1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:01,365 . 2 00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,239 [dramatic music] 3 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:11,282 * 4 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,148 - I hate Black Friday. 5 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,621 [upbeat music] 6 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,524 * 7 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,126 - Here we go. 8 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:28,428 This is the Super Bowl of retail. 9 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,462 There's a buzz in the air, 10 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:34,268 a charge that probably doesn't read on camera. 11 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:38,212 Uh, but over here we have the pre-opening potluck. 12 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,539 Every employee brings a dish, 13 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,814 much in the spirit of sharing. 14 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,553 Isn't that a delightful tradition, Amy? 15 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,278 - Yeah, I love waking up at 3:00 a.m. 16 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,854 to eat Sandra's cold spinach casserole. 17 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,292 - It's meant to be served cold. - Sorry. 18 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,549 - Okay, Garrett, 19 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,356 any advice for my first Black Friday? 20 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,659 - Get that camera out my face. 21 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,830 - All right, not a morning person. 22 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,229 Cheyenne, how about you? 23 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,331 How're you feeling? 24 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,162 - I'm okay. 25 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,296 I think I hit something with my car, 26 00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,202 but I was too tired to check. 27 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,574 - Well, that's alarming. 28 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,371 - Okay, attention, everyone. 29 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,573 Black Friday is the most important day of the year. 30 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,176 And the key to getting through it 31 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,478 is to stay calm. 32 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,209 No matter what happens, 33 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:20,175 I am gonna stay Obama cool. 34 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,324 Okay, Chris, we all know how you feel about Obama. 35 00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,551 You can stay George W. Bush cool. 36 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,186 Remember how calm he was on 9/11? 37 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,263 Well, not that this is gonna be 9/11. 38 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,492 This is gonna be better than 9/11. 39 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,597 No, why do I keep saying 9/11? 40 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,469 - What's 9/11? 41 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,568 - You didn't hear? 42 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,329 - All right, everybody, focus up. 43 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,198 Today, you need to prepare for the worst. 44 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,666 If you find yourself in a jam, remember the word ACT: 45 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,375 Assess, Communicate, Take Action. 46 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,408 Assess: assess the situation. 47 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,583 Communicate: communicate. 48 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,352 Take Action: take action. 49 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,622 I don't really need to explain it. 50 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,819 Amy? - Thank you, Deen. 51 00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:00,490 All right, I want a minimum of five employees in each zone, 52 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:01,691 eight in Electronics, 53 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,592 obviously in rolling, two-person pigeon teams. 54 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,734 All RMDs need to have the right CPOs. 55 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,559 We'll assimilate any dead stock for TKTs at the end of the day. 56 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,756 Got it? all: Got it. 57 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,597 - Jonah, can you please be in charge of tracking the UPTs 58 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,933 and logging them in the T7? 59 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,497 - Yes, I certainly can. 60 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,366 - I just made that up. You're on spills and trash. 61 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,235 - Cool. - Okay, break. 62 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,243 [Yogi's "Burial"] 63 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,605 - * Hold up, this the game, it chose us * 64 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,683 * Pioneer started on my corner like the cold crush * 65 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,522 - You can do this. You can do this. 66 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,248 - * Like a gold rush 67 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,583 * The sayin', "Live fast and die young... * 68 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,288 - Black Friday? What? 69 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,650 Not afraid of you. 70 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,387 - * Perfect way that showed us * 71 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,393 * Showed me how to burn the block down * 72 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,625 * Before it slows up 73 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,259 * Before the window of opportunity close up * 74 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,767 - Please, everybody keep back and in line. 75 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,469 It's a fire hazard. 76 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,571 - Also, if anyone finds a green hair thingy, it's mine. 77 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,674 I dropped it on the way in. 78 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,536 Green hair thingy. - Super cute. 79 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,776 - Hey, any way you guys could set aside 80 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,750 one of those 60-inch flat-screens for me? 81 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,549 - Um, do you see this? 82 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,621 It's called a line. 83 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,279 So no, I can't. 84 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,587 - I'll give you 40 bucks. 85 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,288 - It wouldn't be fair. 86 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,260 - Each. 87 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,259 - Oh... 88 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,302 - Hey, Tate, how's it going? 89 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,598 - It's going fantastic. - Great. 90 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,629 - Nobody gets their prescriptions filled 91 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,434 on Black Friday, so I got all the time I want 92 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:20,697 to work on my screenplay. 