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- Mazel tov!
- Yeah!
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Congratulations, Mrs. Simon.
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♪ Maybe by now you should know ♪
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♪ You got your somebody calling ♪
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♪ You think you're somebody, don't you? ♪
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♪ I think you're scared
Of keeping somebody close ♪
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♪ You'll never stop this flame... ♪
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God, I love my life.
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♪ Wasn't it enough?
Or did I move too far? ♪
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This is crazy.
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This is our life.
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♪ Everything I had ♪
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♪ Everything I had ♪
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♪ Tell me to stop but I keep on going
Keep on, keep on, keep on ♪
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♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
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- ♪ I will never let you go... ♪
- Wow.
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Look at you.
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It's the Grammys.
We're not taking the car?
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That would make way too much sense.
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♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
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♪ I will never let you go ♪
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♪ Keep away from me ♪
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♪ If you can't withstand my love ♪
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♪ Keep away from me ♪
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♪ Away from me if you think you must ♪
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♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
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♪ I will never let you go ♪
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♪ Well, who am I to say? ♪
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♪ Maybe by now you should know ♪
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♪ You got your somebody calling ♪
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♪ You think you're somebody, don't you? ♪
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♪ I think you're scared
Of keeping somebody close ♪
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♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
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♪ I will never let you go ♪
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I can't.
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I do know what a life
with you would feel like. We would...
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It would be incredible.
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But it would also mean
giving up all of this.
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And this isn't perfect.
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And it's...
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It's really fucking hard, you know?
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But I love Cooper.
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And I don't want a future without him.
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Life is... choices.
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And this one's mine.
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So it's him?
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He's the one?
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Yes.
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♪ Back to this room... ♪
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Well, you're my one, Billie Mann.
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♪ Back to our roots... ♪
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You always will be.
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♪ What did we lose? ♪
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♪ If I could, I'd pull your strings
For one more dance ♪
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♪ But I can't ♪
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♪ Say, isn't it strange? ♪
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♪ Isn't it strange? ♪
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♪ Isn't it strange? ♪
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♪ How people can change ♪
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♪ From strangers to friends ♪
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♪ Friends into lovers ♪
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♪ And strangers again ♪
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Now, who says elephants have to be gray?
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- Hmm?
- Mm!
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Mine is pink and purple,
and that's just the way I like it.
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- I'm making quesadillas. Is that good?
- Where is Daddy?
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He's, um... He's still in bed.
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It's almost dinner.
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I know, honey. He's...
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He's not feeling well, you know. And, um...
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He needs to rest.
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- I'm gonna make him a feel-better card.
- That is so nice.
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He's gonna love it, I'm sure.
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I've brought you some food.
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- And a card from Hudson.
- I don't wanna eat.
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Look.
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- What happened last night...
- Don't.
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I don't even recognize myself.
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- It's like I became a monster.
- You're not a monster.
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- I broke our marriage vows.
- Well, that's not exactly how I see it.
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It's not cheating
if it happens in front of your wife
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at a sex party
you both agreed to be at, is it?
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- What I did to Devon...
- Honey.
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None of that matters.
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All I see when I look at you
is my beautiful husband.
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That's not who I am anymore.
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There's a stain on me and on our marriage.
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We all do bad things. You know,
we all have a darkness inside of us.
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No. I didn't.
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Not until you put it there.
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This is not all my fault.
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I tried to become someone else for you
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because of him.
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Today... is a fresh start.
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- We need to look forward.
- I don't think I can do that.
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There's some damage
that's too hard to come back from.
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Cooper.
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It's on everything.
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That stain, it's on our family.
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It's on our friends.
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It's on this life that I love so much,
the only life I ever saw for myself.
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- We can get it back.
- How?
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How am I supposed to look
at those people, at this house,
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at you, and not see that stain?
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This is so not fair.
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If I can somehow get past
what you did with Trina,
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why can't you get past
what happened with Brad?
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- Which was so much less! We never kissed!
- You were in love with him!
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- You still are!
- Brad is gone.
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Forever.
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Trust me. He is never coming back.
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Brad is ten exits away! I don't believe
he's ever gonna be out of our lives.
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Daddy. Daddy, you're awake.
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Hey, buddy.
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Come here.
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Hudson.
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Don't yell at Mommy, okay?
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Oh, honey, I'm fine, baby.
I'm fine. We were...
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We were just talking.
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Thanks for staying.
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I was gonna clean up. Then, I figured,
maybe I should just open a bottle of wine.
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Listen, I hate to say it,
but... so much has happened.
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- Maybe you and Coop should take a break.
- No.
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- Just to get perspective.
- I...
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I have perspective.
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I know what I want.
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I turned Brad down for a reason,
and that is Cooper.
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- Okay. But Coop is...
- Is halfway out the door.
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I know.
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This thing with Trina...
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- Not to mention his boss.
- I know.
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I'm hanging on by a thread.
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But I'm not letting go.
