1 00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:07,374 Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL 2 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:09,542 ♪ I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 3 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,277 ♪ GONNA HAVE MYSELF A TIME ♪ 4 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,013 ♪ FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE ♪ 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,748 ♪ HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION ♪ 6 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,049 ♪ GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 7 00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,784 ♪ GONNA LEAVE MY WOES BEHIND ♪ 8 00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:19,519 ♪ AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT ♪ 9 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,254 ♪ PEOPLE SPOUTING "HOWDY NEIGHBOR" ♪ 10 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:22,555 ♪ HEADIN' ON UP TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 11 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:24,724 ♪ GONNA SEE IF I CAN'T UNWIND ♪ 12 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,761 ♪ ( muffled mumble muffled mumble ) ♪ 13 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,496 ♪ SO COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 14 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,231 ♪ AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE ♪♪ 15 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:34,934 ♪ SCHOOL DAYS SCHOOL DAYS ♪ 16 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:36,236 ♪ TEACHER'S GOLDEN RULE DAYS ♪ 17 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:37,537 AW, DAMMIT ! WHAT ? 18 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,706 MY GOD DAMN BROTHER IS TRYING TO FOLLOW ME TO SCHOOL AGAIN ! 19 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,007 SUCK MY BALLS. 20 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,176 NO, IKE, YOU CAN'T COME TO SCHOOL WITH ME ! 21 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:44,477 YEAH, GO HOME, YOU LITTLE DILDO ! 22 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,646 DUDE, FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T CALL MY BROTHER A DILDO ! 23 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:49,249 ALRIGHT, GO HOME YOU LITTLE SEMEN-PUKING, ASSHOLE DICKHEAD. 24 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:50,550 OW ! 25 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,285 DUDE, SWEET ! 26 00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,586 YEAH, CHECK IT OUT. 27 00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:55,321 READY, IKE ? KICK THE BABY ! 28 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,924 DON'T KICK THE GOD DAMN BABY. 29 00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,659 WAH-- AH ! 30 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:00,960 WOAH, CARTMAN, 31 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,695 LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT. 32 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:03,997 THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS HAVING THESE 33 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,732 BOGUS NIGHTMARES ALL NIGHT LONG. 34 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,033 REALLY ? WHAT ABOUT ? 35 00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:09,636 WELL, I DREAMT THAT I WAS LYING IN MY BED, IN THE DARK... 36 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:13,106 WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS BRIGHT BLUE LIGHT FILLED THE ROOM. 37 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,708 AND SLOWLY, MY BEDROOM DOOR BEGAN TO OPEN. 38 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:17,010 AND THEN THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER 39 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:18,745 I WAS BEING DRUG THROUGH A HALLWAY ! 40 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,046 WEEEE ! 41 00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:22,215 THEN THESE SCARY ALIENS WANTED TO OPERATE ON ME ! 42 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,251 THEY HAD BIG HEADS AND BIG BLACK EYES-- 43 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,553 DUDE, VISITORS ! TOTALLY ! 44 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,854 WHAT ? 45 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,155 THAT WASN'T A DREAM, CARTMAN, THOSE WERE VISITORS ! 46 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,457 NO, IT WAS JUST A DREAM, MY MOM SAID SO. 47 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,192 VISITORS ARE REAL ! THEY-- 48 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:35,228 WAIT A MINUTE, THIS HAS ALL HAPPENED BEFORE. 49 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,963 YEAH. THIS DOES SEEM REALLY FAMILIAR. 50 00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,132 WHAT THEFUNK AND WAGNALLS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? 51 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,734 CARTMAN, DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU HAD THIS DREAM ? 52 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,903 SHUT UP YOU GUYS, YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SCARE ME. 53 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:45,638 NO, DUDE, THIS HAPPENED BEFORE ! 54 00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:46,940 ALIENS PUT SOME DEVICE IN YOU, 55 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,675 AND THEN WE TIED YOU TO A TREE AND YOU WENT UP ON THEIR SHIP. 56 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:49,542 YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT ? 57 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:50,844 NO, I DON'T REMEMBER THAT ! 58 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,145 YOU DON'T ? 59 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,446 NO, BECAUSE THE ALIENS ERASED MY MEMORY ! 60 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,615 I REMEMBER THIS WHOLE THING. 61 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,350 IKE TRIED TO FOLLOW YOU TO SCHOOL, YOU KICKED HIM, 62 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,085 THEN CARTMAN TOLD US ABOUT HIS ALIEN DREAM. 63 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,688 YEAH, AND THEN CHEF PULLED UP IN HIS CAR. 64 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:04,290 HELLO THERE, CHILDREN ! 65 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:07,327 AND THEN YOU SAID-- 66 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,496 WHAT'S GONNA BE FOR LUNCH TODAY, CHEF ? 67 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:12,098 WELL, TODAY IT'S SALISBURY STEAK WITH HOT BUTTERED NOODLES 68 00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:13,399 ( all ) AND A CHOICE OF GREEN BEAN SALAD 69 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,135 OR VEGETABLE MEDLEY. 