1 00:00:10,681 --> 00:00:12,181 GOOD MORNING, MOM. 2 00:00:12,183 --> 00:00:13,783 OH. GABE, HONEY. WE NEED TO TALK. 3 00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,154 MOM, I DIDN'T DO IT! THAT PRINCIPAL'S OUT TO GET ME. 4 00:00:18,049 --> 00:00:19,719 IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PRINCIPAL. 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,720 MOM, I DIDN'T DO IT! THAT TEACHER IS OUT TO GET ME. 6 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,534 GABE! YOU'RE NOT IN TROUBLE. 7 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,356 THEN WHY DO WE NEED TO TALK? 8 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,530 WELL, IT'S ABOUT YOUR DAD. 9 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:35,812 NOW YOU'RE AWARE THAT HE OCCASIONALLY SNORES, RIGHT? 10 00:00:35,806 --> 00:00:39,336 MOM, THE PEOPLE ACROSS THE STREET ARE AWARE. 11 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:44,352 CAR ALARMS ARE AWARE. 12 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,515 KANSAS IS AWARE. 13 00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:50,119 WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I'M USED TO HIS SNORING 14 00:00:50,121 --> 00:00:51,781 'CAUSE I GREW UP NEXT TO TRAIN TRACKS. 15 00:00:53,824 --> 00:00:55,694 BUT YOUR FATHER'S BEEN WAKING TOBY UP 16 00:00:55,686 --> 00:00:56,826 AND I'M TRYING TO GET THE BABY TO SLEEP 17 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,087 THROUGH THE NIGHT. 18 00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:00,760 HOW DOES THIS INVOLVE ME? 19 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,591 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TEMPORARILY 20 00:01:02,593 --> 00:01:04,803 CHANGE OUR SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS. 21 00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:06,665 MAN, YOU'RE PUTTING TOBY IN WITH ME? 22 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,837 NOT EXACTLY. 23 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,200 HEY, ROOMIE! 24 00:01:13,144 --> 00:01:16,084 ( rock music playing ) 25 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,676 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 26 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,448 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 27 00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:22,310 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 28 00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:24,223 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 29 00:01:24,215 --> 00:01:25,615 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 30 00:01:25,616 --> 00:01:27,616 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 31 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:32,320 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 32 00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:35,503 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 33 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,496 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 34 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,198 ♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 35 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,870 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 36 00:01:41,872 --> 00:01:43,702 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 37 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,514 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 38 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,436 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 39 00:01:48,439 --> 00:01:50,679 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 40 00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:54,521 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 41 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:58,445 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 42 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,750 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 43 00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:09,699 ( doorbell rings ) 44 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,561 ( slight gasp ) THERE HE IS. 45 00:02:12,563 --> 00:02:15,543 MR. VICTOR DELESEUR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 46 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,736 THE SMARTEST GUY AT SOUTH HIGH. 47 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:18,838 WHAT DO YOU WANT, TEDDY? 48 00:02:20,911 --> 00:02:23,271 WHAT? DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO WANT SOMETHING? 49 00:02:23,274 --> 00:02:25,324 CAN'T I JUST INVITE YOU OVER 50 00:02:25,316 --> 00:02:26,546 AS A FRIEND TO ENJOY SOME-- 51 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,877 OKAY, SO HERE IT IS. 52 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,420 UM, I'M TAKING THE S.A.T. THIS WEEKEND 53 00:02:31,422 --> 00:02:33,552 AND I REALLY WANT TO ACE IT. 54 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,234 AND I YOU MY HELP, SINCE YOU KNOW 55 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,226 I SCORED A PERFECT 2400. 