0
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,958
I spend all this time wanting sex.
1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,956
You've got to admit, it's possible,
isn't it?
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,069
Yeah.
3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,189
Yes!
4
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,240
I'll sleep on the floor.
5
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,713
Don't stare!
6
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,035
Where's my money gone?
He's taken everything.
7
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,753
I'm a vlogger.
I get naked and they send me money!
8
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,031
She'd kill you. Using her old house
to pimp out her grandson.
9
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,712
First we had nothing.
10
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,115
Then we made a path.
11
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,352
Then we made the path bigger.
12
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,595
Then we made roads.
13
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,232
Then we made the roads enormous.
14
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,680
Then we made more.
Then we kept making more.
15
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,598
We built lines across the world,
and we lived along the lines.
16
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,713
We made grids, we made mazes,
we made circuits, we made traps.
17
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:57,909
That's where we live.
18
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,110
Contained inside the lines.
19
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:05,109
Men did this. We built cages
to keep ourselves civilised.
20
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,913
But sometimes we take a wrong turn.
21
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,511
Sometimes we get...
22
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,560
Lost.
23
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,995
Oh, for God's sake!
24
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,952
He's in a mood.
25
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,592
I think it's him.
26
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,877
Josh. 18. Law student, so he says.
27
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,989
Can't get rid of him.
28
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,758
Ah, he looks nice.
29
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,756
Freddie said, ' "Bye! '"
But he won't take the hint.
30
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,631
Just keeps sitting there. Clinging on.
31
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:46,795
He's like a young version of you.
32
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,796
Oh, thank you very much(!)
33
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,512
Thursday afternoon, I need you out, OK?
34
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,074
Stay out till about half six,
and you, Dean, both of you.
35
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,714
I need the place to myself, Thursday, OK?
36
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,318
- Have you got that?
- OK!
37
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,793
I'm busy anyway.
38
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,434
- You're not the only one with a life.
- Oh, yeah, busy doing what?
39
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,761
Yeah, now you've been sacked,
what d'you do all day, Mr B?
40
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:05,948
Wouldn't you like to know?
41
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,240
First things first. What did the bank say?
42
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,989
I warned you, when you first
moved in together, I said,
43
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,793
' "Anyone with a joint
account is an idiot.'"
44
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,718
Lance has claimed the money
as his own and it's perfectly legal.
45
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,671
- Can't we sue?
- It'll cost you.
46
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,676
And that's money you don't have.
47
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,359
I charge 200 quid an hour,
and that's including this.
48
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,072
I'm penniless.
49
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,476
I work with the penniless,
you are nowhere near. Sell your car!
50
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,435
There's one more thing.
51
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,398
That's what I wanted to show you.
52
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,034
I needed the money, so...
53
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,439
I think I might be in
a tiny little bit of trouble.
54
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,833
Ah.
55
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,598
It's a long time since I've been here.
56
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,278
Must be a decade or so.
57
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,799
Your mum never liked me.
58
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,998
So, what is it you've done, then?
59
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,280
Turned it into a cannabis farm?
60
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,595
That would have been wise.
61
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,239
Hello, Mr B!
62
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,829
Hi, Scotty, this is Cliff. Cliff,
Scotty, and this is Meatballs.
63
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,233
- Hiya.
- Yeah, we've met before.
64
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:15,716
Look, I fixed it, I got it working.
65
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,871
This is my empire.
66
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,558
So it drives people to their channel,
67
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,989
and the channel attracts advertising,
so it makes money.
68
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,439
How old is Adam, now?
69
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,438
15. His mate's 16.
70
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,391
They've got wish lists.
Next thing you know, they've got
71
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,113
men sending them iPods
and gift certificates.
72
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,913
Adam got sent this black Nando's
card from a man in Aberdeen.
73
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,391
So, word spreads.
74
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,874
This is Jake, and Ryan.
75
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,751
They're wondering, could they have a go?
76
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,874
And this is Ollie, this is Richard.
77
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:28,840
OK.
78
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,513
Three, two, one!
79
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,357
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
80
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,675
- And they're not gay?
- Nope.
81
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,038
- And they're not getting off on that?
- No. Believe me.
82
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,469
They stand up and wipe their mouths
like no gay kid ever would.
83
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,078
Please don't say this is turning you on.
84
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,588
Actually, not for a second.
I think they can fuck off.
85
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,200
- Yeah. I know.
- I am horrified to discover
86
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,355
I have standards.
87
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,992
We're being ripped off, Henry!
88
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,634
Men like you and me are masturbating
over those smart-arse kids,
89
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:00,795
in all good faith.
90
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,671
I know! Cos then they tried to rip me off.
91
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,756
We give you 35%, but what for?
92
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,711
We could do this at home without you.
93
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,115
Yes, but I give you the house,
and freedom,
94
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,118
and safety. There's Scotty
and Meatballs, I pay for them.