70 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,002 WEIRD. 71 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,303 SAY, DID ANY OF YOU CHILDREN-- 72 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,605 SEE THE ALIEN SPACESHIP LAST NIGHT ? 73 00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:20,340 WHAT THE-- ? 74 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,509 CHEF, WE'RE IN A REPEAT ! 75 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,376 A REPEAT ? 76 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,111 CARTMAN WAS VISITED BY ALIENS AGAIN LAST NIGHT. 77 00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:27,714 AND NOW IT'S LIKE WE'RE LIVING A REPEAT OF A PREVIOUS DAY. 78 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,015 OH, DUDE, I HATE REPEATS. 79 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,618 I'VE BEEN FEELING DEJA VU ALL MORNING, CHILDREN. 80 00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,786 I KNEW SOMETHING STRANGE WAS GOING ON. 81 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,522 IT ALL STARTED WHEN CARTMAN GOT AN ANAL PROBE. 82 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,992 WE HAVE TO GET ERIC TO A PROCTOLOGIST RIGHT AWAY. 83 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:43,329 WHAT IS A PROC-TOLOGIST, CHEF ? 84 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,932 HE'S A DOCTOR THAT SPECIALIZES IN YOUR ASSHOLE, CHILDREN. 85 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,667 YOU MEAN AT SOME POINT IN THIS DOCTOR'S LIFE 86 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,402 HE DECIDED HE WANTED TO WORK ON PEOPLE'S BUTTHOLES ? 87 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,703 THAT'S RIGHT. 88 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,005 WHAT A DICK. 89 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,306 HELLO, EVERYONE. 90 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,607 HELLO, DOCTOR. 91 00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:55,909 THANKS FOR SEEING ERIC ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. 92 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,210 WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM ? 93 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,511 WE JUST WANT YOU TO TAKE A LOOK 94 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,246 AND TELL US IF YOU SEE ANYTHING ABNORMAL. 95 00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,548 OTHER THAN ITS MONSTROUS SIZE. 96 00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:04,584 SHUT UP ! SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH !! 97 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,753 ALRIGHT, LET'S SEE HERE... 98 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,488 OH MY GOD ! 99 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,789 WHAT ? 100 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,524 WHY THERE'S A HUGE CRACK GOING RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE ! 101 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,561 HA, HA, VERY FUNNY. 102 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,729 LIKE WE HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE A ZILLION TIMES. 103 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:18,898 ALRIGHT, LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 104 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,633 HEY ! 105 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,368 JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ? 106 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,971 ERIC, THE DOCTOR HAS TO FEEL INSIDE YOUR RECTUM. 107 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:25,838 AND AFTERWARDS, 108 00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:27,574 HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO BURN HIS HAND AND BURY IT. 109 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,309 KYLE, I SWEAR IF I DIDN'T HAVE A GUY'S HAND UP MY ASS RIGHT NOW, 110 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,477 I'D LEAP ACROSS THE ROOM AND KICK YOU IN THE NUTS. 111 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:34,948 EGH, EH-- OOH. 112 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,683 THE PROSTATE SEEMS TO BE NORMAL... 113 00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:38,418 NO SWELLING OF THE HERMODAL GLAND... 114 00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:40,587 WAIT, WHAT'S THIS ? 115 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:41,888 AAAGH ! 116 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:46,226 ARE YOU OKAY ? 117 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:47,527 DUDE... 118 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,129 YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHEN YOU TAKE A HUGE DUMP ? 119 00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:50,997 AWESOME. 120 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,298 WELL, DOCTOR ? 121 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,467 I'VE NEVER QUITE SEEN THIS BEFORE. 122 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,070 PERHAPS HE JUST NEEDS SOME HEMORRHOID CREAM. 123 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,672 AAAGH ! 124 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:00,974 YOU ALRIGHT ? 125 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,709 YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHEN THE HUGE DUMP YOU JUST TOOK 126 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:04,444 SHOOTS BACK UP INSIDE YOUR ASS ? 127 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,745 NO, I'M NOT ALRIGHT !! 128 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,914 I'VE NEVER SEEN A HEMORRHOID REACT THIS WAY. 129 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,950 THAT WASN'T NO HEMORRHOID, IT WAS A ALIEN HOOP-A-JOO ! 130 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,987 COME ON, CHILDREN, WE'VE GOT TO GET ERIC TO SOME REAL HELP ! 131 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,288 WHERE TO NOW, CHEF ? 132 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,155 THAT THING INSIDE ERIC'S ASSHOLE 133 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,890 LOOKED LIKE SOME KIND OF ALIEN SATELLITE DISH. 134 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:21,361 WE NEED TO SEE MY FRIEND DOWN AT THE SPACE CENTER, NOW ! 135 00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,205 AND YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON I COULD THINK OF 136 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,940 WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP US, JEFF. 137 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,675 HOW DO WE, UH, MAKE IT COME OUT ? 138 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,844 SOMEONE JUST HAS TO ACTIVATE IT LIKE THE PROCTOLOGIST DID. 139 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,145 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO ! 140 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,748 NOBODY IS PUTTING THEIR FINGER IN MY ASS AGAIN ! 