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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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- Ooh, what's going on?
- Uh, Sam and Jay
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are on high alert for
another Christmas possession,
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so they're playing it safe and not
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going near any electronics this year.
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Which I'm trying not to take personally.
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I'm the reason your mother-in-law
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likes you now, you ingrate.
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So you just want me to plug this
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- Christmas village in?
- Uh-huh.
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- That's right.
- Better safe than sorry.
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This puppy draws a lot of current.
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You know I'm gonna have to
charge you my regular rate.
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Plus the holiday surcharge.
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Yes, we are aware of that.
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Alberta, what are you doing?
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I'm getting behind Mark in case
he gets shocked and thrown back.
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You're trying to possess him?
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But this is our first
Christmas together as a couple.
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Oh, we'll be together.
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I'll just be in Mark.
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Man, it would be so
cool to possess someone.
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I've had the munchies
for, like, half a century.
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I'm a pacifist but I'd
murder somebody for a Pringle.
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Okay, here goes nothing.
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Mm...
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Huh.
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Damn it! Mama wanted a Sazerac.
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Okay, so I'll send you guys a bill.
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- Merry Christmas, Mark.
- Mm-hmm.
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- Look, Trevor, way in the back.
- Mm?
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The orthodontist has a
little menorah in the window.
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I want to say that's
an offensive stereotype,
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but he looks a lot like Dr. Rosenblatt.
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This dope.
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Furiously buying gifts on December 23rd
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that can be here by tomorrow.
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It's like this every year.
When's he gonna learn?
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Okay, you are not gonna believe this.
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I just got off the
phone with the publisher,
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and apparently, a booker on All Day USA
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listened to my Todd Pod interview,
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and he wants to include
my book in a segment
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on last-minute gift ideas.
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It's crazy how long some people wait.
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He didn't get you the
Jenni Kayne sweater
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'cause it was already sold out.
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Hope you enjoy your Best Buy gift card.
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Samantha, this is huge for our book.
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Me... a stocking stuffer. Huzzah!
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This is incredible,
babe. I'm so proud of you.
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And we ghosts shall be able
to witness the interview
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in person, for it shall take place here,
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in the mansion that I built.
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I mean, you didn't actually
do any of the labor.
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I married the man that signed the checks
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that paid for the gruel that
fueled those young child workers.
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Hm. Sort of a sad little nursery rhyme.
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I'm so nervous and so excited.
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I mean, national television.
What am I gonna wear?
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Maybe see what they have at the
women's department at Best Buy.
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It's so cozy.
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Everyone has hot cocoa in Christmastown.
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Mm. Even that baby.
That don't seem safe.
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- Hm.
- Thor have questions.
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It about gift for Flower.
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What the hell?
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Whoa. Did I do that?
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Step back for a second,
Thor. I want to see something.
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Okay, now come closer again.
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Whoa.
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This is wild.
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Thor, your ghost power
must be interacting
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with the electrical
grid in Christmastown.
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Yes. Thor feel power
surging through body.
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Ow!
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Okay, let's get you away from this thing
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before you burn down the whole house.
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Yeah.
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Wait, what were you
asking? Something about a...
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Christmas gift for Flower?
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Yeah, I really want to wow
her, but not know what to get.
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Well, what'd you get her last year?
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Coupon for intercourse. And candle.
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So, yeah, bar set pretty high.
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Okay. Has Flower mentioned
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anything in particular that she wants?
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Mm, world peace. And also food.
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She often mention how she
have munchies for many years.
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Well, unfortunately,
there's no way to enjoy food
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or Sazeracs short of
possessing a Living.
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- Mm.
- Interesting.
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So, you're saying
Thor should help Flower
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possess Living for Christmas.
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I mean, if you could pull that off,
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that'd be a pretty amazing gift.
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Yes! Then it is decided.
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Thor will get Flower
in Living for Christmas.
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And sex coupon. 'Cause tradition.
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Hello, all.
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Every time.
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You have got to learn how
to enter a room, woman.
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Oh, I see it's not just the downstairs.
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This room also reeks of Christmas.
