1
00:00:03,628 --> 00:00:06,922
Hey, so this isn't
matching up with this

2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,465
and I'm not sure
which one is right

3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,175
Can you just hunt down
the original for me?

4
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,760
Yes, me do

5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,512
All right

6
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,519
Hey, KevKev,
what were you saying before
about the paperwork?

7
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,440
Me do it now.
Go. Stop worry

8
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,859
Kevin, do you feel okay?

9
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:30,863
Me feel good. Body strong
Sleep big last night

10
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,364
Yeah,
I think we should get him
to the hospital.

11
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,824
Yeah, all right, Kev
why don't you come with us?

12
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,534
No, he's fine.
- No, no, guys
He's fine.

13
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,702
He's always
been like that

14
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:37,828
No, he hasn't

15
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,581
I mean, he's gotten worse
over the years, but

16
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:41,915
He's making a statement

17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,168
It's an ironic comment
on our expectations of him

18
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,671
A funhouse image of
our model of Kevin.

19
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,465
You keep think that

20
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:52,176
Me mechanic
not speak English

21
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,637
but he know
what me mean when
me say, "Car no go.'

22
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,222
And we best friends

23
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:02,144
So me think
why waste time say lot word
when few word do trick.

24
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,773
Kevin, I appreciate
what you're trying to do

25
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:06,899
Thank

26
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,069
Here we have
a word code

27
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,570
Same way we have
a dress code.

28
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,198
And what we're
talking about is

29
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:19,161
basically
the speech equivalent
to just wearing underpants

30
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:24,208
Sometimes words
you no need use

31
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,878
but need need
for talk talk.

32
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,923
But save time.
More success

33
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,884
Does it save time, though?
Because we've been
here for about an hour

34
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,219
No me fault

35
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:40,140
Kevin, at most you're saving
a microscopic amount of time

36
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,144
Many small time
make big time.

37
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,313
What are you going to
do with all this time?

38
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,065
See world

39
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,776
Kevin, you can't possibly
save enough time
to see the world

40
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,446
Kevin, are you
saying "see the world'
or SeaWorld?

41
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:59,618
See world
Oceans. Fish
Jump. China.

42
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:02,996
No, see? Right there
that's the problem
with your method

43
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:06,083
because I still don't know
if you're saying
SeaWorld or <<see the world.'

44
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,709
And it's taking a lot
of time to explain it

45
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,672
Fine,
fine, I'll talk normally

46
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,717
When me president
they see

47
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,762
They see

48
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:57,217
This week we are rolling out
the brand new Sabre tablet,
the Pyramid.

49
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,052
Why is it
shaped like that?

50
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,598
So you can tell your clients
"Unleash the power
of the pyramid

51
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,725
It's huge
How much does it weigh?

52
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,518
Oh, no, no, no
Without the battery pack

53
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,896
and the optional
memory booster,
it's barely 3 pounds

54
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,564
How much memory
does it have
without the booster?

55
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,773
Fifty L

56
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,358
I'm sorry, "L"?
- Mmm-hmm

57
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,693
How many I to a K?

58
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,111
DWIGHT
You're really going to
want the booster.

59
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,237
How on earth are
we supposed to sell

60
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,363
I'll take five

61
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,866
Andy, don't make us
sell this stupid thing

62
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,451
Oh, no, no, no, no, no
This is Dwight's meeting

63
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,494
Thank you. The
I just wanted to pop in

64
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,122
and get your opinions
on ties and tie clips.

65
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,208
Which combo do you think
Robert's going to like more?

66
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,459
What do you think, C-Span?

67
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,213
"C-Span"?

68
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,381
Yeah, C-Span.
Cocker spaniel

69
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,967
Spaniel because of
your Spanish bloodline
Cocker because

70
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,765
Is this really the best use
of our collective time?

71
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,726
I am still forming
a first impression
with Robert

72
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,229
Once it is formed
we can all relax, okay?

73
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,649
I'm sorry to
hijack your meeting,
D-Dub-Dog, had to pull rank

74
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,446
Okay, let's look
at some ties.

75
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,157
Here's how I'm
going to help out
from now on.

76
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,784
I'm going to not care

77
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,661
And I'm going to
sit around quietly

78
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,996
waiting for Andy's
inevitable demise

79
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,457
Your friend
Neil Patrick Harris

80
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,251
really made me laugh
the other night.