95
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,071
The whole point of vlogging
is we do it ourselves.
96
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,348
It's our voice.
97
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,028
Not an old man's.
98
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,237
So. Me and my big mouth.
99
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,633
That's when I had my bright idea.
100
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:23,908
Which is what?
101
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,234
Nervous?
102
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,999
Did you ever play that? Nervous?
103
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,996
Not in our school.
104
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,316
We played it all the time,
when we were 12, or 13.
105
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,873
Boys and girls in my day, but...
106
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,354
You just... touch someone, and...
107
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,240
Oh, God, you're all too young.
108
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,793
But it's a game, it's like a test.
109
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,389
You put your hand on someone's knee, and
say, '"Nervous? '" And they say, '"No.'"
110
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,796
Then you put your hand on someone's thigh,
and say, '"Nervous? '" And they say, '"No.'"
111
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,876
So you keep going further up the thigh,
like, ' "Nervous? '"
112
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,798
And by now they're going,
' "Oh, my God... '"
113
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,310
It didn't work at first, cos these boys
aren't nervous of anything.
114
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,315
Nervous?
115
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,919
No.
116
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,871
I don't get it, what's the point?
117
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,115
Why would I be nervous?
118
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,513
But then, they got in this lad.
119
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,033
Beanie.
120
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,120
Nervous?
121
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,674
Ah! No. No, go on!
122
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,035
Nervous?
123
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,308
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
124
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,360
Nervous?
125
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,674
Yes or no?
126
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,188
No. Oh, my God.
127
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,118
- Nervous?
- Gaargh!
128
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,037
So now, everyone loves Beanie,
129
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,389
they're lining up to have a go.
130
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,076
- Nervous?
- Oh, sacre bleu!
131
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,314
Nervous?
132
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,396
Whoa, whoa, not my bum!
No-one said my bum.
133
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,078
Is that allowed? No way!
134
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:56,952
Wheurgh!
135
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,149
Next thing you know, it goes viral.
136
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,269
Everyone's doing it,
137
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,072
I'm a trendsetter, Cliff. By accident.
138
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,076
What sort of figures?
139
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,712
The Nervous videos
get about 90,000 views, each.
140
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,593
It's not that big,
but it's 90,000 people. Watching.
141
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,511
Am I breaking the law? Is it legal?
142
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,960
Oh, my God, Cliff, tell me it's OK.
143
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,672
Is it?
144
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,188
Technically, they're employing you.
145
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,038
So, you're not a porn baron,
you're just a minion.
146
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,354
You're the patsy.
147
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,277
They're making you their dupe.
148
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,958
Well, that's good news.
149
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,149
As long as there's no hard-ons.
150
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,192
- You're certain that no-one's erect?
- Definitely not.
151
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,798
And all of a sudden, that's a good thing.
152
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,875
The world is mad.
153
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,319
Hey, there.
154
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,069
Hello, Uncle Cliff.
155
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,271
Hi, Adam. The main man.
I've just been admiring your handiwork.
156
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,548
It's a laugh, isn't it?
157
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,318
We're getting six of us in tonight.
158
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,954
There you go, thank you!
159
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,753
We're gonna do that Raining Men song.
With wellies and things.
160
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,631
And Beanie gets all wet, it's brilliant.
161
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,238
I'll see you in a bit.
162
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,952
That's our song.
163
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,275
I think I preferred it
when they were beating us up.
164
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,594
How much?
165
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,358
200 quid.
166
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,709
All of this for 200 quid.
167
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,876
I've got to pay 50 to Scotty.
168
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,196
And 60 for materials,
I'm making 90 quid a week.
169
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,275
Wow(!)
170
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,753
You prove my theory.
171
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,873
We chain ourselves down with homes
and jobs and money,
172
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,069
but take those chains away
173
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,314
and we're dogs.
174
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:20,275
We are nothing but dogs,
running across the wilderness,
175
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,878
howling at the sky.
176
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,195
Cocks out. Fucking the wind.
177
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,191
You've lost your chains, Henry.
178
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,397
I think you're brilliant.
179
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,794
- Bollocks.
- What is it?
180
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:39,840
My boyfriend.
181
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,438
- What? Lance?
- No.
182
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,436
I knew there was something else.
183
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,391
I got a boyfriend.
184
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,759
By mistake.
185
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,994
Shit.
186
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,112
Well, it's nice to meet you, at last,
he's been keeping you secret.
187
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,388
You don't mind if we eat now, do you?
188
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,034
The kids are starving.
Molly made the salad, didn't you?
189
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,036
There's two, there's one with
goat's cheese and one without.
190
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,753
Adam was supposed to do it,
but he disappeared, as usual.
191
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,758
Sorry! I was playing footie.
192
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,552
Sit down anywhere, go on.
193
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:09,196
Oh, and look, that's Baby Lou, upstairs.
