1 00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,960 Everything you wanna know about vampires, it's right here. 2 00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:07,050 They have wellness fame bias now. 3 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:10,140 Stretch those hammies. Feel the burn. 4 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:11,837 She has changed my life. 5 00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:28,028 What if we let off some fireworks in here, huh? 6 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,551 Fireworks in the bar? 7 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,639 It's never been done before. Right? 8 00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,075 That could be kind of good, right? 9 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,077 You'll burn the place to the ground. 10 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,644 But Charlie is right, though. Like, we have to have 11 00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,167 - some kind of flair for this business meeting. - Yeah. 12 00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:38,777 This guy's a huge potential investor. 13 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,257 He could give Paddy's tons of money. 14 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,085 I know, we need pageantry. We need, uh-- 15 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,434 Oh, dude, I just thought of something. 16 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,957 What if it's not a guy? What if it's a woman? 17 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,090 If-if it's a woman, I got flowers prepped for her. 18 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,787 - Okay. - Oh. 19 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:52,269 And if it's a guy, I got a football ready for him. 20 00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:53,792 - Nice. Okay, that's good. - No, well-- No. 21 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:56,056 Hold on. What if it's a guy who hates football 22 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,058 - but loves flowers? - Right, right, right. 23 00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,190 - Or a woman who loves football but hates flowers? - Hates flowers. 24 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,365 Or a woman who was assigned 25 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,628 male gender at birth 26 00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:06,153 - but has retained her traditional love of the game? - Yes. 27 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,198 Which she has the right to do. 28 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:10,505 - That is her right... - Of course, it's 2021... That's fine. Yeah. 29 00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,811 Here's the bottom line, it's 2021, 30 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,900 all bets are off, okay? 31 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,685 - Uh, the chances of this person walking in... 32 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:19,731 and being your typical vanilla white guy are slim to none. 33 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,343 Hi. Sorry to interrupt. Uh, my-my name's Gary. 34 00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,475 I'm here to speak to the owners of Paddy's Pub. 35 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,695 - Uh-- Oh. - Oh, thank sweet Jesus. 36 00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,784 - All right! - Gary. - This is a relief. 37 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,090 Gary. 38 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,482 - It is so good to see you. 39 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,310 This I can wrap my head around. 40 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,095 Uh, Gary, we're gonna set up over here. 41 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,487 - All right. Yeah. - We'll take care of you. 42 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,359 We got together, we got you a little gift here, 43 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,449 a token of our appreciation, and, uh-- from the pub. 44 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,886 - Yeah, that's from us to you, so... - Yeah, from us to you. Uh... 45 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,370 Oh, uh, thank you. 46 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,155 All right. That's a relief. 47 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,462 All right, well, now that we all know that we see eye to eye, 48 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:57,160 let's talk about you giving us that PPP loan, huh? 49 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,510 Oh, I'm so sorry. Uh, there must be some confusion. 50 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,773 I'm not here to hand out PPP loans. 51 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:04,341 I'm here to collect on ones you already have. 52 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,170 Um, in fact, as I believe, it's three separate loans, 53 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,651 so I'll just need to know, uh, what you did with the money 54 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,871 and what the business has been up to for the past year. 55 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,180 - Uh-huh. - Yep. - Oh. 56 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:42,162 Gary, we saw 2020 as a year to, um, well, I don't know, 57 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,294 capitalize on our many various interests. 58 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,817 - Yeah, we got a lot of 'em, you know? - Hey, when the world 59 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:48,211 - says slow, we say go. - That's right. 60 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,778 - Or strike. Or attack. Yeah, yeah. Well, see, normally, 61 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:52,128 we're running a thriving bar here, you know what I mean? 62 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,390 Oh, yeah. - Yeah. But, uh, COVID forced us 63 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,740 to close our doors to the community, so... 64 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,394 - Yeah. - What were we gonna do? - We had to branch out. 65 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,570 - That's what we did. - So why don't we just, uh, 66 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,704 talk about the first loan, which is "Punch Incorporated"? 67 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,880 Yeah. - Oh, yeah. That was, uh, that was Mac and I. 68 00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,969 - So why don't we, uh...? Okay. - Yeah. 69 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,623 - That's a cool name, isn't it? 70 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,364 - It's a very, uh, aggressive name. - It's very cool. 71 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:13,976 As an out-of-work bouncer, I was looking to pursue 72 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,718 my other interests that would be as intellectually stimulating 73 00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:19,329 as choking out a jabroni and leaving him out in the street. 74 00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:21,810 Like my longtime dream of becoming 75 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:24,421 an international country teen pop sensation. 