1
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Hi, um, I'm here to see Chuck Palmer.

2
00:00:38,593 --> 00:00:40,382
- Hannah Horvath.
- 4B.

3
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:41,588
Thanks.

4
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,716
Yeah, mm-hmm.

5
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,793
- Hi. Hannah,
- Hi, I'm Hannah...

6
00:01:28,799 --> 00:01:32,132
Hannah. Yeah, I know.
It's, uh, nice to meet you.

7
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- Shoes-off household, or...
- Ah, yes.

8
00:01:34,613 --> 00:01:37,878
- Sorry, I'm... I'm that asshole now.
- Oh, yeah.

9
00:01:37,884 --> 00:01:39,870
I mean, yeah, I ha... I have my, uh,

10
00:01:39,876 --> 00:01:42,087
special slippers, but,
uh, these are just for me.

11
00:01:42,093 --> 00:01:46,165
Um, if you could put them in the same
line as the others, that'd be great.

12
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- Of course, yeah.
- Yeah.

13
00:01:48,687 --> 00:01:50,625
Um... I'm sorry. If they could...

14
00:01:50,631 --> 00:01:53,316
if they could not touch the suede
boots. It's just a whole thing.

15
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Thank you.

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00:01:58,328 --> 00:02:02,288
Sync and Corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com

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Are you sure I can't take your bag?

24
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,091
No, I'm good, thanks.

25
00:02:29,097 --> 00:02:30,984
How about your red tote bag?

26
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:33,373
I'll hold on to this, too. I'm
not planning on staying so long.

27
00:02:33,378 --> 00:02:35,964
Sure, fine. Yeah. Here, sit.

28
00:02:43,472 --> 00:02:45,385
It was, um...

29
00:02:45,972 --> 00:02:47,499
it's good of you to show.

30
00:02:47,505 --> 00:02:50,059
Well, I wasn't gonna not
show. I was just surprised.

31
00:02:50,065 --> 00:02:51,942
Surprised, what, that I wanted to talk?

32
00:02:51,948 --> 00:02:54,326
Yeah. I just... surprised that you...

33
00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:56,023
found the article that I wrote.

34
00:02:56,029 --> 00:02:58,305
I mean, you must have an
ass-deep Google alert on yourself.

35
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,201
This was, like, a
niche feminist website.

36
00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:01,773
It's not the front page of "The Times."

37
00:03:01,779 --> 00:03:03,919
Well, let's just say I'm
hypervigilant these days.

38
00:03:03,925 --> 00:03:07,356
Look, I'm not trying to
get an apology out of you.

39
00:03:07,362 --> 00:03:08,739
- Okay, good.
- Okay, good.

40
00:03:08,745 --> 00:03:11,722
I'm just looking to give
my side of the story.

41
00:03:11,728 --> 00:03:14,075
Okay, but first, there's
something that I'd like to say.

42
00:03:14,081 --> 00:03:17,372
Oh, sure. Uh, go right ahead, Hannah.

43
00:03:20,535 --> 00:03:23,170
I'm a writer, you know?
And I may not be a...

44
00:03:23,176 --> 00:03:24,943
a rich writer or a famous writer

45
00:03:24,949 --> 00:03:27,738
or a writer with a picture of myself
hanging out with Toni Morrison.

46
00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:28,950
Good catch.

47
00:03:28,956 --> 00:03:30,574
Well, you put it right in my face, so...

48
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:31,880
Yeah, yeah, I did.

49
00:03:31,886 --> 00:03:33,443
But I am a writer, and as such,

50
00:03:33,449 --> 00:03:35,372
I think I'm obligated to use my voice

51
00:03:35,378 --> 00:03:39,586
to talk about things that
are meaningful to me. And...

52
00:03:39,592 --> 00:03:43,383
I read something about you that
troubled me, that troubled me greatly.

53
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,480
Namely that you were using
your power and your influence to

54
00:03:46,486 --> 00:03:51,313
involve yourself sexually with college
students on your book tour. And...

55
00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:53,813
whether all those sexual encounters
were consensual or not...

56
00:03:53,819 --> 00:03:57,413
Okay, hold up, because that's where
this all gets pretty fucking messy,

57
00:03:57,419 --> 00:04:00,108
when words like "consensual"
are thrown around.

58
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,869
That's why I'm not sleeping.

59
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,760
That... that is definitely
why I've lost 20 pounds.

60
00:04:04,861 --> 00:04:07,180
Well, that sounds
lucky. I would love that.