141 00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,483 UNLESS IT'S KYLE. 142 00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,218 WHAT ? NO WAY ! 143 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,085 YOU DO IT, KENNY. 144 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,387 NOPE, IT HAS TO BE KYLE. 145 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:48,688 GO ON. 146 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:49,989 I'M NOT PUTTING MY FINGER UP CARTMAN'S BUTT ! 147 00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:53,026 KYLE, THE FATE OF THE WORLD MAY BE AT STAKE. 148 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,628 COME, KYLE, DO HURRY. 149 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,267 GO AHEAD, IT WON'T BITE. 150 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,568 ( farts ) 151 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,171 GOD DAMN IT, CARTMAN ! 152 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:08,207 I COULDN'T RESIST, I'M SORRY. 153 00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:09,075 ( farts ) 154 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,244 STOP IT, CARTMAN ! 155 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,979 OKAY, OKAY. 156 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,280 ( farts ) 157 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,449 GOD DAMMIT ! 158 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,052 MAN, THAT WAS GREAT. 159 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,654 OKAY, GO AHEAD, I'M ALL OUT OF FARTS NOW. 160 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,955 ( farts ) 161 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,691 DURRRR ! 162 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:28,594 OKAY, OKAY, IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. 163 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,896 ( farts ) 164 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,065 OH, YES IT IS ! 165 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,366 ERIC, THAT'S ENOUGH ! 166 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,968 OKAY, OKAY. 167 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,270 ( farts ) 168 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,005 OH, DOUBLE PSYCHE ! 169 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:40,740 THAT'S IT ! 170 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,475 I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FATE OF THE WORLD. 171 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,343 SCREW IT ! 172 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,644 OH, NICE GOING, CARTMAN ! 173 00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:45,511 ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'M SORRY. 174 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:46,813 GO AHEAD, KYLE. 175 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:47,680 NO ! 176 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,548 NO, GO AHEAD, I'M DRY. 177 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:49,415 YOU'RE LYING ! 178 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,150 IT STOPPED BEING FUNNY 40 SECONDS AGO, BOYS. 179 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,452 LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH. 180 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,620 BUT ITWASONE OF THE BEST TIMES I'VE EVER HAD. 181 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,356 CAN I SEE THIS THING, PLEASE ? 182 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,091 OKAY. 183 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,259 ( farts ) 184 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,862 OKAY, NOW IT'S FUNNY AGAIN. 185 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,163 THIS IS SO AWESOME ! 186 00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:05,465 I DON'T THINK I MADE IT 187 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,332 OUT OF THAT PROCTOLOGIST'S'S OFFICE, GUYS, 188 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,633 I THINK I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN ! 189 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:08,501 THAT DOES IT ! 190 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:09,369 CHARRRGE ! 191 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,670 ( fart ) 192 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,537 AAGH ! 193 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,176 WHAT'S IT DOING ? 194 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,779 IT'S SENDING A TRANSMISSION OF SOME KIND. 195 00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:23,249 GOT IT. 196 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,719 IT'S JUST SENDING IMAGES OF CITIES AND PEOPLE AND STUFF. 197 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,454 WHERE IS THE SIGNAL BEING SENT TO ? 198 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:31,491 UGH, AGH ! 199 00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:35,395 I DON'T WANNA PLAY ANYMORE, YOU GUYS. 200 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,563 WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT JUST FOR SOME GAY VIDEO OF EARTH ? 201 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,732 WE WANTED TO SEE AN ALIEN PLANET OR SOMETHING ! 202 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,901 WHOEVER THEY ARE, IF THEY'RE RECEIVING MESSAGES 203 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,070 THEY MIGHT BE SENDING THEM TOO. 204 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,805 WAIT A MINUTE. C-CANDY BARS ! 205 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,540 CANDY BARS ? 206 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:50,143 Y'KNOW, CANDY BARS, THEY USUALLY COME IN A WRAPPER, 207 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,311 JUST LIKE YOU WRAP A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 208 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,046 CHRISTMAS HAPPENS WHEN IT'S COLD. 209 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,782 COLD AS IN ALASKA. 210 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,384 THAT'S POLAR BEARS, POLAR BEARS... 211 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,119 POLARITY ! 212 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,288 I CAN SWITCH THE POLARITY TO SEE WHAT TRANSMISSIONS 213 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:05,758 ARE COMING FROM THE LOCATION THIS ONE IS BEING SENT TO ! 214 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:10,963 WHAT THE HECK ? 215 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,904 THEY'RE COMING IN ! 216 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:24,844 WHAT DO WE DO ? 217 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,145 IT'S THAT GUY YOU WANT ! 218 00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:27,880 HE'S TRYING TO REVERSE YOUR POLARITIES ! 219 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,182 WHAT ? 220 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,350 RUN ! 