0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,353 We had a threesome. 1 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,994 Henry called the police. I got arrested, and now he's walked out. 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,554 Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,319 This face is mine. It's copyright to me. 4 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,477 It's not to be used for masturbation without my express permission, 5 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,114 and that permission you do not have. 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,355 They're suspending you, with immediate effect, without pay. 7 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,277 But she's lying. 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,151 - Does this mean you're a virgin? - I'm not talking about it. 9 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,316 I am not talking about this. I'm really not talking about it, OK? 10 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,112 It's never gonna happen. 11 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,435 Watch me try! 12 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,112 Oh... 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,320 Uh... 14 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:53,950 Ah... 15 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,115 Oh... 16 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,195 Oh... 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,559 - Ooh... - Ah... 18 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,999 - Oh... - Ah... 19 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,997 When does it stop? Is it ever going to stop? 20 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,955 Ah. 21 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,392 I'm ready. Show me the shag palace. 22 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,715 Morning. Did you get everything? 23 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,797 There's more in the car, but he kept the PC. 24 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,717 He said that's not yours, that's the house computer. 25 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,355 There's no such thing. What's a house computer? I paid for it. 26 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,550 Tell him, not me. Oh, and I brought all the DVDs. 27 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,555 I started dividing them up, 28 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,273 and Lance said just take them so I packed the whole lot. 29 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,391 Oh, my God! 30 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,715 Oh, your rent's insane. 31 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,990 It must be some sort of scam. I could get a thousand quid for this per week. 32 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,838 Oh, this is Dean, and, um... that's Freddie. 33 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,678 Oh, hello, Freddie. Dean. 34 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,952 - Hiya. - Cleo, my sister. 35 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,070 Not Chloe. Everyone says Chloe, but it's Cleo. 36 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,271 This is Adam, my nephew. Hands off, ha-ha. 37 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,869 And, er... that's Molly. She's my niece, and that's little baby Lou. 38 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,673 She's Cleo's, not Molly's. Molly's only 12. Huh. 39 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,359 Although, you know, these days... 40 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,316 Hey. 41 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,032 - Can I have a shower? - Sure. 42 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,310 Use my towel. It's on the rail. 43 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,389 That's Jacob. Met him last night. Fucked him stupid. 44 00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:00,752 Well, three years ago, they built me a new vagina, so nothing's gonna shock me. 45 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,473 Now put the kettle on, Freddie. Er... I'll have a coffee, black. 46 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,513 Adam's a Coke, full fat, and Molly drinks water, no ice. Chop chop! 47 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,230 She's got a brother called Sonny. 48 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,032 I'm trying to adopt him as well, but he still lives with the mother. 49 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,278 It's all a bit complicated. But we'll see. We'll get there. 50 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,756 Cos Cleo's adopted. She's the eldest. She came first. 51 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,791 It's funny, cos our parents couldn't conceive so they adopted Cleo. 52 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,673 Then, as soon as she arrived, Mum got pregnant with me. 53 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,039 It's weird. Happens a lot, apparently. 54 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,232 What Henry means is, I was special but he was just an accident. 55 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,477 What Cleo means is, I was natural but she was bought in a shop. 56 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,751 You're lucky. You should see my family. They're a nightmare. 57 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,918 - They chucked me out in the street. - Fair do's. I'd chuck you out. 58 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,630 Cleo was the first person I told. 59 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,194 Oh, I knew before he did. 60 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,391 When he was about 12 or 13, if there was a man on telly who took his shirt off, 61 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,558 and believe me, men didn't take their shirts off back then, 62 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,194 Henry would go so quiet. 63 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,073 And I mean, silent. Like he was terrified. 64 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,716 Who was that man? Kevin Banks? 65 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,271 - Kevin Banks on Crossroads. - I wonder what happened to him. 66 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,878 Did I look scared? 67 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,360 Yeah. 68 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,955 Sorry. Excuse me, but... are you Adam Whitaker? 69 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,753 Ah! You got me. 70 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,351 Here you go. 71 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,279 Sorry. I made a pledge. Everyone who recognises me gets a badge. 72 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,719 "I've Met Adam Whitaker." 73 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,355 I've gotta be honest. It's for the girls, really, but rules are rules. 74 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,231 I'll give it to my mate Griff. 75 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,838 He has a regular thing with you, every Sunday morning. 76 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,269 What do you mean? What sort of thing? 77 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,719 He wanks over him. 78 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,275 Not me personally. My vlog. I'm a vlogger. 79 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:56,155 Big shout out to Danielle. She said, what if you cover Beanie in goose grease? 80 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,509 We get money from ads, and then we've got merchandise. 