1
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,798
Hey, everybody!
It's closing time

2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,718
You don't gotta go home
but you can't stay here.

3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,851
Closing time!

4
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:22,521
Every office needs an
end-of-the-day tradition

5
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,648
Something to tell you
the day's over.

6
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,192
Otherwise, you go home
and the night just
feels like more day.

7
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,318
it's weird

8
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,611
Closing time!

9
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:30,946
W, R, K

10
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,781
One last call
for alcohol so...

11
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,034
No, it's W, R, K
as in kitten?

12
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,368
...so finish your
whiskey or beer!

13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,619
Oh, my boss is
singing Closing Time,

14
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,912
maybe that's
what you're hearing

15
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:39,997
Come on, Pam

16
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,749
Closing time!

17
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:48,714
Time for you to go home
to the places you will be from

18
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:53,135
Let's see
Andy has been manager
for 105 days,

19
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:58,307
which means I've heard
Closing Time 1 05 times

20
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:01,060
Still don't know the words

21
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,439
Home and home and home

22
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:10,819
I know who I want
to take me home!

23
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:21,121
I know who I want
to take me home

24
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,040
Take me home

25
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,629
You know what? Fine!
I try to start fun
traditions for you guys

26
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:31,298
but if you don't want
to sing, no traditions

27
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,468
Closing time!

28
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,012
Every new beginning...

29
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:41,642
I never heard that song
before and once I heard it
I did not care for it.

30
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:44,520
But that song means
it's time to go home.

31
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,439
Now, it's my favourite song

32
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:54,988
Every new beginning
comes from
some other beginning's end

33
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:56,698
Good night

34
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,607
This report is atrocious
Who's your favourite
Iron Chef?

35
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,526
You go first

36
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,406
The ticketing software
paints a picture

37
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,493
of a sloppy, careless
error-prone office.

38
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,247
Well, the monitoring software
is a double-edged sword.

39
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,623
Sometimes the

40
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:47,916
Sorry. Go ahead

41
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,751
Mmm-hmm

42
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,755
Did you need
something from us?

43
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:55,924
Yes

44
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,304
Your attention
because...

45
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,933
No. That is all

46
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,151
Last night
I dreamed that
the number two

47
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,612
was the most valued
number in the world.

48
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,281
The Vice President
had all the power,

49
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,783
athletes fought
for silver medals,

50
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,036
women were considered
the best gender.

51
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:28,248
And stadiums of fans shouted,
"We're number two!"

52
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,628
As with all my dreams,
I'm guessing

53
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,880
it was about
my fear of immigrants

54
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,382
Last week, an accounting
mistake resulted in

55
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,218
a client getting
their order for free

56
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,720
Ho! That's not good

57
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,306
Chalk that one up
to "Tweedle-Dee'
and "Tweedle-Dum" out there

58
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,642
Who are they?
They're both Kevin

59
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,727
Oscar's the
Sex and the City gang,

60
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,729
and Angela, if you can

61
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,899
Andy, sometimes
I feel like you don't
know me at all.

62
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,317
I would agree with that

63
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,819
Simply end the mistakes

64
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,404
End the mistakes. Easy

65
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:03,575
When I come back next
week, and this report
shows me "No mistakes,'

66
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,453
we can talk
about names all day

67
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,248
Our favourite names,
silly made-up names

68
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,668
normal names said
in a silly voice.
Wouldn't that be nice?

69
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,503
I would like that

70
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,213
End the mistakes

71
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,173
That's all I ask

72
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,843
And you can't have
a favorite Iron Chef

73
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,972
It depends entirely on
the secret ingredient

74
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:29,518
Sometimes I feel you
don't know food at all

75
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,774
I'm just saying,
with the NBA lockout

76
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,943
I think roller derby's
in a really good
place right now.

77
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:41,697
So, my pitch is, me, Pam
you and someone else

78
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,407
maybe Justine

79
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,993
No. Not Justine

80
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,703
Never Justine

81
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,079
Is that off again?

82
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,247
Oh, yeah.
Okay

83
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:53,375
Hey, mandatory
warehouse safety
meeting today.

84
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,253
We don't really do those
We just sign the thing.

85
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,255
Are you really this lazy?

86
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,508
I'll be there

87
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:04,386
Hey
Hey

88
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,180
Mondays suck

89
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,682
Yeah. Yep

90
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,395
Just trying to

91
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:19,735
I may have a little solution
to our mistakes problem.

92
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,030
This is a project
I've been working on
for quite some time.