221 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,519 GET IN THE CAR, CHILDREN, GET IN THE CAR ! 222 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,724 ( honking ) 223 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:39,592 WHAT IS THAT ? 224 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,327 CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING, CHILDREN ? 225 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,930 THE ALIENS ARE CHASING US ! 226 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,737 GOD DAMN ALIENS ! 227 00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,641 CHEF, END OF THE ROAD ! 228 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,111 HOLD ON, CHILDREN ! WE HAVE TO DITCH THEM ! 229 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:00,847 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN ? 230 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,750 ( "Dukes" narrator ) LOOKS LIKE THEM BOYS ARE GETTING A LITTLE FRESH AIR. 231 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:09,088 ( country music ) 232 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,293 I THINK WE DITCHED 'EM. 233 00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,896 I DON'T THINK WE'RE OUT OF THE WOODS YET. 234 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,234 COOP COOP ! 235 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,535 IT'S THE POLICE ! 236 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,270 THAT AIN'T NO POLICE ! 237 00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:31,644 WHEN DO WE GET TO EAT ? I'M HUNGRY. 238 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,379 CHEF ! 239 00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,548 OHH ! 240 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,150 ( "General Lee" horn ) 241 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,260 HA ! GOD DAMN ALIENS ! 242 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,561 I BEAT YOU ! 243 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,730 WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO DRIVE, ALIENS ? 244 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,465 CHINESE AUTO SCHOOL ? 245 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,200 CHEF ! CHEF, HELP ! 246 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,501 YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T JUST TURN AROUND 247 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,538 AND BEAT YOUR WHITE SKINNY ALIEN ASSES ANYWAY ! 248 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,140 MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL REMEMBER TO-- HUH ? 249 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,176 AW, CRAP ! 250 00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:05,478 CHILDREN ! 251 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,647 ( all ) CHEFFFF ! 252 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,382 WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THE BOYS ARE IN MORE TROUBLE 253 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,683 THAN A JUNE BUG IN MOLASSES. 254 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,418 AND IT'S PRETTY THICK MOLASSES, TOO. 255 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,325 UH... 256 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,494 YOU GUYS, WAKE UP ! 257 00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,096 WHAT THE-- WHERE ARE WE ? 258 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,699 WE'RE IN THE ALIEN SHIP. 259 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,000 AH, AH ! 260 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:29,735 UGH, I'M TRAPPED INSIDE HELEN HUNT'S ASS ! 261 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:31,037 OH GOD, HELP ME, YOU GUYS ! 262 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,338 IT'S NOT HELEN HUNT'S ASS ! 263 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,639 IT'S AN ALIEN SPACESHIP. 264 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:37,109 OH, THANK GOD ! OH THANK, THANK YOU LORD. 265 00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,278 YOU GUYS, LOOK. 266 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,881 WOW. WOW. 267 00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:47,520 MY GOD, DO YOU GUYS REALIZE ? 268 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,122 THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND TIME WE'VE EVER BEEN IN OUTER SPACE. 269 00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:50,990 YEAH. 270 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,725 AWESOME. 271 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,894 THIS IS LIKE MY FIFTH TIME. 272 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,099 UH-OH. 273 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,400 THIS MUST BE THE HEAD ALIEN GUY. 274 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,135 OH, NO ! 275 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,738 HELLO, BOYS. 276 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,039 DAD ? 277 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,208 NO, NOT REALLY. 278 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,509 I JUST READ YOUR MIND AND THOUGHT THIS FORM 279 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,112 MIGHT BE MORE PLEASING TO YOU. 280 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,847 OH DUDE, DON'T DO THAT, THAT'S GAY. 281 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,148 YEAH, THAT'S LIKE THAT STUPID MOVIE "CONTACT". 282 00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:17,883 OH GOD, THAT MOVIE PISSED ME OFF. 283 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:21,354 VERY WELL, I SHALL SHOW MY TRUE FORM-- 284 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,655 BLARGH, BLARGH, BLARGH ! 285 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,390 OKAY, OKAY, TAKE THE FORM OF SOMETHING ELSE ! 286 00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,125 HOW'S THIS ? 287 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,860 SANTA ! 288 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,161 NO, THAT'S STUPID TOO. 289 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,896 HOW ABOUT THIS ? 290 00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,632 ( all ) NO. 291 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,234 NO. 292 00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:37,837 OOH, VERY NICE. 293 00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,138 NO. 294 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,873 NO. 295 00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,042 DY-NO-MITE ! 296 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,343 ( all ) NO ! 297 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:47,813 JEFF ! 298 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,548 THE ALIENS TOOK THE CHILDREN UP ON THEIR SHIP ! 299 00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:50,416 OH, NO ! 300 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,151 DID YOU FIND OUT WHAT THE ALIENS ARE UP TO ? 