81
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,002
D Dog, you have a message

82
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,837
Erin, you don't
need to call him that

83
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,923
Andy wants us to, P Dog

84
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,675
It's okay, E Dog
Who called?

85
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,510
Justine. She said
she's coming by later

86
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,303
Your ex-wife?

87
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,763
Wait, I thought
she was a *

88
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,556
and you *
hated her guts

89
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,643
No, no, no, I like her

90
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,603
Well, I was just
quoting you

91
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,855
I would never
say that about her.
I don't know the woman

92
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,734
No, man.
We get along now
real well

93
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,611
All right
Can't wait to meet her

94
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,196
I'll introduce you

95
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,490
Yeah, we had a few fights
I suppose

96
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:46,159
but last night we put
a lot of that to bed.

97
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,538
I can't tell you
what I did with my
ex-wife last night

98
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,999
I have to sing it

99
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,959
We took a shower

100
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,836
We were naked

101
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,337
We...

102
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:08,974
Oh

103
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,436
Hi, Dad. l
Oh, boy.

104
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,064
Hello, Andy
Excellent tie

105
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,234
Would you be requiring
a cold beverage
while you're here?

106
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,986
I'd love some coffee

107
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:25,615
I was looking
over your projections and
I think we can do better

108
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:31,288
Are you factoring in
the whole national economy
declining and all that?

109
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,165
Andy, do you know
why I chose you?

110
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,417
I think I can sum it up
with what I think

111
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,627
is your favorite
ice cream flavor

112
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,755
Vanilla?

113
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:40,964
Vanilla? No

114
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,885
You'll never guess in
a million billion years
you'll never guess

115
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:49,139
You were saying you chose me
There was a reason

116
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,519
Andy, can you inspire?
Do you have that skill set?

117
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,608
Can I inspire?
I don't know

118
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,611
I don't know

119
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,280
Oh, thank you

120
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,365
Oh, sorry

121
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,991
Yeah, just put it down

122
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,586
Mmm

123
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,839
That is very cold

124
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,716
Yeah, it's old

125
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,260
Why would l

126
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,345
I asked if you
wanted a cold beverage

127
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,638
and you said coffee

128
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:34,017
Why don't we get Robert
a nice, hot, fresh cup
and I will have this.

129
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,435
Andy, you don't
want that.

130
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,979
I've been craving
a freezing cup of
old coffee.

131
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,231
Mmm

132
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,440
Sorry

133
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:43,860
You like her

134
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,614
I do. Yeah

135
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,990
She likes you

136
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,952
You know, we've both
been into each other
at different times

137
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,703
and just never
really synced up

138
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,831
Now we're in
this weird dance
and now we're...

139
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,707
I'm afraid you've
lost my interest

140
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,586
Let me call you back

141
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,754
I got to go

142
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,386
If the office superstore
was supposed to

143
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,763
put us little suppliers
out of business

144
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,348
why are we still here?

145
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,103
Yeah
This is where we go.

146
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,189
You'd go someplace else
That's not it
That's not the answer.

147
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,358
It's a answer.
It's a wrong answer

148
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,818
There are no wrong answers

149
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,570
Take a look
at where you are

150
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:32,367
Where you once worked
in a dying industry,
you now work at its birth

151
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:37,372
Those superstores
are terrified of us.

152
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,124
Anybody know why?

153
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,627
Wait, they're terrified?

154
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,547
Let me tell you
how I buy something
these days

155
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,467
I know what I want,
I go on the Internet
and get the best price

156
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:54,139
Or I don't know what I want
and I go to a small store
that can help me

157
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:58,560
The era of
personal service is back
You are back.

158
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,481
You'll find that
customers will pay
our higher prices

159
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,107
and then they w
thank us

160
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,194
and we will say to them
"You are welcome."

161
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:13,658
Thank you

162
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:14,910
Ooh

163
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,831
Andrew,
I chose you for a reason
Lead these people.

164
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,834
Show me the best numbers
this place has ever seen.

165
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,379
Last quarter we saw
4% growth. Double it

166
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:27,923
You got it
Double.

167
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,007
Done
I'm not kidding.

168
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,258
Neither am l
It's already done

169
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:32,969
I'm just kidding

170
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,679
It's going to
take some time.
Double

171
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:42,938
Hey

172
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,743
What's up, guys?

