1
00:00:06,609 --> 00:00:08,039
Oh, hey, Calvin. What's up?
2
00:00:08,077 --> 00:00:10,406
Hey, can I borrow some
milk for my cereal?
3
00:00:10,574 --> 00:00:12,398
Malcolm used up all of ours.
4
00:00:12,423 --> 00:00:13,990
But your bowl's empty.
5
00:00:14,022 --> 00:00:16,101
Yeah, he finished all the cereal, too.
6
00:00:17,089 --> 00:00:19,979
Do you have anything that's
magically delicious?
7
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,566
Yeah, sure. Let me get you
some of Grover's good stuff.
8
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,441
You want the sugar-free quinoa flakes
9
00:00:25,466 --> 00:00:27,737
or the date-sweetened fiber puffs?
10
00:00:28,990 --> 00:00:30,615
I'll take a banana.
11
00:00:31,735 --> 00:00:33,546
Oh, yeah, L.A. is way different
12
00:00:33,571 --> 00:00:35,782
than Hickory Corners...
It's always sunny,
13
00:00:35,807 --> 00:00:37,496
there's tons of culture,
14
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:40,083
and nobody grocery shops shirtless.
15
00:00:41,151 --> 00:00:43,593
- Honey, who is that?
- My sister.
16
00:00:43,726 --> 00:00:45,184
Brittany?
17
00:00:45,447 --> 00:00:47,215
Do not give her money,
18
00:00:47,283 --> 00:00:48,839
and do not invite her here.
19
00:00:48,864 --> 00:00:50,875
Of course! We'd love for you to visit.
20
00:00:50,907 --> 00:00:52,617
No! N...
21
00:00:52,642 --> 00:00:53,875
Hey, uh, Gemma,
22
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:56,640
did you read this article
on California earthquakes?
23
00:00:56,695 --> 00:00:59,697
They say the big one
is coming any day now.
24
00:01:00,604 --> 00:01:02,731
I wouldn't worry about that.
25
00:01:03,410 --> 00:01:05,478
I've lived in California my whole life.
26
00:01:05,503 --> 00:01:07,485
Never been hurt in an earthquake.
27
00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:09,477
What are you doing?
28
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,530
That's for your sucky cereal.
29
00:01:12,975 --> 00:01:15,117
All right, well, love you, too. Bye.
30
00:01:15,198 --> 00:01:17,414
Wow, Dave, there's
actually someone out there
31
00:01:17,439 --> 00:01:18,673
you don't like?
32
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:20,265
What's her secret?
33
00:01:20,668 --> 00:01:22,352
Calvin, you don't understand.
34
00:01:23,553 --> 00:01:26,082
Gemma's sister is a total disaster.
35
00:01:26,107 --> 00:01:27,921
She flakes on everything,
nothing's ever her fault,
36
00:01:27,946 --> 00:01:30,781
and the only time we ever hear from
her is when she needs something.
37
00:01:30,806 --> 00:01:32,873
- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah? What about the time
38
00:01:32,898 --> 00:01:34,512
she asked you for a kidney?
39
00:01:34,906 --> 00:01:37,390
That's not fair. It wasn't even for her.
40
00:01:38,356 --> 00:01:40,664
O-Okay, okay, so she's still
figuring her life out.
41
00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:43,402
- But she's got a good heart.
- Yeah, which she probably
42
00:01:43,427 --> 00:01:45,314
suckered someone into giving her.
43
00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:49,151
You know, she sounds like
Tina's cousin Lamar,
44
00:01:49,552 --> 00:01:51,686
who she found out wasn't her cousin,
45
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:52,988
or named Lamar.
46
00:01:54,593 --> 00:01:56,427
Well, then you know
what I'm talking about
47
00:01:56,452 --> 00:01:58,554
and why the last person I want here
48
00:01:58,584 --> 00:02:00,185
is... Oh, Brittany.
49
00:02:00,446 --> 00:02:01,472
Surprise!
50
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:02,505
Brittany!
51
00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:04,014
Oh, my God!
52
00:02:04,923 --> 00:02:06,131
Forget the banana.
53
00:02:06,156 --> 00:02:08,003
This is magically delicious.
54
00:02:15,365 --> 00:02:17,366
I can't believes called
you're really here.