76 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:28,991 ♪ Girl, you give me feels when I see them heels♪ 77 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,950 ♪ Let's ride on a horse, making love out in the fields♪ 78 00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,126 ♪ Out in the fields♪ 79 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,128 ♪ Let me be your guy♪ 80 00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:39,262 ♪ Never mind them flies♪ 81 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,830 -♪ Just get on the horse and...♪ - Uh, wait, wait. 82 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,658 Hold-hold on a second, wh-- All right, man, look, 83 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,921 the-the music is starting to come together. 84 00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:47,879 I-I like the music, but I'm-I'm struggling with the lyrics. 85 00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,578 - What's wrong with the lyrics? It's the fly thing. 86 00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,319 Well, horses have flies. That makes sense. 87 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:55,017 Yeah, but the lyric is, "Let me be your guy, 88 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,845 never mind them flies." 89 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,281 It feels like I'm asking her to forget the flies 90 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,066 that are surrounding me, not the horse. 91 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,939 ♪ Never mind them thighs.♪ 92 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,984 - Th-Thighs? Where-- What? Why thighs? - Yeah. Yeah. 93 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,335 - Whose thighs? - Yeah, well, maybe he's got thick, grotesque thighs 94 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,945 - and he's embarrassed about 'em. - Look... 95 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,295 There's a bigger problem, man. Can I be honest with you? 96 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,211 I'm having trouble concentrating on any of this stuff, 97 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,213 - because I can't stop thinking about the election. - The election. 98 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,215 - The election. Yes. Oh, my God. - Yes. Ah-- 99 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,043 Yes. I-I was, like, right there with you. 100 00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:23,915 I-I can't focus on any of our... 101 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,178 - The integrity of the election, right? Because I-I... - Yes. Yes. 102 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,615 - Our democracy is at stake. - Yeah. 103 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,094 I feel like things aren't going well with the election 104 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:31,314 - and-and we need to get involved. - Mm-hmm. 105 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,576 You know, we were concerned that our guy 106 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,404 wasn't gonna get a fair shot in the election. 107 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,666 Of course not, because he's an outsider 108 00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,059 that brings a fresh perspective 109 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,321 to Washington. Right? 110 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,627 - Right. - I mean, we-- 111 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,629 not everybody likes him, but that's why we do. 112 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,370 Yeah, and we were really worried that the mainstream media 113 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,328 just wasn't taking him seriously. 114 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,938 It's like, do I want a bunch of eggheads 115 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,505 who spend all day learning about shit 116 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,725 influencing how I think about things? No. 117 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:53,075 No, no. Plus, you want a guy who's lived a little, right? 118 00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,816 You want a guy who knows how to party. 119 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:57,471 - And our guy knows how to party. Right? 120 00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,082 - Yeah. - Our guy parties. 121 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,605 Anyway, it was obvious that the integrity 122 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,781 of the election was at stake here. 123 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,435 So that's why we wanted to make sure 124 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,263 that things went smoothly at the polling place. 125 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,439 - Right. - Hence, we created Punch Incorporated. 126 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,442 So, we used the loan to buy tactical gear. 127 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,402 Oh. Look at this one, with the New York hat. 128 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,925 She got bussed in from that liberal hellscape? 129 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,622 All right, let's go find out. 130 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:19,797 - Let's talk to her. Excuse me, ma'am? - Ma'am? 131 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,364 - Ma'am, yes. Hi. 132 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,844 - Ma'am. - Are you, uh, registered to vote here? 133 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,019 - Ma'am? - Are you from Philly? 134 00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,542 - Huh? - Yeah, and we don't want to see 135 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,109 - any of that bogus fake I.D. bullshit. - Yeah. 136 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:29,111 We're gonna ask you a series of Philly-related questions 137 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,068 - in no particular order. - Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,983 Why do we hate Chris Chelios? 139 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,377 Who is Uncle Eddie Savitz? 140 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,641 Who is a better athlete, Donovan McNabb or Rocky Balboa? 141 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,426 - Where is...? - Hey-- Whoa. Well, hold on a second. 142 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:42,385 I mean, that's too easy. McNabb, obviously. 143 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,300 - I... - Well, I don't think it's that obvious. 144 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,867 I mean, do you think Donovan McNabb 145 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,391 could go toe-to-toe with Ivan Drago for 15 rounds? 146 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,393 Uh, no, what I'm saying is that Rocky Balboa 147 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,090 is a fictional character, so this isn't even a conversation. 148 00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:54,615 Are you-- Are you saying you want Sly Stallone 149 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,921 to be the starting QB for the Eagles next season? 150 00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,619 - How do you think that's gonna go? - Well, what year is it? 151 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:01,535 Is it early 1980s? 'Cause the NFC East was not strong, 152 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,711 and I say that Sly takes us to the playoffs. 