1 00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:37,210 This is your lunch, OK? 2 00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:39,499 Now, I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. 3 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,399 You can ask one of the big kids where to do that. 4 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:44,069 You remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. 5 00:00:44,150 --> 00:00:46,640 Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. 6 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,610 OK? You ready? 7 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,090 I think so. 8 00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:56,160 It's Cady's big day. 9 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,684 I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school. 10 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,460 But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is 5. 11 00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:06,010 I'm 16 and until today, I was home-schooled. 12 00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:09,180 I know what you're thinking. "Home-schooled kids are freaks." 13 00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:14,010 X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P. Xylocarp. 14 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:16,510 Or that we're weirdly religious or something. 15 00:01:16,790 --> 00:01:21,220 And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle 16 00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,820 so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. 17 00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:25,820 And the homosexuals. 18 00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,430 - Amen. - Amen. 19 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,030 But my family's totally normal. 20 00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:32,200 Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists 21 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,530 and we've spent the last 12 years in Africa. 22 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,100 I had a great life. 23 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,929 But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University. 24 00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:43,240 So it was goodbye Africa and hello high school. 25 00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:47,140 I'm OK. Sorry. 26 00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:48,750 I'll be careful. 27 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,010 Hi. 28 00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:18,080 I don't know if anyone told you about me. 29 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,580 I'm a new student here. My name is Cady Heron. 30 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:23,650 Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass. 31 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,690 You don't wanna sit there. Kristen Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there. 32 00:02:32,830 --> 00:02:34,690 Hey, baby. 33 00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,770 He farts a lot. 34 00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:53,910 Hey, everybody. 35 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:57,580 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 36 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,950 It's not you. I'm bad luck. 37 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:07,190 Ms. Norbury? 38 00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:09,119 My T-shirt's stuck to my sweater, isn't it? 39 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,130 - Yeah. - Fantastic. 40 00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:12,664 Is everything all right in here? 41 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,100 - Oh, yeah. - So... 42 00:03:16,310 --> 00:03:18,400 - ...how was your summer? - I got divorced. 43 00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:21,570 My carpal tunnel came back. 44 00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:25,580 - I win. - Yes, you do. 45 00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:27,405 Well, I just wanted to let everyone know 46 00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:29,350 that we have a new student joining us. 47 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:32,280 She just moved here all the way from Africa. 48 00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:34,050 Welcome. 49 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,520 - I'm from Michigan. - Great. 50 00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:40,460 Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. 51 00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:42,220 - Where are you, Cady? - That's me. 52 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,990 - It's pronounced like Katie. - My apologies. 53 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,830 I have a nephew named Anfernee, 54 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,330 and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. 55 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,489 Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact 56 00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:53,200 that my sister named him Anfernee. 57 00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:55,440 Well, welcome, Cady. 58 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,610 - And thank you, Mr. Duvall. - Well, thank you. 59 00:03:58,810 --> 00:04:00,210 And... 60 00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:03,350 ...if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody... 61 00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:04,780 Thanks. 62 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,390 Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through. 63 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,550 OK. 64 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,960 OK. Good day, everybody. 65 00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:17,430 The first day of school was a blur. 66 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:20,400 A stressful, surreal blur. 67 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,760 I got in trouble for the most random things. 68 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,670 - Where are you going? - Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. 69 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,700 You need the lavatory pass. 70 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,180 OK. Can I have the lavatory pass? 71 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,470 Nice try. Have a seat. 72 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,780 I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, 73 00:04:35,990 --> 00:04:37,509 where they were always yelling at me. 74 00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:39,210 - Don't read ahead! - No green pen! 75 00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:40,580 No food in class! 76 00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:53,147 I told you, I saw the whole thing. 77 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,900 - Everything. - Did you see nipple? 78 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,670 - It only counts if you saw a nipple. - That's true, dude. 79 00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:00,900 I had a lot of friends in Africa. 80 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:05,670 What? 81 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,870 But so far, none in Evanston. 82 00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:25,920 Hey. How was your first day? 83 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,410 Is that your natural hair color? 84 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,850 - Yeah. - It's gorgeous. 85 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,280 Thank you. 86 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,240 See, this is the color I want. 87 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,920 This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function. 88 00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:52,260 - Nice to meet you. - Nice wig, Janis. 89 00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:54,790 - What's it made of? - Your mom's chest hair! 90 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,060 - I'm Janis. - Hi, I'm Cady. 91 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,970 Do you guys know where Room G 14 is? 92 00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:05,070 "Health, Tuesday/Thursday, Room G 14." 93 00:06:05,270 --> 00:06:07,670 I think that's in the back building. 94 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,589 - Yeah, that's in the back building. - Yeah, we'll take you there. 95 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:12,740 Thanks. 96 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,280 Watch out, please! New meat coming through! 97 00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:20,520 "Health. Spanish." 98 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,780 You're taking 12th-grade calculus? 99 00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:25,760 - Yeah, I like math. - Why? 100 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,860 Because it's the same in every country. 101 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,700 That's beautiful. This girl is deep. 102 00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:33,930 Where's the back building? 103 00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:36,440 It burned down in 1987. 104 00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:39,130 Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this? 105 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,170 Why would we get you into trouble? 106 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,070 We're your friends. 107 00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:47,140 I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends. 108 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,940 And I was in no position to pass up friends. 109 00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:53,350 I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class. 110 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:57,460 Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. 111 00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,369 Don't have sex in the missionary position, 112 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,990 don't have sex standing up. 113 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,660 Just don't do it, promise? 114 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,560 OK, everybody take some rubbers. 115 00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:08,760 Why didn't they just keep home-schooling you? 116 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,700 They wanted me to get socialized. 117 00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:13,500 Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you. 118 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,810 - What are you talking about? - You're a regulation hottie. 119 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:19,010 - What? - Own it. 120 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,769 How do you spell your name again, Cady? 121 00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:23,180 It's Cady. C-A-D-Y. 122 00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,090 Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady. 123 00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:29,390 In the name of all that is holy, will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes? 124 00:07:29,590 --> 00:07:32,250 Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class. 125 00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:35,120 - Who are The Plastics? - They're teen royalty. 126 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,530 If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover. 127 00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:40,330 That one there, that's Karen Smith. 128 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:43,900 She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. 129 00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:46,600 Damian sat next to her in English last year. 130 00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:48,610 She asked me how to spell "orange". 131 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,550 And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners. 132 00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,240 She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. 133 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:57,169 Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business. 134 00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,080 She knows everything about everyone. 135 00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:02,050 That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. 136 00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:06,890 And evil takes a human form in Regina George. 137 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:10,350 Don't be fooled, because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, 138 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:15,630 slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that. 139 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,070 She's the queen bee. 140 00:08:17,270 --> 00:08:19,830 The star. Those other two are just her little workers. 141 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,630 Regina George. 142 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,780 How do I even begin to explain Regina George? 143 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,740 Regina George is flawless. 144 00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:29,210 She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. 145 00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:31,440 I hear her hair's insured for $10,000. 146 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:34,450 I hear she does car commercials. In Japan. 147 00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,390 Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. 148 00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:38,257 One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. 149 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,920 And he told her she was pretty. 150 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:42,150 One time, she punched me in the face. 151 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,990 It was awesome. 152 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,330 She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. 153 00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:49,500 - Who cares? - I care. 154 00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:51,659 Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen 155 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,000 called The Spring Fling. 156 00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:55,377 And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen 157 00:08:55,510 --> 00:08:57,499 automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. 158 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,410 And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, 159 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,610 I would say, yeah, I care. 160 00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:05,910 Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself. 161 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,880 Here. This map is gonna be your guide to North Shore. 162 00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:13,580 Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial 163 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,200 because you got everybody there. 164 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,960 You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, 165 00:09:18,170 --> 00:09:21,100 preps, JV jocks, 166 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,530 Asian nerds, 167 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,770 cool Asians, 168 00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:27,440 varsity jocks, 169 00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:29,840 unfriendly black hotties, 170 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,370 girls who eat their feelings, 171 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,840 girls who don't eat anything, 172 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,520 desperate wannabes, 173 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,210 burnouts, 174 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,490 sexually active band geeks, 175 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,990 the greatest people you will ever meet 176 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:46,760 and the worst. Beware of The Plastics. 177 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,660 Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students. 