1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,960 Big deal about the quincean... It's called a quinceanera. It's like 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:07,960 a Latina debutante. 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,360 When a young girl becomes a woman, like a sweet 16, but you do it when you're 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,340 15. I did it when I was 14. 5 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,040 You had a quinceanera? 6 00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:20,380 Okay. 7 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,040 Hey, kids. 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,980 What you got there? 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,780 Oh, Angie's dry cleaning. 10 00:00:31,580 --> 00:00:33,260 Oh, that's so nice. 11 00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:36,060 Well, 12 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,020 you wouldn't know that whip sound. That's how they get you in the barn at 13 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,100 God, I wish I could figure out that stupid dress. 14 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:49,500 I wouldn't spend too much time on it. That dress is just going to end up in 15 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,920 backseat of that guy's car anyway. 16 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:53,180 Mom! What? 17 00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:55,980 What's Carmen making a dress anyway? 18 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,440 Oh, she wants to... 19 00:00:57,820 --> 00:01:01,160 I'll spare you some money. You're spending so much on that quinceanera. 20 00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:02,580 There's not going to be a quinceanera. 21 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,720 Oh, now, that's not what Angie said. 22 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,160 Well, that's what I think. 23 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,500 She knows we can't afford a big party right now. I thought she called it off. 24 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,320 Well, don't you worry your pretty big head about it. 25 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,300 You know, your husband's working. She can pay for it. 26 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,480 with no dinner on the table. 27 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,880 Yeah, I'll put an apple in your mouth, jump in the oven, and I'll serve bats. 28 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,620 Yeah, I thought you called up the quinceanera. 29 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:38,860 Why would you think that? 30 00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:42,660 Oh, I don't know, Angie, because I'm out of work and we can't afford it. 31 00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:47,000 Honey, we can't get the deposit back on the hall and the invitations have gone 32 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,980 out and we have people flying in. Yeah, but this is crazy. I mean, your salary 33 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,160 is barely covering our bills. 34 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,260 If we cancel, it'll devastate her. 35 00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:56,610 Again? 36 00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:01,370 Like that time her lip gloss rolled under the refrigerator? 37 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,870 Look, we're not wasting our money on some party. You're thinking about this 38 00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:08,970 wrong way. 39 00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:14,010 We are creating memories for our daughter. How is that a waste? 40 00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:16,250 Creating memories for our daughter? Está loca, hombre. 41 00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:22,650 Well, the party can't be canceled. 42 00:02:22,930 --> 00:02:24,290 Yes, it can, and it will be. 43 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,980 Then you go give her the news, because I'm not going to. I'll do it. You go 44 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,660 break your daughter's heart. I'll break her heart. I'll do it right now. 45 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,960 I'm like that, Angie. Watch out. 46 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,520 Heartbreaker. 47 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,460 So, then after the father -daughter dance, I'm officially a woman. 48 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,700 So how soon can you start using your womanhood, huh? 49 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:51,200 You go anywhere near her womanhood, and you'll be looking for your manhood at 50 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,200 the bottom of the punch bowl. 51 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,440 Hey, Carmen, we need to talk. So, what do you think, Daddy? 52 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,380 It's going to be white, it's going to be covered in faux pearls, and I'm going 53 00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:04,380 to wear a tiara. 54 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:08,860 Tiara? Carmen, don't you think quinceañeras are kind of a little old 55 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,440 Hell no. 56 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,500 It's retro, bro. 57 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,580 Yeah, all my friends think it's cool. It's going to be the best party of the 58 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:16,580 year. 59 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,580 Yeah, but... Carmen, we're Americans. You know, we're assimilated. 60 00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:26,580 How's that going to look to the neighbors, a Latino family having a 61 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,640 I mean, it's so obvious. 62 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:33,060 I mean, that's one of the reasons I don't get a leaf blower. A Mexican and a 63 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,620 leaf blower, you know, who wants to see that? 64 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,340 Oh. 65 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,339 What's that for? 66 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:43,780 I know money's tight right now, but I just want to thank you for giving me 67 00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:45,560 I know is going to be one of the greatest days of my life. 68 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,220 Yeah. 69 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:53,460 Memories. Priceless. Well, not actually priceless, but, well, there you are. 70 00:03:58,700 --> 00:03:59,920 I think we should tell her together. 71 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,500 I knew you couldn't do it. 72 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:06,220 Honey, listen. 73 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:09,800 After all the bad stuff that this family's been through, it's about time 74 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,800 celebrate something. 75 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,780 But what if we celebrate it, Auntie? 76 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,800 All she did was turn 15. 77 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,200 I'll tell you what. 78 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,660 Let's save the money. When she moves out, we'll have a party then that we can 79 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,660 all celebrate. 80 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,800 you to understand, because you've never been a teenage girl. 81 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,340 My quinceanera, it was a day I will never forget. 82 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:42,120 I dressed up like Cinderella, and my friends and I put on a big musical show, 83 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:45,680 and for one day, I was a princess. 84 00:04:47,380 --> 00:04:50,440 Well, you probably won't understand this, because you've never been a man in 85 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,440 debt, but who cares? 86 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,140 No, 87 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:02,920 I don't want to spend the money. 