She says hello.
194
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,719
Hello, Baby Lou.
195
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,193
So. Dig in.
196
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,356
And remember, Uncle Henry's got
a brand-new boyfriend
197
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,958
so don't frighten him away.
198
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,873
Oh, for Christ's sake, you are ridiculous!
199
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,559
You fight for the rights
of the Romanians and the Poles
200
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,795
and the Nigerians,
but only because you need them
201
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,115
to scrub your toilets! The left wing
loves having an underclass.
202
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,434
Don't you dare presume to know me!
203
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,153
Where d'you think your salad
comes from?
204
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,997
They've got minibuses,
driving round at 5am,
205
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,077
they pick up all the immigrants
and the junkies and the mentally ill,
206
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,873
and they drive them out into
the countryside to pick your lettuce.
207
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,992
Those are the hands on your salad.
Heroin addicts!
208
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,315
You've got slaves working for you,
out in the fields -
209
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,237
don't pretend otherwise, you love it!
210
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,951
You're going out with Theresa May!
211
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,918
No, no, not yet.
212
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,996
Oh, come on!
213
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,678
We should have a good old fuck
one of these days, yeah?
214
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,073
I don't even know what you like.
215
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,553
Are you Ross or Rachel?
216
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,158
I kind of like to wait, y'know,
217
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,997
till it's a proper relationship.
218
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,598
Well, then,
let's make it a proper relationship.
219
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,756
- Would that be good?
- Yeah.
220
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,358
Your sister won't be happy.
221
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,719
She'll be all right.
222
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,752
So, Friday. Come round mine.
223
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,678
Tell you what, let's not drink,
let's have sober sex, I love that.
224
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,039
- Yeah.
- And you can fuck me.
225
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,752
You can go the full bravo delta.
226
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,597
Is that OK?
227
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,640
Yeah.
228
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,750
OK. Friday night. Excellent.
229
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,555
Night.
230
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,868
- That is not remotely sexy.
- Nice bum, though.
231
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,559
Why do men do that,
what do they get out of it?
232
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,433
I'll tell you one thing, Ronnie -
gay men do not moon.
233
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,753
I reckon you're in with a chance.
234
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,153
Don't say that.
235
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,760
There's something odd about him,
though. I mean, seriously.
236
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,074
I mean, you get signals off a man.
237
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,351
Oh, right, he doesn't fancy you,
so he's gay.
238
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,356
No. Although, that's also a fact.
239
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,277
He just doesn't kind of...
240
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,355
Iook.
241
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,473
When you're with him there's something
kind of... off. I don't... I don't know.
242
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,556
Do you really think he might be?
243
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,874
I think he might not know.
244
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,876
- Oh...
- And I think you deserve a bit of fun.
245
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,558
Why don't you ask him out?
246
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,154
Anyway. I need that finished.
247
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,633
Ask him.
248
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,679
Hi.
249
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:15,475
What?
250
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,319
I don't get you.
251
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,476
- What?
- It's Thursday afternoon!
252
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,669
Oh...
253
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:22,789
I can put this up in no time...
254
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,592
Hello! Sorry.
255
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,595
Hi there.
256
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,640
Can we help you?
257
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,477
No, thanks. I'm fine.
258
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,557
This is just Henry, he was passing,
he's just collecting some stuff.
259
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,431
Right, I'm Donald, hello.
260
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,835
I brought this one into the world,
for my sins.
261
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,996
I hope he's not any trouble.
Are you the landlord?
262
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,508
No. No, I'm not.
263
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,437
- What am I missing?
- Oh, and this is Claire.
264
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,040
Hi. You must be Freddie's mum.
265
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,196
Anyway. He's... He's just going.
266
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,240
Am I?
267
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,555
Might as well. Yeah, we've got...
268
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,114
things to do. So... See you later.
269
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,309
Nice to meet you.
270
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,748
OK.
271
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:03,036
Although. I don't have far to go. Do I?
272
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,559
Considering...
273
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,600
I live here.
274
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,598
They're amazing flats, aren't they?
275
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,076
I can't decide
whether it's a penthouse or a deathtrap.
276
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,588
Oh!
277
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,677
It's all a bit suspicious, though,
the, um, the rent -
278
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,073
it's way too low.
279
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,553
How much do you pay for yours?
280
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,477
Same as Freddie.
281
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,794
So, which flat are you in?
282
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:25,670
This one.
283
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,790
- This block?
- No, this flat.
284
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,751
You live here?
285
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:30,994
I live in this flat.
286
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,439
Right. I see.
287
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,596
- He lives with you?
- Not with me!
288
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,712
No. It's not permanent,
he's got a house of his own.
289
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:43,038
So, what's this, then, his city-centre
pied-à-terre? Used for what?
290
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,389
I lived here first! With Dean.
291
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,512
And Dean's all of 19, isn't he?