81 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,312 We've got wristbands, T-shirts, 82 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:05,559 and we're getting mugs next week, mugs with my face on, mugs of my mug. 83 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,434 - So, we make about 500 quid a month. - No way. 500 quid? 84 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,835 Well, we've got over 100,000 subscribers, 85 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,154 two thirds of them in Germany. 86 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,952 - Why Germany? - It's a real thing out there 87 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,150 with middle-aged men. Eine kleine Britische boy. 88 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,919 That's why we take our shirts off. It monetises. 89 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,839 So, there's like 60,000 Germans tossing off over you? 90 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,953 Ich bin ein wankfest. I get naked and they send me money. 91 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,470 - Isn't that a bit like prostitution? - Yeah. How much do you earn? 92 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,673 So, there we go. 93 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,917 That's them. The kids. 94 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,269 Great flat, though. It gets freezing at night. 95 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,834 Oh. OK. 96 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,314 Are we done? 97 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,877 - For Christ's sake, go home. - Oh, don't you start. 98 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,310 Go home, go home, go home, you stupid little man. 99 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,555 Molly fancies him, for God's sake! Molly. 100 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,239 Oh, I need that thousand quid for the underpinning. Can I have it? 101 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,633 Sure, yeah. 102 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,240 - I mean, can I have it now? - OK, I'll transfer it. 103 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,874 Well, can you do it now, though? I mean, really now. I... I've just got some bills. 104 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,397 If you'd brought my PC, I'd be twice as fast. 105 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,556 House computer! I'm having that back. The liar. 106 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,956 Does he know? Freddie. Does he know you're still a virgin? 107 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,152 No, because I'm not. I've had stacks of sex, stacks of it. 108 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,952 I was shagging all the way through the '90s, thank you very much. 109 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,312 Just because I don't do... penetration, that doesn't mean it's not sex. 110 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,157 Oh, I've had plenty of nights like that. 111 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,033 No penetration, just a quick little fiddle when he's fast asleep, 112 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,913 and let me tell you, on nights like that, I'm very clear about one thing. 113 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,598 I have not had sex. 114 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,836 Where's my money gone? 115 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,075 Why did you ask for that thousand quid right now? 116 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,394 It's mine. 117 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,271 You knew. 118 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,108 He told you. He's emptied the joint accounts, and you bloody knew! 119 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,754 That bastard. That cheeky bastard! 120 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,109 ... observatory in Greenwich. 121 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,833 What star sign are you? 122 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,549 Sorry, I'm busy. Leave a message. Thanks. 123 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:10,435 Yeah, well, I'm pissing myself with laughter, you little fucking bastard! 124 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,674 Now put that money back! 125 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,792 Hi. I'm not available. Leave a message. 126 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,876 You might have noticed, 127 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,717 all our savings have been transferred to a brand-new account 128 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,113 under the name Lance E Sullivan, 129 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,994 and, yes, that's 100% legal, whether you like it or not. 130 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,598 Can I remind you, when your father died, 131 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,029 leaving all those stupid debts, who helped you? 132 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,197 But since you're newly unemployed, 133 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:36,030 I will transfer the sum of £100, once a week, into your account, 134 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,832 out of the goodness of my heart. 135 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,711 Yeah, your sister couldn't get away quick enough! 136 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,591 I gave you £8,000, remember?! 137 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,030 And I can do this on the house computer, 138 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,231 even though I had to take the hard drive and get it disinfected. 139 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,158 I'll get your father declared insane, posthumously, 140 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,919 so I can claim every penny back from you! 141 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,598 Come on, we're going! Hup! 142 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,269 Who paid for the fucking phone? I did! 143 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,436 Freddie. 144 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,278 Do me a favour. 145 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,151 Send him home. 146 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,759 I don't give a fuck. 147 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,639 See ya, then. 148 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,671 Yeah, give us a call. 149 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,876 Bye. 150 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,198 Freddie? It's Freddie, isn't it? 151 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,198 Do you remember me? Lynne, Lynne Pascoe. We met at that Sport Relief day. 152 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,789 - I'm with Gregory, look! - Oh, my God! Well, well, well! 153 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,671 And my sister, she's on that committee with your mum. 154 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,553 You know, the save-the-library thing. 155 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,511 - Good to see you! - Sir. 156 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,074 Oh, bollocks to that. It's Gregory. 157 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,120 Yeah. 158 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,071 It's weird, meeting teachers out of school, isn't it? 159 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,793 But these are ours, look. That's Nell. This is Ruby. 160 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,840 Hello! 161 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,394 They weren't even born when I was teaching you. 162 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,273 Like, that was what? Five years ago? Six? 163 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,639 It's been ages. 164 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,911 So, you, er... you dropped out of college, didn't you? Where was it, London? 