1 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,214 Thank you for coming. How have you been? 2 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,257 Good. Happy to be here. 3 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,801 - Lovely. Ready to roll? - Yes. 4 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:13,263 You're listening to Through the Laces with Trent Crimm 5 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:17,726 presented by our friends at Grady Locks: Hair care for the silver fox. 6 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,979 Use code "Trenty-twenty" to get 20% off your first order. 7 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:24,316 Yes, yes, yes. I'm here with Dr. Sharon Fieldstone, 8 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,528 professor of sports psychology at Loughborough University. 9 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,613 And she's here to talk about her new book, 10 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:33,575 Unlocking the I in Team: The Psychology Behind Team Building. 11 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,619 - Dr. Fieldstone. - Mr. Crimm. 12 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,746 Sharon, it's good to have you here. 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,209 I'd like to start with a phrase that you return to several times in your book, 14 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,294 "Lose the dressing room, lose the team." 15 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,923 I actually invoke that same phrase in my book, The Richmond Way, 16 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,508 out now in paperback. 17 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,177 - I haven't read your book. - Okay. 18 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,554 I'll send you home with a signed copy. 19 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,641 Anyway, "Lose the dressing room, lose the team." 20 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,268 Could you expand on that for us, please? 21 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,896 Successful teams are happy teams, and happy teams have coaches 22 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:06,733 that establish a culture of communication and trust. 23 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,279 The majority of that work happens in the dressing room. 24 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,031 What do you think's going on in there? 25 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,950 They're probably showering and getting dressed. 26 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,785 Uh-huh. Yeah. No, that's true. 27 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,453 I gotta say, Coach, 28 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,372 I don't like not being able to walk into a ladies' locker room 29 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,498 whenever I feel like it. 30 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,417 And that's something you should never say out loud again. 31 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,002 Yeah, I felt that the second after 32 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,879 I heard the word "ladies" come spitting out my mouth. 33 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,380 Yikes. That sounded worse than the last one. 34 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,840 - Yeah, man. - I just mean, 35 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,633 I used to be able to walk into any part of this building. 36 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,261 And I don't love being made to feel like I'm now violating the lady parts. 37 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,346 What the heck is going on with me? 38 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,182 - You okay, Coach? - I don't know. 39 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,349 Oh, thank God. 40 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:43,228 Sorry, Boots wanted to shower right away to wash the blood off her hands, 41 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,272 and then she took forever to air dry. 42 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,906 Hey, hey, hey, congrats on the win, y'all! 43 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:59,786 All right. Now this means that we are still undefeated after four matches. 44 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,581 - With only two wins. - And two draws against lesser teams. 45 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,957 Yeah, but undefeated is undefeated. 46 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,043 But I appreciate that aspect of y'all's personality. 47 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,836 But great defense today. 48 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,130 Let's give it up for Lizzie and the twins helping Boots 49 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,174 get her first clean sheet of the season. 50 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:21,141 And, hey, what about Gemma and that killer header for the win, huh? 51 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,189 Go, Gemma. Go, Gemma. Go, Gemma. 52 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,858 Sorry, I'm a little hard of hearing ever since I went to the Eras Tour 53 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,944 and sat next to a group of overzealous girl dads. 54 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,487 Come on. Give it up for Gemma. 55 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,823 Yeah, let's make their heads even bigger. 56 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,535 And how about our midfielders 57 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,453 giving their all out there, yeah. 58 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,669 Okay, hey, thank you all for your effort. 59 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,964 And we'll see each and every one of you on Monday fun day. 60 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,048 Great. 61 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,183 Why does it keep doing that? 62 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,977 Okay. Look, I don't know what's going on in there, 63 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,520 - but it's a problem. - It's a big problem. 64 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,646 It's cliques. 65 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,024 - You never had cliques in the men's team? - Not really. 66 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,610 - No, we had factions. - You know, posses, maybe. 67 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,195 Yeah, that's the same thing. Those are cliques. 68 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:16,989 Oh, okay. All right. 69 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,032 How do you think these cliques are divided though? 70 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,535 Well, it looks to me like it's currently by attackers, defenders, 71 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,620 and midfielders, but that can change out of nowhere. 72 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,540 Makes sense. Attackers think defenders are cautious and lack creativity. 73 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,543 And defenders think attackers are opportunistic and lack discipline. 74 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,962 Meanwhile midfielders are the people-pleasers caught in the middle. 75 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,505 - Exactly. - Okay, wait, slow down. 76 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:34,882 Just explain that to me again, please. 77 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,217 Let me break it down in one of your little stories you love so much. 78 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,136 So the three cliques 79 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,722 are like the three main characters in Harry Potter. 80 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,932 - Ouch. - Coach already knows this, 81 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,976 but Harry Potter is one of my blind spots. 82 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,144 Mate, you don't know Harry Potter? 83 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,479 My little boy got into Percy Jackson, and we never looked back. 84 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,816 It's okay. I'll translate. Carry on with your wizarding jag. 85 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,278 So the attackers are like the character Harry Potter. 86 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,654 Who's like Ferris Bueller. 87 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,657 'Cause they create exciting moments, but can be a little selfish at times? 88 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,743 - Boom. - Your defenders are like Ron Weasley. 