93 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,444 - Oh. - It's about a pharmacist, 94 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,440 obviously, who invents a pill 95 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,712 that allows you to use all of your brain. 96 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:27,980 - Oh, like "Limitless." 97 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,038 - Not like "Limitless"! All right. 98 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,576 Why do people keep saying it's like "Limitless"? 99 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,782 It's inspired by "Limitless." 100 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,715 - Okay, uh, quick question. 101 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,290 Um, I'm trying to stay relaxed today, 102 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,420 so Jerusha gave me these pills 103 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,385 that she got after her train accident. 104 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,534 I just want to make sure I won't get hooked. 105 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,000 - Alprazolam, 106 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,728 Good, good times. 107 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,734 Yeah, it's a low dose. You should be okay. 108 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,296 - Oh, okay. 109 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,295 - Have you had anything to drink today? 110 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:57,266 - Uh, just three mugs of juice. 111 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,265 - I think you'll be fine. 112 00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,506 - Okay. 113 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,742 No, I lied. It was seven mugs. 114 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,807 I just didn't want you to judge me. 115 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,776 - That's too much juice, Glenn. 116 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:12,815 - Pretend I'm not here. 117 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,363 - Why pretend when you could really just not be here? 118 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,390 - You know, everybody here is so jaded. 119 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,297 This is exciting! This is fun. 120 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,729 This is, like, the closest our country has 121 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,703 to the running with the bulls in Pamplona. 122 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,732 - Ugh. - Okay, I'll shut up, sorry. 123 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,467 - Wow, I just got really nauseous all of a sudden. 124 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,714 - Nauseated. 125 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:32,869 I'm so sorry. That's, like, a reflex a mine. 126 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,336 I'm working on it. 127 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,605 - It's weird. I never get sick. 128 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:36,813 It's like when... 129 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,517 Finish this. 130 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,549 - Okay. 131 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:46,823 Mm-hmm... 132 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,524 mm-hmm. 133 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,456 - No, I don't know for sure. 134 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,091 I'm just saying that I might be. 135 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,425 Yes, we did, in the photo lab at work, remember? 136 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,774 Who cares who initiated it, Adam? 137 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,829 - Wow. 138 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,838 - All right, everybody, get ready. 139 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,570 Store is set to open in exactly one minute. 140 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,806 60, 59... 141 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,641 - You don't have to say all the numbers. 142 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,107 - 60, 61... 143 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,105 yeah, that's right. 144 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,106 I'm going up now. 145 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,417 - Okay, uh, one last thought 146 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,419 before we open 147 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,850 that if you apply-- 148 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,545 [indistinct screaming] 149 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,918 Whoa, whoa. 150 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,464 - Yes, you can get pregnant from that angle. 151 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,856 You can get pregnant from any angle. 152 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,128 What? 153 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,765 No, I can't-- I can't hear you. 154 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:34,841 Ow! 155 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:38,871 - If I could just get everybody describing 156 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,536 what Black Friday means to them, 157 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,614 that would be gr-- 158 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,552 Hey, that's a new camera. 159 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,448 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. 160 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,750 Apparently Black Friday has begun. 161 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,722 From all of us here at Cloud 9, 162 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:55,819 . 163 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:58,893 [tense music] 164 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:02,956 * 165 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,426 - Okay, well, we're, uh, only five minutes in, 166 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,666 and already the, uh, beer tower display 167 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,501 got knocked over onto Miles, 168 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:13,407 so he's gone, and aisle 12 is covered with blood and glass. 169 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,981 But, uh, it's all-- it's all good, boo. 170 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,479 I'm keeping it 100. 171 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,011 - That's not what that means. - No? 172 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,176 - Um, Glenn, I'm feeling a little bit sick. 173 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,554 - No, Amy, do not fall apart on me, okay? 174 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,424 You just need to stay calm. 175 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:27,123 - I need to go. - What? 176 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,163 - Attention, shoppers. 177 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,604 Cloud 9 brand tablets are half off. 178 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,600 The Halo Fog has an HD display 179 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:41,642 and boasts a battery life of about 45 minutes. 180 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,899 - Hey, I need you to work the register 181 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,096 while Tim's in the bathroom. 182 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,507 - Nah, I don't do registers. 