178 00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:53,162 Can you answer a few questions? 179 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,300 - OK. - Is your muffin buttered? 180 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,440 What? 181 00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:02,710 Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? 182 00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,880 - My what? - Is he bothering you? 183 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,050 Jason, why are you such a skeez? 184 00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,810 I'm just being friendly. 185 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:10,939 You were supposed to call me last night. 186 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,150 Jason. You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen 187 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,850 and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. 188 00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:19,530 She's not interested. 189 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,022 Do you wanna have sex with him? 190 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,770 - No, thank you. - Good. So it's settled. 191 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:26,560 So you can go shave your back now. 192 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,630 Bye, Jason. 193 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,670 Bitch. 194 00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:33,710 Wait. Sit down. 195 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,700 Seriously, sit down. 196 00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:41,640 Why don't I know you? 197 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,250 I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. 198 00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:46,920 - What? - I used to be home-schooled. 199 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,490 Wait. What? 200 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,450 - My mom taught me at home... - No, no. 201 00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:52,249 I know what home-school is. I'm not retarded. 202 00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:54,539 So you've actually never been to a real school before? 203 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,620 Shut up. 204 00:10:58,530 --> 00:10:59,930 Shut up. 205 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:03,040 - I didn't say anything. - Home-schooled. 206 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,570 - That's really interesting. - Thanks. 207 00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:07,240 But you're, like, really pretty. 208 00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:09,670 - Thank you. - So you agree. 209 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,610 - What? - You think you're really pretty. 210 00:11:12,210 --> 00:11:15,080 - Oh, I don't know... - Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. 211 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,120 - Where did you get it? - Oh, my mom made it for me. 212 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,910 - It's adorable. - Oh, it's so fetch. 213 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,490 - What is "fetch"? - Oh, it's, like, slang. From England. 214 00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:26,130 So if you're from Africa... 215 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:28,390 ...why are you white? 216 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,760 Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white. 217 00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:34,460 Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second? 218 00:11:34,670 --> 00:11:36,470 Yeah, sure. 219 00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:38,910 What are you doing? 220 00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:44,929 OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, 221 00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:47,280 so this is, like, a really huge deal. 222 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,180 We wanna invite you to have lunch with us 223 00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,010 every day for the rest of the week. 224 00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:53,150 - Oh, it's OK... - Coolness. 225 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,580 So we'll see you tomorrow. 226 00:11:54,790 --> 00:11:57,050 On Wednesdays, we wear pink. 227 00:11:57,490 --> 00:11:59,460 Oh, my God! OK, you have to do it, OK? 228 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,479 And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Regina says. 229 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,360 Regina seems sweet. 230 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,130 Regina George is not sweet. 231 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:08,900 She's a scum-sucking road whore! She ruined my life! 232 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,800 She's fabulous, but she's evil. 233 00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,094 - Hey, get out of here! - Oh, my God, Danny DeVito. 234 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,040 I love your work! 235 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,040 - Why do you hate her? - What do you mean? 236 00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,180 Regina. You seem to really hate her. 237 00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,180 Yes. What's your question? 238 00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:23,569 - Well, my question is, why? - Regina started this rumor 239 00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:26,520 - that Janis was... - Damian! Shall we not? 240 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,470 Now, look. This isn't about hating her, OK? 241 00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:30,479 I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment 242 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,249 if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say. 243 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:35,390 - What do we even talk about? - Hair products. 244 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,330 - Ashton Kutcher. - Is that a band? 245 00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:40,090 Would you just do it? Please? 246 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,030 OK, fine. Do you have anything pink? 247 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,000 - Yes. - No. 248 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,270 By eighth period, I was so happy to get to math class. 249 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,880 I mean, I'm good at math. I understand math. 250 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,980 Nothing in math class could mess me up. 251 00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:55,350 Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow? 252 00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:59,680 I've only had one other crush in my life. 253 00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:01,860 His name was Nfume, and we were 5. 254 00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:07,390 It didn't work out. 255 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,660 But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus. 256 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,930 - Cady, what do you say? - He was... 257 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,570 So cute. 258 00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:20,470 I mean, A-sub-N equals N plus one over four. 259 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,140 That's right. 260 00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:24,310 That's good. Very good. 261 00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,340 All right, let's talk about your homework. 262 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,280 Hey. How was your second day? 263 00:13:31,090 --> 00:13:32,780 - Fine. - Were people nice? 264 00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,550 - No. - Did you make any friends? 265 00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,750 Yeah. 266 00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:42,525 Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world 267 00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:44,120 and entering "Girl World". 268 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:46,360 And Girl World had a lot of rules. 269 00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,470 You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, 270 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:51,370 and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. 271 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:54,310 So I guess you picked today. 272 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,700 Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. 273 00:13:57,910 --> 00:14:01,250 Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. 274 00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:03,440 I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. 275 00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:05,450 OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today, 276 00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:07,920 I would be sitting over there with the art freaks. 277 00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:12,449 Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us 278 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:15,330 because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. 279 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,849 Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first 280 00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:20,090 - if it looks good on you. - I wouldn't? 281 00:14:20,470 --> 00:14:22,270 Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. 282 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:26,930 Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong. 283 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:30,310 A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that? 284 00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:32,450 Forty-eight into 120? 285 00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:35,359 I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat. 286 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,080 It's 40 percent. 287 00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:40,450 Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, 288 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,990 and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X. 289 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:45,790 Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries. 290 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,260 So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet? 291 00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,945 Well, there's this guy in my calculus class... 292 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,870 - Who is it? - It's a senior? 293 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:58,630 - His name's Aaron Samuels. - No! 294 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,810 Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels. 295 00:15:01,010 --> 00:15:02,670 That's Regina's ex-boyfriend. 296 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,110 They went out for a year. 297 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:05,685 Yeah, and then she was devastated 298 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,422 when he broke up with her last summer. 299 00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,610 I thought she dumped him for Shane Oman. 300 00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:12,480 OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. 301 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:15,050 I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism. 302 00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:20,090 Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina what you said. 303 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,130 It'll be our little secret. 304 00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:27,300 We define the sum of the infinite geometric series... 305 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,330 Even though I wasn't allowed to like Aaron, 306 00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:32,230 I was still allowed to look at him. 307 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:34,870 And think about him. 308 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:39,240 And talk to him. 309 00:15:39,450 --> 00:15:41,534 - Hey, Aar... - Hey, you're the Africa girl, right? 310 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,610 - Yeah. - I'm Kevin Gnapoor, 311 00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,362 captain of the North Shore Mathletes. 312 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,650 We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state, 313 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:51,194 and we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl. 314 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:52,880 So you should think about joining. 315 00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:55,590 - Oh, you'd be perfect for it. - Yeah, definitely. 316 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,060 Great, great. Let me give you my card. 317 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:02,830 OK, so think it over. 318 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:06,100 Because we'd like to get jackets. 319 00:16:06,910 --> 00:16:08,470 OK. 320 00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:22,520 Hey! 321 00:16:24,130 --> 00:16:26,250 Get in, loser. We're going shopping. 322 00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,850 Regina's like the Barbie doll I never had. 323 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,430 I'd never seen anybody so glamorous. 324 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,860 - So how do you like North Shore? - It's good. 325 00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:38,510 I think I'm joining the Mathletes. 326 00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:39,940 - No! No, no. - No, no. 327 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,700 You cannot do that. That is social suicide. 328 00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:45,540 Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you. 329 00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:59,950 Being at Old Orctard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. 330 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,460 By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat. 331 00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:12,840 Oh, my God, there's Jason! 332 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,740 Where? Oh, there he is. 333 00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:19,899 - And he's with Taylor Wedell. - I heard they're going out. 334 00:17:19,980 --> 00:17:22,580 Wait. Jason's not going out with Taylor. 335 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,120 No. He cannot blow you off like that. 336 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,590 He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone. 337 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,185 - You're not gonna call him, right? - Do you think I'm an idiot? 338 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,890 No. 339 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,860 - Wedell on South Boulevard. - Caller ID. 340 00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:40,730 Not when you connect from Information. 341 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:42,160 - Hello? - Hello. 342 00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,829 May I please speak to Taylor Wedell? 343 00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,630 She's not home yet. Who's calling? 344 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,810 Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. 345 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:51,600 I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. 346 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:54,110 It's urgent. Thank you. 347 00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,040 She's not going out with anyone. 348 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,810 OK, that was so fetch. 349 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,060 Mom. 350 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,540 Your house is really nice. 351 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:25,680 I know, right? 352 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,569 Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. 353 00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:29,810 They're hard as rocks. 354 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,550 I'm home! Hey, Kylie. 355 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:35,580 Hey. 356 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:40,550 Hey, hey, hey! How are my best girlfriends? 