56 00:02:37,228 --> 00:02:39,388 THEY ACTUALLY DID A FEATURE STORY ON ME 57 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,890 IN "OVERACHIEVERS MONTHLY." 58 00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,603 YEAH YEAH, I KNOW. I CUT IT OUT 59 00:02:44,595 --> 00:02:46,235 AND PUT IT IN MY SCRAPBOOK. 60 00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:48,638 - REALLY?! - NO. 61 00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:52,671 SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY? WILL YOU HELP ME? 62 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,383 UNDER ONE CONDITION... 63 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,505 IF I TUTOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO AGREE 64 00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:59,277 TO DO WHATEVER I SAY NO MATTER WHAT. 65 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,450 FINE. 66 00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:02,381 NOW JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT IN RETURN. 67 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,623 DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO WANT SOMETHING? 68 00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:07,616 CAN'T I JUST DO IT OUT OF THE GOODNESS-- 69 00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:08,758 OKAY, HERE IT IS. 70 00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:12,661 I WANT YOU TO COME TO THE PARK WITH ME THIS SATURDAY. 71 00:03:12,663 --> 00:03:14,673 WAIT. YOU MEAN LIKE A DATE? 72 00:03:14,665 --> 00:03:17,265 I WOULD NEVER ASK YOU OUT. 73 00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:18,768 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND 74 00:03:18,769 --> 00:03:20,299 AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, 75 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,931 I HAVE CERTAIN INTELLECTUAL STANDARDS. 76 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,384 INSULTED, YET RELIEVED. 77 00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:28,407 SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO AT THE PARK? 78 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,709 I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT CHESS MATCH 79 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,880 AND I'D LIKE YOU TO WATCH. 80 00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:32,581 - THAT'S IT? - THAT'S IT. 81 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:34,593 THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME SORT OF CATCH. 82 00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:36,485 NO CATCH. JUST CHESS. 83 00:03:36,487 --> 00:03:38,987 IS CHESS A EUPHEMISM FOR SOMETHING? 84 00:03:38,989 --> 00:03:43,489 LIKE SOME SORT OF WEIRD COMIC BOOK ROLE-PLAYING THING? 85 00:03:45,296 --> 00:03:46,356 NO. 86 00:03:46,357 --> 00:03:48,227 OKAY. FINE. 87 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,398 IF YOU TUTOR ME, I'LL COME TO THE PARK 88 00:03:50,401 --> 00:03:52,231 AND I'LL WATCH YOU PLAY "CHESS." 89 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,874 NO, NOT "CHESS." 90 00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,436 JUST CHESS. 91 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:58,908 YOU MEAN, "CHESS." 92 00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:02,471 NO! NOT "CHESS." 93 00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:03,973 JUST CHESS! 94 00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:05,724 THIS MAY BE THE TOUGHEST TUTORING I'VE EVER DONE. 95 00:04:11,382 --> 00:04:13,252 ( baby-talk ) OH, THAT IS SO YUMMY. 96 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,333 ISN'T IT GOOD? 97 00:04:15,326 --> 00:04:19,326 CHARLIE, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CUTER BABY IN YOUR LIFE? 98 00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:20,360 - YES. - WHO? 99 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,291 ME. 100 00:04:24,295 --> 00:04:26,265 YOU ARE YOUR MOTHER'S DAUGHTER. 101 00:04:28,299 --> 00:04:29,969 HI, MOM. HI, CHARLIE. 102 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,470 PJ, I NEED YOUR HELP. 103 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,482 SURE, MOM. WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR? 104 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,445 IT'S A FUN LITTLE WAY OF SAYING, 105 00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:36,846 "WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?" 106 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,379 PROCEED. 107 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,711 I REALLY NEED TO PUT TOBY DOWN FOR A NAP. 108 00:04:42,713 --> 00:04:44,423 BUT CHARLIE WANTS ME TO READ TO HER. 109 00:04:44,415 --> 00:04:45,315 CAN YOU DO IT? 110 00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:46,716 OH, YEAH. SURE. I GOT TIME FOR A 111 00:04:46,717 --> 00:04:49,487 QUICK LITTLE-- WHOA! HELLO. 