88 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:05,560 Well, it's not your decision. 89 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,280 Excuse me? 90 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:13,700 I'm working. You're not. It's my money. It's my decision. 91 00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:15,340 That's it. 92 00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:17,260 That's not it. 93 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:22,520 I'm done talking about this. Well, I'm not done talking about it. Yeah, you're 94 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,460 lucky I got to put some fabric softener in the rinse cycle or this could get 95 00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:26,460 ugly. 96 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,070 It already has. Princess. 97 00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:43,610 All my friends know the lowrider. 98 00:05:45,570 --> 00:05:50,290 The lowrider gets a little higher. 99 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,720 I mentioned Jason in my speech for the party, but I can't decide what to call 100 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,360 him. Yeah, see, if I call him my boyfriend, it might freak him out, but 101 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,860 call him my friend, he might think I don't care about him. 102 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,260 Should I just call him my special friend? 103 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,180 Just keep it low -key. 104 00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:28,300 When you talk about your friends, mention Jason, too, and then right after 105 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:32,740 say his name, look at him and give him a little smile. 106 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,270 I'd like to thank all my friends for coming. 107 00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:45,930 Michelle, Olivia, Taylor, Katie, and Jason. 108 00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:53,350 Should I take a bigger pause? I should, shouldn't I? I'll take a bigger pause. 109 00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:58,150 Mom, should I take a bigger piece of cake? I should, shouldn't I? I'll take a 110 00:06:58,150 --> 00:06:59,150 bigger piece of cake. 111 00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,030 Shut up, idiot. 112 00:07:02,610 --> 00:07:05,230 Come on, special cake. You're my special, special. 113 00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:06,970 Shut up! 114 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,200 I've been thinking. 115 00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:20,200 I got a little carried away yesterday. 116 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,780 I know you're in a weird place because you're not working right now. 117 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,960 I should have been a little more sensitive. 118 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,240 Look, Carmen can have her quinceanera, okay? I don't want to deny my daughter. 119 00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:34,840 But just don't go overboard, okay? 120 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:43,680 5, 6, 7, 8, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1. 121 00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:57,690 I just want to find the gate dancers in the front yard. 122 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:08,050 They're rehearsing the intro for Carmen's Calypso number. 123 00:08:08,550 --> 00:08:11,430 Hey, guys, do you mind starting from the beginning so we can both see? 124 00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:12,650 Sure. 125 00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:22,590 Five, six, seven, eight. 126 00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:45,390 We're doing kind of an under -the -sea thing. Just picture him dressed as 127 00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:51,450 seahorses. And at the end of the number, Carmen comes out of a giant oyster 128 00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:52,450 shell. 129 00:08:55,390 --> 00:09:02,130 That's great. Now, picture us as homeless people pushing the giant oyster 130 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:03,130 collecting cans. 131 00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:11,930 George, I know you're mad at me, but get over it. This is not about... 132 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:12,959 Us anymore. 133 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,880 It's about Carmen. And I am not going to let you ruin this for her. 134 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:18,420 George. 135 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,020 They're closing down the factory for good. 136 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,400 Jack's going on the lam. 137 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,940 How do you know that? Well, I went down to Thirsty's. And Ernie told me that 138 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:31,240 Frank told him that Gina saw Jack at the airport buying a ticket. 139 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,440 That's it. 140 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,080 It's over. 141 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,420 We can't have the quinceañera. My job's gone. 142 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,020 Do you... 143 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,470 You're being ridiculous. 144 00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:47,710 Look, Angie, we're being investigated for a crash that killed two people. The 145 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:49,330 owner of the company is fleeing the country. 146 00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:51,090 What other explanation is there? 147 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:55,090 That he's going on vacation and a bunch of drunks at a bar jumped to a 148 00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:56,090 conclusion? 149 00:09:58,050 --> 00:10:00,890 I heard he had a straw hat on. 150 00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:05,230 That's it. 151 00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:07,730 Why? Why is that it? 152 00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:11,290 Look, because if you're going on vacation, you buy the hat there. If 153 00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,950 fleeing the country, you take the hat with you. 154 00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:14,340 Angie! 155 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:18,560 George, calm down. 156 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:20,820 Everyone is just getting scared. 157 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,060 It's taking a while. 158 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,820 You're worrying about things that you don't even know are true. You're both 159 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,120 acting crazy. 160 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:33,180 Now, if you'll excuse me, there are four tired seahorses in the backyard who 161 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,180 need orange juice. 162 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,880 We're calling them seahorses now? 163 00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:09,680 Consuelo? Somebody who's important to Angie from the past or something like 164 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,680 that. 165 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:19,880 On behalf of my husband and myself and my guardian angel who is always with me, 166 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:22,820 my grandmother, Consuelo. 167 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,220 Oh, yeah, that's it. 168 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:30,760 I'd like to thank everyone for joining us to celebrate our little... 169 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:54,450 support he provided during the crazy party planning. 170 00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:59,550 Now, please, everyone, enjoy yourselves. 171 00:13:06,810 --> 00:13:08,290 Love and emotional support? 172 00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:14,190 Why don't you just tell everybody I don't have any money? 173 00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:17,130 I didn't say anything about money. 174 00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,610 You don't have to say it, Angie. 