1 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,359 Are you happy that you managed to get here? Jompa? 2 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,919 Not really. 3 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:55,599 I only came because you promised me a blowjob. 4 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,959 Yes, but first we have to cross this gorge. 5 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:27,199 I hope you tied a good knot. I imitated the one in the book. 6 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,719 Jompa! 7 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,039 What the fuck, woman! 8 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,679 This will be worth at least two blowjobs. 9 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,319 Quick! 10 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,919 Jompa! 11 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,399 No, no, no... 12 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,639 Jompa! 13 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,039 That was close. 14 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,719 Don't let go, Jompa! Please! 15 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,479 Jompaaaa...! 16 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,119 Crap! 17 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,079 Unni is gone. 18 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,239 The love of my life. 19 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,559 One of my best fucks. 20 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,279 I was devastated. 21 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,359 But looking on the bright side... 22 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,199 I was able to drink again. 23 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,599 I had no reason to live. 24 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,839 Unni was the only woman I trusted. 25 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,839 Who understood me and my feelings. 26 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,439 I guess I should have tied it to myself first. 27 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,639 There is no turning back. 28 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:49,679 It's impossible to turn things around. 29 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,279 Unni, 30 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,679 Here I come. 31 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,479 ecstasy? 32 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,679 I decided to return to my roots. 33 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,399 In the mountains. Here I could gather my thoughts. 34 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,119 Here I could heal my wounds. 35 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,479 And find myself again. 36 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,559 Find my inner peace. 37 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,319 Here, with my reindeer, I could go back to being... 38 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,959 Jompa. 39 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,399 Anne Berit? 40 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,279 Damn eagles! 41 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,119 The government will pay for this! 42 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,519 Shit... Rain Man! 43 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,799 Rudolph! 44 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,359 Vidkun! 45 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,479 Gørild! 46 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,479 My reindeer were killed. A real abuse. 47 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:59,479 Fortunately I know someone who is an expert on abuse. 48 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,319 Excuse me! Get out of the way! 49 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,839 Father Lorota! 50 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,319 Calm! My reindeer were murdered! 51 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,799 Allow me to finish here first. 52 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,239 God said: He, who runs to his flock, 53 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,239 you won't find a single sheep. 54 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,359 Jesus! This is important! 55 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,199 How dare you say the name of the Lord in vain? 56 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,959 Are you of the devil? No. 57 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,399 You are of the devil. 58 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,799 You are from the devil! 59 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,759 You are the devil's! 60 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,639 You are! You are! 61 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,359 You are! No, you are! 62 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,639 You are! 63 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,479 You are from the devil! You are. 64 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,639 You are from the devil! 65 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,399 You are from the devil! You are from the devil! 66 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,119 Say "h" if it's the son of the devil. Huh? 67 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,839 It saw? You are the son of the devil! 68 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:09,519 You son of Satan! Damn, you are an evil person. 69 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,799 Lena Horn? 70 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,319 We can't let her board with this ticket. It's impossible. 71 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,519 Can't I try another way? No. 72 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,879 Did someone come by with a bunch of horns? 73 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,919 Didn't you see the line? 74 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,879 Tell me what I want to know or I will put a curse on you. 75 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,839 which will make your balls the size of a melon, 76 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,519 and that will make you cum like a horse for years. 77 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,399 Take a good look... 78 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,639 I saw three... 79 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,399 hot women. 80 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,679 They had full lips. 81 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,559 And what breasts! 82 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,439 I helped them carry 80 kilos of horns for a private jet. 83 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,719 Where were they going? 84 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,359 To Thailand! 85 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,919 Thailand? 86 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,919 Thailand. 87 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,319 Roger, what the fuck? 88 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:43,479 How will I know? The fucking sound system it stopped again. 89 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,359 Weren't they going somewhere closer? 90 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,439 To Thailand. 91 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,599 Excuse me... 92 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:28,479 Coffee, tea? 93 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,719 Coffee... 94 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,279 Tea? 95 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,599 Coffee, tea? 96 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,199 Coffee, coffee? 97 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,719 Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea... 98 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,999 Is it Jompa? 99 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,999 No chance. They don't allow laps on planes. 100 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:53,199 So, Cato... Thailand! Busy little place. 101 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,999 And I'm winning at it. 102 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,519 I have to thank the Lapps for that. 103 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,119 And your damn grazing rights. 104 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,919 As head of Reindeer Administration 105 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:12,239 I revolutionized the GPS system tagging every reindeer in Norway. 106 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,319 So I was invited to this conference in Thailand 107 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,359 to talk about it. 108 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,559 And lucky for you, I got two tickets. 109 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,439 Or you would be trapped in your cage throughout the summer. 110 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,959 We are in the heaven of the iron crow! 111 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,959 Whatever... 112 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,559 First class. 113 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,919 Excuse me. Yes? 114 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,159 After I've been down this so-called food... 115 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,839 Want to join me in the bathroom? I would love to eat you for dessert. 