89 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,203 Who's a total Cameron Frye. 90 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,581 'Cause they're protective and loyal, but they also skew anxious and risk-avoidant. 91 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,708 And then the midfielders are like Hermione Granger. 92 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:10,959 The great Sloane Peterson. 93 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,879 'Cause they are logical and seek balance and despite their quiet leadership 94 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,672 can feel underserved by the narrative at times. 95 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,591 Okay, got it. Wonderful. 96 00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,176 Hey, just out of curiosity, 97 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,386 amongst the three of us who do y'all think is the attacker? 98 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,890 And who's the defender? 99 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,186 And who's a midfielder? 100 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,606 Interesting. Okay. All right. So this is good. 101 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,274 We don't have a problem. We just got cliques. 102 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:36,485 - Yes, but... - Cliques are a huge problem. 103 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,600 I'm so glad we're here. 104 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,353 {\an8}It's really quite inspiring, isn't it? 105 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,814 {\an8}- Yes, a mere £2,000 a head... - Yeah. 106 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,190 {\an8}to have lunch with the same people 107 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,317 {\an8}you'd never voluntarily choose to spend time with. 108 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,485 Good afternoon. 109 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:24,074 {\an8}It is my sincere pleasure to introduce our keynote speaker. 110 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,077 {\an8}She is managing partner at Scorpio Sports, 111 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,372 {\an8}which is one of the first major funds to invest exclusively 112 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,082 {\an8}in women's professional athletics. 113 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,877 {\an8}She is also my dear friend. 114 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,337 {\an8}Ladies and gentlemen, Zelda Southport. 115 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,264 Thank you. Thank you very much, Hugo. Thank you. 116 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,101 {\an8}You know, it's a shame that the repercussions of the patriarchy 117 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,978 stopped men from wearing bronzer. 118 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:56,148 Wow. You all look like ghosts in this light. 119 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,571 Not you, Hugo. You just look dead. 120 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,328 {\an8}Hello, you very important people. 121 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:14,416 {\an8}Your money keeps women's football in England afloat. Bravo. 122 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,295 Bravo. Bravo. But... 123 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:25,052 {\an8}I wonder what would happen if you actually cared about women's football, 124 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:29,723 {\an8}beyond the great press and the occasional reputation-laundering, you know? 125 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:34,144 {\an8}Hugo, Hugo, by the way, how's the corruption case going? 126 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:35,562 {\an8}Huh? 127 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:39,399 {\an8}Yeah, I hope that those prats at Interpol 128 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,069 {\an8}come down from their high horses, don't you? 129 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,950 {\an8}But back to you pale, chinless wonders. 130 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:53,747 {\an8}I'm just wondering what it would be like if you actually went to the women's games? 131 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,874 If you knew their names, 132 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:59,211 {\an8}and yeah, not just the cute little blonde ones, 133 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:06,134 {\an8}but if you put your fucking hearts where your fake allyship currently is. 134 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,098 Well, if you're interested in what I have to say, I will be at the bar. 135 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:15,394 {\an8}But if you're not interested, then could you just order your drinks at the table, 136 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,855 because I just hate waiting in lines. 137 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,233 {\an8}See ya. 138 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:24,903 Yes! 139 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,033 {\an8}We'll break early for lunch. 140 00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,620 - Come on. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? 141 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,789 {\an8}We have to talk to her. The whole point in us being here 142 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,916 {\an8}is to talk to people who have done what we're trying to do. 143 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,753 {\an8}Right. I've spent far too much time with rich, angry women. 144 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:44,006 - I mean, I used to be one. - Rebecca, please. 145 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,676 Please, please, please, please. 146 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,927 - Fine. Yeah. Okay. - Come on. 147 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:51,263 Excuse us. 148 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,640 - Now. - Yes. 149 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:57,394 Ms. Southport, hi. This is Rebecca Welton. 150 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,980 - She owns AFC Richmond Women's. - Hello. 151 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,107 {\an8}And I'm Keeley Jones, CMO. 152 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,859 {\an8}We really loved your speech. 153 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,652 {\an8}- Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 154 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:09,698 {\an8}Yeah, I remember reading about your divorce and thinking, 155 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:13,827 {\an8}"That woman's ex is nearly as fucked-up as mine." 156 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,662 {\an8}Well... 157 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,165 {\an8}we don't need to be defined by our exes. 158 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:22,169 I don't mind being defined by mine, 'cause I invented the banana clip. 159 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:27,216 And my back-then much more business-savvy ex, 160 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:30,594 he patented it in his own name, 161 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,887 divorces me, 162 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,972 and then he made millions. 163 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:37,558 And that really pissed me off, so I invented the claw clip. 164 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,227 Yeah. Have you got a claw? 165 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,604 - I do. Right here. - She's got a claw. 166 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,606 - Yeah. - Everyone's got a claw. 167 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,775 And now nobody gives a shit about the banana clip, do they? 168 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,527 - No. - Nope. 169 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:50,280 So never underestimate the power of anger as fuel. 170 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,741 Right? 171 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,828 So I assume you want my advice 172 00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,581 - about your women's football team, yeah? - Yeah. 173 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,458 Let me know if you want to set up a meeting. 174 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,418 Absolutely. What are you doing right after this? 175 00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,712 Easy, tiger. I'll have my office call you. 176 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:08,507 - Yeah. - All right, that sounds good. 177 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,133 Okay. 178 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,845 Hugo, you really do look terrible. 179 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,805 - Do you think she'd sign my clip? - Possibly. 