93
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,157
And today might be
the day to use it.

94
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,283
What've you got?

95
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,160
Allow me

96
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,749
You're gonna love this

97
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,793
Should've used
a shorter string.

98
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,128
Never mind
I know it by heart

99
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:42,466
It is a system that
holds people accountable
for everyone else's work.

100
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:44,009
Sounds controversial

101
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,969
Have I not been
worthy of your trust?

102
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,097
Have I not been
a reliable number two?

103
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,058
Do not go there

104
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,311
You're the deuce
I never want to drop

105
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,855
Well, I can make this work

106
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,899
I'll set it up right now.
I just need your go ahead

107
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,860
Go do the voodoo
that you do so we

108
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:02,986
I will do my voodoo

109
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,237
Mmm-hmm

110
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,282
Hey. I need you to get
the paperwork rolling

111
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,117
on a new
workplace relationship

112
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,202
For you?

113
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,244
Yes, for Gabe

114
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,496
Who are you seeing?
That's great

115
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,957
Whom I am seeing is Val,
from down in the warehouse

116
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,585
I'm not technically
seeing her

117
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,712
but, I've seen
her with the eyes

118
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,091
And there was attraction
in at least one direction,
so...

119
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,638
You know, I don't have
to do paperwork unless
you're actually dating.

120
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,516
Okay. Well, once this starts
it's gonna be moving fast,

121
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,142
it's gonna be hot and heavy
and I don't want

122
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,727
a bunch of
bureaucratic red tape

123
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,270
wrapped around my jock
you know?

124
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,856
But I mean,
well, have you
talked to her?

125
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,692
Yeah. We had a whole
conversation about Mondays

126
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,278
Do you know
her last name yet?

127
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,364
Toby, I'm gonna tell you
her last name tomorrow

128
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,408
because she's gonna be
screaming it tonight.

129
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,410
She's gonna be screaming
her own last name?

130
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,370
Hey, watch it

131
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,039
Good luck, Gabe

132
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,499
Hi, guys
Hi.

133
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,753
I just wanna say that
you all have been doing
amazing work, really.

134
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,630
Thank you.
And I'd like to add

135
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,549
that your work has
been a little sloppy

136
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,343
So, Dwight and I
have implemented

137
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:11,138
a new program that
we like to call...

138
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:12,931
...Dwight?

139
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:14,224
The Accountability Booster

140
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,769
It registers every time
a mistake has been
made in the office,

141
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,689
from a late delivery
to an accounting error

142
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,192
Five strikes in a day
equals a home run

143
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,027
One home run
and you're out

144
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,865
If we as a group make
five mistakes in a day

145
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,368
something bad happens
Like, we block Minesweeper

146
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,288
Or, in this case,
an e-mail gets sent
to Robert California

147
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,123
containing the
consultant's report
from last year.

148
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,542
Remember the one
that recommended
the branch be shut down?

149
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,711
What?
And, as a failsafe, also

150
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,881
every negative e-mail
you've ever written
about him to the group

151
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,090
will also be
forwarded to him

152
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,508
What e-mails are
you talking about?

153
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,929
Robert's favorite
songs, Creep by TLC
Creep by Radiohead.

154
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,556
You remember that one, Jim?

155
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,851
"There's no way
he hasn't strangled
at least one stripper.'

156
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,102
Oscar

157
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,981
"He eats his yogurt
like he is punishing it
for disappointing him.'

158
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,149
Kelly

159
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,233
That's not that
bad, actually.

160
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,068
PS, "We should
kill him."

161
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,697
Wait. So, you installed
a doomsday device?

162
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,491
No, it's an
Accountability Booster

163
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,659
Which, when it goes off
it destroys everything

164
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,077
very similar to
a doomsday device

165
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,997
Jim, you're trying
to make me sound like
some kind of evil maniac

166
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:22,042
No, the point is,
is that we are now
working in an environment

167
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,420
where we have
accountability
to each other

168
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,298
I am confident
that you guys are
equal to the task

169
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:32,344
No, we're not.
And you are a psycho
who is ruining our lives

170
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,095
We can't do this, Dwight.
We can't

171
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,765
Smile

172
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,808
Nod. Smile and nod

173
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,186
They're making me out
to be a Bond villain.

174
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,939
I like to think of myself
as a brilliant scientist

175
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,816
who will stop at nothing
to remake the world.