55
00:02:17,391 --> 00:02:18,825
Thought it'd be a fun surprise.
56
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,288
Like when you showed
up on our honeymoon.
57
00:02:21,644 --> 00:02:23,677
That was the best two weeks ever.
58
00:02:24,098 --> 00:02:25,897
Thanks again for bailing me out.
59
00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:29,775
Mexican jails are no bueno.
60
00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:32,552
Uh, so, Brittany, what brings you here?
61
00:02:32,577 --> 00:02:35,323
I know it wasn't Greyhound,
because they banned you.
62
00:02:36,093 --> 00:02:37,851
I've always wanted to
come to California,
63
00:02:37,876 --> 00:02:39,643
and I finally finished
dental hygiene school.
64
00:02:39,668 --> 00:02:42,968
You graduated? Congratulations!
65
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:44,494
Oh, no, I didn't say I graduated.
66
00:02:44,519 --> 00:02:45,876
I just stopped going.
67
00:02:47,472 --> 00:02:50,549
Uh, uh, what about the money
we gave you for tuition?
68
00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:51,743
Oh, don't worry, I used it,
69
00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:53,304
and I enrolled in a cosmetology course.
70
00:02:53,329 --> 00:02:55,157
Oh, that's great. How's it going?
71
00:02:55,182 --> 00:02:56,215
Oh, I quit that, too.
72
00:02:56,647 --> 00:02:58,470
They wanted me to go four days a week,
73
00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:00,256
and it's, like, I want
to be a cosmetologist,
74
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,915
not a doctor.
75
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:05,810
Okay, well, it was great of
you to stop by on your way
76
00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:07,314
to somewhere else.
77
00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,011
Actually, I was kind of
hoping I could hang here
78
00:03:10,036 --> 00:03:11,540
until I figured out my next move?
79
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:13,403
Of course. You're my little sister.
80
00:03:13,428 --> 00:03:15,376
You can stay as long as you want.
81
00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:17,740
Cool. So, where am I crashing?
82
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,845
You can sleep in my room.
I have bunk beds.
83
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:22,078
Ha-ha! It'll be like we're cellmates.
84
00:03:25,181 --> 00:03:27,574
Hey, Dave.
85
00:03:27,614 --> 00:03:29,768
How's the new roommate working out?
86
00:03:29,950 --> 00:03:32,087
Are you as miserable as I hope?
87
00:03:33,378 --> 00:03:34,924
Even worse.
88
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,931
She has been here one day, and
she already broke the oven,
89
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,257
erased our DVR, and this morning...
90
00:03:40,669 --> 00:03:43,341
she used my karate gi as a bathrobe.
91
00:03:44,869 --> 00:03:47,955
Dave, you got yourself a
freeloader on your hands.
92
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,822
And it's your own fault
for putting up with it.
93
00:03:49,847 --> 00:03:51,857
What am I supposed to do?
She's Gemma's sister.
94
00:03:51,934 --> 00:03:53,402
Family doesn't get a pass.
95
00:03:53,427 --> 00:03:55,628
I don't care if she was my mama.
96
00:03:55,707 --> 00:03:58,656
Calvin Butler would nip
that nonsense in the bud.
97
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:00,409
Kee-ya!
98
00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:01,668
Ha!
99
00:04:01,778 --> 00:04:02,828
Hey, guys.
100
00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:04,453
Oh, Pop, just a heads-up.
101
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,986
I went over the family data limit,
102
00:04:06,011 --> 00:04:07,845
so the phone bill's gonna
be a little bit high.
103
00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:11,335
Lot of great fights on
YouTube this month.
104
00:04:12,222 --> 00:04:13,826
Well, good thing you...
105
00:04:13,851 --> 00:04:16,298
nipped that nonsense in the bud.
106
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,267
Oh, and,
107
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,969
uh, for the record, it's...
108
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,596
Kee-ya!
109
00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:30,360
Hey, Ma, is it cool if I
borrow your car tonight?
110
00:04:30,385 --> 00:04:32,743
Oh, sure, baby. But it's
just about out of gas.
111
00:04:32,768 --> 00:04:34,286
Oh, don't worry, I got you.
112
00:04:34,311 --> 00:04:35,902
Where's your gas card?
113
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,647
Her gas card?