301 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,452 WHEN I REVERSED THE POLARITIES I FOUND THIS-- 302 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:57,356 IT'S A MESSAGE THAT THE ALIENS ARE BROADCASTING 303 00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:58,658 THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. 304 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,393 BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT SAYS. 305 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:01,694 THEY TOOK THE CHILDREN, JEFF ! 306 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,863 I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THOSE ALIENS ARE UP TO ! 307 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,465 WAIT A MINUTE-- BUTT SEX. 308 00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:07,767 BUTT SEX ? 309 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,935 BUTT SEX REQUIRES A LOT OF LUBRICATION, RIGHT ? 310 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:13,406 LUBRICATION... LUBRA, CHUPA... 311 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,008 CHUPACABRAS, THE GOAT KILLER OF MEXICAN FOLKLORE. 312 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,177 FOLKLORE IS STORIES FROM THE PAST 313 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,912 THAT ARE OFTEN FICTIONALIZED, 314 00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,515 FICTIONALIZED TO HEIGHTEN DRAMA, DRAMA STUDENT ! 315 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,250 STUDENTS AT COLLEGES USUALLY HAVE BICYCLES. 316 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,852 BI, BI-BINARY ! IT'S BINARY CODE ! 317 00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,021 WHO'S HAVING BUTT SEX ? 318 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:32,058 ♪ HELLO MY HONEY HELLO MY BABY ♪ 319 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,226 ♪ HELLO MY RAG TIME GAL ♪ 320 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,528 NO ! 321 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:39,865 ♪ LET ME SEARCH IT GONNA WORK IT... ♪ 322 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,167 NO ! 323 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,769 ♪ DON'T PISS ON THE MOON, BABE ♪ 324 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,071 NO ! 325 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:48,541 ALRIGHT, EARTHLINGS, WHAT FORM DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE ? 326 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,577 HOW ABOUT A TACO-- THAT CRAPS ICE CREAM ? 327 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:57,650 GUYS ? 328 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,517 I LIKE IT. 329 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,252 ME TOO. 330 00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:02,421 ALRIGHT, THEN WE CAN GET BACK TO BUSINESS. 331 00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,590 FOLLOW ME THIS WAY, EARTHLINGS. 332 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,928 I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU BOYS 333 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,663 FOR ALL THE SPOOKY, SCARY STUFF. 334 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:13,265 WE JUST NEEDED TO GET TO THE MALFUNCTIONING UPLINK RELAY. 335 00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,567 YOU MEAN THE THING IN CARTMAN'S ASS ? 336 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,868 THAT'S RIGHT. 337 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:18,037 SEE, THERE ARE DISHES IN OVER 50,000 EARTHLINGS' RECTUMS, 338 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:19,772 YOUR FRIEND'S HAS BEEN MALFUNCTIONING. 339 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,073 WHY DO YOU PUT THEM INTO PEOPLE'S ASSES ? 340 00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,242 ARE YOU PLANNING SOME KIND OF ALIEN TAKE OVER ? 341 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,543 OH, HEAVEN'S NO ! 342 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,845 WE'RE A PRODUCTION COMPANY. 343 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,580 WE MAKE INTERGALACTIC TELEVISION PROGRAMS 344 00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:29,749 THAT THE WHOLE UNIVERSE WATCHES. 345 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,917 TELEVISION ? 346 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,520 WE AT NERZOD PRODUCTIONS STARTED 20 BILLION YEARS AGO 347 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,821 WITH ONE PHILOSOPHY: 348 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,858 THE BEST UNIVERSAL TELEVISION ISN'T SCRIPTED, IT'S REAL ! 349 00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,593 WE STARTED WITH GREAT SHOWS LIKE 350 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,328 "WHO WANTS TO MARRY A GELGAMEK ?" 351 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,063 AND "ANTARES 6 MILLIONAIRE". 352 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,364 AND THEN WE HAD A BIG HIT WITH 353 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,099 "GET ME OUTTA HERE, I'M A KLIGNANIAN". 354 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,268 BUT THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S OUR SIGNATURE SHOW, 355 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:52,738 THE GREATEST UNIVERSAL REALITY SHOW OF ALL TIME. 356 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,811 EARTH ? 357 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,546 A FEW BILLION YEARS AGO WE REALIZED-- 358 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,149 WHAT IF WE TOOK SPECIES FROM ALL DIFFERENT PLANETS IN THE UNIVERSE 359 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,185 AND PUT THEM TOGETHER ON THE SAME PLANET ? 360 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,486 GREAT TV, RIGHT ? 361 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,089 ASIANS, BEARS, DUCKS, JEWS, DEER AND HISPANICS 362 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,258 ALL TRYING TO LIVE SIDE BY SIDE ON ONE PLANET ! 363 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,559 IT'S GREAT ! 364 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,595 OUR PLANET IS JUST A REALITY TV SHOW ? 365 00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:17,897 WELL, YOU DON'T THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE 366 00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,632 WORKS THE WAY EARTH DOES, DO YOU ? 367 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,367 NO ! ONE SPECIES, ONE PLANET. 368 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,969 THERE'S A PLANET OF DEER, A PLANET OF ASIANS AND SO ON. 369 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,704 WE PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER ON EARTH 370 00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:27,439 AND THE WHOLE UNIVERSE TUNES IN TO WATCH THE FUN ! 