183 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,139 - Look, I know that it's really the hip thing 184 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,884 for you millennials to not give a crap-- 185 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,209 - That's not true, and we're the same age, 186 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,654 but please, go on. 187 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:53,650 - It's all hands on deck, 188 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:54,651 so quit your Myspacing 189 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:55,722 and get on the register. 190 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,489 That's an order. 191 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,948 - All right. 192 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,546 Let me just finish this announcement. 193 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:01,718 - Fine, but the second you're done, 194 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,485 I want you on register three. 195 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,894 - The second I'm done. 196 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,726 You can also view thousands of movies 197 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,601 on the Halo Fog. 198 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,960 I will now list some of the movies 199 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,498 that are probably on there. 200 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:16,103 "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Silence of the Lambs," 201 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,506 that one where Nicolas Cage switches faces 202 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,569 and says he's gonna eat a peach for hours... 203 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:21,638 ooh, "Forrest Gump." 204 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,835 That's a good movie. 205 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,976 - Excuse me, do you have any more of these espresso makers 206 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,052 in the back? 207 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,679 - I think so, yeah. 208 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,676 - Okay, could you get me one? 209 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:33,488 - It's all the way in the back. 210 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:36,521 - Yeah, a lot of people need stuff right now. 211 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,057 How do we decide who to help first? 212 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,591 Is it you? Is it them? 213 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,527 You, them? 214 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,602 You? 215 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,004 Ew, no. 216 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,065 I want a bribe. 217 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,214 - Oh, God. 218 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,069 Hey, Tate. - What? 219 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,977 - Um, do you have any extra pregnancy tests back here? 220 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,580 - Of course. Why do you need them? 221 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,477 Oh. [laughing] 222 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,045 Mm-mm-mm! 223 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,116 Someone's a dirty bird. 224 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,215 Didn't think you had it in you. 225 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,287 - Oh, no, I mean, I wouldn't call myself a filmmaker, 226 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,285 like, capital F. 227 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,356 - Oh, is this for you? 228 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,104 - We'll see how it all cuts together in the end. 229 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,129 - Extra dirty for a naughty little girl. 230 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,065 - Okay, you pervert, just give me the pregnancy test! 231 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,096 No, this wasn't-- - Oh, I-I was just-- 232 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,037 - I had to keep-- - I didn't-- 233 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,612 Sucks we lost the Rams, huh? 234 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,110 - Oh, I'm looking for a little girl. 235 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,717 She has a big bow in her hair. 236 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,319 She's carrying a Baby Fashion Girl. 237 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,250 - Okay, relax, we're gonna find her. 238 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,056 The important thing to do, though, is stay calm. 239 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,159 And see? There she is, doing fine. 240 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,592 It's all good. 241 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:47,657 - Thank God. 242 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,325 Trevor, we got a Baby Fashion Girl! 243 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,632 - [crying] 244 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,143 - And then Jenny dies 245 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,312 of what is implied to be AIDS. 246 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,241 But we don't know. 247 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,845 And he puts Haley Joel Osment on a bus, 248 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:05,678 and guess what? 249 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,823 Same bus driver from the beginning. 250 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,148 - What are you still doing here? 251 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,582 You're supposed to be on the register. 252 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,818 - You said I could finish the announcement. 253 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,122 - Yeah, that was ten minutes ago. 254 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,293 - It's a very long announcement. 255 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,322 Next up, "Apollo 13." 256 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,757 - I see what you're doing here. 257 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,162 - In this film, Tom Hanks is a spaceman 258 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,704 whose life is saved by a bunch of nerds. 259 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,741 - Were you just waiting for me? 260 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,340 - N-no, I didn't even know you were... 261 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,841 I was just checking out the fliers here. 262 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,083 Sal's looking for a roommate, so that's, uh... 263 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,208 - [sighs] It's negative. 264 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,253 I am not pregnant. 265 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,308 - Oh, I'm so sorry-- 266 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,178 or happy for you. 267 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,685 I don't--whatever applies to your--you. 268 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,119 - Well, it's complicated, 269 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,324 'cause, you know, at first I was really panicked, 270 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,156 and, I don't know, I started having other feelings... 271 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,291 - Oh, God, - And I'm just trying to-- 272 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,656 Okay, dick, sorry I'm boring you. 273 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,196 - No, no, it's not-- 274 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,830 I--I just suddenly... 275 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,311 - Out of my way, Rodriguez. 