180 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,391 {\an8}Now, when I think of cliques, 181 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,811 {\an8}I think of teenage girls and not professional athletes. 182 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:24,648 {\an8}Well, in my experience, professional athletes and teenage girls 183 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,817 can act, at times, quite similar, 184 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,696 {\an8}but cliques are just a way to find a community in a stressful environment. 185 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:31,905 {\an8}Would you look at that. 186 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,199 {\an8}They're all playing together pretty well, if you ask me. 187 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,454 All right, y'all, five-minute water break. Let's go. 188 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,960 See, sometimes you got to let these things heal themselves on their own. 189 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,421 To quote Rachel Carson, 190 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,424 "There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature." 191 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,885 Exactly. Nature should be healing itself. 192 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,345 Like, when a worm loses its tail it'll just grow another one. 193 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,471 {\an8}That's right. 194 00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:59,183 {\an8}- But isn't a worm all tail? - That's a good question. 195 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,059 Yeah, footballers are not worms. 196 00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:12,237 And we met this badass woman, Zelda Southport. 197 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,406 She bankrolls all these women's teams across the world. 198 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,033 She has two football teams in Europe, 199 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,995 a WNBA, a professional ice hockey team, rugby. 200 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:25,000 And she is financing the West End run of all-female Glengarry Glen Ross. 201 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,169 She does have to arm-wrestle David Mamet for the rights, 202 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,962 but I have all confidence that she... 203 00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:31,131 What? 204 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,675 Nothing. It's just... 205 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:36,678 I fucking love when you're excited. 206 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,848 Yeah, I am excited. 207 00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,226 Has it been long enough yet? 208 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,230 Am I allowed to ask? 209 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,442 Keeley, I heard you met the Zelda Southport. 210 00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:54,363 Did you know she had a post-punk band in the early '80s called Seizure? 211 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,908 Bit of a Slits derivative, but they had some really catchy tunes. 212 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:02,788 You know that Deliveroo ad with the wiener dog on the back of the motorbike? 213 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:06,250 I'm coming to you quickly, so quickly Woof, woof 214 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,668 That's a Seizure song. 215 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:20,889 - Sorry, did I interrupt something? - Roy wants us to try again. 216 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,599 Try what? 217 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,186 I'm going. 218 00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:27,771 No, no, stay. 219 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,524 - I don't think you're ready. - What the fuck do you mean I'm not ready? 220 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,734 I mean, how many women have you dated in the past three years? 221 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,152 None. 222 00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:35,654 You haven't slept with anyone in three years? 223 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,323 I've slept with loads of people. I thought you said "dated." 224 00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:40,742 - I don't mind stepping away. - No, it's all right. 225 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:43,495 - Why haven't you dated any other women? - 'Cause I want you. 226 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,455 Yeah, for now. 227 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,750 - What's that supposed to mean? - You've slept with all these women, 228 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,627 but you haven't actually committed to getting to know them. 229 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,172 Really see who they are or let them see who you are. 230 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,799 No, instead you've put me on this fucking pedestal. 231 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,427 And it is high up here, man, and my heart is afraid of heights. 232 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,971 - I'm gonna leave you two alone. - No, you're not going anywhere. 233 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,349 Okay, so what, you want me to go on a bunch of proper dates 234 00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:07,644 - with women who aren't you? - I want you to be sure. 235 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:11,273 - Okay, great. How many dates? - The number is not the point, Roy. 236 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,025 - Five dates? - Five could work. It could be more. 237 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,651 - Twenty dates? - That's too many dates. 238 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,069 - Ten dates then. - Ten is a good number. 239 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,154 Okay, great. Ten it is. 240 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,822 - Higgins, you can keep track. - I don't want to do that. 241 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,616 - It's okay. - No, we don't mind. 242 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,659 You go and have fun on all those dates, yeah? 243 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,036 I will. 244 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,872 And you be careful up there on your pedestal. 245 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:28,874 Promise. 246 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,629 I should call my wife. 247 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,591 So in The Richmond Way, 248 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,593 which you've not read, which is fine, 249 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,720 although I do hear it is a quick read, 250 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:45,766 I talk about the unexpected team building that comes out of team movie nights. 251 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,101 Yes, but movie nights aren't really social, are they? 252 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,854 You sit next to your teammate, you don't speak. 253 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,232 If someone speaks, somebody shushes you. 254 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:57,027 One of the many reasons why I prefer to watch movies on my phone. 255 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,198 With cliques, the idea is to create a space 256 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,909 where the different factions can interact. 257 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:06,954 Hey, Coach. 258 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,540 Don't forget, this is the week we find out who we're playing in the FA Cup. 259 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,167 Yeah, okay, but first we got to break up these cliques, huh? 260 00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:13,418 What do they do in the movies? 261 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,921 In Mean Girls, Regina George gets hit by a bus. 262 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,965 Double-decker would kill someone. That's a pass. 263 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,384 In Heathers, Veronica murders all the Heathers. 264 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,761 Also a pass. What happens in Lost Boys? 265 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:26,181 In Lost Boys, the vampire clique gets broken up by stakes to the heart. 266 00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:27,599 Yeah. I'll tell you what though, 267 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,185 it's the lack of adult supervision in that movie that's the real antagonist. 