1 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,923 Love NPR. 2 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,921 Look at this guy. Hey, buddy. 3 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,325 That's not really called for. 4 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,800 I'm not gonna race you, bro. 5 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,570 What? Come on, bro, are you scared? 6 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,041 Nope. I have no intentions upon breaking the law today. 7 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,328 You're not gonna break the law? 8 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,927 Hey, buddy. Check it out. 9 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,121 Real nice. Put that badonkadonk away. That does not make me wanna race you. 10 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,366 Faggot! 11 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,569 I'm not a homosexual person. 12 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,485 You are. 13 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,524 All right, sir. Well, this here is saying that you are declining the insurance. 14 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,887 Not interested in GPS, you obviously know where you're going. 15 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,162 Just sign right there. You will be good to go. 16 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,966 I gotta ask, man. You look real familiar to me. 17 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,485 We don't know each other. Just go ahead and... 18 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,130 You used to play baseball, didn't you? 19 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:42,966 Once upon a time, yes, I did. 20 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,811 Yeah, man. Hey, baby... Can I get a picture? 21 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,451 Actually, you know what, sir, I don't do that kind of stuff anymore. 22 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,605 I walked away from celebrity a long time ago and I no longer take pictures, so... 23 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,920 Part of my life is over. 24 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,770 So you gonna big time us now? 25 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,207 We just rented a car from you. We're paying customers. 26 00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,281 Yeah, I know. 27 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,886 You're paying for the rental of a Ford Focus, not for a picture of a man. 28 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,411 Whatever. Be a dick about it. 29 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,960 You should be glad somebody wanna take a picture with your washed-up ass. 30 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,724 Hey, Ken. How we doing? 31 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,131 - Everything cool here? - Yeah. 32 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,931 No. I just asked him for a picture and he got all weird and uppity and shit. 33 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,400 I wasn't being uppity. 34 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,324 Ken. 35 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,881 Ken would be happy to give you a photograph, sir. 36 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,450 Just let me see your phone and I'll take a picture. 37 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,284 Yeah, he made it like it was a big deal and everything. 38 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,410 I'll bet he did. That's our Ken. 39 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,724 Come on around, Ken. Step on in. Scooch in there. 40 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,923 Get in there. Why don't everybody squeeze in there and make a Ken sammich? 41 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,730 Good composition. Now let's see a smile. 42 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,002 - Just take the picture, Mark. - Just smile. 43 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,243 Okay. You're doing something weird with your eyebrows. I don't even know. 44 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,970 Right. That'll do. 45 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,964 That's it. That's the one. 46 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,168 There you go. There's your happy memory, sir. 47 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,164 Thank you for choosing Millennial Rent-A-Car. 48 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,800 - I'll be back. - Yeah, you will. 49 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,649 Ken, let me talk to you for a second. You gotta do the dance for the customer. 50 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,764 All right, cool? 51 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,811 Mark, please... Mark, stop. 52 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,203 Okay. You got me, I'm knocked out. 53 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:07,721 Mark, stop it. Mark. Okay, boom, you got me. I got beat up, okay. 54 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,370 Mark, I'm not doing the "ror-ros." 55 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,365 - Come on. - Okay. 56 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,130 Seriously, can you please stop punching me? 57 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,363 All right. I'll tell you what. I'm gonna take over here. 58 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,603 What I'm gonna have you do is go ahead and wash down a few of the fleet just come in. 59 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,370 You know I've had a full dance card all morning. 60 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,762 - This shit can't wait till after lunch? - No. No, better go ahead and do it now. 61 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,610 I had made a sandwich that I... Was hoping to... 62 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,648 Forget it. I'll wash the cars. Thank you, Mark. 63 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,930 This is a story of a man who won. 64 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,681 By choosing love over fame, fortune, and countless adventures, 65 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,400 I had proven that my heart was true. 66 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,888 I had proven that I was a man who could face any peril. 