165 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,315 Er... South Bank. 166 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,113 Yeah, we heard you were back. Er... Lynne's sister knows your mum. 167 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,275 They're on that library thing. 168 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,073 So, what was it? Didn't like it? 169 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,270 Too much theory? 170 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,151 Yeah. 171 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,873 Look, I tell you what, Ruby's going to need something to eat. 172 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,480 Do you want to come for a coffee in town, on us? What do you think? 173 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,193 Just ten minutes. Quick little coffee in town. 174 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,434 Yeah. 175 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,876 So, what sort of thing are you doing these days? Are you working? 176 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,957 Er... yeah, I'm training. I'm a chef. 177 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,232 Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's a great job. Hard work. 178 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,716 I'd love it, though, working in a kitchen all day, eh? 179 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,637 - So, where's that? In Manchester? - Yeah. 180 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:13,071 - But you're not living at home? - Er... no. I've got a flat. 181 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,473 How's your brother these days? 182 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,909 These two have their moments, eh? Don't you? Don't you, sweetheart? 183 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,758 Whoops! Sorry, sorry. I'm an idiot. 184 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,552 Sorry, sorry. Daddy's fault. 185 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,477 Silly old Daddy. Look at you, you monkey! 186 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,034 Pass me the blue bag. OK. 187 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,435 - Hold on, Rube. Just wait a minute. - My fault. Sorry. 188 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,040 - No worries. I'll change her in the loo. - Yeah. 189 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,991 Off we go. Come on, sweetheart. 190 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,635 - Yeah, that's it, and pass me the bag. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 191 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,716 Great. I won't be long. Sorry. 192 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,115 Come on, you. Are you all right? 193 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,957 Hey? 194 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,355 Say bye-bye. Say bye-bye. 195 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,840 It's like I can smell that space between your legs. 196 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,395 That stink. 197 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,711 Why did you drop out, then? College? 198 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,716 Dunno. 199 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,273 Gonna try again? 200 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,550 - Dunno. - You should, you really should. 201 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,149 I have got such a massive hard-on right now. 202 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,997 What about you? 203 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,508 - No. - Liar. 204 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,316 She could have changed that T-shirt on the spot. 205 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,509 She's only left us alone so I can try and talk you back into college. 206 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:32,309 My wife is the nicest woman in the world, and I just want to split you in half. 207 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,436 Remember that room? 208 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,800 - Yeah. - I loved that room. 209 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:42,840 Yeah. 210 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,229 Can I fuck you? 211 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,835 - We ended it. - Oh, for God's sake, Freddie. 212 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,189 I don't want to go out with you. I just want to fuck you one last time. 213 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,071 Can I do that? Can I? 214 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,554 - When? - Now. I mean now. 215 00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,828 - What? - Right now. 216 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,711 - How? - I don't know. 217 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,318 - You're with her. - I'll get away. 218 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,510 There's gotta be somewhere. Where do you live? Where's your flat? 219 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,472 No. No, no, it's too far. 220 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,748 We're in the middle of town. 221 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,110 There's got to be, um... a toilet or some sort of corner. 222 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,832 I don't know. You live here. Think. 223 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,592 We're getting stuff for her mum. It takes ages with the kids. 224 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,676 I'll get away. I'll think of something. Follow me. 225 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,869 What? What do you mean? 226 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,751 I don't know. Just follow me. There. 227 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,040 You said no numbers. 228 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,389 I know. Just this once. 229 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,074 But I'm never gonna see you again, Freddie. 230 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,430 This is it. 231 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,631 So, I just want to come inside you. 232 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,234 OK? 233 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,678 Follow me. 234 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,276 Oh, sorry, it's, er... Helen Carter. 235 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,754 She's doing that audio-visual thing, but she's lost the playlist. 236 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,236 - Well, can't she do it online? - You try telling her. 237 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,236 Right. 238 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,956 Fancy some more pasta tonight? 239 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,509 OK. Um... in fairness, it's not Helen's fault. 240 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:16,120 But the playlist isn't even online. Can you believe? 241 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,037 Look, I'll have to go back to the car. 242 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,593 Can't you do it later? 243 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,234 Any more texts and I'm gonna start swearing in front of the kids. 244 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,192 Seriously. I've got all that stuff in the boot. Give me 20 minutes. 