268 00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:33,355 - Amen. - We ain't got a Mean Girl or a Heather 269 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,316 or a dreamboat of a vampire with a dangling earring 270 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,068 - on our team. - Love a dangler. 271 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,362 I've been suffering with so much FOBOLR these days... 272 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,072 "Fear of being outside the locker room." Nice. 273 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,117 That I forgot the two quickest ways to bring a group of people together: 274 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,077 a common enemy, or a common goal. 275 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,829 Or better yet, one of each. 276 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,749 It's happening. I'm relaunching the pub quiz. 277 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,586 Relaunching? Why did you shut it down the first time? 278 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,213 Turns out all the answer sheets I downloaded were wrong. 279 00:13:58,297 --> 00:14:00,090 Every single question. 280 00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:02,009 Got into a bit of legal hot water. 281 00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:05,971 But now the NDA has expired, we're back. 282 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,764 My time to shine, baby. 283 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,601 Mae, this fella right here, he's a pub quiz whiz. 284 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,352 Best in the biz. No bullshiz. 285 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,271 He's won trivia nights all around the world. 286 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,981 Whoa. All around the world? 287 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,818 - How many continents is that, Mae? - Still 29, is it? 288 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,157 You three are banned from quiz nights until further notice. 289 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:27,034 Dang it. 290 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:30,287 Now I can only go to one of the other thousand quiz nights in this town. 291 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,998 What are you smiling about, Coach? 292 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:35,334 It's gonna be a bloodbath. 293 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:42,049 - Thank you for a nice night. - Fancy a nightcap back at mine? 294 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:46,845 I've got training in the morning, so... 295 00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,722 Welcome to Bones and Honey. 296 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,641 London's oldest members' club. 297 00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:55,896 Are you not leaving? 298 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:57,898 No. 299 00:14:58,815 --> 00:14:59,983 Well, then... 300 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,779 - Good night. - Good night then. 301 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,217 Roy? 302 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,929 - Greta? Nice to meet you. - Wow. 303 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:32,391 - How are you doing? - Wow. It's really you. 304 00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:35,310 Yeah, have a seat. 305 00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,020 I hope you weren't waiting too long. 306 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,397 No, not at all. 307 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,067 Back so soon. 308 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,028 What can I get you? 309 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,738 G and T would be lovely. 310 00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:49,992 - Great. - And let me guess, espresso martini? 311 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,368 Yes, please. 312 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,955 I'll add that to your tab, which you didn't close. 313 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,665 Thank you. 314 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,251 Naughty. 315 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:07,968 - Are you looking for someone? - Oh, yeah. 316 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,636 I'm meeting Roy Kent. 317 00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:14,016 - Hold one second. - Okay. 318 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394 Hi. Sorry to interrupt, 319 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,855 but you have someone waiting for you at the end of the bar. 320 00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:33,327 I'm sorry. That's a friend of mine who's bad at time. 321 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:39,583 As in she's early for a drink, because you're dating us both on the same night? 322 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,920 - Yes. - Great. 323 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,798 - I'm gonna go now. - Understood. 324 00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:10,030 Wow. Three dates in one night. 325 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,741 Not the record, but pretty good. 326 00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:16,369 Hang on. Are you saying those last two count as full dates? 327 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,621 You bought the girl a drink, 328 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:22,000 and you and the other one had some form of gesticular intercourse, I guess. 329 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:25,587 - So, yeah. Martini's on me. - Thank you. 330 00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,984 Gemma Jay promotional jumpers. 331 00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:49,987 Authorized. 332 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,738 Great. Thank you. 333 00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:53,365 Yeah, she's quickly becoming a fan favorite. 334 00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:55,701 Also, when should we set up a meeting with Zelda? 335 00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:58,996 About that... 336 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:06,378 I'm not entirely sure that she's quite the right fit for us. 337 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:09,464 What? She has access to, like, a quarter of a billion dollars 338 00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:11,800 and she talks shit. How's she not the right fit? 339 00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:15,512 Well, I appreciate that she's very successful at what she does, 340 00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:19,057 but Zelda Southport isn't even her real name. 341 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,809 - It's Carol Dring. - So? 342 00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:23,187 It's probably her stage name from back in the punk days or something. 343 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,440 Well, speaking of which, do you know that back in the day she was arrested 344 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,109 for threatening a club owner with a pair of butter knives? 345 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:32,654 No, but both you and I have things from our past 346 00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:35,407 that a lot of people could judge us for without the full context. 347 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,491 I'm confused. 348 00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:38,076 What... What are you trying to say? 349 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,497 I'm just saying, we can't be naive and jump into business with everyone we meet. 350 00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:43,957 I'm not being naive. 351 00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:46,001 I don't mean you. 352 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:49,338 - I just mean that we need to be... - You know what? It's fine. It's okay. 353 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,758 I have to go call Derek and put the order in for those new jumpers ASAP. 354 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:54,551 Okay. 355 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,101 Well done. 356 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:06,230 And what happens if cliques aren't broken up? 357 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,483 Well, resentment festers, a fight breaks out, 358 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:10,859 a team could fall apart. 359 00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:14,154 - I should go in there. - No, you definitely should not. 360 00:19:14,238 --> 00:19:15,531 Well, where's Coach then? 361 00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:17,449 I don't know. I don't have an Alice tracker. 