357 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,530 Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady. 358 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,760 Hello, sweetheart. 359 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:48,470 - Hi. - Welcome to our home. 360 00:18:51,410 --> 00:18:54,770 Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? 361 00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:57,880 There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. 362 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,670 I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina? 363 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,350 - Please stop talking. - OK. 364 00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:05,640 I'm gonna make you girls a "hump day" treat. 365 00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:12,920 This is your room? 366 00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:16,360 It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me. 367 00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:19,070 Hey, put on 98.8. 368 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:26,210 Cady, do you even know who sings this? 369 00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:29,480 - The Spice Girls? - I love her. 370 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,940 She's like a Martian. 371 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:34,480 - God, my hips are huge! - Oh, please. I hate my calves. 372 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,380 At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders. 373 00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:40,210 I used to think there was just fat and skinny. 374 00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,939 Apparently, there's a lot of things that can be wrong on your body. 375 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:45,820 - My hairline is so weird. - My pores are huge. 376 00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:47,320 My nail beds suck. 377 00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:52,600 I have really bad breath in the morning. 378 00:19:54,670 --> 00:19:58,260 Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from 4 to 6! 379 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,700 Thanks. 380 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,450 Is there alcohol in this? 381 00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:08,100 Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am? 382 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,510 Do you want a bit? If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house. 383 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,240 - No, thank you. - OK. 384 00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:17,920 So, you guys, what is the 411? 385 00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:20,720 What has everybody been up to? 386 00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,960 What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything. 387 00:20:24,170 --> 00:20:26,337 What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams? 388 00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:27,870 Mom. 389 00:20:28,070 --> 00:20:30,470 - Could you go fix your hair? - OK. 390 00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:34,110 You girls keep me young. Oh, I love you so much. 391 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:39,010 Oh, my God, I remember this. 392 00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:42,340 - I haven't looked at that in forever. - Come check it out, Cady. 393 00:20:42,550 --> 00:20:43,780 It's our Burn Book. 394 00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:45,939 See, we cut out girls' pictures from the yearbook, 395 00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:47,950 and then we wrote comments. 396 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,150 - "Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch." - Still true. 397 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:54,820 - "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin." - Still half true. 398 00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:59,830 "Amber D'Alessio." She made out with a hot dog. 399 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,140 "Janis Ian, dyke." 400 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,340 - Who is that? - I think that's that kid Damian. 401 00:21:05,810 --> 00:21:08,370 Yeah. He's almost too gay to function. 402 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,300 That's funny. Put that in there. 403 00:21:11,510 --> 00:21:14,680 Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Janis said it. 404 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,609 And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things 405 00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:20,315 - about all the girls in our grade. - What does it say about me? 406 00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:23,680 - You're not in it. - Those bitches. 407 00:21:23,890 --> 00:21:25,599 - Will this minimize my pores? - No. Cady, 408 00:21:25,790 --> 00:21:27,260 you gotta steal that book. 409 00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:29,294 - No way! - Oh, come on. We could publish it, 410 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,870 and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is. 411 00:21:32,070 --> 00:21:34,760 - I don't steal. - That is for your feet. 412 00:21:34,970 --> 00:21:37,960 Cady, there are two kinds of evil people. 413 00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:39,570 People who do evil stuff, 414 00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:43,370 and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it. 415 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:48,120 Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit? 416 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:49,950 Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury. 417 00:21:50,150 --> 00:21:51,709 I love seeing teachers outside of school. 418 00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:53,880 It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. 419 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,179 Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here. 420 00:21:57,260 --> 00:21:59,820 Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling. 421 00:22:00,130 --> 00:22:02,930 - You shopping? - No, I'm just here with my boyfriend. 422 00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:08,860 Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes. 423 00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:11,630 My Nana takes her wig off when she's drunk. 424 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,930 Your Nana and I have that in common. 425 00:22:14,140 --> 00:22:16,932 No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week 426 00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:18,770 down at P. J. Calamity's. 427 00:22:19,810 --> 00:22:21,650 Cady, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know, 428 00:22:21,850 --> 00:22:23,267 because we start in a couple weeks 429 00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:25,169 and I would love to have a girl on the team, 430 00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:27,550 just, you know, so the team could meet a girl. 431 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,720 - I think I'm gonna do it. - Great. 432 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,190 You can't join Mathletes. It's social suicide. 433 00:22:32,390 --> 00:22:34,690 Thanks, Damian. 434 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,450 Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. 435 00:22:38,670 --> 00:22:40,600 And I'll see you guys tomorrow. 436 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,390 - Bye. - Bye. 437 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,770 Oh, man, that is bleak. 438 00:22:45,970 --> 00:22:47,840 So when are you gonna see Regina again? 439 00:22:48,310 --> 00:22:50,110 I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird. 440 00:22:50,310 --> 00:22:54,150 Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret. 441 00:22:57,550 --> 00:22:59,080 - Hello? - I know your secret. 442 00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:00,520 Oh, God, busted. 443 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,950 Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool. 444 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,750 Secret? What are you saying about? 445 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,090 Gretchen told me that you like Aaron Samuels. 446 00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:09,490 I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want. 447 00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:12,030 But let me just tell you something about Aaron: 448 00:23:12,230 --> 00:23:16,570 All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends. 449 00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:19,040 - Is that bad? - But if you like him... 450 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,400 Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want. 451 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:25,527 Really? You would do that? I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right? 452 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,270 Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it. 453 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,710 But wait. Aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling me? 454 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,290 - No. - Because if you are, 455 00:23:34,490 --> 00:23:37,690 you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do. 456 00:23:37,890 --> 00:23:40,860 Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad. 457 00:23:41,060 --> 00:23:42,549 I mean, I guess she just likes the attention. 458 00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,389 See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you. 459 00:23:44,470 --> 00:23:46,149 I can't believe you think I like attention! 460 00:23:46,230 --> 00:23:48,930 OK, love you. See you tomorrow. 461 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:51,670 I had survived my first three-way calling attack. 462 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:55,600 And with Regina's blessing, I started talking to Aaron more and more. 463 00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:58,280 On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. 464 00:23:58,650 --> 00:24:00,240 It's October 3rd. 465 00:24:00,450 --> 00:24:02,310 Two weeks later, we spoke again. 466 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,210 It's raining. 467 00:24:04,420 --> 00:24:05,940 Yeah. 468 00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:07,920 But I wanted things to move faster. 469 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,490 So I followed my instincts. 470 00:24:10,690 --> 00:24:13,420 Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me? 471 00:24:13,630 --> 00:24:14,860 - But I wasn't lost. - Yeah. 472 00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:17,049 I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury was talking about. 473 00:24:17,130 --> 00:24:20,100 It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N. 474 00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:21,530 Wrong. 475 00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:23,030 Is that the summation? 476 00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:25,700 Yeah, they're the same thing. 477 00:24:25,910 --> 00:24:27,770 Wrong. He was so wrong. 478 00:24:27,980 --> 00:24:31,210 Thanks. I... I get it now. 479 00:24:31,410 --> 00:24:35,080 Lights, please. OK. See you guys tomorrow. 480 00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:39,510 We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight. 481 00:24:40,090 --> 00:24:41,990 You wanna come? 482 00:24:42,290 --> 00:24:43,850 Yeah, sure. 483 00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:46,290 Great. Here's where it is. 484 00:24:46,490 --> 00:24:48,790 It's a costume party. People get pretty into it. 485 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,600 OK. 486 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,930 That flier admits one person only, 487 00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:56,230 so don't bring some other guy with you. 488 00:24:56,670 --> 00:24:58,260 "Grool." 489 00:24:58,910 --> 00:25:01,202 I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great". 490 00:25:01,510 --> 00:25:04,540 Right. Well... grool. 491 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,780 See you tonight. 492 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:12,140 Hey, Africa. You staying for the Mathletes meeting? 493 00:25:12,590 --> 00:25:14,380 Yeah, I'll be right back. 494 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,960 OK, I lied. But I had to go home and work on my costume. 495 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:23,490 In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes 496 00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:25,030 and beg for candy. 497 00:25:25,230 --> 00:25:27,790 In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year 498 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,590 when a girl can dress like a total slut 499 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,770 and no other girls can say anything about it. 500 00:25:31,970 --> 00:25:33,800 The hard-core girls just wear lingerie 501 00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:35,600 and some form of animal ears. 502 00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:37,610 Doesn't she look great, honey? 503 00:25:39,810 --> 00:25:42,650 - What are you? - I'm a mouse. 504 00:25:44,150 --> 00:25:46,640 Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule. 505 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:49,580 So I showed up like this. 506 00:25:55,530 --> 00:25:57,020 Hey. 507 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,760 Yes! Yes! 508 00:26:06,710 --> 00:26:08,200 Hey. 509 00:26:08,740 --> 00:26:10,510 Why are you dressed so scary? 510 00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:12,670 It's Halloween. 511 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,370 Have you seen Jason? 512 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,810 You know who's looking fine tonight? 513 00:26:17,020 --> 00:26:19,040 Seth Mosakowski. 514 00:26:19,250 --> 00:26:23,020 - OK, you did not just say that. - What? He's a good kisser. 515 00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:24,560 He's your cousin. 516 00:26:24,930 --> 00:26:26,520 Yeah, but he's my first cousin. 517 00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:28,900 - Right. - So you have your cousins 518 00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:30,760 and then you have your first cousins, 519 00:26:30,970 --> 00:26:33,530 - then you have your second cousins... - No, honey. 520 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,570 That's not right, is it? 521 00:26:35,770 --> 00:26:37,360 That is so not right. 522 00:26:37,570 --> 00:26:39,560 - Hey! - Hey. 523 00:26:39,770 --> 00:26:41,240 You made it. 524 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:45,400 And you are... a zombie bride. 525 00:26:45,610 --> 00:26:47,310 An "ex-wife". 526 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,540 Love it. Can I get you something to drink? 527 00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:51,220 - Yeah. - Be right back. 528 00:26:51,420 --> 00:26:53,150 Thanks. 529 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,250 Karen, stop it. 530 00:26:56,660 --> 00:26:58,890 - Don't, Karen... - Hey, Seth! 531 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,830 Hey. 532 00:27:04,030 --> 00:27:05,730 Oh, no. 533 00:27:05,930 --> 00:27:07,260 Didn't anybody tell you? 534 00:27:07,470 --> 00:27:09,030 You were supposed to wear a costume. 535 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,370 Shut up. I need to talk to you. 536 00:27:12,570 --> 00:27:14,940 - You know that girl Cady? - Yeah, she's cool. 537 00:27:15,140 --> 00:27:16,440 I invited her tonight. 538 00:27:17,780 --> 00:27:20,210 Well, be careful because she has a huge crush on you. 539 00:27:20,620 --> 00:27:22,780 Really? How do you know? 540 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,250 Because she told me. 541 00:27:25,450 --> 00:27:27,920 She tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually. 542 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,829 She's like a little girl. She, like, writes all over her notebook, 543 00:27:30,990 --> 00:27:32,320 "Mrs. Aaron Samuels." 544 00:27:32,690 --> 00:27:34,990 And she made this T-shirt that says "I heart Aaron" 545 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,030 and she wears it under all her clothes. 546 00:27:37,230 --> 00:27:39,460 - Oh, come on. - Well, who can blame her? 547 00:27:39,670 --> 00:27:41,030 I mean, you're gorgeous. 