175 00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:19,970 They know. 176 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,500 That was so cold saying my son doesn't have any money. 177 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:27,920 I didn't say that. 178 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,120 Everyone knows that a man who has a job doesn't need to give his wife emotional 179 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,120 support. 180 00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:37,260 You think your only value to this family is a paycheck? 181 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,060 That's my job in this family, Angie. When I was a kid, my mom always 182 00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:43,280 about how there wasn't a man around to help her with the bills. 183 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,340 Look, a man isn't a man unless he's a provider. I'm a hunter. I'm a provider. 184 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,440 Hunter? You can't even give the dog eye drops. 185 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,880 What you can't handle, the fact that I'm the provider now. 186 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,460 Oh, no, what I can't handle is you making all the money decisions. 187 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,340 You think I like deferring to you when you were the breadwinner? 188 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,260 Well, no one should be deferring. 189 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,480 Agreed. 190 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,460 No more my money. 191 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,260 Come on, it's our money. 192 00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:21,580 We're a team. 193 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,320 Yes, we are. 194 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,800 Can I have everyone's attention? 195 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:39,200 tell you guys this enough, but I really appreciate all the sacrifices that you 196 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,600 make for me, and I love you both. 197 00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:49,900 Yesterday, I was a mere child, thinking childish thoughts. Okay, let's... 198 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:56,880 But today, I am a woman, standing on the precipice of life's 199 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,420 mystery. Keep them coming, and don't stop until I'm deaf in both ears. 200 00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:07,970 To my friends, thank you so much for being there. 201 00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:12,810 Thank you Michelle, Olivia, Taylor, Katie, and Jason. 202 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,040 We're supposed to dance now. 203 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,800 I'm allergic to shellfish. 204 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,360 I gotta go. 205 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,680 A little advice. 206 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:03,840 When it comes to men, that is the enemy of those. 207 00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:12,260 Will everyone please raise their glass in a toast for our birthday girl. 208 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,400 You know, it seems like just yesterday she was standing on the... 209 00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:21,750 call from Jack. He told me to tell you the investigation's over. 210 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,470 We're not responsible for the crash. It was pilot error. 211 00:17:00,439 --> 00:17:02,800 But what was that about the hunter's bag? 212 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,339 Oh, we had my salary. 213 00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:06,060 This party's not going to kill it. 214 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,560 Carmen ended up making a fool out of herself. 215 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,760 Everything is back to normal again. 216 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:17,000 But we're still going to share the financial decisions, right? Angie, let's 217 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,339 worry about that right now. Look, it's our daughter's quinceanera. 218 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,280 Enjoy! 219 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:22,880 Enjoy! 220 00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:26,720 It's still going to be our money, right? Angie, what is it with you and money? 221 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,240 We should be dancing. 222 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,940 So we are still a team. Yes, we're a team, and I'm the quarterback. 223 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,200 This is so nice. 224 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,360 Don't worry, you can still provide emotional support. Look, a conga lion! 225 00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:01,810 What is that face? 226 00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:04,930 Dad, I called Jason like 15 times, and he hasn't called me back. 227 00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:07,830 Carmen, let me teach you a little something about boys your age. 228 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:10,810 Never tell them what they mean to you. 229 00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,210 Never ever say, I love you. 230 00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:19,170 And never ever do this while coming out of a giant clam. 231 00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:25,870 Look, just give Jason some space and some time. He'll get over it. How long 232 00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:26,870 should I wait? 233 00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:29,070 Why don't you wait till he calls you back? 234 00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:32,940 In the meantime, you can have some more boyfriends, maybe a husband, a few kids. 235 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,060 Carmen, it's over. Move on. 236 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,760 George, I think the motor on the washing machine is shut. Do you think we should 237 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:42,719 get a new one? 238 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,580 No, I'll try to fix it again, Angie. I don't want to spend that kind of money 239 00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,499 right now. 240 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,500 Okay. 241 00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:48,580 It's your decision. 242 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:50,920 My decision was to buy a new one. 243 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,460 I had it put in this morning. 244 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,520 Without talking to me? 245 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,860 Yep. You wrote a check off our joint account. 246 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,840 Oh, okay, I get it. 247 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,380 You're still upset about me being the quarterback. 248 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,820 You know what? You're right, baby. We should be a team. 249 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,780 Yes, we should. 250 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,100 Now, what kind of washer did you want? Top loader or front loader? Top loader. 251 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,160 Oh. 252 00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:48,370 my entrance from the urinal at the seafood broiler. 253 00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:53,830 Hey, Ernie, call your mom. Tell her I found half of her bikini top. 254 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:02,030 George, I've been waiting in the car. Are you coming or not? 255 00:20:02,270 --> 00:20:04,650 No. I paid these seahorses till midnight. 256 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,250 Okay, boys, one more time. 257 00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:16,790 Got to keep up. 258 00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:23,010 TGIF continues with a brand new Marriage of the Kellys, and it starts right now 259 00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,010 on ABC.