362 00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,119 I mean, come on, man. What if there's an intruder in there? 363 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,705 Then 22 professional athletes will take him down. 364 00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:26,583 - Okay, come on. - Get the fuck off me! 365 00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:38,679 All right. Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Is everybody okay? 366 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,682 I said, is everyone safe? 367 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:44,601 - Yeah. Of course. - Okay. 368 00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:46,603 - God. - Are you all decent? 369 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:49,523 - Do you mean wearing clothes? - Yes, I mean, are you not naked? 370 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:50,774 Yeah, we're all decent. 371 00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,860 Okay, good. Now I'm gonna take this off, all right? 372 00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:54,528 - Yes. - Okay, here it goes. 373 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,196 Okay. All right. Hi. 374 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,324 What the hell is going on in here, huh? 375 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,493 Y'all sound like a bunch of overzealous girl dads 376 00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:02,911 fighting over friendship bracelets. 377 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,288 - I'll tell you what happened. - Please. 378 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,706 Niamh's disgusting socks 379 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,040 - were in my area. - Her area? 380 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,961 Oi! Oi! It's not about the socks. 381 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,798 - Good. What's it about then? - Okay, it's because Gemma is still mad 382 00:20:14,882 --> 00:20:16,592 that Siobhan didn't swap shirt numbers with her, 383 00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,760 - like a fucking psycho. - Like a psycho. 384 00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,929 - Four's my lucky number. - Here's your four. 385 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,891 - Fucking arsehole. - Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? 386 00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:28,270 Hey, Coach, we didn't do anything and they just started attacking us. 387 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,689 They're so defensive. 388 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:31,857 - I understand. Okay. - We just got 389 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,150 caught in the middle of this shit. 390 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,902 Which is exactly why Mady shouldn't have to deal 391 00:20:34,985 --> 00:20:36,945 with Niamh's disgusting socks. 392 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,364 Oh, my God! 393 00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:41,200 We're all having a lot of big feelings right now. 394 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,035 - That's clear. - Piss off, Lizzie. 395 00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,703 We're not one of your fucking kids. 396 00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,415 I know you're not, my darling. 397 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,709 Because if you were one of my kids, 398 00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:54,338 I would spank your arse so fucking hard 399 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,923 that your crack'd turn sideways. 400 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:57,090 How's that? 401 00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:01,345 Okay, okay. That's enough. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's enough. 402 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:04,848 Okay? We're gonna change the way we do things around here starting right now, 403 00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:07,100 'cause fun time is over. 404 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:09,394 All right? Practice tomorrow, canceled. 405 00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:10,979 - What? You can't do that. - That's right. 406 00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:12,940 I can do that. I'm the coach and I just did it. 407 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:17,444 It's done, okay? Instead, we're all gonna go to a pub and do trivia night. 408 00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:18,904 Got it? That's right. 409 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,656 And guess what? It is mandatory 410 00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:22,824 and y'all don't get to pick whose team you're on. 411 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,159 That's my job. 412 00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:27,746 Yes. Hush your butts. I don't wanna hear it. 413 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,456 That is what's happening, okay? 414 00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:33,168 So later tonight each and every one of you will get a Partiful invite, 415 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:34,253 or maybe even earlier, 416 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,880 if one of y'all show me how to do that kind of thing on my phone, 417 00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,758 'cause I don't know how to download apps in this dang country. 418 00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:41,051 Have I made myself clear? 419 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,011 Yes. 420 00:21:43,095 --> 00:21:44,638 - Good. - What do you think you're doing? 421 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:45,973 I can explain... 422 00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:47,933 It was his idea. I didn't want anything to do with it... 423 00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:49,351 I leave you for two minutes. 424 00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,562 - I was like, "We should wait for Alice"... - I made sure everybody was decent... 425 00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:52,813 like John Wayne... 426 00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:54,648 - In his defense, there were screams... - I don't want to hear it. 427 00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:57,109 - Are we having a team meeting? - No, don't turn around. 428 00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:58,986 - What? - Don't turn around. 429 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:01,822 Get out. If you turn around, I'll fucking kill you. 430 00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:03,657 - I will. I mean it. I will... - Are we in trouble? 431 00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:06,326 Get out. Don't turn around. Even when you get in there, don't turn around. 432 00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:07,494 Boots! 433 00:22:14,418 --> 00:22:15,752 Should we get another round? 434 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,337 No. 435 00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:22,092 The woman I want to be with told me I had to date ten women, 436 00:22:22,176 --> 00:22:24,136 and that is the only reason I'm on a date with you. 437 00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:25,929 You're lovely, 438 00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:29,433 and I've really enjoyed learning about your journey with sleep apnea. 439 00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:32,269 And if the circumstances were any different, 440 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:35,355 I'd want to get another round and take you home, 441 00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:36,857 CPAP machine and all. 442 00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:39,902 I do know this makes me a dickhead. 443 00:22:39,985 --> 00:22:41,361 And I am sorry. 444 00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:47,117 I'll take a burger, medium-rare, and a nice bottle of wine. 445 00:22:47,201 --> 00:22:49,369 Absolutely, I'll order at the bar. 446 00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:58,921 Well, five dates in two days. 447 00:23:00,005 --> 00:23:02,341 Speed isn't considered a virtue in dating. 448 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,968 Yeah, all right. Calm down. It's only been four. 449 00:23:05,052 --> 00:23:06,553 I'm counting this. 450 00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:17,397 - Good luck tonight. - Don't need it. 451 00:23:20,192 --> 00:23:23,111 Okay. Terri, Evellyn, Paris, Margy. 452 00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:25,822 I realize you're not the brightest bunch, but I believe in you guys. 453 00:23:25,906 --> 00:23:27,783 - Gemma, shut the fuck up. - Wow. 454 00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:30,953 - Got your quiz sheets? Great. - Yeah, I've got 'em. 455 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:39,795 Shocker, the attackers only thinking about themselves. 