548 00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:45,260 And OK, look, I'm not saying she's a stalker, 549 00:27:45,470 --> 00:27:48,000 but she saved this Kleenex you used 550 00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:51,650 and she said she's gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it 551 00:27:51,850 --> 00:27:53,510 to make you like her. 552 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,310 What? 553 00:27:59,690 --> 00:28:00,920 This was it. 554 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,579 Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me, and now she was. 555 00:28:03,690 --> 00:28:08,130 I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend, 556 00:28:08,330 --> 00:28:10,960 so just promise me you won't make fun of her. 557 00:28:11,170 --> 00:28:12,795 Of course I'm not gonna make fun of her. 558 00:28:13,370 --> 00:28:14,990 How could Janis hate Regina? 559 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,260 Ste was such a good... 560 00:28:18,270 --> 00:28:19,500 Slut! 561 00:28:26,110 --> 00:28:28,600 What are you doing? You broke up with me. 562 00:28:28,950 --> 00:28:31,650 That's crazy. Why would I break up with you? 563 00:28:31,850 --> 00:28:34,050 You're so hot. 564 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,690 That's a scary mask, bro. 565 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,760 I had never felt this feeling before. 566 00:28:44,970 --> 00:28:46,630 I could tear my heartbeat in my ears. 567 00:28:46,830 --> 00:28:49,039 My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt. 568 00:28:49,170 --> 00:28:52,230 I had this lump in my throat like after you dry-swallow a big pill. 569 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,170 I hated Regina. I hated her! 570 00:29:11,260 --> 00:29:12,750 She took him back. 571 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,620 Regina took Aaron back. 572 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,020 - Oh, no, Cady. - Why would she do that? 573 00:29:18,230 --> 00:29:19,860 Because she's a life-ruiner. 574 00:29:20,070 --> 00:29:21,800 She ruins people's lives. 575 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,100 When we were 13, she made people sign this petition 576 00:29:24,310 --> 00:29:26,170 - saying that Janis was... - Damian! Please! 577 00:29:26,370 --> 00:29:28,359 Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, OK? 578 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,100 - We're gonna do something. - We are? 579 00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:34,970 Regina George is an evil dictator. 580 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,540 Now, how do you overthrow a dictator? 581 00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:40,150 You cut off her resources. 582 00:29:40,350 --> 00:29:43,480 Regina would be nothing without her high-status man candy... 583 00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:46,580 ...technically good physique... 584 00:29:48,260 --> 00:29:50,460 ...and ignorant band of loyal followers. 585 00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:55,560 Now, Cady, if we want this to work, 586 00:29:55,770 --> 00:29:58,289 you are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. 587 00:29:58,370 --> 00:30:00,000 Can you do it? 588 00:30:00,310 --> 00:30:01,570 I can do it. 589 00:30:01,780 --> 00:30:04,640 OK, let's rock this bitch. 590 00:30:06,180 --> 00:30:09,210 Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. 591 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:12,504 Regina wanted me to tell you that she was trying to hook you up with Aaron, 592 00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:14,850 but he was just interested in getting her back. 593 00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:16,390 And that's not Regina's fault. 594 00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:18,920 - No, I know. - OK, so you're not mad at Regina? 595 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,680 - God, no. - Oh, OK, good. 596 00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:24,590 Because Regina wanted me to give you this. 597 00:30:28,070 --> 00:30:29,612 It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, 598 00:30:29,700 --> 00:30:31,930 and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours. 599 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:33,474 This isn't even cranberry juice. 600 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:35,670 It's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar. 601 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,970 - I wanna lose 3 pounds. - You're crazy. 602 00:30:40,050 --> 00:30:43,540 Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back. 603 00:30:43,850 --> 00:30:46,840 Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back. 604 00:30:47,050 --> 00:30:49,780 Regina was dangling Aaron in front of me on purpose. 605 00:30:49,990 --> 00:30:52,390 I knew how this would be settled in the animal world. 606 00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:03,330 But this was Girl World. 607 00:31:03,540 --> 00:31:05,300 Your hair looks sexy pushed back. 608 00:31:06,770 --> 00:31:10,300 And in Girl World, all the fighting had to be sneaky. 609 00:31:11,550 --> 00:31:15,110 All this cranberry juice is making me break out. 610 00:31:15,580 --> 00:31:17,950 Wait. I have this really good skin stuff I'll bring you. 611 00:31:18,150 --> 00:31:19,120 OK. 612 00:31:19,650 --> 00:31:23,020 We kept our eyes open for opportunities for sabotage. 613 00:31:29,330 --> 00:31:31,160 Regina. 614 00:31:31,370 --> 00:31:32,860 - Here you go. - Thank you. 615 00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:38,770 - Hey. - Hey. 616 00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:46,010 Your face smells like peppermint. 617 00:32:19,450 --> 00:32:20,910 This is ass, you guys. 618 00:32:21,550 --> 00:32:25,320 It's been a month, and all we've done is make Regina's face smell like a foot. 619 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,869 I've been really busy with choir. 620 00:32:26,950 --> 00:32:28,510 We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. 621 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,554 We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock 622 00:32:30,660 --> 00:32:32,350 on Regina's whole dirty history. 623 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,080 - Say "crack" again. - Crack. 624 00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:36,290 - All right, let's reconvene tonight. - I can't. 625 00:32:36,500 --> 00:32:38,970 I have to go to Regina's to practise for the talent show. 626 00:32:39,170 --> 00:32:42,030 - We're doing a dance to this song... - "Jingle Bell Rock." 627 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:43,460 You guys know that song? 628 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:46,160 Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song. 629 00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:48,000 They do it every year. 630 00:32:48,210 --> 00:32:50,110 Well, I have to learn it. 631 00:32:50,310 --> 00:32:52,010 Go. 632 00:32:52,310 --> 00:32:55,180 - Hey. - Why were you talking to Janis Ian? 633 00:32:55,380 --> 00:32:56,899 I don't know, I mean, she's so weird. 634 00:32:56,980 --> 00:32:59,939 She just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack. 635 00:33:00,620 --> 00:33:01,920 She's so pathetic. 636 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,550 Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. 637 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,302 We were best friends in middle school. 638 00:33:06,490 --> 00:33:07,720 I know, right? 639 00:33:07,930 --> 00:33:10,760 It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. 640 00:33:10,970 --> 00:33:13,689 So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, 641 00:33:13,770 --> 00:33:16,790 Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana. 642 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,400 And Janis was, like, weirdly jealous of him. 643 00:33:19,610 --> 00:33:21,770 Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, 644 00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,970 she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" 645 00:33:24,180 --> 00:33:27,050 And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" 646 00:33:27,250 --> 00:33:30,010 So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, 647 00:33:30,220 --> 00:33:34,150 I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." 648 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,760 I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. 649 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,149 There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. 650 00:33:39,230 --> 00:33:40,720 I mean, right? She was a lesbian. 651 00:33:41,130 --> 00:33:43,379 So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. 652 00:33:43,460 --> 00:33:44,830 It was so retarded. 653 00:33:45,030 --> 00:33:47,419 And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. 654 00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:49,417 When she came back in the fall for high school, 655 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,090 all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, 656 00:33:52,310 --> 00:33:53,640 and now I guess she's on crack. 657 00:33:55,310 --> 00:33:57,140 Oh, my God! I love your skirt. 658 00:33:57,340 --> 00:33:59,070 Where did you get it? 659 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,840 It was my mom's in the '80s. 660 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,440 Vintage. So adorable. 661 00:34:03,650 --> 00:34:05,350 Thanks. 662 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,080 That is the ugliest F-ing skirt I've ever seen. 663 00:34:09,690 --> 00:34:12,320 Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it? 664 00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:17,460 So are you gonna send any candy canes? 665 00:34:17,670 --> 00:34:19,930 No. I don't send them, I just get them. 666 00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:22,800 So you better send me one, byotch. 667 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,230 Love you. 668 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,140 I was definitely sending her one. 669 00:34:27,340 --> 00:34:29,970 I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Gretchen Wieners. 670 00:34:30,180 --> 00:34:31,410 Three, please. 671 00:34:31,610 --> 00:34:35,280 "Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus" 672 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,140 might translate into 673 00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:39,720 "Why is he so huge and obnoxious?" 674 00:34:42,590 --> 00:34:45,790 - Candy cane-grams! - OK, hurry up. 675 00:34:45,990 --> 00:34:48,620 Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you. 676 00:34:48,830 --> 00:34:50,320 Glenn Cocco? 677 00:34:50,530 --> 00:34:54,230 Four for you, Glenn Cocco. You go, Glenn Cocco. 678 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,490 And Cady Heron. 679 00:34:56,700 --> 00:34:58,000 Do we have a Cady Heron here? 680 00:34:58,210 --> 00:35:00,730 - It's Cady. - Oh, Cady, here you go. 681 00:35:00,940 --> 00:35:04,340 One for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye. 682 00:35:06,410 --> 00:35:07,640 Who's that from? 683 00:35:07,850 --> 00:35:10,440 "Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Regina." 684 00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:12,310 That's so sweet. 685 00:35:12,650 --> 00:35:15,020 OK, back to Caesar. 686 00:35:15,420 --> 00:35:17,390 Once Gretchen thought Regina was mad at her, 687 00:35:17,590 --> 00:35:19,390 the secrets started pouring out. 688 00:35:19,590 --> 00:35:21,620 All I had to do was wait for one we could use. 689 00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:23,300 Thank you. 690 00:35:24,930 --> 00:35:27,990 Welcome to the North Shore High School winter talent show. 691 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,860 Let me hear you make some noise. 692 00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:37,000 All right, settle down. 693 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,810 Our first act calls himself a star on the rise. 694 00:35:42,020 --> 00:35:44,280 Let's hear it for Damian. 695 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:52,090 Don't look at me. 696 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,900 Every day is so wonderful 697 00:35:57,330 --> 00:36:01,390 I mean, why would Regina send you guys candy canes and not me? 698 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,070 Maybe she forgot about you. 699 00:36:03,270 --> 00:36:05,259 Yeah, Regina has been acting kind of weird lately. 700 00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:07,030 I mean, is something bothering her? 701 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,400 Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, 702 00:36:10,610 --> 00:36:11,870 if that's what you mean. 703 00:36:12,810 --> 00:36:15,370 Oh, my God. Don't tell her I told you that. 704 00:36:15,580 --> 00:36:20,450 I am beautiful in every single way 705 00:36:20,650 --> 00:36:23,919 Yes, words can't bring me down 706 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,170 Yes, words can't bring me down 707 00:36:25,860 --> 00:36:29,060 Don't you bring me down today 708 00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:31,420 I mean, no offense, 709 00:36:31,630 --> 00:36:33,260 but why would she send you a candy cane? 710 00:36:33,470 --> 00:36:34,929 She doesn't even like you that much. 711 00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:37,232 Maybe she feels weird around me 712 00:36:37,370 --> 00:36:40,640 because I'm the only person that knows about her nose job. 713 00:36:41,540 --> 00:36:44,380 Oh, my God. Pretend you didn't hear that. 714 00:36:44,850 --> 00:36:46,310 Yo, yo, yo 715 00:36:46,510 --> 00:36:50,380 All you sucker MCs Ain't got nothing on me 716 00:36:50,580 --> 00:36:52,622 From my grades to my lines You can't touch Kevin G 717 00:36:52,790 --> 00:36:54,910 I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred 718 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,279 But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the Third 719 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,050 Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor 720 00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:00,950 The G is silent when I sneak in your door 721 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,160 And make love to your woman On the bathroom floor 722 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,420 I don't play it like Staggy You'll know it was me 723 00:37:05,630 --> 00:37:07,690 Because the next time you see her She'll be like 724 00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:10,800 - Kevin G! - Thank you, Kevin, that's enough. 725 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,530 Happy holidays, everybody. 726 00:37:17,850 --> 00:37:20,040 K.G. And the Power of Three. 727 00:37:20,910 --> 00:37:22,680 That was something. 728 00:37:23,380 --> 00:37:25,969 Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography? 729 00:37:26,050 --> 00:37:27,280 Shut up. 730 00:37:27,490 --> 00:37:29,120 Damn. 731 00:37:29,390 --> 00:37:30,950 - What? - I'd rather see you out there 732 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,390 shaking that thing. 733 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:36,735 Gretchen, switch sides with Cady. 734 00:37:37,430 --> 00:37:38,800 But I'm always on your left. 735 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,200 That was when there were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle. 736 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,560 But the whole dance will be backwards. 737 00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:46,300 I'm always on your left. 738 00:37:46,510 --> 00:37:49,480 And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch. 739 00:37:51,110 --> 00:37:54,050 And finally, please welcome to the stage 740 00:37:54,250 --> 00:37:57,240 Santa's Helpers doing "Jingle Bell Rock". 741 00:38:08,530 --> 00:38:12,360 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 742 00:38:12,570 --> 00:38:16,130 Jingle bells swing And jingle bells ring 743 00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:19,670 Snowing and blowing Up bustels of fun 744 00:38:20,410 --> 00:38:23,930 Now the jingle top has begun 745 00:38:24,140 --> 00:38:27,550 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 746 00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:31,410 Jingle bells chime In jingle bell time 747 00:38:31,620 --> 00:38:35,550 Dancing and prancing In Jingle Bell Square 748 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,090 In the fr... 749 00:38:45,130 --> 00:38:46,430 Jason? 750 00:38:53,010 --> 00:38:56,870 What a bright time It's the right time 751 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,910 To rock the night away 752 00:39:00,580 --> 00:39:05,310 Jingle bell time Is a swell time 753 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,780 To go riding in a one-torse sleigh 754 00:39:08,990 --> 00:39:12,430 Giddyap jingle torse Pick up your feet 755 00:39:12,630 --> 00:39:15,990 Jingle around the clock 756 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,830 Mix and mingle in a jingling beat 757 00:39:20,030 --> 00:39:21,730 That's the jingle bell 758 00:39:21,940 --> 00:39:23,430 That's the jingle bell 759 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,940 That's the jingle bell rock 760 00:39:41,690 --> 00:39:42,982 That was the best it ever went! 761 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,180 - That was awesome. - Lip gloss. 