67 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,811 Hey! What are you doing? Hey! 68 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,328 And fucking crush it in the name of love. 69 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,164 You fucking son of a bitch! 70 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,246 When I rolled back the stone and rose like the mighty phoenix, 71 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,521 there were some who couldn't process the uncut majesty of the event. 72 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,408 And there were some that decided to trump up 73 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,927 bullshit fraudulent life insurance claim charges against me. 74 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,161 But I couldn't be fazed. 75 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,411 And, ultimately, I was rewarded with the hand of my true love in matrimony. 76 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,006 I was rewarded with the birth of a gorgeous daughter. 77 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,844 And life began to take on a beautiful rhythm. 78 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,726 In the end, Kenny Powers didn't get what he wanted. 79 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,644 But he got what he needed. 80 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,884 He didn't win baseball, but he did win life. 81 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,407 Credits roll. 82 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,771 Besides them, on-set bloopers play 83 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,168 in a small box. 84 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,521 Hilarious. 85 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,926 Please finish your juice. 86 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:04,926 Just finished my feature. 87 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,640 What's a feature, Daddy? 88 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,167 A feature is Hollywood industry jargon for a screenplay. 89 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,651 You know what motion pictures are? 90 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,610 - Human Centipede. - Human Centipede. Yes, Shayna. 91 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,160 - You remember when we watched that film? - They ate the poo-poo. 92 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,930 That's right, they did eat the poo-poo. 93 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,566 And you know what? Those people didn't just make that up on their own. 94 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,449 Someone had to write that they ate poo-poo. 95 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,284 That's what a feature is. That's what a screenplay is. 96 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,441 That's what your dad just did. 97 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,285 - That movie's gross. - Big surprise. 98 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,805 My son got scared by a horror film. 99 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,565 Shayna didn't have a problem with it. 100 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,130 Shayna, you like when they eat the caca, right? 101 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,449 I love you. Look at you. Eating all your carrots. Gone. 102 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,927 Toby's got a goddamn farmer's market on his plate over there. 103 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,361 Toby, eat your fucking carrots. 104 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,924 Okay, okay. Kenny, what is this from the bank? 105 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,001 - Did you apply for a loan? - Yeah, word. 106 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:52,608 Yeah, yeah. This is the loan I applied for... For the backyard swimming pool. 107 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,570 We don't have money for a pool. 108 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,445 That's why I applied for a loan. 109 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,962 Okay. You know what, I have been running around all day 110 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,766 and we have our friends coming in just a little bit. 111 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,570 Could you please put them to bed? 112 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,361 You know, actually, I was gonna go upstairs and try to put a really tight playlist together 113 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,727 for us to, like, chill to tonight when we have this dinner party. 114 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,802 Right. I... Yeah. 115 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,880 They're the priority. 116 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,851 - So I really need your help. - I know. Just, like... 117 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,807 Super tight playlist could just really set the night off right. 118 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,961 Okay. Yeah, cool. We don't need a playlist. 119 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,487 I'll just put the Saturday chillax-relaxation mix on. 120 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,167 That should probably translate nicely. Perfect. 121 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,641 I love you. I love you so much. 122 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,166 I love you. 123 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,409 I need you to finish up your juice. 124 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,804 What happened? 125 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,721 That vase fell. Now I'm just trying to find the nightly news. 126 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,449 So I had my testosterone levels checked the other day, 127 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,326 a couple weeks ago, and they were very low. 128 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,011 As I kind of figured they were. 129 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,680 But the doctor got me on this application. 130 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,604 - It's like a deodorant. - That's terrific. 131 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,051 - You just roll it on? - Yeah. 132 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,363 It gets me into a position mentally and hormonally 133 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,125 to a place where I am attracted to my wife. 134 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,725 Before it was like I couldn't even get near him. 135 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,362 I would wear basically nothing. And he wouldn't even look my way. 136 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,484 And now it's great. We're very healthy sexually, 137 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,483 - and, yeah, wonderful. - A little too healthy. 