173
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,663
Just thought we'd have
a little rap session.

174
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,624
Talk about business.
See how things are going

175
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,420
Why don't you start?

176
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,880
If no one else wants to

177
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,801
I was just
thinking about Robert
Man, what a boss.

178
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,596
Just throws down goals
you know?

179
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,182
Anyway, how's the sales
doubling project going?

180
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,600
Yeah, how are we
supposed to do that?

181
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,394
We can't just
press a magic button

182
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,771
Of course not.
There's no magic button

183
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:28,066
You have to summon that

184
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:31,069
If we could just
double our sales,
we already would have

185
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:32,571
You're not
making any sense

186
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,155
He brings up
two good points

187
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,993
Do you have any new leads?
And new territories
you want us to look into?

188
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,995
Maybe have an in
with a big client

189
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,663
that we could get
our foot in the door?

190
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:43,748
Dwight, anything?

191
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,793
We could talk about
how fast children grow up

192
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,670
and before you know it
they're out of the house

193
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:52,215
You know what?
We need to get our
heads out of the box

194
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,050
If we did have something

195
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,637
what would it look like?
What would it be?

196
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,805
Tuna

197
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,932
New leads,
new territory to
look into

198
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,350
maybe an in with
a big company

199
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,894
that we could get
our foot in the door

200
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,647
Fart

201
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,026
Good sesh

202
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,862
That leg's asleep

203
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:18,825
Hello

204
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,328
I'm looking for
Darryl Philbin?

205
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,537
Don't

206
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,747
Oh

207
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,166
You must think...
No, I'm not
I'm using the fax

208
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,709
This isn't
No, wait.

209
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,462
I'm not supposed
to represent
the company, right?

210
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,005
There's usually
an Erin here, so

211
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,214
Okay

212
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,675
Darryl, a girl

213
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,598
Rub a dub, dub, apricot scrub

214
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:42,766
What's up, darling?

215
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,643
Everybody
this is Justine

216
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,978
Hi, Justine
- Hello.

217
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,814
This is Jim, Oscar

218
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,857
Hi

219
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,942
Everybody

220
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,444
Kevin

221
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,158
Can we go
someplace private?

222
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,910
Follow me.
I got a space

223
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,581
After you
I've been thinking
about you all morning

224
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,376
I don't know what you did
I can barely walk today.

225
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,257
D Bone, there you are

226
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,177
Let me guess
Somebody needs a brownie

227
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,261
Lick the spoon?

228
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,388
No. No. That's okay

229
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,057
I just,
I wanted to ask you about

230
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,517
Is this about
the profits?

231
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,853
Because if it is,
I just don't see the point
It's so Wall Street.

232
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:32,107
I know, right? Yeah

233
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,317
Um

234
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,778
How is everything?

235
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,155
Good.
Really, really good

236
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,241
Must be a tough time
to be a family farm.

237
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,285
It is
And beets are
not immune

238
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,872
I made some inroads in salad
but heirloom tomatoes are
pushing back.

239
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,458
What are you going to
do about that?

240
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,794
I don't know,
what do you mean?

241
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,921
Got to be some way
you could double
your beet sales

242
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:57,966
You wanted the job
the job is yours,
just do the job.

243
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,886
And I'll do mine

244
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,140
Walnuts?

245
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:06,975
No

246
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,023
Have you seen this?

247
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,191
Parenting? Yeah.

248
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,609
This is Cece's
favorite magazine

249
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,319
She loves
the pictures of babies

250
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,613
She looks at it
when she's on the potty
and she makes the faces

251
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,115
Have you read it?

252
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,702
Has an adult
member of your family
read this particular issue?

253
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,954
I flipped through it

254
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,290
So you saw the article
on the importance of

255
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,584
taking frequent walks
while you're pregnant?

256
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,377
Of course, yeah.
- We know that

257
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,880
I will be taking
a morning walk and
an afternoon walk.

258
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,673
Would you like to
join me?

259
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,758
That sounds nice

260
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,842
Great

261
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,845
You have a walking buddy

262
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,555
I do

263
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,599
Thanks for
coming in, guys

264
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:50,143
You don't have to
thank us for coming in
It's our job

265
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,729
Well, I never got thanked
for coming into a meeting

266
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,856
and I always wanted
to be, so I<m going
to thank people.

267
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,816
What's under the blanket?

