1 00:00:26,850 --> 00:00:29,770 If bricks could talk, what stories you could tell. 2 00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:33,010 I'll bet you've seen some sights in your time. 3 00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:37,300 Mr Hollis. 4 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,280 I was just going down memory lane. 5 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,980 My grandfather used to work here. 6 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,660 It's a pity you can't follow his example, lad. 7 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,200 Put that stuff in the stores and stay clear. 8 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,720 We're just about to bring these chimneys down. 9 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,120 Yes. 10 00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:53,840 Yes, I'm afraid they've had their last smoke. 11 00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:57,320 Sorry if you don't get a move on. They're waiting to start blasting. 12 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,119 All clear? 13 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,239 Yes. Right on schedule. 14 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:06,680 One minute to go. 15 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,200 Attention! 16 00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:12,580 Attention! 17 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,260 Blasting in 60 seconds! 18 00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:24,080 Yes, it's been a few years since my grandfather's done really good at your 19 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:29,440 columns. I can just see him now, standing here, warming his bread and 20 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,340 over his old pipe, and with a smile on his feet. 21 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,660 Yes, only another 15 minutes now and it's all coming to an end. 22 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,260 He is a smoking service. 23 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,620 Now it's only 10. 24 00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:18,930 I've got a package for you. 25 00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:20,230 It's my ears. 26 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,130 I didn't hear you. 27 00:03:24,030 --> 00:03:25,430 And a letter as well. 28 00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:26,730 There's no need to shout. 29 00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,170 But you said you couldn't hear. 30 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:33,090 The letter was delayed. It was sent to your old address. 31 00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:39,890 I haven't seen your dog lately, Columbo. All right, is he? 32 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,310 Yes, fine, thank you. 33 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:42,870 But the cat's run off. 34 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,750 I think she's trying to find our old house. 35 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,960 Yeah, well, we've all been trying to find your old house. That's what caused 36 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:52,020 It was number 49 next to number 48. 37 00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:55,580 Yeah, well, there's nothing next to number 48. Just a great pile of bricks. 38 00:03:55,940 --> 00:03:57,580 You mean they haven't repaired it yet? 39 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,240 Good heavens above, what's the world coming to? When I was there, I 40 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,260 rebuilt that house. 41 00:04:03,940 --> 00:04:04,940 What? 42 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,300 You got it too, have you? 43 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,840 It's the bells. 44 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,720 It's ringing in my ears. 45 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,860 I was chased by a chimney last week. 46 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,480 It's a miracle my hearing's still here. 47 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,120 Pardon? 48 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,300 The only reason I'm talking to you today is because I'm still here. 49 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,600 If I'd stayed where I was, I'd still be there. 50 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,020 Good day. 51 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,640 Silly sod. 52 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,370 There's a parcel for Jessica. 53 00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,570 Did she send away for anything? 54 00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:54,690 I don't know, Frank. She did type quite a few letters last week. 55 00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:58,390 Oh, it's from Dr. 56 00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:01,770 Mender. How did he know it was her birthday this Saturday? 57 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:05,790 Oh, well, he always remembers because his birthday's on the same day. 58 00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:07,230 Oh. 59 00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:09,310 Oh, it's a little duck. 60 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,330 It's lucky he posted it in plenty of time. 61 00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:21,870 This kangaroo stand's been travelling for weeks. 62 00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:23,710 Kangaroo stand? 63 00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,750 It's from Grandad Spencer. 64 00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,110 He's written to me from Australia. 