371 00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:30,910 YOU MEAN THAT YOU ALIENS ACTUALLY ENJOY SITTING AROUND 372 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,645 AND WATCHING US FIGHT AND KILL WITH EACH OTHER ? 373 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,946 DUDE, THAT'S MESSED UP. 374 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,247 WHY ? 375 00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,549 WHY ! BECAUSE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES ! 376 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,284 YOU'RE TURNING PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS INTO ENTERTAINMENT ! 377 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,320 YEAH, WE'D NEVER DO THAT ON EARTH ! 378 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,224 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 379 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,393 WE HAVE RECENTLY COME ACROSS AN ALIEN TRANSMISSION 380 00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,429 THAT IS BEING BEAMED THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. 381 00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,598 ( audience murmuring ) 382 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:55,201 WHEN DECODED, IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. 383 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,647 WHAT DOES IT MEAN ? 384 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,949 IT'S SIMPLE MATHEMATICAL LANGUAGE 385 00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,117 THAT CAN BE UNDERSTOOD THROUGHOUT THE SOLAR SYSTEM. 386 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:15,588 TRANSLATED INTO OUR LANGUAGE, IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. 387 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,756 ( announcer ) This Janamon at 8:00 388 00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:19,491 it's everyone's favorite show-- 389 00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:20,793 Earth ! 390 00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,395 It's been 100 galgamars since we first took species 391 00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:24,697 from 17 different planets 392 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,299 and put them all together on the same planet ! 393 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:31,203 They've fought and fallen in love. 394 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,938 What will happen this galgamar ? 395 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,673 Tune in Janamon at eight to find out ! 396 00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:38,143 It's Earth, onFOGNL ! 397 00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:44,216 I'M AFRAID THAT EARTH, ALL OF EARTH, 398 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:49,421 IS NOTHING BUT AN INTERGALACTIC REALITY TV SHOW. 399 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,590 MY GOD. 400 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:52,892 WE'RE FAMOUS ! 401 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,494 ( cheering ) 402 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:57,663 WAIT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 403 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,398 I'M ON TV ! I'M ON TV ! 404 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:02,001 OH, THIS IS SO AWESOME ! 405 00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,676 THAT SHOULD GET THE RELAY WORKING AGAIN. 406 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,411 ALRIGHT, EARTHLINGS, IF YOU'LL STEP OVER THIS WAY 407 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,014 WE'LL ERASE YOUR MEMORIES AND GET YOU BACK TO EARTH. 408 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,749 ( phone rings ) OH, EXCUSE ME. 409 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,050 THIS IS NAJIX. 410 00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,351 UH-HUH. 411 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,086 OH, NO. 412 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,821 OH, NO, REALLY ? 413 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,424 IT'S FOR SURE ? 414 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,593 ALRIGHT, I'LL BREAK THE NEWS TO EVERYONE. 415 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,195 NO, NO, I UNDERSTAND, THANKS. 416 00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,364 WELL, YOU KIDS CAN GO BACK TO EARTH IF YOU WANT 417 00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:34,099 BUT I'M AFRAID IT WON'T BE THERE FOR LONG. 418 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,401 THE SHOW'S BEEN CANCELED. 419 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,136 WHAT ? WHO CANCELED US ? 420 00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:38,437 THE UNIVERSAL NETWORK HEADS. 421 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,738 THEY SAY THE EARTHLINGS HAVE BECOME AWARE OF THE SHOW 422 00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,907 SO IT WON'T BE FUNNY ANYMORE. 423 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,208 OH ( bleep ), DID WE DO THAT ? 424 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:44,944 EVERYONE, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION REAL QUICK ? 425 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,679 UH, LOOK, I JUST GOT A CALL FROM THE NETWORK 426 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,847 AND I'M AFRAID EARTH HAS BEEN CANCELED. 427 00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:50,149 ( all ) AWW... 428 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:51,884 NOW, NOW, IT WAS A GREAT RUN 429 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,486 AND I THINK WE SHOULD ALL BE REALLY PROUD. 430 00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,655 ( slight applause ) 431 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:57,523 LET'S CALL IN THE DEMOLITION CREW 432 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,258 TO STRIKE THE EARTH FOR RESOURCES. 433 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,559 WAIT, WAIT ! THEY CAN'T DO THIS ! 434 00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:01,860 LET US TALK TO THE NETWORK HEADS ! 435 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,162 WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD. 436 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,463 DUDE, WE HAVE TO TRY ! 437 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,198 PLEASE TAKE US TO THEM, PLEASE ! 438 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,367 ALRIGHT, KIDS, WE'LL TAKE YOU TO THE NETWORK HEADS, 439 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,536 BUT I WARN YOU, NOBODY HAS EVER GOTTEN 440 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,705 THE EXECUTIVES TO UN-CANCEL A SHOW 441 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,006 ONCE THE CALL HAS BEEN MADE. 442 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,741 NOBODY. 