61
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,830
Look, Hannah, you're
clearly very bright.

62
00:04:09,836 --> 00:04:11,948
I could tell that from the
first sentence you wrote.

63
00:04:11,954 --> 00:04:14,804
Uh, thank you. You printed out a blog?

64
00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:16,718
No. I have assistants
who can do that for me.

65
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:20,499
"If one more male writer I love reveals
himself to be a heinous sleaze bag,

66
00:04:20,505 --> 00:04:22,074
"I'm gonna do a bunch of murders,

67
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,987
"create a new Isle of
Lesbos, and never look back."

68
00:04:24,993 --> 00:04:27,022
You're funny. That's a funny sentence.

69
00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:28,424
Thank you.

70
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:32,799
But you should be using your funny
to tackle subjects that matter.

71
00:04:33,308 --> 00:04:36,818
Me, who I may or may not have
got a blow job from consensually,

72
00:04:36,824 --> 00:04:40,284
in a college town,
does not fucking matter.

73
00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:41,902
But the thing is is that it does,

74
00:04:41,908 --> 00:04:43,489
because if one of those
girls is saying she didn't

75
00:04:43,494 --> 00:04:45,053
- want to give the blow job...
- By the way,

76
00:04:45,058 --> 00:04:48,347
how exactly does one give
a non-consensual blow job?

77
00:04:48,627 --> 00:04:51,606
A non-consensual blow job?
It would be very chokey.

78
00:04:51,612 --> 00:04:52,812
It...

79
00:04:52,818 --> 00:04:55,614
It would involve somebody sort
of holding someone else's...

80
00:04:55,855 --> 00:04:57,901
head down and kind of, you know,

81
00:04:57,907 --> 00:05:00,618
maybe holding them by
the hair, by the pigtails.

82
00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:02,760
You've heard that old joke...

83
00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:05,151
What do you call a
blow job with handlebar?

84
00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:07,057
Just...

85
00:05:07,361 --> 00:05:10,775
I'm sorry, I have to get this.
It's, uh... it's family stuff.

86
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,372
- Yeah, of course.
- Hi, Mayaan.

87
00:05:14,955 --> 00:05:17,717
No, if Miranda wants to come over
for the weekend, it's fine, yeah.

88
00:05:17,723 --> 00:05:18,923
Is she feeling better?

89
00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:23,995
No... no, I don't have
her gymnastics bag.

90
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,012
Ask Graciela, 'cause, uh,
sometimes it's in her car.

91
00:05:27,605 --> 00:05:30,008
Well, I'm not gonna let her sit here

92
00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:34,279
and eat fucking Flamin' Hot Cheetos
and play Candy Crush or whatever.

93
00:05:34,285 --> 00:05:37,899
She's gonna need to walk, you know, go
to a park, whatever. She's depressed.

94
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,886
Yes, I mean clinically.

95
00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:44,520
I'm... I'm not calling you a bad mother.

96
00:05:44,989 --> 00:05:47,044
Mayaan, I'm not... I'm not.

97
00:05:48,483 --> 00:05:49,717
You know what? Would... would

98
00:05:49,723 --> 00:05:52,406
this be a good time to talk
about summer, uh, custody?

99
00:05:52,412 --> 00:05:55,598
Because I would love to bring her
to the Cape, um, for three weeks.

100
00:05:55,604 --> 00:05:58,374
Maybe after the European
residency? But, you know,

101
00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:01,158
I also don't wanna feel like
you're not getting your time.

102
00:06:02,025 --> 00:06:03,721
Yeah, go grab your calendar.

103
00:06:33,624 --> 00:06:39,152
No, I asked you, Mayaan. I 100% asked
you, because I always goddamn ask you.

104
00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:42,639
Mayaan, I'm not gonna tell you
when you can see our daughter.

105
00:06:42,645 --> 00:06:44,827
I'm gonna tell you when I want to see
our daughter, and then we'll take it

106
00:06:44,832 --> 00:06:47,327
from there. And, being the
mother, no doubt you'll win.

107
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,021
Rest assured you'll win.

108
00:06:49,381 --> 00:06:52,904
No, no, it's not a
swipe at you... it's not.

109
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:57,396
I... I know. I know. I'm sorry.

110
00:06:57,402 --> 00:06:58,694
I'm sorry, honey.

111
00:06:58,904 --> 00:07:00,905
Yes, of course. I'll see her at 3:00.

112
00:07:01,691 --> 00:07:03,241
Yeah, okay.

113
00:07:03,705 --> 00:07:04,905
Bye.