245 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,754 OK, well, look, we'll go to Henrik's, OK? 246 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,712 You keep your phone on you and I'll tell you where we are. 247 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,479 - Go on, then. Hurry up. - Sorry. 248 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,555 They're not paying you enough! 249 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,393 - Is Freddie in? - No, sorry, he's, er... gone out. 250 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,273 He told me to wait, OK? 251 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,677 You're not part of this, are you? 252 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,039 Part of what? 253 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,718 That'll be him. 254 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,353 - You must be Roy. You got any stuff? - Not really. Just this. 255 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,039 - That'll do. You got balloons? - Yup! 256 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,753 Get that. 257 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:42,994 Freddie in? 258 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,630 - That's an old photo. - I'll fuck off, then. 259 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,671 - Balloons! - Hey, what about him? 260 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,039 - Wanna join in? - Oh, yeah! 261 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,599 You bastard. It's a long time since I saw 6am. 262 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,473 We don't start work for another three hours. 263 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,035 OK, we'll come in the afternoon, with kids pissing in the water. 264 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,031 Cos we're reaching peak times now 265 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,150 and, I'm telling you, that place is understaffed. 266 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,431 I mean, in Plymouth, they've got a team of 17 working on recuperation. 267 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,038 17. We've got five. 268 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,469 And that's going down to four by next year. 269 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,476 It'll be four by... April. 270 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,512 Yeah, I've gotta be honest, I thought I was moving to a bigger operation. 271 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,232 I mean, you've got the university, 272 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,511 yeah, but you could double the money from corporate. 273 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,313 Like in Plymouth, it's all dinners and conventions. 274 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,237 That stuff's a gold mine. 275 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,316 Just push yourself towards me. 276 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,157 Nice and gentle. 277 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,470 Just go with it. 278 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,079 - No. Sorry, nope. Shit! - It's OK. 279 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,350 Just try again. 280 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,918 That's it, you did it. You did it, yeah? 281 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,838 Oh, man. I just feel so stupid. 282 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,950 Now go back and do it again. 283 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,309 And again, and again, and again. 284 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,238 That's it, that's it. 285 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,477 Come on, keep going. 286 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,555 That's good. 287 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,159 Ronnie said that Peter Phillipson was asking about you. 288 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,071 You know, the one from Motorfield. He was sniffing round. 289 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,348 Seriously? 290 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,551 He said, '"I've heard Lance is single.'" Ronnie said, '"Yes.'" 291 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,114 He said, ' "Good.'" His actual words, good. 292 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:55,312 Well, it was more like, ' "Oh, good! '" 293 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,193 Nah. He's a bit insipid. 294 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,913 - What are you looking for, then? - Oh, I dunno. 295 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,873 I'm out of practice. I suppose someone who's sort of... 296 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,797 Well, OK. 297 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,149 Someone like you. 298 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,316 - He scores(!) - Well, it's true. 299 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,831 I mean, you're fit, you're not too ugly, and you're in the same job. That helps. 300 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,314 Man, I wish. It would make my life so much easier. 301 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,510 Listen, I had nine long years with Henry. 302 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,189 That's nine years without... whatever. 303 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,676 I had to invent all sorts of tricks. 304 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,153 - Like what? - You'll never know. 305 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,794 Well, go on. Like what? 306 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,796 Tell me! 307 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,435 - I give a great blow job. - OK. 308 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,993 In my opinion. 309 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,073 So, what do you do? 310 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,638 Jesus. 311 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,628 OK. You know most blow jobs end with a bit of a wank? 312 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,513 Oh, my God, I'm too old for this. 313 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:59,999 Right. So, most times, you finish by jerking off. 314 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,952 Well, 90% of the time. 99%. 315 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,430 Well, I can bring you off with just my mouth. I really can. That's a fact. 316 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,948 I know exactly where to go, right at the end. 317 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,231 Just before you reach that final surge, you know? 318 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,919 I can find exactly the right spot. 319 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,788 Where's that? 320 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,912 Anyway. 321 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,190 There we go, then. 322 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,280 Still. 323 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,870 If ever you're desperate. 324 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,070 OK, we're done here. 325 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,759 The world awaits. 326 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,870 Er... just give me a minute. 327 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,593 - What for? - I'm only wearing Speedos. 328 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,358 Gotta wait for this to go down. 329 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,113 Right, I'll go and see how supper's coming along. 330 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,755 Oh, Kevin, will you be seeing Carole? 331 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,758 - How do you mean? - Well, popping into the Coach House. 