116 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,519 Pork! 117 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,799 No, I think it's dog sausage. 118 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,239 And that's why you will die alone. 119 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,879 And when you die everything will be dark. 120 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,439 There is no God, no paradise. 121 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,839 So believe in yourselves. 122 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,719 Don't sell your soul for money. 123 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:26,799 But take risks. Those who don't risk don't get anything. 124 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,799 Chances are tough in life and in love. 125 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,319 For better odds, try Euro Slots! 126 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,279 Your online gaming portal. 127 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,959 EuroSlots! 128 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,919 EuroSlots, for a more exciting life! 129 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,919 What are you talking about, woman? Don't you have integrity? 130 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,279 Don't you want to show me the cabin? 131 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,039 In Thailand, a single rule will come into force. 132 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,919 If you see me talking to a woman, 133 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,319 just stay the hell away, okay? 134 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,679 But Cato... 135 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:18,639 Pay attention. Maybe you'll learn something. And if you're very lucky, 136 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,439 your chick might get something... 137 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,359 I want to swim in the ocean. 138 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:30,319 No chance. Sharks eat idiots like you! 139 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,279 Don't go in! It's so big! 140 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,799 Shut up. I'll make it. 141 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,239 And beware of a dirty mind! 142 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,719 Sid, I want more candy. 143 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:15,439 This is Captain Olsen. We're going to go through some turbulence. 144 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:20,199 Keep your seatbelts fastened and everything will be fine. 145 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,079 I have to piss. 146 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,599 I have to go to the bathroom. 147 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,319 I have to pee. 148 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:32,159 It is like this, children, that if make turbulence. 149 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,999 What are you going to do in Thailand? 150 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,119 I'm looking for revenge. 151 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,919 You said you loved me. 152 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,679 Yes, I said I loved you. 153 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:50,399 But that was before I ate you. Now there's no point in it for you. 154 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,079 Take off those pee-filled fingers of yours. See you soon, baby. 155 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,839 What the fuck? 156 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,039 What happened? Why are you so sweaty? 157 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,439 Calm! It's just turbulence. 158 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,999 Thailand, Cato. Thailand. 159 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:23,799 The only place in the world with more chlamydia than Finamarca (County of Norway). 160 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,399 Come on, Cato! 161 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,519 Fly straight home now, and no nonsense jokes! 162 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,079 Look, Cato! Not bad. 163 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,479 Not bad really. We can relax here. 164 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,119 Let's see... 165 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,759 Time to unpack. 166 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,439 There is only one bed, then you will sleep in the bathtub. 167 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,639 Just add cold water if it gets hard. 168 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:39,399 I like hot showers in the morning. It's your type. 169 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,959 I know. 170 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,199 Let's see... 171 00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:01,959 Wash my underwear. I get sweaty when it's more than 10 degrees outside. 172 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:30,159 Relax. It's probably the reception with some Welcome pussy to me. 173 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,879 Cato, did you ask for anything? No. 174 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,039 Look, Cato! Smell this. 175 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,559 Do you know what this is? Smell. 176 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,359 Cheap Pussy, Cato. Cheap pussy. 177 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,879 It's an invitation to a nightclub. 178 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,839 You'll have to stay here. 179 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:56,959 I already told you to use your toothbrush teeth to clean my underwear! 180 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,759 You have to use your toothbrush. 181 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,399 It saw? All the dirt comes out. Even the one in the corner. 182 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,999 Thailand. 183 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,319 A country full of Chinese. 184 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:17,839 It doesn't matter where I go, I am greeted by slanted eyes. 185 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,879 Where do I start? I'm alone in a far away land. 186 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:28,719 I hadn't been that far from home since I fell asleep in a taxi in '87. 187 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,639 I needed good leadership. Something that... 188 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,719 Damn immigrants. 189 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,479 No, thanks! 190 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,159 Where are we? I remembered! 191 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,719 I need something to point me in the right direction to follow. 192 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,399 Reindeer antlers? In Thailand? 193 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,759 The correct direction! 194 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,559 Does he know something? 195 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,519 Time for a polite and polite dialogue. 196 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,159 Where - did - you - get - this - reindeer - antler - foot? 197 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,479 Could you - inform me - by - 198 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,239 - kindness? 199 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,759 Aunt Hashish. Aunt Ass-shit? 200 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,039 Aunt Hash. Aunt Hash? 201 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,919 Aunt Hash. 202 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,959 "Down by the sea"? 203 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,479 Don Johnson? 204 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,959 Don Johnson. 205 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,119 Thanks for your help. 206 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,159 Have a good day. 207 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,839 Girls... 208 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,399 We know what we have to do. 209 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,119 Jompa has to... 210 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,559 die! 211 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,439 The ocean, Sid! 212 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,999 The ocean... 213 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,999 Have you learned now? 214 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,999 You don't go there. 215 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:03,999 Hey baby! 216 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,759 Do you want to give me a massage? 217 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,479 My cock is very pale. 218 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,519 Fucking provocation! 219 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,119 Hmm, you're satisfied! 220 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,999 Help, what's going on? 221 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,959 It feels like something is moving in my stomach. 222 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:37,679 But they say it's safe to eat shrimp anywhere in the world. 