292
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:49,675
So, where do you sleep, then?
293
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,029
- Oh...
- I've got my own room, over there.
294
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,355
I should bloody well hope so!
I wouldn't imagine otherwise!
295
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,719
How old are you?
296
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,988
Oh, Jesus.
297
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,396
Hey! If it's all so innocent,
why did you lie about him?
298
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,839
It's not the first time, is it?
299
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,440
I didn't lie about anything.
And I'm 46, if you must know.
300
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,708
I'm 45!
301
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,113
We could be mates!
302
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,754
So, what is a man who is 46 years old
doing
303
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,234
living here? With boys?
304
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,238
My husband's got a point.
What exactly are you doing here?
305
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,474
I live here.
306
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,509
That's not answering the question.
307
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,596
Who are you? And what do you do?
308
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:20,868
All sorts of things.
309
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,275
- And what does that mean?
- All sorts of things.
310
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,756
What was your name, Henry?
Answer me this, Henry.
311
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,995
46 years old.
312
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,873
Do you have any idea what you look like?
313
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:36,277
Actually, I look like a man
who is not remotely beholden to you,
314
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,754
and right now, I'm going to my room,
where I live.
315
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,190
So, Mr Baxter, Mrs Baxter.
316
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,878
Fuck off!
317
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,158
Well, that's impressive(!)
318
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,830
- Who is he?
- Oh, just leave it!
319
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,713
Don't give me that! Who is he?!
320
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,116
- Does he go into your room?
- Is that?
321
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,080
- Is Christopher anything to do with this?
- For God's sake, just shut up!
322
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,953
So that, rather than
creating unemployment,
323
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,118
the robotics industry is actually
creating another million jobs,
324
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,593
but we can't rely on that for ever.
325
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,518
But, for me, the main ethical issues
are really concerned with
326
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,439
human care or human killing.
So, for instance,
327
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,552
in Japan where there's really a lot...
328
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,875
...of old people
and not so many young people,
329
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,469
so who's going to look after
the old people?
330
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,398
Well, the Japanese idea
is to have robots look after them.
331
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,510
Myself, as I get older...
332
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,468
But this whole Tomasz thing,
333
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,398
you and him, on the videos,
no-one says anything, at school, or?
334
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,830
Nah, this one boy took the piss,
but Tomasz decked him.
335
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,199
We're just snogging.
336
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,390
Everyone thinks it's funny
and the girls think it's hot.
337
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,714
Ha! A new world.
338
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,433
We do muck about a bit, you know?
339
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,471
Right. What does that mean?
340
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,669
We jerk off together.
341
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,392
Oh, my God, don't tell me that!
342
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,759
Everyone does it.
343
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,633
Do they? I mean, really, though, do they?
Is that what happens now?
344
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,079
I dunno.
345
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,315
He sucked me off last week,
that was a laugh.
346
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,952
Oh, bloody hell, Adam!
347
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,479
What's the big deal?!
348
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,676
Well, it's not, if you say so.
349
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,952
- You sound disappointed.
- No, I'm not. I'm really not.
350
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,194
As long as you're OK. It's just...
351
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,832
He wants me to suck him off now.
352
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,518
We're going to this party, Friday night,
353
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,074
he says we could go back to his
and I could...
354
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,394
nosh him off.
355
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,238
I dunno. It does feel a bit gay.
356
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,511
You don't have to.
You know that, don't you?
357
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,516
You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.
358
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,073
You're weird!
359
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,918
You're acting like it's bad news.
360
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,439
You, of all people!
361
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,555
Hello, boys.
362
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,559
Nervous?
363
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:20,671
This pair of tweezers appeared.
Overnight. New tweezers. Now,
364
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,518
I'm in charge of everything
that exists in this house. I thought,
365
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,073
'"That's Molly.
366
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,510
'"She's 12, she's looking after herself,
that's fine.
367
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:33,588
'"We've already got tweezers,
but she's bought her own. OK.'"
368
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,757
This pair was kind of hidden,
at the back of the shelf.
369
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,438
But... still. Fine.
370
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:39,674
I bought you those mugs!
371
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,358
I know.
372
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,198
You can't just give things back.
If you're returning stuff,
373
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,276
- I'll have that 3,000 quid from the roof.
- But then I thought,
374
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,198
'"She's hiding herself, my daughter,
375
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,629
'"a little bit,
coming out of the bathroom.
376
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,719
'"And that's OK, she's at that age,
she's getting shy, I don't mind.'"
377
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,513
At the back of my head,
I kept thinking,
378
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,232
'"When did I last see her naked?
379
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:05,479
'"Maybe about six months ago.
But... that's OK.'"
380
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,359
And then I found out
what the tweezers were for.
381
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,475
She is using the tweezers
to pluck herself.
382
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,078
She is plucking her vagina.
383
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,157
The moment a hair appears,
she pulls it out.