65 00:05:30,550 --> 00:05:31,850 I thought he was dead. 66 00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,470 No, he wasn't when he wrote this. 67 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:41,450 Dear Frank, don't worry if you've lost my address because I'm not there 68 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:46,220 You'll be in... Interested to know that your cousin Harold has now settled over 69 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,800 here and has been fighting with the Australian Army. 70 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:54,580 He has also been fighting with the Australian Navy. 71 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:58,440 Five civilians and a prison governor. 72 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,920 Does he mention me? 73 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,020 Oh, yes. P .S., by the way, do you still have the cat? 74 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,020 And P .P .S., how's Lettie? 75 00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:10,260 That's nice. 76 00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:13,160 Well, you should hear what he calls Auntie Dingle. What? 77 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,280 Woolloomooloo. 78 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,320 Woolloomooloo? I have now left Woolloomooloo and bought a sheep farm. 79 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,800 A sheep farm at his age? 80 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:25,100 He's not that old, and the spinsters are very fit. 81 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,820 My mother was always very healthy, even when she died. 82 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:33,100 Well, it's probably only a small farm. 83 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,020 Small? It's colossal. It's got 20 ,000 sheep. 84 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,420 20 ,000 sheep. 85 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:41,700 Imagine shaving that lot. 86 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,180 Andy wants me to take flying lessons. 87 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,680 You can't take flying lessons. Why not? 88 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,580 There'll be a piece of pudding after all my RAF experience. 89 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,140 Then we can go out there and run the farm for him. 90 00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:58,840 You mean he wants us to live out there? 91 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,780 Well, I can't run it from here, Betty. 92 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,500 That was the chance of a lifetime learning to fly. 93 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,000 I'll be like the flying doctor. 94 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,270 Frankie's running a sheep farm, not a hospital. 95 00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:12,730 All right, then. 96 00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:14,150 The Flying Shepherd. 97 00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:19,390 But, I mean, you've never met him. He hasn't written for years. Why does he 98 00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:20,289 you now? 99 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:22,290 Well, because I'm the last of the Spencers. 100 00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:23,930 I'm his air soul. 101 00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:29,730 Air soul? 102 00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:32,230 His air soul, apparently. 103 00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:35,210 Apart from Jessica, and she's a girl. 104 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:37,510 So that makes me the male limit. 105 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,900 out to Australia just like that? I mean, I can't decide to spend the rest of my 106 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,320 life with a man I've never even seen before. 107 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,580 Well, you'd never seen me until we met. 108 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,700 Betty's coming to see us. 109 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,640 When? It's all right, it's all right. We've got plenty of time. 110 00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:58,400 I can't get away for at least three months. 111 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,560 But that letter was posted three months ago. 112 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:08,060 Three months? Oh, that means... Oh, and we haven't even got the spare room 113 00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:09,060 ready. 114 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,590 I'll have to buy another sheet. 115 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:17,070 Frank, have you really made your mind up about this? Oh, Betty, when I make my 116 00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:18,490 mind up, I make my mind up. 117 00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:20,970 We'll get two new blankets as well. 118 00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:24,850 There. 119 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,430 And you stand over there. 120 00:08:27,630 --> 00:08:29,630 That should make him feel more at home. 121 00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:34,470 Frank? 122 00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:37,630 Yes? Do you think he'd like a pot in his room? 123 00:08:39,909 --> 00:08:40,950 right next door to the bathroom. 124 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:43,730 Oh, 125 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:49,230 I see you've brought your record player in. Yeah, well, I thought he might like 126 00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,230 a little music. 127 00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:54,870 I couldn't get any waltz in Matilda, but I've got a few Frank Highfields for 128 00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:57,310 him. And an LP of the second test. 129 00:08:58,410 --> 00:08:59,450 Do you want to hear it? 130 00:08:59,670 --> 00:09:00,730 No, not now, Frank. 131 00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:04,850 Listen, I think we'll leave the window open in case the cat comes back. 132 00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:09,000 Yes. She hasn't been the same since she fell in the rhubarb wine. 133 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,180 I've told the police she's missing. 