762 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,780 - Hey, good job, Africa. - Thanks. 763 00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,330 Cady's blushing. Oh, my God. 764 00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:52,900 - You totally have a crush on that guy. - No, I don't. 765 00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:54,892 That's why you wanted to join the Mathletes. 766 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,700 Mathletes? You hate math. 767 00:39:56,900 --> 00:39:58,530 Look how red she is. 768 00:39:58,740 --> 00:40:00,970 You love him. And he totally complimented you. 769 00:40:01,170 --> 00:40:02,800 That is so fetch. 770 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,540 Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen. 771 00:40:05,750 --> 00:40:07,210 It's not going to happen. 772 00:40:12,550 --> 00:40:14,880 Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant 773 00:40:15,090 --> 00:40:19,020 while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? 774 00:40:19,230 --> 00:40:20,820 What's so great about Caesar? 775 00:40:21,030 --> 00:40:22,690 Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. 776 00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:24,520 OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. 777 00:40:24,730 --> 00:40:27,189 People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. 778 00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:28,919 And when did it become OK for one person 779 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,260 to be the boss of everybody? 780 00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:32,012 Because that's not what Rome is about! 781 00:40:32,140 --> 00:40:34,940 We should totally just stab Caesar!" 782 00:40:36,740 --> 00:40:38,970 Gretchen Wieners had cracked. 783 00:40:39,850 --> 00:40:43,480 OK, if you even knew how mean she really is. 784 00:40:44,020 --> 00:40:47,080 You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? 785 00:40:47,290 --> 00:40:50,420 Yeah. Two years ago, she told me that hoop earrings were her thing 786 00:40:50,620 --> 00:40:52,537 and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. 787 00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:54,850 And then for my Hanukkah, my parents got me this pair 788 00:40:55,060 --> 00:40:57,830 of really expensive white-gold hoops. 789 00:40:58,030 --> 00:41:00,930 And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them, 790 00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:02,600 and it was so sad. 791 00:41:03,270 --> 00:41:04,790 And you know she cheats on Aaron? 792 00:41:05,010 --> 00:41:07,200 Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep. 793 00:41:07,410 --> 00:41:10,160 But really, she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room 794 00:41:10,340 --> 00:41:12,040 above the auditorium, 795 00:41:12,250 --> 00:41:14,540 and I never told anybody that, because... 796 00:41:14,750 --> 00:41:18,210 ...I'm such a good friend. 797 00:41:20,590 --> 00:41:24,350 Jackpot. Gretchen's secret had put the plan back in motion. 798 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,435 After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday 799 00:41:26,630 --> 00:41:28,750 to help Aaron catch Regina in the act. 800 00:42:00,430 --> 00:42:01,660 Hey. 801 00:42:01,860 --> 00:42:03,350 Hey, what's up? 802 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,120 My purse! 803 00:42:05,930 --> 00:42:07,749 Looks like he's headed for the projection room 804 00:42:07,830 --> 00:42:09,460 above the auditorium! 805 00:42:19,150 --> 00:42:20,980 Coach Carr? 806 00:42:22,250 --> 00:42:23,940 Trang Pak? 807 00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:24,620 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 808 00:42:24,621 --> 00:42:26,509 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 809 00:42:26,590 --> 00:42:29,210 No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box. 810 00:42:29,420 --> 00:42:31,050 What are Kälteen bars? 811 00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,160 They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. 812 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,319 My mom used to give them to the kids in Africa to help them gain weight. 813 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,270 They're these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. 814 00:42:43,470 --> 00:42:45,170 Give me it. 815 00:42:48,010 --> 00:42:50,480 It's all in, like, Swedish or something. 816 00:42:50,940 --> 00:42:53,110 Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them 817 00:42:53,310 --> 00:42:55,080 that's not legal in the U.S. yet. 818 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,180 - Ephedrine? - No. 819 00:42:57,380 --> 00:42:59,510 - Phentermine. - No. 820 00:43:01,050 --> 00:43:04,460 It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs. 821 00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:07,160 I really wanna lose 3 pounds. 822 00:43:08,430 --> 00:43:09,979 Oh, my God, what are you talking about? 823 00:43:10,060 --> 00:43:11,330 You're so skinny. 824 00:43:11,530 --> 00:43:12,900 Shut up. 825 00:43:13,670 --> 00:43:15,419 The weird thing about hanging out with Regina 826 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:17,389 was that I could hate her, and at the same time, 827 00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:18,800 I still wanted her to like me. 828 00:43:19,010 --> 00:43:21,370 OK. You have really good eyebrows. 829 00:43:21,580 --> 00:43:23,200 - Thanks. - Move. 830 00:43:23,540 --> 00:43:26,140 Same with Gretchen. The meaner Regina was to her, 831 00:43:26,350 --> 00:43:28,510 the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. 832 00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:31,120 Ste knew it was better to be in The Plastics, hating life 833 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,980 than to not be in at all. 834 00:43:33,420 --> 00:43:36,390 Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. 835 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,309 People looked at you all the time, 836 00:43:38,390 --> 00:43:40,660 and everybody just knew stuff about you. 837 00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:43,020 That new girl moved here from Africa. 838 00:43:43,230 --> 00:43:45,630 I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, 839 00:43:45,830 --> 00:43:48,390 so I bought Army pants and flip-flops. 840 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,130 That Cady girl is hot. 841 00:43:50,340 --> 00:43:52,310 She might even be hotter than Regina George. 842 00:43:52,510 --> 00:43:55,240 I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. 843 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,310 The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. 844 00:43:58,510 --> 00:44:00,740 They've been inseparable ever since. 845 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,760 I was a woman possessed. 846 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,620 I spent about 80 percent of my time talking about Regina. 847 00:44:15,830 --> 00:44:17,279 And the other 20 percent of the time, 848 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,189 I was praying for someone else to bring her up 849 00:44:19,270 --> 00:44:21,060 so I could talk about her more. 850 00:44:21,270 --> 00:44:23,589 She's not even that good-looking if you really look at her. 851 00:44:23,670 --> 00:44:25,570 I don't know. Now that's she's getting fatter, 852 00:44:25,770 --> 00:44:27,210 she's got pretty big jugs. 853 00:44:27,410 --> 00:44:29,119 I could hear people getting bored with me. 854 00:44:29,210 --> 00:44:32,650 But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. 855 00:44:33,050 --> 00:44:36,467 I have this theory that if you cut all her hair off, she'd look like a British man. 856 00:44:36,580 --> 00:44:39,550 Yeah, I know. You told me that one before. 857 00:44:40,090 --> 00:44:41,350 Hey, I'm having an art show. 858 00:44:41,550 --> 00:44:43,739 So why don't you take a night off from your double life. 859 00:44:43,820 --> 00:44:46,220 - I want you to see it. - Coolness. 860 00:44:47,890 --> 00:44:49,120 What is that smell? 861 00:44:49,330 --> 00:44:51,160 Oh, Regina gave me some perfume. 862 00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,260 You smell like a baby prostitute. 863 00:44:53,470 --> 00:44:54,730 Thanks. 864 00:44:56,140 --> 00:44:59,400 Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Aaron. 865 00:44:59,610 --> 00:45:02,230 I don't get this. Do you get any of this? 866 00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,470 Nice job, Cady. 867 00:45:05,610 --> 00:45:07,740 Kind of seems like you get it. 868 00:45:08,010 --> 00:45:10,740 If I was gonna keep this going, I was gonna have to really commit. 869 00:45:13,490 --> 00:45:14,920 Not your best. 870 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,820 Damn, Africa, what happened? 871 00:45:18,020 --> 00:45:20,720 - How'd you do? - Not so good. 872 00:45:20,930 --> 00:45:22,520 You know, I think I need a tutor. 873 00:45:23,260 --> 00:45:26,260 I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something. 874 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,160 Do you think Regina would mind? 875 00:45:28,370 --> 00:45:29,930 No. You guys are friends. 876 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,630 Well, maybe we just won't tell her. 877 00:45:35,140 --> 00:45:37,370 So, what did you get for this one? 878 00:45:37,580 --> 00:45:39,372 Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero. 879 00:45:39,580 --> 00:45:42,410 - Wrong. - But then when I checked it, I got... 880 00:45:42,620 --> 00:45:44,140 - ...one. - There you go. 881 00:45:44,350 --> 00:45:45,940 I got one too. 882 00:45:46,590 --> 00:45:49,110 Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product 883 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,810 of two negative integers is a positive number. 884 00:45:52,290 --> 00:45:54,490 Yeah, like negative four and negative six. 885 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,820 That's right. That's good. 886 00:45:58,030 --> 00:46:00,120 Well, you're a good tutor. 887 00:46:08,510 --> 00:46:12,840 Man, look, I... I can't do this. 888 00:46:13,050 --> 00:46:15,810 - It's not fair to Regina. - Why do you like her? 889 00:46:16,020 --> 00:46:18,710 Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but... 890 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,820 - Then why do you like her? - Why do you? 891 00:46:21,390 --> 00:46:23,209 Look, there's good and bad to everybody. Right? 892 00:46:23,290 --> 00:46:24,980 Regina's just... 893 00:46:25,190 --> 00:46:28,020 - She's just more up-front about it. - Oh, no. It was coming up. 894 00:46:28,230 --> 00:46:30,079 The word vomit. I didn't mean to say it, but... 895 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,930 She's cheating on you! 896 00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:35,530 What? 897 00:46:40,110 --> 00:46:42,400 Did he say why? 898 00:46:42,610 --> 00:46:44,510 Somebody told him about Shane Oman. 899 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,410 Who? 900 00:46:46,610 --> 00:46:48,152 He said some guy on the baseball team. 901 00:46:48,310 --> 00:46:50,440 Baseball team? 902 00:46:50,650 --> 00:46:54,050 I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him. 903 00:46:54,250 --> 00:46:55,780 You wanna do something fun? 904 00:46:56,620 --> 00:46:58,180 You wanna go to Taco Bell? 905 00:46:58,390 --> 00:47:01,720 I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. 906 00:47:01,930 --> 00:47:04,760 God, Karen, you are so stupid! 907 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,450 Regina, wait. Talk to me. 908 00:47:06,670 --> 00:47:09,760 - Nobody understands me. - I understand you. 909 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:11,800 You're not stupid, Karen. 910 00:47:12,010 --> 00:47:14,200 No. I am, actually. 911 00:47:14,410 --> 00:47:16,600 I'm failing almost everything. 912 00:47:16,810 --> 00:47:18,740 Well, there must be something you're good at. 913 00:47:20,550 --> 00:47:22,310 I can put my whole fist in my mouth. 914 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:23,740 Wanna see? 915 00:47:23,950 --> 00:47:25,780 No. That's OK. 916 00:47:25,990 --> 00:47:27,250 Anything else? 917 00:47:28,250 --> 00:47:30,090 I'm kind of psychic. 918 00:47:30,290 --> 00:47:32,160 I have a fifth sense. 919 00:47:32,930 --> 00:47:36,230 - What do you mean? - It's like I have ESPN or something. 920 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:40,060 My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain. 921 00:47:41,530 --> 00:47:44,090 Really? That's amazing. 922 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,970 Well, they can tell when it's raining. 923 00:47:51,980 --> 00:47:53,810 I have to admit, I was mildly horrified 924 00:47:54,010 --> 00:47:56,385 when Aaron didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend. 925 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,854 I mean, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need? 926 00:47:58,950 --> 00:48:00,440 Regina had moved on. 927 00:48:03,260 --> 00:48:05,620 Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? 928 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:07,520 A condom? 929 00:48:07,730 --> 00:48:11,160 Let me know. Oh, God love you. 930 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,152 But overall, the plan was going pretty well. 931 00:48:13,300 --> 00:48:15,430 Aaron had dumped Regina, and she was unknowingly 932 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,300 eating 5,000 calories a day. 933 00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:19,792 It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks. 934 00:48:21,210 --> 00:48:23,979 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 935 00:48:23,980 --> 00:48:26,099 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 936 00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:28,370 Regina George. 937 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,940 Gretchen Wieners. 938 00:48:33,990 --> 00:48:35,220 Janis Ian. 939 00:48:36,060 --> 00:48:38,220 What is happening to the world? 940 00:48:38,930 --> 00:48:40,360 And the final nominee... 941 00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,050 I couldn't help myself. It was so easy. 942 00:48:43,260 --> 00:48:44,490 ...is Cady Heron. 943 00:48:45,230 --> 00:48:47,730 Damian, you put me in there too? That's not part of the plan. 944 00:48:47,870 --> 00:48:49,490 I didn't put you in there. 945 00:48:49,700 --> 00:48:51,800 You mean I'm really nominated? 946 00:48:55,740 --> 00:48:58,300 In January, Regina had put a Spring Fling dress on hold 947 00:48:58,510 --> 00:49:00,040 at a store called 1-3-5. 948 00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:02,240 But being Plastic, she needed our advice 949 00:49:02,450 --> 00:49:03,799 before she could actually buy it. 950 00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:05,580 Can someone zip me up? 951 00:49:08,450 --> 00:49:11,010 - It won't close. - It's a 5. 952 00:49:11,220 --> 00:49:12,850 OK, it must be marked wrong. 953 00:49:13,060 --> 00:49:15,930 Cady, all I've been eating are these Kälteen bars. They suck. 954 00:49:16,130 --> 00:49:18,290 No, no, this is just how they work. 955 00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:19,860 This is all your water weight. 956 00:49:20,070 --> 00:49:22,690 First you bloat, and then you drop 10 pounds like that: 957 00:49:23,470 --> 00:49:25,800 Well, the Kälteen bars have burned up all your carbs, 958 00:49:26,010 --> 00:49:27,730 and now your body's just running on water. 959 00:49:27,940 --> 00:49:30,107 But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle. 960 00:49:30,210 --> 00:49:31,910 It explains it all on the label. 961 00:49:32,110 --> 00:49:33,540 You know Swedish? 962 00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:36,370 Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish. 963 00:49:36,950 --> 00:49:39,010 Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up? 964 00:49:39,220 --> 00:49:42,120 Sorry. We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. 965 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:43,550 You could try Sears. 966 00:49:55,540 --> 00:49:57,200 Cady. 967 00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:00,460 I need your parents to sign this so they know that you're failing. 968 00:50:01,140 --> 00:50:02,370 Failing? 969 00:50:02,580 --> 00:50:04,497 You know what's weird about your quizzes, Cady, 970 00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,440 is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong. 971 00:50:07,810 --> 00:50:10,010 - Really? - Really. 972 00:50:10,220 --> 00:50:12,080 Cady, I know that having a boyfriend 973 00:50:12,290 --> 00:50:15,120 may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, 974 00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,987 but you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you. 975 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:19,750 - How would you know? - I know, 976 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,930 "How would I know", right? 977 00:50:22,130 --> 00:50:25,220 I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. 978 00:50:25,430 --> 00:50:28,460 The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. 979 00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,260 And you know why? 980 00:50:30,470 --> 00:50:33,030 Because I'm a pusher. I push people. 