112 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,420 CHARLIE WANTS THIS BOOK? 113 00:04:51,422 --> 00:04:53,062 WOULD YOU RATHER CHANGE TOBY'S DIAPER? 114 00:04:53,063 --> 00:04:54,063 COME ON, BUDDY. 115 00:04:55,526 --> 00:04:57,366 "THE LITTLEST UNICORN." 116 00:04:58,969 --> 00:05:00,799 "BY EMILY PRETTYBLOSSOM." 117 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,471 - YAY. - OKAY. CHAPTER ONE. 118 00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:06,384 "SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT UNICORNS AREN'T REAL, 119 00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:07,377 BUT THEY ARE. 120 00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,378 THEY HAIL FROM A MAGICAL PLACE 121 00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:11,680 CALLED BUTTERFLYLANDIA." 122 00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:14,392 OH, BOY. 123 00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:16,915 KEEP GOING. 124 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,447 "THIS IS THE STORY OF ONE OF THOSE UNICORNS, 125 00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:20,920 THE LITTLEST ONE OF ALL. 126 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,921 HER NAME WAS JUNIE. HER REAL NAME, THAT IS. 127 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,464 HER MEAN BROTHERS CALLED HER 128 00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:26,596 'JUNIE THE PUNY UNI.'" 129 00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:27,727 THAT'S NOT VERY NICE. 130 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:28,898 NO, IT ISN'T. 131 00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:30,059 SHH. 132 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:31,900 "ONE DAY, JUNIE AND HER FAMILY 133 00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:33,732 WENT TO THE MEADOW FOR A PICNIC. 134 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,074 THE MEADOW WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE DARK FOREST, 135 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,407 A PLACE JUNIE WAS FORBIDDEN TO GO. 136 00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:41,440 BUT HER CURIOSITY GOT THE BETTER OF HER." 137 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,372 - UH-OH. - I'M THIRSTY. 138 00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:45,684 SUCK IT UP. JUNIE'S IN TROUBLE. 139 00:05:53,384 --> 00:05:55,034 SO, WHAT'S THE ANSWER? 140 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:57,555 ( sighing ) UH... 141 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,388 "C"? 142 00:05:58,389 --> 00:06:00,459 NO NO NO, IT'S "B"! 143 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,631 WELL, I WAS CLOSE. 144 00:06:03,093 --> 00:06:05,473 TEDDY, THIS IS THE S.A.T.s, 145 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,436 NOT HORSESHOES! 146 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:08,998 YOU KNOW WHAT? 147 00:06:08,999 --> 00:06:10,669 WE'VE BEEN GOING AT THIS FOR A WHILE. 148 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,141 MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP. 149 00:06:12,142 --> 00:06:14,512 STOP? BUT THE TEST IS SATURDAY. 150 00:06:14,505 --> 00:06:16,005 YOU CAN'T STOP NOW. 151 00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:17,576 LET'S MOVE ON TO MATH. 152 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,448 - IN A PARALLELOGRAM-- - YEAH, VICTOR. 153 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:20,750 I DON'T THINK I CAN STUDY ANYMORE. 154 00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:22,551 I FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN IS FULL. 155 00:06:22,553 --> 00:06:24,523 THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT BRAINS, 156 00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:25,855 THEY NEVER GET FULL. 157 00:06:25,856 --> 00:06:27,616 EVEN SMALLER ONES LIKE YOURS. 158 00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:29,788 OKAY. 159 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,420 I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, MY FRIENDS CONSIDER ME VERY SMART. 160 00:06:33,424 --> 00:06:35,134 YOU MEAN LIKE IVY? 161 00:06:37,428 --> 00:06:39,768 WELL, AND OTHER FRIENDS. 162 00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,670 YOU MEAN LIKE SPENCER? 163 00:06:45,075 --> 00:06:46,075 LET'S GET BACK TO WORK. 164 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,753 "AND AS THE SUN SET ON THE DARK FOREST, 165 00:06:55,746 --> 00:06:56,916 JUNIE REALIZED SHE WOULD 166 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,447 HAVE TO SURVIVE THE NIGHT ALONE." 167 00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,590 ARE YOU SCARED? 168 00:07:01,592 --> 00:07:02,952 NO. 169 00:07:02,953 --> 00:07:05,533 ( voice trembling ) ME EITHER. 170 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,057 OKAY, BEDTIME. 171 00:07:09,059 --> 00:07:11,499 FIVE MORE MINUTES. WE WANNA FINISH THIS CHAPTER. 