134 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:14,680 Well, I just hope they don't try to breathalyser. 135 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:18,640 Mind you, she should have sobered up by now. 136 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,800 She's already spent four days on the roof trying to sleep it off. 137 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:27,200 What a week this has been, Frank. I've had so much on my mind lately. What with 138 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:32,240 you nearly killed at the brickworks and Grandfather's arrival and Jessica's... 139 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,670 I've tried twice. 140 00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:43,210 Oh, that reminds me. I saw Dr Mender today and I thanked him for the birthday 141 00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,530 present. Oh, good. 142 00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,510 Did you notice anything strange about him? 143 00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:49,950 Well, he did seem a bit worried. 144 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,510 I could hear him talking to himself before I went in. 145 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,790 Really? But did he recognise you? 146 00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:58,150 Well, of course he did. 147 00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:03,990 Only I saw him in the high street last week a couple of times and I waved to 148 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,410 him. And he looked right through me and hurried away. 149 00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:08,990 He's done that several times. 150 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,630 Look, will you be seeing him tomorrow? 151 00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,390 Later in the day, I think, yes, I will do. 152 00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:18,570 But I want to call in at the second -hand shop first, because they've got 153 00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:20,330 chimney -sweeping equipment in the window. 154 00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:21,790 Oh, good. 155 00:10:22,630 --> 00:10:24,470 Then you can give him a present. 156 00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:26,210 Oh, what's that? 157 00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:28,030 I've bought him a potpourri. 158 00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:30,850 Really? I thought he was a Baptist. 159 00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:33,630 No. 160 00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:35,560 of those little ornaments. 161 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:39,960 It's a little ornament that gives out a scent like flowers. 162 00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,160 Oh, that's nice. It all smells. 163 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:46,400 So whenever he gets a funny smell, he'll think of us. 164 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,180 That's it. 165 00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:53,740 Right. Oh, woe is me. 166 00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:56,120 No. Oh, woe is me. 167 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,600 Alas, alas, alas, I'm so unhappy. 168 00:11:02,689 --> 00:11:05,990 Misery is mine. Oh, really, this dialogue is appalling. 169 00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:13,770 Deserted by those I love, all alone in the world, without a single 170 00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,350 friend. Yes? 171 00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:17,470 Oh, it's you, Hutchins. 172 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,810 You're not so worried about that script. Yes, I'm sorry I let you talk me into 173 00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:22,529 it now. 174 00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:24,950 Why don't you find somebody else for the parts? But why? 175 00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:29,230 Maitland says you were marvellous in your last hospital panto. Good Lord, 176 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,130 was 40 years ago at medical school. 177 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,380 I don't know what my private patients will say. 178 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,040 Well, it's just as bad for me. I'm in it as well. 179 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,340 Anyway, nobody's going to recognise us in costume. 180 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,860 That's the only reason I'm doing it. 181 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,660 Even so, some of my patients are going to consider it rather odd for a man in 182 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,660 position. 183 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,380 Fortunately, some of my patients are a bit odd themselves. 184 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:23,130 is mine 185 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:31,750 deserted 186 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:37,410 by those I love 187 00:13:07,150 --> 00:13:08,150 Dr. Mender. 188 00:13:09,350 --> 00:13:11,090 He didn't even wash his hands. 189 00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:16,850 Yes? 190 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,590 Yes? 191 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,470 Come in! 192 00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:28,730 Dr. Mender? 193 00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:30,010 Oh. 194 00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:31,850 It's Mr. Spencer. 