1 00:00:00,988 --> 00:00:03,664 Tim Allen delivers the laughs inLast Man Standing. 2 00:00:03,717 --> 00:00:04,777 It's science. 3 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,622 Catch all-new episodes Fridays. 4 00:00:06,710 --> 00:00:07,973 And check out our other programs... 5 00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:09,626 The Masked Singer andThe Cool Kids. 6 00:00:09,713 --> 00:00:10,932 Only on Fox. 7 00:00:15,428 --> 00:00:16,826 Hey, Kyle. 8 00:00:17,423 --> 00:00:18,701 Damn it. 9 00:00:20,161 --> 00:00:21,568 Kyle. Kyle! 10 00:00:21,656 --> 00:00:23,217 Here I am! 11 00:00:23,804 --> 00:00:25,498 [laughing] 12 00:00:25,804 --> 00:00:28,912 You had no idea where I was. 13 00:00:30,209 --> 00:00:33,299 No. Had I known, I would've taped that box up. 14 00:00:35,045 --> 00:00:37,265 You haven't packed any of this stuff up. 15 00:00:37,365 --> 00:00:40,262 Well, I started to, but I took a long stroll 16 00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:41,803 down memory lane... 17 00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:44,225 when I found this. 18 00:00:45,584 --> 00:00:46,772 A hanger. 19 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,662 Well, the hanger. 20 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,488 From when I first moved in. Remember? 21 00:00:50,576 --> 00:00:52,889 - No. - Well, I used to leave my coat 22 00:00:52,977 --> 00:00:54,667 laying on the sofa all the time. Remember? 23 00:00:54,787 --> 00:00:55,865 No. 24 00:00:55,953 --> 00:00:57,607 And you said, "Hang up your coat 25 00:00:57,695 --> 00:00:59,403 or I'm gonna smack you in the head." Remember? 26 00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:00,928 Yes. 27 00:01:01,632 --> 00:01:03,382 Yeah, and I said, "Where am I supposed to hang it up?" 28 00:01:03,469 --> 00:01:05,100 And you said, "In the closet." And I said, "With what?" 29 00:01:05,187 --> 00:01:06,419 And you said, "A hanger." And I said, 30 00:01:06,506 --> 00:01:08,849 "What hanger?" And you said, "This hanger." 31 00:01:09,693 --> 00:01:10,803 This hanger. 32 00:01:10,951 --> 00:01:13,084 First off, the hanger stays here. 33 00:01:14,037 --> 00:01:16,771 Message received, you old softie. 34 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,420 You got to pack all this stuff up. 35 00:01:18,508 --> 00:01:21,033 This is why we had to cancel the moving truck last week. 36 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,732 I know. I know, it's just... 37 00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:25,099 everything I pick up tells me a beautiful story 38 00:01:25,187 --> 00:01:26,536 about my time here. 39 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,982 I understand. How about this? 40 00:01:30,070 --> 00:01:32,761 You pack it up real quick, it'll tell you the same stories, 41 00:01:32,849 --> 00:01:36,122 even better ones as you're unpacking it at your new house. 42 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,738 - All right. I'll get on it. I promise. - Okay. 43 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,825 Oh, um, would you ask Mandy to give me a hand? 44 00:01:42,121 --> 00:01:44,012 Geez. Mandy. Mandy! 45 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,997 Here I am! 46 00:01:51,464 --> 00:01:53,526 [??] *LAST MAN STANDING* Season 07 Episode22 47 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,808 *LAST MAN STANDING* Episode Title: "A Moving Finale" 48 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,100 [??] 49 00:01:58,188 --> 00:02:00,737 You know, Air Force Academy food is good, 50 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:02,175 but there's something about a meal at home 51 00:02:02,262 --> 00:02:03,925 - that just tastes so much better. - Yep. 52 00:02:04,013 --> 00:02:06,450 Well, you're old enough I can tell you the secret: 53 00:02:06,579 --> 00:02:08,776 I use obscene amounts of butter. 54 00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:12,456 - Oh, I love special occasions. Morning. - Morning. 55 00:02:12,544 --> 00:02:16,735 Hey. Because there's waffles and I don't have to cook them. 56 00:02:16,823 --> 00:02:18,065 - That's right. - [chuckles] 57 00:02:18,159 --> 00:02:19,293 You can cook them anytime you want, 58 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,496 just not on the waffle maker 59 00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:22,550 that my dad passed on to me. 60 00:02:22,682 --> 00:02:24,829 You know, Mike, my grandmother passed me down 61 00:02:24,917 --> 00:02:27,589 a loom. Doesn't mean I have to use it. 62 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,355 That's because a loom is stupid. 63 00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:31,744 [scoffs] 64 00:02:32,281 --> 00:02:35,545 This thing's got generations of Baxter family flavor 65 00:02:35,647 --> 00:02:36,952 baked right into it. 66 00:02:37,118 --> 00:02:39,050 Ew. You said it was butter. 