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- What are you so upset about?
- Uh, the tree,
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the decorations,
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the general merriment
that is so clearly afoot.
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Wait, the merriment is a foot?
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Huh. So Steven Stills
had a merriment fetish.
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I'm confused. Don't
Puritans love Christmas?
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Puritans love Christmas?
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Oh, I would laugh, t'were
that not a trick the devil uses
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to enter thine body.
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No, there's only one proper
way to celebrate Christmas.
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Which is not at all.
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You see, Puritans believed that
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to revel was a gateway to sin.
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Buckle up, it's time for another
depressing history lesson.
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So, on Christmas,
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there was no mirth in sight.
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Shops remained open,
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work continued unabated,
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and you would be fined
for doing anything
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even close to celebrating.
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Ah, 'twas wonderful.
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Well you've given us
all a lot to think about.
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And then came the tinsel.
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Oh, it's still going. Fun!
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How you feeling, babe... you ready?
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- Today's the big day.
- I'm freaking out, Jay.
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You should be nervous. This interview
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is huge for both of us.
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National television.
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Thousands of people could be watching.
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- It could be millions.
- My God.
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The 13 colonies must be
bursting at the seams.
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Hey, you got this, babe.
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And you can put the toothbrush down.
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The mayor's car is clean.
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Hey, why do you think he
drives such a fancy car?
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You think he's taking
bribes for permits?
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"Peppermits"?
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- Is this helping, Sam?
- No.
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I'm sorry, Jay, I just really
need to collect my thoughts.
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All right, but you're
gonna do great, babe.
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- You think?
- I know it.
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Oh. "Peppermits."
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That's-that's good. Yeah, I get it.
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Sam, you got moment?
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- She's kind of in a mood.
- I'm a little busy, Thor.
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Just need little help with Flower gift.
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Want to ask your opinion.
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I'm sure whatever you
have in mind is perfect.
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Okay, but Thor want to tell you
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and then have extensive
conversation where you tell Thor
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- how you feel about idea.
- You know what, Thor,
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why don't you just
let us all be surprised
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so we can experience
the gift, whatever it is,
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along with Flower.
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Yes. Great idea, Isaac.
Surprise Flower. Surprise me.
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- And have a merry Christmas.
- Okay.
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And, um... Flower! Come in here.
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Oh, it's happening right now.
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Hey, Thor, what's up?
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Stand there. By Samantha.
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Okay.
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What's going on?
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Thor?
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Merry Christmas, Flower!
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Oh... dear.
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Whoa.
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Am I wearing a bra?
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Hey, who shaved my pits, man?
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Okay, something very weird is going on.
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Is it less pink in here?
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Does it smell less like patchouli?
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Flower, you are inside of Sam.
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This giant animal used
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his ghost power to channel electricity
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from the Christmas village
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and hurl Sam's body through you,
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thus resulting in yet
another Christmas possession.
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Thor, you did that for me?
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- Aw.
- No! Not "aw."
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Samantha has a very important
interview about our book
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and we need you out
of her body, posthaste.
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Interview? Uh, Thor not
know about interview.
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Thor, what did you do?
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- Samantha?
- Yeah, it's me.
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And you're in big trouble.
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But you tell Thor to surprise you.
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Yes, because I didn't
think you meant this.
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Okay, so you were surprised.
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Sort of seem like mission accomplished.
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Now that that
misunderstanding is cleared up,
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- we can take care of this.
- Right.
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Okay, Flower, I'm gonna
drive you over the boundary
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00:07:48,922 --> 00:07:50,257
and get you out of my body.
199
00:07:50,357 --> 00:07:52,826
Wait. Flower have
munchies for many years.
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00:07:52,926 --> 00:07:55,295
Please just let her eat one thing.
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Make Thor's Christmas gift complete.
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Fine.
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Flower, you can have one thing.
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00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:03,603
But then I want my body back,
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00:08:03,704 --> 00:08:05,605
and I can't keep saying
this every Christmas.
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00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:10,177
Okay, Flower, it's your time to shine.
207
00:08:12,212 --> 00:08:15,315
Whoa. Did it used to
be more pink in here?