172 00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:14,612 I'M SORRY, HONEY. BUT CHARLIE NEEDS TO GO TO BED. 173 00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:16,605 THAT'S THE KIND OF PARENTING THAT DROVE JUNIE AWAY 174 00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,907 FROM THE GREEN PASTURES OF BUTTERFLYLANDIA. 175 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,441 OKAY. WELL, IT'S BEDTIME 176 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,453 AND I'M FROM THE LAND OF "I-DON'T-CARE-IA." 177 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,978 COME ON, CHARLIE. 178 00:07:28,979 --> 00:07:30,649 AND DON'T WORRY. I WON'T READ AHEAD WITHOUT YOU. 179 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,821 PROMISE? 180 00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:33,752 PROMISE. GOOD NIGHT. 181 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:34,794 GOOD NIGHT. 182 00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:46,796 I SAID GOOD NIGHT. 183 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,140 ( groaning ) OH. 184 00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:58,207 GABE. 185 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,649 YEAH, DAD? 186 00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:02,581 YOU AWAKE? 187 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,583 NO, DAD. 188 00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:08,187 YOU WANNA TALK? 189 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,558 NO, DAD. 190 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,173 YOUR MOM USUALLY LETS ME TALK ABOUT MY DAY A LITTLE. 191 00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:18,066 IT HELPS ME FALL ASLEEP. 192 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,731 ( sighing ) OKAY, DAD. 193 00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,583 HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 194 00:08:24,575 --> 00:08:28,175 WELL, I WAS OVER AT MRS. FISHER'S TODAY... 195 00:08:28,178 --> 00:08:29,178 WORKIN'. 196 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:35,152 ( sighs ) HAD TO KNOCK DOWN SO MANY SPIDERWEBS. 197 00:08:35,145 --> 00:08:36,645 SHE FINALLY CAME UP TO ME AND SHE SAID, 198 00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:38,517 "BOB, DID YOU MISS A WEEK?" I SAID, 199 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,148 "NO, YOU JUST HAVE A LOT OF SPIDERS." 200 00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:46,525 GOOD NIGHT. 201 00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:52,531 GABE? 202 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,662 ( exhales ) 203 00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:57,805 DAD, IF YOU CAN'T SLEEP, JUST WATCH SOME TV. 204 00:08:57,808 --> 00:08:59,668 BUT IT'S BEDTIME. 205 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,571 IS IT? 206 00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:04,583 - ( TV turns on ) - WHOA! 207 00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,645 WHOA WHOA! 208 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,947 TV AFTER BEDTIME? 209 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,979 HOW OFTEN YOU DO THIS? 210 00:09:10,981 --> 00:09:12,651 UM... 211 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,593 THIS IS, UH-- THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, DAD. 212 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:21,730 NOW, IF THE SEMICIRCLE ARC "AB" 213 00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:23,762 HAS THE LENGTH SIX TIMES PI, 214 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,904 AND THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF THE CIRCLE 215 00:09:24,895 --> 00:09:25,895 WITH THE DIAMETER "BC" 216 00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:27,896 IS EIGHT TIMES PI... 217 00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:31,039 WHAT IS THE AREA OF THE SHADED REGION?! 218 00:09:32,603 --> 00:09:34,613 UM... 219 00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:35,605 "B." 220 00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:37,776 - WRONG! - OH! 221 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,648 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 222 00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,980 I'M GIVING YOU A PUNISHMENT TO TRAIN YOUR BRAIN. 223 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:46,362 VICTOR, I'M NOT A CAT. 224 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,688 WELL, OF COURSE NOT. 225 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,060 A CAT COULD HAVE SOLVED THAT EQUATION. 226 00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:55,674 IT'S MIDNIGHT. WE'RE DONE WORKING. 227 00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:57,996 WE'RE DONE? JUST BECAUSE... 228 00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,168 ( mocking ) "IT'S MIDNIGHT." 229 00:09:59,169 --> 00:10:00,699 ( fake sobbing ) 230 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,702 YES, THAT IS WHAT I SAID. 231 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,884 JUST WITHOUT THE HURTFUL ATTITUDE. 