276 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,368 - Oh. 277 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,682 - Okay, everyone, here's the sitch: 278 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,047 it appears that everyone in the store 279 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,416 got very ill from food poisoning, 280 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,264 probably from our potluck. 281 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,330 Oh well, sacré bleu. 282 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,358 You know, stuff happens. 283 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,204 As you can see, though, I am, uh-- 284 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,959 I am staying very calm. 285 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,068 I took a pill. 286 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,699 I don't think it did anything, though. 287 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,998 Oh, I like this store. 288 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,267 - I just wanna go home. 289 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,235 - I can't do this. 290 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,312 I'm one of those people who hates being sick. 291 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,711 - Hot take, Mateo. 292 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,753 All right, we've lost half our staff. 293 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,148 We are what's left. 294 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,219 Sandra, you're off of go-backs. 295 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,948 I need you to cross-check Housewares. 296 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:50,953 Heather and Brett, 297 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,094 you guys are on opposite puking cycles, right? 298 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,690 So you can switch off. 299 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,362 And, um, Myrtle, I'm gonna need you to start folding, 300 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,760 like, 1,000 times faster. 301 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:03,003 - You got it. Full steam ahead! 302 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,980 - And then there's the one where Tom Hanks 303 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,809 is in the airport the whole time. 304 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,005 Honestly, I checked out on that one. 305 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,317 Anybody see "Sully"? 306 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,749 I didn't. 307 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,194 Ugh, I don't feel so hot. 308 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,388 I got to take a break, y'all. 309 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,161 Oh. 310 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,389 - If you're done with the announcement, 311 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,733 register three could use a hand. 312 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,259 See? I don't give up. 313 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,804 - Neither do I. 314 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,066 Don't forget about "Polar Express." 315 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,401 Merry Christmas, kids. 316 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,765 It's a nightmare. 317 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,178 - Excuse me. 318 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,249 [walkie-talkie buzzes] - Amy, uh, I need your key 319 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,488 to the razor case. 320 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,122 - Yeah, okay, just give me a sec. 321 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,327 I'm in... Bedding. 322 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,029 - Roger. 323 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,402 - Amy? 324 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,770 - Jonah? 325 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,430 - Hey. 326 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,837 - Yeah, the line in the ladies' room was really long, so-- 327 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:18,671 - Got it. No, no, no. 328 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:22,435 Please, uh, make your...self at home. 329 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,250 - Thanks. 330 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:28,418 - Hey, uh, you know why they call it Black Friday? 331 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,448 - We really don't have to make conversation. 332 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,553 - Okay, okay, cool. 333 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,794 - We can just... - Yep. 334 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,120 - Be quiet. - Okay. 335 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,115 That's fine. 336 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,156 Total silence. 337 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,492 [indistinct yelling] 338 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,198 - And then the volleyball floats away. 339 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,171 And weirdly, you're sad about it. 340 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,469 At least I was. 341 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,200 - Oh. [sighs] 342 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,466 I feel like my insides are crawling through my skin. 343 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,844 Can I have a sip of that? 344 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,443 - Sure. 345 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,844 20 bucks. 346 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,136 - For a sip of Pepto? 347 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,577 I'll just go buy my own. 348 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,481 - You know, I think someone already bought them all. 349 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,875 - Hm. Well, well, well. 350 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,487 Who's all grown up? 351 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,118 - It's called war profiteering. 352 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,294 I learned about it in Social Studies. 353 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,471 - I'm relieved, by the way, about not being pregnant. 354 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,341 - Oh. - You were asking earlier, so-- 355 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,441 - Oh, oh, uh, good. 356 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,343 Yeah, no, I-- I don't blame you. 357 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,375 That's--one child is-- is enough. 358 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,381 - I've always thought I wanted, like, two or three. 359 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,448 - Oh. 360 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,353 - Yeah, I mean, I think maybe I still do, 361 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,486 just not with... 362 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,392 with, you know, everything 363 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,894 that's going on in the world, and... 364 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,631 - Yeah, it's, uh-- 365 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,262 it's complicated times. 366 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,898 - So complicated. 367 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,197 - I-I don't mean to rush you, 368 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:59,406 but you see yourself being done anytime soon? 369 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,209 - No, I'm waiting for you to be done. 370 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,341 - Well, that's unfortunate, 371 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,235 because I was waiting for you, so... 372 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,377 - [sighs] God. 373 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,182 - "Da Vinci Code," too long. 374 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,984 "Bridge of Spies," too boring. 375 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,447 I can't do this anymore. 376 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,585 E-readers are half price. 377 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,490 Garrett out. 378 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,562 [indistinct yelling] 379 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,956 [overlapping speech] - Stop it! 380 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:27,403 - This is the dark night of our souls-- 381 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,274 a portrait of hopelessness. 382 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,342 A... 383 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:32,368 [metal clangs] 384 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,965 Wow, we've lost Brett. 385 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,907 - Okay, guys, I know we're bare bones, 386 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,383 but we can still make this work. 387 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,680 If Sandra could triple-cover Camping, Menswear, 388 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,623 and Softlines--Sandra, you can do that, right? 389 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,279 - I guess if my knees were normal, 390 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,017 but three different doctors said-- 391 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,593 - Oh, so we're all back here, huh? 392 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,021 - We're just taking a little break. 393 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,417 We'll get out there in a sec. 394 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,328 - It's fine. - Are you not feeling sick? 395 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,631 - Oh, no, I feel terrible. 396 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,602 Worst I've ever felt. 397 00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,330 Hey, if we're all back here, 398 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,966 who's watching the floor? 399 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,542 - Whoa. Hold on, man. 400 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,010 Hold on, man. Wait. You got to stand in line. 401 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,209 [bell dinging] 402 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,641 [crashing] 403 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,708 - Form an orderly line. 404 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,675 Hey, one TV per family. 405 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,284 Listen, lady, I'm putting your face in my memory palace. 406 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,717 Eyes too far apart, stringy hair. 407 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,392 Ethnic nose. 408 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,561 This isn't over! 409 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,760 Oh, it's over. 410 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:28,431 - Oh, and then we just need Herman to cover everything. 411 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,961 - Herman hasn't worked here in six months. 412 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,027 - Fine, then, you know what? 413 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,504 I don't know how to make this work. 414 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,732 - If it makes you feel any better, 415 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,536 this is probably all your fault. 416 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,738 That stuffing you made tasted like burnt hair. 417 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,470 - My stuffing is not what made us sick. 418 00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:44,007 If anything, it was probably Dina's weird tofu turkey thing. 419 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,284 - You know what's weird? 420 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,582 Eating the flesh off of a bird's bones, 421 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,613 you savage. 422 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,617 - Why are you so weird? 423 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,678 - Why is everyone being so mean to each other? 424 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,747 - Guys... 425 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,994 [overlapping speech] 426 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,391 - Okay, Amy, now is not-- - Guys! 427 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,393 This is what Black Friday wants! 428 00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,055 - That is a family recipe 429 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,593 with a secret ingredient. 430 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,728 - But this is not what Black Friday is gonna get! 431 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,774 - Oh, cinnamon? Boring. 432 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,539 - And we are gonna overcome this, 433 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,298 because there is abso... - Jonah? 434 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,707 Could you please shut the [bleep] up? 435 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,709 And that goes for all of you [bleep]. 436 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,611 I can't listen to your [bleep] 437 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:21,483 for one more [bleep]damn [bleep] second. 438 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,548 Did something just happen? 439 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:30,887 . 440 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,058 - [retching] 441 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,162 - I have a terrible headache, Mateo. 442 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,764 Can you please barf quieter? 443 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,655 - Ugh, could you be a bitch quieter? 444 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:41,097 - Okay, I called Corporate to ask for help, 445 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,244 and turns out they're closed today 446 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,700 'cause it's a holiday. 447 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,767 - So what do we do? 448 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,036 - I say we bail. 449 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,275 - Okay. 450 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,239 - Wait, what? Really? 451 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,747 - Yeah, even if everyone in here felt great, 452 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,179 we still don't have enough people to cover the floor. 453 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:59,145 - So we just abandon the store? 454 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,386 - Black Friday broke us. 455 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,690 - All right, I'm calling it. 456 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,132 Time of death, 11:13 p.m. 457 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,658 Just let it all burn. 458 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,793 - [sighs] 459 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,657 - Wait, we're just gonna leave? 460 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,356 - It was your idea to bail. 461 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,298 - Yeah, I suggest that every Friday. 462 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,303 Even you, Dina? You said you'd never give up. 463 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,695 - I also said I'd never vomit on a toddler's head. 464 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,337 Lot of firsts today. 