114
00:04:38,832 --> 00:04:42,158
You do know they take your cash?
115
00:04:42,734 --> 00:04:45,903
Yeah, Pop, but then Mom
wouldn't get her points.
116
00:04:45,955 --> 00:04:48,156
Yeah, Calvin... why are you
trying to take my points?
117
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,500
What are they even for?
118
00:04:50,525 --> 00:04:52,329
I don't know, but they're
mine and I want 'em.
119
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,588
Yeah.
120
00:04:54,613 --> 00:04:55,963
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
121
00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:57,572
Uh, what are you doing?
122
00:04:57,736 --> 00:04:59,424
I'm getting a piece of garlic bread.
123
00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:01,427
Yeah, but the middle piece?
124
00:05:01,495 --> 00:05:04,055
That's the one with the
best crust-to-butter ratio.
125
00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:06,446
Fine. What's the big deal, man?
126
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:07,571
It's just bread.
127
00:05:07,651 --> 00:05:09,349
Oh, "it's just bread."
128
00:05:09,374 --> 00:05:12,146
Bread that you didn't buy
or that you didn't cook.
129
00:05:12,753 --> 00:05:14,626
Well, Calvin, you
didn't cook it, either.
130
00:05:14,651 --> 00:05:16,585
I'm trying to make a point, Tina.
131
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,603
Oh. So now you want your points?
132
00:05:18,628 --> 00:05:20,689
Uh, look...
133
00:05:20,768 --> 00:05:23,115
he's had a job for a while now,
134
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,368
and it's just time for him
to stop being a freeloader.
135
00:05:26,099 --> 00:05:27,266
A freeloader?
136
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:29,960
Yeah. You know, I'm tired
of him not chipping in,
137
00:05:30,031 --> 00:05:33,415
so I'm nipping it in the
bud right now. Kee-ya!
138
00:05:34,314 --> 00:05:35,481
Calvin,
139
00:05:35,506 --> 00:05:36,907
Malcolm is not a freeloader.
140
00:05:36,932 --> 00:05:38,359
He's just trying to get on his feet.
141
00:05:38,384 --> 00:05:40,222
Well, what he needs to
do is go in his wallet
142
00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,885
and give me some bread for this bread.
143
00:05:42,579 --> 00:05:44,002
You know what? Fine.
144
00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:45,661
If that's the way you want it.
145
00:05:45,827 --> 00:05:47,515
Look. Here you go.
146
00:05:49,106 --> 00:05:50,673
Five dollars?
147
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,394
That's all I have on me.
148
00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:54,606
Oh. Well, in that case...
149
00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:57,399
Enjoy your salad.
150
00:06:03,354 --> 00:06:05,478
Oh. Hey. I didn't think you were home.
151
00:06:05,503 --> 00:06:07,298
Your car isn't out front.
152
00:06:07,372 --> 00:06:09,640
Oh, yeah. Brittany took
it to go get coffee.
153
00:06:09,808 --> 00:06:11,509
You let her borrow your car?
154
00:06:11,546 --> 00:06:13,126
That is so nice.
155
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:16,126
Oh, I didn't say
"borrow." I said "took."
156
00:06:16,973 --> 00:06:19,838
Along with $20 and my
favorite sunglasses.
157
00:06:20,509 --> 00:06:22,064
Dave, she's my little sister.
158
00:06:22,089 --> 00:06:23,087
What do you want me to do?
159
00:06:23,112 --> 00:06:26,053
I want you to stop enabling her.
160
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:28,255
The reason she quits
everything that she does
161
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,015
is she knows that you'll be
right there to bail her out.
162
00:06:31,109 --> 00:06:33,061
Sometimes literally.
163
00:06:33,782 --> 00:06:35,828
Dave, I'm not enabling here.
164
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,232
I'm being supportive.
165
00:06:37,257 --> 00:06:39,564
Things just don't come as easily to her.
166
00:06:39,589 --> 00:06:41,119
Okay. Well, just so you know,
167
00:06:41,144 --> 00:06:43,586
Grover said her Ouija board spelled out
168
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,782
"lend Brittany money" last night.
169
00:06:48,689 --> 00:06:51,054
Look, it's not like
she's staying forever.
