59
00:00:02,927 --> 00:00:03,919
Morning.
60
00:00:04,497 --> 00:00:05,697
Morning.
61
00:00:05,722 --> 00:00:06,622
(exhales)
62
00:00:06,657 --> 00:00:08,692
- Sleep okay?
- Um uh. Great!
63
00:00:11,117 --> 00:00:12,690
Hey, can I ask you something?
64
00:00:12,715 --> 00:00:13,915
Sure.
65
00:00:14,134 --> 00:00:16,875
Last night, me wanting to try
that stuff out of the Kama Sutra.
66
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:19,845
Was that fun for you
or kinda racially insensitive?
67
00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:23,637
Yes. Just because you're in bed
with an India woman
68
00:00:23,662 --> 00:00:25,110
you think that gives you permission
69
00:00:25,135 --> 00:00:28,229
to use crazy positions
from an ancient Indian love manual?
70
00:00:28,873 --> 00:00:31,871
Hey, if you can find a book
called "Weird Sex with White Boys"
71
00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:33,150
I'd be okay with that.
72
00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:34,375
(laughing)
73
00:00:35,607 --> 00:00:38,356
No, no, you know you have such
beautiful eyes.
74
00:00:39,226 --> 00:00:40,582
Have you ever thought about
getting contacts?
75
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,488
I tried in the seventh grade.
I could never get used to them.
76
00:00:43,513 --> 00:00:44,713
Oh. That's too bad.
77
00:00:44,738 --> 00:00:47,442
Yeah. If I had contacts,
I would have been the coolest
78
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:50,475
Debate Club president ever to be
stuffed into his own cello case.
79
00:00:52,733 --> 00:00:56,452
If you had them on now, you could
see what we're going to do next.
80
00:00:59,822 --> 00:01:01,928
That-That's okay.
I can infer from context.
81
00:01:05,154 --> 00:01:07,103
Hey, Raj, you wanna see a new
magic trick I been working on?
82
00:01:07,128 --> 00:01:08,328
Eh, Howard.
83
00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:11,421
If I may interject here
with a piece of friendly advice.
84
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:15,260
Is working on magic tricks, really
how you want to spend your time?
85
00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:19,068
Uh, granted,
you're just an engineer, but...
86
00:01:20,034 --> 00:01:23,546
that doesn't mean you might
not someday build a geegaw
87
00:01:23,571 --> 00:01:24,771
or a thingamabob that
88
00:01:24,796 --> 00:01:29,348
that may get you a "thank you" in someone
else's Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
89
00:01:34,164 --> 00:01:36,208
Is the trick making him disappear?
90
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:39,863
Sure, let's see it.
91
00:01:40,983 --> 00:01:42,764
Here.
Shuffle these.
92
00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:43,989
Okay.
93
00:01:45,229 --> 00:01:47,019
Now spread them out on the table.
Face down.
94
00:01:47,645 --> 00:01:49,013
Pick one.
Look at it.
95
00:01:49,038 --> 00:01:50,238
Okay.
96
00:01:50,263 --> 00:01:52,231
Now remember your card.
Put it back in the deck.
97
00:01:52,256 --> 00:01:54,161
Is it any wonder
he doesn't have a doctorate?
98
00:01:56,385 --> 00:01:58,111
Now remind me,
what's your birthday?
99
00:01:58,136 --> 00:01:59,336
October sixth.
100
00:01:59,909 --> 00:02:02,781
Okay, October is the tenth month.
101
00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:07,342
So 10-- one plus zero
is one plus six is seven.
102
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:08,567
Turn over the seventh card.
103
00:02:12,469 --> 00:02:13,421
How about that!
104
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:14,646
But, is that your card?
105
00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:16,150
Yes. It is.
Very cool!
106
00:02:18,269 --> 00:02:19,869
Oh it's not cool.
107
00:02:19,902 --> 00:02:24,766
It's a childish trick, designed
to confuse and intrigue simpletons.
108
00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:26,980
How'd you do it?
109
00:02:27,826 --> 00:02:30,037
A magician never reveals his secrets.
110
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,882
But surely a future
Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.
111
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:36,329
Fine.
112
00:02:36,354 --> 00:02:37,554
Give me a second.
113
00:02:41,271 --> 00:02:44,595
You ever notice when he thinks
real hard it smells like bacon?
114
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:49,634
- Oh hey!
- Sorry! Oop!