223 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,879 Hello, my name is lactose! 224 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,279 I'm a cockroach. 225 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,119 Aunt Hash. What is she? 226 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:58,679 And how can she help me? And whose aunt is she? 227 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,959 Anyway, I have to find her, and find it quickly. 228 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:07,559 Revenge is best served hot, decorated with parsley, 229 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,199 and raspberry for dessert. 230 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,399 Hello! 231 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,359 Anyway. Aunt Hash... 232 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,799 It could take weeks. Months. 233 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,839 AUNT HASH 234 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,759 That was luck. 235 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,279 Welcome, stranger. 236 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,399 How can I help you? 237 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:09,279 I know you are the right person for anyone looking for information. 238 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,599 And syphilis. 239 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,559 Are you flirting with me? 240 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,279 Everything has its price. 241 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,159 So what do you want to know? 242 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,079 My name is Jompa and I'm crazy as hell. 243 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,519 My reindeer were slaughtered two days ago. 244 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,959 The killers left the flesh, 245 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,959 but they took the horns and came to Thailand. 246 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,759 And now I'm looking for revenge. 247 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:56,159 Do you have Parkinson's? No, I'm fine. 248 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,159 Thanks. You are welcome. 249 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,359 Yes. 150 dollars. 250 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,479 Thanks. Goodbye. See you next week. 251 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,319 I can help you, Jompa. 252 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,319 Many people have difficulty getting excited. 253 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,719 Excited? Excited. 254 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,599 What do you mean excited? Get a hard-on! 255 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,239 You don't need to be rude. 256 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,999 Get a hard-on, Jompa! 257 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:31,399 This has never been a problem for me. I'm having an erection right now. 258 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,119 Esotu always having an erection. 259 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:40,919 Here in the Far East, aphrodisiacs made of ivory are very popular. 260 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,359 But there aren't many rhinos or elephants left around here. 261 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:49,479 So they had to look for alternatives. Like reindeer. 262 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:54,919 Some say that reindeer antler powder It is the most powerful aphrodisiac of all! 263 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,559 Jompa... 264 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,999 They use reindeer antlers 265 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,959 like an aphrodisiac! 266 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,279 Sweet Satan! 267 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:12,559 The aphrodisiac mafia around here It is controlled by an individual. 268 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,839 And he is... the Frog! 269 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:17,799 The frog. 270 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,879 Thanks. You can keep the rest. 271 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,439 Don't like rap? 272 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,319 Not much. 273 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,079 Shit! 274 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:41,079 Welcome. Turn around. Start as soon as you are ready. 275 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,799 Do you want to be beaten by the whole block? 276 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:44,719 Breasts... 277 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,239 Send it to the happy pasture. 278 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,119 Don't shoot! 279 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,399 Be a comrade and don't shoot! 280 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,959 So, that's it. 281 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,279 The black embrace of death. The big sleep. 282 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:18,399 Or am I just talking nonsense with your eyes closed? 283 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,999 Yes, apparently yes. 284 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:36,839 Let's go! 285 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,719 They shoot as badly as they drive. 286 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,199 Amazing. 287 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,799 Did you remember to wash your dick head... 288 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,399 Excuse me. 289 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,239 White man passing by. 290 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,159 Something to drink, please. 291 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,119 A cold beer. Not that shitty pee. 292 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,479 Dark beer! 293 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,359 Ching-chong beer! 294 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,399 Beer! 295 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,159 Don't expect a tip. 296 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,439 Man, we're having fun. 297 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,839 You're so cool, Cato. 298 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,959 Someone is coming! 299 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,839 Nice to meet someone else from Norway. Are you on vacation? 300 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:41,119 Part vacation, part work. And I expect tons of sex. 301 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,719 What do you do for a living? 302 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,999 This is confidential information. I'm a police officer, reindeer division. 303 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,159 We put GPS on all the reindeer in Norway. 304 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:56,039 Why is Thailand interested in its GPS system? 305 00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:00,239 I don't know, maybe she wants to put a GPS on all the transvestites. 306 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,199 Going clubbing here is like playing Russian roulette. 307 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:10,079 Something top secret in your room? It's all here. 308 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:15,199 But I didn't see you arrive with anyone. 309 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:20,679 Women don't normally go on vacation alone. You're one of those... 310 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,759 I don't understand. Take a good look... 311 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,639 I still don't understand. 312 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,599 Are you on the team of those who enjoy licking pussy? 313 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,479 I think this is a personal question, but: 314 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,239 Are you single? 315 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,519 Guilty. 316 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,239 But... 317 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,839 It wasn't always like this. 318 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,479 There was a girl once. 319 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:59,839 A very beautiful girl. With a great pair of breasts. 320 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,919 Sid, are you glad you came? Look, how many berries! 321 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,039 I hope you make me a drink with that in there in bed tomorrow. 322 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,839 And I hope sausicha. Yes, we were happy. 323 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,519 You naughty girl! We laughed a lot! 324 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:19,399 Especially Cato, that idiot. But one day everything changed. 325 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,799 Wait here, I'm going to get something from the car. 326 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,919 On that fateful day. 327 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,319 Sid? 328 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,919 Calm down, please! 329 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,199 Sid! Sid! 330 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,359 Peggy, no! 331 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,079 Peggy! 