114
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,346
So, I'm assuming that was Toni Morrison.

115
00:07:11,553 --> 00:07:13,740
That's funny. No, it's my ex.

116
00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:16,240
Very tortured woman.

117
00:07:17,432 --> 00:07:19,882
But our daughter is a good girl,

118
00:07:19,888 --> 00:07:22,375
so, you know, I have
to believe that this...

119
00:07:22,381 --> 00:07:25,786
life, this mother, is
teaching her something,

120
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:28,288
you know, building her
up strong, because, uh,

121
00:07:29,122 --> 00:07:32,452
she's had some depression stuff
this year and it got kind of serious,

122
00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:34,131
but, um... she's good.

123
00:07:36,106 --> 00:07:39,981
- Listen, I don't know you...
- No, Hannah, you do not.

124
00:07:39,987 --> 00:07:42,122
But your work means a lot to me.

125
00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:44,029
It has for a long time.

126
00:07:44,035 --> 00:07:47,357
It's made me laugh and it's comforted
me. And my copy of "Shannon's Rock"

127
00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:50,891
is so dog-eared and underlined, you
can barely read the words anymore.

128
00:07:50,897 --> 00:07:52,686
So when I saw Denise's Tumblr, I was...

129
00:07:52,692 --> 00:07:55,388
Isn't that the crazy
part about all of this?

130
00:07:55,394 --> 00:07:57,092
Like, about... about
being alive right now,

131
00:07:57,097 --> 00:08:00,852
that so much of your life,
your world can be destroyed

132
00:08:00,858 --> 00:08:03,673
by something called
"Tumblr" without an E?

133
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:07,185
I mean, "destroyed" seems like
a little bit of an overstatement.

134
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,795
You got a great review
in "The Times" four days

135
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,488
- ago... that was a rave.
- Oh.

136
00:08:10,494 --> 00:08:13,003
- You got this apartment. Your...
- Yeah, I'm fine.

137
00:08:13,009 --> 00:08:14,784
- Yeah, I would say so.
- Thing is I'm not,

138
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:17,705
because I've been taking pills
to fall asleep. And guess what.

139
00:08:17,711 --> 00:08:19,003
They don't fucking work.

140
00:08:19,009 --> 00:08:21,199
I started therapy and for
the first time in 10 years,

141
00:08:21,204 --> 00:08:24,056
thought I was done with all
that shit. Tried everything.

142
00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:26,237
Different types of meditation. I've...

143
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:28,752
I tried to learn Spanish, rowing.

144
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,812
You know, I went on a juice
cleanse, did a silent retreat.

145
00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:35,467
I am now having nightmares that
my daughter's friends will Google

146
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:39,026
and find out about whatever
the fuck this thing is

147
00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:40,706
and that will hurt her.

148
00:08:41,957 --> 00:08:43,559
Understand? It will hurt my daughter.

149
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:46,660
So what I wonder is
why am I being punished?

150
00:08:46,762 --> 00:08:48,449
I wasn't trying to punish you.

151
00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:50,965
I just think it's important to
listen to the voices of women

152
00:08:50,971 --> 00:08:53,299
who have historically
been pushed to the side

153
00:08:53,305 --> 00:08:54,775
- and silenced and...
- Do you know

154
00:08:54,781 --> 00:08:56,789
the woman who wrote the article?

155
00:08:57,779 --> 00:08:59,865
Do you know any of the
women who came forward?

156
00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:03,100
Are you some kind of activist?

157
00:09:03,395 --> 00:09:04,864
No. I don't even recycle.

158
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:06,637
Then why would a smart woman like you

159
00:09:06,643 --> 00:09:08,631
write a very long and
considered piece of writing

160
00:09:08,637 --> 00:09:10,239
on what is ultimately hearsay?

161
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:13,358
Because I don't consider the accounts
of four different women hearsay.

162
00:09:13,364 --> 00:09:15,269
Really? Remember what happened in Salem.

163
00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:17,074
Yeah, these four women are the witches.

164
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,767
- I'm the witch.
- I don't see it that way.

165
00:09:19,773 --> 00:09:21,465
These women don't have
the reach that you have.

166
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,760
They can't get "The New York Times"
to hand them over the op-ed page.

167
00:09:23,765 --> 00:09:26,477
That's why the Internet is so cool,
because it takes all the voices

168
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,358
- that have been marginalized...
- Oh, my God!

169
00:09:28,364 --> 00:09:31,360
Is that why the Internet is so cool?