170
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:52,579
We both know in a few days
171
00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:54,249
she'll get bored and take off
172
00:06:54,274 --> 00:06:56,322
right after she asks for
a clean urine sample.
173
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:59,503
Hey, guys. Guess what?
174
00:06:59,528 --> 00:07:00,797
You lost my sunglasses?
175
00:07:00,822 --> 00:07:02,447
Yep, that, too.
176
00:07:03,134 --> 00:07:05,263
What I meant was, I finally figured out
177
00:07:05,288 --> 00:07:06,888
what I'm gonna do with my life.
178
00:07:07,377 --> 00:07:08,972
I'm gonna be an actor.
179
00:07:13,572 --> 00:07:15,415
What?
180
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,689
I was in the coffee shop
181
00:07:16,714 --> 00:07:18,054
and I was arguing with the barista
182
00:07:18,079 --> 00:07:20,190
of whether or not I brought
the tip jar with me,
183
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:22,234
when...
184
00:07:22,297 --> 00:07:24,232
this talent agent comes up, and he says
185
00:07:24,257 --> 00:07:26,447
he's going to make me... a star.
186
00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:27,964
Oh.
187
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,675
Oh, sweetie, I know
that sounds exciting,
188
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,799
but I'm not sure that
that's the way it works.
189
00:07:32,824 --> 00:07:34,992
Oh, uh, she's right. It's a scam.
190
00:07:35,053 --> 00:07:38,042
Con artists preying on naive dreamers.
191
00:07:38,269 --> 00:07:39,918
I was devastated.
192
00:07:40,757 --> 00:07:42,389
No, this guy's totally legit.
193
00:07:42,414 --> 00:07:44,814
He already got me an audition
for a commercial tomorrow.
194
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:45,861
Really?
195
00:07:45,886 --> 00:07:47,395
Yeah.
196
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:49,525
So looks like I'm here to stay.
197
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:50,784
Huh.
198
00:07:51,499 --> 00:07:52,832
You hear that?
199
00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:54,600
She's here to stay.
200
00:07:55,626 --> 00:07:56,852
Whew!
201
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,842
And we are here to be supportive.
202
00:08:02,327 --> 00:08:03,835
This is so exciting!
203
00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:06,195
I'm gonna go practice
my lines up in my room.
204
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,121
Now, that's a juicy burger.
205
00:08:08,146 --> 00:08:10,450
Now, that's a juicy burger!
206
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,619
That's a juicy...
207
00:08:13,169 --> 00:08:14,828
This is a disaster.
208
00:08:14,853 --> 00:08:16,564
Dave, it's not as bad as it seems.
209
00:08:16,589 --> 00:08:19,885
Yes, it is. Those were my sunglasses!
210
00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:22,252
It should've been me!
211
00:08:25,777 --> 00:08:27,537
Oh, that looks tasty.
212
00:08:27,562 --> 00:08:28,697
Salami and cheese?
213
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:30,767
Oh, yeah, and all the fixings.
214
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:32,900
Great. That'll be seven bucks.
215
00:08:34,439 --> 00:08:36,838
You can make it a combo
for a dollar more.
216
00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:41,193
You know, actually, Pop,
what you said last night
217
00:08:41,226 --> 00:08:42,842
made a whole lot of sense.
218
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:44,650
I shouldn't be eating your food.
219
00:08:44,821 --> 00:08:46,819
So I went out and I bought my own.
220
00:08:46,844 --> 00:08:49,447
Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked.
221
00:08:49,518 --> 00:08:52,092
You know what? Fix me
one of those, and, um,
222
00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:53,406
make it a combo.
223
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,170
You know, I would, Pop,
224
00:08:57,195 --> 00:09:00,165
but this is all stuff I bought myself.
You see?
225
00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,417
I put my name on it.
226
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,476
Okay.
227
00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:06,412
You're putting your name on meat now?
228
00:09:06,437 --> 00:09:08,717
Who are you, Oscar Mayer?
229
00:09:09,785 --> 00:09:12,115
Yeah, well, this way, you eat your food
230
00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,600
and I eat mine. Mm-hmm!
231
00:09:15,123 --> 00:09:16,936
You know what? That is a good idea.
232
00:09:16,961 --> 00:09:19,201
- Mm.
- Maybe I should start putting
233
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,537
my name on stuff I paid for.