443 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,553 ( beeping ) 444 00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,867 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ? 445 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,168 THERE'S A HUGE SHIP OF SOME KIND IN EARTH'S ORBIT. 446 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,337 BUT WHY ? 447 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,072 WAIT A MINUTE-- CHAOS THEORY ! 448 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,374 CHAOS THEORY ? 449 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,542 CHAOS THEORY, IT WAS FIRST THOUGHT OF IN THE '60s, 60. 450 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:54,013 THAT'S THE NUMBER OF EPISODES THEY MADE OF "PUNKY BREWSTER" 451 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,181 BEFORE IT WAS CANCELED. CANCELED ? 452 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,049 HUH ? 453 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,218 DON'T YOU SEE ? THE SHOW IS OVER. 454 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,953 THE ALIENS ARE CANCELING EARTH ! 455 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:02,254 OH MY GOD. 456 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,857 WE HAVE TO STOP THEM ! 457 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:08,327 ( announcer ) Welcome to planet Fognl, home of the Joozians, 458 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:12,664 who control all media in the universe ! 459 00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:16,135 CAN I HELP YOU ? 460 00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:19,171 OH, UH, WE HAVE A 3:00 MEETING WITH THE NETWORK HEADS. 461 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,340 WHERE ARE YOU VISITING FROM ? 462 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,207 UH, EARTH. 463 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,509 OOH ! 464 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:24,810 I WATCH THAT SHOW ALL THE TIME ! 465 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,111 ( laughing ) 466 00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,413 OH SURE, COME ON IN, EARTHLINGS ! 467 00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:29,148 WE'RE JUST CHECKING OUR NEW SHOW. 468 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:31,750 WE TOOK 100 BEINGS FROM THE PLANET MARKLAR 469 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,919 AND PUT THEM ON AN ASTEROID WITH SENTIENT BEINGS 470 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:35,220 FROM THE HORSEHEAD NEBULA. 471 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,522 IT'S A RIOT ! 472 00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,690 THEY HATE EACH OTHER ! 473 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:43,028 MIGHTY, POWERFUL NETWORK EXECUTIVES. 474 00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:45,197 WE HAVE COME A GREAT DISTANCE IN ORDER TO-- 475 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,366 I'M STARVING, YOU EARTHLINGS HAVE HAGLAR YET ? 476 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,667 OH YEAH, LET'S DO HAGLAR. 477 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:49,968 WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO,MORONIS? 478 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,703 NOT ON A FLECKMAR, TOO CROWDED. 479 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:53,439 OOH ! BLACH-GA-FELCH ! 480 00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:55,174 OH, BLACH-GA-FELCH, PERFECT ! 481 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:58,644 THIS PLACE IS FANTASTIC. 482 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,379 LOOK, WE JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE SHOW. 483 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,548 PLEASE DON'T CANCEL US, PLEASE. 484 00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:04,283 I'M SORRY, EARTHLINGS, 485 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,885 BUT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THE UNIVERSE IS A BUSINESS. 486 00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:09,054 YOU MADE IT TO 100 EPISODES, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD. 487 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,657 YEAH, A SHOW SHOULD NEVER GO PAST 100 EPISODES 488 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,392 OR ELSE IT STARTS TO GET STALE 489 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,994 WITH RIDICULOUSLY STUPID PLOT LINES AND SETTINGS. 490 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,898 HERE'S YOU ORDER OF GLAGAPLATZL FOR GNAKLEBERG ! 491 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:23,802 BUT, SIRS, WE THINK OUR SHOW IS JUST GETTING GOOD. 492 00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,971 I MEAN, WE'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO SEE PEOPLE 493 00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:27,706 GETTING REALLY PISSED OFF AT EACH OTHER. 494 00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,441 OH MY GOD, THIS IS GREAT ! 495 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,176 YOU MUST HAVE SOME JOOZIAN ANCESTRY. 496 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,478 TELL US ABOUT IT. 497 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,213 LOOK, THERE'S FIVE BILLION PEOPLE ON OUR SHOW, 498 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:35,514 YOU CAN'T JUST UP AND CANCEL ON US. 499 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,984 OH MY GOD, WILL YOU LOOK AT THE HEKMAS ON THAT JOOZIMAK ? 500 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,285 DUDE, WE'RE TRYING TO SAVE OUR PLANET HERE ! 501 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,020 LET'S TAKE THE EARTHLINGS TO A HEKMA BAR ! 502 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,623 OH, YEAH ! 503 00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,394 OH YEAH, LET'S SEE THOSE HEKMAS ! 504 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:50,696 SIRS, IF YOU'LL-- 505 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:53,298 OH, MAN, I AM SO WASTED. 506 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,901 HEY, YOU EARTHLINGS WANNA TRY A LITTLE BLANCGH ? 507 00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:58,504 ( snorting ) 508 00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:01,974 OH, YEAH ! 509 00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:03,709 OH, GLUCK YEAH ! 510 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,444 KENNY ! 511 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,179 MAN, SCREW THIS PLACE ! 512 00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,914 LET'S GO GET A HOTEL ROOM AND A HOOKER ! 513 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,215 OH, YEAH ! 514 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,987 WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO STOP THOSE ALIENS ! 515 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,156 THEIR SHIP IS MASSIVE, THERE'S NO WAY TO STOP IT ! 516 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,457 WAIT A MINUTE-- JACKETS ! 