170
00:09:31,366 --> 00:09:33,663
Because some might argue
it's a monster we've created

171
00:09:33,669 --> 00:09:35,148
that will ultimately kill us.

172
00:09:35,154 --> 00:09:37,572
Yeah, well, the people who argue
that are probably a generation

173
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,859
above me, but...

174
00:09:38,865 --> 00:09:40,754
Fuck, I need a cup of coffee.

175
00:09:50,919 --> 00:09:53,503
I'm not perfect, but I'm
not saying I'm perfect.

176
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,927
I'm a horny motherfucker with
the impulse control of a toddler.

177
00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:59,075
- Oh, that must be hard.
- Listen, I get it.

178
00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:00,924
There are kids dying in
Africa. Blah, blah, blah, okay?

179
00:10:00,929 --> 00:10:02,668
But this is fucking hard for me.

180
00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:04,307
I fucked around on my wife.

181
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,315
I've told women I've loved them
and didn't even call them back.

182
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,928
I even went to a couple of
hookers, and one of them had a dick.

183
00:10:08,934 --> 00:10:10,500
I don't have any secrets.

184
00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:11,822
None of that's illegal.

185
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:14,202
I mean, except the prostitutes.
That's technically a felony.

186
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:18,929
I have never fucking
forced anyone to blow me.

187
00:10:18,935 --> 00:10:20,628
That is not my style.

188
00:10:20,847 --> 00:10:23,905
These Tumblr girls who come
up to me at my lectures

189
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:26,027
and... I am sorry...
they hurl themselves at me

190
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:28,648
like I'm some fire
and brimstone preacher

191
00:10:28,654 --> 00:10:31,857
who's gonna cure their mom's
bum leg with the touch of God.

192
00:10:32,279 --> 00:10:34,464
I invite them back to my hotel.

193
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:37,271
We may drink teeny,
tiny bottles of booze

194
00:10:37,277 --> 00:10:39,837
if a place is nice enough
to have a fucking minibar.

195
00:10:39,843 --> 00:10:43,541
A couple of them might
stay, and then, voilà...

196
00:10:43,547 --> 00:10:46,653
they have something to write
about. Because what do writers need?

197
00:10:46,659 --> 00:10:48,148
- Money.
- Very funny.

198
00:10:48,154 --> 00:10:49,978
Stories. They need stories.

199
00:10:49,984 --> 00:10:51,197
So one of them starts talking.

200
00:10:51,203 --> 00:10:54,298
"I met Chuck Palmer. He's a sad
man with a receding hairline.

201
00:10:54,304 --> 00:10:56,376
"He made sad noises
while I sucked him off."

202
00:10:56,382 --> 00:10:58,703
And all of a sudden, she
has something to write about.

203
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,816
She has a story... she
has an experience, okay?

204
00:11:01,822 --> 00:11:03,528
She has something that
makes her different

205
00:11:03,533 --> 00:11:05,305
from every other
creative writing undergrad

206
00:11:05,311 --> 00:11:07,255
that was bussed in from Virginia.

207
00:11:07,347 --> 00:11:09,314
Do you understand what I'm
saying about experience...

208
00:11:09,319 --> 00:11:11,521
the way people crave it
and the way people use it?

209
00:11:11,527 --> 00:11:14,336
- Yeah, I think I do, but...
- Denise, the one who started all this,

210
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:17,137
she practically ripped at my Dockers.

211
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,131
Kept asking if she could
come visit me in New York.

212
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,742
I probably nodded.

213
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,809
Probably indicated
yes. I didn't follow up.

214
00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:27,017
That made her angry.

215
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,694
So you expect me to believe
that every one of these girls

216
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:33,376
came forward with a story just
because they had hurt feelings?

217
00:11:33,438 --> 00:11:35,964
- Clearly haven't met my ex.
- Feel like I have.

218
00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:37,805
That conversation was very long, and

219
00:11:37,811 --> 00:11:39,846
pretty weird thing to do
in front of a stranger.

220
00:11:39,852 --> 00:11:42,350
By the way, if you're
so sure you're innocent,

221
00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:45,071
if you know that you're
this, like, perfect specimen,

222
00:11:45,077 --> 00:11:46,957
then why can't you just let it go?

223
00:11:46,963 --> 00:11:49,571
Did you just say why
can't I just let it go?

224
00:11:49,577 --> 00:11:50,777
Yeah.

225
00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:54,481
That's really great advice.
Uh, are you Buddhist?

226
00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:57,347
Why do you need me to know all this?

227
00:11:57,353 --> 00:12:00,204
Plenty of people wrote
about Denise's story.