384
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,476
She is raw, down there. She is raw.
385
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,476
And do you know how I found out?
386
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:42,999
Because I looked on her phone.
387
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,234
And there they are.
388
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,429
All her photos.
389
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,632
12 years old and she's giving
regular updates on her vagina.
390
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,319
To the boys. All the boys.
Any boy who wants it.
391
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,351
Because that's what they do now, the boys,
392
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,551
they tell a girl she's dirty
if she's got hairs,
393
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,160
they tell her she's filthy,
they tell her she smells,
394
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:05,911
so she's literally pulling out
every new hair, the second it appears.
395
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,794
With her tweezers.
The tweezers at the back of the shelf.
396
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,913
And then she photographs herself,
because that's her currency,
397
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:19,398
that's who she is, that photo dictates
who she is and where she ranks.
398
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,670
On the league table. Of vaginas.
399
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,073
Jesus!
400
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,955
They sit there,
that little gang of girls, all her mates,
401
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,468
ever since they were
eight and nine years old,
402
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,078
they've been sitting in this house,
403
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,190
saying, ' "No boy's ever
gonna tell me what to do.'"
404
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:40,199
And then they hit puberty
and it's like someone flicks a switch.
405
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:44,392
All of a sudden, a boy can walk
into the room and they become slaves.
406
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:49,673
On the spot. They are enslaved to him,
like it's genetic.
407
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,792
And there's nothing I can do to stop it.
408
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,671
- Nothing.
- I'm sorry.
409
00:21:56,160 --> 00:22:00,233
I've not been paying you enough attention.
I know that. But...
410
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:03,709
Bless her, is she OK?
411
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:08,117
She's upstairs. Crying.
Grounded, along with her brother, now.
412
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,639
D'you want me to have a word?
413
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:10,908
You can tell her it's your fault.
414
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,040
Hey. Look, that stuff
in the house was out of line...
415
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,913
That stuff in our mother's house.
416
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,555
OK, all right. But... Molly?
417
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,992
That's got nothing to do with me!
418
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,712
Is that what you think?
419
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:31,591
So it's nothing to do with you
when a boy comes up to Molly in the yard
420
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,278
and shoves his hand up her skirt
421
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,357
and grabs hold of her bald little fanny
like he's got every right,
422
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:41,190
because it's funny, it is hilarious,
all thanks to you, Henry,
423
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,438
because now he can shove his hand down
her pants and ask her if she's nervous!
424
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,995
I didn't think.
425
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,278
They're children.
426
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:01,594
You have to think.
427
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,198
All the time.
428
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,831
You're chucking everything away.
429
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,518
Do not lose me.
430
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:18,840
Now get out.
431
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,430
Oh, my God, Mr B, you're a dark horse!
432
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:05,879
Scotty said you had a porn empire,
433
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,040
in your dead mother's house.
That's unbelievably sick.
434
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,832
It wasn't quite like that.
435
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,632
I can't believe you left me out!
436
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,069
If you wanted boys wanking off
on camera, I was born for that,
437
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,348
I've filmed myself loads of times.
438
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,118
- No, thank you, Dean.
- Have a look.
439
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,709
No, really, thank you. And they weren't...
440
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,795
wanking off.
441
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,751
You weren't there all the time.
442
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,472
- Oh. Really?
- That Tomasz kid,
443
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,192
he was touching up Meatballs.
444
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,674
Well, they're all grounded now, thank God.
445
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:32,120
Meatballs?!
446
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:33,593
Anyway, I'm not back till tomorrow.
447
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,074
I'm off to this thing in Crewe,
with the nudists.
448
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,031
A naked barbecue, it's asking for trouble.
449
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:39,399
I've got to drive him all the way there,
450
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,795
then drive all the way back
so I can go to work!
451
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,239
I hope he appreciates you.
452
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,793
I do! I love her, don't I, Scotts?
453
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:45,989
He does, he loves me.
454
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,678
- See ya, then!
- Bye!
455
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,799
Yes?
456
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:23,840
Hello.
457
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,073
Is that it?
458
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,918
I just wanted to say sorry.
About your mum and dad.
459
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,394
You pissed them off.
460
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,470
And that's brilliant!
461
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,080
Dad's climbing the walls.
462
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,758
It's the best thing you ever did.
463
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,313
D'you want some of this?
464
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:43,918
Um...
465
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,110
My mother gave us a whole crate.
466
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,550
Well, she gave it to me.
467
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,830
But I am democratic.
468
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,673
I'm going out.
469
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,278
She asked about...
470
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,636
...a teacher from my school.
471
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,438
Mr Pascoe.
472
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,359
Left his job and his wife overnight,
apparently.
473
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,949
My mother said,
' "He taught you, did you hear anything? '"
474
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:16,393
I said, ' "No, that's weird, he was nice.'"
475
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,078
Come and celebrate!