456 00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:42,464 Guess we'll get our own beers. 457 00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:44,132 All right. 458 00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:47,219 - You want one, keeper? - No, thanks, I don't drink. 459 00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:53,100 I once passed out on a train, woke up in Chelmsford, 460 00:23:53,183 --> 00:23:55,018 ended up working at a castle for three months. 461 00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:58,605 - Is that why you don't drink? - What? I'm just telling a story. 462 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:00,691 What? 463 00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,276 Right, team name. 464 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,194 - I defer. - Whatever you got. 465 00:24:04,278 --> 00:24:07,030 So, Coach, you gonna hold back with the full force of your talent tonight? 466 00:24:07,114 --> 00:24:08,198 Let other folks have a shot? 467 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:12,828 Sorry. Silly question. 468 00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:14,371 - Cheers, cheers. - Cheers. 469 00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:16,248 - Cheers. - Cheers. 470 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:17,583 - Go on, say something different... - Okay, 471 00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:18,876 vote for your favorite team name. 472 00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:21,044 - We have got "Ice Cream Pants." - Yep. 473 00:24:21,128 --> 00:24:23,422 - "Truss Issues." - "Truss Issues." Yeah. 474 00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,299 We've got "Kate Middleton's Body Double." 475 00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:28,218 Youse are all fucking cowards. 476 00:24:28,302 --> 00:24:30,888 - Did you know that? - Finally, we've got "Wagapapa." 477 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:35,934 - No, not going to vote for your own? No? - Sounded stupid when you said it. 478 00:24:36,018 --> 00:24:38,312 Great. Well, I'll just fucking come up with it then. 479 00:24:40,606 --> 00:24:42,608 Okay! 480 00:24:42,691 --> 00:24:48,238 Welcome to the relaunch of the Crown and Anchor pub quiz. 481 00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:57,414 We'll go for five rounds, ten questions a round. 482 00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:00,209 The category for the first round is... 483 00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:02,711 general knowledge. 484 00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:05,923 - That's not a category. - You're not a category. 485 00:25:06,590 --> 00:25:11,595 Question one: What is the world's smallest country? 486 00:25:12,471 --> 00:25:13,472 That's the... 487 00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:14,556 That's the one... 488 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:20,812 - Okay, let's think about... - Vatican City. 489 00:25:20,896 --> 00:25:22,314 - We don't have to. - Oh, yeah. 490 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:27,945 Question two: Lewis Carroll wrote this poem in a nonsense language, 491 00:25:28,028 --> 00:25:31,865 about the killing of a monster. 492 00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:33,450 - So... - Jabberwocky. 493 00:25:33,534 --> 00:25:35,035 - Don't bother. - How do I spell that? 494 00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:38,413 J-A-B... Shall I do it? 495 00:25:38,497 --> 00:25:39,790 - What the fuck? - It's faster. 496 00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:42,209 Sometimes you got to ride the horse in the direction it's facing. 497 00:25:42,292 --> 00:25:45,003 In this instance, the horse is a genius at a very specific thing, 498 00:25:45,087 --> 00:25:47,005 and we are riding its coattails, you know? 499 00:25:47,089 --> 00:25:49,007 Speaking of which, did y'all get the Beach Boys over here? 500 00:25:49,091 --> 00:25:50,425 What? 501 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:56,306 Come in. 502 00:25:58,684 --> 00:25:59,685 Hi. 503 00:26:00,519 --> 00:26:01,812 Hi. 504 00:26:01,895 --> 00:26:03,188 Can we talk? 505 00:26:04,481 --> 00:26:07,025 - Always. - Not here. 506 00:26:31,133 --> 00:26:36,054 And after three rounds, we have a three-way tie for second place. 507 00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:40,225 - If I Were A Richmond. - Cheers. 508 00:26:40,309 --> 00:26:42,561 - There Will Be Brians. - Come on! 509 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,149 And We Can't Think Of A Name. 510 00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:48,567 - Come on, tell 'em. - Best friendship. Boom. 511 00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:51,278 Each with 22 points. 512 00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:54,656 But in a commanding lead, 513 00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:56,742 and a perfect score of 30, 514 00:26:57,701 --> 00:26:59,494 Flying Coach. 515 00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:01,788 - No way. - Of course it is. 516 00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:03,790 - Big surprise. - Classic. 517 00:27:04,917 --> 00:27:09,046 Now's the time to fill what's empty and empty what's full. 518 00:27:09,838 --> 00:27:11,215 See you in five. 519 00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:13,425 I'm gonna head to the loo. 520 00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:15,552 You know what I'm talking about. 521 00:27:15,636 --> 00:27:18,472 Y'all let me know if I can get you anything while I'm in there. 522 00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:20,891 Gross. 523 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:23,644 Excuse me. 524 00:27:23,727 --> 00:27:26,230 All I do is win, win, win No matter what 525 00:27:26,313 --> 00:27:29,149 Got money on my mind I can never get enough 526 00:27:29,233 --> 00:27:31,360 And every time I step up in the building 527 00:27:31,443 --> 00:27:33,695 Everybody ha... 528 00:27:44,873 --> 00:27:46,792 - Soda for you. - Thank you. 529 00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:48,669 - It's all right. - Slainte. 530 00:27:48,752 --> 00:27:50,671 - Bless you. - Cheers. 531 00:27:51,380 --> 00:27:54,466 But it's not just the jumper pattern 'cause look, if you look here, 532 00:27:54,550 --> 00:27:56,969 her right hand is literally blurry. 533 00:27:57,928 --> 00:28:00,305 What if it's not a body double, but a clone? 534 00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:02,391 Or a secret twin! 535 00:28:02,474 --> 00:28:04,518 That's like The Parent Trap, innit? It's like... 536 00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:06,854 I fucking love that movie! 537 00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:11,108 Cheers to Paris's surprising knowledge on Russian literature. 538 00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:14,862 Let's go. 539 00:28:15,529 --> 00:28:17,906 Oi, oi, oi. 540 00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:20,367 We know who you are. You're a bunch of footballers. 541 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,703 Well, girl footballers. 542 00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:27,165 - What's the difference? - Your speed, your stamina... 543 00:28:27,249 --> 00:28:28,917 - Quality of play. - Your tits. 544 00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:32,212 That's all right. I don't think me and my tits 545 00:28:32,296 --> 00:28:35,966 would enjoy your speed, stamina or quality either. 546 00:28:37,301 --> 00:28:38,343 Have that, you bellend. 547 00:28:38,427 --> 00:28:39,469 Shut your mouth. 548 00:28:39,553 --> 00:28:42,306 - I'll come and smack your bottom. - Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya? 549 00:28:43,182 --> 00:28:45,434 So I watched that Ferris Bueller film last night. 550 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:46,602 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, 551 00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:48,478 and when it finished, I immediately rewatched it. 552 00:28:48,562 --> 00:28:49,980 And I watched it again this morning. 553 00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,732 Wow, what'd you think? 554 00:28:51,815 --> 00:28:53,150 I fucking hated it. 555 00:28:54,193 --> 00:28:56,069 I felt really sad for his sister. 556 00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:58,989 Yeah, no, I get that. Hey, Coach... 557 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:05,162 Coach? Everything okay? 558 00:29:07,164 --> 00:29:08,957 Blink if you can understand me. 559 00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:14,129 - Back at it with round four. - Uh-oh. 560 00:29:21,595 --> 00:29:22,596 Yeah. 561 00:29:26,141 --> 00:29:27,142 Fuck! 562 00:29:27,226 --> 00:29:28,602 Wait, did you just... 563 00:29:28,685 --> 00:29:31,688 No, it's my fucking knee. Fuck. 564 00:29:31,772 --> 00:29:34,942 Fuck. Fuck. 565 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,860 - Fuck, fuck, fuck. - Do you need help? 566 00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:39,780 - No, I'm good. - Okay. 567 00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:40,864 Fuck. 568 00:29:40,948 --> 00:29:42,866 - I'm gonna get back to work then. - Yeah. 569 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:43,951 - Yeah. - Cheers. 