1 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,820 It is time. 2 00:00:54,570 --> 00:01:00,620 They've reached the second crucial turning point in their destiny. 3 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:05,290 Their message is about to reach millions. 4 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:09,210 But... we will change all that. 5 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,010 When our mission is successful... 6 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:18,340 ...no longer will the world be dominated... 7 00:01:18,510 --> 00:01:23,810 ...by the legacy of these two fools! 8 00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:27,230 No longer will we hear this: 9 00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:29,940 We will stop them now! 10 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,110 Brothers and sisters... 11 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,530 ...are we ready? 12 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:11,500 - Greetings, my excellent pupils. - Station. 13 00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:15,920 Let's continue our study of the physics of acoustical reverberation. 14 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:19,670 Meet today's most non-bogus guest speakers. 15 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,880 Say hello to Thomas Edison. 16 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:23,760 Hello there. 17 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,140 To help us on the musical side: 18 00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,270 Johann Sebastian Bach. 19 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,560 And Sir James Martin of Faith No More... 20 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:39,820 ...founder of the Faith No More Spiritual and Theological Center. 21 00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:45,410 - Station! - Station! 22 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,580 And a special treat from the 23rd century: 23 00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:50,540 Miss Ria Paschelle. 24 00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:57,800 Miss Paschelle is the inventor of the... 25 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,590 ...statiophonicoxygeneticamp- lifiagraphiphonideliverberator. 26 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,720 Hard to imagine the world without them, isn't it? 27 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,220 Remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin and Aretha Franklin will be here. 28 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:15,440 Saturday is the field trip to Babylonia. And very important: 29 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:21,030 Do not do your homework without wearing headphones... 30 00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:21,170 De Nomolos. My old teacher. 31 00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:26,260 Rufus. My favorite pupil. 32 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:29,050 - I thought you were... - Dead? 33 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,140 No. 34 00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:33,980 Just in preparation. 35 00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:40,940 I worked within the system until I could stand it no longer. 36 00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,980 And soon... 37 00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:49,200 ...soon the system will never have existed. 38 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,080 - You won't get away with it. - Time will tell. 39 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,830 Time has told. 40 00:05:55,080 --> 00:06:00,840 I'll go back and change that, with the aid of my secret weapons! 41 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,680 How's it going, dudes? 42 00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:31,160 Friends, friends, friends. These are automatons. 43 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:35,580 Replicas only. Furnished with my agenda. 44 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,540 Now, what is your mission? 45 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:43,840 - First, we totally kill Bill and Ted. - Then we take over their lives. 46 00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:46,340 Then we utterly destroy them. 47 00:06:46,550 --> 00:06:51,470 At the Battle of the Bands, we give their speech except totally different. 48 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,640 And thus a new future is born. A great future. 49 00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,310 Don't tell us. You programmed us. 50 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,230 - He's totally a robot! - So are you! 51 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360 We're total metal heads! 52 00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:06,070 Shut up. 53 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,200 Now. 54 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,450 - What is the fuel? - Fear! 55 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:17,330 - What is the engine? - Discipline! 56 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,830 - What is the ideal? - Order! 57 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,170 And how do we achieve it? 58 00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:33,010 Death to Bill and Ted! 59 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,060 Catch you later, evil dude. 60 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,100 I am Bill S. Preston... 61 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,980 ...Esquire! 62 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,320 This is Ted "Theodore" Logan! 63 00:08:34,950 --> 00:08:37,200 On drums and keyboards... 64 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:41,040 ...celebrating their fifth year in the 20th century... 65 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:44,290 ...the princesses from medieval England. 66 00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:47,210 Joanna and Elizabeth. 67 00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:49,880 And we are... 68 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,340 ...Wyld Stallyns. 69 00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:01,310 You tell me you're the greatest band, but you stink. 70 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,390 We don't understand it either. 71 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,190 You can't sing. 72 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:12,070 - The girls can play. But you guys? - Girls mature faster than guys. 73 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,780 Plus, they started in the 15th century. 74 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:16,280 What do you mean? 75 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:19,830 - They're from medieval England. - Ted, shut up. 76 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,120 Medieval England, Iowa. 77 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:26,750 The Battle of the Bands is the biggest event in the area. 78 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,710 We're talking about a $25,000 first prize... 79 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:34,340 ...a two-year record deal and exposure to people in the business. 80 00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:40,430 We're even live on Channel 12. If you were me, would you put you guys on? 81 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,810 No way. 82 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:46,890 Since you work for Pretzels 'N' Cheese, I'll give you a shot. 83 00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:48,730 Excellent! 