476
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,560
What the hell.
477
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,799
Here we go.
478
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,910
Nice place.
479
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,109
Very nice.
480
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,391
Yeah, we've been here six years,
although...
481
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:43,793
it's just me now.
482
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,159
So, this is it.
483
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,350
I haven't done anything complicated,
484
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,630
I've just got some nice fillet steak,
if that's OK?
485
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,830
- It's just the two of us?
- Yeah.
486
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,154
OK.
487
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,872
- Didn't I say?
- I dunno.
488
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,273
Can't we get a takeaway?
489
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,275
I've got steaks.
490
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,598
What, and potato dauphinoise?
It's a bit sort of...
491
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,995
sweet. I mean. For fuck.
492
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,080
- Have you got Sky?
- Yeah.
493
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,031
- Have you got movies?
- Yeah.
494
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:08,760
Let's just watch a film and get a Chinese.
495
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,595
That's fine. That's great.
I've got a menu in the kitchen.
496
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,313
- And... d'you want a glass?
- I will. I'll be civilised.
497
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,994
Won't be long!
498
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:07,190
Him!
499
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,468
OK. I can see he's handsome.
500
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,714
He's amazing.
501
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,637
I get that. Be fair. I'd do him.
502
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,829
I'd watch.
503
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:13,949
You dirty bastard.
504
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,155
I was quite old, I was 19. Is that old?
505
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,480
Who was he?
506
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:25,195
His name was James.
It wasn't anything special.
507
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,753
This big party.
508
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,631
A friend's house in Sale, everyone drunk,
509
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,797
we started out in that bedroom
that's always full of coats,
510
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,559
then we thought, ' "Not a good idea.'"
511
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,276
So we found this little boxroom.
512
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,993
All a bit... frantic.
513
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,473
No, thanks.
514
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,749
I was 14.
515
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,835
We used to go to this pub,
in Denton, it's closed now,
516
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,836
- there was a shooting.
- You posh boys(!)
517
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,440
Yeah! Roughing it!
518
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,716
The landlord knew we were 14,
he invited us in.
519
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,036
Free drinks. After hours. I realise now.
520
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,360
I didn't care - I was 14,
I wanted to do it with anyone.
521
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,399
So I did it with him, in the yard.
522
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,272
How old was he?
523
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,117
30s. 35... 36...
524
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,550
- An older man.
- Mm-hm.
525
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,636
There's always an older man.
526
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:25,555
He'd be my age now.
527
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,352
I'd do him again, if I saw him.
528
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,118
In his 40s?
529
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,160
Yeah.
530
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:40,795
It's Friday night, we should
go out on the piss, go and get laid.
531
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,637
I'm not moving. I'm full.
532
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:43,795
We can't just waste it!
533
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,752
You go out.
I've had a good time, I'm fine.
534
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,153
It's not like she even noticed, is it?
535
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,237
All the signs, staring at her,
not a fucking clue.
536
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,395
Who?
537
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,795
I couldn't have been more obvious!
Cathy. Catherine.
538
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,070
All those times
I was fucking about like crazy,
539
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,190
my wife didn't even notice!
540
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:00,719
I mean, what the fuck
was I supposed to do?!
541
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,830
All right. Calm down.
542
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,677
- That's nothing to do with me, OK?
- Why'd you ask me here?
543
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,517
Cos we're mates.
544
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:07,560
D'you fancy me?
545
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:09,919
- Oh, don't do that.
- I mean it, though.
546
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,190
Otherwise you're not being fair.
Do you fancy me?
547
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,834
It's kind of obvious, isn't it?
548
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:15,880
Is that a yes?
549
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:17,869
Yes!
550
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,990
Oh, you pussy.
551
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,314
Piss off!
552
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:24,793
D'you have a wank over me?
553
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,036
- That's enough.
- I fancy Jane, at work,
554
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,514
I toss off, thinking about her,
it's the most natural thing in the world.
555
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,073
So do you? Wank? Thinking about me?
556
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,031
Well, of course I do.
557
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,559
Oh, man!
558
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,794
It doesn't mean anything!
559
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,558
What do we do? In the wank?
560
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,477
- Shut up!
- No, but what do we do?
561
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,351
I dunno. We...
562
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,159
...have a Chinese and watch a film.
563
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,838
Ha-ha(!) And then what?
564
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,112
And then you fuck my arse, Daniel.
565
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,000
You fuck me all over the house,
all night long.
566
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,235
Never gonna happen.
567
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:56,508
I know.
568
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:57,595
Never gonna happen, mate.
569
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,114
Why not?
570
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,157
Who's gonna know? Cos, look,
571
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,316
you'll go home tonight
and have a wank over Jane.
572
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,953
Why not have more?
573
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,752
Why not have the works?
574
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,553
Why not go all the way
and have a fuck with someone
575
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,318
who could work you like magic,
576
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,511
so you're walking around
on Saturday morning, like, ' "Yes! '"
577
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:24,675
Remember that?