153 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,408 Sly Stallone is just a meatball actor. 154 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,540 Then why do we make statues to him? 155 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:07,628 We don't-- Okay, hold on a sec. 156 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,630 Wait, just... You're crazy. 157 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:12,589 Okay, the guy is five-foot-nine, okay, to start with-- 158 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:13,895 And by the way, that's a celebrity listing. 159 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,636 He's probably closer to five-foot-four. 160 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,507 So was Doug Flutie. You saying he's an actor? 161 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,726 - No, I'm say... - He's one of the greatest 162 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,902 football players that Canada ever produced. 163 00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,904 So-so, I'm sorry, now you're comparing McNabb 164 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,514 to a teeny-tiny little man 165 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,560 who's, uh, named after a woodwind instrument? 166 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:27,952 - What are we even talking about, man? - Hey, what's up, Brian? 167 00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,476 - Good to see you again. - Brian. 168 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,869 What's going on? Y-You want us to, um... 169 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:33,175 You want us back at the hundred feet? 170 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,742 He wants us back at the hundred feet. 171 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:35,960 We're gonna be less effective back there, but... 172 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,136 The problem is, back there, we can't... 173 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:39,877 - we can't keep a-- Yeah. - Okay. All right. 174 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,183 - We'll go back to the hundred. - Let's-let's-- We're gonna... 175 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:43,403 Hey, you want to go-- grab you a coffee? 176 00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,100 We got-- We'll grab him a coffee. - We'll grab you a coffee, 177 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,710 - and then we'll be back, but... - Thanks for keeping things safe. 178 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,059 - We'll stay a little bit further away. - We'll keep things safe. 179 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,234 Suffice to say, our arguing 180 00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,019 did not help the situation. 181 00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:53,108 Yeah, it turns out they had their own security there 182 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,415 - to keep things safe, and they just kicked us right out. 183 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:56,981 Anyway, the point is, 184 00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,940 the country was in turmoil, okay? Tensions were high, 185 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,770 so Mac and I decided to pivot to a less controversial approach. 186 00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:03,814 Yeah, we went with gaining exposure 187 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,903 for our budding musical interests 188 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,297 as well as providing people with an opportunity 189 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,691 - to vote on another pressing matter. - Mm-hmm. 190 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,606 ♪ Freedom is the choice you have♪ 191 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,999 ♪ Is it Rocky or McNabb?♪ 192 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,088 ♪ Cast your vote and make it clear♪ 193 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,700 ♪ Place your voting choice in here♪ 194 00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,832 ♪ Place your voting choice in here♪ 195 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,444 ♪ Place your voting choice in here♪ 196 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:28,448 ♪ Place your voting choice right up in here♪ 197 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:35,846 ♪ Right here.♪ 198 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,108 Pop your votes 199 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,719 right in that box there, folks. 200 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,634 - If you want them votes to count. - That's right. 201 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,288 Now, uh, let's, uh, let's take it one more time from the top 202 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,681 before Brian Security gets here. 203 00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,553 - Yep. Let's do it. Here we go. - Yep. 204 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,946 Now, the labeling... in hindsight, 205 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,819 was a-a bit obtuse and created a-a great deal of confusion. 206 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,908 It kind of backed up the whole system. 207 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,300 Right. Yeah, there was a whole kerfuffle-- 208 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,780 I don't know if you remember this-- 209 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,129 about, like, what votes were supposed to be counted 210 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,044 and what votes aren't gonna be counted. 211 00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:01,219 And are these legitimate votes, are these not legitimate votes? 212 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:02,699 What's this, what's that? 213 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,919 I mean, we put our boxes all over the damn place. 214 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,530 So, you know, we created a mess. 215 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,053 I'm sorry, let me, let me try to get this straight. 216 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,142 So you're saying that you might be partially responsible 217 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:14,145 for the voting count delays in the presidential election? 218 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:17,453 Uh, no, no, I'm saying we might have been entirely responsible, 219 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,064 uh, for the vote delays, but wha-what I'm also saying is that 220 00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:22,850 we were two American businessmen who took out a legitimate loan 221 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,286 for a legitimate business. 222 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:25,548 Uh, well, now that we've got that settled, 223 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,202 uh, I'll tell you what, 224 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,682 why don't, um, why don't we play you 225 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,553 a couple of our original songs, 226 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,555 loosely based on the chord progressions 227 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,514 - of Emerson, Lake and Palmer? - Mmm. 228 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,037 - N-No. - Yes. 229 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,473 - No. I think we should just... - Yes. 230 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,431 Actually, let's just keep moving on 231 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:40,389 to-to the next loan, if that's okay. 232 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,046 Uh, so, uh, "Frank's Imports and Exports." 