195 00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:34,570 I'm over here. 196 00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,290 Spencer, I just wish you went. 197 00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:42,050 I just thought that maybe you couldn't see me. 198 00:13:45,810 --> 00:13:48,150 Have I called at an awkward time? 199 00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:49,830 You always call at an awkward time. 200 00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:52,790 My clinic closed two hours ago. 201 00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:54,050 Oh, I'm sorry. 202 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:55,450 Thank you. 203 00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:59,270 But I called about a personal matter. 204 00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:01,190 Mr Spencer, why are you here? 205 00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:04,930 I wanted to tell you something. What? 206 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,470 It's Saturday tomorrow. 207 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,030 Is that what you came to tell me? 208 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,490 No, I haven't finished yet. Well, I have. 209 00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:18,310 I'm up to my eyes in work, and you have been to see me nine times in the past 210 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:19,069 two weeks. 211 00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:21,490 Well, that's not my fault. That was because of my hearing accident. 212 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,270 I've been in deaf shock for a week. 213 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,230 Haven't we all? 214 00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:32,910 I just wanted to tell you that on Saturday is Jessica's birthday and 215 00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:34,850 Oh. Oh, I see. 216 00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:37,500 Yes, all right, sit down, sit down. Thank you. 217 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,560 I haven't got long. 218 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,280 Oh, dear. 219 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:49,140 Well, first of all, I wanted to say thank you for Jessica's present. And 220 00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:50,920 said ta -tas as well. 221 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:55,880 Well, she didn't really, but when I mentioned your name and showed her the 222 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,560 little duck, she knew what I was talking about. 223 00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,140 Quite all right, my pleasure. 224 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:04,200 Well, the thing is, you see... 225 00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:09,760 The thing is, it's better than my birthday soon as well. But we want to 226 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,280 that because we don't want you to feel that just because we got you something 227 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,560 that you've got to get us something. 228 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:20,080 Because if you get us something just because we got you, then we won't get 229 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,080 anything at all. 230 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:23,740 Because then you wouldn't have to get us anything. 231 00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:27,120 But you have got us something already, although you haven't really. 232 00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:31,230 But as you've got something for Jessica, it's the same as I found it, isn't it? 233 00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:35,030 So, you don't have to do anything just because we have. 234 00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:47,710 You did say your daughter knew what you were talking about. 235 00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:51,550 Well, I'm glad someone does. 236 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:53,830 That's not very nice. 237 00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:55,890 We got you a present. 238 00:15:56,970 --> 00:16:02,390 Oh, I see. Well, I certainly didn't expect... Well, thank you, and please 239 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:07,010 Mrs Spencer. It's very kind of you to think of sending me something. No, no, I 240 00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,010 didn't send it. 241 00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,350 I brought it with me. 242 00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:14,150 Brought it with you? Yes. Now, you're not to look at it until Saturday, 243 00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:15,150 that would spoil it. 244 00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:16,570 You promise now? 245 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:19,270 I promise. 246 00:16:20,410 --> 00:16:23,490 Now, you can hang it in any room in the house. 247 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:28,720 But it would be nice if you put it inside the hall. And then whenever you 248 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,560 friends coming round, you'd open the door and they'd all go, Ooh! 249 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,320 Dr. Mender! 250 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,100 Yes, they certainly would. 251 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,160 There. What's this? 252 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:40,800 That's your present. 253 00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,360 Oh, I see! 254 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,360 Well, then, this is your brush. 255 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,160 Yes, you can't have them both. 256 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,340 I was a little bit confused. I've had a lot on my mind lately. 257 00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:58,700 Dr Mender. 258 00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:03,760 Yes. I know it's none of my business, but you've been very good to us. 259 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,520 And I know you think I'm a bit of a mutant sometimes. 