570 00:29:44,034 --> 00:29:45,077 Fuck. 571 00:29:49,665 --> 00:29:52,376 I never really cared about football until I met Roy. 572 00:29:53,669 --> 00:29:56,046 But you wanna know what made me love it? 573 00:29:57,714 --> 00:29:58,799 You. 574 00:30:00,175 --> 00:30:04,847 Getting to sit and go through all the wild ups and downs of this sport together. 575 00:30:08,934 --> 00:30:10,936 I know I don't always do things the right way. 576 00:30:11,687 --> 00:30:16,400 Asking for stadiums and team trains and cryotherapy chambers. 577 00:30:16,483 --> 00:30:17,985 You haven't asked for a cryotherapy chamber. 578 00:30:18,068 --> 00:30:19,528 I will. 579 00:30:23,115 --> 00:30:26,243 Please know it's because I am so excited 580 00:30:26,326 --> 00:30:29,371 to be building something with my best friend from the ground up. 581 00:30:29,955 --> 00:30:32,749 I'm sorry that you must always feel I'm telling you no. 582 00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:36,253 That is okay too, because every time you tell me no, 583 00:30:36,336 --> 00:30:39,047 it forces me to think of a different way of getting things done, 584 00:30:39,631 --> 00:30:42,634 and it's always better. Always. 585 00:30:44,386 --> 00:30:46,555 If we keep encouraging each other like this, 586 00:30:46,638 --> 00:30:48,348 in a couple of years, we're not gonna be sitting here. 587 00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:49,933 We're gonna be at Nelson Road. 588 00:30:50,017 --> 00:30:51,602 A couple of years? 589 00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:53,103 I'd give it a year. 590 00:30:57,608 --> 00:30:59,985 Jesus Christ! 591 00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:01,737 That's really cool, isn't it? 592 00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:04,865 We're gonna do that on Saturday right after the girls come out of the tunnel. 593 00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:08,869 - I love it. - Yeah. 594 00:31:08,952 --> 00:31:11,496 I think the smoke could have a cooler tone though, don't you? 595 00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:12,581 Kenneth? 596 00:31:12,664 --> 00:31:15,334 Can we do it again but add some more blue, please? 597 00:31:15,417 --> 00:31:16,752 You got it, Keeley. 598 00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:21,882 Just a heads-up, this next one's got a bit of a boom to it. 599 00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:25,302 Got it off a mate of mine who does pyro for Maiden. 600 00:31:25,886 --> 00:31:27,179 Oh, yeah! 601 00:31:29,681 --> 00:31:32,518 And after five rounds of play 602 00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:36,980 and a stunning fall from grace by Flying Coach, 603 00:31:37,064 --> 00:31:39,525 we have a tie. 604 00:31:40,692 --> 00:31:42,528 Your final two teams are: 605 00:31:43,862 --> 00:31:45,030 We Can't Think of a Name. 606 00:31:45,113 --> 00:31:48,242 - Fuck yes! - Come on! Yeah! That's how you do it! 607 00:31:48,742 --> 00:31:50,577 And There Will Be Brians. 608 00:31:50,661 --> 00:31:52,120 Yes! 609 00:31:52,204 --> 00:31:54,665 You're not just bad at football! 610 00:31:54,748 --> 00:31:56,124 - I said... - Mae. 611 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,460 La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! 612 00:31:58,544 --> 00:32:00,003 - Shut the fuck up. - Argh, you dickheads. 613 00:32:00,087 --> 00:32:03,382 Sudden death round. 614 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,178 The category is children's books. 615 00:32:08,262 --> 00:32:09,680 Fuck yes! 616 00:32:09,763 --> 00:32:12,724 Good luck knowing anything about kids' books, you dickless dweebs. 617 00:32:12,808 --> 00:32:15,894 Well, I'm Irish-Catholic with 40 nieces and nephews all below the age of seven. 618 00:32:15,978 --> 00:32:17,646 And I'm an assistant librarian. 619 00:32:17,729 --> 00:32:20,315 And I'm learning to read again after a serious head pineapple. 620 00:32:20,399 --> 00:32:21,483 He means head injury. 621 00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:25,529 And I think we're gonna be just fine. 622 00:32:26,113 --> 00:32:28,907 In the book Goodnight Moon, 623 00:32:28,991 --> 00:32:32,327 name five things the little rabbit says "goodnight" to. 624 00:32:32,411 --> 00:32:34,413 Nope. I don't like books where animals can speak. 625 00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:37,124 Right, right, right. Listen, listen. Kittens. 626 00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:39,084 - Okay. - Yeah. Mouse. 627 00:32:39,168 --> 00:32:41,587 - No fucking way. - Fucking cow jumps over the moon. 628 00:32:41,670 --> 00:32:42,963 Okay, okay, two more, two more. 629 00:32:43,046 --> 00:32:44,131 Okay, yeah. 630 00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,507 - Bears. - Okay, okay. 631 00:32:45,591 --> 00:32:47,467 - Cool. - Last one is... 632 00:32:47,551 --> 00:32:49,052 You've got this. Yes. 633 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:53,140 - There's one more. - Nah, you've got it. 634 00:32:53,223 --> 00:32:56,059 - It's in there. I feel it. I feel it. - Come on. Come on. 635 00:32:56,143 --> 00:32:59,605 - Come on, come on. - You can, you can. I can feel it in you. 636 00:32:59,688 --> 00:33:02,524 Come on, Lizzie, think. We've got to beat these pricks. 637 00:33:03,317 --> 00:33:05,694 Don't just do it for us. Do it for your kids. 638 00:33:06,778 --> 00:33:08,780 For Richmond. For women. 639 00:33:08,864 --> 00:33:10,324 Can you just shut the fuck up? Hush. 640 00:33:11,283 --> 00:33:12,451 Hush. 641 00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:14,786 Old lady whispering hush. 642 00:33:14,870 --> 00:33:16,413 Fucking yes! 643 00:33:19,291 --> 00:33:20,417 Yes! 644 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,795 No fucking way. 645 00:33:36,433 --> 00:33:39,811 Erin, this is my brother, Roy. 646 00:33:39,895 --> 00:33:42,064 Roy, this is my friend Dr. Beaumont. 647 00:33:42,147 --> 00:33:44,691 She's doing this as a favor, so be nice. 648 00:33:45,484 --> 00:33:47,861 And don't worry, I've already told her how you re-injured yourself, 649 00:33:47,945 --> 00:33:49,655 so you don't have to watch her stifle her laughter. 650 00:33:49,738 --> 00:33:51,240 I can't make any promises though. 651 00:33:51,323 --> 00:33:53,659 Okay, I'll be outside. Love you. Bye. 652 00:33:54,868 --> 00:33:57,579 Look, I don't know what she told you, but she's a liar 653 00:33:57,663 --> 00:33:59,414 and she makes things up. Cheers. 654 00:33:59,498 --> 00:34:01,917 Right. Pop that on, and then just step behind the curtain. 655 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,920 - Take off all your clothes and any metal. - Fuck. 656 00:34:08,382 --> 00:34:09,466 Thank you. 657 00:34:12,928 --> 00:34:14,929 So, how long have you been having problems with this knee then? 658 00:34:16,681 --> 00:34:20,185 I don't know. About five years, off and on. 659 00:34:20,936 --> 00:34:22,020 How off, how on? 660 00:34:22,980 --> 00:34:24,940 On. Always. 661 00:34:25,023 --> 00:34:28,485 - Right. How are you managing the pain? - Ibuprofen. 662 00:34:28,569 --> 00:34:30,404 And how many ibuprofen are you taking a day? 663 00:34:30,487 --> 00:34:34,408 Sometimes two. Sometimes two handfuls. 664 00:34:34,491 --> 00:34:36,534 Well, why the hell haven't you had this looked at before? 665 00:34:36,618 --> 00:34:39,996 'Cause I'm fucking fine. How many fucking questions do you have? 666 00:34:41,164 --> 00:34:42,206 Just one. 667 00:34:42,291 --> 00:34:43,500 What the fuck is wrong with you? 668 00:34:44,668 --> 00:34:46,460 Did you seriously wear those socks on a date? 669 00:34:50,507 --> 00:34:52,926 - That's two questions. - That's fair. 670 00:34:54,136 --> 00:34:56,263 Come on, let's get you in the noisy tube. 671 00:34:59,141 --> 00:35:03,187 Ladies and gentlemen, we have our results. 672 00:35:03,270 --> 00:35:06,398 And with five correct answers, 673 00:35:06,481 --> 00:35:08,317 the winners are... 674 00:35:09,151 --> 00:35:11,612 We Can't Think of a Name! 675 00:35:12,738 --> 00:35:14,156 Yay! 676 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,783 Yes! Fucking dickheads! 677 00:35:18,994 --> 00:35:20,037 Yes. 678 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,665 You're not just shit at trivia! You're not just shit at trivia! 679 00:35:23,749 --> 00:35:26,001 - You fucking cheated. - I what? 680 00:35:26,084 --> 00:35:29,546 I saw you. You told her the fucking answers. 681 00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:33,050 Have a day off, you fucking twat. 682 00:35:36,845 --> 00:35:39,014 Oi! You all right? 683 00:35:39,097 --> 00:35:43,685 - Oi, dickhead, what'd you do that for? - You're just a rat bastard! 684 00:35:43,769 --> 00:35:45,812 Shannon, can I have your beer? 685 00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:47,856 Yeah, but I thought you don't drink. 686 00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:49,024 I don't. 687 00:36:09,711 --> 00:36:11,171 Oh, hell. 688 00:36:15,926 --> 00:36:17,845 - Oh, no! - What? 689 00:36:17,928 --> 00:36:20,472 - The women's team have been arrested. - They've what? 690 00:36:20,556 --> 00:36:22,349 Yep. They're being held at Richmond station. 