67 00:02:40,058 --> 00:02:42,417 Make all the jokes you want, but this is a big day for me. 68 00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:44,429 This is when my nearly 30-year-old daughter 69 00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:47,940 - and her husband move out of the house. - Mm. [chuckles] 70 00:02:48,151 --> 00:02:50,839 Well, in that case, I am opening champagne. 71 00:02:50,927 --> 00:02:53,292 Uh, I'm adding orange juice. 72 00:02:53,387 --> 00:02:54,933 I'm not a lush. 73 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,370 As long as we're celebrating, 74 00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:57,846 I'm gonna add some more chocolate chips, 75 00:02:57,933 --> 00:03:01,112 making this waffle one step closer to cake. 76 00:03:02,122 --> 00:03:03,573 Honey, aren't you upset? 77 00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,071 You're finally home for the summer 78 00:03:05,159 --> 00:03:06,433 and your sister's leaving? 79 00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:08,175 She's like the sun. 80 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:09,714 I enjoy her from a distance, 81 00:03:09,802 --> 00:03:13,284 but if you spend too much with her, you'll suffer a stroke. 82 00:03:14,151 --> 00:03:16,201 Ooh, champagne and orange juice. 83 00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:19,034 That's called an Omarosa. 84 00:03:20,106 --> 00:03:23,371 Actually, that would be champagne and sour grapes. 85 00:03:23,513 --> 00:03:25,428 - Ooh. - [chuckles] 86 00:03:25,611 --> 00:03:28,430 Ah, waffles. One of the most memorable smells. 87 00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:30,494 - MIKE: Mm-hmm. - You know, it's like fresh cut grass 88 00:03:30,581 --> 00:03:32,917 or gasoline covering the trailer right before your mom 89 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,050 files an insurance claim. 90 00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:37,482 You know, the key to making a great waffle 91 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:40,284 is hard on the outside, soft on the inside. 92 00:03:40,415 --> 00:03:43,034 It's almost the opposite of how it is in your artery. 93 00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:45,034 - It's just... - All right. 94 00:03:45,151 --> 00:03:47,323 Sit down, guys. Why don't I getsome breakfast in you 95 00:03:47,411 --> 00:03:48,932 - before the moving truck arrives? - Yep. 96 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:50,651 Oh, actually, we canceled that. 97 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,885 This will be the third time you've canceled this thing. 98 00:03:52,972 --> 00:03:54,230 - What's going on? - No, now, hey, hey, hey. 99 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,571 Maybe they have a good reason. 100 00:03:55,659 --> 00:03:57,870 Which I would really love to hear. 101 00:03:58,167 --> 00:04:00,162 Yeah. We-we ordered some curtains, 102 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,590 and we thought we'd wait till they got delivered. 103 00:04:01,677 --> 00:04:03,308 We don't want people peeking in. 104 00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:06,946 Trust me. Nobody wants to watch you and Kyle 105 00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:09,355 try to program a stove clock. 106 00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:14,144 Heh. 107 00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:17,052 [??] 108 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,112 Hey, Ed? 109 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,815 I got your text. What's the emergency? 110 00:04:20,903 --> 00:04:22,727 No, no, no. Did you see a customer 111 00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:25,144 who drove off in a cherry red convertible? 112 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,435 Oh. I don't know. Did he hit something? 113 00:04:26,522 --> 00:04:27,522 No, no, no, no, no. 114 00:04:27,707 --> 00:04:28,752 How do you think I would look 115 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,440 in a cherry red convertible? 116 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,059 Okay, we-we need to talk 117 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,519 about the word "emergency". 118 00:04:36,253 --> 00:04:38,519 [indistinct chatter]-Yoo-hoo. Anybody want a muffin? 119 00:04:38,607 --> 00:04:41,915 - Ooh. Absolutely. - Someone was up all night baking. 120 00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:44,761 And then I bought some from the bakery. 121 00:04:44,861 --> 00:04:46,758 - Mmm. Mmm. - What's that? 122 00:04:46,846 --> 00:04:48,806 The whole thing tastes just like the top. 123 00:04:48,894 --> 00:04:49,930 Mmm. 124 00:04:50,018 --> 00:04:52,977 And that granola bar in my desk can go kiss my ass. 125 00:04:53,101 --> 00:04:56,719 [laughs]I'm so glad you guys like them. 126 00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:59,188 Uh, hey. Are you guys gonna be here tomorrow? 127 00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:00,355 - Mm-hmm. All day. - Great. 128 00:05:00,488 --> 00:05:02,706 Uh, Boyd's school is doing their spring musical, 129 00:05:02,794 --> 00:05:05,110 so he's gonna come in with me and do some fund-raising. 