332 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,712 Or seeing her in the garage. 333 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,909 I shouldn't think so. Why? 334 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520 Well, I was thinking of inviting her for dinner... 335 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,597 Hello? It's me. Now listen. It's important. 336 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:19,316 I need to make some money fast. And whatever you do, don't tell your mother. 337 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,388 Oh, my God! This is weird. 338 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,513 Yeah. Nice, though, isn't it, hm? We did the whole place up. Floorboards. 339 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,757 - I thought it would be cobwebs. - It is a bit. 340 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,597 The last tenants left about four months ago. 341 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,950 Your mother's not had time, what with baby Lou, so she put me in charge, 342 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,798 but... I think we'll have to sell it, cos I need the money. 343 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,637 - She's not gonna like that. - Tough. 344 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,389 It's weird, though. I keep expecting to see Gran, coming through there. 345 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,839 She was always in the kitchen, wasn't she? 346 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,155 Every day of her life. 347 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,112 She'd kill you, using her old house to pimp out her grandson. 348 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,116 I'm not pimping. 349 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,549 I'm... 350 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,352 directing. 351 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,356 I'm directing you. 352 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,472 This stuff was everywhere, back in 2006. 353 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,238 There were hundreds of straight boys lip-synching, 354 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,633 and then they all disappeared. 355 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,113 That's cos of copyright. 356 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,912 The songs are copyright so you can't make money off them. 357 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,394 I know, but all your middle-aged men, they loved this stuff, 358 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,158 and they're still out there, still waiting. 359 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,192 That's why you need me, cos nobody knows this stuff better than I do. 360 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,037 And we did this at work with those promo videos. 361 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,719 We put them on Tumblr so the copyright doesn't matter. 362 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,799 You circumvent that and use the songs to drive the audience to the YouTube site, 363 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,673 and that's how you make money. 364 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,039 How much of it would be yours? 365 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,080 If I can double your earnings, I get 35% and then we can review every month. 366 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,873 Yeah, and you get this place free of charge, cos, look. 367 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,478 Instant upgrade. It looks fantastic. 368 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,592 Thousand times better than your scuzzy old bedroom. 369 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,916 I liked the bedroom. Thought it was homoerotic. 370 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:48,949 I'll be the judge of that. 371 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,434 Well, Penny Wicks gave me a hand job cos she thought it was homoerotic. 372 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,040 So, she can be the judge, thanks. 373 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,753 - Do you really need the money? - He's taken everything, even the PC. 374 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,677 You came with me to buy that, remember? I'm left with sod all. 375 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,597 We don't make a fortune, though. 376 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,631 I just need a little bit of cash. 377 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,592 Maybe for a month or so, just until Lance gives in. That's all. 378 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,359 Cos I know him. He's expecting me to beg, and I will not. 379 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,789 Thing is, all these straight boys, pretending to be gay. 380 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,149 - Does it not piss you off? - Oh, completely. 381 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,395 - But you're doing the exact same with us. - Yep. 382 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,954 Cos do you know what happens to you in life, Adam? You become the thing you hate. 383 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,230 Now shut up, take your shirt off and sing. 384 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,917 No way, man! That's hilarious! 385 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,279 Oh, come on, Beanie. 386 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,630 I'm bored now. We're never gonna finish. 387 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,398 - It's not like I mean it. - You'd better fucking not. 388 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,908 Boys, pick it up from the first chorus and concentrate, OK? 389 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,113 Hold on. 390 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,152 Look, I've got it, I got it. Just give me a minute. 391 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,475 Look, this is too funny! 392 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,359 - Hi there, Henry. You OK? - Yeah, not bad, thanks. 393 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,997 Oh, don't tell me. You've put it online and made 2,000 quid already? 394 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,157 No, thing is, there's this boy in my year, Tomasz. 395 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,760 He's Polish and he's straight, and he vlogs too. 396 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,916 I told him about the songs and he thought it was brilliant. 397 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,359 So, he said he'd do it with me. 398 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,153 - OK. What about Beanie? - Beanie's sacked. 399 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,315 He's your best friend. 400 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:50,591 Yeah, but he was rubbish. Let's face it, he failed to invest. 401 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,438 Well, yeah. Poor old Beanie. 402 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,118 Oh, never mind him. What do you think? 403 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,039 Tomasz only lives on Burnley Road. Can we try again? Take two! 404 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,751 Oh, round about that bit, we should keep looking at each other and not look away. 405 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,997 Yeah, that works. Get even closer, cos that's... that's really kinda hot. 406 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,032 - So, what else? What do you think? - Good, it's excellent. 