233 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,352 - Oh, that's this guy. I'm gonna get a beer. - Boom. 234 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,572 Go. What do you want to know? 235 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,791 Uh, what were you importing? 236 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,010 Inks, grease, paste. 237 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,664 Sludges in general. 238 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,579 Sludges, I see. All right. 239 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,928 And, uh, what were you exporting? 240 00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:58,973 Hair dye. 241 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,977 Frank, I'm worried about you, man. 242 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,022 You're hitting it way too hard, pal. 243 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,024 I was going hard. 244 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:10,854 When society hits the brakes, I hit the gas, baby. 245 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:14,554 Society break, I got gas. 246 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:17,426 What? If you have gas, take it out in the hall, okay? 247 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,341 Also, I need another bucket. I'm out of paint here. 248 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,082 - Where... - I got no more buckets. 249 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:22,039 Look, I shouldn't even be doing this, man. 250 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,693 Uh, y-- It looks terrible. 251 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:25,608 You should get this done in, like, a salon or something. 252 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,045 Salons are closed. 253 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,830 I got to go, got to go, got to go, got to go. 254 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,353 - Got to go? Where you going? - Yeah, I got to go. 255 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,789 That's only half-- You look crazy, dude. 256 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,052 - Where you going? - I'm out. 257 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,664 What... Well, take a mask, will you? 258 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,492 - I mean, you got one? - I got-- Yes, I got a mask. 259 00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,364 - You got to wear it, though, Frank. - It's on. I got it on. 260 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,279 Yeah, but you got to cover your nose, dude. 261 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:45,933 You got to... 262 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,978 Why does nobody old know how to wear a mask? 263 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,633 I was sick of staying inside. 264 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,896 So I went to my favorite bookstore to clear my head. 265 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,204 Fortunately, my favorite bookstore never closes, 266 00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,510 and they never judge their customers. 267 00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,295 Oh, hey, you got to wear a mask. 268 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,950 I got a mask. 269 00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,299 - Oh, I didn't see it. - Right. 270 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,083 - You're good. - Thank you. 271 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,172 So I grabbed a few titles 272 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:11,349 and I went in the back to do some light reading. 273 00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:14,265 There I was, staring at my idols, 274 00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:19,662 Peter North, T.T. Boy, the late, great D.J. Ram. 275 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:22,360 And that's when I noticed it. 276 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:25,668 The bad dye job. Who had I become? 277 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,497 I was letting the pandemic get the best of me. 278 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,194 It had taken my manhood. 279 00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,587 Well, I went home 280 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,198 and immediately did something about it. 281 00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:36,418 After I popped off. 282 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:40,683 I got right to work on creating the perfect hair dye. 283 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,425 Shoe polish, India ink, 284 00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:44,905 permanent marker. 285 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,516 I tried 'em all. 286 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,910 Until I finally hit pay dirt. 287 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,694 Whoa. 288 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:54,349 Chinese motor oil. 289 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,090 -Bingo. - Bingo. 290 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:59,049 For the first time in a long time, 291 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,704 I felt like somebody again. 292 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,967 I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste. 293 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,796 I opened a chair. 294 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,974 I became the most sought-after underground hair stylist 295 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:14,195 for like-minded older men yearning 296 00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,546 for a sense of community during the pandemic. 297 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:21,898 I had my PPP loan, and business was booming. 298 00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:27,469 ♪ Ooh, a storm is threatening♪ 299 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,385 ♪ My very life today♪ 300 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:36,478 ♪ If I don't get some shelter♪ 301 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,785 ♪ Ooh, yeah, I'm gonna fade away♪ 302 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:43,180 ♪ War, children♪ 303 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:47,576 ♪ It's just a shot away, it's just a shot away♪ 304 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:51,885 ♪ War, children♪ 305 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,844 ♪ It's just a shot away, it's just a shot away...♪ 306 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,977 Then one day, this guy comes in. 307 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,761 Not even the usual clientele. 308 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:01,590 Didn't even look at the magazines. 309 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:04,419 Said he just needed a place to cool off. 310 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,377 Next thing you know, he's in my chair. 