268
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,527
This is what's
under the blanket

269
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,030
We don't get it

270
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:05,909
These are incentives.
It's how we're
going to double growth

271
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,662
Now, you're probably
all asking yourselves
"Well, how does this work?'

272
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,500
It seems like
a basic reward system
where you give us points

273
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,877
and then we redeem
those points for prizes

274
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,962
You're exactly right
and you get a point

275
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,173
Oh.
Uh, is that a vibrator?

276
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,716
20 points

277
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,884
How does one get a point?

278
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,511
I've outlined
the exact parameters

279
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,137
in an email
so check your spam folders

280
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,724
But basically, you
do your job better
you get points.

281
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:34,145
So collect 15 points
and redeem them
for this polar bear.

282
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,440
Why is it all kids' stuff
and a vibrator?
It's so gross.

283
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,400
There's lots of stuff

284
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,070
John Irving,
collected works
22 points.

285
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:48,409
Or you can pool your points
and redeem 55 for
this maternity shirt. Ahem

286
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,745
How about you want
us to work harder,
pay us more.

287
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,830
I can't

288
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,373
This points system
is really insulting.

289
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,624
Ooh

290
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:57,710
I didn't mean to offend you
and I hope you'll forgive me

291
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,297
because I am very
very "sari."
16 points

292
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,549
That's a tablecloth

293
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,342
What if we went
all the way up to
500 points?

294
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:05,844
That's a crazy
amount of points

295
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,887
But what if?
Well, what do you want?

296
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,181
I don't know.
For such a crazy number

297
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,641
I'd like
something pretty crazy

298
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:14,978
All right, for 500 points,
I will wear a dress to work

299
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,441
That's pretty good
What about
for 1,000 points?

300
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,527
I'll run naked
through the parking lot

301
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,028
with a donut
on my ding dong

302
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,531
Yeah, you like that?

303
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,950
All right
for 5,000 points

304
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,786
I will let you
tattoo whatever you want

305
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,622
on the stern of
the old S.S. Bernard

306
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,374
No
Really?

307
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,376
All right. All right
And you are
totally serious?

308
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,962
Swear to God. Hope to die
Now let's get to work.

309
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,798
Wait, but you did say
we can pool our points
right?

310
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,633
In that case

311
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,343
let's get to work, guys
- Yeah!

312
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,888
Let's do it, guys

313
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,139
Good

314
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,976
I can have it to you
by the beginning
of next week.

315
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,352
All right
thank you very much

316
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,230
Phyllis, Brachen Auto?

317
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,065
Ask for Donald.
Karen's bananas

318
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,317
Okay

319
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,527
T-Bag-Bone

320
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:05,737
Andrew

321
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,488
DWIGHT
Hold on, one second

322
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:11,075
Have you noticed a little
bit of a mood shift
around here?

323
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,244
No. I haven't
noticed anything

324
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:18,917
Really? Because I sat
next to Stanley for years
and this is nap time.

325
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,085
Open eye nap time.
He balances the phone
on his shoulder

326
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,170
and just powers down

327
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,254
Now look at him

328
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,466
You've got to unleash
the power of the pyramid

329
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,468
I don't know what
to tell you, man

330
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,221
Do you think it has
something to do with
that incentive program?

331
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,182
Oh, 100%
We all want to see
you tattoo your ass

332
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,516
Uh.

333
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,102
I think people
thought I was kidding
when I said that.

334
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,437
No. You definitely
weren't kidding.

335
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,064
That came across
loud and clear.

336
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,732
Oh, by the way,
I want to hand this in

337
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:43,942
120 points?

338
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,193
Yeah. Big sale

339
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,154
Don't worry about it, though
I don't really
care about the points

340
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,906
I would like
a point receipt though

341
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,283
Hey, yes
this is Jim Halpert
calling for Donald.

342
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,494
Can you hold on
for one second?
Thank you very much

343
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,246
Who talked to
Maggie at Kaufman's?

344
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,963
And I'm back
How are you, sir?

345
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,050
I think you can squeeze
a couple more
golf games in, right?

346
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,053
Where's Angela?
Angela, these are yours

347
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:16,808
Hey, Kevin,
what are you doing?

348
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,059
Don't talk to me

349
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,234
Yeah

350
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,071
Hi. Professor Frank
Andy Bernard, class of '95

351
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:35,451
Hey there, I'm a huge fan
of your management book
Management.