332 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,679 Peggy... 333 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,039 Peggy! Peggy! 334 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,399 Are you alive? Are you alive? Peggy... 335 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,599 Peggy... 336 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,519 Yuck! 337 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,639 She looked like jelly. 338 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,319 Don't follow the white light, Peggy! 339 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,759 Peggy, she... 340 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,239 She sacrificed herself for me. 341 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:36,839 She was paralyzed from the waist down. 342 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,839 So I dumped her. 343 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:46,759 No chance of dating a vegetable! So yes, I am single. 344 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:53,599 But let's talk about something happier. Do you like double penetration? 345 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,679 Anniken, you bewitched me! 346 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,759 Father? What the hell are you doing here? 347 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,239 I live here. Did you receive all my postcards? 348 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,759 No. Really. I never wrote any. 349 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:34,119 But how did you find me? How did you know I was here? 350 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,079 It doesn't matter, Sid. 351 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:41,199 Things didn't go well for me in Norway. 352 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:45,999 So I asked myself: Waldemar, what are your strengths? 353 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,479 I know two things: 354 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,599 Liquor and prostitutes. 355 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:57,319 And where can I get plenty of both? In Thailand! 356 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,879 Listen, friend. 357 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,119 You and I had a rough start. 358 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,519 Yes. I know I was a bad father. 359 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,719 And you know you were never an exemplary son. 360 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,399 But you are my son. 361 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,919 You are my son. 362 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:24,919 It's not easy to like you, but I'm willing to try. 363 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:29,439 I want you two to visit me tomorrow at La Pomme d'Amour. 364 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,679 What do you say, Sid? 365 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,679 What do you say? 366 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,359 Because we don't... 367 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:40,119 Why don't we start over? How about giving me another chance? 368 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,399 Okay, dad. OK! 369 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,799 We are men, Sid. 370 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,959 We're not damn gypsy bitches. 371 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,399 Me and Lactose are going to bed. 372 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:03,319 Good night, Lactose! Good evening, old fellow. 373 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,439 Cato, that water is cold! 374 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,759 I'm going to increase the temperature. 375 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,639 Thanks, Sid. 376 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,319 The water is turning yellow! Damn, it burns! 377 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:51,999 Jompa is dead. 378 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,599 The Frog said: 379 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,679 Good! 380 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,439 Mo! 381 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,399 The frog said: Go back to the city... 382 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,199 and await future orders. 383 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:08,959 After my defeat in the alley something It became clear: I had to build a suit. 384 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,559 A suit that would leave me invulnerable. 385 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:31,519 An extremely sophistic suit... sophistic... 386 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,319 So-fis-ti-ca-do. 387 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,759 The best on the planet. 388 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,959 Something that allows me to fly, 389 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,959 that is bullet and rocket proof. 390 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,679 I will become a one-man army. 391 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,199 Same as Suasnega in Command to Kill. 392 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,679 I will become... 393 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,079 Iron Man! 394 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,439 Right on my BCG! 395 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,199 So I've been here for a while. 396 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,719 I like it here. Sunny and warm. 397 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,359 And cheap beer. 398 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,239 Thanks. Look! 399 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,439 "I'm wearing Thai." 400 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:14,599 There's so much more to our family now than you, mother, and our dog Fifi. 401 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,439 I'm known for never miss the aim. 402 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,119 Is this how ghosts are made? 403 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,959 So get to know your brothers. 404 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,559 This is Fridtjof and Roald. 405 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:35,919 This is Tor. And this is DeSoto. Kristoffer. 406 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,599 And Vasco. DeSoto is an excellent pickpocket. 407 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,839 Here are the mothers. 408 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,359 Fridtjof's mother. 409 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,839 Roald's mother. Mother of Tor. Mother of DeSoto. 410 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,119 Kristoffer's mother. 411 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,959 And not least, 412 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,199 Vasco's mother. 413 00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,039 Thais out! 414 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:03,759 Okay, Sid. 415 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:09,399 Are you in Thailand for some kind of conference? 416 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,399 Exactly. 417 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,799 Your son, at least one of them, 418 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:21,439 Will hold a sexy talk on the use of GPS in reindeer. 419 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:25,199 Hello friend. Is that ice cream? 420 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:29,319 So... I will speak and give a demonstration. 421 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,719 Strawberries, yum! My favorite. 422 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,439 Sounds like confidential information. 423 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:39,599 Precisely. So everything is stored... here. 424 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,239 Okay. 425 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,719 So what do you think, guys? 426 00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:53,719 You will have the opportunity to try something unique here. 427 00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:55,759 My head is freezing! 428 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,759 I know a place. 429 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,279 Far from here. There, deep in the jungle. 430 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:07,079 Where we will be treated like kings. 431 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,839 Palace of the Frog King. 432 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,919 It's full of beer, liquor and hot women. 433 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,399 It's us! Right, Cato? 434 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,119 My face is frozen. 435 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,799 He is very excited. 436 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,199 We go! We have to pack our bags. 437 00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:27,239 We need condoms, Cato! You are the greatest, dad! 438 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,159 No, no! Shit! 439 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,119 Hello, anyone! 440 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,239 What do you know? Anniken, what a coincidence! 