228
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:02,296
Did you call all of them
to come to your apartment?

229
00:12:02,302 --> 00:12:03,822
Which, by the way, is lovely.

230
00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:06,345
I had no idea novelists
could make this much money.

231
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,108
No, I didn't call them. I didn't
call any of them. I only called you.

232
00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:11,445
Why me?

233
00:12:14,038 --> 00:12:15,475
Because you're smart.

234
00:12:15,866 --> 00:12:17,718
You write well. You write sharply.

235
00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:20,466
Like you're actually paying
attention. You even made me

236
00:12:20,472 --> 00:12:23,356
believe what you were saying, and I'm
the one you're fuckin' lyin' about.

237
00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:27,082
So, are you really
gonna use all this skill

238
00:12:27,088 --> 00:12:29,660
to write for some shitty
website, being paid a meaningless

239
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,856
fee to slam some guy you've
never met but claim to respect?

240
00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:35,992
If not me, who? And if not now, when?

241
00:12:35,998 --> 00:12:40,373
Oh, my God. This isn't the Civil
Rights Movement, Hannah. It's me.

242
00:12:40,379 --> 00:12:44,558
It's just me getting head in some
sterile hotel room in Rhode Island.

243
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,677
So, the larger significance is just
lost on you? You just don't even...

244
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:50,100
What larger significance?

245
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:53,199
- The power imbalance.
- Oh, my God.

246
00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:55,159
You know what? I haven't
been offered a beverage,

247
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,074
so I think I'm gonna get myself one.

248
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,642
The part where she looks
like a Victoria's Secret model

249
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,406
and I didn't lose my virginity

250
00:13:03,412 --> 00:13:07,232
until I was 25 and I was on
Accutane... that part's not lost on me.

251
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:11,319
Uh, no. I'm talking about the part where
you're a very fucking famous writer

252
00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:13,965
and she's working really
hard to have just a little bit

253
00:13:13,971 --> 00:13:15,554
of what you get every day.

254
00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:20,512
So, you invite her back to your hotel
room. What's she supposed to say? No?

255
00:13:20,518 --> 00:13:22,940
- Uh...
- She admires you.

256
00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:25,342
Then you unbuckle your pants.

257
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:27,643
What's she gonna do next?

258
00:13:27,721 --> 00:13:31,032
You got it wrong. It's
not so she has a story.

259
00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:33,744
It's so she feels like she exists.

260
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,347
And, by the way, people don't
talk about this shit for fun.

261
00:13:39,353 --> 00:13:40,970
It ruins their lives. You know that.

262
00:13:40,976 --> 00:13:43,863
- Do you hear yourself right now?
- Mm-hmm.

263
00:13:43,869 --> 00:13:48,795
I am a grown man inviting a
grown woman to my hotel room.

264
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:52,325
Did I put a gun to her
head? Did I offer her a job?

265
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:55,163
I may be stupid, but
I'm not evil, sister.

266
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:58,637
An invitation isn't
inherently wrong or dangerous.

267
00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:03,319
Sexuality's very muddy. That's a real
Grey area. Or at least we say it's a

268
00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:07,094
- Grey area so we can get...
- I am so sick of Grey areas.

269
00:14:12,224 --> 00:14:16,347
When I was in fifth grade, I had
this English teacher, Mr. Lasky.

270
00:14:16,645 --> 00:14:20,047
He liked me. He was impressed with me.
I did, like, special creative writing.

271
00:14:20,053 --> 00:14:22,028
I wrote, like, a little
novel or whatever.

272
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:24,585
Sometimes when he was talking to
the class, he'd stand behind me

273
00:14:24,591 --> 00:14:26,222
and he'd just, like, rub my neck.

274
00:14:26,228 --> 00:14:29,498
Sometimes he'd, like, rub
my head, rustle my hair.

275
00:14:30,073 --> 00:14:31,476
And I didn't mind.

276
00:14:31,858 --> 00:14:34,569
It made me feel special. It
made me feel like someone saw me

277
00:14:34,575 --> 00:14:38,585
and they knew that I was gonna grow
up and be really, really particular.

278
00:14:38,591 --> 00:14:41,845
It also made kids hate me and put
lasagna in my fucking backpack,

279
00:14:41,851 --> 00:14:43,201
but that's a different story.