115
00:02:49,659 --> 00:02:51,659
Sorry! Pardon me!
(screams)
116
00:02:51,684 --> 00:02:53,084
Oh, I'm so sorry!
117
00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:54,309
Oh, that was my fault.
118
00:02:57,904 --> 00:03:00,494
Check it out.
I just got contacts.
119
00:03:03,988 --> 00:03:07,607
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
120
00:03:07,608 --> 00:03:10,943
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
121
00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:12,578
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
122
00:03:12,579 --> 00:03:15,114
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
123
00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:17,800
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
124
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:20,436
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
125
00:03:20,437 --> 00:03:22,372
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
126
00:03:22,373 --> 00:03:23,352
♪ Bang! ♪
127
00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:26,865
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x18 ♪
The Prestidigitation Approximation
Original Air Date on March 10, 2011
128
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:29,890
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
129
00:03:29,893 --> 00:03:31,678
One, two,
130
00:03:31,748 --> 00:03:34,216
three, four, five.
131
00:03:34,217 --> 00:03:35,067
No way.
132
00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:36,051
That's your card, right?
133
00:03:36,052 --> 00:03:37,552
Seven of clubs!
134
00:03:37,553 --> 00:03:38,920
That is amazing!
135
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:42,257
It's not amazing.
136
00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:45,894
All magic tricks are merely
a combination
137
00:03:45,895 --> 00:03:47,596
of manipulation
and misdirection
138
00:03:47,597 --> 00:03:52,233
with the occasional dwarf in
a box wiggling his feet.
139
00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:55,203
Oh, really?
So how did I do it?
140
00:03:55,204 --> 00:03:56,805
I don't care how you did it.
141
00:03:56,806 --> 00:04:00,575
I have more important things
to think about.
142
00:04:04,213 --> 00:04:07,449
Clearly, the cards
are marked.
143
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,818
I thought you had more important
things to think about.
144
00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:11,586
I do.
You just happened
145
00:04:11,587 --> 00:04:13,488
to have caught me
on a break.
146
00:04:14,924 --> 00:04:18,226
Oh, let me see
those cards.
147
00:04:18,227 --> 00:04:19,561
Big deal. Not knowing
148
00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:21,096
is part of the fun.
149
00:04:21,097 --> 00:04:22,964
"Not knowing is part
of the fun."
150
00:04:22,965 --> 00:04:24,933
Was that the motto
of your community college?
151
00:04:27,036 --> 00:04:29,404
Hey, guys,
what do you think?
152
00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:30,872
Priya took me
clothes shopping.
153
00:04:30,873 --> 00:04:32,090
Hey, you look great.
154
00:04:32,091 --> 00:04:33,241
Good for you, Priya.
155
00:04:33,242 --> 00:04:35,210
I could never get that stupid
hoodie off him
156
00:04:35,211 --> 00:04:36,178
when we were...
157
00:04:36,179 --> 00:04:37,312
Well, you look great.
158
00:04:37,313 --> 00:04:38,747
Thank you.
159
00:04:38,748 --> 00:04:40,382
Lets go hang
everything up.
160
00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:41,800
Yeah, good.
161
00:04:43,553 --> 00:04:45,086
New contacts.
162
00:04:45,087 --> 00:04:47,422
I should have done this
years ago.
163
00:04:49,659 --> 00:04:52,961
So you finally getting used to
them doing it on a daily basis?
164
00:04:52,962 --> 00:04:54,096
I'm not going out with him.
165
00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:55,564
He can sleep
with whoever he wants.
166
00:04:55,565 --> 00:04:58,300
Yeah, I was talking to Raj.
167
00:05:02,739 --> 00:05:04,840
Oopsy.
168
00:05:04,841 --> 00:05:06,375
This deck is rigged in
some fashion.
169
00:05:06,376 --> 00:05:07,342
Fine. Get another deck
170
00:05:07,343 --> 00:05:08,677
and I'll do
the trick with that.
171
00:05:08,678 --> 00:05:10,278
So you're saying this is
a regulation deck?
172
00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:13,181
I'm saying believe in magic,
you muggle.
173
00:05:16,719 --> 00:05:19,654
You know, well, I'm happy
Leonard's found someone.
174
00:05:21,824 --> 00:05:24,226
Not that anybody asked.
175
00:05:28,831 --> 00:05:31,433
How many Star Trek uniforms
do you have?
176
00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:33,819
Just two:
177
00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:36,304
everyday and dress.