84 00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:56,150 But last. Midnight. By that time, everyone will be gone. 85 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,910 That's all right. We're used to that. 86 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,540 We cleaned out Ted's brother's junior high dance. 87 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:06,210 They turned on "La Bamba" while he was playing his solo. 88 00:10:06,410 --> 00:10:08,210 Shut up, Ted! 89 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:12,500 Guys, do yourself a favor. Prepare a little. 90 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:15,720 Work on your act. Think of something. 91 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,260 Don't worry. We won't let you down. 92 00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:28,020 - Dude, we gotta win. - Then we could propose to the ladies. 93 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:32,900 We can't raise a family on the money from Pretzels 'N' Cheese. 94 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:37,240 I'll tell Missy we're on our way. 95 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,740 Should be a most resplendent birthday party. 96 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,370 - Shall we, ladies? - Great, sure. 97 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:09,390 So you have something else to celebrate tonight. 98 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,440 We got into the Battle of the Bands. 99 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:18,190 If we win, I'll totally pay you back your money. 100 00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,450 What if you don't win? 101 00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:26,790 Well, uh, I guess... 102 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:34,670 - Maybe sell more blood. - Think about selling the instruments. 103 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,760 Of course, we've always got a spot for you. 104 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:43,510 Remember my friend, Colonel Oats from the Alaskan Military School? 105 00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:50,480 - "How's it going?" - Yeah. 106 00:11:50,690 --> 00:11:52,520 Splendidly. 107 00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:55,190 Remember... 108 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,030 ...it's not too late for you, Ted. 109 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,080 For either of you. 110 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,250 For all four of you. 111 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:19,090 Fresh fudge. 112 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,760 Hi, Oatsie. 113 00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,930 Darling. 114 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,390 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Missy. 115 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,310 Hey, Missy. I mean, Mom. 116 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:39,730 I can't believe Missy divorced your dad... 117 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:41,570 ...and married mine. 118 00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:44,110 Shut up, Ted. 119 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,580 - Your dad looks bad. - I know. 120 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,710 What's next? 121 00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:00,840 - Maybe she'll marry you. - Then you'll be your own stepdad. 122 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,180 You probably noticed we haven't given you our gifts yet. 123 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,100 That's because... 124 00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:20,820 That's because we wanted to say... 125 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,450 Excuse us, dude. 126 00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,750 I wrote this myself. 127 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,050 I wrote this last night. 128 00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:50,180 "Elizabeth..." 129 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,390 "Joanna... 130 00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:56,640 ...as I wander through this dark and Ionely forest of life..." 131 00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:59,190 "...surrounded by various beasts..." 132 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,480 "...bears, vipers, squirrels..." 133 00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:05,190 "Not to mention barnacles and algae..." 134 00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:09,450 "...man-of-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish..." 135 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:11,870 Oh, no, that's freshwater. 136 00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:17,040 The point is, I know we promised you a better life than this. 137 00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:23,380 What I mean to say is, I realize when we took you out of England... 138 00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:27,010 ...we said the future held some really good stuff. 139 00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:30,390 Although stuff hasn't worked out how we thought... 140 00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:34,020 ...it will, we hope. 141 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,060 The day after tomorrow, if things work out... 142 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:40,900 What this is about is... 143 00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,620 - Will you...? - Marry us? 144 00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:59,370 - Theodore... - I'd love to. 145 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:45,460 - Aim for the cat, dude! - I'm trying, Evil Ted! I'm trying! 146 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,010 Aw, just missed! 147 00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:06,440 - Not bad. - Yeah, let's make it bad. 148 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,080 We're here, dude. 149 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,460 Is Rufus with you? 150 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:23,790 One second. 151 00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:39,390 Looks like we lost him in the circuits of time, duder. 152 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,980 Good. Then he's gone forever. 153 00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:46,560 Our first act of business: 154 00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:49,980 Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band! 155 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,490 You got it, dude! 156 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,660 Get to work. 157 00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:57,620 Now! 158 00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,540 Study these books well. 159 00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:02,290 When my mission is completed... 160 00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:05,250 ...this will be the new history. 161 00:17:06,710 --> 00:17:08,210 What a shithead. 162 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,260 - Bye! - Bye! 163 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,930 Drive safe! 164 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,430 - Dude. - What? 165 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,140 After we're married, will the girls stay with us? 166 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:27,230 Yeah, our girlfriends are most chaste. 