234
00:09:21,584 --> 00:09:23,218
Okay.
235
00:09:23,243 --> 00:09:24,764
Look at that... looks like
236
00:09:24,789 --> 00:09:25,842
your sandwich
237
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:27,842
is on my plate.
238
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:30,608
Well, lucky for me,
239
00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:32,334
this meal is handheld.
240
00:09:32,469 --> 00:09:35,171
That is lucky for you.
241
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:38,006
But what is not lucky for
you is that your food...
242
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:39,904
is in my fridge.
243
00:09:42,657 --> 00:09:45,240
Not a problem. I'll get a mini fridge
244
00:09:45,265 --> 00:09:46,428
for my room.
245
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,154
Yes. A problem.
246
00:09:48,641 --> 00:09:50,309
Because...
247
00:09:50,369 --> 00:09:53,967
your room is in my house.
248
00:09:54,975 --> 00:09:57,670
Well, in that case, maybe
I need a place of my own.
249
00:09:57,695 --> 00:09:59,563
Maybe you do.
250
00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:01,746
Well, maybe I should go
look for one right now.
251
00:10:01,771 --> 00:10:03,733
Maybe you should.
252
00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:06,864
You know what? Fine.
253
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:13,287
Hello?
254
00:10:13,387 --> 00:10:15,855
I just wanted to remind you...
255
00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:18,639
that's my phone.
256
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,126
Well, I hope you're happy.
257
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:30,764
I just got off the phone with Malcolm.
258
00:10:30,805 --> 00:10:32,428
He already found a place.
259
00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:34,842
So he's still using my phone?
260
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,826
Calvin, your son is
moving into a one bedroom
261
00:10:37,851 --> 00:10:39,585
with four strangers
262
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,412
all because the both of you are
too stubborn to back down.
263
00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:44,204
Me? Stubborn?
264
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,521
I'll sit here all day and argue that.
265
00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,468
Come on, Tina.
266
00:10:49,653 --> 00:10:51,687
Moving out is gonna be good for him.
267
00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:54,014
- How?
- Well, for starters,
268
00:10:54,039 --> 00:10:55,217
with him out of the house,
269
00:10:55,242 --> 00:10:57,276
I don't have to wear pants anymore.
270
00:10:58,404 --> 00:11:00,842
That's not good for him,
that's good for you.
271
00:11:00,867 --> 00:11:03,842
Well, actually, it's good for you.
272
00:11:10,381 --> 00:11:13,240
You need to apologize to
your son and tell him
273
00:11:13,265 --> 00:11:15,413
he can stay, or things are gonna
274
00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:16,909
get ugly around here.
275
00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:18,865
How ugly?
276
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:21,372
Remember the Valentine's Day
you bought me a toaster?
277
00:11:21,397 --> 00:11:22,983
Uglier than that.
278
00:11:24,658 --> 00:11:27,014
Good morning.
279
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:31,358
Seriously? For the last
time, stop wearing my gi.
280
00:11:31,383 --> 00:11:34,233
It's a slap in the face to Sensei Chad.
281
00:11:36,103 --> 00:11:37,506
So, how are you feeling?
282
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,065
Are you ready for your big audition?
283
00:11:39,495 --> 00:11:41,563
Oh, yeah, Grover and I
rehearsed all night.
284
00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:42,722
Check it out.
285
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:46,045
Now, that's a tasty burger.
286
00:11:46,681 --> 00:11:48,623
I thought it was a "juicy" burger?
287
00:11:48,648 --> 00:11:50,069
Yeah, but I decided "juicy"
288
00:11:50,094 --> 00:11:52,154
isn't a word my character would use.
289
00:11:52,961 --> 00:11:56,084
And yet, you have it
tattooed on your lower back.
290
00:11:57,279 --> 00:11:58,846
So, what time do you have to be there?
291
00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:00,100
Not until 9:00.
292
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,053
Brittany! It's 8:45.
293
00:12:02,078 --> 00:12:04,115
Oh, my God, you're right.
Okay, I'm just gonna eat
294
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,004
something really quick
and then we'll go.
295
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:08,077
- Where's your pancake mix?
- What? No! No, no, no.
296
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,006
No, no, no, no. No pancakes.
