and then we'll think of what to say.

323
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:19,480
Is this cognac?

324
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,360
A sedative.

325
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,160
Olya, you're the head of the Central Bank.
You decide.

326
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,080
And avoid breathing on people today.

327
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,480
Oh, Lord...

328
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,200
One more "only case"?

329
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,080
I didn't expect so many problems.

330
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,120
No worries. The main thing
is that it doesn't become a trend.

331
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:40,600
Mother Trucker, Vasya!

332
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,000
What a freaking mess!
What did you get me into, Vasya?

333
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,120
Why did you stick me
in the foreign ministry?

334
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,720
It's more of a place for douchebags.

335
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,120
I fu...

336
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,040
Hello, Vasyl Petrovych.

337
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:00,600
Hi.

338
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,840
A word, Mr President?

339
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,120
-Vasyl Petrovych, I think I'll go.
-Yes?

340
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,520
-Keep working. Good luck.
-Thanks.

341
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,400
-I'll return the book later.
-Enjoy.

342
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:09,840
Okay, goodbye.

343
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,920
Again, sorry, Yuriy Ivanovich.

344
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,400
-You want it closed?
-Yes.

345
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,120
-No problem.
-Until next time...

346
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,800
What's with you all today?

347
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,560
It's like you've all gone mad,
and running around.

348
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,080
Bursting in without knocking...
You can't do anything without me?

349
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,000
-I don't know how to handle the Ugandists.
-Who?

350
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,800
-Or Ugandosts.
-What?

351
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,600
I don't know what they're called.

352
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,840
-It's some country in Asia.
-Which country?

353
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,520
Ugandiya!

354
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,280
Uganda.

355
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,800
And it's in Africa, not Asia.

356
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,880
Who cares, Vasya. A coup is underway.

357
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,760
-What coup?
-Military. We have to act!

358
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,040
How? If it's military, then condemn it.

359
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,440
The U.S. approved it.

360
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,680
Then also approve it.

361
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,000
-But China condemned it!
-Then maintain a neutral stance.

362
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,920
No, Vasya. That's what the Swiss do.

363
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,800
-Are you the foreign minister?
-I am.

364
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,080
Then decide whether to condemn or approve,

365
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,200
to support or not.

366
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,520
Okay, go to work.
And don't blow my head off.

367
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,640
-Vasya, what's up?
-Enough!

368
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,160
What do you want from me?

369
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,160
Or do you also have problems
with generals, colonels,

370
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,160
or other officers?

371
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,760
Maybe you put money into a bank

372
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,080
and it happened to crash?

373
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,000
Or are you planning
a coup in Uganda, you Ugandian?

374
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,800
What the hell do you want from me?

375
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,800
I wanted to ask
if you'd like to have lunch.

376
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,200
Yes, Olya. I see.

377
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,600
I've heard of Nikolaevskiy Bank.

378
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:30,960
Yes.

379
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,000
I think she's one of ours.

380
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,680
-From the old days.
-A KGB asset from the Andropov era?

381
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,360
Or a dissident,
whose conditioning isn't complete?

382
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,120
It's hard to check.
Moscow has the database.

383
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,280
Let's not guess.

384
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,240
Just quietly get rid of her.

385
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:47,520
Immediately?

386
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,200
You mean, for good?

387
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,280
What for?

388
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,160
There's a more original method.

389
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,720
It's called Summer Rain.

390
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,200
It'll come into effect in four hours.

391
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,520
Tomorrow, she won't remember a thing.

392
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,800
Are you sure?

393
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,960
We'll find out.

394
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,920
Okay, Olya. Don't worry.

395
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,680
I'll handle it...

396
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,280
right now.

397
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,520
Right.

398
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,240
Who does economic security?

399
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,359
Yatsenko, if I'm not mistaken.

400
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,560
Yes, ma'am, me.

401
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,440
You finished high school
with a C in mathematics.

402
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,400
That explains a lot.

403
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,080
You're just average, Yatsenko.

404
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,400
I had a B grade.

405
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,080
In gym class.

406
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,760
Yatsenko,
have you heard of Nikolaevskiy Bank?

407
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,080
It sounds familiar.

408
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,440
I'd even say that it's familial.

409
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,360
Its owner is Igor Nikolaevskiy,

410
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,760
your brother-in-law.

411
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,840
Now I recall it.

412
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:52,800
Marvelous.

413
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,440
Then maybe
you'll recall that under your patronage,

414
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,960
Nikolaevskiy ruined the bank,

415
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,080
shifted its funds to offshore accounts,

416
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,480
and fled to an unknown location.

417
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,000
Or, perhaps, you know where he is?

418
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,440
I don't. God's honest truth.

419
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:09,600
Excuse me.

420
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,800
We'll end with this.

421
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,160
I understand that this won't be easy,

422
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,280
but trust me,
I've had tougher classes than you bunch.

423
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:29,520
There was nothing to it. I handled it.
Many even became successful in life.

424
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,040
Please be quiet
and I'll explain everything.

425
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:32,920
Quiet!

426
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,680
Friends,
I fully comprehend your predicament.