208
00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:19,119
Flower, take bite of
cookie and satisfy munchies.
209
00:08:19,219 --> 00:08:20,854
Okay.
210
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Mmm.
211
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Wow. That is so good.
212
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,829
What's going on?
213
00:08:28,929 --> 00:08:30,197
Flower possess Sam,
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00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:32,765
part of very generous
Christmas gift from Thor.
215
00:08:35,635 --> 00:08:38,404
Okay. Flower, you've had your fun,
216
00:08:38,471 --> 00:08:39,773
but it's time to go.
217
00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:41,308
How long has she been in there?
218
00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:43,610
- Couple of minutes.
- What? That's not long enough.
219
00:08:43,711 --> 00:08:45,679
Samantha has a very
important interview in an hour
220
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- and she needs to focus.
- An hour?
221
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,983
That's plenty of time.
Flower, listen to me.
222
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:52,052
Run to the light and
shut the door behind you.
223
00:08:52,152 --> 00:08:54,321
No, no, there's not time...
224
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Whoa. Hey, Nancy.
225
00:08:58,826 --> 00:09:00,093
How's it going?
226
00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:01,862
Please excuse my hairless pits.
227
00:09:01,962 --> 00:09:04,698
Okay, Nancy, you're not
being helpful right now.
228
00:09:04,798 --> 00:09:06,499
I'm just looking after my girl.
229
00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:09,536
When you possessed that
workman back in the 1800s,
230
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,705
you were in that dude for days.
231
00:09:11,839 --> 00:09:14,441
What I do inside a of dude
is none of your business.
232
00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:16,476
- Oh...
- Everyone stop!
233
00:09:16,543 --> 00:09:18,178
This not problem.
234
00:09:18,278 --> 00:09:19,546
Flower can have her fun
235
00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:20,848
then before interview,
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00:09:20,948 --> 00:09:23,183
she leaves Sam body. Right, Flower?
237
00:09:23,316 --> 00:09:25,152
Wait.
238
00:09:25,252 --> 00:09:26,553
Where she go?
239
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,956
Flower has absconded with Sam's body.
240
00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:32,159
Hell yeah! Drive it like
you stole it, Flower.
241
00:09:32,225 --> 00:09:34,660
Oh! Whoo!
242
00:09:34,762 --> 00:09:37,530
You disgust me, fat man.
243
00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:41,301
Oh. Hey, Patience. Oh,
you left just in time.
244
00:09:41,368 --> 00:09:43,503
They're upstairs singing "The
Twelve Days of Christmas."
245
00:09:43,603 --> 00:09:44,950
I had to get out of there.
246
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:48,675
Trevor also have disdain for the
vile celebration of this holiday?
247
00:09:48,776 --> 00:09:50,543
Well, I didn't want to
say anything in front of
248
00:09:50,643 --> 00:09:52,746
the others. I prefer to let you
corner the wet blanket market.
249
00:09:52,846 --> 00:09:54,982
Oh, thank you. 'Tis kind of my thing.
250
00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:56,549
But, if I'm being honest,
251
00:09:56,649 --> 00:09:58,385
I'm not the biggest
fan of Christmas either.
252
00:09:58,485 --> 00:09:59,820
Really?
253
00:09:59,887 --> 00:10:01,654
I was, like, the only Jewish
kid in my town growing up.
254
00:10:01,755 --> 00:10:04,190
And so, when the holidays rolled
around, I always felt a little
255
00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:05,525
like I didn't belong.
256
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:07,560
And in elementary school,
every Christmas pageant,
257
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:11,398
they made me stand up alone and
sing "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel."
258
00:10:11,498 --> 00:10:13,600
Ugh. Patience understands.
259
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:17,470
It's like that winter when I
was spared from the great pox
260
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:20,440
but all of my siblings perished.
261
00:10:20,573 --> 00:10:22,175
Why not me?
262
00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:25,012
Yeah. Um...
263
00:10:25,112 --> 00:10:26,546
not exactly the same.
264
00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:28,548
Oh.