232 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,077 AM I WASTING MY TIME HERE? 233 00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:10,909 DO YOU WANT THIS?! I DON'T THINK YOU WANT THIS! 234 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,611 I DON'T WANT THIS. 235 00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,224 SIT DOWN AND OPEN THAT WORKBOOK. 236 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,045 THAT'S IT. WE'RE DONE. YOU'RE FIRED. 237 00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:18,387 - FIRED? - YUP. 238 00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:20,218 TERMINATED, DISMISSED, 239 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,650 SHOWN THE DOOR. 240 00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:23,122 OOH, WE'RE WORKING WITH SYNONYMS. 241 00:10:24,394 --> 00:10:26,704 YES, WE ARE. NOW GET OUT! 242 00:10:26,697 --> 00:10:27,997 EXIT! 243 00:10:27,998 --> 00:10:29,658 SCRAM! 244 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,336 MAN, WATCHING INFOMERCIALS. 245 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:42,709 I'VE GOT A KERNEL STUCK IN MY TOOTH. 246 00:10:42,713 --> 00:10:44,823 DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS. 247 00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:46,815 SHH SHH SHH SHH. 248 00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:49,718 FOOTSTEPS! SHUT IT DOWN! 249 00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:02,660 OH, SURE. IN HERE YOU DON'T SNORE. 250 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,972 ( snoring ) 251 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,866 THERE IT IS. 252 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,698 3:10 TO YUMA. 253 00:11:15,706 --> 00:11:17,706 ( air horn blows ) 254 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,210 RISE AND SHINE. 255 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,293 VICTOR, I FIRED YOU. 256 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,285 WRONG. 257 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,956 THE CORRECT ANSWER IS "C"-- 258 00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,788 I CAN'T BE FIRED. 259 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,820 ( air horn blows ) 260 00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:47,476 VICTOR. 261 00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:49,177 IT'S 6:00 IN THE MORNING. 262 00:11:49,179 --> 00:11:51,309 WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE? 263 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,381 WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE? 264 00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:57,223 GEE, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE AT HOME... ASLEEP, 265 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,917 CLUTCHING SOME KIND OF A SCI-FI ACTION FIGURE. 266 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,322 TEDDY, YOU AGREED TO DO WHATEVER I SAID. 267 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,864 NO MATTER WHAT. 268 00:12:05,856 --> 00:12:07,296 WELCOME TO "NO MATTER WHAT"! 269 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,399 ARE YOU CRAZY? 270 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,060 ( chuckles ) CRAZY ABOUT LEARNIN'. 271 00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:13,402 AND THAT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU'LL EVER HEAR ME 272 00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:14,403 DROP A "G." 273 00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:19,066 LISTEN CLOSELY BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO DROP A "G." 274 00:12:19,069 --> 00:12:20,309 "O" AWAY! 275 00:12:22,272 --> 00:12:23,342 THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS GOOD. 276 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,823 YOU'RE FRUSTRATED, 277 00:12:24,815 --> 00:12:26,275 YOU'RE ANGRY, YOU'RE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. 278 00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:29,218 EXCUSE ME? 279 00:12:29,219 --> 00:12:31,349 THIS HAPPENS WHENEVER I'M WORKING WITH SOMEONE. 280 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,481 THERE ALWAYS COMES A MOMENT WHEN THEY WANT TO QUIT. 281 00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:37,033 ACTUALLY, YOUR BREAKING POINT CAME LATER THAN USUAL. 282 00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:39,127 WHICH MEANS THAT YOU'RE ONE OF MY MOST PROMISING STUDENTS. 283 00:12:41,231 --> 00:12:42,761 REALLY? 284 00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,074 OH, YES. 285 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,066 I AM VERY IMPRESSED. 286 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,138 YOU'RE A STAR, TEDDY. 287 00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:50,999 OH. ( laughs ) 288 00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:53,001 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT STAR. 289 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,105 IS MY STAR READY TO GET TO WORK NOW? 290 00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:59,107 ( bashfully ) WOULD YOU STOP THAT? 291 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,512 I'M GONNA GET DRESSED. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 292 00:13:06,056 --> 00:13:08,116 STAR. ( chuckles ) 293 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:17,827 HEY, MOM. 294 00:13:17,828 --> 00:13:18,998 HI. 295 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,044 HELP ME OUT HERE. 296 00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,137 I'M MEZRAB. 297 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,281 HELP ME OUT A LITTLE MORE. 298 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:37,315 I'M MEZRAB MAGICPENNY, 299 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,847 THE LEGENDARY HALF-WIZARD, HALF-UNICORN, 300 00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,490 WHO JUNIE MEETS IN THE DARK FOREST. 301 00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:45,302 I THOUGHT THIS WOULD HELP MAKE THE STORY COME ALIVE. 302 00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:46,555 FOR CHARLIE? 303 00:13:46,556 --> 00:13:49,256 YEAH, OKAY. YEAH. 304 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,000 HONEY, I'M SORRY. 305 00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:53,132 CHARLIE'S STILL SLEEPING. 306 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,463 WELL, SHOULD I WAKE HER UP? 307 00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:56,144 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 308 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,136 LET'S WAKE UP TOBY TOO. MAKE IT A PARTY. 309 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,268 - OKAY! - NO! GET BACK IN HERE! 310 00:14:01,471 --> 00:14:03,011 I'M KIDDING. 311 00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,143 YOU CAN'T READ TO CHARLIE THIS MORNING. 312 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,154 SHE'S GOT PRESCHOOL. 313 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,015 AW, MAN. 314 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,248 WELL, CAN I AT LEAST HAVE SOME BREAKFAST? 315 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,580 SURE. 316 00:14:11,581 --> 00:14:13,151 HAVE A BAGEL. 317 00:14:17,287 --> 00:14:19,327 WHAT, NO CREAM CHEESE? 318 00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:26,965 ( chanting ) IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEN LEAVE IT BLANK. 319 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,967 WHEN YOU SCORE HIGH THERE'S ME TO THANK! 320 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,340 ( chanting ) GEOMETRY IS REALLY A BREEZE. 321 00:14:32,342 --> 00:14:35,052 RIGHT TRIANGLES ARE 90 DEGREES. 322 00:14:35,045 --> 00:14:37,105 SOUND OFF! ONE, TWO! 323 00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:40,107 PI IS 3.14. 324 00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:42,050 COME ON NOW, LET'S HEAR THAT VOICE. 325 00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:44,112 NEVER GUESS ON MULTIPLE CHOICE. 326 00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:45,964 GO AHEAD AND DO ONE MORE! 327 00:14:45,956 --> 00:14:47,956 EIGHT SQUARED IS 64! 328 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,020 NEXT TIME WE SHOULD TAKE A CAR. 329 00:14:52,022 --> 00:14:54,022 ( panting ) I'M NOT USED TO RUNNING THIS FAR. 330 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,297 ( rock music playing ) 331 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,531 ( music stops ) 332 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,541 WHAT TIME IS IT? 333 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,542 IT'S 1:00 IN THE MORNING. 334 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,084 ALSO KNOWN AS STORYTIME. 335 00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:48,377 OKAY, WHERE WERE WE? 336 00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:49,418 OH, YEAH. 337 00:15:49,419 --> 00:15:51,579 JUNIE WAS AT THE CAVE OF SHADOWS. 338 00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:54,251 "AS JUNIE ENTERED THE CAVE, SHE WAS SCARED, 339 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,134 BUT ALSO VERY CURIOUS. 340 00:15:56,126 --> 00:15:58,126 SHE CREPT AHEAD CAUTIOUSLY." 341 00:15:58,128 --> 00:15:59,258 I'M TIRED. 342 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,259 YEAH, WELL, SO WAS JUNIE. BUT SHE KEEPS GOING. 343 00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:06,273 ALL-NIGHT BOWLING-- DAD, YOU'RE AN ANIMAL! 344 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,136 - PJ?! - DAD? 345 00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,138 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 346 00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:10,599 UH, NOWHERE. 347 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,970 WHY IS CHARLIE UP? 348 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,201 NO REASON. 349 00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:14,203 WHY IS GABE UP? 350 00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:16,384 NO REASON. 351 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,346 WHAT'S WITH THE BOOK? 352 00:16:17,347 --> 00:16:19,447 WHAT'S WITH THE BOWLING BALL? 353 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,051 NONE OF THIS EVER HAPPENED. 354 00:16:23,053 --> 00:16:24,313 NONE OF WHAT EVER HAPPENED? 355 00:16:24,314 --> 00:16:26,024 LET'S GO, DAD. 356 00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:27,316 HE CAN KEEP THIS UP ALL NIGHT. 357 00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:28,317 KEEP WHAT UP ALL NIGHT? 358 00:16:33,463 --> 00:16:36,433 "SUDDENLY TWO BRIGHT GREEN EYES OPENED WIDE 359 00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:38,296 AND LIT UP THE ROCKY DEN AND JUNIE 360 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:42,428 STOOD FACE-TO-FACE WITH A GIANT FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON! 361 00:16:42,432 --> 00:16:44,772 HE OPENED HIS MOUTH AND ROARED--" 362 00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:45,784 PJ?! 363 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,377 MOM! 364 00:16:48,378 --> 00:16:50,408 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 365 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,240 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 366 00:16:54,184 --> 00:16:56,354 THAT ONLY WORKS WITH YOUR DAD. 367 00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:57,786 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 368 00:16:57,787 --> 00:16:59,487 IT WAS CHARLIE'S IDEA. 369 00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,149 SHE WANTED TO FINISH THE BOOK. 370 00:17:01,151 --> 00:17:03,321 OH, OKAY. SO CHARLIE GOT UP 371 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,453 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, 372 00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:06,164 CALLED YOU AT YOUR APARTMENT 373 00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:08,696 AND TOLD YOU TO COME OVER FOR A BOOK SESH? 374 00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:10,698 SHE'S A SCAMP. 375 00:17:12,802 --> 00:17:14,102 COME ON, CHARLIE. 376 00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:18,737 GOOD NIGHT, PJ. 377 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,608 WELL, WHAT'S SHE DOING TOMORROW? 378 00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:21,610 PRESCHOOL. 379 00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,311 AGAIN? 380 00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:25,323 THAT'S EVERY DAY NOW? 381 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,153 MORNING, GABE. 382 00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,464 I WANT HIM OUT. 383 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,455 - WHO? - DAD. 384 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,457 I HAVEN'T SLEPT A WINK IN 48 HOURS. 385 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:44,130 EXCEPT A QUICK LITTLE NAP DURING MATH CLASS. 386 00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:45,644 IS THIS ABOUT HIS SNORING? 387 00:17:45,635 --> 00:17:47,165 NO! 388 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,637 I GAVE HIM A TASTE OF FREEDOM 389 00:17:48,638 --> 00:17:50,438 AND HE WENT CRAZY. 390 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,570 YEAH. 391 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,301 DAD DOES BETTER WITH RULES. 392 00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:55,613 LOTS AND LOTS OF RULES. 393 00:17:57,147 --> 00:17:58,477 I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. 394 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,108 YOU GOTTA TAKE HIM BACK. TONIGHT. 395 00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:01,750 CALM DOWN, OKAY? 396 00:18:01,751 --> 00:18:04,451 THIS IS YOUR DAD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. 397 00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:06,424 LET'S SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT. 398 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:07,816 WE'LL FLIP A COIN. 399 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,360 HEADS, YOU'RE STUCK WITH HIM; 400 00:18:11,361 --> 00:18:14,091 - TAILS, HE'S MY PROBLEM. - DEAL. 401 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,373 PLEASE BE TAILS. PLEASE BE TAILS. PLEASE BE TAILS. 402 00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:18,526 HEY. WHATCHA DOIN'? 403 00:18:18,528 --> 00:18:20,368 FIGHTING OVER YOU. 404 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,731 SO WHO WON? 405 00:18:22,732 --> 00:18:24,572 ( groans ) GABE! 406 00:18:24,574 --> 00:18:26,714 YES! 407 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,178 WELCOME BACK. 408 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,545 ( doorbell rings ) 409 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,449 - HI. - SO? 410 00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:42,521 HOW'D THE TEST GO? 411 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,762 WELL... OF COURSE I WON'T KNOW FOR A WHILE, 412 00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:48,295 BUT I THINK I DID REALLY WELL. 413 00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:50,298 NOW, IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR AGREEMENT, 414 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,860 YOU NEED TO ACCOMPANY ME TO MY CHESS MATCH. 