441 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:43,719 You almost thought you were following me. 442 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,679 I was following. 443 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,919 What a sick game, Anniken! 444 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:26,039 Anniken, meet my father. Waldemar, Anniken. 445 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:31,879 Anniken. Nice to meet you. Waldemar. Nice to meet you. 446 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:36,919 I happened to hear in passing 447 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,679 That you are going on a trip. 448 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,999 Could I accompany you? 449 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,799 No. 450 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,159 Dad, Anniken wants to cheer you up. 451 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,919 Can't she come? It's going to be great! 452 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:54,239 Maybe if we run after some Indians, Will we be able to shoot them? 453 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,199 Okay. 454 00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,679 I'll leave it in advance. Let me draw a map. 455 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:03,599 So... 456 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,839 Obi Wank Chernobyl Dojo 457 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,919 But what... Who are you? 458 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,919 But what the hell am I in? 459 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,239 Did you abuse me while I slept? 460 00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:32,879 I asked if you abused me while I slept! 461 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:38,159 I can't hear well. Speak in my good ear. 462 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,079 Yuck! 463 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,639 Jompa, you need guidance. 464 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,999 You have no focus on the battle. 465 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,519 Concentration. Huh? 466 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,159 But relax. 467 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:55,039 So I, Obi Wank Chernobyl, I'm done with you, 468 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,959 you are more contracted, 469 00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,799 than notroglycerin. 470 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,319 And the enemy will have you again. 471 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,919 Look at this. 472 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,919 "What the dog says, four letters." 473 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,319 And it starts with B. 474 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,159 Uni, duni, duni, t� salam� mingu�. 475 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:36,199 No. 476 00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,599 Monkey. 477 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,879 Keep your eyes on the ball. 478 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:09,519 Jompa? 479 00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:12,439 Always focused. 480 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:44,239 Pour honey on my balls and call me Laila! Leave it to me! 481 00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,519 Jompa... 482 00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:31,039 You have been a good student. Remember what I taught you. 483 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,159 Focus. Always focused. 484 00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,719 Thank you so much for the lovely hour of pure education, 485 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:39,959 in your concentration camp. 486 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,519 Trust your feelings. 487 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,079 And revenge will be yours. 488 00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:52,639 Thanks. 489 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,959 Jompa is back! 490 00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:51,759 Where the hell are we? This place seems the pubes of my grandmother's pussy. 491 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:56,119 According to your father's map, this is the right way. 492 00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:00,799 Your father is a good guy. �. 493 00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:03,279 A complex man. 494 00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:08,279 We fight, but I had a good feeling yesterday. 495 00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:13,199 I think things might work out this time. It makes me feel good. 496 00:51:13,720 --> 00:51:15,399 Dear... 497 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:23,159 Cato, stop playing with that snake! Let's go! 498 00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:18,199 My body is ready. 499 00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:22,679 Just like my mind. I'm a killing machine again. 500 00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:26,039 Only one thing is missing... 501 00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,679 Find the Frog. 502 00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,679 The Frog. 503 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,799 The Frog... The Frog! 504 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,719 The Frog. The Frog, the Frog, the Frog. 505 00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:41,839 That sounds funny when you say quickly. 506 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,999 I had even found a new favorite dish. 507 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,719 Swordfish. 508 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:54,839 Now that I was full, all that was left was to find the... 509 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,599 What was his name? Yes, the Frog. 510 00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,679 And get... my revenge! 511 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:08,879 That's not mine. 512 00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,919 Jompa, relax. I'm not here to fight. 513 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,879 I just had to find it. 514 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,119 Don't you recognize me? 515 00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:25,159 What the hell are you doing here? Get lost! 516 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,079 And take that banjo with you! 517 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,559 That... was great! 518 00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:55,479 It's almost as if we were doing something illegal. 519 00:53:55,480 --> 00:54:00,399 Illegal? Anal sex was legalized in the 50s. 520 00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:03,959 Maybe you mean, illegally good! 521 00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,999 I say, two men... 522 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,759 Boning. It felt wrong, somehow. 523 00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,599 Did I just turn a man on? 524 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,959 Have I ever had sex with a man? 525 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:19,559 Jompa... 526 00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:23,359 I have a beard. 527 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,239 Most girls in my hometown have beards. 528 00:54:26,240 --> 00:54:29,839 And my face and my voice? 529 00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,679 Not to mention my hairy ass? 530 00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,079 Again: At home, girls. 531 00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,759 What did you think of me stuck in your ass? 532 00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,639 A consolation, etc. 533 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,319 I like these naughty things. 534 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:49,119 But you kept saying: "Take this, you dirty little man!" 535 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:53,359 I was talking to myself in the third person. 536 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,599 This is a disaster! 537 00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,439 You know what they do with homos back home? 538 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:06,039 Just like many of the five or six people They're going to talk behind my back! 539 00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:10,679 Jompa, That's a small price to pay for love. 540 00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:15,799 I should have known you were gay with all this love talk! Skirt! 541 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,119 You just fucked my ass. I can't walk. 542 00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:20,799 Outside! I can't... 543 00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:22,679 Out of my life! 544 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:27,839 No one can find out more about it! Never! 545 00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:38,079 After you threw me away, I went to Thailand and had an operation. 546 00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,639 I was hoping maybe you'd take me back. 547 00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,359 Are you comfortable with this? 548 00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:50,399 I'm not comfortable with its new dialect, but ok. 549 00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:54,119 Don't you have the balls? None. 550 00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:57,479 Well... What are we waiting for? 551 00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:01,799 Jompa, eat me like you've never eaten me before! 