167 00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:31,480 - At least they're not dating our dads. - Good point, dude. 168 00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:39,370 - Hello? - This is Joanna. 169 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,580 Joanna! How'd you call so fast? 170 00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:44,910 It's not important. This is: 171 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,420 Elizabeth and I have decided we're quitting Wyld Stallyns. 172 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,590 What? 173 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:51,920 - Yes! - Why? 174 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:55,090 You're losers and we don't want to see you again. 175 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,260 No way! 176 00:17:56,470 --> 00:18:02,470 We're going to the desert to be alone. It's over. Goodbye. 177 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:14,190 - I totally fooled them. - Yeah, they're completely brilliant. 178 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,450 Not! 179 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,450 - Let's start phase two. - Station. 180 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,350 An incredible fortune in stones. 181 00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:54,900 Yet I'd trade them all for a hand phaser. 182 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,530 Or a good solid club. 183 00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:02,910 Maybe we should've proposed to them sooner. 184 00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:06,870 How could we, Ted? 185 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,620 We could barely afford our own apartment. 186 00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:14,130 This is most non-non-heinous. 187 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,840 - What are we gonna do? - We gotta find them. 188 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,300 Talk to them. 189 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,220 But how? 190 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,990 Who could that be? 191 00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:52,630 How's it going, Bill and Ted? 192 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,420 Ted, it's us again. 193 00:19:56,170 --> 00:19:59,300 - How's it going, Bill? - Not bad, Bill. And you? 194 00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,510 Bad. 195 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:06,600 We came to help in your most unfortunate situation. 196 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,610 How? 197 00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:17,860 Come with us. We'll show you. 198 00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:21,490 Excuse us. 199 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,240 - I got a weird feeling here. - Why? 200 00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:30,080 I don't know. 201 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,960 How do we know they're really us? 202 00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:40,340 We've been through this before. 203 00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:43,300 Without the intervention of our future selves... 204 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:47,390 ...would we have passed history? Or met the babes? 205 00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:51,520 Or had a most excellent adventure through time? 206 00:20:56,110 --> 00:21:00,530 Ted, if you're really me, how many fingers am I gonna hold up? 207 00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,740 Three. 208 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,950 You're right! 209 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,660 Let's go, guys. We'll drive. 210 00:21:15,710 --> 00:21:17,170 - Ted. - What? 211 00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:22,220 I think we're about to embark on an unprecedented expedition. 212 00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,760 - Dude. - What? 213 00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:30,140 I got a full-on robot chubby. 214 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,520 Later, Evil Ted. 215 00:21:33,020 --> 00:21:34,270 Later. 216 00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:50,200 I'm cold. 217 00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:55,460 Hey! Can we have some heat back here? 218 00:21:55,670 --> 00:21:57,170 Shut up, Bill. 219 00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:01,670 That other you's a real jerk. 220 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:07,720 I'll be more considerate to myself when I become him. 221 00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:09,970 He said, shut your holes! 222 00:22:12,890 --> 00:22:15,020 I got a very bad feeling. 223 00:22:49,090 --> 00:22:50,220 Out. 224 00:22:57,730 --> 00:23:01,190 So where are Joanna and Elizabeth? 225 00:23:01,650 --> 00:23:03,150 They're not here. 226 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:07,570 We lied. Here's the truth, we're gonna kill you now. 227 00:23:08,780 --> 00:23:10,700 - No way! - Yes way, Ted. 228 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,500 - We're programmed to do it. - And we want to do it too. 229 00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,160 You dick, Bill! 230 00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:26,380 - You're metal, dude! - I know. Check it out. 231 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:37,730 Let's go. 232 00:23:38,430 --> 00:23:39,940 Bogus. 233 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:17,600 We gotta do something. 234 00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:21,770 Dudes, even though you're doing this... 235 00:24:22,020 --> 00:24:25,400 ...we, we... 236 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:27,110 We love you. 237 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,070 We love you. 238 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,740 Fags! 239 00:24:37,870 --> 00:24:41,080 Catch you later, Bill and Ted! 240 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,730 Yes! I totally loogied on that good dead me! 241 00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:07,820 - We're fully, full-on evil robots. - Yeah! 242 00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:15,490 - You wanna take the van? - No, it's beat. 243 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,370 There's a Porsche. 244 00:25:21,370 --> 00:25:22,500 Let's bag it. 245 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,830 Station. 246 00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:05,330 Bill... 247 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,250 ...what happened? 248 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:10,880 Ted... 249 00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:14,260 ...we're dead, dude. 250 00:26:17,470 --> 00:26:21,260 - No way. - Yes way. 251 00:26:21,430 --> 00:26:22,850 Look. 252 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,320 Now what? 253 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,530 Who's that? 254 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,750 Who are you? 255 00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:50,460 Ted... 256 00:26:51,590 --> 00:26:54,210 ...it's the Grim Reaper, dude. 257 00:26:57,010 --> 00:26:58,760 How's it hanging, Death? 258 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,390 You will come with me. 259 00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:08,640 We can't. We gotta get back to the babes. 