178
00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:37,972
Uh-huh.
179
00:05:37,973 --> 00:05:41,142
Listen, we need
to talk about something.
180
00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:43,278
Oh, my God, you're breaking up
with me!
181
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,547
Why would you take me out
shopping
182
00:05:45,548 --> 00:05:47,983
and then break up with me?
That is so cruel!
183
00:05:47,984 --> 00:05:50,886
Leonard, I'm not breaking up
with you.
184
00:05:50,887 --> 00:05:52,838
Oh, okay.
185
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,677
So, what's up?
186
00:05:58,678 --> 00:06:00,996
It's a little weird,
187
00:06:00,997 --> 00:06:04,165
your ex-girlfriend hanging out
here all the time.
188
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,267
I know.
189
00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:06,835
I usually never see
my ex-girlfriends,
190
00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,271
unless their hard drives crash.
191
00:06:09,272 --> 00:06:13,742
I'm just saying, how would you
feel if I was hanging out
192
00:06:13,743 --> 00:06:15,110
with my ex-boyfriend?
193
00:06:15,111 --> 00:06:16,545
Um, not great, I guess.
194
00:06:16,546 --> 00:06:18,413
But Penny and I are
just friends.
195
00:06:18,414 --> 00:06:19,781
I don't care.
196
00:06:19,782 --> 00:06:21,650
This is a woman you have
slept with.
197
00:06:21,651 --> 00:06:23,034
If you want her around,
198
00:06:23,035 --> 00:06:26,354
then I have to wonder if maybe
you're not ready to move on.
199
00:06:26,355 --> 00:06:28,073
No, no-no-no, I'm ready!
200
00:06:28,074 --> 00:06:30,592
I gave up the gift of
sight for you.
201
00:06:30,593 --> 00:06:32,227
If that's not moving on,
what is?
202
00:06:32,228 --> 00:06:35,497
You need to cut the cord
with Penny.
203
00:06:35,498 --> 00:06:37,866
Oh... okay.
204
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:40,201
You don't sound very confident.
205
00:06:40,202 --> 00:06:41,803
No, no, I'm confident.
206
00:06:41,804 --> 00:06:44,239
Its not like I'm unfamiliar with
the "get lost" conversation.
207
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,375
Although, this will be the first
time I'll be the one saying it.
208
00:06:47,376 --> 00:06:49,544
Thank you.
209
00:06:49,545 --> 00:06:50,879
I appreciate it.
210
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,147
Sure.
211
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,616
Oh, God, you
smell so good.
212
00:06:54,617 --> 00:06:56,651
Of course, that
could just be
213
00:06:56,652 --> 00:06:58,570
my other senses
getting stronger.
214
00:07:01,624 --> 00:07:05,627
Hypothetically, if I had access
215
00:07:05,628 --> 00:07:10,232
to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform,
would you wear it?
216
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,467
Leonard, it is a source
of great pain
217
00:07:12,468 --> 00:07:13,602
to me and my family
218
00:07:13,603 --> 00:07:15,770
that my brother has that outfit
in his wardrobe.
219
00:07:15,771 --> 00:07:17,272
Can we not discuss it?
220
00:07:17,273 --> 00:07:20,041
I'm sorry. Never mind.
221
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,981
And was your card the jack
of diamonds?
222
00:07:25,982 --> 00:07:30,385
Oh, unbelievable!
223
00:07:33,656 --> 00:07:35,056
Know how he did it yet?
224
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:41,596
Um...
225
00:07:41,597 --> 00:07:44,799
Aw, he has the same look
my little nephew gets
226
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,602
when he can't figure out
how I got his nose.
227
00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:53,208
You know, I have some remedial
magic tricks
228
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:54,976
that might be more your speed.
229
00:07:54,977 --> 00:07:56,411
Like, ooh, look!
230
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,748
The pencil's rubber!
231
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:04,219
Hey, I think I know how you did
the card trick.
232
00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,589
Oh, please, if I don't know,
you don't know.
233
00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:09,241
That's axiomatic.
234
00:08:09,242 --> 00:08:11,126
Come here.
235
00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:13,962
You're right.
236
00:08:15,731 --> 00:08:17,399
Not too bad for someone
237
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,935
who doesn't know
what "axiomatic" means.
238
00:08:27,009 --> 00:08:28,810
Oh, hi.
239
00:08:28,811 --> 00:08:30,144
Hey, you.