130 00:05:05,198 --> 00:05:08,284 Seems like he was just here for Peter Pan. [chuckles] 131 00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:10,880 Yep. Uh, this year they're doing Music Man. 132 00:05:10,984 --> 00:05:12,844 He's so excited to tell you guys about it. 133 00:05:12,948 --> 00:05:15,102 Have a great day. Thanks, bye. 134 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,300 [chuckles] I knew this muffin would cost me. 135 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,803 [grunts] 136 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,612 Last year he talked me into that "Tiger Lily" package. 137 00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:26,617 - Mmm. - 200 bucks for a signed cast photo 138 00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:29,862 and a room temperature soda at intermission. 139 00:05:30,675 --> 00:05:34,198 This year... I'm not gonna do it. 140 00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:35,563 What? 141 00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:38,120 Yeah. He asks me to donate? 142 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,038 I'm gonna say no. 143 00:05:40,503 --> 00:05:42,956 Wow. But... but that's Mike's grandson. 144 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:43,784 Yeah. 145 00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:46,690 He-he doesn't realize that the kid's a jackass. 146 00:05:47,456 --> 00:05:48,847 I don't give a damn. 147 00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:50,409 I'm done. 148 00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:52,997 All right. Me too. 149 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,892 I'm not gonna bankroll that kid anymore. 150 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,550 - Yeah. - All right? Yeah, right. [chuckles] 151 00:05:56,637 --> 00:05:59,204 And I'm talking all these bribe muffins. 152 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,565 [??] 153 00:06:02,058 --> 00:06:03,716 We got to get rid of these sponges. 154 00:06:03,855 --> 00:06:05,753 Really? I just bought those. 155 00:06:05,921 --> 00:06:08,112 No. I mean Kyle and Mandy. 156 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,511 Yeah. Well, uh, you know, they'll be gone soon enough. 157 00:06:12,599 --> 00:06:14,644 It's-it's like Mandy in high school: 158 00:06:14,744 --> 00:06:18,261 - dicey for a while, but she got out. - Right... 159 00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:19,776 She even said it herself. 160 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,675 She's not feeling any pressure to move out. 161 00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:23,480 I want to put some pressure on her. 162 00:06:23,568 --> 00:06:25,751 Okay. What-what do you want me to say? 163 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:26,894 Nothing, nothing, nothing. 164 00:06:26,982 --> 00:06:29,470 I-I realize we attract more flies with honey than vinegar, 165 00:06:29,558 --> 00:06:32,411 but we want to get rid of the flies. 166 00:06:32,842 --> 00:06:34,757 - I can be tough. - Honey. 167 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,890 [chuckles] 168 00:06:42,011 --> 00:06:43,542 I don't like watching old movies. 169 00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:45,378 Everybody who was in them is dead. 170 00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:48,214 - Like, see that adorable kid? - Mm-hmm. 171 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,690 Dead. 172 00:06:50,612 --> 00:06:52,315 Hey, uh, could you guys 173 00:06:52,403 --> 00:06:54,089 turn that off for just a second? 174 00:06:55,278 --> 00:06:57,368 All right, listen up. I've been thinking about this, 175 00:06:57,456 --> 00:07:00,323 and if you guys don't want to move into the apartment, 176 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,534 I'm gonna have to find another tenant. 177 00:07:02,774 --> 00:07:04,183 Wait, what are you talking about? 178 00:07:04,495 --> 00:07:07,448 You know what he's talking about. 179 00:07:15,428 --> 00:07:17,387 We spent a lot of money fixing that place up, 180 00:07:17,475 --> 00:07:19,636 and I think we've done a great job. 181 00:07:19,817 --> 00:07:21,228 And if you guys aren't gonna move in, 182 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,668 I'm gonna put it back on the market, 183 00:07:22,755 --> 00:07:25,061 so I'm saying you're gonna have to move in tomorrow. 184 00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:27,728 Well, Dad you're-you're puttingus under a lot of pressure. 185 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,933 - I know. - We know! 186 00:07:36,042 --> 00:07:38,724 Well, I... I mean, I guess, when you put it that way, 187 00:07:38,811 --> 00:07:40,095 we don't really have a choice. 188 00:07:40,183 --> 00:07:41,550 Exactly. 189 00:07:41,758 --> 00:07:43,557 Rent it to someone else. 190 00:07:47,409 --> 00:07:49,672 - What? - No... You... 191 00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,954 You realize you're gonna lose the apartment. 