981 00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:36,000 I pushed my husband into law school. That was a bust. 982 00:50:36,210 --> 00:50:38,470 I pushed myself into working three jobs. 983 00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,080 And now I'm gonna push you 984 00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,180 because I know you're smarter than this. 985 00:50:42,380 --> 00:50:44,547 Thanks, Ms. Norbury. And if there's anything I can do 986 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:46,209 for extra credit, please let me know. 987 00:50:46,290 --> 00:50:47,650 Oh, I will. 988 00:50:48,290 --> 00:50:50,590 I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose 989 00:50:50,790 --> 00:50:52,549 because I didn't join those stupid Mathletes! 990 00:50:52,630 --> 00:50:53,850 She was so queer. 991 00:50:54,060 --> 00:50:56,650 She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher." 992 00:50:57,730 --> 00:50:58,960 What does that even mean? 993 00:50:59,170 --> 00:51:01,160 - Like a drug pusher? - Probably. 994 00:51:01,370 --> 00:51:02,890 She said she works three jobs. 995 00:51:03,100 --> 00:51:04,789 You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side 996 00:51:04,870 --> 00:51:06,204 to pay for her pathetic divorce. 997 00:51:06,310 --> 00:51:08,170 You let it out, honey. 998 00:51:08,370 --> 00:51:10,340 Put it in the book. 999 00:51:15,050 --> 00:51:17,180 I know it may look like I'd become a bitch, 1000 00:51:17,380 --> 00:51:19,820 but that's only because I was acting like a bitch. 1001 00:51:20,020 --> 00:51:22,720 Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back? 1002 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,860 Oh, I got busy. Sorry. 1003 00:51:25,060 --> 00:51:27,550 So you need a ride to my art show this weekend? 1004 00:51:28,190 --> 00:51:30,360 No. I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1005 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,090 I'm so sorry. 1006 00:51:32,300 --> 00:51:33,890 Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight? 1007 00:51:34,100 --> 00:51:37,300 Can't. I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight. 1008 00:51:37,540 --> 00:51:40,030 But we don't have anything planned for tonight. 1009 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,470 Oh, I planned this one on my own. 1010 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:43,900 Love you. Bye. 1011 00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,229 Gretchen thinks you're mad at her 1012 00:51:48,310 --> 00:51:50,069 because she's running for Spring Fling Queen. 1013 00:51:50,150 --> 00:51:53,210 Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her. 1014 00:51:53,420 --> 00:51:55,579 I think somebody nominated her as a joke or something. 1015 00:51:55,660 --> 00:51:58,720 And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown. 1016 00:51:58,930 --> 00:52:01,220 And who's gonna have to take care of her? Me. 1017 00:52:01,430 --> 00:52:04,790 So you don't think anyone will vote for her? 1018 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,760 Cady, she's not pretty. 1019 00:52:06,970 --> 00:52:09,090 I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. 1020 00:52:09,300 --> 00:52:11,360 The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty. 1021 00:52:11,570 --> 00:52:13,630 And the crazy thing is is that it should be Karen, 1022 00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,430 but people forget about her because she's such a slut. 1023 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,670 Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed. 1024 00:52:21,780 --> 00:52:24,150 Well, she's not mad at you. 1025 00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,980 - Hold on. - Are you OK? 1026 00:52:34,260 --> 00:52:36,320 - Hello? - If someone said something bad 1027 00:52:36,530 --> 00:52:38,322 about you, you'd want me to tell you, right? 1028 00:52:39,530 --> 00:52:40,860 - No. - What if it was someone 1029 00:52:41,070 --> 00:52:42,500 you thought was your friend? 1030 00:52:42,700 --> 00:52:44,690 What are you...? Hold on. Other line. 1031 00:52:44,900 --> 00:52:47,029 - I'm not taking this anymore. - Good for you, Gretch. 1032 00:52:47,110 --> 00:52:48,540 - Hello? - Let's go out. 1033 00:52:48,740 --> 00:52:50,830 OK. Hold on. I'm on the other line with Gretchen. 1034 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,410 Don't invite Gretchen. She's driving me nuts. 1035 00:52:53,610 --> 00:52:55,240 - Hold on. - OK, hurry up. 1036 00:52:56,350 --> 00:52:57,580 It's Regina. 1037 00:52:57,780 --> 00:53:00,669 She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you. 1038 00:53:00,750 --> 00:53:02,380 Do not hang out with her. 1039 00:53:02,590 --> 00:53:05,180 - Why? - You don't want me to tell you. 1040 00:53:05,390 --> 00:53:06,920 You can tell me. Hold on. 1041 00:53:08,590 --> 00:53:10,990 Oh, my God, she's so annoying. 1042 00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,430 Who is? 1043 00:53:12,630 --> 00:53:14,660 - Who's this? - Gretchen. 1044 00:53:14,870 --> 00:53:16,930 Right. Hold on. 1045 00:53:18,370 --> 00:53:22,810 - Oh, my God, she's so annoying. - I know. Just get rid of her. 1046 00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:25,910 OK. What is it? 1047 00:53:26,110 --> 00:53:29,010 Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut. 1048 00:53:29,780 --> 00:53:31,340 She said that? 1049 00:53:31,550 --> 00:53:33,310 You didn't hear it from me. 1050 00:53:34,350 --> 00:53:37,080 - Little harsh, Gretch. - Whatever. She has a right to know. 1051 00:53:37,290 --> 00:53:39,090 I can't go out. 1052 00:53:39,930 --> 00:53:41,330 I'm sick. 1053 00:53:41,530 --> 00:53:43,520 Boo. You whore. 1054 00:53:49,170 --> 00:53:50,930 Regina, 1055 00:53:51,140 --> 00:53:52,430 we have to talk to you. 1056 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,330 Is butter a carb? 1057 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,140 Yes. 1058 00:53:56,340 --> 00:53:59,000 Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. 1059 00:53:59,210 --> 00:54:00,440 It's Monday. 1060 00:54:01,180 --> 00:54:03,240 - So? - So that's against the rules 1061 00:54:03,450 --> 00:54:04,940 and you can't sit with us. 1062 00:54:05,420 --> 00:54:07,720 Whatever. Those rules aren't real. 1063 00:54:08,690 --> 00:54:10,450 They were real that day I wore a vest. 1064 00:54:10,660 --> 00:54:13,650 - Because that vest was disgusting. - You can't sit with us! 1065 00:54:20,570 --> 00:54:23,330 These sweatpants are all that fits me right now. 1066 00:54:29,980 --> 00:54:31,270 Fine. 1067 00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,470 You can walk home, bitches. 1068 00:54:34,650 --> 00:54:37,280 Watch where you're going, fat-ass! 1069 00:54:44,860 --> 00:54:47,420 Gretchen and Karen followed me around all afternoon. 1070 00:54:47,630 --> 00:54:49,979 - So, what are we doing this weekend? - Yeah, what are we doing? 1071 00:54:50,060 --> 00:54:51,852 Oh, I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1072 00:54:52,300 --> 00:54:53,890 What...? 1073 00:54:54,100 --> 00:54:55,690 We have tickets for this thing. 1074 00:54:55,900 --> 00:54:57,890 - What? - What? 1075 00:54:58,100 --> 00:55:00,400 Was I the new queen bee? 1076 00:55:01,670 --> 00:55:03,040 I can try and get out of it. 1077 00:55:03,380 --> 00:55:04,600 - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 1078 00:55:04,810 --> 00:55:07,680 Because I told my friend Janis I'd go to her art show. 1079 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:09,870 We've had these tickets for months. 1080 00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,070 You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo. 1081 00:55:12,290 --> 00:55:14,750 But she's my friend, and I made her a promise. 1082 00:55:15,190 --> 00:55:17,920 I think Cady's old enough to spend one night on her own. 1083 00:55:21,430 --> 00:55:24,560 I had learned how to control everyone around me. 1084 00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,360 Hey. I'm having a small get-together at my house tomorrow night. 1085 00:55:28,970 --> 00:55:31,560 - Is Regina going? - No. Do you think I'm an idiot? 1086 00:55:31,770 --> 00:55:33,389 No, it's just gonna be a few cool people, 1087 00:55:33,470 --> 00:55:35,012 and you better be one of them, byotch. 1088 00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:37,540 - Fine, I'll go. - Shut up. 1089 00:55:37,740 --> 00:55:39,730 I love that shirt on you. 1090 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,410 Aaron Samuels was going to be in my house at my party. 1091 00:55:48,620 --> 00:55:50,450 Everything had to be perfect. 1092 00:55:55,130 --> 00:55:56,620 And this time when Aaron saw me, 1093 00:55:56,830 --> 00:55:59,390 I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume. 1094 00:56:00,070 --> 00:56:01,290 Hey, guys. 1095 00:56:02,700 --> 00:56:04,430 - You look awesome! - You look awesome! 1096 00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,070 I know, right? 1097 00:56:06,270 --> 00:56:08,489 OK, so I got enough cheese and crackers for eight people. 1098 00:56:08,570 --> 00:56:10,300 Do you think that's enough? 1099 00:56:10,510 --> 00:56:12,340 - Yeah. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 1100 00:56:12,550 --> 00:56:14,140 OK. 1101 00:56:17,950 --> 00:56:19,180 It was not enough. 1102 00:56:19,390 --> 00:56:21,950 Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get-together. 1103 00:56:22,150 --> 00:56:24,180 Jason is here with Taylor Wedell. 1104 00:56:24,390 --> 00:56:26,190 He's just using her to make you mad. 1105 00:56:26,390 --> 00:56:28,950 - Have you guys seen Aaron yet? - No. 1106 00:56:30,700 --> 00:56:33,490 Dude, put on "The Ramayana Monkey Chant". 1107 00:56:42,410 --> 00:56:45,400 - Do I know you? - Deek! What up, dog? 1108 00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,310 She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? 1109 00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:56,509 - Who does she think she is? - You're right, hon. 1110 00:56:56,590 --> 00:56:59,080 I, like, invented her, you know what I mean? 1111 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,170 Jason. 1112 00:57:09,370 --> 00:57:10,860 I have to talk to you. 1113 00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:13,510 Whatever. 1114 00:57:14,510 --> 00:57:16,600 - I love you. - I know, I know. 1115 00:57:19,410 --> 00:57:22,180 Hey! Put that down! 1116 00:57:28,090 --> 00:57:30,110 Was Aaron blowing me off? 1117 00:57:37,330 --> 00:57:39,820 What's up? Gretchen came to talk to me. 1118 00:57:40,030 --> 00:57:41,730 - Oh, no. - Look, 1119 00:57:41,930 --> 00:57:45,370 I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color. 1120 00:57:46,510 --> 00:57:47,900 I have to pee. 1121 00:58:00,890 --> 00:58:02,440 Get out. 1122 00:58:47,070 --> 00:58:48,290 - Hey. - Hey. 1123 00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,959 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1124 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:51,330 Me too. 1125 00:58:53,470 --> 00:58:55,410 You look... 1126 00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,340 - New clothes? - Thanks. 1127 00:58:59,650 --> 00:59:00,980 You wanna go downstairs? 1128 00:59:01,180 --> 00:59:03,510 No, no. Let's stay here. 1129 00:59:06,650 --> 00:59:08,309 Thanks for getting me to come out tonight. 1130 00:59:08,390 --> 00:59:09,620 Yeah, sure, no problem. 1131 00:59:09,820 --> 00:59:12,790 I wasted too much time being pissed off at Regina. 1132 00:59:12,990 --> 00:59:14,480 No more liars. 1133 00:59:14,690 --> 00:59:16,520 I would never lie to you. 1134 00:59:16,730 --> 00:59:18,490 I know, I know. 1135 00:59:18,700 --> 00:59:20,100 Although... 1136 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:22,630 OK, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once, 1137 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,007 but you're totally gonna laugh when I tell you, so... 1138 00:59:25,170 --> 00:59:26,800 Tell me what? 1139 00:59:28,170 --> 00:59:30,970 I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. 1140 00:59:31,180 --> 00:59:34,240 But the thing is, I'm not really bad at math. 1141 00:59:34,450 --> 00:59:37,380 I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math. 1142 00:59:37,950 --> 00:59:40,110 Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny? 1143 00:59:40,590 --> 00:59:42,950 Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid. 1144 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,820 No. Not on purpose. Just, you know... 1145 00:59:46,030 --> 00:59:47,614 I just wanted a reason to talk to you. 1146 00:59:47,790 --> 00:59:49,420 So why didn't you just talk to me? 1147 00:59:49,630 --> 00:59:51,560 Well, because I couldn't. Because of Regina. 1148 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,320 Because you were her property... 1149 00:59:53,530 --> 00:59:55,660 - Her property? - No. Shut up. Not her property... 1150 00:59:55,870 --> 00:59:57,360 No, don't tell me to shut up. 1151 00:59:57,570 --> 00:59:59,230 - I wasn't... - God, you know what? 1152 00:59:59,670 --> 01:00:02,300 You are just like a clone of Regina. 1153 01:00:02,510 --> 01:00:05,170 Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me... 1154 01:00:05,380 --> 01:00:09,710 Oh, no. It was coming up again. Word vomit. No, wait a minute... 1155 01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:12,710 - What is this?! - Actual vomit. 1156 01:00:16,090 --> 01:00:17,450 Aaron! 1157 01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,820 Aaron, wait! Just... 1158 01:00:21,260 --> 01:00:23,820 OK. Call me. 1159 01:00:28,530 --> 01:00:31,630 - Oh, God. - You dirty little liar. 1160 01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,670 I'm sorry. I can explain. 1161 01:00:33,870 --> 01:00:36,100 Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? 1162 01:00:36,310 --> 01:00:37,759 Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. 1163 01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,740 You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic. 1164 01:00:40,950 --> 01:00:42,970 Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. 1165 01:00:43,180 --> 01:00:46,150 You're Plastic. Cold, shiny, hard Plastic. 1166 01:00:46,550 --> 01:00:48,280 Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10. 1167 01:00:48,490 --> 01:00:50,180 Did you have an awesome time? 1168 01:00:50,390 --> 01:00:53,520 Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, 1169 01:00:53,730 --> 01:00:56,520 and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness? 1170 01:00:56,730 --> 01:00:58,179 You're the one who made me like this 1171 01:00:58,260 --> 01:01:00,600 so you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge. 1172 01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,630 God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. 1173 01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:08,240 You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa 1174 01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:10,559 with all the little birdies and the little monkeys." 1175 01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,474 You know what? It's not my fault you're in love with me or something! 1176 01:01:13,650 --> 01:01:15,240 - What?! - Oh, no she did not! 1177 01:01:15,450 --> 01:01:17,610 See? That is the thing with you Plastics. 1178 01:01:17,820 --> 01:01:20,280 You think that everybody is in love with you, 1179 01:01:20,490 --> 01:01:22,610 when actually, everybody hates you. 1180 01:01:22,820 --> 01:01:24,580 Like Aaron Samuels, for example. 1181 01:01:24,790 --> 01:01:26,620 He broke up with Regina and guess what. 1182 01:01:26,830 --> 01:01:28,420 He still doesn't want you. 1183 01:01:28,630 --> 01:01:31,790 So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why. 1184 01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:35,560 Because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! 1185 01:01:36,470 --> 01:01:39,670 Here. You can have this. It won a prize. 1186 01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,340 And I want my pink shirt back! 1187 01:01:44,540 --> 01:01:47,240 I want my pink shirt back! 1188 01:02:01,290 --> 01:02:02,730 Hon, slow down. 1189 01:02:02,930 --> 01:02:05,490 It's like I can't trust anyone anymore. 1190 01:02:06,630 --> 01:02:08,100 Why are you eating a Kälteen bar? 1191 01:02:08,300 --> 01:02:10,700 - I'm starving. - Man, I hate those things. 1192 01:02:10,900 --> 01:02:14,340 Coach Carr makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class. 1193 01:02:15,910 --> 01:02:17,170 What? 1194 01:02:17,980 --> 01:02:20,380 They make you gain weight like crazy. 1195 01:02:21,580 --> 01:02:23,380 Mother... 1196 01:02:48,510 --> 01:02:54,840 This girl is the nastiest skank bitch 1197 01:02:55,050 --> 01:02:59,310 I've ever met. 1198 01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:07,520 Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut! 1199 01:03:28,150 --> 01:03:33,480 I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Mr. Duvall. 1200 01:03:33,690 --> 01:03:34,980 Is this true? 1201 01:03:35,190 --> 01:03:37,350 Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr? 1202 01:03:38,890 --> 01:03:41,420 Good Lord. 1203 01:03:41,630 --> 01:03:44,120 What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."? 1204 01:03:44,330 --> 01:03:45,990 Fat whore. 1205 01:03:49,100 --> 01:03:51,190 OK, calm down, Miss George. 