240
00:08:30,145 --> 00:08:31,646
What happened with
the contacts?
241
00:08:31,647 --> 00:08:32,914
One of them's upstairs.
242
00:08:32,915 --> 00:08:36,484
The other one sort of slipped
back into my skull.
243
00:08:36,485 --> 00:08:38,837
Hey, is that one of the new
shirts Priya got you?
244
00:08:38,838 --> 00:08:40,121
Yeah.
245
00:08:40,122 --> 00:08:41,756
You don't wanna
wash that.
246
00:08:41,757 --> 00:08:43,625
No?
No, that's silk.
247
00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,844
Seriously, what would you do
without me?
248
00:08:45,845 --> 00:08:47,729
Yeah. (chuckles)
249
00:08:49,599 --> 00:08:51,516
You know, I gotta
tell you, I think
250
00:08:51,517 --> 00:08:54,102
you got a real winner with Priya.
Yeah, me, too.
251
00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:55,470
She seems really sweet.
252
00:08:55,471 --> 00:08:57,639
Believe me, you do not want
to take that for granted.
253
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,408
There are a lot of bitches
out there.
254
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:04,813
Yeah, bitches are the worst.
255
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:06,681
All right, I'll
see you later.
256
00:09:06,682 --> 00:09:09,384
Uh, Penny, there's something
I have to tell you.
257
00:09:09,385 --> 00:09:10,518
What?
258
00:09:10,519 --> 00:09:13,288
Okay, uh, how do I put this?
259
00:09:13,289 --> 00:09:17,959
Um... are you familiar with
Darwin's observation
260
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,029
of the finches
in the Galapagos Islands?
261
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:23,331
Did they make a movie about it?
262
00:09:23,332 --> 00:09:25,033
No.
263
00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:26,968
Then no.
264
00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:30,772
All right, well, anyway, Darwin
observed that when two groups
265
00:09:30,773 --> 00:09:33,174
of finches competed
over the same food source,
266
00:09:33,175 --> 00:09:36,378
eventually one of them would
evolve a different beak shape
267
00:09:36,379 --> 00:09:39,047
so they could feed on
something else.
268
00:09:39,048 --> 00:09:41,650
Okay.
269
00:09:41,651 --> 00:09:44,919
So what do you think we can
learn from that behavior
270
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,355
that we can apply
to our own lives?
271
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:52,394
Uh, a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush?
272
00:09:54,196 --> 00:09:58,033
Sure, that has birds in it.
273
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:02,704
It's fun talking to you,
Leonard; I always learn stuff.
274
00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:08,576
I'm sorry,
but I'm gonna count that.
275
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:16,051
PRIYA: Do you really have
to wear that in bed?
276
00:10:19,155 --> 00:10:22,490
Yeah. The doctor didn't want me
to rub my eye during the night.
277
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:26,027
It was either this or one
of those giant neck cones.
278
00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:30,432
So did you get
to talk to Penny?
279
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:34,135
Oh, yes.
Indeed, I did.
280
00:10:34,136 --> 00:10:35,837
And?
281
00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:38,640
She completely understood
everything I said. Case closed.
282
00:10:38,641 --> 00:10:40,275
Was she upset?
283
00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:43,578
Maybe, but that's
not my problem.
284
00:10:43,579 --> 00:10:45,547
She's not my girlfriend,
you are.
285
00:10:45,548 --> 00:10:48,550
I hope you weren't
cruel to her.
286
00:10:48,551 --> 00:10:52,954
Is the autumn cruel
for letting the flowers die,
287
00:10:52,955 --> 00:10:55,857
or is that just nature's way?
288
00:10:57,727 --> 00:10:58,993
(knocking)
289
00:10:58,994 --> 00:11:00,829
SHELDON: Leonard?
(knocking) Leonard?
290
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:01,963
Leonard?
291
00:11:01,964 --> 00:11:03,465
What?!
292
00:11:03,466 --> 00:11:06,201
I think I figured out
Wolowitz's magic trick,
293
00:11:06,202 --> 00:11:09,370
and I need you
to pick a card.
294
00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:13,908
I am not opening
that door, Sheldon!
295
00:11:13,909 --> 00:11:15,243
As you wish.
296
00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:24,886
Pick a card, put it back,
and prepare to be amazed.
297
00:11:26,889 --> 00:11:28,890
Did you pick one?
298
00:11:28,891 --> 00:11:30,325
Yep.