192 00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:54,581 - I know. - We know! 193 00:07:59,287 --> 00:08:00,941 Hey, let's go unpack, babe. 194 00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:03,583 I still get to use the hanger. 195 00:08:06,909 --> 00:08:08,144 Wow. 196 00:08:09,146 --> 00:08:11,745 I know this is probably too late, but, um... 197 00:08:12,386 --> 00:08:14,042 I don't want to have kids. 198 00:08:14,605 --> 00:08:16,605 [??] 199 00:08:18,862 --> 00:08:20,839 [??] 200 00:08:20,972 --> 00:08:21,907 VANESSA: Oh, I thought 201 00:08:21,995 --> 00:08:24,933 this would be the last gallon I'd have to buy. 202 00:08:25,103 --> 00:08:26,628 You know, that, you know, I-I could be 203 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:29,073 one of those elegant women who buys her milk 204 00:08:29,161 --> 00:08:32,112 one skinny quart at time. 205 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,477 But Mandy and Kyle are staying, 206 00:08:35,565 --> 00:08:39,815 so I guess I'm still "Ugly Jugs" Vanessa. 207 00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:45,855 Honey... your jugs are beautiful. 208 00:08:47,184 --> 00:08:48,230 Hey. 209 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:49,813 - Ooh, actually... - Uh-uh-uh... 210 00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:51,206 What? I'm thirsty. 211 00:08:51,294 --> 00:08:54,144 Drink water. Milk is for movers. 212 00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:58,232 I think what your father is trying to say is 213 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,714 what the hell are you and Kyle still doing here? 214 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,745 Hey, hey. [chuckles] I can't wait to get out of here. 215 00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,312 Right back at ya. 216 00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:06,656 The problem is this family is 217 00:09:06,743 --> 00:09:09,746 too loving and too supportive. 218 00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,798 Boy. That's gonna be an interesting call 219 00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,667 to social services. 220 00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:17,618 Well, you guys know Kyle grew up with an alcoholic mom 221 00:09:17,706 --> 00:09:19,042 in a condemned trailer. 222 00:09:19,129 --> 00:09:20,899 And then he comes here to a... to a caring, 223 00:09:20,987 --> 00:09:22,190 supportive family. 224 00:09:22,278 --> 00:09:24,480 I-I think maybe he wants more of that. 225 00:09:24,568 --> 00:09:27,456 Well, does explain why Kyle's been dragging his heels. 226 00:09:27,573 --> 00:09:29,183 - I mean, it's kind of sweet. - Yeah. 227 00:09:29,714 --> 00:09:32,743 So I created a wonderful home and family 228 00:09:32,831 --> 00:09:34,065 and, once again, 229 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,011 being too good at something bites me in the ass. 230 00:09:38,315 --> 00:09:40,126 Yeah, and those three pregnancies 231 00:09:40,214 --> 00:09:43,050 hardly took any toll at all on your figure. 232 00:09:44,307 --> 00:09:46,542 [??] 233 00:09:47,309 --> 00:09:49,006 - Retail area. - Uh-huh? 234 00:09:49,101 --> 00:09:51,402 There's a guy in a black leatherjacket with lots of buckles. 235 00:09:51,489 --> 00:09:52,403 - Uh. - Lots of buckles. 236 00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:53,386 - Got him. - Uh-huh. 237 00:09:53,502 --> 00:09:55,051 - Did you see him lift something? - No, no, no. 238 00:09:55,138 --> 00:09:57,315 Do you think I could pull off a coat like that? 239 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,084 Only in a cherry red convertible. 240 00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:02,940 [chuckles] 241 00:10:03,073 --> 00:10:05,347 Oh, uh, okay. Uh-oh. Boyd's here. 242 00:10:05,549 --> 00:10:07,597 - It's happening. - Huh. Oh. 243 00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:09,370 What-what, wait, wait, wait. 244 00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,581 That's the first place he'll look for you. Come on. 245 00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:17,355 - Okay. - Yeah. 246 00:10:19,929 --> 00:10:21,636 Shh, shh. 247 00:10:22,803 --> 00:10:25,667 Ed? Chuck? 248 00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:28,663 Hey, where are you guys? 249 00:10:28,851 --> 00:10:31,201 It's a perfect idea. 250 00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:33,986 This way he can't shake down people he can't find. 251 00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:37,757 Yeah. You know, I stared down the Iraqi army. 252 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:41,093 Now I'm hiding from a peewee music man. 253 00:10:42,077 --> 00:10:45,476 But the Iraqi army wasn't singing show tunes. 