138 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,884 Fascinating. 139 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,210 April, I heard you're being honored. Is that true? 140 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,847 - It's really nothing. - What is it? Tell us about it. 141 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:47,006 It's this silly award because I just sold the most houses this year. 142 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,407 - That's so amazing. That's huge. - Awesome, awesome. 143 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,801 Yeah. 144 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,927 Well, it's not like she sold the most houses in the whole country, 145 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:59,410 it's just in the region or at her job in this office, not really all the offices. 146 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,005 Yeah, just the region. 147 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,288 Big region. It's a buyer's market, though. 148 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,169 - Yeah. True. - Well, some say. 149 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,571 Some say that the bubble's already burst 150 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,120 and that it's going the other way, too, so who knows? 151 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,326 Who says that? 152 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,084 Just the economic reports I've been reading 153 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,605 have been talking about... 154 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,922 That just don't be so cocky with houses, 155 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,162 because it could all turn around at any moment. 156 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,480 - Yeah. - That's what I've learned. 157 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,570 Oh, my gosh. Having a wife that's so successful... 158 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,730 I mean, most men would be like, "I can't handle it." 159 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,930 I know this one would be terrible. Look at the... Look at eyes. Look at his eyes. 160 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,451 Yeah, I'll do the work, you clean up. 161 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,927 He's so supportive. I mean, really is. 162 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,844 - So sweet, Kenny. - You're like a nice big bra. 163 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,886 You are not. 164 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,409 I shouldn't tell jokes, I'm not the jokester. 165 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,084 - He is and I'll pass. - I'm the joke man. 166 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,527 - He does impressions. - I love your impressions. 167 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,331 - Do one for us. - Do my mother. Do my mother. 168 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,811 It's so funny if you know her. 169 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,723 You better watch yourself. 170 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,641 You're spending too much money on that house. 171 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,926 It's exact. 172 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,331 Well, you know what? I can do impressions too. 173 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,164 This is your guys' kid, the one you guys adopted. 174 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,600 This is him. 175 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,569 Hey, you guys don't look like my parents. 176 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,327 Where are my parents? Where'd my mom and dad go? 177 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,529 Right? This is funny. This is your guys' kid. 178 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,527 I wish you guys would've left me in Vietnam in the foxhole 179 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,965 - instead of taking me here. - That's enough. 180 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,168 - To be around everyone else. - Kenny, that's enough. 181 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,321 - Yes. - That's enough. 182 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,243 Muggy out, isn't it? 183 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,611 Hey, once you're done in here, I need you to drop a Benz in Charlotte. 184 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,684 I'm gonna get butt-fucked in traffic, dude. 185 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,724 Charlotte on rush hour on a Wednesday? Ask Derrick to do it. 186 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,168 I ain't asking anybody. I'm telling you, Ken. 187 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,290 Man, I was hoping to get off early tonight, my wife's getting honored at an event. 188 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,680 Ken. 189 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,967 - Yes, Mark. What? - Ken. 190 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,884 You happen to know who mushed the donuts I brought in today? 191 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,009 I broke a piece off. I wasn't trying to eat the whole thing. 192 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,965 No. I'm not talking about breaking a piece off. 193 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,090 I'm talking about somebody who went in and methodically mushed the donuts. 194 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,042 It's not like a donut got mushed accidental. 195 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,561 It was definitely intentional mushing the donuts. 196 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,890 Well, no. I didn't... Why am I gonna mush donuts? 197 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,206 I don't give a shit about donuts. 198 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,521 You broke a piece off. 199 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,365 Because I'm trying to watch my weight. I wasn't trying to eat the whole thing. 200 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,522 Maybe some people in this job just don't wanna come in here 201 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,171 and be seeing little gifts just that don't mean nothing. 