352
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,830
Uh, quick question
I may be missing
a chapter here:

353
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,666
"De-incentivizing."
What are your strategies?

354
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,418
I'm looking for
a real blow to morale

355
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,586
Uh, why?

356
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,672
Well, um

357
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,674
I guess you could say
I'm in one of those

358
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,552
classic ass-tattoo-incentive
situations.

359
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,106
Took 'em one day

360
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,858
Are you ready?

361
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,113
I like it. I like it

362
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:18,619
Okay, keep in mind,
it's not too late to
choose another prize

363
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,706
and there are some
great new additions

364
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,792
My car.
For 1,000 points

365
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:26,294
Or best offer

366
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,378
What else you got?

367
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,338
Oh, and then this
was Phyllis' idea.

368
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,631
Oh
Oh!

369
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,426
So nasty, Phyllis

370
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,635
Oh, my God

371
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,684
We were hoping
you could do
something like this

372
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:43,895
So coming out of
his butt is a

373
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:44,937
Baby

374
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,647
Baby.
Yes

375
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,274
Yeah. No problem

376
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:53,237
We should think about this
Does anyone have
any better ideas?

377
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,864
I like what we have

378
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,491
Yeah, nice try

379
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,076
It's pretty edgy

380
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,122
I just need
a second outside

381
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,007
You getting psyched up?
Yeah.

382
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,051
Andy,
nobody really expects you
to go through with this.

383
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,845
Toons, what am I
doing here?

384
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,390
Why did Robert pick me?

385
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:24,644
Confession,
I don't know
what I'm doing

386
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,813
I mean
do you like it?

387
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,898
You having fun?

388
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,944
I'll tell you this
everybody else is
having a lot of fun

389
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,154
And you did that

390
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,574
My ass is only so big.
I mean
I can't do this every day

391
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,284
But I think it's
big enough to buy
you some time

392
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,953
until your next
great idea.

393
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,580
Which, by the way
I can't wait for

394
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,461
No one expects me
to go through
with this, right?

395
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,879
Absolutely not

396
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,845
Let's ink my stink

397
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,305
Yeah

398
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:06,352
My heart belongs to music
but my ass
belongs to these people

399
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,313
Whoa

400
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,692
Do your worst

401
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,196
Uh, you can keep your
pants on actually

402
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,574
If you just drop
them down a bit
that'd be great.

403
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,159
They are already off
my good sir.

404
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,077
I'd really prefer
they not be down

405
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,664
Well, I think down's better
Sweating pretty
heavily down there

406
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,546
Do you think you
could work from this?

407
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,006
We made some
small adjustments

408
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,132
Okay, you want me to

409
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,508
Just those
few adjustments
Yeah.

410
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,052
All right.
Let's begin

411
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,888
This is where l
grin and bear
Ow, ow!

412
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,014
That was just
a cotton swab

413
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,183
Invest in
softer cotton, sir

414
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,272
Ow

415
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,611
Oh

416
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,281
Obviously you can go
the ass tattoo route

417
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,783
and obviously I'm
going to like it.

418
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,036
Draw some blood
Ha-ha!

419
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,714
Why did I choose
Andy to run the office?

420
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:21,636
Because he's all surface,
uncomplicated.
What you see is what you get.

421
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:25,223
It could be a recipe
for mediocrity, yes.

422
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,808
But then again,
it might just be why
people fight for him.

423
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,897
It's a Nard dog

424
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,150
That's my nickity name

425
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:38,986
I love it. I love it

426
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,321
Pull up your pants

427
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,699
There's something
about an underdog

428
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,994
that really
inspires the unexceptional

429
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,625
Um, what should we
talk about?

430
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:56,087
Well, we could talk
about an ethical dilemma
I'm having.

431
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,673
Oh, yeah, sure
I hope I can help

432
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,926
A coworker of mine
is drinking caffeine
while pregnant

433
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,762
and I don't know
if I should call
social services about it

434
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,514
Angela, that's
pretty transparently me

435
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,182
Maybe

436
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,559
You know
it's just herbal tea

437
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,062
In mugs with trace
amounts of coffee

438
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,524
Yeah. I think you
should call social services

439
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,650
I already did

440
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,113
You know, maybe we
should just have
our own pregnancies

441
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,490
and not pretend like
we're in this together

442
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,701
Fine