299
00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:35,330
Is this your card?
300
00:11:35,331 --> 00:11:36,598
Nope.
301
00:11:36,599 --> 00:11:38,800
Drat.
302
00:11:39,935 --> 00:11:42,270
Is this your card?
303
00:11:42,271 --> 00:11:44,439
No.
304
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,508
I'll be right back.
305
00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:55,668
Pick a card, Sheldon.
306
00:11:57,271 --> 00:12:01,107
Now look at it,
and put it back in the deck.
307
00:12:03,144 --> 00:12:04,677
Now do you remember your card?
308
00:12:04,678 --> 00:12:06,780
Of course I do, I have
an eidetic memory.
309
00:12:06,781 --> 00:12:08,548
My apologies.
310
00:12:08,549 --> 00:12:11,017
Now shuffle the cards.
311
00:12:11,018 --> 00:12:13,520
Shuffling.
312
00:12:13,521 --> 00:12:15,255
Wait here.
313
00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:20,727
Processing image,
cross-referencing...
314
00:12:20,728 --> 00:12:22,495
Whatcha doin'?
315
00:12:22,496 --> 00:12:25,532
I'm reverse engineering
Wolowitz's magic trick.
316
00:12:25,533 --> 00:12:29,636
What's up
with the infrared cameras?
317
00:12:29,637 --> 00:12:32,138
I'm measuring residual heat
levels on the playing cards
318
00:12:32,139 --> 00:12:33,740
to determine
which one's been touched.
319
00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:35,609
By the way,
320
00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:37,010
if you hope to have children,
321
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:38,879
I suggest you switch
from briefs to boxers.
322
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,780
Your testicles look a tad warm.
323
00:12:48,656 --> 00:12:51,658
Holy crap,
are you connected
324
00:12:51,659 --> 00:12:53,827
to the Oak Ridge
National Laboratory?
325
00:12:53,828 --> 00:12:56,396
Yes. I'm using their
Cray supercomputer
326
00:12:56,397 --> 00:12:57,697
to analyze
shuffling patterns.
327
00:12:57,698 --> 00:13:00,634
Sheldon, that computer
is used
328
00:13:00,635 --> 00:13:01,902
for national defense.
329
00:13:01,903 --> 00:13:03,570
Hacking into it is
a federal crime.
330
00:13:03,571 --> 00:13:06,740
Relax, we're not under
attack right now.
331
00:13:06,741 --> 00:13:12,379
Okay, I'm leaving before the
black helicopters get here.
332
00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:17,117
And is this my card?
333
00:13:17,118 --> 00:13:19,552
Rats!
334
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:25,859
I wonder if Howard used
a radioactive tracer.
335
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:29,763
Where am I going to find
uranium-235 this time of night?
336
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,968
Come on, CraigsList.
337
00:13:39,106 --> 00:13:42,142
Is it racist that I took you
to an Indian restaurant?
338
00:13:42,143 --> 00:13:45,612
It's okay, I like Indian food.
339
00:13:45,613 --> 00:13:49,082
Or as you probably call it
back home, "food." (chuckles)
340
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:52,018
Why didn't you wear
your contacts?
341
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:53,320
Don't you like them?
342
00:13:53,321 --> 00:13:54,587
No, no, I do.
343
00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:56,656
It's just I knew I was having
curry tonight
344
00:13:56,657 --> 00:14:00,193
and I only want one part
of my body to burn at a time.
345
00:14:02,029 --> 00:14:04,164
You know... (clears throat)
346
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:07,067
...my company offered me a
position here in Los Angeles.
347
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:11,171
Does that mean you'd relocate
here permanently?
348
00:14:11,172 --> 00:14:13,707
Maybe. What do you think?
349
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:16,042
I love it.
350
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,011
That's great!
(knocking)
351
00:14:18,012 --> 00:14:21,147
Hi!
352
00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:24,651
Hi! Just hang on.
353
00:14:24,652 --> 00:14:27,787
(chuckles) Small world.
354
00:14:27,788 --> 00:14:28,955
You did talk to her, didn't you?
355
00:14:28,956 --> 00:14:31,558
Of course, I did.
I talked and talked and talked.
356
00:14:32,677 --> 00:14:36,662
Hey! Look at Leonard in his
fancy-ass grownup clothes.
357
00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:40,333
Way to go, Priya.
For once, he doesn't look
358
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:42,669
like a mannequin in
the boys' department.