552 00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,879 Careful, I just had surgery. 553 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,519 The bandages, the bandages! 554 00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:23,239 Jompa, you haven't forgotten your old tricks. 555 00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:25,639 I know how to fuck a pussy. 556 00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,079 What do you know about... 557 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,799 From someone called "The Frog"? 558 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:44,799 I believe the frog is someone that you shouldn't touch. 559 00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:48,119 Can't you just forget? 560 00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:50,279 Hey, hellooo!? 561 00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:55,599 That bastard killed Rudolph, Johnny, Kasper, Jesper, Jonatan - 562 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,759 - Vidkun, Reinert, Kiel, Pål, Bang, Hansen, - 563 00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,079 - Einar, Gelius, - 564 00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,359 - Rudolph II, Rudolph III, - 565 00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,399 - Rudolph IV - 566 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,879 - Johannes and Gørild. 567 00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,679 They were all killed. 568 00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,839 What did they do? 569 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,839 What did those poor reindeer do, huh? 570 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:25,319 What did these poor reindeer do? 571 00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:29,719 You really loved them. 572 00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,839 Enough pillow talk. 573 00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:36,239 If you know how I can catch the Frog, tell me now. 574 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:42,479 I know the frog has a palace in Paneng River. 575 00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,759 Only accessible by boat. 576 00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:48,199 And no one is stupid enough to get there. 577 00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,599 The only place you can find someone... 578 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:53,319 It's in the bar bar. 579 00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:58,279 The largest in Thailand. Full of crackpots and bandits. 580 00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:01,319 Jompa, please, if you go there, 581 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,879 Be careful who you trust. 582 00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:11,359 Good luck. I hope you know what you're doing. 583 00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:14,359 I always know what I'm doing. 584 00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:23,559 Wow! 585 00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:27,639 I don't see... 586 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:29,679 an elevator. 587 00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,039 Come on, you little wimps. 588 00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:04,879 Whiskey on the rocks. 589 00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:15,839 I'm glad I didn't ask for sex on the beach. 590 00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:29,639 I need someone to take me to Paneng River. 591 00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,039 Hello. 592 00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,799 You need a man who knows everything which is the hole of this world. 593 00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:53,719 Are you Latin? 594 00:59:55,720 --> 01:00:00,399 I can guarantee you that I will take you to hell and bring you back as long as you pay me. 595 01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:02,839 But I warn you. 596 01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:05,879 This river is full of... 597 01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:09,759 pirates, prostitutes and crackpots. 598 01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,079 I don't care! 599 01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:21,239 I suffered an injustice. I want revenge. 600 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,879 And you will take me for free. 601 01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,119 No. 602 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,999 Double the value, you say? OK. 603 01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:39,639 It's the deal. 604 01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:53,319 Take your hand off. 605 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:55,519 It won't be any picnic. 606 01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:17,599 Impressive craftsmanship. Similar to what I do alone. 607 01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,599 Take my hat. 608 01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:22,879 Welcome, welcome! 609 01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:27,279 Who the hell scared you? 610 01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,039 Sid, he's an albino. 611 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,319 Albino! 612 01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,679 Al Bino? Sid Wisløff. A pleasure. 613 01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:38,959 Beautiful place here! -He's an albino! 614 01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:45,759 My name is Pale. I am the frog's butler. 615 01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:50,079 -You must be friends with Waldemar. -Friends. Son. 616 01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:54,119 Waldemar's friends are my friends. Are you tired? 617 01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:57,759 Bob and Lugi will take them to their rooms. 618 01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:02,079 Take a shower and take a good dump, because tonight, 619 01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:05,119 You will eat like kings! 620 01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,279 Eat like things? 621 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,799 It looks like a roll of toilet paper! 622 01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,839 THE MILLENNIUM RAVEN 623 01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:46,359 I was getting closer. I could smell my revenge. 624 01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:49,039 Or was it just food on my mustache? 625 01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,999 Anyway, the captain was right. 626 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,919 The trip downriver was no picnic. 627 01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,079 And I was starving. 628 01:02:57,080 --> 01:03:01,039 I wouldn't mind to cook some potatoes. 629 01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:04,719 With wild blackberries for dessert. 630 01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:18,199 In 1982, my friend Pekka and I they were at a badass drinking party. 631 01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,319 My hunger wasn't the only problem. 632 01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:25,199 I was about to go crazy... 633 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,519 - Useless, absurd stories the captain said. 634 01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:31,759 And I shrunk five centimeters! 635 01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:37,759 And that's the last thing I remember. 636 01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,199 Before I wake up. 637 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:43,399 Dead. 638 01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:46,119 Really? 639 01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:47,759 Almost. 640 01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:53,319 Yes I know. 641 01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:55,759 Shut up. 642 01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:59,519 From now on we have to be very careful. 643 01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:03,959 This is the most dangerous part of the river. 644 01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:16,719 Lemon pie! 645 01:04:20,600 --> 01:04:22,279 Wow! 646 01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:25,839 It looks delicious. And you too! 647 01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:29,279 Hey, Kenneth! A dry martini! 648 01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:35,319 Dad is funny. 649 01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:38,559 It looks delicious! 650 01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:46,519 It's good, but there's something... in flavor. 651 01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:51,119 Lemming pie is my favorite. Fresh, but not too fresh. 652 01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,879 Bitter, but not very angry. 653 01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:55,719 Perfect! 654 01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:57,719 Lemming - 655 01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,359 - Pie, Sid. Lemming. 