254 00:10:45,742 --> 00:10:47,182 [phone ringing] 255 00:10:47,537 --> 00:10:48,974 Come on, stop that. 256 00:10:49,062 --> 00:10:50,897 - Come on, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it. - I got it. Whoa. 257 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,992 Ooh. 258 00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:54,726 I got it. 259 00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:56,523 Turn the damn thing... 260 00:10:56,611 --> 00:10:59,101 - There it is. Okay. - Turn the damn thing off. 261 00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:01,601 What are you guys doing? 262 00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:04,640 - Chuck just dropped his phone. - Uh... 263 00:11:05,828 --> 00:11:07,093 Why is it so dark in here? 264 00:11:07,181 --> 00:11:09,273 - Uh, because the lights aren't on. - Yeah. 265 00:11:09,421 --> 00:11:12,264 - Ed, Ed, I told you, turn the lights on. - Okay. 266 00:11:13,271 --> 00:11:16,801 - Whoa. It's bright. - Let me ask you a question, fellas. 267 00:11:16,889 --> 00:11:17,926 - Yeah? - Yeah? 268 00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:19,991 Do you love love? 269 00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:22,796 - Yes. - Yes. 270 00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,895 Well, then, you're going to love the story 271 00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:28,638 of a flimflam man who travels town to town 272 00:11:28,726 --> 00:11:30,196 selling musical instruments 273 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,266 till one thing gets in his way. 274 00:11:33,394 --> 00:11:35,009 What do you think that is? 275 00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:37,766 - Love. - Love. 276 00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:41,351 [??] 277 00:11:43,621 --> 00:11:44,930 What's with the picnic basket? 278 00:11:45,018 --> 00:11:47,266 We usually go to the woods with guns. 279 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,641 This is for Kyle. He's having a hard time leaving. 280 00:11:51,907 --> 00:11:54,024 Then take him to the woods with guns. 281 00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:58,712 Your father has agreed to let me explain to Kyle 282 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,857 that family is family no matter where he lives. 283 00:12:00,945 --> 00:12:01,586 MIKE: Right. 284 00:12:01,674 --> 00:12:02,853 You know, sometimes I just prefer 285 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:04,680 to rip the Band-Aid off, all right? 286 00:12:04,778 --> 00:12:07,602 Damn it, I don't even like putting Band-Aids on. 287 00:12:07,877 --> 00:12:10,017 You'll see, you'll see. Once I talk to Kyle, 288 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,611 he will realize on his own that it's time to go. 289 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,314 Right. Or he'll just wait us out, 290 00:12:14,402 --> 00:12:16,659 take the master bedroom after we die. 291 00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:20,144 Then I'll take him to the woods with guns. 292 00:12:20,232 --> 00:12:21,674 What? 293 00:12:22,345 --> 00:12:24,714 Uh, Kyle... Hey. 294 00:12:25,122 --> 00:12:27,342 Uh, I packed this picnic basket 295 00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:29,388 full of all your favorite snacks. 296 00:12:29,839 --> 00:12:31,386 - My favorite snac... - Yeah. 297 00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:33,807 I thought they discontinued making choco-balls 298 00:12:33,895 --> 00:12:37,307 like ten years ago because they caused "lesions." 299 00:12:38,151 --> 00:12:40,547 Heh. No, no, no, no. No choco-balls. Okay, so... 300 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:44,125 Um, I just thought that maybe you and Mandy 301 00:12:44,213 --> 00:12:46,211 could take the picnic basket outside, 302 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:50,122 and you could realize that food tastes just as good 303 00:12:50,209 --> 00:12:51,752 no matter where you eat it. 304 00:12:51,862 --> 00:12:53,940 That's not true. I mean, there's something 305 00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:55,846 that's just so magical about your kitchen, 306 00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:59,002 and nobody beats Mr. B's waffles. 307 00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:01,612 That's very nice, but, uh, but 308 00:13:01,699 --> 00:13:02,886 what I'm trying to tell you is that... 309 00:13:02,973 --> 00:13:04,853 The only thing that my mom cooked in the kitchen was 310 00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:06,791 this... weird stuff that made her friends 311 00:13:06,878 --> 00:13:09,315 really excited to clean the trailer. 312 00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:12,603 Yeah, uh... 313 00:13:13,102 --> 00:13:14,929 look, I realize your childhood 314 00:13:15,017 --> 00:13:16,158 wasn't exactly ideal... 315 00:13:16,246 --> 00:13:20,142 Yeah, but it's okay now, 'cause living here with you guys 316 00:13:20,239 --> 00:13:22,697 has been the happiest time of my life. 317 00:13:23,257 --> 00:13:25,868 Which is why I'm not sure I'm ever gonna leave. 