202 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,924 That's peace offerings, man. 203 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,809 Why does there have to even be a peace offering? 204 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,365 Maybe if people just treated people right around here 205 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,522 people wouldn't be trying to have to give peace offerings. 206 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,251 - What are you trying to tell me, Ken? - What are you trying to ask me? 207 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,129 I'm asking if you know who mushed the donuts I brought in. 208 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,811 And what'd I tell you? I said no. I said I broke a piece off. 209 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,041 I'm trying to watch my figure. 210 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,607 If you do hear anything, let me know. 211 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,081 Yeah. Good luck with your investigation, inspector. 212 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,891 I'm not gonna steal anything. You don't have to wait out here with me. 213 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,121 I'll be the judge of that. 214 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,445 All right. 215 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,881 - Here he is, come on. - Hey. 216 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,721 Shit. 217 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,649 Is there any way we can just sign this back here? 218 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,131 No. Come on. 219 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,007 Anna, what a pretty name. 220 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,726 Kenny Powers. 221 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,446 Guy Young. 222 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,131 - Kenny fucking Powers. - Hey. 223 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,248 - What's up, champion? - What's happening, man? 224 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,810 - How you doing? - My old teammate, my God. 225 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,604 - Yeah. - What's it been, like, 15 years? 226 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,929 - Yeah, at least 15. Not since Atlanta. - Hotlanta, right? 227 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,884 Mos def, mos def. 228 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,164 I saw this guy fucking drink firewater out of a hooker's pussy. 229 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,571 - That's right. - No joke. 230 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,721 - Yeah, I forgot about that. - Right out of her pussy. 231 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,569 - And then you fucked her. - And then I fucked her, yeah. 232 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,649 Made my dick sting a little, because of the firewater. 233 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,165 - We were crazy back then. - I know. 234 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,928 So what's happening here? You guys making a movie or something? 235 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,044 No, no. We're not making a movie. I'm not a movie star. 236 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,884 We're making a TV show. I'm a TV star. 237 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,042 - I do Sports Sesh over here. - Yeah. There's... 238 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,161 - That's cool. - It's a sports show. 239 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,446 I'm not familiar with the program. 240 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,329 I don't really keep up with the sporting world anymore. 241 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,404 Hey. You got five minutes? I can give you a Guy Young VIP tour. 242 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,527 Actually, I gotta... 243 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,523 He's dropping off your rental car, Mr. Guy Young. 244 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,408 What do you... What are you... Why? You rent cars now? 245 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,724 Well, actually, more or less the CEO of like a rental car corporation. 246 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,683 Don't you have some paperwork for him to sign? 247 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,363 Yes, Miss Pleasant, I do. 248 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,003 So here's the forms. 249 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,011 This is the other Kenny, he's my assistant manager. 250 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,923 So sign that, right there's cool. 251 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,331 - You also are gonna sign there. - Right here? 252 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,085 You gotta say that the gas tank is full and if you don't bring it back full, 253 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,289 - then we will charge you for it. - Yeah, I usually return it empty. 254 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,882 Okay. Suit yourself. TV star. Doesn't have to worry about gas. 255 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,649 - There's your car. - Thank you, buddy. 256 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:26,721 Hey, Kenny, before you go, 257 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:31,004 I'm hosting this charity event at the Ballantyne Hotel Friday night. 258 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,724 It's a little upscale, a little fancy. 259 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,246 Not your cup of tea, but right afterwards there's an after-party. 260 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,731 It's gonna be off the fucking hook. 261 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,484 I'm gonna bring some of my guys from the show. 262 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,246 We hit a little pinch of vintage Kenny P. and it'll be 1998 all over again. 263 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,560 - What do you say? - Yeah. 264 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,205 That does sound like a good time, Guy, 265 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,011 but walked away from the party scene a few years ago. 266 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,287 - I'm a family man now. - Get the fuck out of here. 267 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,600 - Back up. - No, it's true. 268 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,882 I'm... Love my family. I don't party anymore. 