311 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,815 We talked about the election, 312 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:13,080 and our mutual disdain for insider Beltway politics. 313 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:16,344 He wasn't from the neighborhood. 314 00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,825 Said he was in from New York, doing some business 315 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:22,306 at a fancy hotel down the street. 316 00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,830 He said his boss was a very connected man 317 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,789 who needed a situation fixed. 318 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:30,793 And this poor bastard was in the eye of the shitstorm. 319 00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:33,665 I did him up real nice. 320 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:36,190 Little did I know, my work was about to be 321 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,974 in the national spotlight, 322 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:41,108 on the head of America's mayor, 323 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,546 Rudolph William Giuliani. 324 00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:48,289 I was proud of how my work stood up in the spotlight. 325 00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:50,900 He became my biggest client. 326 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:53,250 Funny thing about the spotlight, though, 327 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:55,122 sometimes it burns too bright. 328 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,432 And that was the moment I knew it was coming to an end. 329 00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,870 It was my own fault. I got sloppy. 330 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:06,960 Started cutting corners, using American motor oil. 331 00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:10,137 And to top it off, my guy didn't win the election. 332 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,140 The whole thing was a fiasco. 333 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,925 I-I blame myself. 334 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,318 Wait, y-- so you're saying that the hair dye 335 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:18,841 that's dripping down your face 336 00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,061 is the same dye used by Rudolph Giuliani 337 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,019 during the presidential election? 338 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,020 Yeah. 339 00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:28,372 Okay. Let's just move on to the next loan. 340 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,766 Um, a clothing line. Something called 341 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,246 "Garments and Varmints"? 342 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,856 - Yo! That's us. Yeah. - Yep. Yeah. 343 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,553 Yeah, th-the name's a little confusing, 344 00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:37,642 'cause it did end up being mostly costumes. 345 00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,253 Yeah, yeah, but it's not really confusing, you know, 346 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,342 because varmints definitely played, like, a key role in it. 347 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:42,865 - So it's not confusing. - Oh, it's confusing. 348 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,824 - It's incredibly confusing. - I'm sorry. 349 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:45,650 - But we can go on. - Yeah. Yeah. 350 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,174 Uh, I am confused. 351 00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,349 Well, of course, you're confused, Gary. 352 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,350 That's 'cause you're not a moron. 353 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:54,485 All right, let me explain what happened here, all right? 354 00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:57,140 - We've been on top of each other for a long time. - Yeah. 355 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,707 We bubbled together during the pandemic 356 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,665 because, well, we're both essential workers at the bar. 357 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,277 Yeah, yeah. Charlie and I, we're the last tit on the hog 358 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,713 before the asshole. 359 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,892 I am so sorry for my partner's blue language. 360 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,676 It-it does not represent our business, 361 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,896 - and it's extremely off-putting. - It was just a joke. 362 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,725 Just stop. Okay. 363 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,292 The point is, we were pretty deep in the pandemic 364 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:22,513 when we, uh, we got a pretty good idea. 365 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,907 We were gonna sell masks. 366 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,388 The world needed masks, and once our loan came in, 367 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,172 we got all kinds of materials. 368 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,087 Only, there was one problem. 369 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,308 Bam. Check that one out. 370 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,092 - What the hell is that? - That's a mask. 371 00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,615 Yeah, of Ronald Reagan, but... 372 00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:40,749 Ronald Reagan? That's Dennis. 373 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,969 - That's not Dennis? - Whether it's Dennis or Ronald Reagan, 374 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,535 i-it's not gonna stop the spread of COVID. 375 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,189 Stop COVID? 376 00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,799 Well, we don't need any more of those kind of masks. 377 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,366 Everybody's making those masks. 378 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,715 Well, they-they're trying, right? 379 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:51,934 But, see, my angle is, mine are funny. 380 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,936 Look, at this. 381 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,285 "Fauch the Grouch." 382 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,026 - Right? 383 00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:59,202 - Fau-- That's a great name. Who is that? - I know. 384 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,943 "Fauch." 385 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,597 Okay, how about this one? 386 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,033 "Mama needs wine." 387 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,382 - Right? And this is funny 388 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,384 'cause women are alcoholics who hate their kids. 389 00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:09,430 Yeah, yeah. But I-- you're, like, 390 00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,214 you're missing the big picture here, Dee. 391 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,694 - Right? 