297
00:12:10,031 --> 00:12:12,873
Go put on some clothes. If we
hurry, we can still make it.
298
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,631
Fine. I'll meet you in the car.
299
00:12:15,656 --> 00:12:18,170
We'll just hit up a
drive-through on the way there.
300
00:12:23,223 --> 00:12:24,390
Hey.
301
00:12:24,415 --> 00:12:25,682
Hey.
302
00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:26,997
I got some boxes,
303
00:12:27,022 --> 00:12:28,793
so I'll be out of your way by tonight.
304
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:32,121
Look, about that, um,
305
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,684
things got a little out
of hand yesterday,
306
00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:38,078
so you don't have to move
out if you don't want to.
307
00:12:38,103 --> 00:12:40,474
Oh, thank you, Pop. You
know, I've been feeling bad
308
00:12:40,499 --> 00:12:42,325
about the way things went down, too.
309
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:46,684
Great. Well, go tell your mom I
said all that sensitive crap.
310
00:12:46,804 --> 00:12:48,778
And, uh,
311
00:12:48,912 --> 00:12:50,679
you know, tell her we hugged.
312
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,098
She'll eat that stuff up right there.
313
00:12:54,578 --> 00:12:56,872
Wait, so you're only
saying you want me to stay
314
00:12:56,897 --> 00:12:58,331
because Mom made you?
315
00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:00,293
Yeah.
316
00:13:01,289 --> 00:13:04,442
You expect me to wear pants
the rest of my life?
317
00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:07,439
You know what? Do whatever you want,
318
00:13:07,464 --> 00:13:09,090
because I'm not gonna be here to see it.
319
00:13:09,115 --> 00:13:11,089
Really? You gonna act like that
320
00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:14,471
after I said everything
your mama made me say?
321
00:13:15,705 --> 00:13:17,534
I-I expected more from you.
322
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,370
And this is exactly what
I expected from you.
323
00:13:20,395 --> 00:13:22,206
What is that supposed to mean?
324
00:13:22,231 --> 00:13:23,917
I don't know, ask Mom.
325
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:26,776
Ha! Well, the joke's on you,
326
00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:29,315
because she's not talking to me.
327
00:13:33,244 --> 00:13:35,061
Oh, you're back.
328
00:13:35,086 --> 00:13:36,495
How'd the audition go?
329
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,018
Not great.
330
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:42,026
Brittany "accidentally" spilled
coffee on another actress
331
00:13:42,051 --> 00:13:45,198
and then asked the casting
director when the baby was due.
332
00:13:45,223 --> 00:13:48,388
Huh. She wasn't pregnant?
333
00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,089
No, he wasn't.
334
00:13:50,114 --> 00:13:51,547
Oh.
335
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:53,839
Now that's a juicy burger.
336
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,954
Dave, when she comes down,
please be nice to her.
337
00:13:58,979 --> 00:14:01,080
She's in a very fragile state right now.
338
00:14:01,105 --> 00:14:03,039
Oh, I don't care what state she's in,
339
00:14:03,064 --> 00:14:04,690
as long as it's not California.
340
00:14:04,715 --> 00:14:06,135
Dave.
341
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:08,151
But I will be nice.
342
00:14:08,818 --> 00:14:10,776
Well, my agent just called.
343
00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,229
I'm sorry, sweetie.
344
00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:14,233
- I know how much you wanted this.
- Yeah.
345
00:14:14,258 --> 00:14:15,591
Don't be too hard on yourself.
346
00:14:15,776 --> 00:14:17,343
What are you guys talking about?
347
00:14:17,396 --> 00:14:18,563
I got the part.
348
00:14:18,588 --> 00:14:20,878
- What?!
- Of course.
349
00:14:21,582 --> 00:14:24,315
Yeah, they said they loved my
"spunky, unpredictable energy,"
350
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:25,892
which is funny, 'cause that's exactly
351
00:14:25,917 --> 00:14:28,573
what my parole officer hated.
352
00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:32,446
Wow. Uh, you did it. Congratulations.
353
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:34,948
Thanks. Too bad I had to turn it down.
354
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:37,253
- What?
- Of course.
355
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,487
Why would you turn it down?
356
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:43,104
Well, think about it.
357
00:14:43,129 --> 00:14:48,197
If I booked my first audition,
I am clearly a great actor.