265
00:10:28,648 --> 00:10:30,884
Thank you for talking with me, Trevor.
266
00:10:30,984 --> 00:10:34,721
Patience is... enjoying herself.
267
00:10:34,788 --> 00:10:36,756
Yeah. But not too much, right?
268
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:40,060
Thou gets it.
269
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,776
So, yeah, Flower's running
around in a brand new Sam suit.
270
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,478
Oh, that lucky son of a bitch.
271
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,780
Mark, that could have been us.
272
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,283
Oh, hi, Mark. Hey, David.
273
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,620
Is that Woodstone? That looks amazing.
274
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,055
I helped build it.
275
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,589
We've been working on it
for the last few weeks.
276
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,058
My kid wants to be a contractor,
277
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,526
so we started with a gingerbread house.
278
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,161
What do we say after we're done?
279
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,663
We'll send you an invoice.
280
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,032
That is so cute.
281
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:06,666
But you're not really
charging me, right?
282
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,535
No, it's a gift. Merry Christmas.
283
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,370
Hi.
284
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,339
Gary from All Day USA.
285
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,341
We're here to interview Sam Arondekar.
286
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,665
- That's gonna be difficult.
- Great. Well, I'm Jay.
287
00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:20,313
I'm Sam's husband. Uh, yeah,
she was around here. Sam!
288
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,382
Sam!
289
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,750
I'll just go look for her.
290
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,685
Follow the smell of burning bras.
291
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,454
You'll find her.
292
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,524
Amanda, you're an amazing person.
293
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,760
And the love that you
put out into the universe
294
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,996
is gonna come back to you tenfold.
295
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,798
Oh. Wow, thank you.
296
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,367
I had no idea you were so spiritual.
297
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,803
Yeah, I once slept with
the Dalai Lama's brother.
298
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,105
What is happening right now?
299
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,574
I'd say Samantha got into my laudanum,
300
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,310
but I don't think it has
that kind of shelf life.
301
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,313
Oh. Hey, Gabe. How's it going, man?
302
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,414
Good.
303
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,615
Say, listen, do you know anywhere
304
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,251
that someone could score around here?
305
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,287
Aw, I just cook.
306
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,222
Oh, come on, Gabe. I'm cool.
307
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,391
I heard pot's a lot stronger these days.
308
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,893
I haven't smoked any since the sixties.
309
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,795
How old are you?
310
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,863
Oh, my God, the crazy bastard did it.
311
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,499
Flower, is that you?
312
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,401
Yeah, it's me. Hi, guys.
313
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,036
- What?
- Oh, sorry,
314
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,671
I was just talking to my
friend who used to be a virgin.
315
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,140
But he's invisible to you.
316
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,875
Okay. I want what you have.
317
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,544
Why is the virgin thing germane?
318
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,146
What is going on?
319
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,448
Thor wanted to help Flower
possess someone for Christmas,
320
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,417
- and I guess he did it.
- Oh...
321
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,885
So, can you hook it up or not?
322
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,921
Look, I have something,
323
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,623
but it might be a little intense.
324
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:40,060
Dude, I used to party
with Bobby and Jerry.
325
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,896
I hugged a bear after Woodstock
and lived to talk about it.
326
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,332
No, no, you didn't.
327
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,067
The point is I can handle it.
328
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,002
Okay.
329
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,603
It's called Mistletoe.
330
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,172
- Whoa.
- You just put this
331
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,407
under your tongue and when you see God,
332
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,343
tell him Gabe said, "What's up?"
333
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,311
Flower, here comes Jay.
334
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,580
- Who?
- Um, God?
335
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,948
Our heavenly father?
336
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,283
There you are.
337
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,684
We got to get you
back to the house, Sam.
338
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,519
What are you doing back here?
339
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,421
Oh, I was just getting drugs from Gabe.
340
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,223
That's hilarious.
341
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,891
Come on, let's go.
342
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,462
We should probably go watch this.
343
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,430
Oh, hell yeah.
344
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,499
So, then I said to Goody Mather
345
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,668
that I could finish
the quilt by sunrise.