'Cause, dude... - What do you mean? 392 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,478 ...the real money is in the Halloween costume space. 393 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,959 Think about it, man. Everyone's been stuck together at home, 394 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,047 they're all worried and shit. 395 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,135 They're gonna want to come together 396 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,528 at the end of next year, so, like, 397 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,356 Halloween store owners, they're gonna be, like, 398 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,358 some of the richest people in America, Dee. 399 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:25,707 We're not gonna do that. We're not gonna do-- 400 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,100 Let's just do the medical mask thing. 401 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,753 Uh, number one, it's easier, and number two, 402 00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,320 - it actually makes sense. Right? - Okay. All right. 403 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,061 - Well, fine, we'll try your thing. - Logical. 404 00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:33,671 - Okay, fine. - Okay. 405 00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,369 Anyway, we made the stupid masks, 406 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,066 but the next challenge was marketing them. 407 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:39,373 Sweetie, if you're not gonna help me homeschool these kids, 408 00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,027 can you please at least do the dishes? 409 00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,725 I need to drink wine. 410 00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:46,771 I know you do, but, honey, I got you a gift. 411 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,730 You did? What? 412 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,993 A custom-made mask. 413 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:59,001 Are you looking to party this Halloween? 414 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,003 Are you sick of being jerked around by the fat cats 415 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,005 in the Halloween industry? 416 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:06,400 Then we've got the fix for you. Garments and Varmints. 417 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,402 And now it's all starting to make sense, right? 418 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:09,969 Wh-What? No. 419 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,753 It makes less sense than it did in the beginning. 420 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,668 - You're telling it wrong. - Gary gets it. 421 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:14,843 - No, I-I don't get it. Point is, 422 00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,366 for reasons we would find out 423 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:17,933 much later, we did end up getting a rather sizable order 424 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,240 for costumes from one group. 425 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,242 Yeah, uh-huh, and these guys were out of state, right, 426 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,895 -and they wanted them really fast. - We were in a rush. 427 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,375 So we were stressed out. 428 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,029 Now, luckily, I was pretty handy with the old girl, 429 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,249 so we were able to fill out most of the order. 430 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,728 Although we were running out of material. 431 00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:33,035 - Okay, what else do we need? - What? 432 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,819 - What else do we need? - Uh, uh, pelts. 433 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,821 - Get more pelts. - What pelts? 434 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,041 The pelts! The pelts, you bitch! 435 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,826 - Pelts for what? - Oh, you bitch. 436 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,567 You insufferable bitch. 437 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,569 I d-- Am I supposed to even know what that means? 438 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:46,701 - Animal pelts! - What are we doing with animal pelts? 439 00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,181 I can't sew without the pelts! 440 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,312 Get the pelts, you bitch! 441 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,010 Yeah, now, normally, 442 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,054 I don't call Dee a bitch. 443 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,534 That's sort of Dennis's thing. 444 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,102 - Dee's a goddamn bitch! Yeah. Uh, 445 00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,712 but, you know, her vulgar language was rubbing off on me, 446 00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,149 you know, which wasn't a good look for the business. 447 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,933 The pelts that Charlie's referring to, 448 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,239 they're from raccoons that he was tanning 449 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,501 in the basement of this bar. 450 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,068 Yeah, well, you see, 451 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,374 the pandemic had kind of disrupted 452 00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:08,984 the bar's natural ecosystem. 453 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,333 There was a real uptick in raccoons, 454 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,900 which consider rat brains a delicacy, 455 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,033 which of-of course you know, Gary, 456 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,686 - and now it's all starting to make sense. - It doesn't make sense. 457 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,514 At least now he understands why we called the business 458 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,386 - Garments and Varmints. - He doesn't care what we call 459 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:20,300 - the business. - I believe that the man does! 460 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,215 I'm taking over the whole story! 461 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:25,305 - Okay? - Please go ahead. 462 00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,568 It took us three hours, but we finally arrived 463 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:30,179 at the place where we were gonna meet the customer. 464 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,531 - Gentlemen. You got the stuff? 465 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,577 - Absolutely. Give me one minute. - Hey. 466 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,362 Digging that face paint. Very festive. 467 00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,885 What are you gentlemen celebrating? 