318 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:29,798 Mike. 319 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,734 Listen, Kyle, I'm gonna get ahold of the moving van. 320 00:13:36,821 --> 00:13:38,862 It'll be here in an hour. Your stuff's gonna be in it 321 00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:40,141 or in the front yard. 322 00:13:40,974 --> 00:13:42,852 Now, get out. 323 00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:48,251 That Band-Aid had a little hair on it. 324 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,438 [??] 325 00:13:53,931 --> 00:13:56,899 [??] 326 00:13:58,345 --> 00:14:01,790 I can't believe I have my own beautiful, perfect apartment. 327 00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:04,462 I want to kick you guys out of here so badly. 328 00:14:04,902 --> 00:14:06,672 Okay, well, a few last-minute things. 329 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,258 Uh, the curtains will be in tomorrow. 330 00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:11,044 Oh, and there is a bus that stops by every few days 331 00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:13,196 because we are on the "Haunted Denver" tour. 332 00:14:14,032 --> 00:14:15,899 Prison murder. Don't ask. 333 00:14:16,516 --> 00:14:18,571 Oh, where do you want the bowling balls? 334 00:14:19,219 --> 00:14:20,829 That's the last one. 335 00:14:20,955 --> 00:14:23,116 Now all that's left is back surgery 336 00:14:23,204 --> 00:14:25,430 and three months of physical therapy. 337 00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:28,379 Hey, how about your new landlord buys everybody lunch 338 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:29,559 at the Grill? 339 00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:31,795 I can get us a good table. I sleep with the manager. 340 00:14:31,883 --> 00:14:34,858 [chuckles] Oh, don't tell her I said that. 341 00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:38,092 Maybe Dad could join us. He likes to pay for things. 342 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,576 Actually, I'm-I'm not hungry. 343 00:14:39,664 --> 00:14:42,108 - I think I'll just get started unpacking. - Okay. 344 00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,069 What about you, Eve? 345 00:14:44,157 --> 00:14:46,028 Uh, I think I'll hang here, too. 346 00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:48,678 I lost my appetite when I fused my spine. 347 00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:54,108 Kyle, um, I think you and I need to talk. 348 00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:57,776 You know, Baxter son to Baxter son. 349 00:14:58,787 --> 00:15:01,865 Apparently I'm not a Baxter son. 350 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,519 Which... which I suppose is a good thing, 351 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,085 since I'm married to a Baxter daughter, 352 00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:11,225 and that would be, you know... disgusting. 353 00:15:11,516 --> 00:15:14,040 Well, Dad thinks of you as a son. 354 00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:15,483 Oh, yeah? 355 00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:18,156 Sure has a funny way of showing it. 356 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,608 Well, he has a funny way of showing most things. 357 00:15:22,048 --> 00:15:24,451 You kind of have to learn how to read him. 358 00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,722 He kicked me out. An-And I don't know why. 359 00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:28,976 I don't know what I did wrong. 360 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,521 You didn't do anything wrong. 361 00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:32,700 That's why he kicked you out. Don't you get that? 362 00:15:32,883 --> 00:15:34,870 Okay, this might be a little late in the game 363 00:15:34,958 --> 00:15:36,332 for me to ask this, since, you know, 364 00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:38,802 - I'm married into the family and all. - Yeah. Mm-hmm. 365 00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:41,732 But... are you people insane? 366 00:15:43,644 --> 00:15:45,880 Kyle, he knew it was time for you to move out. 367 00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,349 He knew you were ready. 368 00:15:47,818 --> 00:15:49,214 That's why, when he found out 369 00:15:49,309 --> 00:15:51,489 that you weren't going to pull the trigger, he did. 370 00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:54,482 And if there's one thing Dad knows, 371 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,048 it's... it's when to pull the trigger. 