656 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:05,999 Damn... 657 01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:07,759 What the fuck... 658 01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:11,159 Don't you have any normal food? Ah, pork! 659 01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:14,039 Now yes! 660 01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:17,479 Pork! 661 01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,679 Pig fetuses! My favorite! 662 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:26,719 Eat the head first, and then you It can suck out the insides. Like this. 663 01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:35,199 The taste of life not lived. Delicious. 664 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:37,679 Excuse me. 665 01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:40,679 Can I have some normal food, please? 666 01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:41,799 Attention! 667 01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,079 Here we go. Sorbet! 668 01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,879 Ask and you will receive. Yes. 669 01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,999 Let me see... Sid? 670 01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,679 Get your pissy fingers off me! 671 01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:03,079 A little bitter, but despite everything, good ice cream. 672 01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:04,879 Ice cream? 673 01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:08,879 Don't be vulgar. It's monkey sperm. 674 01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:12,199 My favorites. We only feed them pineapples. 675 01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:14,679 Then the sperm tastes good. 676 01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:22,159 Stop this shit! Don't embarrass your father. 677 01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:25,359 Have you never tried monkey sperm before? 678 01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:28,079 So you're a swallower, Sid? 679 01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:31,559 I grew up with my grandfather's semen. 680 01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:36,159 We had to eat it. Grandma used to put cream on our cakes. 681 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:39,239 This is making me sweat. 682 01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:46,919 Sid! 683 01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:51,519 What did I say? Get your pissy fingers off me! 684 01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:53,359 Cato, poor thing! 685 01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:55,799 He has to learn someday. 686 01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:57,559 Cato... 687 01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:05,119 Nice to enter, much more pleasant to leave. 688 01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:08,839 Time for a strong coffee. Waitress? 689 01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:11,439 No coffee for me, please. 690 01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:29,599 We went to the foot of the palace. My search was over. 691 01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:33,119 I was at the "point of no return - 692 01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:34,959 - To the sender." 693 01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:38,839 If I don't return by dawn... 694 01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:44,639 Keep waiting for me. 695 01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:47,439 Don't worry, Jompa. 696 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:51,599 We're going to stick it like shit in your face until you pay us. 697 01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:54,559 Weak. 698 01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,439 Where is Cato? -Cato! 699 01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:14,479 I have no idea. If we're lucky, he's dead. Don't talk like that. 700 01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:22,279 I have something to tell you. 701 01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:26,439 I didn't come here because I love hiking. 702 01:08:26,440 --> 01:08:28,039 I hate hiking. 703 01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:31,559 Things are literally happening here! 704 01:08:34,480 --> 01:08:38,199 There's something... Wonderful! 705 01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:41,879 I'm trying to tell you something. I have... 706 01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:45,279 Time for action. Stop! 707 01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:49,679 I'm trying to tell you something! Don't you understand? 708 01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:52,719 You don't have antennas at all? 709 01:08:52,720 --> 01:08:54,319 Yes? 710 01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:59,079 I have something serious to tell you. 711 01:08:59,080 --> 01:09:02,999 I'm not... who you think I am. 712 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,159 Yes, you are. I know who you are, Anniken. 713 01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:08,519 Do you know? Yes. 714 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:12,599 My dick is as hard as ever. 715 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:14,999 In your honor, Anniken. 716 01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:22,879 Shit! What the fuck! 717 01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:23,999 Take this! 718 01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,279 Get lost! 719 01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:32,119 Thanks to you, I will have blue balls the rest of the day. 720 01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:44,799 My intuition Sami warned me against three warriors guarding the frog. 721 01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:49,999 The first warrior he was practically invulnerable. 722 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,839 With just one Achilles heel. 723 01:09:58,440 --> 01:10:02,399 The second warrior it was practically invisible. 724 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,719 There is no one here. 725 01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:10,919 Winning would be as hard as hitting a child. 726 01:10:10,920 --> 01:10:12,639 Hello, little man. 727 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:15,759 Really? 728 01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:19,519 Let's go. 729 01:10:27,680 --> 01:10:31,639 The third, a sniper. 730 01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:35,319 In other words, a badass gunslinger. 731 01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:38,319 Choose your weapon. Sword. 732 01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:41,439 or pistol. 733 01:10:41,440 --> 01:10:45,239 Quick. I just had dinner 734 01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:47,159 and I need to poop. 735 01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,959 Take five steps, come back 736 01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:58,919 and shoot. 737 01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:02,759 Whoever shoots the fastest wins. 738 01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:07,719 Just a warning: I've never lost a duel. 739 01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:13,759 I had never tried balls as a sumo wrestler before, too. 740 01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:17,439 Enough chit-chat. May the best win. 741 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,679 Um... 742 01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:26,919 Sorry, I can only count to one. 743 01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:33,079 OK... 744 01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:34,839 Calm down. 745 01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:38,479 Stop pushing. 746 01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:44,399 You said you took care of him. 747 01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:46,719 I must have lost it. 748 01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:48,399 Don't lie to me! 749 01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:51,359 Cheating bitch! 750 01:11:58,880 --> 01:12:00,799 What the fuck? 751 01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:02,919 What's going on here? 752 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:06,239 -Sid? -Jompa? 753 01:12:07,880 --> 01:12:09,719 -Unni? -Who is Unni? 754 01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:11,439 Relax. Unni is dead. 755 01:12:12,440 --> 01:12:13,959 Peggy? 756 01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:18,519 Peggy is in a wheelchair. We don't talk much. 757 01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:19,559 Pale? 758 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,399 Annikken? 759 01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:23,719 -Gunnar? -Unknown guard? 760 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:35,199 You angered my master, he You want to see it with your own eyes. 761 01:12:37,960 --> 01:12:39,599 On your knees. 762 01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:42,279 for Frog! 763 01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:16,119 Special agent Anniken Skaiwalker! Lower your weapons! 764 01:13:16,520 --> 01:13:18,199 Or... 765 01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:23,639 Let's have frog legs for dinner! No! Ask something better. 766 01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:28,039 Good. I knew you weren't here because of Sid. 767 01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:29,759 That would be crazy. 