1206 01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:55,360 Why would someone write that? That's just so mean. 1207 01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:58,170 Don't worry, we're gonna find out who did it. 1208 01:03:58,380 --> 01:04:00,940 There's only three girls in the whole school who aren't in it. 1209 01:04:01,950 --> 01:04:04,470 At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges. 1210 01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:07,880 You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other. 1211 01:04:08,250 --> 01:04:12,620 But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia. And die. 1212 01:04:12,830 --> 01:04:14,220 Coach Carr. 1213 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,060 Cady Heron, they wanna see you in the principal's office. 1214 01:04:22,630 --> 01:04:26,760 All right, chlamydia. K-L-A... 1215 01:04:29,540 --> 01:04:31,510 In here, Miss Heron. 1216 01:04:39,890 --> 01:04:42,980 - What's going on? - Have a seat, Miss Heron. 1217 01:04:46,930 --> 01:04:48,950 - Have you ever seen this before? - No. 1218 01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:51,830 I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine. 1219 01:04:52,030 --> 01:04:53,849 You better get your story straight, Miss Heron, 1220 01:04:53,930 --> 01:04:55,700 because I'm not messing around here. 1221 01:04:55,900 --> 01:04:57,600 It's not ours, it's Regina's. 1222 01:04:57,840 --> 01:05:01,530 Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it. 1223 01:05:01,740 --> 01:05:07,980 Miss Wieners, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"? 1224 01:05:10,580 --> 01:05:13,280 Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing. 1225 01:05:13,490 --> 01:05:15,680 We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now. 1226 01:05:34,140 --> 01:05:37,600 Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us. 1227 01:05:37,810 --> 01:05:40,070 And I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked. 1228 01:05:40,610 --> 01:05:44,340 And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, 1229 01:05:44,550 --> 01:05:46,520 would be too pleased to hear about this. 1230 01:05:55,630 --> 01:05:57,750 "Made out with a hot dog"? 1231 01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:00,900 Oh, my God, that was one time! 1232 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:07,430 "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that? 1233 01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:09,370 Who wouldn't write that? 1234 01:06:10,740 --> 01:06:12,840 "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"? 1235 01:06:13,050 --> 01:06:14,600 And so did Sun Jin Dinh. 1236 01:06:22,490 --> 01:06:25,460 Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey. 1237 01:06:25,660 --> 01:06:28,560 No. You do not push and sh... 1238 01:06:42,270 --> 01:06:44,070 Do you have anything else you wanna say? 1239 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:45,729 No, I can't answer any more questions 1240 01:06:45,810 --> 01:06:47,470 until I have a parent or lawyer present. 1241 01:06:48,710 --> 01:06:49,940 Miss Smith? 1242 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:54,610 Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it? 1243 01:06:54,820 --> 01:06:57,250 I hope that nobody else ever does see it. 1244 01:07:08,770 --> 01:07:11,260 Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared. 1245 01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:14,770 - "Janis Ian, dyke"? - That's original. 1246 01:07:14,970 --> 01:07:16,740 - "Too gay to function"?! - Hey! 1247 01:07:16,940 --> 01:07:19,000 That's only OK when I say it. 1248 01:07:19,210 --> 01:07:22,080 - Did you write this? - No, I swear! 1249 01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,940 - Then you told somebody! - She told! 1250 01:07:25,220 --> 01:07:28,240 - You little bitch! - You're a bitch! 1251 01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:32,290 Yeah! Take your top off! 1252 01:07:34,290 --> 01:07:36,540 - Now, here's what we're gonna do... - Ron, come quick! 1253 01:07:36,660 --> 01:07:40,000 They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild. 1254 01:07:49,170 --> 01:07:51,340 It was full-tilt jungle madness. 1255 01:07:54,810 --> 01:07:56,780 And it wasn't going away. 1256 01:08:03,220 --> 01:08:05,850 Hey, I pulled these two off each other. 1257 01:08:06,060 --> 01:08:08,860 Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls. 1258 01:08:13,830 --> 01:08:15,300 Let me help you down there. 1259 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,560 Hell, no! I did not leave the Southside for this! 1260 01:08:23,410 --> 01:08:25,540 Oh, crap! My hair! 1261 01:08:25,740 --> 01:08:31,270 All junior girls report to the gymnasium immediately! Immediately! 1262 01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:37,850 Have you ever walked up to people 1263 01:08:38,060 --> 01:08:40,350 and realized they were just talking about you? 1264 01:08:42,460 --> 01:08:45,620 Have you ever had it happen 60 times in a row? 1265 01:08:46,030 --> 01:08:47,620 I have. 1266 01:09:06,650 --> 01:09:11,090 Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. 1267 01:09:11,420 --> 01:09:13,290 And from young ladies. 1268 01:09:13,830 --> 01:09:17,760 I got parents calling me on the phone asking, "Did someone get shot?" 1269 01:09:18,060 --> 01:09:20,000 I ought to cancel your Spring Fling. 1270 01:09:20,200 --> 01:09:21,430 No! 1271 01:09:21,700 --> 01:09:23,117 - No. - What are we supposed to do? 1272 01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,300 Now, I'm not gonna do that, because we've already paid the DJ. 1273 01:09:26,570 --> 01:09:29,770 But don't think that I'm not taking this book seriously. 1274 01:09:30,180 --> 01:09:33,080 Coach Carr has fled school property. 1275 01:09:33,710 --> 01:09:36,080 Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. 1276 01:09:37,480 --> 01:09:39,780 Now, what the young ladies in this grade need 1277 01:09:39,990 --> 01:09:42,010 is an attitude makeover. 1278 01:09:42,420 --> 01:09:44,790 And you're gonna get it right now. 1279 01:09:44,990 --> 01:09:48,860 I don't care how long it takes, I will keep you here all night. 1280 01:09:49,060 --> 01:09:50,460 We can't keep them past 4. 1281 01:09:50,660 --> 01:09:52,890 I will keep you here until 4. 1282 01:09:54,770 --> 01:09:57,354 Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you young ladies 1283 01:09:57,440 --> 01:09:58,930 relate to each other. 1284 01:09:59,140 --> 01:10:01,700 OK? Lady to lady. 1285 01:10:01,910 --> 01:10:04,900 So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about? 1286 01:10:08,710 --> 01:10:10,080 Yes? 1287 01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,510 Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin 1288 01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:15,740 because I use super-jumbo tampons. 1289 01:10:15,950 --> 01:10:19,820 But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. 1290 01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:23,560 Yeah, I can't do this. 1291 01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,190 Ms. Norbury. 1292 01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:29,160 You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman. 1293 01:10:29,470 --> 01:10:30,700 I am? 1294 01:10:30,900 --> 01:10:33,259 There has to be something you can say to these young ladies. 1295 01:10:33,340 --> 01:10:35,270 Something to help them with their self-esteem? 1296 01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:36,932 It's not a self-esteem problem. 1297 01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:39,600 I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves. 1298 01:10:41,810 --> 01:10:43,040 OK. 1299 01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:48,310 OK. Everybody close your eyes. 1300 01:10:49,690 --> 01:10:52,250 I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl 1301 01:10:52,460 --> 01:10:55,590 say something bad about you behind your back. 1302 01:10:57,630 --> 01:10:59,490 Open your eyes. 1303 01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:02,720 Now, close your eyes again. 1304 01:11:02,930 --> 01:11:05,730 And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever 1305 01:11:05,940 --> 01:11:08,500 said anything about a friend behind her back. 1306 01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:16,180 Open them. 1307 01:11:20,550 --> 01:11:23,250 There's been some girl-on-girl crime here. 1308 01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:28,050 OK. So, what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you 1309 01:11:28,260 --> 01:11:31,160 express your anger in a healthy way. 1310 01:11:32,100 --> 01:11:33,390 Let's start over here. 1311 01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:35,517 Ms. Norbury had us confront each other directly 1312 01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:37,189 about the things that were bothering us. 1313 01:11:37,270 --> 01:11:39,419 And it seemed like every clique had its own problems. 1314 01:11:39,500 --> 01:11:42,529 You've been acting really stuck-up ever since you switched to shortfielder. 1315 01:11:42,610 --> 01:11:44,370 And Dawn agrees with me. 1316 01:11:44,580 --> 01:11:46,200 - Dawn? - Don't drag me into this, 1317 01:11:46,410 --> 01:11:47,710 I'm pitching tomorrow. 1318 01:11:55,590 --> 01:11:57,580 OK. Good. 1319 01:11:58,520 --> 01:12:01,460 Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? 1320 01:12:01,660 --> 01:12:04,519 And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, because some of us 1321 01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,690 are just victims in this situation. 1322 01:12:06,900 --> 01:12:09,030 That's probably true. How many of you 1323 01:12:09,230 --> 01:12:13,030 have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George? 1324 01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:25,410 Good. OK, who's next? 1325 01:12:25,620 --> 01:12:27,140 Who's next? 1326 01:12:29,420 --> 01:12:30,750 Cady. 1327 01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:32,650 Do you have anything you wanna own up to? 1328 01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:35,090 Yes. No. 1329 01:12:35,690 --> 01:12:38,160 You never made up a rumor about anybody? 1330 01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:39,790 Just that you sell drugs. 1331 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,230 No. 1332 01:12:41,630 --> 01:12:43,900 Nothing you want to apologize for? 1333 01:12:44,340 --> 01:12:45,799 I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury 1334 01:12:45,940 --> 01:12:47,960 without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. 1335 01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:49,670 No. 1336 01:12:50,910 --> 01:12:53,170 I'm really disappointed in you, Cady. 1337 01:12:55,550 --> 01:12:58,570 OK, so we're all here because of this book, right? 1338 01:12:58,850 --> 01:13:01,610 Well, I don't know who wrote this book, 1339 01:13:01,820 --> 01:13:05,590 but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. 1340 01:13:05,790 --> 01:13:08,760 It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores. 1341 01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:10,520 Who here has ever been called a slut? 1342 01:13:15,700 --> 01:13:17,290 OK, everybody up. 1343 01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:19,042 Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies 1344 01:13:19,240 --> 01:13:21,400 to people that we'd hurt in our lives. 1345 01:13:21,670 --> 01:13:25,270 "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch." 1346 01:13:25,480 --> 01:13:28,000 "It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." 1347 01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:33,920 "Gretchen, 1348 01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:36,550 "I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea" 1349 01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:38,380 "at Barnes and Noble." 1350 01:13:38,590 --> 01:13:40,490 "And I'm sorry I told everyone about it." 1351 01:13:40,990 --> 01:13:43,480 And I'm sorry for repeating it now. 1352 01:13:48,230 --> 01:13:50,260 Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat. 1353 01:13:50,470 --> 01:13:52,800 You're fat because I hate you. 1354 01:13:56,440 --> 01:14:00,470 I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. 1355 01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:04,620 I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, 1356 01:14:04,820 --> 01:14:06,720 and we'd all eat it and be happy. 1357 01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:08,550 She doesn't even go here! 1358 01:14:10,460 --> 01:14:12,510 Do you even go to this school? 1359 01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:16,390 No. I just have a lot of feelings. 1360 01:14:16,700 --> 01:14:18,160 OK, go home. 1361 01:14:22,130 --> 01:14:23,797 Sharon, I think you're doing a great job. 1362 01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,667 Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through. 1363 01:14:25,770 --> 01:14:28,170 I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. 1364 01:14:28,910 --> 01:14:31,470 But I can't help it that I'm popular. 1365 01:14:36,410 --> 01:14:39,540 Oh, my God! Oh, jeez. OK, walk it off. Walk it off. 1366 01:14:39,750 --> 01:14:41,910 OK. That hurt. 1367 01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:44,050 They're OK. 1368 01:14:44,590 --> 01:14:46,280 They're OK. 1369 01:14:47,090 --> 01:14:52,090 Oh, boy. OK, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going. 1370 01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:59,740 Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls. 1371 01:15:01,070 --> 01:15:04,240 OK, yeah, I've got an apology. 1372 01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:10,880 So I have this friend who is a new student this year. 1373 01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:15,140 And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. 1374 01:15:15,350 --> 01:15:17,840 So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, 1375 01:15:18,060 --> 01:15:19,709 and then she would come to my house after 1376 01:15:19,790 --> 01:15:22,490 and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. 1377 01:15:22,690 --> 01:15:24,232 And we gave her these candy bar things 1378 01:15:24,430 --> 01:15:26,060 that would make her gain weight, 1379 01:15:26,260 --> 01:15:28,460 and we turned her best friends against her. 1380 01:15:28,930 --> 01:15:31,900 And then... Oh, yeah, Cady... You know my friend Cady. 1381 01:15:32,100 --> 01:15:33,900 She made out with Regina's boyfriend 1382 01:15:34,110 --> 01:15:36,200 and then convinced him to break up with her. 1383 01:15:36,410 --> 01:15:39,040 Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash. 1384 01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:41,870 God! I am so sorry, Regina. 1385 01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:44,010 Really, I don't know why I did it. 1386 01:15:44,220 --> 01:15:49,450 I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you. 1387 01:15:49,650 --> 01:15:51,350 Suck on that! 1388 01:15:52,460 --> 01:15:56,330 Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis! 1389 01:16:03,130 --> 01:16:04,360 Regina! 1390 01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:07,770 Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen. 1391 01:16:07,970 --> 01:16:09,970 To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care. 1392 01:16:10,180 --> 01:16:12,170 Regina, please! Regina, stop! 1393 01:16:12,380 --> 01:16:15,040 No! Do you know what everyone says about you? 1394 01:16:15,250 --> 01:16:17,292 They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak, 1395 01:16:17,380 --> 01:16:19,210 who's a less-hot version of me. 1396 01:16:19,420 --> 01:16:22,180 Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent. 1397 01:16:22,390 --> 01:16:25,650 You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy... 1398 01:16:29,390 --> 01:16:31,990 And that's how Regina George died. 1399 01:16:32,200 --> 01:16:35,260 No, I'm totally kidding. But she did get hurt. 1400 01:16:35,470 --> 01:16:37,730 Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. 1401 01:16:37,940 --> 01:16:40,730 But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me 1402 01:16:40,940 --> 01:16:43,357 push her in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor. 1403 01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:48,730 - Everybody done? - No. Mom, I didn't do it. 1404 01:16:48,940 --> 01:16:50,710 I don't know what to believe anymore. 1405 01:16:50,910 --> 01:16:53,010 Mom, believe me. I'm your daughter. 1406 01:16:56,150 --> 01:16:58,880 Why are my tribal vases under the sink? 1407 01:16:59,090 --> 01:17:02,180 My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink? 1408 01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,090 I don't know. 1409 01:17:04,390 --> 01:17:06,690 This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. 1410 01:17:06,900 --> 01:17:09,920 - Does that mean anything to you? - No. 1411 01:17:10,770 --> 01:17:12,560 Who are you? 1412 01:17:17,170 --> 01:17:20,900 Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me. 1413 01:17:21,110 --> 01:17:23,010 Your mom does not hate you. 1414 01:17:23,210 --> 01:17:25,870 She's afraid of you. 1415 01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:30,910 I don't know, maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. 1416 01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:34,990 Maybe you should come back and be home-schooled again for a while. 1417 01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:39,380 No. Only thing worse than going back will be not going back. 1418 01:17:40,330 --> 01:17:42,350 How bad's it gonna be tomorrow? 