465 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,754 - Hold up. Wait. 466 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,750 Yo, I don't like working here. 467 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,123 - Okay. 468 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,192 - But it's my job. 469 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,661 I do the bare minimum, 470 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,218 but I don't do less than that. 471 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:40,257 And I'm not about to let a bunch of deal-hungry rubes 472 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,233 trash our store and make me feel bad for Dina, 473 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,403 which I did not think was possible. 474 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,702 So I'ma get out there, and I'ma finish my shift. 475 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,244 And yeah, I'ma cut corners, 476 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,740 and I'ma phone it in, 477 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,671 but it'll never be said that Garrett McNeill 478 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,137 did not do just enough 479 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,736 to not get fired. 480 00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,747 [Jungle's "Busy Earnin'"] 481 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:07,790 * 482 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,296 Move it! 483 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,198 * 484 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:21,301 [retching] 485 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,244 - * So you come a long way 486 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,310 - Open. 487 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,808 - * Ooh-ooh, but you'll never have me * 488 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,781 * Never have things 489 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,350 * For a normal life 490 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:37,680 * It's time to busy earnin' 491 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,287 * You can't get enough 492 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,149 - Aisle seven. 30 days. Home and Garden. 493 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,258 Dairy factory-farmed. 494 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,319 We don't sell wigs anymore. 495 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,416 That's not your color. 496 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,727 * 497 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,930 - * You can't get enough 498 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,202 - Heather, reconfigure the LPOs, 499 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,332 and then move 'em to the PRC. 500 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,796 * 501 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,774 - Boom. - * This busy earnin' 502 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,513 - Henry, get all the UPTs 503 00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,908 out of the green zone. 504 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,269 If you run into a jam, 505 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:04,878 radio a 62V for a DPR, got it? 506 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,211 All right, break! 507 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,517 - Wow. - Yeah. 508 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,518 - That was impressive. 509 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,919 - Didn't know I had it in me. 510 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,320 - I mean, none of it meant anything, 511 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,952 but the confidence is inspiring. 512 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,217 * 513 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,227 - Have a heavenly day. 514 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,229 Next! 515 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,930 - Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. 516 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,802 Not, like, "Bring your items to the front" closed. 517 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,371 I mean, like, "Get the hell out." 518 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,439 Thank you. 519 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,698 Oh, also, if anyone happens to find a little green hair thing, 520 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,268 it's mine. 521 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:37,376 - Thank you so much for shopping at Cloud 9. 522 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:41,310 - Oh, sir, you accidentally drove over my daughter's doll! 523 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,818 - Not accidentally. 524 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,294 - * You can't get enough 525 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,924 [quiet pop music] 526 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,757 * 527 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,833 - I hate Black Friday. 528 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,562 - I can't move. 529 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,997 - Me neither. 530 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,831 - Hey, Myrtle. 531 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,027 Myrtle! 532 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,438 Could somebody poke Myrtle and see if she's still alive? 533 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,842 - Does it really matter? 534 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,343 - I guess not. - [whistling] 535 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:12,506 Oof. TGIF, right, guys? 536 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,817 - Hey, where's Amy? 537 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,549 - Hi, it's me. 538 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:19,785 Sorry I haven't called all day. 539 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,489 It's been a frickin' zoo here. 540 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:25,361 Um, I took the test, and don't worry. 541 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,462 I'm not happy. 542 00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,363 I mean... pregnant. 543 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,255 I'm not pregnant. 544 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,003 Or... maybe I'm not happy. 545 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,306 I--I don't know. 546 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,508 Um... 547 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,940 Adam, we should talk. 548 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,319 - Look who works register after all. 549 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,352 - Dina, I can't. 550 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,346 Whatever issue you have with me 551 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,357 can wait till tomorrow, so... 552 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,919 - * If you're lost, you can look * 553 00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,557 * And you will find it 554 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,403 * Time after time 555 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,470 * If you fall, I will catch you * 556 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,328 * I will be waiting 557 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,397 - Kind of wish I hadn't spent the whole day puking. 558 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,836 - Yeah, me too. 559 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,070 Find every breath mint left in the store, 560 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,044 and meet me in the photo lab. 561 00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:16,643 Ten minutes, or I start without you. 562 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,906 - A lot of firsts today.