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I love my husband.
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And I'm going to get our life back.
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This journal is what
almost destroyed my marriage.
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Maybe this time around, it can save it.
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October 6th. Said goodbye to Brad.
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Forever.
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I think it was Betty Friedan who told us
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we can have it all,
just not all at the same time.
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And there's a freedom in accepting that.
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We live so many different lives
in one lifetime.
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And when I look at my life as a whole,
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all the things I've done,
all the people I've been,
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all the pleasure I've received,
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I am so damn lucky.
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So Cooper can talk about stains
all he wants, but I know
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adversity can make us stronger.
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And I did not come this far
to lose everything now.
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Right after school,
we're going to take you to L.A.
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Morning, Caroline.
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Billie.
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- Bonjour.
- What is he doing?
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He's practicing
for the international fair.
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We got France, so...
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Hannah, why don't you go play
with Avery and Isabella instead?
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Caroline.
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Hudson can go play with some blocks
or whatever. Have a great day.
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Hudson, it's okay, honey.
Your French is so good.
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I love you.
I'll see you after lunch. Go play.
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Caroline.
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Caroline, wait.
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What are you doing?
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Trina told me what happened.
You took her and Devon to a sex party?
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What? No. Trina took me.
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Oh, please.
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Trina would never. You're the one
who was cheating on your husband.
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- I didn't cheat.
- Really?
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You admitted in the middle of SoHo that
you've been fantasizing about your ex.
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And Trina told me that he called you
when you were at my house,
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and you snuck out
into my backyard to answer it.
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You know what, Caroline?
I never judged you for hating sex.
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Maybe don't judge me for liking it.
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I saw Devon's face. What Cooper did...
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- Cooper feels terrible.
- I don't blame him.
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I blame you. You have dragged
your husband through the mud.
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If you two are still together
at Christmas, I'll eat my shirt.
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- Morning.
- Morning.
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00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,922
Cooper, thanks for joining.
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Have a seat.
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Brutal, right?
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Told me he was jumped in Greenwich.
Who knew?
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What's going on?
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Devon here is trying to sell me
on his residential hydropower idea.
187
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Again.
188
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:43,948
I think it's risky.
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It's a crowded field, and I don't think
the numbers are there,
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but according to Devon,
you think it's a winner.
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And since you're the golden boy
around here after Nanogenics,
192
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if you think there's something in it,
then I need to reconsider.
193
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You know we have limited resources.
194
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,467
Is this how you think
we should we spending them?
195
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,267
Yes.
196
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:14,727
Yes, it is.
197
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,774
Well, all right, then.
198
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,568
Now, it is a crowded field,
199
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,571
so maybe not the full investment
that Devon's talking about.
200
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:26,323
No. If this is gonna work,
we need to go all in.
201
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,242
Double what you put into Nanogenics.
202
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,415
I'll set up the pitch.
203
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:45,384
So that's your plan, huh? Gonna blackmail
me into supporting your shitty ideas?
204
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,262
I haven't decided what I'm gonna do,
but it's a good start.
205
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,556
And you should be grateful.
206
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,392
If I went to the cops, you go to jail.
207
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,562
Or I can go to HR
and hashtag-something your ass.
208
00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:01,066
Instead, we're going deep
into residential hydropower, Cooper.
209
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,614
You smell that? Smells like a partnership
with my name on it.
210
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:23,756
Well, well, you got a lot of nerve
211
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,216
showing up without even a muffin basket.
212
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:30,721
Cut the shit. I talked to Caroline.
You turned this whole thing around.
213
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,599
Did I? The details are a little fuzzy.
214
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,435
You knew Cooper and I were
in a fragile place,
215
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:39,688
and you made a move on my husband
without even checking with me.
216
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,275
You asked for my help.
You came to that party of your own accord.
217
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:47,488
Your husband told me to do what I did.
It tasted like he enjoyed it.
218
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,575
That was a onetime mistake.
219
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,788
Don't you ever touch my husband again.
220
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,669
I thought
you wanted something more, Billie.
221
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,588
All your talk of sex and freedom.
222
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:08,509
Instead, you made a very public problem
at a very private party.
223
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:12,721
I know, and I'm sorry,
but that's what it took for me to realize
224
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,683
I don't want what you and Devon have.
225
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:19,019
I don't want my husband fantasizing
about somebody else,
226
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,146
let alone acting on those fantasies.
227
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,066
So you're gonna go back
to being Little Miss Happy Homemaker?
228
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,152
No. In fact,
I probably should get back to work.
229
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,696
Right, to keep you distracted
230
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,116
from the fact that your deepest
feminine desires are utterly unfulfilled.
231
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:33,325
That's not true.
232
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:38,914
There are a lot of ways to be feminine,
a lot of different desires.
233
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,001
Fine. You can tell yourself
that'll be enough.
234
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,586
But I know it won't be.
235
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,215
Guess what. Your husband knows too.