372 00:15:57,135 --> 00:15:58,763 I guess that's true. 373 00:15:58,963 --> 00:16:00,341 Of course it's true. 374 00:16:00,429 --> 00:16:02,344 And you want to know another thing that's true? 375 00:16:02,622 --> 00:16:04,872 You think you moving out is hard on you? 376 00:16:05,288 --> 00:16:08,325 Trust me, it's way harder on Dad. 377 00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,341 You think so? 378 00:16:11,593 --> 00:16:12,757 I do. 379 00:16:13,269 --> 00:16:14,833 That's why I know how to read him. 380 00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,536 You're a good brother, Eve. 381 00:16:21,404 --> 00:16:23,115 You think you could teach me how to read? 382 00:16:23,303 --> 00:16:24,638 Sure. 383 00:16:28,044 --> 00:16:29,950 You mean my dad, right? 384 00:16:31,318 --> 00:16:33,318 [??] 385 00:16:34,528 --> 00:16:36,552 Hey, guys, I'm back. 386 00:16:36,992 --> 00:16:40,325 Me, too, and I brought more muffins. 387 00:16:41,177 --> 00:16:44,180 Now, Ed, you bought the "Shipoopi" package. 388 00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:46,872 That gives you four tickets to each performance, 389 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,050 and a special lunch with the cast. 390 00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:51,232 I know what I did. 391 00:16:52,607 --> 00:16:53,794 And, Mr. Larabee. 392 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,568 - Now, now this is my favorite. - Mm. 393 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:58,341 - You get... - To build a gazebo. 394 00:16:58,732 --> 00:17:00,130 I know. 395 00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:02,816 Oh, you're gonna need an insurance waiver. 396 00:17:02,904 --> 00:17:05,505 What? An insurance waiver? 397 00:17:06,143 --> 00:17:08,247 [chuckles] If it helps, uh, 398 00:17:08,335 --> 00:17:10,293 we have to host the cast party. 399 00:17:10,453 --> 00:17:13,128 46 drama nerds spilling soda and spreading it 400 00:17:13,216 --> 00:17:15,966 all over my house with their jazz hands. 401 00:17:16,475 --> 00:17:18,608 I just bought myself another year 402 00:17:18,695 --> 00:17:21,286 to try to figure out how to say no to that kid. 403 00:17:21,577 --> 00:17:23,884 Next year they're doing Cats. 404 00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:26,646 - [sighs] - Oh, for the love of God. 405 00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:28,464 A-Am I gonna have to build some kind of 406 00:17:28,552 --> 00:17:30,505 giant litter box or something? 407 00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:33,917 - Hey, guys. - Hey, hey, Jen, Jen, Jen. 408 00:17:34,113 --> 00:17:37,214 Don't take this the wrong way, but get out. 409 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,214 Boyd's gonna get here any second. 410 00:17:39,302 --> 00:17:41,058 He's fund raising for his new play, so get... 411 00:17:41,146 --> 00:17:42,995 Hey, that's my kid. But he's right. 412 00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:44,569 You should totally just leave right now. Just go. 413 00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:45,620 ED: It's too late, too late, 414 00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:47,363 - too late. - Oh, Jen, great. 415 00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:48,930 Let me ask you a question. 416 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,996 - Do you love love? - Why? 417 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:55,048 Because if you do, you're going to love The Music Man. 418 00:17:55,136 --> 00:17:56,550 - It's the story of a guy... - Stop. 419 00:17:56,678 --> 00:17:58,972 - What? - Not interested. 420 00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:02,518 - But don't you want to know... - I do not. 421 00:18:05,872 --> 00:18:07,237 But it-it's a musical. 422 00:18:07,325 --> 00:18:09,549 Yeah, people don't like those. 423 00:18:12,443 --> 00:18:13,488 Let's go, Boyd. 424 00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:15,795 Uh... think we're done here. 425 00:18:15,882 --> 00:18:17,073 [chuckles] 426 00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,583 That is the most amazing thing 427 00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:22,019 I've ever seen. 428 00:18:23,089 --> 00:18:25,128 You don't seem to feel any guilt. 429 00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:26,915 How d-how did you do that? 430 00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:29,592 Well, I'll tell you. Right after I tell you 431 00:18:29,679 --> 00:18:32,667 about the geology club, which is raising money for a field trip. 432 00:18:37,693 --> 00:18:41,190 You two strike me as the type who would be... 433 00:18:41,278 --> 00:18:42,979 Limestone Members. 434 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,854 Hey, you got a check... 435 00:18:50,079 --> 00:18:51,330 Hello? 436 00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,580 Hey, Kyle. Kyle. 437 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,235 In the box? 438 00:18:58,155 --> 00:19:00,155 Oh, hey, Mr. B. 439 00:19:00,243 --> 00:19:01,592 Hey, buddy. 440 00:19:01,827 --> 00:19:04,233 You know, this place is starting to look pretty good. 441 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,866 Yeah, yeah, it's starting to feel like home. 442 00:19:06,954 --> 00:19:08,433 That's because it is a home. 443 00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,247 Can I get you anything? 