260 00:27:08,810 --> 00:27:11,310 Ted, we can't. We're dead, dude. 261 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,110 We gotta stop these evil "usses." We gotta try. 262 00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:20,240 Excuse us, dude, but is there any way back? 263 00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:25,700 You may challenge me to a contest. 264 00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:27,910 But if you lose... 265 00:27:28,710 --> 00:27:31,670 ...you will remain here in the afterlife... 266 00:27:32,170 --> 00:27:33,630 ...forever. 267 00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:40,430 What if we win? 268 00:27:41,470 --> 00:27:45,140 No one has ever won. 269 00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:49,940 - Dude, we gotta ditch this guy. - Definitely. 270 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,600 But how? 271 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,820 Melvin. 272 00:28:00,150 --> 00:28:02,660 Excuse us, dude... 273 00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:05,450 ...but your shoes are untied. 274 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,170 I can't believe we just melvined Death. 275 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,430 Let's hope he doesn't catch up with us. 276 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,140 No way! 277 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,770 This isn't funny. 278 00:29:11,980 --> 00:29:13,480 Way to go, Joanna! 279 00:29:13,730 --> 00:29:16,400 I don't understand what's come over you two. 280 00:29:16,610 --> 00:29:20,530 You see, we used to be puss-weeds, but now we're metal. 281 00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:23,070 So get over here and put out! 282 00:29:24,740 --> 00:29:27,910 You can forget about us playing tonight. 283 00:29:28,790 --> 00:29:29,790 Fine. 284 00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:37,790 Then I guess that's that. 285 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,010 Yeah, see you. 286 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,690 Catch you later, babes! 287 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,410 Ted, I have an idea. 288 00:30:08,620 --> 00:30:11,490 Tonight after we make De Nomolos' speech... 289 00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:14,250 ...let's waste them. 290 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:19,210 Station. Meanwhile, let's trash this lame rathole. 291 00:30:19,420 --> 00:30:20,880 Stellar, Evil Ted! 292 00:30:27,470 --> 00:30:32,100 - Ted, we have got to stop them. - Yeah. But how? 293 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:37,850 I hope this works. 294 00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:41,440 It worked in The Exorcist. I and III! 295 00:30:46,570 --> 00:30:51,780 You'll move downtown so DeLoach can take her maternity leave. 296 00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:55,250 Also, anyone interested in moonlighting... 297 00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:58,920 ...we're stepping up security for the Battle of the Bands. 298 00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:02,380 I hear your son's band is playing. 299 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,220 Thanks for reminding me, sergeant. Also, Scott Frank... 300 00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:13,890 - So, how do we do this? - I don't know. 301 00:31:15,350 --> 00:31:17,390 Why don't you try something? 302 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:19,730 Okay. 303 00:31:37,290 --> 00:31:39,420 Okay, dudes. 304 00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:42,420 I mean, fellow policemen... 305 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,630 ...my son, Ted "Theodore" Logan... 306 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,470 ...and his friend Bill Preston, Esquire... 307 00:31:48,670 --> 00:31:53,140 ...have been murdered and replaced by evil robots from the future. 308 00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:55,060 You totally did it, dude! 309 00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:57,140 I totally possessed my dad. 310 00:32:02,270 --> 00:32:03,440 Okay. 311 00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:09,280 You have to arrest these robots so they don't ruin everything for us. 312 00:32:09,530 --> 00:32:12,030 I mean, my son and Bill. 313 00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:16,910 And, most importantly, they don't hurt the babes. 314 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,540 The princesses. 315 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,170 This isn't working. 316 00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:26,000 - Back me up, dude. - You got it, dude. 317 00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:40,770 I totally believe you, dude. 318 00:32:43,350 --> 00:32:46,770 - Doughnuts! - Excellent! 319 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,610 Savory cruller. 320 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,740 - I got really hungry being dead. - Yeah! 321 00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:57,160 I don't think they believe us. 322 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,040 We have to find someone who will. 323 00:33:01,910 --> 00:33:04,580 Catch you later, cop dudes! 324 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,930 Ted, we can't go like this. 325 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,570 Thanks, Dad. 326 00:33:29,570 --> 00:33:33,280 - Good morning. - Sergeant. 327 00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:39,870 Gandhi. 328 00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,500 Anne Boleyn. 329 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,000 Aristotle. 330 00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:49,590 President Chester A. Arthur. 331 00:33:51,050 --> 00:33:52,840 Clark Gable. 332 00:33:53,550 --> 00:33:55,180 Charlemagne. 333 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,600 And I would like to contact Ty Cobb. 334 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,940 - Has this séance stuff ever worked? - No. 335 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,780 But it will today, dude. 336 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,450 O great spirits from the netherworld... 337 00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:26,540 ...leave your celestial abode and speak upon us... 338 00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:29,960 ...with your life lessons. 339 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,020 I feel the spirits have arrived! 340 00:34:43,140 --> 00:34:45,060 How's it going... 341 00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:48,190 ...New Age dudes? 342 00:34:48,900 --> 00:34:51,900 Spirits, can you hear me? 343 00:34:54,990 --> 00:34:57,240 And we can see down your... 344 00:34:57,490 --> 00:35:00,320 It's your mom, dude! 345 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:05,330 You're right! Move over, dude. 346 00:35:06,540 --> 00:35:09,750 Spirits, what have you to say to us? 347 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,630 The princesses are in trouble. 348 00:35:15,670 --> 00:35:19,260 Ted and his most excellent friend Bill... 349 00:35:19,470 --> 00:35:21,220 ...were killed! 350 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,350 - Listen to us. - Beware! 351 00:35:30,940 --> 00:35:33,320 O evil spirits from Hell... 352 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,690 ...I send you back into the darkness! 