236
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:51,260
Cooper and I are working things out.
237
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,304
You might be trying to,
but I'm not sure Cooper is.
238
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,974
He seemed pretty done with you to me.
239
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,526
- Can I talk to you for a sec?
- Yeah, sure.
240
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:20,039
I lied before.
I'm not into residential hydropower.
241
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:24,710
And let me guess.
Devon didn't get jumped in Greenwich.
242
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:26,794
No.
243
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,464
That was me.
244
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,886
What are you talking about?
245
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,638
Billie and I were trying
to spice things up.
246
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,932
And so we...
247
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,187
We let Devon and Trina take us to, um...
248
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,901
to a party, and things got out of control.
249
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,360
I...
250
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,364
I did things with Trina...
251
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,910
and Devon tried to get with Billie...
252
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,040
and I lost it.
253
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:08,253
I cannot imagine you doing any of this.
254
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,256
That's not the Cooper Connelly I know.
255
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,801
It's not the Cooper Connelly
that I know either.
256
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,181
Um...
257
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,020
I have to take this to HR.
258
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:29,483
Despite the fact that
the incident occurred outside of work,
259
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,277
it was still a physical altercation
between two employees.
260
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,361
I know.
261
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,489
I can't let my feelings get in the way.
262
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,407
I understand that, and I'm...
263
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,284
I'm so sorry.
264
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,286
No, I'm sorry for you.
265
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,290
When are you gonna leave her?
266
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,337
- Francesca...
- She's destroying you.
267
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:57,928
I told you how you rescued me.
Now it's my turn.
268
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,143
This is a key to my apartment.
269
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:08,021
It's a safe haven. Maybe a fresh start.
270
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,486
You don't ever have to go home again.
271
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:51,982
Mommy?
272
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,361
Hi, honey.
273
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,239
Oh, look at you!
274
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,116
What's a divorce?
275
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,204
Where'd you hear that word?
276
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,790
Hannah said her mom said
you and Daddy are getting a divorce.
277
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:14,129
That's not happening. Okay? It's...
278
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,967
It's not true. I promise.
279
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,597
Hey, hey. Aunty Sasha's back.
280
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,018
- Almost time for you guys to go, right?
- Daddy's not home.
281
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:31,647
Oh, he's coming. I'm sure he's on his way.
282
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,649
We can't make France without Daddy.
283
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,819
We're gonna be fine, honey. We've got...
284
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:42,866
We have passports, we have brie.
Everything's gonna be great.
285
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,579
Hey, Huddy.
286
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:53,335
Why don't we go check on Ellary?
What do you say? Yeah? Okay.
287
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:56,463
Go, go, go. I'll race you.
288
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,312
You've reached
Cooper Connelly.
289
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:17,442
Sorry I'm not available to take your call.
Leave a message. I'll speak with you soon.
290
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,705
Cooper, where are you?
291
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:24,116
I know you're angry,
but it's Hudson's International Fair.
292
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,701
Don't do this to him.
293
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,997
Don't do this to us.
294
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:34,543
Just... Just call me. Please.
295
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,518
Thanks for seeing me.
296
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,151
You want a drink?
297
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,906
Yeah. Sure.
298
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,452
So this is, uh...
299
00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,456
your place, huh?
300
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,543
This is where you lived...
301
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,463
together.
302
00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:06,635
- Yeah.
- Look...
303
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,390
I know there's something going on
between you.
304
00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:18,438
She's in love with you.
Always has been, always will be.
305
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:19,815
- Cooper...
- Just stop.
306
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,786
I just need to know...
307
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,209
Is this real for you too?
308
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,089
Okay, if I walk away,
309
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,551
will you take care of her?
310
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,973
It's not just her. Okay? It's my kids too.
311
00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:57,394
They'll be a part of your life,
they'll have to be.
312
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:07,028
And I will not walk away unless I know
that they're all gonna be okay.
313
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:15,202
It is real.
314
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,668
I am undeniably in love with your wife.
315
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:25,422
And I would do anything...
316
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,550
lay down my life...
317
00:24:30,343 --> 00:24:32,679
to be the father
of her children and yours.
318
00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:40,103
But she won't have me.
319
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,232
Oh, bullshit.
320
00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:47,235
She said no.
321
00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:52,073
And trust me, I tried.
322
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:57,954
I even brought her a ring,
asked her to marry me.
323
00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:03,418
She said no this whole time.
324
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,129
'Cause that's who she is.
325
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,716
That's who you're married to.
326
00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:13,427
Is it?
327
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:19,851
'Cause I'm not sure
that I even know who I'm married to.
328
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,611
You know, you were right.
329
00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:32,655
At dinner.
330
00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:39,371
There is a reason
why she never mentioned you.
331
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,627
'Cause she was hiding herself because...
332
00:25:48,296 --> 00:25:53,426
I think, deep down,
she does want a life that is...
333
00:25:55,637 --> 00:26:00,308
That is... That is wilder and bigger...
334
00:26:01,768 --> 00:26:03,019
than just me.
335
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:05,730
Wrong, mate.
336
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:10,652
- She's all about you.
- Yeah, yeah, for now.
337
00:26:12,195 --> 00:26:13,195
Maybe.
338
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:17,742
But we both know...
339
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:20,996
whatever I can offer...
340
00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:24,165
It's everything she's ever wanted.
341
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:35,969
Kids, a husband who would never run away.
342
00:26:39,472 --> 00:26:42,225
Everything I was too chickenshit
to give her.
343
00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:48,106
You can only run around
having crazy adventures for so long.
344
00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:53,820
At the end of the day,
Billie really wanted me to be...
345
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:58,490
you.
346
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:07,000
So the real question isn't,
"Am I gonna take care of her?"
347
00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,716
The question is, "Are you?"
348
00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:06,726
Oh, nope. Nope.
349
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,234
No one wants it.
350
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:19,698
That's okay, honey. You know, um...
351
00:28:21,491 --> 00:28:23,076
Maybe they're just full.
352
00:28:24,577 --> 00:28:27,372
Why don't you go check out Japan?
They have salmon sushi.
353
00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:30,291
Your favorite, right? Yeah? Go on.
354
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:38,842
Hannah, why don't you go find your father?
355
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:41,720
All the daddies are bringing in
the drinks.
356
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,139
At least, all the daddies who came.
357
00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:45,473
Okay, that's enough.
358
00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:48,768
Whatever your inner nun is telling you,
359
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:51,938
dissing a 4-year-old is not
the appropriate response.
360
00:28:52,021 --> 00:28:53,898
Billie, you need to back off.
361
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:55,692
Caroline is not your problem.
362
00:28:55,775 --> 00:28:58,194
Yeah. It's not her fault
your husband isn't here.
363
00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:01,489
- Cooper got tied up at work.
- Devon said he left two hours ago.
364
00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:06,661
Look, Billie,
I'm sorry about what's happening.
365
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,705
You have no idea what's happening.
366
00:29:09,289 --> 00:29:11,458
I know that you're questioning
a lot of things
367
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:14,210
that most women here
simply accept as canon,
368
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:17,422
and honestly,
a part of me admires you for that.
369
00:29:17,505 --> 00:29:19,674
Not sure what there is to admire.
370
00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:22,218
But it's also scaring people
371
00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:26,014
because it's making them wonder
what they might be settling for too.
372
00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:28,850
I'm not settling, Judy.
373
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,143
I love my life!
374
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:33,271
Do you?
Then why are you so afraid to question it?
375
00:29:33,354 --> 00:29:35,732
Maybe it's okay to admit
that the happily-ever-after
376
00:29:35,815 --> 00:29:38,860
never turned out
to be so deliriously happy after all.
377
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:43,740
I am! Deliriously happy. Seriously.
378
00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:45,867
It's not like Trina's
the first married woman
379
00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,660
who ever wanted to go to a sex party.
380
00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:48,870
Excuse me?
381
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,974
What do you think would have happened
if your old boyfriend hadn't turned out
382
00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:55,168
to be bald, fat
and in the concrete business?
383
00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:58,546
You're right.
I don't know where Cooper is.
384
00:29:58,630 --> 00:29:59,923
I don't know where we are,
385
00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:02,717
but I do know
that I am trying to live my life
386
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:06,137
with open eyes and an open heart,
and it is messy,
387
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:11,267
and it's joyful,
and it is soul-crushing and necessary.
388
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:14,813
Oh, please.
Spare us the lecture and just admit
389
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,274
that you're dying to go back to spreading
your legs on the Lower East Side.
390
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:22,529
Hey. You leave her alone, okay?
You are in no position to judge.
391
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,072
Back off, Boy Scout.
392
00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:27,575
I am so sick of Good Guy Connelly.
You're no saint, buddy.
393
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:31,162
At least I'm willing
to take responsibility for what I did.
394
00:30:33,373 --> 00:30:34,499
To everyone.
395
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,753
If you're gonna hand out apologies,
start with me.
396
00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:42,382
No. She deserves it.
And a whole hell of a lot more.
397
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:45,844
Spoken like
the pussy-whipped pussy you are.
398
00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,180
You're really gonna do this here?
399
00:30:49,264 --> 00:30:51,558
- You let her run all over you...
- Real classy, Dev.
400
00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:53,810
...and you're too weak
to shut that crazy down.
401
00:30:53,893 --> 00:30:55,562
Don't talk about Billie like that.
402
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:58,773
Yes, we've had our problems.
We're working it out.
403
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:00,567
That's called marriage.
404
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:04,946
This right here, this is the real world.
405
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:08,783
Okay? I don't know
what world you all are living in.
406
00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:18,293
You say what you want,
but Billie's a good woman.
407
00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:21,045
And she is a great mother.
408
00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:26,968
And I love her with everything that I got.