578
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,711
The morning after a fuck?
579
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:29,957
Who doesn't want that?
580
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:35,509
You've got me hard now.
581
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,312
What shall I do?
582
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,271
What d'you want me to do?
583
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,997
Don't take the piss out of me.
584
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:52,268
Fuck it!
585
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:19,960
Stay there.
586
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:44,880
No.
587
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,309
Oh, come on.
588
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,237
Don't.
589
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,111
- I'm so hard.
- Fucking don't!
590
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,472
Hands by your sides.
591
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,589
I'm so hard.
592
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:02,959
Hands by your sides.
593
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,553
Yeah.
594
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,389
Come on, then.
595
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,552
What a great cock.
596
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:25,874
Shut up.
597
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,592
That is such a good cock.
598
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,834
Stop it.
599
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,791
I want to suck that cock, yeah.
600
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:32,909
Shut the fuck up!
601
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,313
Ugh...
602
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,634
Ohh!
603
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,193
That'll do.
604
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,719
Nice.
605
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,478
You happy?
606
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,397
- Is it my turn now?
- No way.
607
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,948
You can lick that up, you fucking dog.
608
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,917
Oh, he was the best sex of my life.
609
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,154
You're only 24.
610
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,471
He was from Halifax.
611
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,318
Mmm! Student nurse.
612
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,590
It was like we just locked.
613
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,269
Y'know, like... when he's fucking you,
614
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,550
it can take a while, at the start,
615
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,034
cos you've got to kind of... sync.
616
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:26,399
Not him.
617
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,398
He went inside me like a machine.
618
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,035
Literally, he was shafting me
like a fucking piston,
619
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,832
and then we flipped it
and I fucked him and...
620
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,757
Ohh...
621
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,836
Oh, man!
622
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,589
I've got such a hard-on.
623
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,552
It's been a good week for me.
624
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,273
How do you mean?
625
00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:19,278
Fucking my dads off.
626
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,997
You can go.
627
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,320
Yeah.
628
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:04,680
- I'll see you at work, then.
- Yeah.
629
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,598
We could do that again. If you wanted.
630
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,392
I was just having a laugh, y'know?
631
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:12,714
Great.
632
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:14,994
Lf... that's OK?
633
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,110
I'd like it.
634
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,275
I'd like it a lot.
635
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,752
Thanks.
636
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,040
See you soon.
637
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,039
Hi there.
638
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:23,794
Hello.
639
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,515
Right, do you want a... a coffee?
I mean, another one, or?
640
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:28,560
No, I'm fine.
641
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,678
Right. Two ticks.
642
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,835
What can I get you?
643
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,871
Erm, a... a... skinny latte, thanks.
644
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:41,273
Regular.
645
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:56,514
You know what you should do, don't you?
646
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,039
I'll tell you what you should do!
647
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,274
You know what to do, don't you?
648
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,560
Do you know what you should do?
649
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,998
Go home.
650
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:06,995
Go home!
651
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,040
Just go home.
652
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,718
Go home.
653
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:21,317
One day, the entire human race
will come to an end
654
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,079
and the earth will be reduced to
a desolate wilderness,
655
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,429
and do you know why?
656
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,869
We'll be killed off by a virus.
657
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,309
And do you know where that
virus will come from?
658
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:34,269
A coffee shop.
659
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:38,950
It will mutate inside that filthy
little rag they use to wipe the steamer.
660
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,309
Those things are filthy!
661
00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:50,711
Marie had a go at me on Facebook.
662
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,955
- Good.
- She's just snide.
663
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:55,360
She loves me.
664
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,718
So... how's the flat?
How's life with Freddie?
665
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,639
It's good. We're... getting on.
666
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,434
We're kind of friends, now,
it's like we all just kind of...
667
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,869
And how's things
with this new boyfriend of yours?
668
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:14,429
Who told you?
669
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:15,674
Cleo.
670
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:17,950
She sounded pissed off.
What's been going on?
671
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,434
Maybe she should lead her own life,
instead of chasing after mine.
672
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:21,959
So, how old is he?
673
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,356
He's not really a boyfriend,
it's just a... thing, it wasn't even...
674
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:26,549
She said he's 40, is that right?
675
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,113
I've finished with him.
676
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:29,229
But he was 40?
677
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,998
He's gone.
678
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,831
The funny thing is, he was such a Tory.
Can you imagine Cleo?
679
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:37,836
Can you imagine me?!
680
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,030
- Cos he said...
- You left me, to run around
681
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,274
with boys in their 20s,
682
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,753
little blond boys in their pants.
683
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,519
That makes sense, I get it,
best of luck to you, Henry, great.
684
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,118
But if you're going out with
someone who's 40,
685
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,912
why aren't you going out with me?