359
00:14:44,138 --> 00:14:45,438
(chuckles)
Hey, did he
360
00:14:45,439 --> 00:14:47,207
tell you I saved
the silk shirt?
361
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:48,575
No, he did not.
362
00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:50,677
He was gonna throw it
in the washing machine
363
00:14:50,678 --> 00:14:53,380
with his
Spiderman underwear.
364
00:14:53,381 --> 00:14:55,148
That's our Lenny, huh?
(laughs)
365
00:14:55,149 --> 00:14:58,118
Yes, that's our Lenny.
366
00:14:58,119 --> 00:15:00,370
So how's
the food here?
367
00:15:00,371 --> 00:15:03,239
Oh, wow, that is
really, really good.
368
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,241
Oh, I'm sorry.
You guys are on a date.
369
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,160
We can hang out
anytime. Have fun.
370
00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,495
Bye.
Good night.
371
00:15:09,914 --> 00:15:11,831
Oh, that's, hot, hot, hot, hot!
372
00:15:14,201 --> 00:15:16,920
Whoo! It really
sneaks up on ya, huh?
373
00:15:16,921 --> 00:15:18,338
All right, I gotta go.
374
00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:25,779
It is pretty spicy.
375
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:30,350
Oh, I've been meaning
to tell you,
376
00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:32,619
I figured out
your magic trick.
377
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,421
Really?
378
00:15:34,422 --> 00:15:35,622
Oh, yes.
379
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:38,091
In fact, I improved upon it.
380
00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:40,060
I'd love to see that.
381
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:41,327
How about you, Raj?
382
00:15:41,328 --> 00:15:43,163
Beefaroni and a show?
383
00:15:43,164 --> 00:15:44,864
How do you turn that down?
384
00:15:44,865 --> 00:15:49,736
All right. (clears throat)
385
00:15:49,737 --> 00:15:51,404
Pick a card.
386
00:15:51,405 --> 00:15:53,673
Okay.
387
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,242
Bippity-boppity-boo.
388
00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:57,544
(beeps)
389
00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:08,955
What's with the wand
and the beep?
390
00:16:08,956 --> 00:16:10,723
The wand is called showmanship,
391
00:16:10,724 --> 00:16:13,093
and the beep is none
of your business.
392
00:16:14,261 --> 00:16:15,261
(text alert tone sounds)
393
00:16:15,262 --> 00:16:16,329
Oh! Excuse me.
394
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:17,864
I'm getting a text message
395
00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:20,433
completely unrelated
to this magic trick.
396
00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:24,037
Oh, look, my
dry cleaning's ready.
397
00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:27,941
And your card was
the five of spades. Ta-da.
398
00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:31,711
These cards have barcodes
on them.
399
00:16:31,712 --> 00:16:32,778
The wand is a reader.
400
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:34,781
It's transmitting to your phone.
401
00:16:38,452 --> 00:16:40,553
I said, "ta-da."
402
00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:41,621
Show's over.
403
00:16:41,622 --> 00:16:43,923
That's pathetic.
404
00:16:43,924 --> 00:16:46,626
Let me show you how
a real magician does it.
405
00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:47,960
Raj, take a card.
406
00:16:47,961 --> 00:16:49,829
Don't let me see it.
407
00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:52,165
Okay.
408
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,666
Three of clubs.
409
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,068
Son of a gun,
410
00:16:55,069 --> 00:16:56,603
you're blowing my mind!
411
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:02,308
Bippity-boppity-boo-yah!
412
00:17:04,278 --> 00:17:07,280
That does it.
I'm getting uranium.
413
00:17:12,086 --> 00:17:13,486
You ever gonna tell him?
414
00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:16,656
Maybe.
When it stops being fun.
415
00:17:16,657 --> 00:17:19,142
So never.
416
00:17:26,967 --> 00:17:28,801
Oh, hey, I was
just on my way to work.
417
00:17:28,802 --> 00:17:30,270
Oh, okay,
its not important.
418
00:17:30,271 --> 00:17:31,237
It can wait.
419
00:17:31,238 --> 00:17:32,856
No, it's all right.
Walk me down.
420
00:17:32,857 --> 00:17:33,857
So, what's up?
421
00:17:33,858 --> 00:17:35,542
Uh, I kind of have
a problem
422
00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:37,544
I was hoping
you could help me with.
423
00:17:37,545 --> 00:17:38,611
Sure, anything.