1419 01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:45,660 Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? 1420 01:17:46,570 --> 01:17:47,800 I'll be the wart hog. 1421 01:17:48,300 --> 01:17:49,770 You're not a wart hog, 1422 01:17:49,970 --> 01:17:51,730 you're a lion. 1423 01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:54,670 Just focus on your studies for a little while. 1424 01:17:55,010 --> 01:17:57,340 You're still an excellent student, right? 1425 01:17:57,550 --> 01:18:00,980 Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test. 1426 01:18:01,350 --> 01:18:03,540 - Why? - I'm failing. 1427 01:18:06,850 --> 01:18:09,620 OK. You are... 1428 01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:12,430 What do they call it? 1429 01:18:12,690 --> 01:18:13,960 Grounded. 1430 01:18:14,430 --> 01:18:16,020 You're grounded. 1431 01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:46,280 She pushed her in front of the bus. 1432 01:18:47,030 --> 01:18:48,620 Did you see her do it? 1433 01:18:48,830 --> 01:18:50,160 Yes. 1434 01:19:04,650 --> 01:19:08,610 Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or Ecstasy tablets? 1435 01:19:08,820 --> 01:19:11,250 - No. - What are marijuana tablets? 1436 01:19:11,450 --> 01:19:13,350 What's going on? Where's Ms. Norbury? 1437 01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:17,780 Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous. Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs. 1438 01:19:17,990 --> 01:19:21,190 I know, Aaron. But after the allegations against Coach Carr 1439 01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:23,660 turned out to be extremely true, 1440 01:19:23,870 --> 01:19:27,100 the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made 1441 01:19:27,300 --> 01:19:28,530 in this Burn Book. 1442 01:19:28,740 --> 01:19:30,970 That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls 1443 01:19:31,170 --> 01:19:33,040 who make up rumors because they're bored 1444 01:19:33,240 --> 01:19:35,000 with their own lame lives. 1445 01:19:35,210 --> 01:19:38,099 Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up", 1446 01:19:38,180 --> 01:19:40,770 this is how we have to handle it. To say that someone... 1447 01:19:40,980 --> 01:19:45,650 Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever. 1448 01:19:46,890 --> 01:19:48,580 Mr. Duvall. 1449 01:19:48,790 --> 01:19:50,020 I wrote it. 1450 01:19:52,930 --> 01:19:54,160 Come on, Cady. 1451 01:20:01,440 --> 01:20:02,930 When you get bit by a snake, 1452 01:20:03,140 --> 01:20:05,000 you're supposed to suck the poison out. 1453 01:20:05,210 --> 01:20:09,010 That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life. 1454 01:20:09,710 --> 01:20:11,270 I started with Regina, 1455 01:20:11,480 --> 01:20:13,869 who was living proof that the more people are scared of you, 1456 01:20:13,950 --> 01:20:15,250 the more flowers you get. 1457 01:20:16,450 --> 01:20:17,680 Then there was Ms. Norbury, 1458 01:20:17,890 --> 01:20:21,450 who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished. 1459 01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:24,610 Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? 1460 01:20:24,830 --> 01:20:28,790 - I'm just done with my quiz. - Wait. I'll grade it right now. 1461 01:20:33,330 --> 01:20:35,560 I gotta say, watching the police search my house 1462 01:20:35,770 --> 01:20:39,260 really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year. 1463 01:20:40,540 --> 01:20:43,030 How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth? 1464 01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:44,540 A lot. 1465 01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:46,529 You didn't write that whole book yourself. 1466 01:20:46,610 --> 01:20:48,277 Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it? 1467 01:20:49,020 --> 01:20:50,439 No, because I'm trying this new thing 1468 01:20:50,520 --> 01:20:52,710 where I don't talk about people behind their backs. 1469 01:20:53,050 --> 01:20:56,150 That's all right. Getting hit by a bus is pretty good punishment. 1470 01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:57,620 Ninety-four. 1471 01:20:57,830 --> 01:20:59,550 Welcome back, nerd. 1472 01:21:00,060 --> 01:21:01,320 Thanks. 1473 01:21:02,430 --> 01:21:03,830 Anyway... 1474 01:21:04,830 --> 01:21:06,300 ...I'm sorry. 1475 01:21:06,500 --> 01:21:07,830 I forgive you. 1476 01:21:08,140 --> 01:21:10,470 But as my own personal form of punishment, 1477 01:21:10,670 --> 01:21:13,070 I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit. 1478 01:21:14,580 --> 01:21:16,010 What's up? 1479 01:22:14,540 --> 01:22:17,500 Excellent. Great turnout this year. 1480 01:22:24,850 --> 01:22:26,750 - All right. It's all you. - OK. 1481 01:22:26,950 --> 01:22:28,710 - Make me look good out there. - OK. 1482 01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:32,220 Marymount, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches. 1483 01:22:33,090 --> 01:22:34,650 - You nervous? - Yes. 1484 01:22:34,860 --> 01:22:38,220 Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, 1485 01:22:38,430 --> 01:22:41,020 because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. 1486 01:22:42,900 --> 01:22:44,349 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1487 01:22:44,430 --> 01:22:47,097 Welcome to the Illinois High School Mathletes State Championship. 1488 01:22:47,270 --> 01:22:50,200 Let's start the competition. Here is the first question. 1489 01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:53,770 Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times 1490 01:22:53,980 --> 01:22:55,980 the smaller, and the sum of four times the larger 1491 01:22:56,080 --> 01:22:59,310 and three times the smaller is 71. What are...? 1492 01:22:59,510 --> 01:23:01,610 - North Shore? - Fourteen and five. 1493 01:23:01,820 --> 01:23:03,370 That is correct. Question number two. 1494 01:23:03,580 --> 01:23:06,680 Find an odd three-digit number whose digits add up to 12. 1495 01:23:06,890 --> 01:23:10,057 The digits are all different, and the difference between the first two digits 1496 01:23:10,160 --> 01:23:11,494 equals the difference between... 1497 01:23:11,690 --> 01:23:13,520 - Marymount? - 741. 1498 01:23:13,730 --> 01:23:17,060 - Correct. - Shoot. I was really rusty. 1499 01:23:17,970 --> 01:23:20,590 - Where's Cady? - She went out. 1500 01:23:20,970 --> 01:23:22,200 She's grounded. 1501 01:23:22,870 --> 01:23:25,030 Are they not allowed out when they're grounded? 1502 01:23:32,080 --> 01:23:35,240 Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people. 1503 01:23:35,450 --> 01:23:38,280 These A-holes will represent you for a full calendar year. 1504 01:23:38,490 --> 01:23:41,750 I'm gonna vote for Regina George because she got hit by that bus. 1505 01:23:41,960 --> 01:23:45,050 I'm voting for Cady Heron because she pushed her. 1506 01:23:53,270 --> 01:23:56,630 She's supposed to be grounded, but he let her out. 1507 01:23:56,900 --> 01:24:00,670 After 87 minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie. 1508 01:24:00,880 --> 01:24:04,110 In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden-death round. 1509 01:24:04,310 --> 01:24:07,840 Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. 1510 01:24:08,250 --> 01:24:12,020 - North Shore, who do you select? - The girl, dude. The girl. 1511 01:24:12,220 --> 01:24:13,650 Contestant Krafft. 1512 01:24:13,890 --> 01:24:17,090 From Marymount, Miss Caroline Krafft. 1513 01:24:19,890 --> 01:24:21,760 We pick the girl too. 1514 01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:24,290 And from North Shore, Miss Cady Heron. 1515 01:24:24,500 --> 01:24:26,230 It's Cady. 1516 01:24:26,670 --> 01:24:28,160 Oh, my God, that's me. 1517 01:24:36,410 --> 01:24:39,570 Miss Caroline Krafft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. 1518 01:24:39,780 --> 01:24:44,110 Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher. 1519 01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:47,190 And she had some 99-cent lip gloss on her snaggletooth. 1520 01:24:47,660 --> 01:24:50,560 And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft 1521 01:24:50,760 --> 01:24:53,320 wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest. 1522 01:24:53,530 --> 01:24:56,990 Contestants, find the limit of this equation. 1523 01:24:57,800 --> 01:25:00,230 Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. 1524 01:25:00,430 --> 01:25:02,770 Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. 1525 01:25:02,970 --> 01:25:06,430 And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. 1526 01:25:06,640 --> 01:25:10,080 All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. 1527 01:25:11,050 --> 01:25:13,910 - The limit is negative one. - Oh, crap. I lost. 1528 01:25:14,120 --> 01:25:15,740 That answer is incorrect. 1529 01:25:16,550 --> 01:25:19,520 Now, we are in a sudden death. If Miss Heron can answer 1530 01:25:19,720 --> 01:25:22,750 this problem correctly, we have a winner. 1531 01:25:22,960 --> 01:25:25,690 Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits? 1532 01:25:25,890 --> 01:25:28,380 Limits. That was the week Aaron got his hair cut. 1533 01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:31,000 Oh, God, he looked so cute. OK, focus, Cady. 1534 01:25:31,200 --> 01:25:33,530 What was on the board behind Aaron's head? 1535 01:25:34,400 --> 01:25:36,960 If the limit never approaches anything... 1536 01:25:37,170 --> 01:25:39,200 The limit does not exist. 1537 01:25:39,410 --> 01:25:40,740 The limit does not exist! 1538 01:25:41,040 --> 01:25:42,910 Our new state champions, 1539 01:25:43,110 --> 01:25:45,200 - the North Shore Mathletes. - Yeah! 1540 01:25:54,990 --> 01:25:56,420 How do you like me now? 1541 01:25:56,820 --> 01:26:00,420 You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some! 1542 01:26:00,830 --> 01:26:03,020 Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves. 1543 01:26:03,230 --> 01:26:05,320 - Africa, you did the damn thing. - Thanks. 1544 01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:08,170 Thanks, K.G. 1545 01:26:08,370 --> 01:26:11,600 We're gonna look so kick-ass in these when we roll into Spring Fling. 1546 01:26:11,810 --> 01:26:13,470 - Oh, no, I'm not going. - What? 1547 01:26:13,670 --> 01:26:15,499 Cady, this is your night. Don't let the haters 1548 01:26:15,580 --> 01:26:16,910 stop you from doing your thang. 1549 01:26:17,450 --> 01:26:18,940 Did you just say "thang"? 1550 01:26:19,150 --> 01:26:21,109 Cady, you don't have to punish yourself forever. 1551 01:26:21,280 --> 01:26:23,010 But I'm grounded. 1552 01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:24,910 You're already out. 1553 01:26:35,830 --> 01:26:37,860 All right, do we have all of our nominees 1554 01:26:38,070 --> 01:26:39,900 for king and queen on the stage? 1555 01:26:40,430 --> 01:26:44,840 OK, good. I just wanted to say that you're all winners. 1556 01:26:45,170 --> 01:26:48,940 And I could not be happier that this school year's ending. 1557 01:26:49,680 --> 01:26:55,840 Here we go. The winner of the Spring Fling King, 1558 01:26:56,180 --> 01:26:59,050 - Shane Oman. - Yes! 1559 01:26:59,420 --> 01:27:01,320 That's what I'm talking about! 1560 01:27:04,130 --> 01:27:06,250 And your Spring Fling Queen, 1561 01:27:06,730 --> 01:27:08,920 future co-chair of the Student Activities Board 1562 01:27:09,130 --> 01:27:12,100 and winner of two gift certificates 1563 01:27:12,300 --> 01:27:14,290 to the Walker Brothers Pancake House, 1564 01:27:14,670 --> 01:27:16,030 Cady Heron. 1565 01:27:20,710 --> 01:27:22,510 Where is Cady? 1566 01:27:24,350 --> 01:27:26,010 There she is. 1567 01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:44,250 Thanks. 1568 01:27:46,330 --> 01:27:48,730 Well, half the people in this room are mad at me. 1569 01:27:48,940 --> 01:27:51,840 And the other half only like me 1570 01:27:52,040 --> 01:27:55,240 because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus. 1571 01:27:55,440 --> 01:27:57,640 So that's not good. 1572 01:27:58,110 --> 01:28:00,770 You know, it's not really required of you to make a speech. 1573 01:28:00,980 --> 01:28:02,920 I'm almost done, I swear. 1574 01:28:03,780 --> 01:28:08,690 To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book, 1575 01:28:09,220 --> 01:28:10,990 I'm really sorry. 1576 01:28:12,360 --> 01:28:15,390 You know, I've never been to one of these things before. 1577 01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:18,930 And when I think about how many people wanted this 1578 01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:21,990 and how many people cried over it and stuff... 1579 01:28:23,740 --> 01:28:27,640 I mean, I think everybody looks like royalty tonight. 1580 01:28:27,840 --> 01:28:31,870 Look at Jessica Lopez. That dress is amazing. 1581 01:28:32,080 --> 01:28:34,880 And Emma Gerber, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, 1582 01:28:35,080 --> 01:28:36,410 and you look really pretty. 1583 01:28:39,190 --> 01:28:40,590 So... 1584 01:28:41,390 --> 01:28:43,820 ...why is everybody stressing over this thing? 1585 01:28:44,020 --> 01:28:48,320 I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just... 1586 01:28:51,300 --> 01:28:52,630 Share it. 1587 01:28:52,970 --> 01:28:57,340 A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring Fling Queen. 1588 01:28:59,740 --> 01:29:02,040 A piece for Janis Ian. 1589 01:29:03,640 --> 01:29:06,270 Seriously, most people just take the crown and go. 1590 01:29:06,480 --> 01:29:08,510 And a piece for Regina George. 1591 01:29:08,720 --> 01:29:11,550 She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a rock star. 1592 01:29:14,020 --> 01:29:15,250 Thank you. 1593 01:29:15,460 --> 01:29:17,890 And some for everybody else. 1594 01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:29,560 God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up? 1595 01:29:30,240 --> 01:29:31,700 Thanks. 1596 01:29:32,540 --> 01:29:34,870 All right, have a good time, everyone. 1597 01:29:41,880 --> 01:29:43,350 Look. I'm a queen. 1598 01:29:43,550 --> 01:29:45,110 As am I. 1599 01:29:45,550 --> 01:29:47,680 - Hey. - Hey. 1600 01:29:48,320 --> 01:29:50,380 So are we still in a fight? 1601 01:29:50,590 --> 01:29:52,680 Are you still an asshole? 1602 01:29:52,890 --> 01:29:54,120 I don't think so. 1603 01:29:54,330 --> 01:29:56,320 Well, then I guess we're OK. 1604 01:29:56,660 --> 01:29:58,500 Oh, my God, I love this song! 1605 01:29:58,700 --> 01:29:59,830 I hate this song. 1606 01:30:00,030 --> 01:30:01,870 I know this song! 1607 01:30:03,070 --> 01:30:05,270 Man candy, stage right. 1608 01:30:07,940 --> 01:30:10,840 - Hey, what's up? - Hey. Didn't think you'd make it. 1609 01:30:13,110 --> 01:30:16,499 On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates... 1610 01:30:16,580 --> 01:30:18,280 - Thanks, sucker. - Yo, peace. 1611 01:30:20,020 --> 01:30:23,290 One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House. 1612 01:30:23,720 --> 01:30:25,520 Thank you. 1613 01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:31,930 Congratulations on winning State. 1614 01:30:33,100 --> 01:30:34,767 I was so nervous. They made us do limits. 1615 01:30:34,940 --> 01:30:36,660 I thought I was gonna hurl. 1616 01:30:36,870 --> 01:30:39,130 - How's your stomach now? - It's fine. 1617 01:30:39,340 --> 01:30:42,170 - Do you feel nauseous at all? - No. 1618 01:30:42,380 --> 01:30:44,110 - Have you been drinking? - No. 1619 01:30:44,710 --> 01:30:45,940 OK. 1620 01:30:46,150 --> 01:30:47,370 Grool. 1621 01:31:12,640 --> 01:31:14,000 No. 1622 01:31:15,910 --> 01:31:18,570 - What's up? - Can I help you? 1623 01:31:19,210 --> 01:31:20,680 You Puerto Rican? 1624 01:31:20,880 --> 01:31:22,440 Lebanese. 1625 01:31:22,650 --> 01:31:24,170 I feel that. 1626 01:31:39,570 --> 01:31:42,160 In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up. 1627 01:31:42,370 --> 01:31:44,460 Regina's spine healed, and her physical therapist 1628 01:31:44,670 --> 01:31:46,970 taught her to channel all her rage into sports. 1629 01:31:51,950 --> 01:31:54,640 It was perfect because the jock girls weren't afraid of her. 1630 01:31:58,950 --> 01:32:02,480 Karen used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements. 1631 01:32:02,690 --> 01:32:06,090 Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, 1632 01:32:06,290 --> 01:32:10,530 and there's a 30 percent chance that it's already raining. 1633 01:32:11,400 --> 01:32:13,230 And Gretchen found herself a new clique 1634 01:32:13,430 --> 01:32:15,100 and a new queen bee to serve. 1635 01:32:20,040 --> 01:32:23,340 Aaron went to Northwestern, so I still get to see him on weekends. 1636 01:32:23,540 --> 01:32:24,510 And me? 1637 01:32:24,710 --> 01:32:27,370 I had gone from home-schooled jungle freak to shiny Plastic 1638 01:32:27,580 --> 01:32:30,680 to most hated person in the world to actual human being. 1639 01:32:30,880 --> 01:32:32,110 Hey. 1640 01:32:32,550 --> 01:32:36,350 All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore. 1641 01:32:36,560 --> 01:32:40,360 School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float. 1642 01:32:40,560 --> 01:32:41,790 Regina. 1643 01:32:42,000 --> 01:32:44,520 Finally, Girl World was at peace. 1644 01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:50,660 Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics. 1645 01:32:50,870 --> 01:32:54,240 And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace... 1646 01:32:54,440 --> 01:32:57,430 Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. 1647 01:33:03,380 --> 01:33:05,010 Just kidding.