415 00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:55,441 RIGHT RIGHT, THE "CHESS MATCH." 416 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,635 TEDDY, IT'S JUST A CHESS MATCH. 417 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,637 SURE. OKAY. 418 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:00,809 WELL, WHAT DO I HAVE TO WEAR? 419 00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:03,810 A BIRD SUIT OR A ROBOT OUTFIT? 420 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:07,215 ACTUALLY, WHAT YOU HAVE ON NOW IS PERFECT. 421 00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:16,234 COME ON, ANDREW. IT'S YOUR MOVE. 422 00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:17,856 IT IS? 423 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:18,857 OH, RIGHT. 424 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,467 CHECKMATE. 425 00:19:29,499 --> 00:19:30,499 WHAT? 426 00:19:31,541 --> 00:19:32,541 NO! IT CAN'T BE! 427 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,513 CURSE YOU, DELESEUR! 428 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,550 WE'RE DONE HERE. THANK YOU, TEDDY. 429 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,686 NERD BAIT. 430 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,818 NOT MY FINEST HOUR. 431 00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:00,397 Well, Charlie. I got my S.A.T. results back 432 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,400 and let's just say I did pretty well. 433 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,713 I'm trying not to be supercilious. 434 00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:09,677 Did I use that right? 435 00:20:09,679 --> 00:20:11,339 Who cares? Test's over. 436 00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:13,582 Hey, check it out. The sequel to 437 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,623 "The Littlest Unicorn" just came out. 438 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,615 "Revenge of the Littlest Unicorn." 439 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,748 Have you seen Charlie? 440 00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,619 Uh, yeah. And she told me 441 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,591 to tell you that she's not home. 442 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,704 Man! Well, who am I supposed to read this to? 443 00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:30,899 Hello, Toby! 444 00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:34,431 Okay, chapter one. 445 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,244 "Junie had an axe to grind..." 446 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,565 Well. 447 00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,437 Sounds like there's gonna be a beatdown 448 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,439 in Butterflylandia. 449 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,741 Better wish Junie some 450 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,272 good luck, Charlie. 451 00:20:49,919 --> 00:20:52,479 CHARLIE, ARE YOU READY TO GO TO THE PARK NOW? 452 00:20:52,482 --> 00:20:53,622 NO! 453 00:20:53,623 --> 00:20:55,293 ( groans ) 454 00:20:55,285 --> 00:20:57,625 PJ, THANKS TO THAT STUPID BOOK YOU READ HER 455 00:20:57,627 --> 00:20:59,287 CHARLIE'S AFRAID TO GO OUTSIDE. 456 00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:01,459 SHE THINKS THERE'S A DRAGON OUT THERE. 457 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,891 THERE IS. 458 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,704 WILL YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO YOUR SISTER 459 00:21:06,696 --> 00:21:08,396 THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S NOT? 460 00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:10,768 OKAY, CHARLIE. IT'S VERY SIMPLE. 461 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,700 UNICORNS ARE REAL, DRAGONS ARE NOT. 462 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:16,945 OKAY. ARE YOU READY TO GO NOW? 463 00:21:16,946 --> 00:21:18,376 NO. 464 00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,708 OKAY, MOM. I GOT THIS. 465 00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:21,549 CHARLIE, THERE IS NO DRAGON OUT THERE. 466 00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:22,881 LOOK, I'LL SHOW YOU. 467 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,415 ( roaring ) 468 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:34,893 ( coughs ) 469 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,026 TOLD YOU.