260 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Yes. 261 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,319 But I'm always here. 262 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,140 Yes, I know. 263 00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:17,880 No, I mean, I'm always here if you need a friend. 264 00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:22,500 Now, as my mother always said, a trouble shed is a trouble doubled. 265 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:27,420 So if you do want to talk about it... Talk about what? 266 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,420 Well, you know, I was in a little boy's room. 267 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:37,380 I didn't mean to listen, but I couldn't help hearing what you said in your 268 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,360 cubicle closet. 269 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:45,740 Well, I can explain about that. No, no, there's no need to be ashamed of. Oh, 270 00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:46,860 yes, I know, I know, I know. 271 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,600 I'd be very grateful if you would just keep it to yourself. 272 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:50,920 Of course, of course. 273 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,140 My lips are solid. 274 00:17:57,260 --> 00:18:02,720 By the way, if ever you want your chimney swept... Mr. Spencer, you swept 275 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:03,780 chimney four years ago. 276 00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,400 The brush is still up there. 277 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,440 You've got a good memory. 278 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:55,259 any more trouble. 279 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,880 My wife is trying to get to sleep. 280 00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:00,540 Well, it's only five o 'clock in the afternoon. 281 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,860 Doesn't she go to sleep at night? 282 00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,260 Since you came here, nobody sleeps at night. 283 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,240 Yeah, look, what are you doing at one o 'clock this morning? You were standing 284 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,700 on top of your coal shed, waving a kipper and whistling. 285 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,460 My cat's run away. 286 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,460 I was trying to attract her. 287 00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:18,660 You can attract anyone. 288 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,100 Yeah, look, two o 'clock this morning, you're on the telephone shouting your 289 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,800 head off. What were you trying to do, get through to Australia? 290 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,320 Yeah. 291 00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:32,130 I don't think that's funny. No, no, I don't think anything's funny. 292 00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:37,230 I was trying to get through to my grandfather in Australia, but over 293 00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:38,550 their clocks are upside down. 294 00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:40,950 See, they sleep during our day. 295 00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:43,030 In this street, you don't get to sleep night or day. 296 00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:47,010 It's not my fault. I tried to call him this morning. 297 00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:50,830 But in Australia, he lives right out in the back out, see? 298 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,570 And there the kangaroo must have kicked down his lines. 299 00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:56,210 Oh, hello, Mr Lewis. 300 00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:57,890 Have you finished, Frank? 301 00:19:58,270 --> 00:20:01,870 No, I have not finished, Frank. But I will finish, Frank, one day. 302 00:20:02,270 --> 00:20:03,630 I will, one day. 303 00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:11,830 I think he's cracking. 304 00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:16,770 I can't understand it. Our last neighbour, it took six... 305 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,280 before he broke down. 306 00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,920 Oh, she's... That's Jessica. 307 00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,620 Yeah, she must have found her Jubilee coin. 308 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:29,880 What? Well, I just thought for a nice birthday surprise, she'd just like to 309 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,460 up and see the Queen's head under her pillow. 310 00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:39,500 Dr Mender, 311 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,399 yes. 312 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,400 Horace Hutchins. 313 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:46,060 What? A rehearsal for the hospital pantomime tonight? 314 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,640 No, you did not mention it this morning. 315 00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:54,620 Well, look, I've only just got my costume. I haven't even tried it on yet. 316 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,700 Oh, yes, I'm sure Matron's looking forward to it. 317 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,680 Oh, very well, I'll come round as soon as I can. 318 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000 Doctors. 319 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,760 I should have gone to sea like my father. 320 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,100 You know where you are with sailors. 321 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,440 Yes? I've just had a call from a Mr Spencer. 322 00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:15,520 I can't see Mr Spencer now. Tell him to stay in shock until tomorrow. 