176
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,485
Like

177
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,447
Not Doctor Moreau
someone good

178
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,076
Doctor Frankenstein

179
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,119
Doctor Jekyll, not them

180
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,623
Doctor

181
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,170
Are you sure
this is a good idea?

182
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,257
I mean, the thing
about this office is
we make a lot of mistakes

183
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,425
But the device
will change that

184
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,844
Without a safety net
people will improve.

185
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,643
All right, everybody,
looks like we need to
be getting to work.

186
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,521
Be extra careful,
double-check everything

187
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,690
Or the Accountability Booster
will get you.

188
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:30,068
This doomsday device
sounds like
a scare tactic to me.

189
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,737
There's an easy way to tell
if this device is a sham,

190
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,698
we just make a mistake

191
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:38,285
I'll send an order
down to shipping before
we've received payment

192
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,419
There's one mistake

193
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,504
Now we only have
four strikes left
until a home run.

194
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,673
Dwight's our co-worker
and he worked really hard

195
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,133
on this doomsday
device. So, I...

196
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,760
it's not a doomsday
device! Gosh!

197
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,513
We can do this, you guys

198
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,181
First

199
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,766
Second
it's not a race.

200
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,437
Third

201
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,314
Who knows
what the belt is for?

202
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,773
It's for
protecting my ass

203
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,525
when you suckers
lift more than
you can handle.

204
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:11,985
What's up? I'm Gabe

205
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,029
Corporate. Continue

206
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,488
Don't be nervous

207
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,032
Apparently,
we have a visitor

208
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,116
Gabe, everyone

209
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,367
Hi, Gabe

210
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,912
All right
so the support belt.
Now this one is mine

211
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,706
Doesn't get much
use nowadays.

212
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,625
Look at this.
This is enormous

213
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,214
I get the sense
that Val enjoys
a good put-down

214
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,216
Considering
that's the only thing
I know about her,

215
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,719
I will be milking that hard

216
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,221
It's like a hula-hoop
right?

217
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:44,142
Mele Kalikimaka
is Hawaii's way

218
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:47,979
You done?

219
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,732
The Michelin Man called,
he wants his cummerbund back

220
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,195
Remember, we have
to get Regal Escrow
their refund by 5:00.

221
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,613
I'm on it

222
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,907
Kevin,
maybe I should
handle that.

223
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,868
We really need you to
focus on your project.

224
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,328
Good thinking

225
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,414
Apparently
a big client for
this company

226
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,584
needs to know the story
of how paper gets made

227
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,798
Oscar, use a calculator

228
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:22,222
When the stakes are this high
there's only one computer
that I trust

229
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:25,600
And it's powered by
Thai food and Spanish reds

230
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,394
All right, everybody
you're doing great.

231
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,355
Well, I wouldn't say
that. Three mistakes
already is pretty terrible

232
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,648
But I do see
improvement

233
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,441
Meredith kept someone
on hold for 30 minutes,

234
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,568
and now look
she's hard at work

235
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,029
Dwight, question.
No questions

236
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,614
If this doomsday
device goes off

237
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,782
Accountability Booster

238
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:41,991
If this bad idea goes off

239
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,536
and we all lose our
jobs, are you gonna
feel good about that?

240
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,912
I haven't even
considered it

241
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:49,374
That's how sure I am
that this Accountability
Booster is gonna work

242
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,501
Try "Mose-1-2-3-4.'

243
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,753
Dwight would
never be that obvious
Try something like...

244
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,715
"Z-6-4-$-8.'

245
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,718
Not that exactly, Jim
something like that

246
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:00,760
Okay

247
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,388
How about
"Scranton-Strangler-6-6-6"?

248
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,807
Nope
No?

249
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,058
Aw...

250
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,643
Shoot.

251
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,354
You guys are never gonna
shut down the machine, okay?

252
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,690
But I appreciate your energy
and your teamwork

253
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,442
You apply this to
your regular work

254
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,068
you won't even notice
that the device is there

255
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,570
watching you
ready to strike

256
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,365
What's Dwight's
mother's name?

257
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,159
Hedda

258
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:27,871
No

259
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,998
Once you've read
the packet, sign the back

260
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,750
Hey, Darryl.
I was thinking

261
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,168
maybe while we
read through this

262
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:34,711
you could grab us
all some coffee?

263
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,337
My treat

264
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,465
Here's a $1 00 bill

265
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,133
That should cover it
I think.

266
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,469
Don't bring me any
of that caramel soy
latte crap, okay?

267
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,846
I want a decaf
frappuccino.

268
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,930
Val?