280
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,224
Anyway, last year, I'm at this, like,

281
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:47,084
whatever, warehouse party in Bushwick,

282
00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,251
and this dude comes up to
me and he's like, "Horvath,

283
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:51,858
"we went to middle school together,
East Lansing." And I'm like,

284
00:14:51,864 --> 00:14:54,545
"Oh, my God, remember how
crazy Mr. Lasky's class was?

285
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:57,449
"He was basically trying to molest
me." And you know what this kid said?

286
00:14:58,153 --> 00:15:00,550
He looks at me in the
middle of this fuckin' party

287
00:15:00,556 --> 00:15:02,151
like he's a judge and he goes,

288
00:15:02,157 --> 00:15:06,500
"That's a very serious accusation,
Hannah." And he walked away.

289
00:15:07,187 --> 00:15:10,093
And there I am, and I'm just 11 again,

290
00:15:10,099 --> 00:15:13,288
and I'm just getting
my fuckin' neck rubbed.

291
00:15:13,294 --> 00:15:16,492
Because that stuff never goes away.

292
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,176
Yeah, I'm sorry that happened to you.

293
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:25,290
I mean, it gives me a greater
perspective on what triggered you,

294
00:15:25,295 --> 00:15:28,588
to use the parlance of
our times, about my story.

295
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,562
I didn't tell you so
you'd feel sorry for me.

296
00:15:30,568 --> 00:15:33,797
No, I'm just saying I'm sorry
because it's an awful story.

297
00:15:33,803 --> 00:15:35,883
Yeah, but look at me. I'm smart.

298
00:15:36,086 --> 00:15:37,570
And amazing.

299
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,874
And now I have a story.

300
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,480
Can I read something to you?

301
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,093
"Jessica had the straining body

302
00:15:54,099 --> 00:15:56,432
"of someone who had very
recently worked far too hard

303
00:15:56,438 --> 00:15:58,409
"to lose a negligible amount of weight.

304
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,548
"She was thin, had always
been thin enough to get by

305
00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:02,760
"with low breasts and a tan clavicle.

306
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:05,915
"But it was as if her form wasn't
yet used to its socially imbued power.

307
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:09,904
"She moved slowly, awkwardly, as if
life was a china shop, and she a bull.

308
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,307
"She treated my hotel
room like a museum,

309
00:16:12,313 --> 00:16:14,709
"the minibar like fine
sculpture from the Ming dynasty,

310
00:16:14,715 --> 00:16:17,294
"delicately pouring
herself some vodka over ice.

311
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,528
"I asked her where she was
from. She said, 'Around, '

312
00:16:19,534 --> 00:16:22,021
"as if someone had told her that's
what made women irresistible...

313
00:16:22,026 --> 00:16:25,201
"being from nowhere and
standing for nothing."

314
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:26,729
Why don't you read?

315
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:30,994
- I'm okay listening...
- No, uh, read it aloud to me.

316
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,146
"I tried to ask her questions

317
00:16:37,537 --> 00:16:40,818
"about what she was
reading, watching, thinking,

318
00:16:40,824 --> 00:16:43,653
"about her home town
and her poetry workshop,

319
00:16:43,768 --> 00:16:45,436
"about her mother and her roommate

320
00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:48,944
"and the silvery scar snaking
quietly across her forearm,

321
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:53,244
"but she was silent, reticent,
almost angry when I pushed too hard.

322
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,954
"'Sit on the bed,' she told
me when she finally spoke.

323
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,824
"'Sit on the bed and
stop asking me anything.'

324
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:02,650
"And so I did as I was told
and she reached for my old belt,

325
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:05,158
"frayed from being the
only one in rotation.

326
00:17:05,164 --> 00:17:07,963
"And as she unbuckled it, I
thought sadly of my sister,

327
00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:12,415
"my daughter, even my mother and the
times they had resisted being known,

328
00:17:12,421 --> 00:17:15,009
"guessing instead that the man
they were standing across from

329
00:17:15,015 --> 00:17:18,408
"wanted something or
someone else entirely."

330
00:17:18,889 --> 00:17:20,203
Is this fiction?

331
00:17:20,577 --> 00:17:22,213
Is anything fiction?

332
00:17:22,219 --> 00:17:24,947
No, I don't mean it like a
Cheshire Cat kind of riddle.

333
00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:27,713
I mean, like, did you change the
names and identifying details?

334
00:17:27,719 --> 00:17:29,221
Like, is this fiction?

335
00:17:29,227 --> 00:17:31,211
I did change the names, but this

336
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,522
is what I wrote about Denise

337
00:17:32,528 --> 00:17:35,338
before she published her
fucking Tumblr article,

338
00:17:35,344 --> 00:17:39,118
before a website called The
Awl called me "Throat-Piercer."