517 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:19,758 OH, NO. 518 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,493 IF PEOPLE DON'T WEAR JACKETS THEY COULD GET COLD ! 519 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,963 A COLD IS CAUSED BY A VIRUS, A VIRUS, A COMPUTER VIRUS ! 520 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:26,698 WE COULD MAKE A COMPUTER VIRUS 521 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,867 AND SEND IT TO THEIR SHIP TO DISABLE THEIR COMPUTERS ! 522 00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:33,205 THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE ! 523 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:36,241 OH YEAH, HOOKER, OH YEAH ! 524 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,976 YEAH, WOO, YEAH ! 525 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:41,880 BOY, EARTHLINGS, IS THIS A PARTY OR WHAT ? 526 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:45,784 THAT'S IT, BABY, YOU'RE GETTING MY JAGGON HARD ! 527 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:49,254 YEAH, LET'S PARTY ! 528 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,556 YEAH, SUCK MY JAGGON ! 529 00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:53,592 YEAH, NOW YOU SUCK ON MY JAGGON. 530 00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:54,459 OH, YEAH ! 531 00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,195 STICK YOUR FINGER IN MY THRUSHER ! 532 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,797 OH YEAH, SUCK IT, SUCK THAT JAGGON ! 533 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,966 DUDE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE'RE SEEING RIGHT NOW, 534 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,569 BUT I HAVE A FEELING IT'S REALLY, REALLY WRONG. 535 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,304 OH YEAH ! OH YEAH, YEAH ! 536 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,244 OH, GOD... MY HEAD. 537 00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,545 WHAT DID WE DO ? 538 00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:17,015 OH, MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SUCKED YOUR JAGGON. 539 00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,184 OH GOD, WE DID SUCK EACH OTHER'S JAGGONS ! 540 00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:21,353 YOU KIDS WON'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS, RIGHT ? 541 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:22,654 NO. 542 00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,389 NO, WAIT-- WE WON'T TELL ANYBODY 543 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,124 IF YOU DON'T CANCEL OUR SHOW. 544 00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,859 OOH, I KNEW THAT WAS COMING. 545 00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:29,595 THEY'VE REALLY GOT US BY THE NEZMINS. 546 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,330 THE EARTH SHOW CAN STILL BE GOOD. 547 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,498 JUST ERASE EVERYONE'S MEMORY SO WE DON'T KNOW WE'RE A SHOW ! 548 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:35,667 I'M SURE YOU'LL SEE THAT IF YOU GIVE OUR WORLD TIME 549 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,836 IT WILL BECOME EVEN MORE OUTRAGEOUS AND VIOLENT. 550 00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:40,005 THERE'S EVEN WORLD WAR III TO LOOK FORWARD TO ! 551 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,740 AND THEN WE WON'T HAVE TO SHOW ANYBODY THE PICTURE 552 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,041 KENNY HAS OF YOU GUYS SUCKING EACH OTHER'S JAGGONS. 553 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:44,776 ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, EARTHLINGS ! 554 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,511 YOU WIN. 555 00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:47,379 THE SHOW CAN STAY ON. 556 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:48,680 ALRIGHT ! ALRIGHT ! 557 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,283 JUST BE SURE TO KEEP UP THE WARS AND VIOLENCE. 558 00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,452 WELL, WE'VE GOT A 5:00 WITH THE YERKA PRODUCERS. 559 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,753 NICE MEETING YOU, EARTHLINGS. 560 00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,922 BYE ! 561 00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:00,392 WHOA, CARTMAN LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT. 562 00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:01,693 THAT'S CAUSE I WAS HAVING THESE 563 00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:03,862 BOGUS NIGHTMARES ALL NIGHT LONG. 564 00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:04,730 HEY YOU GUYS, LOOK ! 565 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:06,031 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ? 566 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,766 I DON'T KNOW. 567 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:08,634 HELLO THERE, CHILDREN ! 568 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:09,935 ( all ) HEY, CHEF. 569 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,236 CHEF, KENNY HAS A PICTURE OF TWO GREEN THINGS 570 00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:13,405 SUCKING EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS. 571 00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:15,574 WHAT IS IT, CHEF ? 572 00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:16,875 I DON'T KNOW, 573 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,176 BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS PICTURE MIGHT BE 574 00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:19,478 VERY IMPORTANT, CHILDREN. 575 00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:22,514 YOU SHOULD HANG ON TO IT. 576 00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:23,382 ( announcer ) ATTENTION UNIVERSE ! 577 00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,683 BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK 578 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,852 FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OFEARTH! 579 00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:29,454 THE ASIANS ARE REALLY STEWED AT THE RUSSIANS. 580 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,623 THE ZEBRAS TRY TO GET ALONG WITH THE BUFFALO. 581 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:35,093 AND AMERICANS AND IRAQIS HAVE AN ALL-OUT BRAWL ! 582 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:36,828 IT'S OUTRAGEOUS FUN AND IT'S ALL NEW ! 583 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,997 EARTH ! ON FOGNL ! 584 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,467 Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL 585 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,504 Captioned by Soundwriters™ 586 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:58,517 ♪ LET ME SEARCH IT GONNA WORK IT... ♪♪