427
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,920
Our people have been swindled so often

428
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,920
that we no longer trust any government.

429
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,280
I say "we" because
I don't dissociate myself from you.

430
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:44,800
See, I came to talk to you.

431
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,920
I'm not hiding or running away from you.

432
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,560
Therefore...

433
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,960
I ask that you trust me
as a normal person.

434
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,040
We'll get your money back.
That, I promise.

435
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,280
Here's your virgin mojito, Nina Yegorovna.

436
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,920
Thanks, Igor.

437
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,440
For both the mojito and the information.

438
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,120
If only you had seen their faces.

439
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:03,920
They're to blame.

440
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,520
They get drunk and start jousting
over who has more clout.

441
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,600
I remember your phenomenal memory

442
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,720
from your school days.

443
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaking of...

444
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,000
Didn't you get a PhD in mathematics?

445
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,760
What brought you here?

446
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,720
The good tips.

447
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:21,760
I see.

448
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,080
This is Krivitskiy.
We're minus one person now.

449
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,440
We can't do the same to the others.
It'll look too suspicious.

450
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,120
Olya, how's the chicken?

451
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,360
It looks good. Just the way we like it.

452
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,720
Ivan, did you handle the generals?

453
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,720
I threw the old farts out and fired them.

454
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,520
They will remember...

455
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,920
Captain Skorik.

456
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,960
-Glass, please.
-Get it, Vanya.

457
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,680
Mukhin was a trip today!

458
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:37,840
Olya, can you believe

459
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,720
the foreign minister
can't find Uganda on the map?

460
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,200
-He confused everybody.
-Listen.

461
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,800
I still might not know
where Uganda is located,

462
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,280
but I adamantly handled the situation.

463
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,200
-Yeah, yeah!
-How was your day?

464
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,960
Vasya, everything's in tip-top shape.
You know me.

465
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,800
Guys, I want to drink to you

466
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,280
and your first day on the job.

467
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,760
-You're awesome. I love you all.
-Thanks.

468
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,120
Likewise!

469
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,960
-I'll turn it up.
-Change it.

470
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,440
Wait, I want to see
what these buffoons say.

471
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,000
Let's proceed in the right order.
It's customary for ladies to go first.

472
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,960
So the new Central Bank head...

473
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,040
I shouldn't have worn that blouse.

474
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,240
Olya Mischenko.

475
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,720
After her promise

476
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,600
to compensate
the swindled clients of Nikolaevskiy Bank,

477
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:30,240
the exchange market saw turbulence,
with the dollar gaining three points.

478
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:34,000
Three points,
all based on what Olya simply said.

479
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,120
It's scary to imagine
what will happen when she begins to act.

480
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,120
We sincerely convey our condolences...

481
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,960
That's off-base. Really off-base.

482
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:44,760
What should I have told them?

483
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,640
Sorry, dear citizens,
you'll get a big fat zero?

484
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,600
Olya, don't worry. It's the first day.

485
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,600
New defense minister Ivan Skorik
boldly started his first day on the job.

486
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,880
Today, the construction of a residential
complex for army personnel came to a halt.

487
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:02,120
Some 2,000 military families were
deprived of their long-awaited apartments.

488
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,240
Screw a kangaroo!

489
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,160
It wasn't a building site.

490
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,760
It was the same thing morning until
night. They were laundering money.

491
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,920
I always said,

492
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,640
first use your head, then act.

493
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,800
He always blurts things out. Why do that?

494
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:14,880
No one's immune.

495
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,640
Luckily, that never happens to me.

496
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,720
But the one who stood out the most,
of course, was the new foreign minister.

497
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,480
Alert viewers counted

498
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,400
that while commenting
on the coup in Uganda, Mr. Mukhin,

499
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,640
in just 20 seconds and 44 words,

500
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,320
managed to cross the boundaries
of political correctness six times.

501
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,200
Say what?

502
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,960
This is their internal ball game.

503
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,840
Put simply... Why do we always deliberate
over the coups in Africa?

504
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,000
Negroes are also people!
Let them coup if they want.

505
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,280
You, clearly, meant to say Africans?

506
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,640
Negroes, Africans... No difference.

507
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,880
Aren't negroes and Africans the same?

508
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:52,640
Or is "negro" a bad word?

509
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,120
I didn't say "nigger", I said "negroes".

510
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,720
Incidentally, have you heard
a joke about this? I'll tell you.

511
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,160
Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately,

512
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,640
we can't show Mukhin's joke.

513
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:04,840
What did I say?

514
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,440
Mukhin-Mukhin...

515
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,000
In summary, one could say

516
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,600
that for President Holobordko's new team,

517
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,880
this was a black - excuse me -
African day.

518
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,000
Well, guys. That was quite amazing.

519
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,960
That's all for now. Tune in tomorrow.

520
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,920
We'll talk about the new tax service head,

521
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,440
Mikhail Sanin.

522
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,880
In one day, he managed

523
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,680
to screw up so much
that we've filmed a special report.

524
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,680
Goodbye.

525
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,760
Well, then...
If without salt, then no salt.

526
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,600
Or, perhaps, add some pepper?

527
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,600
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz