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[theme music]

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[bell ringing]

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Good morning, geniuses!

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What an incredible town this is.

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The people are amazin'.

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I was in the supermarket
this mornin'.

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A blind guy comes in
with a seeing-eye dog

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and he's swingin' it
around his head like this.

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I said, "What are you doin'?"
He said, "Havin' a look around."

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[laughing]

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Oh, it was a joke.

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- Hm.
- 'Very funny, Billy.'

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- Oh, so what are you all doin'?
- Studying for midterms.

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- They start Friday.
- I know that.

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But I assumed you,
of all people, would be ready.

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Oh, we're ready, but we're ready
for one of Mr. Moore's midterms.

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We don't know what kind of test
you're gonna give us.

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- Yeah.
- That's true, isn't it?

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But I may be able to do you
a big favor here

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by givin' you a sneak preview.

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Three little essay questions.

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The first one's sneaky,
the second one's tricky

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the third one
is unbelievably difficult.

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I don't even know
the answer myself.

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I was hopin' you'd be able
to help me out here.

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Will these be on the midterms?

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No, but questions like them
will be on the midterms.

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- Then forget it.
- Pardon?

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I said I'm not taking the test.

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- What?
- Alan?

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Okay, but you'll be

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depending very heavily

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on the swimsuit portion
of the competition.

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Uh, you can joke if you like.

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Thank you.

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Let me tell you something.

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When you walked in here,
you were from Scotland.

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I said, "That's okay,
'cause so is Sean Connery"

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who played James Bond

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who believed
in fair play and justice.

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Sure he's bald, but so what?
I've always looked up to him.

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Sean Connery wouldn't
come in here and give us

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some stupid test
right before midterms.

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He'd be out there taking care
of Goldfinger and Oddjob

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and Dr. No.

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So let me show you
what I think of your test.

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[indistinct chatter]

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[instrumental music]

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[instrumental music]

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Well, Alan, while you're
digestin' the questions

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the rest of you can go on
with the test.

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- Yeah.
- Listen..

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This is just a warm-up exercise.

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It won't appear on your record.

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I'm not even gonna grade
this silly thing.

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Oh. Ha-ha-ha!
No, I get it. Fine.

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Sorry, I'm late.
Somebody broke in my locker.

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I had to report it
to the office.

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- Oh, horrible.
- Darlene, that's terrible.

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- What'd they take?
- A couple of books.

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A lipstick and some nail polish.

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Mm, must've been
somebody getting ready

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for a make-up exam.

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You know, it's weird.
They were library books.

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"An Economic Interpretation
Of The Constitution"

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and "The Agony
Of The American Left."

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Thanks, Darlene. We needed
those books for our midterm.

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- That's right.
- Yeah, right.

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Well, it's not my fault.

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I can't believe that people
can just rip you off like that.

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It's creepy.

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So, Billy, did I miss anything?

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Yeah, we're havin' a pop quiz.

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- Alan ate his.
- He aced it?

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No. He ate it.

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[instrumental music]

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(Billy)
Yes.

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- Thank you.
- Um, sir.

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I-I would like to apologize
for my attitude.

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It's just that every test
is very crucial to me.

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You see, I've got my eye
on the prize, as they say.

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What prize?

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(all)
Valedictorian.

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If I get the highest
grade-point average

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I get to make
the big graduation speech

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I get the valedictory medal

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and I get to wear
the purple tassel.

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Ooh! The purple tassel.

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Now I understand.

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So you can see why I'm under

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I'm under
a tremendous amount of pressure.

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Ahem. I'm the pressure.

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I'm this close to knocking
him off, and he knows it.

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- Don't you, Alan?
- Get real, Darlene.

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So what about the rest of you,
you're all

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trailing in the dust
behind these two?

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Arvid.

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Oh, I got a D in woodshop.

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I-I was trying
to make this breadboard

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but somehow I used balsa wood,
so, well..

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The board was easier to cut
than the bread.

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[chuckling]

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I know that I bought pine
for my breadboard

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and somehow
it got switched for balsa.

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I'm not mentioning any names.

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That's ridiculous, Arvid.

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Besides, I'm too busy watchin'
out for Mr. Dirty Tricks here.

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Meanin'?

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Meaning, if somebody wants

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to find those library books

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perhaps they should look
in your locker.

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- Ooh.
- Darlene.

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I've got better things to do

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than to worry about
little Ms. First Runner-Up.

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In your dreams, Alan.

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Listen to you two.

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Is it that important
to be a valedictorian?

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Well, I know this is
a foreign concept to you

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coming from a welfare state.

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Oh!

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But in America,
being number one

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and winning something like
valedictorian is a great thing.

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Oh, sure.
It must come in really handy.

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No, I don't have a reservation

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but I am a valedictorian,
you know?

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Oh, certainly, monsieur.
Step this way.

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You two,
get away from that table.

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There's a valedictorian
in the room.

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I need to speak
to the president right away.

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I'm a valedictorian, you know?

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Oh, Mr. Gorbachev,
could you hold, please?

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There's a valedictorian
on the big red phone.

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Oh, dammit!
We only have one heart left.

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Who will we give it to?

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Bishop Tutu
or the valedictorian?

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[all laughing]

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Good God, the ship is sinking!

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Women, children
and valedictorians first!

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Don't shoot me,
I'm a valedictorian!

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No, you don't need
to wear a condom.

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You're a valedictorian.

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[laughing]

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[bell ringing]

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Get out of here.

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- See you later, Billy.
- 'Bye, Billy.'

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Hey, Alan. You okay?

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Oh, sure. Why do you ask?

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Oh, well, I made light of it,
but you did eat your test.

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I mean, I've heard
of hunger for knowledge

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but that's ridiculous.

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[chuckles]
Oh, uh, that.

152
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No.. I-I was kidding.

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Humor is an important attribute
in a valedictorian.

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Alan, achieving
the highest grade-point average

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in the school
is a stunning achievement.

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I just want you to know
that in your life

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there will be greater things.

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What could be greater?

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Tsk. Oh, I don't know.

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World peace, saving the whale,
havin' babies.

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All sorts of things.
Just don't let it get to you.

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Okay? Relax.

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- Relax?
- Yeah.

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Darlene, those books
are important to every student

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in honors history

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especially now

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right before midterms.

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Yes, but they were stolen
from my locker.

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All I know is they're overdue

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and I have people
waiting for them.

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It's not fair.

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Oh, Ms. Coleman,
what's that supposed to mean?

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You know what I'm talking about.

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You're keeping them away
from the others.

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They were taken from my locker.

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I didn't even get a chance
to read them yet.

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[clicks tongue]
Well, you may get to be
valedictorian

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but they'd better not ask me
for a character reference.

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I can't work through
the Truman Doctrine.

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- Who did those notes?
- That was Alan.

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- Alan, Alan.
- Alan.

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You got the notes
on the Truman Doctrine?

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Uh, no.

184
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What? Alan, we're in
a study group together.

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We each took a book
and outlined it.

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Are you sayin'
that you didn't do yours?

187
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No, I'm sayin'
I'm not giving you my notes.

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- What? We gave you ours!
- Yeah.

189
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Well, I read your notes,
and frankly

190
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I wasn't that impressed.

191
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I don't see why I should
help you by providing you

192
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with my excellent work
in exchange for your drivel.

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- Drivel? Drivel?
- Relax.

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Yes, I know what you're doing.

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You don't wanna see me
be valedictorian

196
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so you are deliberately
giving me second-rate work.

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And so now I'm just gonna
have to go it alone.

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Alan, you are only saying
these things

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because you're under
a lot of stress.

200
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I am not under stress!

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What are you all lookin' at?

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[instrumental music]

203
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,982
[instrumental music]

204
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You can learn a great deal
about American culture

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just by watchin' television.

206
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:55,029
Two hundred channels,
twenty-four hours a day

207
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,496
pumping out programs
and trying to sell ya stuff.

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Well, I switched it on,
I saw a beautiful blond

209
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,667
selling stainless-steel
kitchen knives for $15.

210
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,380
I changed over,
and there's another man

211
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,630
trying to sell me eternal life
for $10.

212
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,264
I settled
for the kitchen knives.

213
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,220
The guarantee was much better.

214
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,141
Plus, they threw in
a melon baller.

215
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:18,139
And I don't like evangelists.
I never have.

216
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,432
They don't know enough
about heaven for me.

217
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,686
You watch any evangelist
in television

218
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he knows the most minute details
about hell.

219
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,728
He knows every nook and cranny.

220
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,685
They're always on
about how awful hell is.

221
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,195
You can only assume they've been
given a guided tour.

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00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,778
[all laughing]

223
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,584
But when they start talkin'
about pornography

224
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:41,078
prostitution,
adultery, weird goings-on

225
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:44,502
and thumpings in the night
and motel rooms

226
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,002
you had better listen

227
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:49,343
because they are talkin'
from experience.

228
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,010
Where did they get all
the action? That's the miracle.

229
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,049
Look at Jim and Tammy Bakker.

230
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,473
Why doesn't she get him
out of jail?

231
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She could easily smuggle in
a saw or a file

232
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under her make-up.

233
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Two-thousand years
of Christianity

234
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,885
in Europe.
What did they produce?

235
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,806
The most stunning
Gothic cathedrals

236
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,316
on the planet.

237
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,817
What did Jim and Tammy give you?

238
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,319
A water slide in North Carolina.

239
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:15,031
And people keep sendin'
the money!

240
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That's the crazy thing.

241
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:18,407
If they could heal stupidity

242
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they would be out of business
in the morning.

243
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,002
[bell ringing]

244
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,460
Oh, there we go.

245
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:29,209
Good luck with those midterms.
I know you can do it!

246
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,253
- Thanks a lot.
- Bye, Billy.

247
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,336
- See you later, Billy.
- Bye.

248
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,387
- Alan, how are you feelin'?
- Just great, sir.

249
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Great, great, great, great,
great, great, great.

250
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,850
That's great.

251
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,191
[instrumental music]

252
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,974
- Alan.
- Sir?

253
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,885
What are you doin'?

254
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,024
Takin' a break. Why?

255
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,526
Well, first of all, there's
no smoking in the library.

256
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,107
Second of all, there's no
smoking in the entire school.

257
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:21,696
Third, smoking can kill you.

258
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,621
And fourth, you don't smoke.

259
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,956
What's your point?

260
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,090
Fifth, you have crib notes
written all over your matchbook

261
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,798
and the lid
of your flip-top box.

262
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,300
Why would you think that?

263
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,721
Because you also have them
on your belt

264
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,811
your shirt, your tie
and God knows where else.

265
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,638
That's ridiculous, I'm..
How could you tell?

266
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,807
I think it's the answer
to question six.

267
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,186
"Dry clean only."

268
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:59,533
[instrumental music]

269
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,738
[bell ringing]

270
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,156
Morning, geniuses!

271
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,664
- Morning, Billy.
- Good morning, Billy.

272
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,336
- Good morning, everyone.
- Yeah.

273
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:18,587
About what happened last Friday,
I would just like to say

274
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,421
I've never done anything
like that before

275
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:23,176
and, obviously,
will never do it again.

276
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,679
I would like to apologize
to everyone and to Billy

277
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,482
and say that I'm available
at your convenience

278
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,477
for a make-up test.

279
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,231
Well, now that we have that
behind us

280
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:35,901
uh, let's get on
with our work.

281
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,240
[indistinct chatter]

282
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,449
Alan, are you out of your mind?

283
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,738
- Yeah.
- 'Alan.'

284
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,201
- Why?
- "Why?"

285
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,701
You just cheated
on a midterm, man.

286
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,162
You've been cold busted.
If you play, you gotta pay.

287
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,583
- That's right, Alan.
- Yeah. I mean, come on, Billy.

288
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,422
What are you gonna do
about this, man?

289
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:56,497
No, no, the question isn't
what I'm gonna do about it.

290
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,754
What are you gonna do about it?

291
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:59,955
It's an automatic F.
It's an automatic F.

292
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,165
- Right?
- Right, right.

293
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,886
I could do that.
I might do that.

294
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,677
You're supposed to turn him in
to Dr. Samuels.

295
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,971
I could do that, too,
but first let us consider

296
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,725
who is the injured party here.

297
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,727
Is it me? Is it Dr. Samuels?

298
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:16,019
I'll tell you who
the injured party is. It's us.

299
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,233
He tried to gain
an unfair advantage over us.

300
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,034
- Yeah!
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

301
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,857
All of you, what about me?

302
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:23,822
I'm the one
most affected by this.

303
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,413
I mean, if Alan gets to take
a make-up test

304
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,027
and then he gets to be
valedictorian by cheating

305
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,735
well, that would be...cheating!

306
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,366
You want cheating,
how about keeping

307
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,663
certain history books away

308
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,996
from all of the rest of us?

309
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,130
- 'Yes.'
- Yeah. That's true.

310
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,836
They were stolen
from my locker!

311
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,708
No. Stolen schmollen.

312
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,505
Okay, we've established
who the injured parties are.

313
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,680
Now you have to decide
what are you gonna do about him.

314
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,850
What are we supposed to do?
Have a trial here in class?

315
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,470
- Yeah.
- No, no, no.

316
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:55,386
You don't need to have a trial.
You already know he's guilty.

317
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:59,316
What you have to decide is
do I give him an automatic F?

318
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,026
Do I give him another midterm?

319
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,686
A jury of his peers
deciding his fate.

320
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:08,156
And the decision
must be unanimous.

321
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:11,038
I love it. Twelve angry nerds.

322
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,042
How about it, Alan,
are you gonna put yourself

323
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,459
in the hands of your classmates?

324
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,037
Well..

325
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,881
...I look around this room
and I see friends

326
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,883
whom I've known and loved
since kindergarten.

327
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,676
I see newer faces whom
I've welcomed with open arms

328
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,851
a-and I see classmates
who are ready to

329
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:37,771
well, forgive and forget.

330
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,401
You give me a rash, Alan.

331
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,018
- Yeah.
- Me, too.

332
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,855
Maybe I see a pack of wild dogs.

333
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,947
Aristotle, you are the foreman.

334
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,987
The defendant and I
will now leave the room.

335
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,582
Come on, Alan.

336
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,408
Okay, let's vote.

337
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,044
Are we gonna flunk him
or forgive him?

338
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,712
- Flunk.
- Flunk.

339
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,250
Forgive.

340
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,923
- Oh, come on..
- Simone, are you out of your..

341
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,633
What Alan did was,
well, I wouldn't do it

342
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,505
but it is understandable.

343
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,721
I mean, with all this pressure
and concentration

344
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,523
on getting good grades,
getting into college

345
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:18,307
getting ahead,
all the competition

346
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,602
it can make you crazy.

347
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,935
Get out of here. Listen, I got
all the problems that Alan does.

348
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,692
The pressure,
the after-school job

349
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,613
and a mother who drives me
like a Roman chariot.

350
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,403
Alex..

351
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:31,865
[speaking in foreign language]

352
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:33,908
Straight As.

353
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:37,501
Hey, I deal with that,
and I don't cheat.

354
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,918
However, I do fool around.

355
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,088
Come on, guys.
How about a little compassion?

356
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,628
Simone has got a point.

357
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,381
I mean, Alan just freaked out

358
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,843
about this valedictorian thing.

359
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,432
And who wouldn't, with Darlene
in your face all the time?

360
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:54,758
Oh, cry me a river, Viki.

361
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,812
Yeah? Well, I change my vote.

362
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,890
I say we give him
another chance.

363
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:00,765
[clamoring]

364
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,731
Hey, hey, hey, nine to two

365
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,061
in favor of flunking him.

366
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,186
[clamoring]

367
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,282
You know,
I've never seen anyone

368
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:10,317
botching up an attempt
to cheating as badly as you did

369
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,162
with the possible exception
of Gary Hart.

370
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,294
Remember, he was
the Democrat's big star.

371
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:18,866
Everybody was countin' on him
to beat George Bush.

372
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,252
So what did he do?

373
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,249
He went to the Bahamas

374
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,670
and had a picture taken
in a saloon

375
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,918
with his girlfriend on his knee,
a drink in his hand

376
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,880
and T-shirt that said
"Monkey Business."

377
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,666
What does that tell you?

378
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,586
Vote Republican?

379
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,471
[clamoring]

380
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:36,852
Come on, come on, come on now.

381
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,969
Now, hey, I-I've never cheated,
but I'll tell you this.

382
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,596
If I wanted to cheat, I could
come up with ways so ingenious

383
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:44,403
they haven't even invented the
technology that could catch me.

384
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,898
Well, I could catch you, Dennis.

385
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:47,069
Oh, yeah?

386
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,437
You sure didn't catch me
in sixth grade

387
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,244
when I copied all your..

388
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:53,237
- I'll change my vote.
- Oh, Dennis. You, too?

389
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,990
You know, you know what,
if I can put up

390
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,832
with these years
of being backstabbed

391
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,447
and bamboozled by Dennis

392
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,164
I can forgive Alan
this one mistake.

393
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,164
- Oh!
- 'Okay, hey.'

394
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,076
- Seven to four.
- 'Alright.'

395
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,674
I wanna change my vote, too.

396
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:06,919
- Jasper, why?
- Why?

397
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,420
- You cheated?
- Almost.

398
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,632
Once I was sick and I missed
a couple of weeks of chemistry

399
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,633
and I needed an A, and, well

400
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:16,345
I wrote all the atomic weights
on my sneakers.

401
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,926
Unfortunately,
I wore them to my French test.

402
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,482
'After that I changed my mind.
I didn't do it.'

403
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:25,397
But I came close.
I think Alan was kinda like me.

404
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,817
- Only, he went too far.
- Yeah.

405
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,026
Jasper's got a point,
I wanna change my vote

406
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:34,198
but only if I don't have
to share a personal story.

407
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,778
(Darlene)
'Oh, my God, Eric.'

408
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,663
Alright, six to five
in favor of forgiveness.

409
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,581
Come on, what's the matter
with you people?

410
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,411
Alan cheated. Now, I--

411
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,576
- Excuse me, Darlene.
- One minute, Ms. Meara.

412
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,415
Now, I know
that I play hardball

413
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,130
but at least I play fair.

414
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,300
Oh-ho! Fair?

415
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,458
You kept those history books

416
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,126
away from all of us
with some cockamamie story

417
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,295
about somebody stealing them!

418
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,433
- Excuse me.
- One minute, Ms. Meara.

419
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,680
And I know, in here,
you sabotaged my breadboard!

420
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,103
Arvid, who cares
about your stupid breadboard?

421
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,193
People with bread
not yet sliced!

422
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:10,939
Arvid, I did not stash
those books!

423
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,573
It was obviously Alan!

424
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,489
- You mean, these books?
- Yes, those books! Oh..

425
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,319
We found your book back
in the girls' bathroom, Darlene.

426
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:22,164
I'm sorry, your make-up's gone,
but the library books are here.

427
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,162
- Thank you, Ms. Meara.
- Mm-hmm.

428
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,874
Now, behave.

429
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,709
[chuckles]
Darlene, uh

430
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,300
I'm sorry about the books,
not the breadboard.

431
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,837
Yeah, sorry.
I guess I freaked out, too.

432
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,052
- 'Sorry.'
- Sorry, Darlene.

433
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,932
I just assumed that it was Alan.

434
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,559
I mean, I'm as guilty
as anybody else.

435
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:46,097
See, it's the pressure.
It can get to all of us.

436
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,353
- I change my vote.
- Alright!

437
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,015
Well, that's nice, Darlene.

438
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,773
But that still
doesn't make it unanimous.

439
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,315
- 'Oh.'
- Come on.

440
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,238
You know, there are people
who think that Gary Hart

441
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,857
was so frightened to the
prospect of being president

442
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,525
that he subconsciously
wanted to get caught.

443
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:03,584
His method was just
a bit more fun than yours.

444
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,409
- Than mine?
- Yeah.

445
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,174
You wanted out, so in order
to get a bit of relief

446
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,997
you did the unspeakable.

447
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,172
You really think
I wanted to fail?

448
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,881
No, I don't think
you wanted to fail

449
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,301
but I do think
you wanted a rest.

450
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,670
You were tired of the rat race.

451
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,426
And you're not very good
at being a rat, are you?

452
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,679
Anyway, for what it's worth

453
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,560
I hope they give you
a second chance

454
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,847
because I don't think
you'll do it again.

455
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,101
But then,
it's not up to me, is it?

456
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,404
It's up to them.

457
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,767
[door opens]

458
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,523
You can come in now.

459
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,033
Well, have you reached
a verdict?

460
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,874
We've decided unanimously

461
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:45,990
to give Alan a second chance

462
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,866
and for you to give him
a make-up exam.

463
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,923
Oh, thank you! Thank you!

464
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,877
But, but, but, Alan,
we've also decided

465
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,588
that even though you do have
the highest grades

466
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,758
we still don't think
you should be valedictorian

467
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,757
because we don't feel
that you're good enough

468
00:20:58,799 --> 00:20:59,969
to represent the best of us.

469
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:02,798
- 'That's right. Mm-hmm.'
- What?

470
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,604
Not be valedictorian?

471
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,678
- We want you to withdraw.
- 'That's right.'

472
00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:10,104
- Withdraw?
- Yeah, Alan.

473
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:12,943
What a relief, eh, Alan?

474
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,517
Yeah, sure. Some relief.

475
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:18,235
Some relief knowing
I'm not gonna be..

476
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:22,319
Well, actually,
it feels great!

477
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:26,294
Well, it doesn't feel great,
it-it feels pretty good.

478
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,871
Actually, it is a relief.

479
00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,173
Yeah, Alan, I'm relieved, too.

480
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,417
Now I'm a shoo-in
for valedictorian.

481
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,839
- Oh..
- Oh, I don't know, Darlene.

482
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,548
I just checked
our grade-point averages

483
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:42,428
and I'm only one-tenth
of a point behind you.

484
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,637
[indistinct chatter]

485
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,008
Well, Sarah. Sarah, Sarah.

486
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:48,774
You're not actually going
to compete with me, are you?

487
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,477
Oh, you know me, Darlene.
I just do my best.

488
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,475
You people are amazing.

489
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:57,982
I have never seen
such compassion

490
00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:01,485
and Solomon-like wisdom
in the pursuit of justice.

491
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:05,028
What do you say, as a project,
we all go and get on a plane

492
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:08,413
and go and solve
Northern Islands?

493
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,332
- Yeah!
- South Africa!

494
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:12,750
- Yeah!
- South Korea!

495
00:22:12,789 --> 00:22:15,539
- Yeah!
- South Bronx!

496
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,504
(all)
'Yeah.'

497
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:20,214
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