768 01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:32,279 I used Sid to get to Sapo. 769 01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:37,679 Did you use me? Nobody uses Sid Wisløff. Who are you? 770 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:39,479 I tried to tell him. 771 01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:42,479 I'm a police officer. International division. 772 01:13:42,480 --> 01:13:45,919 We were after these bastards for months. 773 01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:50,079 I feel like a cheap slut. Used and thrown away... 774 01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:53,039 How cool, You are emotional, but... 775 01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:58,039 Father! You said never to hit a woman, 776 01:13:58,040 --> 01:14:02,279 except during sex. 777 01:14:06,440 --> 01:14:09,639 What's going on? Relax, Sid. 778 01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:14,519 I'll just kill you. Consider... 779 01:14:15,640 --> 01:14:17,759 A late abortion. 780 01:14:26,080 --> 01:14:29,439 There is no conference here in Thailand. 781 01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:34,159 I'm going to get us out of here. 782 01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:37,559 Just close your eyes and hold tight. 783 01:14:37,560 --> 01:14:39,239 Teleportation! 784 01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:50,799 Sorry. Apparently my level of badass isn't it has come so far. 785 01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:56,639 Lactose? 786 01:14:57,440 --> 01:14:59,159 Come on, Lactose. 787 01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:00,839 Lactose! 788 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:02,599 Lactose? 789 01:15:02,600 --> 01:15:04,399 Lactose! 790 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:06,159 Lactose? 791 01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:08,999 Lactose! Lactose... 792 01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,159 Cato, my friend. Can you hear me? 793 01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:19,839 Frog would like to introduce to you an old acquaintance. 794 01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,959 Sid. 795 01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:24,639 Jompa. 796 01:15:24,640 --> 01:15:26,479 Papa Buljo? 797 01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:29,759 Surprised to see me? 798 01:15:29,760 --> 01:15:31,639 A little. 799 01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:34,719 Few people survive a 200 meter fall. 800 01:15:34,720 --> 01:15:39,559 But I fell into a school of salmon. They took me down the river. 801 01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:42,439 I suffered a lot afterwards. 802 01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:45,279 With migraine. An unpleasant headache. 803 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:49,159 And someone will pay for it! 804 01:15:50,200 --> 01:15:53,799 We saved Tampa and we managed to sew it, 805 01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:56,999 But he leaks water when he drinks. 806 01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:59,599 Thanks daddy. Thanks. 807 01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:03,799 Get out, bastard! 808 01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:08,159 Papa Buljo, Couldn't you just leave us alone? 809 01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:11,839 When the Frog came to me with your business idea... 810 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,559 It wasn't difficult to accept. 811 01:16:19,440 --> 01:16:23,759 One: I could get rid of all those damn reindeer. 812 01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:28,759 Two: I could get...my revenge. 813 01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:31,639 And three: 814 01:16:32,320 --> 01:16:36,199 This will make me immensely rich! 815 01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:42,399 Frog... 816 01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:46,319 Kill them all! 817 01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:49,079 Starting with Jompa. 818 01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:53,119 Pack him up and send him to my house. 819 01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:57,519 Kill the rest. Give it to the dogs. 820 01:16:57,520 --> 01:16:59,639 Then kill the dogs. 821 01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:03,359 And then feed the dead dogs to other dogs. 822 01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,079 Lactose? 823 01:17:05,880 --> 01:17:07,679 Kill them all later... 824 01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:12,519 and feed another series of dogs... 825 01:17:12,520 --> 01:17:18,119 Your friends are in trouble! 826 01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:31,599 Kill these dogs, and feed them to another series of dogs... 827 01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:33,159 That's it! 828 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:53,279 This cave is a monument protected by the government. It would be very difficult, like removing blood from the floor. 829 01:17:53,800 --> 01:17:55,959 It blends into the soil, 830 01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:58,879 That's it. 831 01:17:58,880 --> 01:18:00,919 A problem. 832 01:18:09,280 --> 01:18:11,519 What the hell? Cato? 833 01:18:13,600 --> 01:18:15,039 Lactose! 834 01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:44,399 Did you rip the balls off? My Specialty. 835 01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:17,199 Muay Thai? 836 01:19:18,280 --> 01:19:21,279 Early childhood education in Norway. 837 01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:26,399 -Sid... -Anniken... 838 01:20:46,440 --> 01:20:49,199 You're horny! 839 01:20:51,520 --> 01:20:53,959 Cato, help! The frog! 840 01:20:57,800 --> 01:20:59,639 Lactose! 841 01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:35,879 Hey, look! Girls made up. 842 01:21:35,880 --> 01:21:40,039 Isn't that good? Now they are enjoying your breasts. 843 01:21:40,040 --> 01:21:42,039 Hmmm, boobs! 844 01:21:42,040 --> 01:21:46,919 One, two, three, four... At least six whole breasts. 845 01:21:46,920 --> 01:21:48,839 Jompa... Obi Wank! 846 01:21:48,840 --> 01:21:51,279 Remember, focus! 847 01:21:51,280 --> 01:21:53,279 Always focus. 848 01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,239 Take care of it. 849 01:22:48,640 --> 01:22:50,399 Now it's over! 850 01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:03,679 No! 851 01:23:05,120 --> 01:23:06,319 My. 852 01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:09,439 Shit! Revenge! 853 01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:18,519 Sid! 854 01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:45,759 You're kidding me! 855 01:23:51,920 --> 01:23:53,599 Cato, old man! 856 01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:57,119 You saved my life! I am eternally grateful. 857 01:23:57,120 --> 01:23:58,759 Lactose! 858 01:23:58,760 --> 01:24:02,439 My hero! My friend! We will never be apart again. 859 01:24:02,440 --> 01:24:04,039 I love... 860 01:24:14,600 --> 01:24:16,239 That was fun. 861 01:24:19,080 --> 01:24:21,239 Jompa, 862 01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:24,719 Apparently he got a little excited. 863 01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:26,919 Sid... 864 01:24:26,920 --> 01:24:29,199 Are you sure they cleaned it up here? 865 01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:32,559 People died. Show some respect! 866 01:24:32,560 --> 01:24:35,279 Jompa, you end here. 867 01:24:35,280 --> 01:24:38,519 Where are you going? Find my father. 868 01:24:39,160 --> 01:24:41,039 And kill him. 869 01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:43,239 Have fun. 870 01:24:43,240 --> 01:24:44,959 Cato, come on! 871 01:24:49,560 --> 01:24:54,279 Here is a small sample of what will happen to you. 872 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:04,639 No! 873 01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:33,839 It felt good to bite the Frog's head. 874 01:25:33,840 --> 01:25:37,679 Emotionally of course! Physically he tastes like a sour dick. 875 01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:41,119 But... Not that I've ever tried dick. 876 01:25:41,120 --> 01:25:42,719 You understand what I mean. 877 01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:44,879 My journey is not over. 878 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:47,279 It's just beginning. 879 01:25:47,280 --> 01:25:52,039 It was time to bring my revenge back to where it all began. 880 01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:55,479 It was time to go back... to Norway. 881 01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:17,239 Going back to what I said about the frog that tastes like sour wood. 882 01:26:17,240 --> 01:26:21,159 You may think that I have ever tasted some sour dick. 883 01:26:21,160 --> 01:26:24,719 But I never, ever, I have never, ever tried it. 884 01:26:24,720 --> 01:26:29,159 I've never tried sweet dick, salty dick, 885 01:26:29,160 --> 01:26:34,239 bitter stick, licorice stick, dick of any animal on the planet, 886 01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:36,079 dog dick, 887 01:26:36,080 --> 01:26:40,199 And I never went near bear dick. 888 01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:42,919 For everyone watching: 889 01:26:42,920 --> 01:26:47,279 Stay away from the bear's dick. 890 01:26:47,280 --> 01:26:49,639 I've already tasted horse dick. 891 01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:54,999 My girlfriend liked it. 892 01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:59,959 But I repeat: I've never tried sour dick. 893 01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:03,559 Except a popular pagoda singer. He had a sour dick. 894 01:27:03,600 --> 01:28:27,039 Translated from English by Emanuel Baptista. Big fan of Kill Buljo and Dead Snow.