323 00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,040 No, it's not him. It's his little girl. 324 00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:21,080 He said she swallowed the Queen's head. 325 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,140 Oh, no. 326 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,480 Oh, get on to Dr. Hutchins. Tell him what's happened. 327 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,120 Tell him to meet me at 27 Sodbury Terrace in about half an hour. And tell 328 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,560 we'll go on to the rehearsal from there. 329 00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:33,380 Oh. 330 00:21:42,939 --> 00:21:46,620 Mr Lewis, I'm afraid you've appeared at a bad time. When you appeared, it was a 331 00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:50,220 bad time for all of us. All I've heard for the past half hour is you shouting 332 00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:50,719 and hollering. 333 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,300 Because I've been strucken with the panic strict up there. 334 00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:56,820 He had to call the doctor. 335 00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:59,880 Oh, I see. He's taken your ways. 336 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000 Not me. 337 00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,040 It's Jessica who's not very well. 338 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:09,260 As for my own defect, it seems to me that my ears are just too big a problem 339 00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:10,440 the National Health to cope with. 340 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:12,520 Your ear is what I defective. 341 00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:13,980 It's what's in between them. 342 00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:16,360 I beg your pardon? 343 00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:20,240 I am on early shift tomorrow morning, four o 'clock, and I am now going to 344 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:24,300 sleep. If you give one single shout, drop one single screwdriver, or wave one 345 00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:28,560 single kipper, you will be the first man to go into orbit with my boot as a fuel 346 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,560 pipe. 347 00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:32,500 Fuel pipe, indeed. 348 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,780 Looking at me in that tone of voice? 349 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,080 Any more of that and you'll be laughing on the other side of your boot. 350 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:52,020 Mrs. Spencer, your daughter is perfectly all right. Oh, good. 351 00:22:52,340 --> 00:22:53,380 This is for Mr. Spencer. 352 00:22:54,060 --> 00:22:56,280 It might help to calm him down, if anything can. 353 00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:01,420 Well, I'm so sorry you had a wasted journey, Doctor, but Frank really did 354 00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:05,160 that she'd swallowed that coin. And then when he shouted for me, she'd already 355 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,160 been sick. 356 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,780 Mrs. Spencer, I think I'd be sick if your husband held me upside down and 357 00:23:09,780 --> 00:23:10,780 me. 358 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,500 She was so frightened. 359 00:23:12,780 --> 00:23:13,780 Of course she was frightened. 360 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,980 Mr. Spencer charging around the bedrooms doesn't have to frighten anyone. 361 00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:19,740 Standing still, he can be quite alarming. 362 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:28,360 Oh, Dr. Mender, before you disperse your tools, could you have a look at my 363 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:29,360 ears, please? 364 00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:33,140 Frank, the doctor is in much too much of a hurry to look at your ears. It won't 365 00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:34,580 take a minute. I've got them with me. 366 00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:39,240 Mr. Spencer, there is nothing more I can do for you. 367 00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:42,060 What do you mean they're beyond all medical aid? 368 00:23:42,730 --> 00:23:45,770 Mr Spencer, I sometimes think you've always been beyond all medical aid. 369 00:23:46,470 --> 00:23:48,530 In that case, you leave me no alternative. 370 00:23:48,930 --> 00:23:51,450 I shall transport my hearing aid to Harlot Street. 371 00:23:54,570 --> 00:23:56,270 I shall seek a second opinion. 372 00:23:56,590 --> 00:23:58,330 You've had three opinions already. 373 00:23:58,550 --> 00:24:01,570 You've seen Dr Hutchins at the hospital, you've seen my colleague, and you've 374 00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:03,790 seen me. I can't give you any more treatment. 375 00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:07,750 It's just a question of time. Your ears will be perfectly all right. 376 00:24:08,570 --> 00:24:09,570 Pardon? 377 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:12,760 coffee. Pardon? 378 00:24:13,540 --> 00:24:14,580 You got it as well. 379 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:16,880 It's the bells. 380 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,920 Frank, just put the gas on. I'll pop up and see if Jessica's all right. 381 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,260 I'm sorry I was irritable just now. It's just that I've had a lot on my mind 382 00:24:25,260 --> 00:24:25,819 this week. 383 00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:26,980 That's all right, Dr. Mender. 384 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,840 I've explained it all to her. 385 00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:34,060 All alone in a world without a friend. Oh, don't remind me about that. I 386 00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:35,220 I asked you to keep it to yourself. 