353 00:35:40,030 --> 00:35:44,490 - What's she doing? - I don't know, but it's not good. 354 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,620 No way! 355 00:36:46,140 --> 00:36:48,980 This is a totally deep hole. 356 00:36:52,230 --> 00:36:55,400 - Now what? - I don't know. 357 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,710 - You wanna play 20 Questions? - Okay. I got one. 358 00:37:14,170 --> 00:37:15,670 Are you a mineral? 359 00:37:18,340 --> 00:37:20,130 Are you a tank? 360 00:37:21,550 --> 00:37:22,800 Good one! 361 00:37:26,890 --> 00:37:30,060 - Not bad! - Can we do it again? 362 00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:35,440 I'm working as hard as I can! 363 00:37:35,690 --> 00:37:37,650 No way! 364 00:37:41,690 --> 00:37:45,660 This is not what I expected this place to look like. 365 00:37:45,950 --> 00:37:49,740 We got totally lied to by our album covers, man. 366 00:38:02,470 --> 00:38:04,010 Who's that? 367 00:38:04,430 --> 00:38:07,800 Ted, who do you think it is, dude? 368 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,640 How do we get his attention? 369 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,270 Sign of the devil, dude! 370 00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:21,780 - Hey, Devil dude! - Down here! 371 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:24,200 Down here, dude! 372 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,200 Two little guys! 373 00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:29,450 Big dude! Down here! 374 00:38:42,170 --> 00:38:44,050 I kind of like this. 375 00:38:46,130 --> 00:38:47,840 Excellent! 376 00:38:49,850 --> 00:38:51,760 Let's get out of here. 377 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,900 Ted, if I die, you can have my Megadeth collection. 378 00:39:02,070 --> 00:39:04,530 But, dude, we're already dead! 379 00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:09,910 - Well, then they're yours, dude. - Whoa! Thanks, dude. 380 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,850 How's it going, Beelzebub? 381 00:39:34,890 --> 00:39:37,270 Okay. Can we go now? 382 00:39:38,020 --> 00:39:40,520 You may go. 383 00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:46,070 Thanks, dude! 384 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:51,070 You know, you got a bad rap, but you're actually an okay dude! 385 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:08,220 - Where are we? - I don't know. 386 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,850 Maybe we should try one of these tunnels. 387 00:40:20,730 --> 00:40:23,360 - Where are we? - I don't know. 388 00:40:24,150 --> 00:40:26,820 Maybe we should try one of these doors. 389 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,200 After you, dude. 390 00:40:42,210 --> 00:40:43,960 Now where are we? 391 00:40:47,260 --> 00:40:48,340 Who's that? 392 00:40:53,140 --> 00:40:54,430 It's Colonel Oats! 393 00:40:55,140 --> 00:40:56,760 No way! 394 00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:58,810 Gentlemen! 395 00:41:00,770 --> 00:41:03,520 Welcome to Hell. 396 00:41:03,770 --> 00:41:06,270 - No way. - What?! 397 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,070 No way, sir? 398 00:41:08,230 --> 00:41:10,070 You two... 399 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,740 ...will do whatever I tell you to do... 400 00:41:14,990 --> 00:41:17,870 ...from now on. 401 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,460 Is that clear? 402 00:41:21,540 --> 00:41:24,830 - Yes, sir, dude! - What?! 403 00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:28,340 - Yes, dude, sir! - What?! 404 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,760 Yes, sir, sir dude! 405 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,760 Get down and give me... 406 00:41:33,970 --> 00:41:36,140 ...infinity. 407 00:41:39,350 --> 00:41:43,640 Stupid, pathetic, craven little cretins. 408 00:41:44,770 --> 00:41:50,110 - I can't possibly do infinity pushups! - Pitiful little morons. 409 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,030 - Maybe we can do girls' style. - Jokers! 410 00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:57,660 You petty, base, bully, bullock, bugger billies. 411 00:41:57,870 --> 00:42:01,620 You're not strong! You're silky boys! 412 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:06,330 Silk comes from the butts of Chinese worms. 413 00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:11,760 - We gotta get out of here. - I'll eat you up like butter cakes. 414 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,380 Get back here! 415 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:19,890 - Dude. - What? 416 00:42:20,140 --> 00:42:22,850 I think we're in our own personal hell. 417 00:42:23,060 --> 00:42:27,190 - Let's split up. - That way he can't get us so bad. 418 00:42:47,580 --> 00:42:49,540 What happened? 419 00:43:16,490 --> 00:43:18,280 Bogus! 420 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:50,350 Granny S. Preston, Esquire. 421 00:43:50,610 --> 00:43:52,070 No way. 422 00:44:02,410 --> 00:44:03,450 Theodore! 423 00:44:05,580 --> 00:44:07,500 You made your brother cry. 424 00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,670 How about... 425 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,710 ...a kiss... 426 00:44:12,250 --> 00:44:16,840 ...for your dear old granny, Bill? 427 00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:25,140 Come along. 428 00:44:32,940 --> 00:44:35,820 You stole Deacon's Easter basket. 429 00:44:36,030 --> 00:44:39,530 No way. This was 10 years ago! 430 00:44:48,370 --> 00:44:49,410 Come here! 431 00:44:54,170 --> 00:44:58,050 That was non, non, non... Non-heinous! 432 00:44:58,260 --> 00:44:59,550 Choose... 433 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,010 ...your... 434 00:45:01,260 --> 00:45:03,340 ...eternity. 435 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,060 Choose your own, you fag! 436 00:45:18,820 --> 00:45:23,700 You ugly, red source of all evil! 437 00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:33,370 Hello, girls. 438 00:45:43,010 --> 00:45:44,180 - Dude. - What? 439 00:45:44,260 --> 00:45:46,470 - Hell sucks! - Definitely! 440 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:51,430 - You no-nosed salamanders! - Deac's Easter basket! 441 00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,440 Come to Oatsie! 442 00:46:00,860 --> 00:46:03,030 I want one right on the lips! 443 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:09,620 - There's only one way out! - Right. We gotta play the Reaper! 444 00:46:16,330 --> 00:46:18,880 Choose your game. 445 00:46:19,380 --> 00:46:21,630 But if you lose... 446 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,550 ...you will stay here in Hell... 447 00:46:25,380 --> 00:46:27,140 ...forever. 448 00:46:43,950 --> 00:46:46,280 D-1. 449 00:46:50,910 --> 00:46:51,910 Miss. 450 00:47:01,130 --> 00:47:02,460 B... 451 00:47:02,710 --> 00:47:03,840 ...3. 452 00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:07,010 Miss. 453 00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:11,390 C-6. 454 00:47:15,770 --> 00:47:16,980 Hit. 455 00:47:20,860 --> 00:47:23,610 - Dude... - I know. 456 00:47:30,410 --> 00:47:32,790 J-7. 457 00:47:33,830 --> 00:47:35,960 J-7... 458 00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:38,500 Hit. 459 00:47:40,330 --> 00:47:44,340 A hit. You have sunk my battleship. 460 00:47:45,050 --> 00:47:46,050 Excellent! 461 00:47:48,510 --> 00:47:51,680 - I knew he put it in the J's. - Good thinking. 462 00:47:51,890 --> 00:47:53,850 You must play me again. 463 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:58,520 - What?! - Best two out of three. 464 00:47:58,730 --> 00:47:59,980 No way! 465 00:48:03,860 --> 00:48:05,740 Yes way. 466 00:48:14,330 --> 00:48:16,450 - What's he doing? - I don't know. 467 00:48:27,130 --> 00:48:29,260 I believe... 468 00:48:29,470 --> 00:48:33,600 ...Col. Mustard did it in the study with the candlestick. 