407 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,593 But what else can we do? 408 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,040 They were doing all this back in 2006. We need to move it on. 409 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,516 You're the director. You tell us. What do you want to see? 410 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,791 Well, er... I suppose the thing that's missing... 411 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,389 Er... no, it's fine, honestly, but to be honest, 412 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,830 if you really want to know, when I'm watching this kind of thing, 413 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,996 I want them to kiss. 414 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,634 We can do that. Happy? 415 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,114 - No problem. - Great. Let's go. 416 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,916 How was that? 417 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,948 But was it OK? Did it look good? Was it convincing? 418 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,036 - Felt good to me. - Felt great. 419 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,718 - We can do it again. - We can give it a bit more. 420 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,034 We can give it a lot more. 421 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,229 Do you want us to go for it, yeah? 422 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,157 - Like I'm really gonna do him? - That's enough for today. 423 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,430 Let's go home. 424 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,550 Oh, come on! 425 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,114 And the latest attraction is the giant ocean sunfish. 426 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,357 Now, these fellas, they're bigger than the sharks. 427 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,960 They're the biggest bony fish in the world. 428 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,878 We've got specimens weighing more than 350 pounds. 429 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,677 - Yeah? - Hi there. It's me. 430 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,312 It's Lance. 431 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,430 - Yeah, what do you want? - I was just thinking. 432 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,153 That curry house that you were talking about, The Red Fort, yeah? 433 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,952 You said Ronnie liked it. 434 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,479 - Can you hear me? - What about it? 435 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:35,878 I'm starving. I haven't eaten yet. I thought... Do you want to go? 436 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,148 - Fucking hell. - Sorry? 437 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,033 Not surprised you want curry. You want that sting in your ring. 438 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,435 Yeah. So... 439 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,277 ... what do you think? 440 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,753 You OK? 441 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,360 Or... we could just go for a drink? 442 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,436 - I'm busy. - Yeah. 443 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,597 OK, all right. I'll see you at work, then. 444 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,198 - I'm in late tomorrow... - Bye, then. 445 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,153 Hello, sir. 446 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,795 Nice. 447 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,991 - Are you squatting? - This is my room. 448 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,875 So, how many of you are there? 449 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,356 It's just us. There's no-one in. You don't need to worry. 450 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,272 What do you think? 451 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,193 Good. 452 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,959 - Who's seen them? - No-one. 453 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,035 They're kind of visible. 454 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,594 Yeah, I put them on display. 455 00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,631 Just for you. 456 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,955 I can take them down again. 457 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,911 You shouldn't use my name. 458 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,679 - No-one's seen them. - All the same. 459 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,757 Really, though. You shouldn't. Be fair. 460 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,240 Do they turn you on? 461 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,639 Yeah. 462 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,956 I'll take that as a compliment. 463 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,552 They're good. They're strong. 464 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:25,789 They're very you. 465 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,919 - You should get rid of them. - Stop worrying. 466 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,632 Yeah, but... 467 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,352 ...we did it perfectly. 468 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,473 All those years with no numbers, no photos, no e-mails. 469 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,228 No great big flying cum shots with my name written all over them. 470 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:56,911 You can have 'em. 471 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,276 - Yeah? - Mm-hm. 472 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,673 They're yours. 473 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,831 Can't really take them home. 474 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,039 Oh, burn them. 475 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,195 I don't care. 476 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,193 That'd be a shame. 477 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,991 It's up to you. 478 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,153 Have you got copies? 479 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,156 Nope. 480 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,114 How many times have you jerked off over them? 481 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,036 - A million. - I bet. 482 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,590 I should go home. 483 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,598 - It's all right. - Who is it? 484 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,000 Doesn't matter, does it? They're not gonna know who you are. 485 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,709 - It's Dean. - Who's Dean? 486 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,637 He's an idiot. 487 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,398 Come on! 488 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,113 Just get it off. Pull it. Do the other one. 489 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,878 Pull it. Pull it. 490 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:36,880 Get up. 491 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,554 Who's that? 492 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,280 Anyone in? 493 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,151 - Can you still pay my rent? - Oh, be fair. That was once. 494 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,350 - Was it? Who said so? - God's sake. 495 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,799 Oh. 496 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,434 Look. 497 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,517 You know what happened at work. 498 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:38,913 I would if I could. 