409
00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:34,684
Daddy. Italy has gelato.
That's ice cream, right?
410
00:31:35,518 --> 00:31:39,856
Hey, buddy, guess what. I know
where they got the best ice cream in town.
411
00:31:40,773 --> 00:31:41,773
Come here.
412
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,194
Let's get out of here.
413
00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:13,056
I lost the partnership.
414
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:18,728
I may lose my job.
415
00:32:20,855 --> 00:32:22,941
HR still needs to speak with Devon.
416
00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:27,320
After what just went down,
I'm sure he'll do his worst.
417
00:32:27,403 --> 00:32:28,529
Oh, honey.
418
00:32:29,906 --> 00:32:31,366
I am so sorry.
419
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:34,077
I know you worked so hard.
420
00:32:42,293 --> 00:32:43,670
I went to see him.
421
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:46,673
Brad.
422
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:49,258
I know he was at the house.
423
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,929
He showed up.
424
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:54,806
I sent him away.
425
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:58,351
I didn't mention it
because there was no reason to.
426
00:32:58,434 --> 00:33:00,103
I was never going back to him.
427
00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:03,898
If I'd have told you
that he came, that he...
428
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:06,234
proposed to me...
429
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,738
- you'd have left, and you know it.
- I don't know anything.
430
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:13,700
All I do know is that if we have
any chance of making it,
431
00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:17,161
we have gotta be honest
with each other. Starting now.
432
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:18,245
You're right.
433
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:22,458
I'm so sorry.
434
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,669
For all of it.
435
00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:27,839
Stains come out.
436
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,425
They wash away.
437
00:33:33,344 --> 00:33:35,638
This one will. I know it.
438
00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:38,141
This is delicious.
439
00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:41,519
Come here. You're delicious.
440
00:33:41,602 --> 00:33:44,105
- Yes!
- Ooh, babe, hold on. Just...
441
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:47,150
Yeah. Right there.
442
00:33:51,946 --> 00:33:52,946
Hey.
443
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:56,075
We're gonna be okay.
444
00:34:00,663 --> 00:34:03,750
You got a chocolate beard, mister.
You know that?
445
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,671
There are a lot of things
that can give you butterflies.
446
00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:13,092
And what that is changes over a lifetime.
447
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:36,824
Good morning.
448
00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:39,744
Okay. There you go, honey.
449
00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:42,872
- I love you.
- All right. I love you.
450
00:34:42,955 --> 00:34:45,333
- Thank you, Olga.
- Have a great day.
451
00:34:45,416 --> 00:34:47,168
♪ And you want it ♪
452
00:34:48,878 --> 00:34:51,005
♪ Then you take it ♪
453
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:56,844
♪ Forget what you see
When you close your eyes... ♪
454
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,724
- You're really doing it.
- Yeah.
455
00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:06,312
- We are totally getting lunch.
- Yes. Yes.
456
00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,649
♪ I'm a woman ♪
457
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:11,526
♪ What you see ♪
458
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:13,027
♪ What you see ♪
459
00:35:13,402 --> 00:35:15,613
♪ Ain't run through me ♪
460
00:35:31,087 --> 00:35:32,672
♪ You don't want it ♪
461
00:35:34,841 --> 00:35:36,592
♪ Then don't take it ♪
462
00:35:38,594 --> 00:35:40,304
♪ No rest for the weak ♪
463
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:42,348
♪ No sleep at night ♪
464
00:35:42,431 --> 00:35:43,850
♪ You can make it ♪
465
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:47,728
♪ You're gonna want it ♪
466
00:35:50,022 --> 00:35:51,774
♪ You're gonna make it ♪
467
00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:57,363
♪ You forget what you see
When you close your eyes... ♪
468
00:35:57,446 --> 00:35:58,573
You coming in?
469
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,121
♪ I'm a woman, what you see ♪
470
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:08,416
♪ I'm a woman, what you see ♪
471
00:36:08,499 --> 00:36:11,294
♪ Ain't run through me
Ain't run through me... ♪
472
00:36:11,377 --> 00:36:14,797
Okay, Olga's gonna pick you up.
But I should be home by dinner. Okay?
473
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,007
Hi, Hudson.
474
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:25,640
Thank you.
475
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:33,357
♪ Won't you come be my friend... ♪
476
00:36:34,942 --> 00:36:36,402
I talked to HR.
477
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:41,157
Told them the whole thing was
a misunderstanding, which it was.
478
00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:47,413
- And they bought that?
- Fuck, no. But no plaintiff, no complaint.
479
00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:52,460
♪ Won't you come be my friend? ♪
480
00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:53,544
Thanks, buddy.
481
00:36:56,672 --> 00:36:57,840
You and Billie...
482
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,551
you've really got something.
483
00:37:00,635 --> 00:37:02,053
♪ What you see ♪
484
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:05,681
♪ I'm a woman, what you see ♪
485
00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:07,099
♪ I'm a woman... ♪
486
00:37:07,183 --> 00:37:08,184
I know.
487
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,061
I'm a lucky man.
488
00:37:10,144 --> 00:37:13,397
♪ What you see, what you see ♪
489
00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:16,859
♪ I'm a woman, what you see ♪
490
00:37:17,318 --> 00:37:18,903
♪ I'm a woman... ♪
491
00:37:19,528 --> 00:37:20,528
Wow.
492
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:24,909
- Sasha has quite the following.
- Yeah.
493
00:37:25,993 --> 00:37:27,453
She's a rock star.
494
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,747
It's called code-switching.
495
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:33,376
Something we, in the Black community,
know all too well.
496
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:38,256
When you change the way you talk
based on who you're talking to.
497
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:40,967
Usually because the way
you have traditionally spoken
498
00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:43,135
is considered unacceptable
499
00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:44,428
by some other group.
500
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:47,765
In this case, mainstream white America.
501
00:37:47,848 --> 00:37:51,852
You abandon your authentic self
in an attempt to fit in.
502
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:54,605
But you know who else code-switches?
503
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:59,860
Women. We fall into line.
504
00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:05,032
Fall into language and behavior
which fits expectations men have dictated.
505
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,326
We make ourselves smaller.
506
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,997
Less intimidating. Less dangerous.
507
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,833
For some women,
this is what happens during marriage.
508
00:38:13,916 --> 00:38:17,795
Many others feel this is the only way
to make themselves marriage-worthy.
509
00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:23,175
Repressing who we are is
classic unhealthy behavior.
510
00:38:23,259 --> 00:38:26,053
The rage that comes
as a result of it is real.
511
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:30,391
As is the desperate need for a release.
512
00:38:31,183 --> 00:38:32,685
Assimilation.
513
00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:37,440
Fitting in has always been a key strategy
for survival in America.
514
00:38:37,523 --> 00:38:39,525
But is it really behavior...
515
00:38:48,117 --> 00:38:50,619
Women need to honor those feelings.
516
00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:52,830
And respect their validity.
517
00:38:52,913 --> 00:38:55,333
The goal, of course,
518
00:38:56,375 --> 00:38:59,545
is to return to that one true self.
519
00:39:00,129 --> 00:39:03,215
Regardless of how uncomfortable
it makes others feel.
520
00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:08,179
That is the third way.
521
00:39:08,929 --> 00:39:12,308
That is what we all need to find.
522
00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:25,071
- She's incredible.
- I know.
523
00:39:33,245 --> 00:39:35,790
Connelly fam. You made it.
524
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:38,751
Are you kidding?
We wouldn't miss this for the world.
525
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,045
You okay?
526
00:39:41,754 --> 00:39:46,008
Yeah. I'm just...
I'm just so happy for you.
527
00:39:47,093 --> 00:39:49,804
Incredible stuff, Sash.
It's a lot to think about.
528
00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:51,597
- Hey.
- Hey.
529
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:52,848
You remember Alex?
530
00:39:54,308 --> 00:39:55,142
Alex, hey.
531
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,936
- Cooper. Great to meet you.
- Likewise.
532
00:39:57,019 --> 00:39:58,019
Choking guy.
533
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,149
- Yes. Hi.
- Hi.
534
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:03,692
- How are you?
- Good. How are you?
535
00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:04,944
Good. Good.
536
00:40:05,611 --> 00:40:06,904
I'll call you later.
537
00:40:06,987 --> 00:40:08,364
I have news.
538
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:14,036
- Ready to go?
- Yeah, sure, sure.
539
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,081
Buddy, grab your book for me. Here we go.
540
00:40:29,009 --> 00:40:31,679
Your one true self.
541
00:40:32,888 --> 00:40:36,100
It's hard to know which one of the voices
in your head that is.
542
00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:44,524
Hey.
543
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:48,654
How's my New York Times-
best-selling best friend?
544
00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:49,864
Pretty good actually.
545
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:54,618
What the hell is that?
546
00:40:55,703 --> 00:40:57,830
You're the one
who said erotic asphyxiation
547
00:40:57,913 --> 00:41:00,833
is what it takes
to get Sasha Snow to settle down.
548
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:03,544
I'd say I'm seriously considering.
549
00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:05,629
That's from choking guy?
550
00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:07,339
Alex.
551
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:09,800
I told him I needed 48 hours.
552
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:13,304
Which wasn't exactly
the response he wanted to hear, but...
553
00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:15,264
You're wearing the ring.
554
00:41:15,347 --> 00:41:17,433
'Cause it's gorgeous.
555
00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:20,936
But I still gotta figure out
what I'm gonna do.
556
00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:23,147
So, what do you say?
557
00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:27,193
Me, marriage, you think I could hack it?
558
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:30,863
Oh, my God. Now I'm the one
giving you marriage advice?
559
00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:35,034
Girl, come on.
You and Coop are doing so well.
560
00:41:35,117 --> 00:41:36,952
You're finding your third way.
561
00:41:37,703 --> 00:41:38,579
Right?
562
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:40,331
Yeah, yeah. We are.
563
00:41:40,414 --> 00:41:43,042
And you fought so hard
for your marriage, B.
564
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,793
There's gotta be something in it.
565
00:41:44,877 --> 00:41:46,712
Oh, there is. So much.
566
00:41:47,379 --> 00:41:50,466
You know it's the one time
567
00:41:50,549 --> 00:41:53,802
in life where reality is even better
than you imagined.
568
00:41:53,886 --> 00:41:55,262
Mmm, I don't know.
569
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:58,516
My Denzel in a T-string fantasy
has stood the test of time.
570
00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:00,559
That's true.
571
00:42:01,977 --> 00:42:04,647
But how do I know Alex is the one?
572
00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,482
Or that there even is such a thing?
573
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:10,945
That there is one man who can make
the day-to-day sameness of marriage
574
00:42:11,028 --> 00:42:14,114
not feel like
some boring patriarchal sacrifice?
575
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:18,868
You don't.
576
00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:21,913
B?
577
00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:28,546
You know there's, um...
578
00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:34,593
There's always gonna be
some other guy who's hotter, sexier...
579
00:42:36,595 --> 00:42:38,097
who has that spark.
580
00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:43,519
But that's nothing compared
to having a real partner.
581
00:42:44,728 --> 00:42:45,813
A teammate.
582
00:42:47,982 --> 00:42:49,733
For anything that life throws at you.
583
00:42:50,901 --> 00:42:52,361
You sure?
584
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:56,490
All that matters is...
585
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:02,580
if you think you can wake up every day
for the rest of your life next to him
586
00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:03,831
and be happy...
587
00:43:06,625 --> 00:43:07,835
then you should do it.
588
00:43:10,045 --> 00:43:11,714
Shit.
589
00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:14,425
I didn't wanna have to give it back.
590
00:43:18,929 --> 00:43:20,931
You're a lucky lady, Billie Connelly.
591
00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:27,813
I really am.
592
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:38,782
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Judy.
593
00:43:39,366 --> 00:43:41,785
Billie, you promised
you'd be on the clean-up crew.
594
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:43,579
Oh, I remember.
595
00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:46,040
Hey, I'm gonna go grab us some seats.
596
00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:48,709
Oh, yeah, and get some extra programs
for Dev and Sash.
597
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,044
- Got it.
- Yeah.
598
00:43:50,544 --> 00:43:55,174
Oh, my God, Caroline. Those look amazing.
Now I have brownie shame.
599
00:43:55,257 --> 00:43:59,553
Believe it or not, they are 100% vegan.
600
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,805
Try eating one. You'll believe it.
601
00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:05,225
- Where'd you put the cups?
- Oh, I'll show you.
602
00:44:06,393 --> 00:44:07,436
You happy?
603
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:10,939
This is your life now.
604
00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:12,816
Apparently it's mine too.
605
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:18,322
- What are you talking about?
- Devon says he was inspired by Cooper.
606
00:44:19,031 --> 00:44:20,908
No more parties. So...
607
00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:22,784
Thanks?
608
00:44:23,702 --> 00:44:26,747
My world just got a little bit smaller
and a lot less fun.
609
00:44:27,956 --> 00:44:28,956
Trina.
610
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:32,753
It's just not possible
to live outside the lines here.
611
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:36,840
So let's hope you're right.
612
00:44:38,842 --> 00:44:40,344
Let's hope it's enough.
613
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,600
Okay, everyone, break a leg.
614
00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:56,735
♪ I am looking for something
But it isn't you ♪
615
00:45:01,198 --> 00:45:02,032
Hey.
616
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:04,493
♪ Something different
Something strange... ♪
617
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,413
Friends and family,
please take your seats,
618
00:45:07,496 --> 00:45:09,164
our show is about to begin.
619
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:15,504
"Hope springs eternal."
It's adorable, right?
620
00:45:15,587 --> 00:45:18,590
Ms. Brenda wouldn't tell us
what part anyone got, so...
621
00:45:18,674 --> 00:45:21,969
Ten bucks says, no matter what,
Hudson's the cutest one.
622
00:45:28,058 --> 00:45:29,768
The joys of spring.
623
00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:32,813
April is a rainbow month.
624
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:35,607
Of sudden springtime showers.
625
00:45:35,691 --> 00:45:37,443
I'm a tree.
626
00:45:37,526 --> 00:45:39,486
I'm a flower.
627
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:42,197
I'm a grasshopper.
628
00:45:42,281 --> 00:45:44,700
- Oh!
- I told you, he is the cutest one.
629
00:45:50,956 --> 00:45:52,374
Spring is here.
630
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:04,720
♪ I can look in the mirror to find... ♪
631
00:46:04,803 --> 00:46:07,347
There are a lot
of different desires.
632
00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:11,310
A lot of ways to be feminine.
633
00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:16,231
♪ Patiently for disaster ♪
634
00:46:17,900 --> 00:46:20,444
♪ I'm tired of being... ♪
635
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:26,116
I do wake up next to him
every day and I am happy.
636
00:46:27,451 --> 00:46:28,451
But...
637
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,248
Oh, God.
638
00:46:34,666 --> 00:46:36,001
It's not enough.
639
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:47,679
♪ Tell me to stop but I keep on going
Tell me to stop but I keep on going ♪
640
00:46:47,763 --> 00:46:50,641
♪ Keep on, keep on, keep on
You'll never stop this flame... ♪
641
00:46:50,724 --> 00:46:51,892
Keep going, bud.
642
00:46:52,684 --> 00:46:53,684
Two minutes.
643
00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:59,316
♪ Well, who am I to say? ♪
644
00:46:59,399 --> 00:47:03,403
♪ Maybe by now you should know ♪
645
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:06,990
♪ You got your somebody calling ♪
646
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:08,951
♪ You think you're somebody, don't you? ♪
647
00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:12,788
♪ I think you're scared
Of keeping somebody close ♪
648
00:47:12,871 --> 00:47:15,040
♪ You'll never stop this flame... ♪
649
00:47:15,123 --> 00:47:17,543
It's not what a woman
is supposed to want...
650
00:47:18,585 --> 00:47:21,839
it's the self we're supposed to enjoy
while we're young...
651
00:47:22,422 --> 00:47:26,009
and then leave behind
to become a responsible grown-up.
652
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,971
We're supposed to simply accept
653
00:47:29,054 --> 00:47:32,516
that we must give up parts of ourselves
along the way.
654
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:38,021
♪ Everything, everything
But it still went bad... ♪
655
00:47:39,606 --> 00:47:43,026
♪ Tell me to stop but I keep on going
Keep on, keep on ♪
656
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,160
Hey.
657
00:47:53,745 --> 00:47:54,745
You okay?
658
00:47:57,457 --> 00:47:58,458
I don't know.
659
00:48:02,254 --> 00:48:06,884
But the true freedom
and power is in saying it out loud,
660
00:48:07,634 --> 00:48:09,511
and announcing ourselves,
661
00:48:09,595 --> 00:48:12,014
letting our desire be known.
662
00:48:12,097 --> 00:48:16,810
♪ Maybe by now you should know ♪
663
00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:20,939
♪ You got your somebody calling... ♪
664
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:22,733
I do want it all.
665
00:48:22,816 --> 00:48:25,527
And I want it right now.
666
00:48:26,361 --> 00:48:28,739
♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
667
00:48:28,822 --> 00:48:32,618
♪ I will never let you go... ♪
668
00:48:36,538 --> 00:48:38,373
I'm not leaving my husband.
669
00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:42,044
♪ If you can't withstand my love... ♪
670
00:48:42,127 --> 00:48:44,046
This changes nothing.
671
00:48:44,963 --> 00:48:47,049
♪ Away from me ♪
672
00:48:47,132 --> 00:48:50,928
♪ Away from me if you think you must... ♪
673
00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:53,221
Now fuck me.
674
00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:56,224
♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
675
00:48:56,308 --> 00:49:00,604
♪ I will never let you go ♪
676
00:49:01,688 --> 00:49:04,191
♪ Well, who am I to say? ♪
677
00:49:04,274 --> 00:49:08,362
♪ Maybe by now you should know ♪
678
00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:13,784
♪ You got your somebody calling
You think you're somebody, don't you? ♪
679
00:49:13,867 --> 00:49:17,579
♪ I think you're scared
Of keeping somebody close ♪
680
00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:20,082
♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
681
00:49:20,165 --> 00:49:24,294
♪ I will never let you go ♪
682
00:49:26,421 --> 00:49:30,133
♪ Keep away from me ♪
683
00:49:30,217 --> 00:49:34,388
♪ Away from me if you think you must ♪
684
00:49:34,471 --> 00:49:38,433
♪ Keep away from me ♪
685
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:42,354
♪ If you can't withstand my love ♪
686
00:49:42,437 --> 00:49:46,191
♪ Keep away from me ♪
687
00:49:46,274 --> 00:49:50,529
♪ Away from me if you think you must ♪
688
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:56,243
♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
689
00:49:56,326 --> 00:50:00,539
♪ I will never let you go ♪
690
00:50:01,790 --> 00:50:04,251
♪ Well, who am I to say? ♪
691
00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:08,338
♪ Maybe by now you should know ♪
692
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:13,802
♪ You got your somebody calling
You think you're somebody, don't you? ♪
693
00:50:13,885 --> 00:50:17,764
♪ I think you're scared
Of keeping somebody close ♪
694
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:20,183
♪ You'll never stop this flame ♪
695
00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:24,312
♪ I will never let you go ♪
695
00:50:25,305 --> 00:51:25,287
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