339
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:41,789
This is what I wrote about
Denise before she told the world

340
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:44,791
that I was a menace and
a sleaze and a fraud.

341
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,493
She doesn't think you're a fraud.
She clearly respects you a lot.

342
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,297
Okay, this is what I saw
and this is what I wrote.

343
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:52,965
I saw a woman who was
lovely, lonely, and scared.

344
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,155
I saw a woman who didn't
wanna let anyone in.

345
00:17:55,377 --> 00:17:59,236
And I see, now, in
myself, every fucking guy

346
00:17:59,242 --> 00:18:01,072
who didn't care enough
to push a little further.

347
00:18:01,077 --> 00:18:03,911
Hannah, that is what I am guilty of...

348
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,988
not pushing hard enough
to get to know Denise,

349
00:18:06,994 --> 00:18:08,989
to get to the heart of her story.

350
00:18:09,995 --> 00:18:11,494
Do you get that?

351
00:18:11,895 --> 00:18:13,200
Yeah.

352
00:18:14,805 --> 00:18:18,992
Do you wanna know why I think
I really wanted to meet you?

353
00:18:19,963 --> 00:18:22,365
- Yeah, I do wanna know.
- To fix that.

354
00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:24,677
I mean, it's spoiled with Denise. I...

355
00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:29,083
I know it is, but I can ask you where
you're from, what you want, who you are.

356
00:18:29,089 --> 00:18:32,569
I can... I can show you you're
more to me than just a pretty face.

357
00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:37,074
So?

358
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,276
Where are you from?

359
00:18:43,364 --> 00:18:45,568
- I'm from Michigan.
- Really? Which part?

360
00:18:45,574 --> 00:18:48,450
I love Traverse City, chocolate-covered
cherry capital of the world.

361
00:18:48,456 --> 00:18:51,256
I ate so much on a book tour once, I
had to stick my fingers down my throat.

362
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:52,653
- Really?
- Yeah, I know.

363
00:18:52,659 --> 00:18:55,350
I'm not opposed to a little
casual bulimia from time to time.

364
00:18:55,356 --> 00:18:57,809
- Who isn't?
- Well, it takes a toll on the enamel.

365
00:18:59,019 --> 00:19:00,824
Um, no. I'm from East Lansing.

366
00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:02,848
- It's not really that close.
- Right.

367
00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:05,772
And what are your dreams
for the next five years?

368
00:19:05,882 --> 00:19:08,694
Sorry to sound like a
"People" magazine interview.

369
00:19:09,881 --> 00:19:11,691
No, it's okay. It's a good question.

370
00:19:11,697 --> 00:19:14,193
I want to write.

371
00:19:15,399 --> 00:19:19,241
I want to write stories that make
people feel less alone than I did.

372
00:19:19,247 --> 00:19:22,661
I want to make people laugh about
the things in life that are painful.

373
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:23,983
That's what I wanna do.

374
00:19:26,051 --> 00:19:27,294
Good goal.

375
00:19:27,556 --> 00:19:28,760
That's a really good goal.

376
00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:31,267
- So, maybe one day, you'll be famous.
- Pfft, maybe.

377
00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:33,377
And a lot of people know
some stuff about you.

378
00:19:34,751 --> 00:19:36,034
Some stuff.

379
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,657
I mean, they'll think they'll
know everything, but they won't.

380
00:19:38,743 --> 00:19:41,048
- Like what happened to you.
- Like what happened to me.

381
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:44,555
You thought you knew
everything, but you didn't.

382
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,045
- No, I didn't.
- You listened to one source

383
00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:49,485
and then you flapped your lips.

384
00:19:49,491 --> 00:19:50,884
Your funny lips...

385
00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:53,964
but all the same, you
made me the face of this

386
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:58,532
epidemic about literary men attacking
industrious, innocent, young women.

387
00:19:58,538 --> 00:20:00,716
That's what two-bit journalists do.

388
00:20:01,084 --> 00:20:03,771
And you're not a journalist, Hannah.

389
00:20:04,792 --> 00:20:06,599
You're a fuckin' writer.

390
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:18,602
I can't believe you have a signed
copy of "When She Was Good."

391
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,710
God, everyone acts like this book
is Philip Roth being the worst,

392
00:20:21,716 --> 00:20:23,582
but it's actually him being the best.

393
00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:26,168
And I know I'm not supposed to
like him because he's a misogynist

394
00:20:26,174 --> 00:20:28,950
and he demeans women, but I can't
help it. I fuckin' love his writing.