691 00:36:22,432 --> 00:36:24,768 - We need to get down there right now. - Wait, I've got to tell Ted. 692 00:36:24,852 --> 00:36:27,354 - No, no, no, he's been arrested too. - What the fuck? 693 00:36:27,437 --> 00:36:29,898 Oh, my God, we've got to get down there. He's not gonna last the night. 694 00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:31,525 - I know. - Oh, my God! 695 00:36:32,359 --> 00:36:34,194 Jesus fucking Christ! 696 00:36:34,903 --> 00:36:37,906 - Too much? - Yeah, maybe just a hair. 697 00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:00,971 How about that? 698 00:37:01,597 --> 00:37:03,765 Ted Lasso, you're my hero. 699 00:37:04,474 --> 00:37:06,810 There he is. What happened to you, man? 700 00:37:09,396 --> 00:37:10,522 This. 701 00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:22,701 Wow. Okay. 702 00:37:24,828 --> 00:37:27,581 But hey, in better news, 703 00:37:27,664 --> 00:37:31,084 our separate little cliques have become... 704 00:37:31,835 --> 00:37:35,255 What do you call it? A giant cluster clique, I guess? 705 00:37:35,339 --> 00:37:36,924 It's called a team, Coach. 706 00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:39,384 Right, a team. 707 00:37:39,468 --> 00:37:42,763 Okay, ladies, settle down, settle down. 708 00:37:42,846 --> 00:37:43,847 Right. 709 00:37:44,973 --> 00:37:48,644 Beard. Lasso. You two are out. 710 00:37:50,938 --> 00:37:52,231 Okay... 711 00:37:53,565 --> 00:37:55,692 Hey, really nice meeting you fellas. And... 712 00:37:55,776 --> 00:37:57,694 you should come check out a match sometime. 713 00:37:57,778 --> 00:37:59,696 Watch our gals beat someone else's ass. 714 00:38:03,367 --> 00:38:04,618 - We bad. - That's right. 715 00:38:07,579 --> 00:38:09,998 When do you think we can start having sex with each other in here? 716 00:38:13,293 --> 00:38:15,337 We will have your results in the next couple of days. 717 00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:17,506 This is such a fucking waste of time. 718 00:38:17,589 --> 00:38:18,882 I just need to ice it. 719 00:38:18,966 --> 00:38:21,677 Ice. Brilliant. Let me get the Nobel committee on the phone. 720 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,973 Until then, I recommend that any random hookups happen 721 00:38:26,056 --> 00:38:28,350 in the horizontal position until the swelling goes down. 722 00:38:29,268 --> 00:38:31,562 In your knee or your ego. 723 00:38:33,021 --> 00:38:35,607 - I mean, he's fun, isn't he? - Yeah, he's a blast. 724 00:38:35,691 --> 00:38:37,818 - Thank you, pal. - You owe me. 725 00:38:39,486 --> 00:38:40,863 Well done, Roy. 726 00:38:40,946 --> 00:38:43,115 Who the fuck does she think she is? 727 00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:46,451 What the fuck is her fucking problem? 728 00:38:47,411 --> 00:38:49,538 How the fuck do I get her phone number? 729 00:38:51,915 --> 00:38:54,334 And when the cliques are finally dissolved? 730 00:38:54,418 --> 00:38:58,172 When a team gets along, when they truly care about one another, 731 00:38:58,255 --> 00:38:59,965 nothing is out of reach. 732 00:39:00,048 --> 00:39:02,551 That chemistry can take them wherever they want to go. 733 00:39:03,594 --> 00:39:05,637 And if they attempt to bring charges, 734 00:39:05,721 --> 00:39:08,891 I will remind you of Beckford v. R, AC 130, okay? 735 00:39:08,974 --> 00:39:10,475 "A man who is about to be attacked 736 00:39:10,559 --> 00:39:13,103 does not have to wait for his assailant to strike. 737 00:39:13,187 --> 00:39:15,480 - Certain circumstances..." - My babe, don't worry, 738 00:39:15,564 --> 00:39:19,526 nobody's pressing charges. No one's gonna show up on any record. 739 00:39:19,610 --> 00:39:20,652 I've handled it. 740 00:39:22,196 --> 00:39:23,864 Wait, who are you? 741 00:39:23,947 --> 00:39:24,948 Me? 742 00:39:26,241 --> 00:39:28,076 I go by many names. 743 00:39:29,077 --> 00:39:31,788 I just don't remember 'em doing that much paperwork on Miami Vice. 744 00:39:31,872 --> 00:39:33,916 - Ted. - Hey, boss. 745 00:39:33,999 --> 00:39:35,501 What's going on? How are you all out? 746 00:39:35,584 --> 00:39:37,377 Great questions. You know, I got one for you. 747 00:39:37,461 --> 00:39:39,922 - Who is Zelda Southport? - Why? 748 00:39:40,005 --> 00:39:41,507 - Well, I just... - There you are. 749 00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:43,467 - Hi. - Is this your doing? 750 00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:44,551 The team out on bail? 751 00:39:44,635 --> 00:39:46,762 Don't worry, it didn't cost a cent. 752 00:39:46,845 --> 00:39:48,847 The Chief Constable, he's an old friend. 753 00:39:48,931 --> 00:39:51,683 He used to buy heroin from my drummer, 754 00:39:51,767 --> 00:39:53,602 and he owes me a favor 755 00:39:53,685 --> 00:39:56,355 because I know that he buys his coke from him now. 756 00:39:56,939 --> 00:39:58,065 Oh, my God, you're a legend. 757 00:39:58,148 --> 00:39:59,691 Thank you so much, Zelda. 758 00:39:59,775 --> 00:40:01,610 - Yes, thank you. - May I trouble you for his number? 759 00:40:01,693 --> 00:40:03,570 Hey, Higgins. What's going on? 760 00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:06,198 Leslie, you didn't need to get out of bed. We've got everything covered. 761 00:40:06,281 --> 00:40:09,117 I was up anyway, watching the FA Cup draw. 762 00:40:09,201 --> 00:40:10,994 - Who did we draw? - Chelsea. 763 00:40:11,703 --> 00:40:13,622 - Home or away? - Home. 764 00:40:14,456 --> 00:40:16,708 Great. All right. And Chelsea are... 765 00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:18,335 Really fucking good. 766 00:40:18,418 --> 00:40:20,003 They're the best team in the country, Coach. 767 00:40:20,087 --> 00:40:21,880 Okay, well, then, this should be fun. All right. 768 00:40:21,964 --> 00:40:24,341 Hey, y'all. Guess what? 769 00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:27,261 We're playing Chelsea in the next round of the FA Cup at home. 770 00:40:30,514 --> 00:40:31,849 Fuck yeah! 771 00:40:34,184 --> 00:40:35,310 Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! 772 00:40:35,394 --> 00:40:38,814 Let's get a photo with the future Cup winners! 773 00:40:40,148 --> 00:40:42,526 Here! I'll take the picture here! 774 00:40:42,609 --> 00:40:43,902 I'll take it for them. 775 00:40:51,201 --> 00:40:55,873 You're a good-looking lot. Ready? Football! 776 00:40:59,209 --> 00:41:00,627 - A photo like that... - That's great. 777 00:41:00,711 --> 00:41:03,130 Could make a lot of waves, don't you think? 778 00:41:05,716 --> 00:41:09,553 I'm gonna get out of here, guys, 'cause I really hate the filth. 779 00:41:10,804 --> 00:41:12,431 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 780 00:41:12,514 --> 00:41:14,850 Hey, listen up. Lady Greyhounds. 781 00:41:14,933 --> 00:41:18,896 I know it's late. I know you're weary. I know your plans don't include me, 782 00:41:18,979 --> 00:41:20,772 but we are all gonna head back to Mae's 783 00:41:20,856 --> 00:41:22,691 and help her clean up tonight, okay? All right? 784 00:41:22,774 --> 00:41:25,319 - No, I don't really want to do that. - We're happy to drive you all back. 785 00:41:25,402 --> 00:41:28,280 I appreciate that, man, but these gals are all gonna run there, 786 00:41:28,363 --> 00:41:29,781 - all right, 'cause there's gotta be... - Run? 787 00:41:29,865 --> 00:41:31,742 Some repercussions to tonight's shenanigans. 788 00:41:31,825 --> 00:41:33,911 Tell you what, the coaches will take a ride though, all right? 789 00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:35,621 Okay, come on now, off we go. Let's go. 790 00:41:35,704 --> 00:41:37,873 Right, come on then, let's fucking do it. 791 00:41:38,790 --> 00:41:41,043 Come on. Do it. Come on, it's what he said. Ready? 792 00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:44,254 We're Richmond till we die We're Richmond till we die 793 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:47,341 We know we are, we're sure we are We're Richmond till we die 794 00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:49,009 - Hey, hey! - We're Richmond till we die 795 00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:51,553 We're Richmond till we die We know we are... 796 00:41:51,637 --> 00:41:53,764 - Yes, sir. Yeah, you show us the way. - Thank you. 797 00:41:56,350 --> 00:42:01,063 Zelda's right. We need to convert tonight into something real, something big. 798 00:42:01,146 --> 00:42:02,981 Like a feature in The Guardian? 799 00:42:03,065 --> 00:42:07,277 No. We're gonna sell out Nelson Road. 800 00:42:07,861 --> 00:42:09,238 Keeley. But... 801 00:42:09,321 --> 00:42:11,907 Yes. Absolutely. Yes, we are. 802 00:42:11,990 --> 00:42:13,033 Yes! 803 00:42:13,617 --> 00:42:15,077 Thanks, guys. Take care. 804 00:42:19,206 --> 00:42:20,791 - You have time for a drink? - Yes. 805 00:42:22,042 --> 00:42:25,128 {\an8}Wow. Ted and the Richmond women's team have been arrested. 806 00:42:25,629 --> 00:42:27,881 - How on earth could that have happened? - It doesn't matter if you know 807 00:42:27,965 --> 00:42:30,968 why Ted does what he does. What matters is that he knows. 808 00:42:31,051 --> 00:42:34,346 Okay, that's a direct quote from my book. I knew it. I knew you'd read it. 809 00:42:34,429 --> 00:42:37,516 I haven't read your book. I listened to it. 810 00:42:39,142 --> 00:42:41,186 Are we getting a drink? I haven't got all night. 811 00:42:42,145 --> 00:42:43,188 After you.