346
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,104
Oh, my candle did burn low that night.
347
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,873
I love it. You got that grind mentality.
348
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,541
- You knoweth it.
- I got to say,
349
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,378
Patience, even though this
is not my favorite season,
350
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,446
I'm having a pretty good time.
351
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:36,549
I guess it's true what they
say: misery loves company.
352
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,418
Oh, indeed.
353
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,887
She also loved making
little corn husk dolls.
354
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,622
And saying the Lord's Prayer.
355
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,757
Misery was a woman of many hobbies.
356
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,326
You're meshugana.
357
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,660
What's that?
358
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,729
Oh, it's a Yiddish word.
359
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,564
Yiddish is sort of like Hebrew.
360
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,267
I've always had an interest in Hebrew.
361
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,869
You know, the language He spoke.
362
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:59,072
Well, I don't really
know that much Hebrew.
363
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,307
I can count to ten.
364
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,075
Oh. I would very much
365
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,843
like to hear that sometime.
366
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,913
It's cool that you're so
interested in Jewish stuff.
367
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,582
I know a little about Puritan stuff.
368
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,751
I went on a field trip
to a colonial village
369
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,421
in the fifth grade. My favorite part:
370
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:15,655
the butter churning.
371
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,224
- Mm.
- But I could never quite get it.
372
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,025
- The...
- Oh.
373
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,794
You're not gonna get butter like that.
374
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,596
No, 'tis less of a circular motion
375
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,298
and more like this.
376
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,701
One, two, three. 'Tis
important to keep a rhythm.
377
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,604
One, two, three.
378
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,606
Perhaps count with me,
379
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,642
in the language of your people.
380
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,044
If that's what you want.
381
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,314
Echad, shtayim, shalosh...
382
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,582
Slower.
383
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,418
Echad, shtayim,
384
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,619
shalosh.
385
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,721
I think the butter is firming.
386
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,157
Hell yeah it is.
387
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,562
You know, makeup is just
a tool the patriarchy uses
388
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,297
to keep women down, man.
389
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,800
- Are you okay, babe?
- Oh!
390
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:04,237
Wow. Your beard is so soft.
391
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:08,040
Okay. Thor very happy you
like Christmas present,
392
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,910
but time to let Sam do
interview now, Flower.
393
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,745
And... she's asleep.
394
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,347
Babe?
395
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,749
They're ready for you, Sam.
396
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,117
Sam!
397
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,621
- You ready?
- Yeah, man.
398
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,356
Groovy.
399
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,459
This is gonna be a train wreck.
400
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,196
All right, here we are.
Walter, this is Sam.
401
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,731
Hey. Walter Storm, All Day USA.
402
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,166
Very nice to meet you.
403
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,734
I had them set us up here in front of
404
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,803
this gingerbread
house. Pretty cool, huh?
405
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,137
Cool.
406
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,572
Okay.
407
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,141
Babe, you got this.
408
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,743
Someone get him out of the shot.
409
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:46,446
Jay! Flower's inside me.
410
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,815
- Do something.
- Oh, uh, hey, actually,
411
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,350
can we just have five more minutes?
412
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,619
Nope. We're live in five,
413
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,321
four, three...
414
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,259
And we're live here with
author Samantha Arondekar
415
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:02,028
to talk to her about her
historical fiction book
416
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,463
about vampires.
417
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,332
Oh, no! Not vampires.
418
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,033
They're scary.
419
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,607
What kind of historical research
did you do for the novel?
420
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,109
- Um, seven.
- What?
421
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,878
Teen.
422
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,547
Seventeen.
423
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,981
I'm sorry?
424
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,350
Tell him you unearthed
425
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,285
previously undiscovered
426
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,220
primary source documents.
427
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,622
I found something in the earth.
428
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,224
Was that good?
429
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,628
Uh, moving on to theme.
430
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,297
What was it about vampires
431
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,098
that, uh, piqued your interest?
432
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,269
Whoa. Is that a giant cookie house?
433
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,041
What is she doing to
the gingerbread house?
434
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,110
I... I don't know.
435
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,079
Thor, the chimney tastes amazing.