269 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,246 Get out of here. Shut up. 270 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,442 The only drug I get off on is my wife and kids 271 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,841 and I get fucked up on them every single night. 272 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,366 What? I feel like I'm looking at a dead man. 273 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:06,604 I did die, and then I was born again as a family man. 274 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,004 - Well, as long as you're happy, Kenny. - Thrilled. Never been happier. 275 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,209 - Hey, get back to work, all right? Listen. - You, too. 276 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,602 Maybe I'll put you on the list, just in case you change your mind. 277 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,606 I wouldn't bother. I got a corporate takeover I have to oversee, so I'm not gonna be able... 278 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,206 I'm gonna put you on the list anyway. 279 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,203 - Good to see you, Guy. - Good seeing you. 280 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,282 - Take care of yourself. - Who wants an autograph? 281 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,806 Her charm, her work ethic and her tireless spirit 282 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,289 make April the best agent I've ever worked with. 283 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,329 I'd truly be lost without her. 284 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:39,286 So, without further ado, our MVP, 285 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,723 the one and only, April Powers. 286 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,968 You like me, you really like me. 287 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,529 Well, first off, I just wanna thank everyone that I work with. 288 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,168 You have been so good to me. 289 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,643 You have taught me the tools that I have needed to succeed. 290 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,971 But most of all, I wanna thank my husband, Kenny, 291 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,326 who has always been so supportive of me no matter what. 292 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,850 When I've been working late, he takes care of the kids, 293 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,567 cleaning the poopy diapers, singing lullabies, 294 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,525 cooking for them. 295 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,566 He has become quite the little cook. 296 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,328 Also, when it's just been a rough day, I'm excited to go home 297 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,325 because I know that there is a back rub and a bubble bath waiting for me. 298 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,681 Awww! 299 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:41,044 So thank you for standing right behind me. 300 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,210 You truly are my wonderful husband. 301 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,921 Fuck! Shit! 302 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,726 Shit! Fuck you! 303 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,889 Cunt! Shit! 304 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,890 Shit! Crap fucking shit! 305 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,245 - God damn it! - There you are. 306 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,368 I was looking for you. What is wrong? 307 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,807 Nothing. Just that place smells bad inside. 308 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,202 Smells like dog shit and pot stickers. Trying to get some fresh air. 309 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,408 Kenny, what is going on? You can tell me. 310 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,650 I don't know. 311 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:29,288 Just sitting in there and everyone's clapping for you. 312 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,331 Must think of me like some kind of dipshit. I feel like fucking Tim Robbins in there. 313 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,926 Everyone's smiling at me, bitching me out. 314 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,009 So because I'm achieving something that makes you a bitch? 315 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,161 Yes, April. 316 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,526 Every single morning I wake up, 317 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,126 I think about the fact that I fucking walked away from baseball. 318 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,324 I gotta suck my fucking soul in, put a smile on my face, 319 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,444 go about my day. 320 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,126 You have so much to be proud of. 321 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,208 Like what? My shitty job? 322 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,011 - Our lame-ass friends? - Your kids. 323 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,210 Well, Shayna's pretty cool but she's never gonna be a ball player. 324 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,681 Toby. Always trying to challenge my authority. 325 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,445 Little motherfucker thinks he's the head of the household. Fuck him. 326 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,207 You think it's easy for me? Watching you mope around the house. 327 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,124 Mope. Ain't nobody moping. 328 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,442 You know what? 329 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,844 I'm gonna go in there. And I'm gonna try to enjoy myself. 330 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,809 And I hope you will join me. 331 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,324 April. 332 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,167 I'm gonna stay out here in silent protest. 333 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,171 But perhaps you could grab me some of those chili sliders, that'd be very baller. 