469 00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:45,150 Sorry, Death. You lose. It was Professor Plum. 470 00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:49,320 - I said "Plum." - No way. You said "Mustard!" 471 00:48:49,530 --> 00:48:50,910 Can we go back now? 472 00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:54,910 Best three out of five. 473 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,330 I don't believe this guy. 474 00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:12,760 - Best of seven? - Damn right! 475 00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,680 Right hand, green. 476 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,610 Left hand, red. 477 00:49:30,950 --> 00:49:33,110 Right foot, green. 478 00:49:33,740 --> 00:49:35,200 Right foot... 479 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:02,770 Well? 480 00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:09,360 I will... 481 00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:12,780 ...take you back. 482 00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:24,790 - You played very well. - Especially with your heavy robes. 483 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,830 Don't patronize me. 484 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,300 Whatever. You got a lot to learn about sportsmanship. 485 00:50:32,420 --> 00:50:33,930 This way. 486 00:50:35,010 --> 00:50:36,930 Now we can save the babes. 487 00:50:37,140 --> 00:50:41,140 But, Bill, how will we fight those other usses? 488 00:50:41,350 --> 00:50:45,440 They're totally stronger than us. And way smarter. 489 00:50:45,650 --> 00:50:48,560 Plus, they already killed us once. 490 00:50:50,070 --> 00:50:51,860 One minute, duder! 491 00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:57,490 If we were good human usses and we had to fight two evil robot usses... 492 00:50:57,700 --> 00:51:01,290 ...what would we do? - Make good robot usses? 493 00:51:01,490 --> 00:51:04,000 Good thinking, dude! 494 00:51:04,330 --> 00:51:05,420 Excuse us. 495 00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:08,460 - Excuse me, Death? - Oh, now what? 496 00:51:08,630 --> 00:51:11,920 Could you take us to someone who could help us? 497 00:51:12,130 --> 00:51:15,550 You have beaten me. I am at your command. 498 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,050 Cool! 499 00:51:17,220 --> 00:51:18,930 This way. 500 00:51:20,430 --> 00:51:22,180 - Ted. - What? 501 00:51:22,390 --> 00:51:24,430 Don't fear the Reaper. 502 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,480 I heard that. 503 00:51:39,950 --> 00:51:42,830 This is most atypical. 504 00:52:07,310 --> 00:52:08,980 Welcome to Heaven. 505 00:52:11,230 --> 00:52:13,190 I'm sure I'll enjoy it. 506 00:52:13,860 --> 00:52:15,150 Thank you. 507 00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:18,530 Through there. 508 00:52:18,740 --> 00:52:20,410 Welcome to Heaven. 509 00:52:21,620 --> 00:52:23,660 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 510 00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:29,540 "Only the most serene and enlightened souls shall gain audience." 511 00:52:29,750 --> 00:52:31,830 Dude, we're in big trouble. 512 00:52:34,300 --> 00:52:36,340 I think I have an idea. 513 00:52:45,310 --> 00:52:47,020 Wise dudes. 514 00:52:47,310 --> 00:52:49,390 Can we ask you a question? 515 00:52:49,980 --> 00:52:51,770 Right this way, please. 516 00:53:02,570 --> 00:53:06,160 We're in Heaven, and we just mugged three people. 517 00:53:06,370 --> 00:53:09,660 We better leave before we ruin it for everybody. 518 00:53:12,630 --> 00:53:14,460 Come on, Death. 519 00:53:15,380 --> 00:53:17,340 You look great, dude. 520 00:53:18,630 --> 00:53:20,260 You think so? 521 00:53:25,220 --> 00:53:26,760 You do. 522 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,310 Shut up. 523 00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:34,940 - Come on, dude. - It's not funny. 524 00:53:35,690 --> 00:53:38,110 I can't believe I'm doing this. 525 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,280 How did I end up in this situation? 526 00:54:00,970 --> 00:54:02,180 How's it going? 527 00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,800 What is the meaning of life? 528 00:54:15,940 --> 00:54:20,030 Every rose has its thorn 529 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:24,360 Just like every night has its dawn 530 00:54:24,530 --> 00:54:27,580 Just like every cowboy 531 00:54:27,700 --> 00:54:32,000 Sings a sad, sad song 532 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,170 Every rose has a thorn 533 00:54:42,590 --> 00:54:44,050 Don't I know you? 534 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,010 No. 535 00:55:29,180 --> 00:55:32,890 So, God, as if you didn't know... 536 00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:38,100 ...we're not the three wise people you might have thought we were. 537 00:55:38,270 --> 00:55:42,650 We mugged three people and took their clothes. Sorry. 538 00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:46,530 - I'm Bill S. Preston. - I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. 539 00:55:46,740 --> 00:55:51,410 Together, we are Wyld Stallyns! 540 00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:55,830 This lovely lady is the Grim Reaper. 541 00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,330 He brought us when we challenged him and won. 542 00:56:01,670 --> 00:56:06,760 First, congratulations on Earth! It's a most excellent planet. 543 00:56:06,970 --> 00:56:11,850 - We enjoy it on a daily basis. - Not to mention your other planets. 544 00:56:12,050 --> 00:56:16,020 Mars, Jupiter, Uranus. 545 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:22,110 But the point is, we died. 546 00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,780 Most unfairly. 547 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,990 But we won the chance to come back. 548 00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,990 We gotta construct something to save the women we love. 549 00:56:32,660 --> 00:56:36,250 And there's not a lot of time. So we were wondering... 550 00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:39,960 ...could you help us find somebody to help us? 551 00:56:40,710 --> 00:56:43,130 Station. 552 00:56:43,590 --> 00:56:46,260 We were thinking along the lines... 553 00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:49,720 ...of maybe a scientist or something. 554 00:57:03,190 --> 00:57:04,610 Cool. 555 00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:09,650 Thanks, God. 556 00:57:09,950 --> 00:57:13,740 Yeah. You're a just and noble creator. 557 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,620 - We'll be going now. - Keep up the good work. 558 00:57:18,830 --> 00:57:20,920 Catch you later, God. 559 00:57:31,220 --> 00:57:35,050 Sorry. They melvined me. 560 00:57:40,890 --> 00:57:43,940 All right, upside-down cake! 561 00:57:44,110 --> 00:57:46,900 - Hey, Evil Ted. - What? 562 00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:53,950 We're out of dishes. 563 00:57:55,410 --> 00:57:57,370 Check this out. 564 00:58:00,790 --> 00:58:03,290 Not bad, E.T. 565 00:58:05,460 --> 00:58:06,710 Let me try. 566 00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:16,180 You totally didn't see the fan. 567 00:58:21,310 --> 00:58:24,520 Tell my body to get over here and get me! 568 00:58:24,980 --> 00:58:27,900 That's all right. I'll get you. 569 00:58:29,530 --> 00:58:31,990 Got your head, dude. 570 00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:37,530 I'm totally gonna tackle you, dude. 571 00:58:40,830 --> 00:58:45,670 - Touchdown for Evil Ted! - We're total headbangers. 