499 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,031 Oh. Ah. 500 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,475 You OK? 501 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,112 Yeah. 502 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,677 - No, no. - OK. OK. 503 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,474 What do you want to do? 504 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,348 I want to fuck you. 505 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,799 Well, I'm fucking you. 506 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:30,879 Let me fuck you this time, Gregory. I want to fuck you now. 507 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:33,799 OK. 508 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,509 We don't do that. 509 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,791 I want to fuck your arse so hard. 510 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,278 Well, sorry. 511 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,869 It's all right, being fucked. It's not weak. 512 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000 I never said it was. 513 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,359 Then let me fuck you. 514 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:02,954 Maybe... 515 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,276 ...this was all a long time ago. What do you think? 516 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:17,400 Am I too old for you now? 517 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,390 That's not what I said. 518 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,476 OK. Sorry. We tried. 519 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,756 - Was that of me? - Souvenir. 520 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,319 We said no photos. That's the rule. 521 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,476 I think you'd better delete it. 522 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,919 Is that OK? 523 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,871 Who've you got now? 524 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,673 In school. Who's the new boy? 525 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:01,908 No-one. 526 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,679 There isn't. I'm married. I... I'm happy. 527 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:06,358 I am. 528 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,595 I've got Lynne and the kids. 529 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:11,800 There was only you. 530 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:13,880 Yeah? 531 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,834 I think you should delete it. 532 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,235 I've got her number. 533 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,710 Who? 534 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:32,235 07700900576. 535 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,474 What's that? 536 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,435 Your wife's sister. 537 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,755 On that committee with my mother. 538 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,030 I phoned home. 539 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,230 And got... Sally's number. 540 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,114 - Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! - OK, OK. Sorry. Sorry, Freddie. 541 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:54,154 I'm... I'm sorry if I ever pissed you off but I... I'd really appreciate... 542 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,913 Don't send it. 543 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:03,749 Please. 544 00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,235 That boy Adnan. Do you remember him? 545 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,077 He came out in Year 11. 546 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,190 Judy Jones, Year 10. 547 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,596 That little Steve Bowden was out from the age of 13. That should've been me. 548 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,993 He was just a camp little kid. 549 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,112 But he was out. They were all out. 550 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,912 And I was getting ten times the sex that they ever did, 551 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,474 but I had to keep it a secret because of you. 552 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,112 You loved every second of it. 553 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,913 Oh, you were the fuck of my life. 554 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,718 But do you know what's even better? Fucking with you now. 555 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,228 - Fuck off! Fuck off! - Give it to me! 556 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,431 - Get off me! - OK. Let's stop. 557 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,199 - Just give it! Give it! - I said no! Let go of me! Let go! 558 00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:47,233 Give me that phone and I'll walk out of here and you'll never see me again! 559 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,953 Now delete that fucking photo, OK?! 560 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,038 Aaah! 561 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,191 Fucking kill him, Henry! 562 00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:04,840 Just leave us! This is a private matter! 563 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,074 - He's a thief! - You fucking twat! 564 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,519 - He stole something of mine! - Just get him! Take the phone! 565 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,028 Christ! He's hurting you! 566 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,718 - Oh, Jesus! - Fuck off! 567 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,432 Jesus Christ, you bastard! 568 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,755 He's obsessed with me! He came here to hurt me! 569 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,313 You liar! You did it! You brought me here! 570 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,080 The wall! The wall, Henry! Look at the wall! 571 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,672 - Fuck you! Fuck off! - Just give it to me! 572 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:24,438 - Just fuck off, you fucking... - Let go! Give it to me! 573 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,994 Oh, my God. 574 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,760 How old was he? 575 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:30,710 - 18! - 15! 576 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,354 My nephew's 15, you cunt! 577 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,550 Stop it! Stop it! Jesus! 578 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:36,600 Stop! 579 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,438 - You little fucks! - Henry? You're fucking useless. 580 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,876 Look. 581 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:45,955 OK. 582 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,752 We can sort this out. 583 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,679 If you just give me the fucking phone. 584 00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:57,110 - Let go of me! I'm serious! - I'm gonna fucking kill you, sir! 585 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,469 I'm not joining in with this. 586 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,715 - It's too weird. - Dean. 587 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:02,749 - Kill him. - Just leave us alone. 