436
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,482
Okay, sweetie, I think that's enough.
437
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,050
- No...
- Hey, get your own cookie house, man!
438
00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,486
Um, Sam...
439
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,022
- It's like watching Godzilla
- Oh!
440
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:04,290
trample Candy Land.
441
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,158
- Okay. The book is
- No... Sam, Sam...
442
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,561
Isaac Higgintooth: Colonial Vampire.
443
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,163
Available online and at bookstores now.
444
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,699
Pick up yours today.
445
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,635
Impressive composure under
difficult circumstances.
446
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,670
- He's a pro.
- Mm.
447
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,273
You made out with Patience?
448
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,908
There was Hebrew and churning.
449
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,875
Things got out of hand. We
just couldn't stop ourselves.
450
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,513
This is a wild turn of events.
451
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,247
And now I'm freaking out because,
452
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:29,916
you know, it's Patience.
453
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,184
Puritans don't do casual hookups.
454
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,086
She probably thinks we're engaged now.
455
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,088
Trevor, we need to speak.
456
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:39,125
I wanted to talketh about
what happened earlier.
457
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,394
About our...
458
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,463
sensual union.
459
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,532
- I should go.
- Please stay.
460
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:49,168
I hath prayed on it, and I
have come to the conclusion...
461
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,038
... that we cannot be together.
462
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:53,640
Oh. I mean...
463
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,942
Oh, no. Why not?
464
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,310
I do not want to hurt you.
465
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,647
But we come from two different worlds.
466
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,214
I do not think it could ever work out.
467
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,552
Well, I was hoping
for something serious,
468
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,620
but if that's how you feel...
469
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,622
I wish there was some other way,
470
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,559
for I am sad as well.
471
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,327
Goodbye, Trevor.
472
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,866
No harm, no foul.
473
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,134
Yeah, except you just
got dumped by Patience.
474
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:23,803
Any chance that stays between us?
475
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,573
Well, would it be embarrassing
for you if it got out?
476
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,841
- A little.
- Then no.
477
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:30,843
Okay, Sam...
478
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,679
I mean Flower... here we go.
479
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,252
Oh...
480
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,856
Yay! They're back.
481
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,192
I said I was sorry, Sam.
482
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,828
I don't want to hear
it, Flower. And you.
483
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:52,164
- I can't believe you, Thor.
- That was not cool, big guy.
484
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:55,201
Thor very sorry. But
maybe somehow this...
485
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,636
help book sales.
486
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,471
Maybe now Sam sort of...
487
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,273
Hawk Tuah girl of books.
488
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,876
You guys knew today
was a big deal for me.
489
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,278
Why didn't anyone do anything to help?
490
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,180
Oh, but Samantha, what could we do?
491
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,750
- We're ghosts.
- You know we love you, Sam.
492
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,485
We screwed up. But can
we just get to the part
493
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,121
where you forgive us and we
can all have a Merry Christmas?
494
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,289
No. Not this time.
495
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,959
Because that interview aired.
496
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,327
And just like you guys,
497
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,895
it'll be around forever.
498
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,532
Don't know why we need to
drag our immortality into this.
499
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,568
Babe, let's just go
to sleep and calm down.
500
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,670
- And tomorrow's another day.
- Exactly.
501
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,440
It's another day of
living with this curse.
502
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,807
Another chance for a ghost
503
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,843
to ruin something
that's important to me.
504
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,012
God, I wish I had
never gotten this power.
505
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:43,315
I wish I had never
been able to see ghosts.
506
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,823
Did Flower at least like Christmas gift?
507
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,725
What'd you get me?
508
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:56,228
You don't remember possessing Sam?
509
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:57,430
What?
510
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,066
No. Oh, but that would
have been amazing.
511
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,102
I have had the munchies
for, like, 50 years.
512
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,820
Jay?
513
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,992
Hey, guys.
514
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,129
Oh. Okay, I see.
515
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,499
Giving me the silent treatment?
516
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,670
Don't mind Thor, Thor not sitting there.
517
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,441
What the hell?
518
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:48,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
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