686
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,040
I think...
687
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:57,840
Technically...
688
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,436
...I didn't leave you. I...
689
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:02,674
I walked away
690
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:05,109
- when you...
- All right,
691
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,880
whatever you say, Henry.
Whatever, whatever!
692
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,832
And he's gone.
693
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,074
I don't care!
694
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,790
Except, clearly, you do.
695
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,637
I'll just stop talking,
696
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,800
because you've got to have
the last word, haven't you?
697
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:22,880
So if I don't say anything,
then you can't, can you?
698
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,469
I asked her if you gave any money
to those boys. She said, ' "Yes.'"
699
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,637
- You paid the rent for that kid - Dean.
- Once!
700
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,035
It was £400, that's all,
701
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,355
- it was an unpaid bill.
- Well, then,
702
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,231
I'm not giving you your money back.
703
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,748
If that's why you wanted to meet me,
I'm not.
704
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,597
No.
705
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:47,789
That's not why.
706
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:49,880
Although...
707
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,956
since you introduced the subject,
let me say,
708
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,036
- it is definitely my money!
- Yes,
709
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,197
and I'm not gonna let you
throw it away on stupid little boys.
710
00:40:57,240 --> 00:41:00,118
If you get your life together,
I can keep giving you an allowance,
711
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,080
and then, in six months,
we can look at it again.
712
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,395
Because we'll have to sort out
the house by then.
713
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:05,793
In what way?
714
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,592
I want to buy your half, I suppose.
715
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:11,235
And that depends on work,
if I can move up a level.
716
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:12,280
Right.
717
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,751
You've really planned this.
718
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,552
Yeah.
719
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,679
It's not about the money.
720
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,713
So, why did you want to see me?
721
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:28,954
Although it really is mine.
722
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,752
Henry, what do you want?
723
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,038
I suppose...
724
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:37,274
I was thinking...
725
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,195
Oh, it's all been a bit...
726
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:43,873
...mental.
727
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:47,356
And...
728
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,118
I sort of got...
729
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,514
...lost... to be honest.
730
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,758
It's funny, cos someone asked me,
the other day, they said,
731
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:58,835
' "Do you know what you should do? '"
732
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:00,233
I've met someone.
733
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:03,034
OK.
734
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,513
He's nice.
735
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:06,989
Good.
736
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:18,920
Who is he?
737
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,109
Just...
738
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,476
...this bloke.
- Not that man from the date?
739
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:24,520
No, someone else.
740
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:25,913
How old?
741
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,916
36. Early days. Might be nothing.
742
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:30,798
But he's mad, he's completely mad.
743
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,116
God, I'd forgotten how mad men can be.
744
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,993
And... I mean, he's insane.
745
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,432
But I think there's a chance.
746
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,755
Are... Are you actually going out?
747
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,519
We're sort of... circling.
748
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,110
But he wants more, I think.
749
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,434
I do.
750
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,192
That's what I'd forgotten -
the adrenaline.
751
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,231
When a man gets inside
and fills your head and...
752
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,359
He is...
753
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,040
...beautiful.
754
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,918
Seriously.
755
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,393
That's good(!)
756
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,518
I can see why you did it.
757
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,913
Chasing after Freddie.
758
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,911
You make sense now!
759
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,075
Thank you.
760
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,955
It's still so important,
after all these years.
761
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,353
Cock.
762
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:31,760
Sorry.
763
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,796
What for?
764
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:35,875
You know.
765
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,472
We had all that time, and...
766
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:43,999
We had brilliant times.
767
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,553
Yeah, we did.
768
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,955
- We did so many things together.
- Yeah!
769
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,396
And there's so many things we didn't do.
770
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:57,990
You told me to wait.
I told you I wouldn't.
771
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,553
And...
772
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:00,919
here we are.
773
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,838
No, it's great, cos it's...
774
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,953
If you think...
775
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,479
All the things we ever...
776
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:11,878
You know...
777
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,638
I mean...
778
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,831
Good times and...
779
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,836
more of them!
780
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,679
I was just...
781
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:24,760
...kind of...
782
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,552
- Have you seen Raymond recently?
- No,
783
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,352
but I called him. He's OK,
784
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,152
he's not dying after all.
785
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:36,720
I never thought he was. He's an idiot!
786
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,236
Is that why you wanted to see me?
787
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:42,599
Raymond's health?
788
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,192
No.
789
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,912
So, what was it?
790
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,716
It was about the money.
791
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:01,954
OK.
792
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,000
So?
793
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,550
We'll have a look.
794
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,079
In six months.
795
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,439
That's not fair.
796
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:14,640
Are we done?
797
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,197
I think so.
798
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,115
I'll give you a call.
799
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:31,439
Nice to see you.
800
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:32,515
And you.
801
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,637
Good luck.
802
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,319
- He's lucky.
- Yeah,
803
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:39,634
he is.