395
00:20:28,956 --> 00:20:32,097
You can't let politics dictate
what you read or who you fuck.

396
00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:34,462
Those are my rules. Write that down.

397
00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:36,641
I'll do you one better.
I'll tattoo it on my body.

398
00:20:36,647 --> 00:20:37,847
Better.

399
00:20:38,953 --> 00:20:42,486
I heard an alternate title for
this book was "American Bitch."

400
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:46,051
I have no idea if that's true.
Can't find any proof on the Internet,

401
00:20:46,057 --> 00:20:49,332
but, God, if it is,
fuck, that's so good.

402
00:20:50,152 --> 00:20:51,731
Why don't you keep the Roth?

403
00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:54,449
- Seriously?
- Yeah, seriously.

404
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:55,959
I like how happy it makes you.

405
00:20:56,042 --> 00:20:58,346
But it's signed to you and everything.

406
00:20:59,618 --> 00:21:02,634
God, I hope someone writes a book
about what a cunt I am someday.

407
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,023
- Do you?
- Yeah, obviously.

408
00:21:05,134 --> 00:21:07,515
What would be better than
to, like, ruin someone's life

409
00:21:07,521 --> 00:21:11,051
with your wanton sex appeal and,
like, icicle-sharp intellect? But...

410
00:21:11,286 --> 00:21:13,976
I'm half-Jewish, so I don't
really see that happening for me.

411
00:21:15,052 --> 00:21:16,684
You really are funny.

412
00:21:18,368 --> 00:21:19,974
- Hannah?
- Yeah.

413
00:21:20,385 --> 00:21:22,909
Would you lie down with me for a moment?

414
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,173
Just a moment.

415
00:21:26,292 --> 00:21:29,488
And I'd encourage you to keep your
clothes on to delineate any...

416
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,573
any boundaries that feel right to you.

417
00:21:31,579 --> 00:21:35,164
I just wanna feel close to someone in
a way that I haven't in a long time.

418
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:36,769
If you please.

419
00:21:57,117 --> 00:21:59,261
Your bed smells like snacks.

420
00:21:59,668 --> 00:22:01,648
I live alone, lady.

421
00:22:02,753 --> 00:22:06,167
I'm sorry I wrote something about
you that, um, upset you so much

422
00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:08,196
without considering all the facts.

423
00:22:09,253 --> 00:22:10,817
It's all right.

424
00:22:10,823 --> 00:22:12,267
I'm not angry.

425
00:22:45,491 --> 00:22:46,889
Oh, I've got to go.

426
00:22:46,895 --> 00:22:48,296
Oh, my fucking God!

427
00:22:48,604 --> 00:22:50,103
I touched your dick.

428
00:22:50,109 --> 00:22:52,608
You pulled your dick out
and I touched your dick.

429
00:22:52,614 --> 00:22:55,999
What the fuck? And now it's still
out. You didn't even put it away.

430
00:22:56,005 --> 00:22:58,228
I can see your dick.

431
00:22:58,234 --> 00:22:59,704
It's right there.

432
00:22:59,710 --> 00:23:01,133
Hey, Dad!

433
00:23:01,643 --> 00:23:03,564
Hi, love!

434
00:23:03,625 --> 00:23:05,250
Hi, honey.

435
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,114
Oh, my fucking God.

436
00:23:10,627 --> 00:23:13,439
I'm just confused. I thought
that I was going to Mom's.

437
00:23:13,445 --> 00:23:15,136
Mom thought you might
have more fun here tonight.

438
00:23:15,141 --> 00:23:17,836
But I don't have my flash
cards or my book. I...

439
00:23:20,317 --> 00:23:21,524
Hi.

440
00:23:21,910 --> 00:23:25,231
- Hi. Hi.
- This is my friend, Hannah.

441
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,122
Why don't you go play
with your beads and things?

442
00:23:27,127 --> 00:23:29,331
- I got you some new markers.
- Miranda: But I wanna show you what

443
00:23:29,336 --> 00:23:31,627
I've been working on in
flute. It's really good.

444
00:23:31,633 --> 00:23:32,931
Do you wanna hear?

445
00:23:34,723 --> 00:23:35,923
Me?

446
00:23:38,195 --> 00:23:39,404
Okay.

447
00:23:39,410 --> 00:23:41,889
Excellent, cool. Okay.

448
00:23:51,657 --> 00:23:54,568
- Sorry.
- Honey, take your time.

449
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:34,737
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