572 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:52,260 Come on. There you go. 573 00:58:58,180 --> 00:59:02,060 Stop wasting time. Proceed with the plan now. 574 00:59:02,310 --> 00:59:04,020 Okay, dude. 575 00:59:05,020 --> 00:59:08,400 What do you say we trash their relationships? 576 00:59:11,070 --> 00:59:12,610 I hate them. 577 00:59:12,820 --> 00:59:15,990 I hate the robot versions of them. 578 00:59:16,490 --> 00:59:18,410 You made us, dude. 579 00:59:25,500 --> 00:59:27,920 Looks like this is the place. 580 00:59:28,170 --> 00:59:31,050 Now all we gotta do is find that scientist. 581 00:59:32,090 --> 00:59:35,680 - What kind of name is Station? - I don't know. 582 00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,220 Must be some kind of future guy. 583 00:59:43,890 --> 00:59:45,940 Okay, how many syllables? 584 00:59:48,100 --> 00:59:50,400 Is it a play or a song or...? 585 00:59:52,610 --> 00:59:54,070 It's something big. 586 00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,950 My money's on Einstein. 587 01:00:00,660 --> 01:00:02,200 That's Station? 588 01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:06,410 Did you assume the most brilliant scientist... 589 01:00:06,540 --> 01:00:10,380 ...in the universe would be from Earth? 590 01:00:11,420 --> 01:00:12,880 Yeah. 591 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,470 Movies? 592 01:00:20,430 --> 01:00:22,810 - Nine words. - Good, Mr. Franklin. 593 01:00:23,010 --> 01:00:25,350 Fire? Cigarettes? 594 01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,190 - Clouds, clouds. - Smoke? 595 01:00:29,270 --> 01:00:32,570 Butch and Sundance: The Early Years. 596 01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:41,820 - Death! - Sorry. 597 01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:48,160 Smokey and the Bandit III. 598 01:00:48,330 --> 01:00:51,210 Smokey is the bandit! 599 01:01:00,550 --> 01:01:03,430 Excuse us. Martians? 600 01:01:04,100 --> 01:01:07,480 First, my friend, Bill and I congratulate you... 601 01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,730 ...on a well-played round of charades. 602 01:01:10,980 --> 01:01:13,190 You've been referred to us... 603 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:17,280 ...as the most brilliant scientists in the universe. 604 01:01:18,860 --> 01:01:21,910 Would you help us build good robot usses... 605 01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,990 ...to save two princesses from bad robot usses? 606 01:01:35,420 --> 01:01:37,630 Sounds good, Station. 607 01:01:41,300 --> 01:01:43,180 Let's rock, Death. 608 01:02:11,540 --> 01:02:14,330 - We're alive. - Yeah. 609 01:02:14,460 --> 01:02:19,010 But I think a buzzard was pecking at my head. 610 01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,140 Dinner's over, worm-dude. 611 01:02:30,810 --> 01:02:32,640 You guys okay? 612 01:02:34,150 --> 01:02:35,980 Where's Death? 613 01:02:45,110 --> 01:02:46,490 You okay, dude? 614 01:02:50,290 --> 01:02:52,290 I'm fine. 615 01:02:59,300 --> 01:03:02,720 First, we go back to town and clean up. 616 01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,260 Second, we warn the princesses. 617 01:03:05,430 --> 01:03:09,350 Third, we buy stuff to build good robot usses. 618 01:03:11,350 --> 01:03:13,060 Let's go. 619 01:03:16,100 --> 01:03:18,230 What? What? 620 01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:36,540 Here, kitty, kitty! Here, kitty, kitty! 621 01:03:36,790 --> 01:03:38,460 There's one, dude! 622 01:03:40,340 --> 01:03:42,260 Just missed, dude. 623 01:03:43,090 --> 01:03:45,430 Dude, we're there. 624 01:03:45,590 --> 01:03:47,340 Okay. I got an idea. 625 01:04:08,740 --> 01:04:11,120 How's it going, lady humans? 626 01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:42,900 Okay, this is Builders Emporium... 627 01:04:43,110 --> 01:04:47,030 ...a repository for electronics and robot materials. 628 01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:50,700 Get what you need to make metal usses. 629 01:04:54,540 --> 01:04:58,710 - Ready for the big night? - No! We're not going. 630 01:05:01,420 --> 01:05:04,500 I think you guys should stop right there. 631 01:05:05,590 --> 01:05:08,010 Catch you later, future wife. 632 01:05:10,380 --> 01:05:11,970 Evil breath! 633 01:05:12,260 --> 01:05:13,300 Who are you? 634 01:05:13,470 --> 01:05:15,600 Well, you see... 635 01:05:27,690 --> 01:05:29,030 Come on. 636 01:05:30,950 --> 01:05:34,660 - Any luck? - They're not at our place or theirs. 637 01:05:34,870 --> 01:05:39,330 I'll try your dad's. Maybe they went to talk to Missy. 638 01:05:48,340 --> 01:05:49,800 Logan residence. 639 01:05:50,050 --> 01:05:53,390 Evil Bill S. Preston, Esquire, speaking. 640 01:05:55,930 --> 01:05:59,350 It's them! They're back from the dead. 641 01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,770 We get to kill them again. 642 01:06:02,020 --> 01:06:03,230 Excellent! 643 01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,500 See you real soon. 644 01:06:25,380 --> 01:06:28,630 - But this time we're ready for you! - Yeah! 645 01:06:32,260 --> 01:06:34,720 We can be ready for them too. 646 01:06:34,970 --> 01:06:38,010 Good luck getting in the concert, losers! 647 01:06:44,690 --> 01:06:48,360 - Initiate the final plan. - You got it, great one. 648 01:06:49,980 --> 01:06:52,450 Do not fail me. 649 01:06:53,450 --> 01:06:55,030 Metallic buffoons. 650 01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:04,250 - That other me is a dick. - Yeah. 651 01:07:06,380 --> 01:07:09,340 I hope the Stations know what they're doing. 652 01:07:28,820 --> 01:07:31,280 Station! What are you doing? 653 01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:37,240 Dudes! This is no time to be playing games! 654 01:09:57,340 --> 01:09:59,340 That one's me, right? 655 01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:04,470 Not bad. 656 01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,270 How's it going, Good Robot Bill? 657 01:10:08,100 --> 01:10:09,980 How's it doing? 658 01:10:21,950 --> 01:10:23,780 Kate Axelrod for KJM... 659 01:10:23,990 --> 01:10:27,910 ... reporting live from the San Dimas Auditorium. 660 01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:31,250 We're rocking at the Battle of the Bands. 661 01:10:31,460 --> 01:10:34,880 So stay tuned and hold tight until we find out... 662 01:10:35,130 --> 01:10:38,340 ... who will be your winner. 663 01:10:48,390 --> 01:10:49,810 Ready? You're up. 664 01:10:50,020 --> 01:10:51,430 Where are the girls? 665 01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:55,980 - Hanging from the rafters. - We'll kill them at the finale. 666 01:10:56,860 --> 01:10:58,860 Good luck, gentlemen. 667 01:11:05,530 --> 01:11:07,080 Check it out. 668 01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:10,540 Not bad. 669 01:11:36,150 --> 01:11:39,440 Let's hear it for Primus! 670 01:12:17,150 --> 01:12:19,730 - Are they ready? - Station. 671 01:12:19,940 --> 01:12:21,820 Excellent work, dude. 672 01:12:21,940 --> 01:12:26,030 - What about me? I made the wigs. - Okay, Death. 673 01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:29,620 I helped do the shopping. I pushed the cart. 674 01:12:29,700 --> 01:12:33,040 - Do they work like we asked? - Station. 675 01:12:36,460 --> 01:12:39,580 You're a most excellent scientist. 676 01:12:40,250 --> 01:12:43,840 Plus, you got an excellently huge Martian butt. 677 01:12:49,390 --> 01:12:52,930 Feel free to split in two parts again and relax. 678 01:12:53,140 --> 01:12:57,480 Don't overlook my butt. I work out all the time. 679 01:12:57,690 --> 01:13:00,730 And reaping burns a lot of calories. 680 01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:10,240 Ready to take on those evil usses and save the babes? 681 01:13:11,910 --> 01:13:15,870 Fight evil usses. Save the babes. 682 01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,830 - Ready, Bill? - Ready, Ted. 683 01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:21,960 Let's go get 'em. 684 01:13:22,170 --> 01:13:24,920 And now, the last band of the evening. 