468 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:43,192 We're protesting the election. - Yeah! 469 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,367 Okay, well, I can get behind that, 470 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:45,760 'cause our guy did not get a fair shake. 471 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,370 - Oh. The whole thing is a sham. 472 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,372 - Yeah, our guy got screwed, man. - Sham. 473 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,679 Okay, so there's the costumes. 474 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,376 I'm especially proud of the stitching on the animal skins. 475 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,378 - That was all Charlie. - You know what I'd like to do? 476 00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:58,599 Uh, I'd love to throw in this cool hat for free. 477 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,383 I think it really completes the look. 478 00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,298 - Let's see. - You know? Let's see it there. 479 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,822 Oh, shit. He's right. - Yeah. 480 00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,869 Thanks, brother. 481 00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:10,263 Now let's go save this country! 482 00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:13,440 - All right. 483 00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:16,399 Uh, they all seemed pretty amped up. 484 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:18,314 But we were, too. I mean, people have been dragging 485 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,838 our guy's name through the mud, saying he wasn't fit for office. 486 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:23,406 Yeah, calling him a narcissist, saying he was mentally ill, 487 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,842 and that all the people who showed up 488 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,192 - for his events were idiots. - Yeah, but that's 'cause 489 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,845 they've never seen the guy onstage. 490 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,935 - I mean, he's electrifying onstage. - Yeah. 491 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,069 All right, I'm sorry, let me... try to make sense of this. 492 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,289 You're telling me that you provided the iconic costumes 493 00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:37,855 at the Capitol riots? 494 00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,988 - Yeah. - Yep. 495 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,251 Can't say they weren't good costumes, Gary. 496 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,166 - They were great costumes. - Isn't that something? Isn't that something? 497 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,168 Well, uh, listen, now that we've cleared up 498 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,127 all those previous loans, uh, we would like to talk to you 499 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:52,305 - about giving us a new loan for Paddy's Pub. Okay... 500 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,176 - Oh my G-- What was that? - Oh, sorr-- 501 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,482 Firework. Almost got you, pal. 502 00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,613 Sorry about that. 503 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,919 - Fire. - Oh! 504 00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:58,920 Huh? What? 505 00:18:58,963 --> 00:18:59,964 Shit, I see it. All right. 506 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,836 Uh, I got it. I got it. 507 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,664 I got it. Sorry, everyone. All right. 508 00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,193 Uh, sorry about that, everybody. 509 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,977 Probably shouldn't have done that in the bar. 510 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,370 - Oh, is that right? - Yeah, I'm sorry, guys. 511 00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,850 - Yeah. All right, well... - I was trying to get 512 00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,460 a little fanfare for the-the loan. 513 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:18,983 It was prett-- It was kind of cool. 514 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,855 Um, so, hey, listen, um, 515 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,597 listen, we really do believe that with a major cash infusion, 516 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,729 - we could turn this bar into something... - No, no, no. 517 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,731 -...even more successful than it already... - No, no, no. Stop. 518 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,080 I-I have heard enough. 519 00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,995 You people have shamelessly gamed the system 520 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:33,694 out of massive amounts of taxpayer dollars 521 00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:36,827 for fictitious businesses that have gone bankrupt, 522 00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:39,090 and still you have the nerve to ask for more money? 523 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,440 Well, that's what makes America 524 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:41,745 the greatest country in the world. 525 00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,356 When you're in need, the government comes in 526 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,445 - and bails you out. - Nothing made me more money 527 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,708 than businesses I sent into bankruptcy. 528 00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:50,101 - Yes-- Yeah, yeah. - That's the American way. 529 00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,755 - That's as American as it gets right there. 530 00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,192 That's right, and maybe if our guy had won, 531 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,150 our businesses could succeed just like his. 532 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,412 - They would've been huge hits. - Oh, absolutely. 533 00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:58,109 - Yeah. - I think so. 534 00:19:58,153 --> 00:20:00,068 No, no, no, I-I-- No... 535 00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,418 None of these idiotic businesses would have been successful 536 00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,290 whether Trump had won or lost. 537 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,293 - Huh? - Okay. - Trump? 538 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,338 - Yeah. I'm sorry... - Yeah, wh-why are you talking about Trump? 539 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:10,948 - Where'd you get that? - Yeah, how are you getting to that? 540 00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:13,386 Uh, "Washington outsider, not taken seriously 541 00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:16,345 "by the liberal media, successful businessman, 542 00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,782 unsuccessful in love, electrifying onstage." 543 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,610 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, that's our guy. 544 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:21,785 - Yeah, yeah, that's him. - Absolutely. Yeah. 545 00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:24,223 - That's Kanye. Kanye West. - Kanye West. 546 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,180 - He's our guy. - Have you seen him onstage? 