358
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:51,331
And great actors don't do commercials.
359
00:14:53,574 --> 00:14:55,682
But this is a huge opportunity.
360
00:14:55,707 --> 00:14:57,214
You're just gonna throw it away?
361
00:14:57,239 --> 00:14:59,510
Yeah. Plus, they said it
was gonna air in Mexico,
362
00:14:59,535 --> 00:15:01,643
and I've got mucho warrants down there.
363
00:15:03,246 --> 00:15:04,823
You know what?
364
00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:06,115
Dave is right.
365
00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:08,441
I do enable you.
366
00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:10,873
I have given you so many chances
367
00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:13,433
and made so many excuses for you,
368
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:15,393
and all you do is screw it up.
369
00:15:15,757 --> 00:15:17,325
But I am done.
370
00:15:17,408 --> 00:15:20,307
You need to get your
stuff and go home, now.
371
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,870
I know. You're right.
372
00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:28,019
I'm a disaster.
373
00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:30,190
And the worst part is,
374
00:15:30,215 --> 00:15:31,815
I don't even know why.
375
00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:34,729
I-I quit anything I start,
376
00:15:34,949 --> 00:15:37,573
anything good in my life
I find a way to ruin.
377
00:15:38,028 --> 00:15:39,549
Even our relationship.
378
00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:43,831
You're the best big sister
anybody could have,
379
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,714
and all I do is I-I just
take advantage of you.
380
00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:52,737
I don't know what else to
say, but I'm... I'm sorry.
381
00:15:54,097 --> 00:15:55,995
I'm gonna go pack my things.
382
00:15:57,209 --> 00:15:58,729
Uh, Brittany, wait.
383
00:15:58,754 --> 00:16:00,018
I'm sorry I said that.
384
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,910
Please, please, please don't go.
385
00:16:01,935 --> 00:16:03,269
Are you sure?
386
00:16:03,294 --> 00:16:05,971
Of course. You're my little sister.
387
00:16:06,545 --> 00:16:08,432
And scene.
388
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,979
Wait, what?
389
00:16:15,465 --> 00:16:18,401
I told you. I am a great actor.
390
00:16:19,174 --> 00:16:20,532
You just made all that up?
391
00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:23,527
Not all. I stole a few
lines from Gossip Girl.
392
00:16:23,552 --> 00:16:25,319
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
393
00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:27,279
All right.
394
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,807
- That's it. You need to leave... now.
- What?
395
00:16:30,832 --> 00:16:32,026
- You heard me.
- Okay, but...
396
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:33,702
No, I'm not giving you my pee.
397
00:16:35,575 --> 00:16:38,749
Fine. Haters gonna hate.
398
00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:46,393
You did it.
399
00:16:46,418 --> 00:16:48,052
You finally stood up to her.
400
00:16:48,077 --> 00:16:49,700
I know, but I was so harsh.
401
00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:50,992
Do you think she'll get over it?
402
00:16:51,017 --> 00:16:52,628
Of course she's gonna get over it.
403
00:16:52,766 --> 00:16:54,625
I'll tell you what I'll never get over.
404
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:57,767
She is a way better actor
than I'll ever be.
405
00:17:00,511 --> 00:17:03,107
Well, that's everything.
406
00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:05,284
You know, I can't believe
you and your father
407
00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:07,065
are being so stubborn about this.
408
00:17:07,097 --> 00:17:08,431
He's the stubborn one.
409
00:17:08,456 --> 00:17:10,322
I just refuse to give in.
410
00:17:11,966 --> 00:17:14,702
Calvin, Malcolm's leaving!
411
00:17:16,409 --> 00:17:18,511
Don't you have anything to say to him?
412
00:17:18,617 --> 00:17:20,247
Fine.
413
00:17:25,826 --> 00:17:27,124
Seriously?
414
00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:29,407
You two have nothing
to say to each other?
415
00:17:29,436 --> 00:17:30,993
- Nope.
- Nope.
416
00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:34,758
See, that's what your problem is...
you're too much alike.
417
00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,548
- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.
418
00:17:36,573 --> 00:17:37,813
You know what?
419
00:17:37,838 --> 00:17:40,645
Maybe you're right. Maybe
this is a good idea.