334 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,325 Maybe some napkins. Arnold Palmer. 335 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,408 Actually, April. 336 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,641 You know what, scratch the Arnold Palmer. Just make it a lemonade. 337 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,369 That's ridiculous, all right. Let's be honest, 338 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,442 I mean, there are already gay athletes in the league. 339 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,648 Just 'cause they're not vocal doesn't mean they're not there. 340 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,210 I know Dontel ain't about that life. 341 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,569 - Are you afraid it's contagious? - I damn sure ain't gonna find out. 342 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,608 No. Way. Boy. 343 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,763 I just want you to take a second, okay, 344 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,890 and just imagine that you're sitting in a dugout 345 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,281 and you're looking across the field and who's there in the other dugout, 346 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,807 is AIDS. A team of AIDS. 347 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,324 Baseball cap on and a uniform. All skinny with lesions. 348 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,369 Saying, "I wanna get in you. 349 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,205 "I wanna get my AIDS right up in you. 350 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,170 "I wanna give this man AIDS. I wanna give this beautiful woman AIDS. 351 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,685 "I wanna give this whole table AIDS." 352 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,728 Well, not on my watch. Not on Guy Young's watch. 353 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,481 We're not gonna let AIDS get more hits than us. 354 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,882 We're not gonna let AIDS strike out more people than us. 355 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,320 No, sir. Not on my watch. 356 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,564 Let's take out our checkbooks. Let's take out our wallets. 357 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,163 And let's all be heroes together and win the World Series against AIDS. Okay? 358 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,520 Let's find a cure. 359 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,768 Let's find a cure for AIDS. 360 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,002 Shit, dude. An AIDS charity. That's a fucking pretty big deal. 361 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,448 Yeah, man. All the top dogs have their own AIDS charities. 362 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,522 War torn countries and natural disasters, 363 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,683 they come and go, but the A-train keeps on rollin'. 364 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,364 You're a good fit for AIDS, man. I'm happy for you. 365 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,010 - That's awesome. - Thank you. Hey, Jed. 366 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,731 Bring the boys over. 367 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,929 Kenny Powers, I want you to meet my Sports Sesh cohorts. 368 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,367 This is three-time Winston Cup champion, Jed Forney. 369 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,210 Hall of Fame linebacker, Jimmy Clay. 370 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,363 And last but not least, former heavyweight champion of the world, 371 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,647 - Rodney "The Hammer" Garcia. - Nice to meet you. 372 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,121 Holy shit. Well, you boys didn't forget to eat your Wheaties? 373 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,290 Hey, you boys ready to pop some champ? 374 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,566 - Hell yeah. - Sure. 375 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,291 Because I put in my brownie points, now I'm ready to point some brownies. 376 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,930 What does "point some brownies" mean? 377 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,451 Fuck some ladies in the ass. 378 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,601 Hey! 379 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,090 Hey, another round of shots. 380 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,481 - Coconut Ciroc, all around. - Man. 381 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,167 - Big fucking spender. - That's so much money. 382 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,329 Shit, man. I'm bippin' daily. 383 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,080 Man, I haven't been to a VIP joint like this in a long time. 384 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,400 It's been a while. Thank you very much. 385 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,610 Hey, don't get it twisted. We splittin' the check now. 386 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,842 I actually only had two sexes on beaches. 387 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,161 Stop actin' like a little bitch, Kenny. You know you rich. 388 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,691 Yeah, I'm rich. 389 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,126 Hey, I'll pay for Kenny. 390 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,202 Hell, I got so much money I don't even know what to do with it. 391 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,001 Hey, this bastard making all that bank selling doo-doo chicken to the poor folk. 392 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,401 Hey, don't be jealous of my chicken chain. 393 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,807 Ain't nobody jealous of your wack-ass chicken chain. 394 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,325 Shit, you know that chicken nasty as a motherfucker 395 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,129 if my black ass won't even eat that shit. 396 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,049 He's black and he won't eat the chicken. 397 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,650 Somebody's buying it. 398 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,567 - Hey, Guy, tell him what you got. - You wanna know what I got? 399 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,610 I'll tell you what I got. I got... I got two Regal Cinemas. 