387 00:24:35,980 --> 00:24:39,820 Oh, well, we can't have secrets amongst friends, can we? 388 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,880 And you are amongst friends. 389 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,140 Would you like a sausage roll? 390 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,280 Excuse fingers. 391 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,660 No, I don't think... Good heavens, I shall hardly have time to change. 392 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,340 Now we don't dress for dinner. 393 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:55,500 You don't understand. 394 00:24:55,780 --> 00:24:59,220 I'm due at the hospital in ten minutes and I have to dress up. Oh, a special 395 00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:00,220 occasion? 396 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,220 It's all right. She's fast asleep. 397 00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:05,720 Spencer, I think I'd better forget about the coffee. I have to be at the 398 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:06,459 hospital with you. 399 00:25:06,460 --> 00:25:08,220 No, no, it's only just round the corner. 400 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,480 You can change upstairs while your coffee's perfor -shaking. 401 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,520 Is that all right, Betty? Well, of course it is. Oh, do stay, Doctor. 402 00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:17,820 Please. Please do. 403 00:25:18,020 --> 00:25:21,000 All right. It would save a bit of time. Thank you, yes. 404 00:25:21,300 --> 00:25:22,560 My clothes and the car. 405 00:25:24,620 --> 00:25:25,620 Frank. 406 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,100 Frank, what's he going to the hospital for? 407 00:25:32,510 --> 00:25:35,650 Well, he's got a special function on and he's going to wear a dinner jacket. 408 00:25:36,010 --> 00:25:39,050 I think a night out will do him good. What did you think of him? 409 00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:41,710 Well, I didn't think he was looking his old self. 410 00:25:41,970 --> 00:25:42,970 No, nor did I. 411 00:25:43,230 --> 00:25:45,330 I'm glad my mother's not alive to see it. 412 00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:47,810 It's just like my Uncle Albert. 413 00:25:48,470 --> 00:25:50,030 The one who thought he was Nelson? 414 00:25:50,490 --> 00:25:52,070 No, no, that was his son, Mildred. 415 00:25:55,650 --> 00:25:59,750 Now, Uncle Albert was just like Dr Mender. Got very depressed. 416 00:26:00,510 --> 00:26:04,450 One day he just went in, jumped in the bath and sank eight of Mildred's 417 00:26:04,450 --> 00:26:05,450 battleships. 418 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:09,030 And when she went in to try and get them back, he stuck his carbolic up her 419 00:26:09,030 --> 00:26:10,030 telescope. 420 00:26:54,729 --> 00:26:56,650 My zipper's stuck. Could you give me a hand? 421 00:26:58,330 --> 00:27:04,710 You can't reach me from there, huh? 422 00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:06,470 I don't want to reach you. 423 00:27:07,750 --> 00:27:11,390 Mr Spencer, I don't have too much time. I have to wear this tonight. 424 00:27:11,890 --> 00:27:13,870 Dr Mender, you can't go out like that. 425 00:27:14,990 --> 00:27:16,950 What's the matter with you? You look like a woman. 426 00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:20,250 Well, I should hope so. That's the whole idea. 427 00:27:44,170 --> 00:27:45,990 like it. No wonder the cat ran under the bed. 428 00:27:47,570 --> 00:27:51,730 What are you talking about? Stop saying such silly things. I'm not. He asked me 429 00:27:51,730 --> 00:27:52,730 to zip him up. 430 00:27:53,490 --> 00:27:58,010 He's standing there. Mrs. Spencer, I think I've forgotten a handbag. I wonder 431 00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:59,010 you have one I could borrow. 432 00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:05,590 I thought you were joking. 433 00:28:05,830 --> 00:28:09,970 Joking? Was Uncle Alfred joking when he sunk Mildred's battleship? 434 00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,070 What are we going to do? 435 00:28:12,470 --> 00:28:13,530 We can't go in and go out. 436 00:28:13,870 --> 00:28:15,250 Like that, the neighbours might think it's me. 437 00:28:16,430 --> 00:28:17,990 I tell you what. 438 00:28:18,410 --> 00:28:20,710 You go up there and talk to him, woman to woman. 439 00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:23,190 I'll call our doctor. 440 00:28:23,930 --> 00:28:25,170 He is our doctor. 441 00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:26,710 He is our doctor. 442 00:28:27,710 --> 00:28:30,050 I'll call the hospital. I'll get someone else's doctor. 443 00:28:30,370 --> 00:28:34,250 Go on, you go up there. I'm right behind you. Oh, Frank, I'd be a lot happier if 444 00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:35,650 you were right in front of me. 445 00:28:35,970 --> 00:28:39,070 Oh, look, you go and face him and I'll phone the hospital. 446 00:28:39,670 --> 00:28:40,670 All right. 447 00:28:41,090 --> 00:28:42,090 All right. 448 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,080 After all, I am the head man in the house. 449 00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:48,180 I'm the only man in the house. 450 00:28:50,540 --> 00:28:51,860 All right, Dr. Mender. 451 00:28:52,780 --> 00:28:53,780 Don't be afraid. 452 00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:57,860 There's no need to hide. I'm your friend. 453 00:28:58,640 --> 00:28:59,800 No, I'm not your friend. 454 00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:05,780 Where have you gone? 455 00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:07,300 To my car. 456 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,960 Wasted enough time already. 457 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,440 All I want you to do is help me. I will. I will. 458 00:29:13,870 --> 00:29:14,870 fight this together. 459 00:29:15,570 --> 00:29:17,030 What the devil are you talking about? 