588 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,597 - Get him off me, Dean! Listen to me! - Go back to your room! 589 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,198 - Get him off me! - I mean, that was a good laugh yesterday, 590 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:08,196 but, I'm sorry, Mr Best, you're way too old. 591 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:10,874 I think you'd better use your safe word. 592 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,592 Dean, this is serious! Dean! 593 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,279 Dean, you motherfucking dunce! He's attacking me! 594 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,834 This is assault! 595 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,313 So, that's Dean? 596 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,194 - Fucking idiot. - I can see that. 597 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,038 Well, I don't suppose you're going to get it, are you? 598 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,274 - Look, Dean, seriously! - Dean! 599 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,756 - Listen to me! For fuck's sake! - Dean! 600 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,473 Listen. Whoever that is, they're gonna get you, OK? 601 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,798 Well, whoever that is, I will break their fucking necks. 602 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:42,516 And then I'll stamp you two into the ground until I get that fucking phone! 603 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,473 It's for you. 604 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,271 Fuck! 605 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,078 OK. 606 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,759 - Get him off me. - Who's he? The man from IT? 607 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,280 This man attacked the two of us! Please, Lance! Get him off me! 608 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,029 - That's Lance? - Freddie, nice to meet you at last. 609 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,640 What have I interrupted, then? Some sort of little game, is it? 610 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:26,720 Is this what goes on here? 611 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,069 - This man is a rapist! - No, he's not. 612 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,031 - I am not! - Well, I don't know what he is! 613 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,197 - But he's killing me! - Lance! Help me. Please. 614 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,073 No! No, no, no, no. Thank you, mate. 615 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,429 Just leave us alone. Thank you very much. You can go. Thank you. 616 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:40,833 Kick him! 617 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,949 - What? - Just kick him! 618 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,281 Yeah, yeah, just fucking kick him! Go on! Kick the fucker! 619 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,392 - Don't tell me what to do, Freddie. - Please, Lance! Just kick him! 620 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,634 You fucking dare! 621 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,992 Do you know, I've had one fuck of a day? 622 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,429 To be honest, just lately, it's been one fuck of a life. 623 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:59,109 And, yes, if you were to ask me what I would love to do right now, 624 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,912 I would love... I would absolutely love... 625 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,350 Oh, my God, I would love to kick the shit out of someone. 626 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:05,389 - Kick him! Kick him! - I'll break his neck! 627 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,192 - Just do it! Kick him! - Both of them! 628 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,360 Frankly, there is no-one on this earth 629 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,119 more deserving of a good kicking than you, Henry. 630 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,673 Not me! Don't kick me! 631 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:19,599 And then there's Freddie, date of birth 1990. 632 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,200 God, I'd love to kick your arse, Freddie Baxter. 633 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,879 - What the fuck have I done? - And that's my problem. 634 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,436 If I'm to play this little game of yours, who do I kick? 635 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,040 - Not me! Not me! - Kick him! Kick him! 636 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:33,991 No! 637 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:01,479 I saw these boys today. They were so fearless. 638 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,715 I was scared, when I was a kid. 639 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,390 If a man appeared on the TV, I was so scared of anyone knowing. 640 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:16,350 But the result of that was... I was scared of the man. 641 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:19,878 All my life... 642 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,668 ...I've been scared of the man. 643 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,199 Send it. 644 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,997 Oh, you little fucking... 645 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,838 What's that for? 646 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:22,512 I'd better head off. 647 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,036 There's this bloke at work. I think he's interested. 648 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:37,437 - I might give it a go. - You don't need to tell me. 649 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,357 Yes, I do. 650 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,360 Well, I hope he's nice. 651 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:45,829 Thanks. 652 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,314 And I really did pay for that computer. 653 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,154 And... 654 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,278 ...sorry. 655 00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,638 You know. 656 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:02,560 That's OK. 657 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,113 We're mad. 658 00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,958 We're all fucking mad. 659 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,959 Well, Violet, thanks for asking. 660 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,480 It's from you. 661 00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,471 His name's Hamish. 662 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,114 Scottish, obviously. 663 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,035 He's 33. I thought that was a good age. 664 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,116 Not too old, not too... young. 665 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,113 He works in a pharmacy. He likes... 666 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,588 I dunno, music. 667 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,959 You can ask him yourself. 668 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,198 You're meeting him eight o'clock, Saturday night, in Via on Canal Street. 669 00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:22,356 I used your photo. I got you a date. 670 00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:28,114 Good luck. 671 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,119 Oh. 672 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,435 And he's a top. Is that OK? 673 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,160 Yeah.