444 00:19:10,335 --> 00:19:13,429 No, but, uh, I brought you something. 445 00:19:19,881 --> 00:19:21,012 This is yours. 446 00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:22,733 Yeah. Family heirloom. 447 00:19:23,474 --> 00:19:26,475 Oh. Cool. I'll-I'll tell Mandy you brought it by for her. 448 00:19:26,575 --> 00:19:29,725 Actually, uh, I brought it for you, Kyle. 449 00:19:31,843 --> 00:19:32,872 - Really? - You, uh... 450 00:19:32,959 --> 00:19:36,132 Vanessa's got a loom, but... that's stupid. 451 00:19:37,569 --> 00:19:39,397 Heirloom good. 452 00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:41,796 A loom, stupid. 453 00:19:43,077 --> 00:19:45,132 - Thank you, Mr. B. - Mm-hmm. 454 00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:47,343 Any time you want a waffle, you come by. 455 00:19:47,593 --> 00:19:49,741 Okay. Listen, I, uh... 456 00:19:49,976 --> 00:19:51,522 I should get back to work. 457 00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:54,048 A-And do you remember how I like the waffles? 458 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,179 Hard on the outside, soft on the inside. 459 00:19:57,913 --> 00:19:59,551 You know how to read me. 460 00:20:06,911 --> 00:20:08,911 [??] 461 00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:14,249 [??] 462 00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:16,612 Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man, 463 00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:20,343 reminding you that the outdoors has much to teach us. 464 00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:23,304 For example, you know one thing you'll never see in nature? 465 00:20:23,529 --> 00:20:26,022 A millennial still living at home. 466 00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:29,257 And you know why? It isn't good for them. 467 00:20:29,581 --> 00:20:31,975 Buy your own damn milk. 468 00:20:33,672 --> 00:20:35,370 You see, it really doesn't matter 469 00:20:35,457 --> 00:20:37,502 if the teat is attached to your mom, 470 00:20:37,589 --> 00:20:40,116 an almond or the government. 471 00:20:40,337 --> 00:20:42,121 If you suckle at it for too long, 472 00:20:42,209 --> 00:20:44,603 you won't know how to be a grown-up in the real world. 473 00:20:44,814 --> 00:20:46,076 Of course, in nature, 474 00:20:46,163 --> 00:20:48,233 the parents don't mess around. 475 00:20:49,327 --> 00:20:52,413 Birds will just launch the kid out of the nest. 476 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:56,137 They don't even check to see if the dude can fly. They're like, 477 00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:57,828 "Well, you got a couple seconds to figure it out, 478 00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,350 otherwise you're gonna get eaten down there." 479 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,249 With people, it's a little trickier. 480 00:21:03,337 --> 00:21:04,746 Especially the-the people 481 00:21:04,834 --> 00:21:06,983 your very loving wife gave birth to. 482 00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:09,665 If you're really lucky, your grown-up kid who lives at home 483 00:21:09,752 --> 00:21:12,710 will get married, and you get to take in a stray. 484 00:21:13,509 --> 00:21:16,765 It's like birth one, get one free. 485 00:21:17,533 --> 00:21:20,065 You ever see those videos where the goat folds in 486 00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,007 with the family dogs until he thinks he's a dog? 487 00:21:23,095 --> 00:21:25,141 Well... [imitates goat] 488 00:21:25,563 --> 00:21:27,739 ...we had a goat. 489 00:21:28,194 --> 00:21:29,788 He thought he was one of us. 490 00:21:29,876 --> 00:21:32,272 Thought he was one of us. [chuckles] 491 00:21:32,403 --> 00:21:35,319 And I hope that he knows that he is 492 00:21:35,445 --> 00:21:36,866 and always will be. 493 00:21:37,475 --> 00:21:38,819 Baxter out. 494 00:21:43,076 --> 00:21:45,663 [??] 495 00:21:49,879 --> 00:21:51,147 [chicken clucks] 496 00:21:51,235 --> 00:21:52,757 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH. 497 00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:54,225 Sync corrections by srjanapala 498 00:21:55,140 --> 00:21:56,799 Still need more laughs after Last Man Standing? 499 00:21:56,886 --> 00:22:00,132 Then here are a few more shows to check out from 00:22:02,716 ANNOUNCER: It"s outrageous. 501 00:22:02,804 --> 00:22:03,700 Oh, my God! 502 00:22:03,788 --> 00:22:05,177 It"s outlandish! 503 00:22:05,265 --> 00:22:06,692 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 504 00:22:06,780 --> 00:22:08,044 - It"s out of control. - Aaaah! 505 00:22:08,132 --> 00:22:10,981 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 506 00:22:11,069 --> 00:22:12,458 It"s Fox Sunday! 507 00:22:12,546 --> 00:22:13,985 - Oh... - My... 508 00:22:14,072 --> 00:22:16,509 - Freakin"... - [farts] 509 00:22:16,596 --> 00:22:17,728 Oh, my God. 510 00:22:17,815 --> 00:22:19,983 Sundays, only on Fox! 511 00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:21,324 Oh, my God, oh, my God!