547 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,877 Yeah. 548 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,749 Wait, Kanye West? 549 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,968 You all voted for Kanye West? 550 00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,970 - Oh, absolutely. - Damn right. - 100%, pal. 551 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,537 - You've seen him onstage? - All the way. - Yeah, man. 552 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,147 He's the best. He's the best. 553 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:38,759 No. I do not believe you. 554 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:41,588 I do not believe any of you. None of this happened. 555 00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,025 There is no way that you were all involved 556 00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,940 in every major event of the past year. 557 00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:48,116 - Wh-Why? - Why? 558 00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:49,813 Because you're not Forrest Gump! 559 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,861 You'll be hearing from the IRS. 560 00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:00,433 - Okay. - I don't... I don't like him. 561 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,999 I don't think he's gonna give us the loan. 562 00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,001 - I don't think we're gonna get the loan, either. - No. 563 00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:06,308 You know what we should do? Let's listen to some Kanye West. 564 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,049 - Ow! - That's what we should do. 565 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,268 That's gonna bring the mood back up. 566 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,879 We all should be listening to Kanye West. 567 00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:14,838 -♪ She give me money♪ -♪ Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger♪ 568 00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:17,014 -♪ When I'm in need♪ -♪ But she ain't messin' with no broke, broke♪ 569 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:19,800 ♪ Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger♪ 570 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:22,672 -♪ When I'm in need♪ -♪ But she ain't messin' with no broke, broke♪ 571 00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:25,371 -♪ I got to leave♪ -♪ Get down girl, go 'head, get down♪ 572 00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,808 -♪ I got to leave♪ -♪ Get down, girl, go 'head, get down♪ 573 00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:30,680 -♪ I got to leave♪ -♪ Get down, girl, go 'head, get down♪ 574 00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:32,900 -♪ I got to leave♪ -♪ Get down, girl, go 'head...♪ 575 00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:35,990 Stop the count! Stop the count! 576 00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:37,861 ♪ With a baby Louis Vuitton under her underarm♪ 577 00:21:37,905 --> 00:21:39,036 ♪ She said, "I can tell you rock ♪ 578 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,603 ♪ "I can tell by your charm♪ 579 00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:42,170 ♪ "Far as girls, you got a flock♪ 580 00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:43,998 ♪ I can tell by your charm and your arm"♪ 581 00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:46,130 ♪ But I'm lookin' for the one, have you seen her?♪ 582 00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:48,698 ♪ My psychic told me she'll have a ... like Serena♪ 583 00:21:48,742 --> 00:21:51,353 ♪ Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids♪ 584 00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:54,138 ♪ And I got to take all they bad ... to ShowBiz?♪ 585 00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:56,663 ♪ Okay, get your kids, but then they got their friends♪ 586 00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:58,969 ♪ I pulled up in the Benz, they all got up in♪ 587 00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:01,581 ♪ We all went to din and then I had to pay♪ 588 00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:03,931 ♪ If you ... with this girl, then you better be paid♪ 589 00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:07,021 ♪ You know why? It take too much to touch her♪ 590 00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:09,371 ♪ From what I heard, she got a baby by Busta♪ 591 00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:12,200 ♪ My best friend said she used to ... with Usher♪ 592 00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:14,507 ♪ I don't care what none of y'all say, I still love her♪ 593 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,639 ♪ Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...♪ 594 00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:32,176 Sunny's back. 595 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:33,743 I wanna go somewhere exotic. 596 00:22:33,787 --> 00:22:35,179 Ireland baby! 597 00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:36,485 An all new season. 598 00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:38,487 Do you mind if I go sample some of your jellies? 599 00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:39,706 No, no. Help yourself. 600 00:22:39,749 --> 00:22:41,795 Delightful. 601 00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:43,884 A banquet... What? 602 00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:44,972 Ew! 603 00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:46,539 Whoa! 604 00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,192 [YELLS]...and murder. 605 00:22:48,236 --> 00:22:50,325 Wait, what? 606 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,197 All right, this is why Irish people hate America. 607 00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:55,461 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. 608 00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:58,681 All new. Wednesdays at 10:00 on FXX. 609 00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:02,642 Listen up, because I'm about to blow your minds. 610 00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:06,428 Just exercising. 611 00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:07,516 - Seriously? - Fire. 612 00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:10,998 Is that a lower back tattoo? 613 00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,042 Yes, the Fresh Prince one. 614 00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:14,741 What happened to this country? 615 00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:18,135 Marcy is stronger than revenge. 616 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:23,880 Bravo. 617 00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:31,801 No one has seen a stolen food truck, would ya? 618 00:23:31,845 --> 00:23:33,934 Um... no. 619 00:23:33,977 --> 00:23:35,892 Someone stole a truck. Broad daylight. 620 00:23:35,936 --> 00:23:37,372 Put your seatbelt on. - Seatbelt? 621 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,853 Put your seatbelt on - or we're not leaving. - Jeez! 622 00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:41,681 Your good thieves. Best in town. 623 00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:42,769 Thank you. 624 00:23:42,812 --> 00:23:43,944 It is a small town. 625 00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:48,078 It is hard to be a warrior with dignity.