685 01:13:25,130 --> 01:13:27,920 Wyld Stallyns! 686 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:40,980 How's it going, worms? 687 01:13:41,480 --> 01:13:44,190 I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire! 688 01:13:44,440 --> 01:13:47,070 And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan! 689 01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:52,030 Together, we are Wyld Stallyns! 690 01:13:53,620 --> 01:13:55,740 Hold it right there! 691 01:13:58,830 --> 01:14:01,120 We're Wyld Stallyns! 692 01:14:01,370 --> 01:14:05,210 No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns! 693 01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,930 You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds! 694 01:14:12,180 --> 01:14:14,720 Yeah, and we're gonna do it again! 695 01:14:14,930 --> 01:14:18,770 Plus, we're gonna totally kill your girlfriends. 696 01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:30,320 Don't worry, babes! We'll save you. 697 01:14:32,990 --> 01:14:36,530 Everybody, say hello to Station's creation! 698 01:14:36,830 --> 01:14:39,790 Good Robot Bill and Ted! 699 01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:55,260 We may have met our match. 700 01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,640 Kudos to you, good human usses. 701 01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:04,980 - Catch you later, Bill and Ted! - Catch you later, Bill and Ted! 702 01:15:41,350 --> 01:15:43,600 - Elizabeth! - Theodore! 703 01:15:44,140 --> 01:15:46,980 - Joanna! - William! 704 01:16:00,030 --> 01:16:01,830 Who is that? 705 01:16:19,430 --> 01:16:20,470 Who are you? 706 01:16:21,640 --> 01:16:23,350 Who am I? 707 01:16:30,310 --> 01:16:33,030 I am De Nomolos. 708 01:16:34,070 --> 01:16:36,030 I am their master. 709 01:16:37,610 --> 01:16:41,030 And I must see to it that you die. 710 01:16:43,750 --> 01:16:45,460 But first... 711 01:17:10,860 --> 01:17:15,940 We are now transmitting on every channel throughout the world. 712 01:17:16,440 --> 01:17:18,320 My word! 713 01:17:22,870 --> 01:17:26,080 I want the whole universe to behold this... 714 01:17:26,290 --> 01:17:28,960 ... transfer of power. 715 01:17:30,370 --> 01:17:33,420 No longer will our future society... 716 01:17:33,630 --> 01:17:36,800 ... be based on the ideas and the music... 717 01:17:37,050 --> 01:17:39,510 ... of these two fools! 718 01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:45,100 They will be based on my ideas... 719 01:17:47,060 --> 01:17:49,520 ...and my ideas alone! 720 01:17:50,900 --> 01:17:53,900 How do we get out of this? There's no time. 721 01:17:54,020 --> 01:17:57,820 We do. After we get away from this guy... 722 01:17:57,990 --> 01:18:03,070 ...we time-travel back and set up the things we need to get him now. 723 01:18:03,240 --> 01:18:05,160 Yeah, like what? 724 01:18:05,830 --> 01:18:07,830 Like a sandbag. 725 01:18:13,710 --> 01:18:15,090 Excellent! 726 01:18:15,290 --> 01:18:17,380 Then we'll get a cage. 727 01:18:24,890 --> 01:18:26,430 My friends. 728 01:18:27,100 --> 01:18:29,560 I too can play the time game. 729 01:18:29,770 --> 01:18:33,020 If you do that, once I have vanquished you... 730 01:18:33,270 --> 01:18:37,360 ...I'll go back and set up this key. 731 01:18:47,830 --> 01:18:50,540 And another gun. 732 01:19:00,340 --> 01:19:04,220 Right. Only there's one thing you didn't think of. 733 01:19:04,470 --> 01:19:07,640 Only the winners can go back and set things up. 734 01:19:07,850 --> 01:19:09,850 And that's gonna be us. 735 01:19:10,060 --> 01:19:14,100 We set up the key, and we set up the gun. 736 01:19:16,690 --> 01:19:18,650 Excuse me. 737 01:19:18,860 --> 01:19:21,820 Your shoelaces are untied. 738 01:19:28,660 --> 01:19:29,910 Melvined. 739 01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:45,430 You're under arrest. 740 01:19:45,550 --> 01:19:47,350 Way to go, Dad! 741 01:19:52,140 --> 01:19:54,020 Book him, Danno. 742 01:20:01,070 --> 01:20:02,690 Good job, Death. 743 01:20:07,950 --> 01:20:09,660 Who was that guy? 744 01:20:09,870 --> 01:20:13,000 I can answer that question. 745 01:20:13,330 --> 01:20:15,580 Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help. 746 01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:18,330 We definitely... 747 01:20:19,040 --> 01:20:21,050 Take it off, baby! 748 01:20:29,550 --> 01:20:31,100 Rufus! 749 01:20:31,310 --> 01:20:32,600 When did you get here? 750 01:20:32,970 --> 01:20:35,180 Just in time for your audition. 751 01:20:35,520 --> 01:20:38,860 So you were Ms. Wardroe all along. 752 01:20:39,730 --> 01:20:42,730 Would anyone else have let you in this contest? 753 01:20:46,740 --> 01:20:49,990 That was Chuck De Nomolos, my old gym teacher. 754 01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:54,700 And, by the way, sit-up champion of the 27th century. 755 01:20:54,870 --> 01:20:59,420 And now, gentlemen, I believe the stage belongs to you. 756 01:20:59,580 --> 01:21:00,960 Thanks, Rufus. 757 01:21:14,100 --> 01:21:16,730 Dude, we still don't know how to play. 758 01:21:17,230 --> 01:21:19,400 Maybe we ought to get good. 759 01:21:19,650 --> 01:21:20,860 How? 760 01:21:43,130 --> 01:21:47,300 That was a fast 16 months of intensive guitar training. 761 01:21:48,510 --> 01:21:51,720 Except for the two-week medieval honeymoon. 762 01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:56,100 Hello, San Dimas! 763 01:21:57,430 --> 01:21:59,770 Let me introduce you to a little friend. 764 01:22:00,060 --> 01:22:01,730 This is little Ted. 765 01:22:02,310 --> 01:22:04,690 Hello, little Ted! 766 01:22:04,900 --> 01:22:06,820 This is little Bill. 767 01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:13,490 Now for the rest of our band. 768 01:22:16,740 --> 01:22:21,500 On conga and bongos, proof that you can't tell a book by its cover... 769 01:22:21,750 --> 01:22:24,420 ...the dude who can make one word mean anything... 770 01:22:24,670 --> 01:22:26,590 ...Station! 771 01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:33,220 Our backup dancers... 772 01:22:33,430 --> 01:22:36,140 ...Station's most bodacious creations... 773 01:22:36,310 --> 01:22:39,100 ...the Good Robot Usses! 774 01:22:45,480 --> 01:22:46,650 And over here... 775 01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:49,820 ...our bass player, the Duke of Spooks... 776 01:22:50,070 --> 01:22:52,780 ...the Doc of Shocks, the Man With No Tan... 777 01:22:52,990 --> 01:22:55,870 ...please say hello to Death himself... 778 01:22:56,120 --> 01:22:57,870 ...the Grim Reaper! 779 01:23:05,670 --> 01:23:08,340 You might be a king Or a little street sweeper 780 01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:11,920 But sooner or later You dance with the Reaper 781 01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:19,390 Get down with your bad self! 782 01:23:25,980 --> 01:23:28,650 I love show business. 783 01:23:29,860 --> 01:23:31,690 Ladies and gentlemen... 784 01:23:32,320 --> 01:23:34,410 ...we've been to the past. 785 01:23:34,740 --> 01:23:36,620 We've been to the future. 786 01:23:36,990 --> 01:23:39,410 We've been all around the afterlife. 787 01:23:39,990 --> 01:23:41,450 And you know... 788 01:23:43,540 --> 01:23:45,500 The best place to be... 789 01:23:48,420 --> 01:23:49,840 ...is here. 790 01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:52,800 And the best time to be... 791 01:23:53,300 --> 01:23:54,760 ...is now. 792 01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:03,310 And all we can say is... 793 01:24:05,270 --> 01:24:06,520 ...let's rock! 794 01:24:07,730 --> 01:24:09,320 One! Two! 795 01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:12,280 One, two, three, four! 796 01:25:36,690 --> 01:25:39,490 Right good! Right good! 797 01:28:12,060 --> 01:28:14,020 You are go, Stallyn! 798 01:28:15,020 --> 01:28:17,360 Come home soon. We'll miss you.