269
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,016
Actually, Val
why don't you come with?

270
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,018
I'll need the extra hands
to carry them back.

271
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,102
Yeah, sure

272
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,312
Mmm-hmm

273
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,647
Caramel soy latte

274
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,815
No, a decaf frap

275
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,108
Got it

276
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,614
You sent the late
notice to Rinehart
and Wolfe, right?

277
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,365
Mmm-hmm. 64620

278
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,953
Nuh-uh.
Yes

279
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,997
588 plus 1 5%

280
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,710
Oh, no!
- What does this mean?

281
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,629
What does it mean?
- Andy.

282
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:18,963
Oh

283
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,508
God

284
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,967
That's five strikes

285
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,636
Well

286
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:28,890
I was saving this
for my retirement
which I guess is today

287
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,183
Dwight, we got
five strikes.

288
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,894
Really?

289
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,145
Did the e-ma
go out or...

290
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,688
It goes out
automatically
at 5:00 p.m

291
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,774
Well, then there's
gotta be a way to stop it

292
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,401
Well, I would have
to enter my password
in order to cancel it.

293
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:41,903
Okay

294
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,364
Dwight, you may now
enter your password.

295
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:45,990
No

296
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,158
What?
What?

297
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,077
You don't deserve
to have this branch

298
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,871
Five mistakes in
less than a day?

299
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,164
We did our best

300
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,999
No, you didn't, Phyllis

301
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,501
You complained
the whole time,

302
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,878
you yelled at me
you tried to break
into the machine.

303
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,172
What?

304
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,049
You're a real crumb bum
you know that?

305
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:05,134
Hey, you can't
just change the rules

306
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,178
because you don't
like the outcome.

307
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,973
What about you, Kevin?
What about you
and your fake task?

308
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,100
Can you tell me now
where paper comes from?

309
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,603
The man tree
puts its penis

310
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,689
Okay. All right, Andy,
back me up here, please

311
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:18,773
No

312
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,024
What?
No

313
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,777
Dwight, be human for once
shut down the machine.

314
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,654
Shut it down
Shut it down.

315
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,030
Shut down the machine

316
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,365
Shut it down

317
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,619
good luck finding
a new job, idiots

318
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,289
I'll make sure to write
you a glowing reference

319
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,124
Glowingly negative

320
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,086
Dwight's car is gone

321
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:41,713
I bet he went home

322
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,591
Some of us should go
there, try to talk
some sense into him.

323
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,467
Get him to stop that e-mail

324
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,470
Pam, you should come with
me. Dwight really likes you,

325
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,556
and your breasts are
enormous, that could help us

326
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,808
Kevin has that lovability

327
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,768
Guys, come on

328
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,228
I'm right here

329
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,148
Jim, I want you
to go find Robert.
Just be where he is

330
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,609
in case that e-ma
goes out at 5:00,

331
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,986
you can try to
delete it or something

332
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,237
Okay. Where is he?

333
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,490
He's at some club
where you either eat
squash or play squash

334
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,368
I'll try both

335
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,579
Oh

336
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,831
Did you come to
reason with me?

337
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,458
Got you something

338
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,674
And I just really
want to talk to you

339
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,134
Get lost

340
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,761
Well, now hold on

341
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:30,887
What are you doing?

342
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,473
What does it
look like I'm doing?

343
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,016
Digging a grave
for a horse

344
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,395
Do you need a hand?

345
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,690
Yeah, you need a hand?

346
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,075
If you hit another horse
you've dug too far

347
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,953
I'II see you
next week, Will.

348
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,371
Robert

349
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,748
Jim, what are you

350
00:15:58,832 --> 00:15:59,874
What a surprise

351
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,835
Yeah. Well, you know
I just had a meeting,
a squash meeting

352
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,045
Yeah?

353
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,422
You up for a game?

354
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,882
A game? Or a match?

355
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,802
Exactly! Here we go

356
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,053
Let's do it

357
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,810
Are you okay, Kevin?

358
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,314
Where are you going?

359
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,857
In. I'm hungry

360
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,694
Could we come in, too?
Just for some water?

361
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,904
Okay. Take off your shoes

362
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,031
Except you, Kevin
They stay on

363
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,245
Wow, I forgot how
pretty your house is

364
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:41,457
This is the newest
addition, built by
Erasmus Schrute in 1808

365
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,627
It doubled as
a tuberculosis recovery
room until 2009.

366
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,132
That's too much doodle
and not enough lab

367
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,968
Yeah, when are
they gonna do a Labradoodle
that's just lab?