400 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,371 I got a Napa Auto Parts. I got eight Sbarros. 401 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,369 I got I don't know how many Subways. 402 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,763 Hey, Kenny, tell 'em what you got. Tell 'em what you got. 403 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,844 - Don't hold back now. - Yeah. 404 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,322 I got a modest priced home. I got a good deal on it. 405 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,084 - That's nice. - Yeah. 406 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,884 What else, what else? What else you got? Come on now. 407 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,491 I got a family that loves me. 408 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,449 Loves the fuck outta me. They really like me a lot. 409 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,000 - Seriously though... - What the fuck is that? 410 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,366 Something real. What you got? 411 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,366 I'm about to get a pool. 412 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,366 I love pools! 413 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,522 Hey, I swim in my pool every motherfucking day. 414 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,730 Pool! Pools! 415 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:20,960 I'm gonna get a big motherfucking pool! 416 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,161 Let's all dance! 417 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,807 Please eat your cereal, I'm not playing around. 418 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,211 I need you to eat it right now. 419 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,481 Hey, that's mine! 420 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,971 No, we're not gonna run in the house, please. 421 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,527 Toby, I need you to give her her iPad back, please. 422 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,047 Let's bring the sound down just a decibel, please. 423 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,688 - Good morning. - Hey, good morning. 424 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,161 - Late night? - I guess. Hey, where's the aspirin at? 425 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,650 - Right there. In that drawer. - Here? 426 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,322 - The coffee's ready. - Nice. 427 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,689 And you got this. 428 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,368 Toby, please get ready for school. I'm not gonna say it again. 429 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,251 God damn it. 430 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,810 Look at this guy. This is the guy from before. 431 00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,851 Look at his little Sebring. 432 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:02,321 - Hey, I like that Sebring, bro. - Oh, my God. 433 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,525 He is a real loser. 434 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,562 It's not nice to call people faggots. 435 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,401 Faggots. 436 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,963 This motherfucker's crazy. 437 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,970 What the fuck was that shit? 438 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,401 O-M-F-N-G. 439 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,009 Look at that body damage. 440 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,964 This is structural. What happened here? 441 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,763 Shit, Mark. Shit happened. Just like the saying goes. 442 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,406 And I didn't fill it up with gas either. 443 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,246 Well, I'm gonna need a full report. You're gonna have to do the paperwork. 444 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,010 Your laws mean nothing to me. 445 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,001 Last night I had a taste of the A-list. 446 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,926 And it reminded me of something I've known for a very long time. 447 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,161 I'm better than you. 448 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,803 This little fucking parking lot here, this may be your kingdom, your legacy. 449 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,564 It's a piss in the pool to me. 450 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,560 From this moment forward, I'm getting what's mine. 451 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,484 Fame, money, respect, chicken chains. 452 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,969 And if you doubt that, all of you can suck my nuts. 453 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:46,284 Suck on them so fucking hard you can't even breath through your mouth, 454 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,600 only through your nose, 455 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,924 but it'll be even hard to do 'cause my fucking fat dick will be clogging that shit. 456 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,006 I'm no longer some slack-jawed dipshit that rents cars. 457 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,209 Now I'm just back to just being a regular to who I am. 458 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,003 You wanna fucking air battle, bitch? Let's fucking air battle. 459 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:05,885 - Come on, man. - You like that? 460 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,004 - Don't fake punch me. - Put up some fucking defenses. 461 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,286 Don't air punch me. 462 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,124 You're not doing it good naturedly. 463 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,247 Stop, man. 464 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,481 You just connected, man. 465 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,130 Okay, I know. That last one got away from me. 466 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,647 But that is what happens when people get into air battles. 467 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,883 Sometimes they connect, Mark. Sometimes they connect. 468 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:26,681 I quit.