424
00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:41,114
Move out.
425
00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:42,482
What?
426
00:17:42,483 --> 00:17:43,816
Not far.
427
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,885
Hey, if you ever wanna
start a family,
428
00:17:45,886 --> 00:17:47,737
La Cañada has
some great schools.
429
00:17:47,738 --> 00:17:49,155
Okay, I'm not
moving anywhere.
430
00:17:49,156 --> 00:17:51,291
What the hell
is this all about?
431
00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:53,860
Why does it have
to be about anything?
432
00:17:53,861 --> 00:17:55,962
Can't a fella ask
his buddy to relocate,
433
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:58,064
no questions asked?
434
00:17:58,065 --> 00:17:59,465
Oh, for God's sake,
Leonard,
435
00:17:59,466 --> 00:18:00,967
this is about Priya,
isn't it?
436
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,702
She doesn't want me
hanging out with you.
437
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:05,872
Yes. There, I said it.
438
00:18:07,074 --> 00:18:08,675
Okay, look.
439
00:18:08,676 --> 00:18:10,843
I happen to like
your girlfriend.
440
00:18:10,844 --> 00:18:11,761
And she likes you.
441
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:12,412
No, she doesn't.
442
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,147
Not really, no.
443
00:18:14,148 --> 00:18:16,082
It doesn't matter.
Look, I promise from now on
444
00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:17,550
I will keep
my distance from you.
445
00:18:17,551 --> 00:18:19,953
Well, now, hold on.
What kind of distance
446
00:18:19,954 --> 00:18:21,888
are we talking about?
Because we are neighbors.
447
00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:24,190
I mean, I can hear the toilet
flush in your apartment.
448
00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:26,826
You can hear my toilet flush?
449
00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:29,395
I don't listen for it,
but it's nice to know
450
00:18:29,396 --> 00:18:32,966
everything's okay
with your plumbing.
451
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:34,834
The building's plumbing.
452
00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:36,035
Leonard, I get it.
453
00:18:36,036 --> 00:18:37,503
You're in
a new relationship now.
454
00:18:37,504 --> 00:18:38,738
And I'm happy for you.
455
00:18:38,739 --> 00:18:41,207
So why don't we just shake
hands and part friends?
456
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,408
Well, now hold on.
457
00:18:42,409 --> 00:18:43,643
How about this?
458
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,846
How about we still hang out,
but on the down-low?
459
00:18:46,847 --> 00:18:50,383
Are you really that kind of guy?
460
00:18:50,384 --> 00:18:52,051
No.
461
00:18:52,052 --> 00:18:56,256
I actually felt kinda silly just
saying "on the down-low."
462
00:18:58,025 --> 00:18:59,809
Good-bye, Leonard.
463
00:19:01,829 --> 00:19:04,397
Penny, wait.
464
00:19:05,232 --> 00:19:07,900
Ah!
465
00:19:11,438 --> 00:19:13,673
Damn contacts.
466
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:20,825
Incoming.
467
00:19:22,424 --> 00:19:24,809
- Hi!
- Hey!
468
00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:26,079
Hello.
469
00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:29,881
Why so glum, chum?
470
00:19:29,925 --> 00:19:31,926
Apparently,
you can't hack into
471
00:19:31,927 --> 00:19:33,895
a government
supercomputer
472
00:19:33,896 --> 00:19:35,496
and then try
to buy uranium
473
00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:37,632
without the Department of
Homeland Security tattling
474
00:19:37,633 --> 00:19:39,800
to your mother.
475
00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:45,673
Oh, that's too bad.
476
00:19:45,674 --> 00:19:47,242
Figure out the magic trick yet?
477
00:19:47,243 --> 00:19:49,544
(mocking):
Figure out the magic trick yet?
478
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,779
Want me to tell you
how to do it?
479
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:52,614
No.
480
00:19:52,615 --> 00:19:54,349
I'll show you one more time.
481
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:55,950
Raj?
482
00:19:55,951 --> 00:19:57,652
Hang on.
483
00:19:57,653 --> 00:19:59,587
This time do it with me,
484
00:19:59,588 --> 00:20:02,890
so I can make sure
there's no monkey business.
485
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,863
All right.
486
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:21,659
- Two of hearts.
- I hate you.
487
00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:25,563
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
488
00:20:28,919 --> 00:20:31,354
Yeah, he's gonna win
the Nobel Prize.