368
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,928
That's what I'm saying

369
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,434
Hey

370
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,811
You're welcome.
Thanks for the coffee

371
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,480
So, tonight I was thinking,
I'm gonna go to the cemetery

372
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,857
I'm gonna drink
a little wine

373
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,775
and I thought
maybe you'd like
to come with me

374
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,986
Are you asking me
on a date?

375
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,904
Yes, I am

376
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,448
Because I don't
date coworkers

377
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,908
it's not personal.
it's a matter of policy

378
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,368
I could quit

379
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,453
Problem solved

380
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,912
Don't quit

381
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,916
Good policy
It's sensible

382
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,168
Smart

383
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,588
All right. Serving

384
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,173
Serving, serving, serving

385
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,383
In the box.
In the box

386
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,768
Why haven't
we heard anything?

387
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,645
It's 4:45
There's only
15 minutes left

388
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,981
Oh, now you
can do math?

389
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,983
Where were you
two hours ago
beautiful mind?

390
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,735
I made a mistake
I'm sorry!

391
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,904
I know how to save
the company, everyone

392
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,407
Just write a petition,
get everyone's signature

393
00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,745
including our clients,
march down to Florida

394
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,080
and shove it up your butt

395
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,958
it's not that funny

396
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,013
Pam, you got
something on
your shirt.

397
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,599
Oh!

398
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:25,019
Well, pobody's
nerfect, right?

399
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,147
Did you just
have a stroke, Pam?
It's "nobody's perfect.'

400
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:29,941
Nice stroke, Pam

401
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,235
No, it's a jokey saying

402
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,778
"Pobody's nerfect.'

403
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,030
Like, I can't even
say those words right

404
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,825
I hadn't heard that before

405
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,952
That's funny

406
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,538
Dwight,
there's just
the small

407
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:47,041
You know what
would go so great
with this cabbage pie?

408
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,292
Milk

409
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,627
Any specific animal?

410
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,463
I'm thinking cow
Don't say cow.

411
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,134
What are you doing?
It's five to 5:00

412
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,803
Just don't talk
about the e-mail, okay?

413
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,347
He's gonna
cancel it on his own
I really think he will.

414
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,349
That's insane
Just trust me.

415
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,268
Trust you?
Like I trusted
Dwight this morning?

416
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:06,686
I got this

417
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,359
Thanks for everything

418
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,819
Sive drafely

419
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,659
Wasn't it supposed
to be drive safely?

420
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:26,956
Is that my phone?

421
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,834
Sounded like mine

422
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:32,920
No, I think it's mine
Let me just check
real quick here

423
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,255
All right

424
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,091
No, it's mine.
You took it out of my bag

425
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,051
Oh. Oops

426
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,970
Yeah
Can I have it?

427
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,138
Yes

428
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,849
Right now?

429
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:45,933
Yes
There you go

430
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,894
Whoa! No! Wait, wait

431
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,604
What the *?

432
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:50,688
Oh, man
I'm sorry!

433
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,565
Jesus!
Did it break?

434
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,859
No, it's good, thanks.
You sure?

435
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,110
Yeah

436
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:57,445
What kind of
iPhone is that?

437
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,656
It's the standard one,
the one everyone has

438
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,117
Yeah. I have
the one that
nobody has.

439
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,369
Is there anything
interesting?

440
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,788
It depends, Jim.
Do you find one-day-only

441
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,291
JetBlue sales to
Buffalo interesting?

442
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,795
No, I don't

443
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:19,967
All right

444
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:24,555
Well, I am sore and
obviously horrible at this

445
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,932
My serve

446
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,022
Dwight stopped the device

447
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:34,857
Yes

448
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,070
He stopped it

449
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:40,905
Yes

450
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,323
We still have our jobs

451
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,408
They're not
my favorite people
in the world

452
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,160
I wouldn't even
call them friends.

453
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,663
They come over here,
eat my pie,

454
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,707
dig the crappiest horse grave
you've ever seen.

455
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,544
God, I'm gonna have
to work with them
forever, aren't l?

456
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,049
Just take it easy
Nice and easy

457
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,678
Classic, right?

458
00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,356
Ooh

459
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,899
I'm all right.
You all right?

460
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,442
Yeah.
Skinned knee

461
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:19,610
Yeah

462
00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:23,781
Need a little ice
on that, maybe.

463
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,534
Yeah. That does
not feel good.

464
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,244
Okay. My serve