460 00:29:17,250 --> 00:29:20,070 Please, please, just keep saying to yourself, I'm a man. 461 00:29:20,330 --> 00:29:21,330 I'm a man. 462 00:29:21,610 --> 00:29:23,110 I'm Dr. Mender, the man. 463 00:29:23,770 --> 00:29:27,270 Will you get out of my way? You can't sit stuck in outside that front door. 464 00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:29,370 Think of your wife. 465 00:29:29,650 --> 00:29:30,650 I haven't got a wife. 466 00:29:31,010 --> 00:29:32,430 That explains a great deal. 467 00:29:33,910 --> 00:29:35,750 Well, think of my wife. Think of me. 468 00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:38,010 It's impossible not to. You're never out of my sight. 469 00:29:39,150 --> 00:29:40,150 There's the neighbors. 470 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,140 Have you gone mad? Those bells, those bells. 471 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,720 Oh, my God. 472 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,900 They'll put a stocking over your head. They'll think it's her mother. 473 00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:53,460 It's her mother. 474 00:29:53,940 --> 00:29:57,980 Dr Hutchings from the hospital. Is this Dr Mender? My goodness, you were quick. 475 00:29:58,340 --> 00:29:59,340 Oh, no. 476 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:01,620 Not you. 477 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,560 Hutchings, thank goodness you're here. 478 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,900 May I intercept you, please? 479 00:30:06,220 --> 00:30:07,800 What's wrong with you this time? 480 00:30:08,060 --> 00:30:09,060 It's Dr Mender. 481 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:12,000 I know it's Dr. Mender. 482 00:30:12,260 --> 00:30:14,040 Well, don't you notice anything different about him? 483 00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:16,060 In what way? 484 00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:19,480 He's wearing a dress. 485 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,520 Well, I can see that. Is that what you're wearing tonight? Yeah, if I ever 486 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,740 there. But you can't go out like that. 487 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:26,919 No, it is a bit chilly. 488 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,260 You'd better borrow my overcoat. 489 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,560 Come on, Hutchins. We should be on the stage by now. 490 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:51,180 Curtain went up at 7 .30. 491 00:30:51,380 --> 00:30:52,380 On the stage? 492 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,440 Yes, it's a dress rehearsal at the Hospital of Pantomime. 493 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,700 The Pantomime? Yes. 494 00:30:57,380 --> 00:30:58,380 Oh! 495 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:01,080 We're the Ugly Sisters. 496 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,880 You're the Ugly... Well, you don't look that bad. 497 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,000 And all the time we thought that you was a couple of... No. 498 00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:12,660 We're the Ugly Sisters. 499 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:14,780 And we're one short. No. 500 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,440 The third one's gone down with gum. One short? 501 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,320 Well, then, I could be the solution to your problem. 502 00:31:21,420 --> 00:31:23,400 I've done a bit of thespianism myself. 503 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,040 So I could be your ugly sister. 504 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,980 Don't be ridiculous, ma 'am. Well, I've already got my costume. I made it for 505 00:31:30,980 --> 00:31:32,260 the Sodbury Terrace Carnival. 506 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,460 Cheeses of all nations float. 507 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,980 But they had one cheese too many and pushed me off the float. 508 00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:41,660 My dear fellow, I haven't time to listen to all this rubbish about change. Have 509 00:31:41,660 --> 00:31:42,820 I got time to change? 510 00:31:43,020 --> 00:31:44,660 Change? I'll be right there. 511 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:52,240 I am a little Dutch girl done up with paint and powder. I'm here to please 512 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,300 edam cheese and half a pound of gouda. 513 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,640 Dutch girl? 514 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,300 Gouda? What's he talking about? 515 00:32:02,500 --> 00:32:03,500 Oh, come on, Amanda. 516 00:32:03,620 --> 00:32:05,000 Now he's woken up, Jessica. 517 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,620 Would you excuse me? 518 00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:09,160 It's all right, darling. Mummy's coming. 519 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,980 What that poor woman has to put up with. 520 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,480 You mean a difficult child? No, a difficult husband. 521 00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:21,280 Lettie! You look exactly like your photo. 522 00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:29,080 I beg your pardon, sir. 523 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,160 I am the family doctor. 524 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:36,080 Lettie? 525 00:32:36,620 --> 00:32:37,700 Certainly not. 526 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:43,500 I've seen some ugly -looking pom -sheilas, but starve the lizards. 527 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,200 Oh, if you're the third ugly sister, I'm afraid they've gone. 528 00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:54,940 Will somebody tell me what's going on here? I've just flown 13 ,000 miles and 529 00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:55,940 arms are tired. 530 00:32:57,580 --> 00:32:58,720 Yes, Grandpa! 531 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,160 Yes! 532 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:07,460 Now, where is my grandson?