420
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,055
With Malcolm gone,
421
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,493
you can finally watch
football all by yourself
422
00:17:44,518 --> 00:17:45,656
without anyone to debate
423
00:17:45,681 --> 00:17:48,992
about who's the best player,
or argue over calls.
424
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:50,654
Sounds good to me.
425
00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:54,324
And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck
playing cards with your dad.
426
00:17:54,349 --> 00:17:55,563
You know, talking about politics
427
00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:57,023
and what's going on in the world.
428
00:17:57,048 --> 00:17:58,925
That's right. I can do
that with my roommates.
429
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:01,318
Yeah, and since two of you
sleep in the living room,
430
00:18:01,343 --> 00:18:03,584
y'all can chitchat all night long.
431
00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:07,712
Yeah, that's... that's gonna be fun.
432
00:18:08,937 --> 00:18:11,334
And, Calvin, you don't
have to remind Malcolm
433
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:12,861
about taking the trash out anymore,
434
00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:14,854
because you'll be doing it!
That's right.
435
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,863
Uh-huh.
436
00:18:18,634 --> 00:18:21,852
Well, now that we all agree
this is for the best...
437
00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:23,770
Calvin, tomorrow's trash day.
438
00:18:23,851 --> 00:18:25,786
Malcolm, don't let the doorknob hit ya
439
00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:27,649
where the good Lord split ya.
440
00:18:31,826 --> 00:18:33,517
So, uh...
441
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,955
really? Two of y'all sleep
in the living room?
442
00:18:36,225 --> 00:18:38,260
It's not as bad as it sounds.
443
00:18:38,304 --> 00:18:40,606
We got a line of tape down the middle.
444
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:43,332
Well, fine.
445
00:18:43,357 --> 00:18:45,625
I hope you enjoy watching
football with him.
446
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:48,313
Well, actually, we don't have cable,
447
00:18:48,338 --> 00:18:50,639
which would be useless
anyway, because...
448
00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:52,298
we don't have a TV.
449
00:18:52,644 --> 00:18:53,927
What?!
450
00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:55,494
Man, that's crazy.
451
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:57,807
Every man deserves to watch football.
452
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,764
I think that's in the Constitution.
453
00:19:01,628 --> 00:19:03,151
I'll tell you what.
454
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:07,146
Why don't you come over Sunday
and watch one of the games?
455
00:19:07,353 --> 00:19:09,148
Okay, that'd be cool.
456
00:19:09,374 --> 00:19:13,033
Of course... there's also
MondayNight Football.
457
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,430
And Thursday.
458
00:19:17,328 --> 00:19:19,955
That would be a lot of
driving back and forth.
459
00:19:20,051 --> 00:19:22,086
Especially without your mama's gas card.
460
00:19:24,342 --> 00:19:26,110
Well, maybe...
461
00:19:26,343 --> 00:19:28,509
you should finish out the season here.
462
00:19:29,306 --> 00:19:31,915
That does seem like
the logical solution.
463
00:19:32,328 --> 00:19:33,866
Yeah, all right.
464
00:19:33,891 --> 00:19:37,027
Well, uh, maybe you should
just stay for a little while.
465
00:19:37,572 --> 00:19:39,218
Yeah, for a little while.
466
00:19:39,243 --> 00:19:40,796
All right. Well, good. Come on.
467
00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:42,889
Let me help you get these boxes in, son.
468
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,461
Hey, you know what, Pop?
469
00:19:44,486 --> 00:19:46,665
If I am gonna stay here
for a little while,
470
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:48,485
I think I should start paying rent.
471
00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:50,398
You damn straight you are.
472
00:19:51,243 --> 00:19:53,255
And I'm talking market rate.
473
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,278
I don't play that rent control.
474
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:02,712
Hey, Dave. You take
Brittany to the airport?
475
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:04,579
Actually, the train station.
476
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,951
She says the airport is
"bounty hunter central."
477
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,208
Well, congratulations.
478
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:11,720
You got rid of your freeloader.
479
00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,946
Oh, not me. It was all Gemma.
480
00:20:14,665 --> 00:20:16,132
What about you?
481
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,587
Uh, you and Malcolm
figure everything out?
482
00:20:18,612 --> 00:20:22,282
Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina
begged me not to kick him out,
483
00:20:22,307 --> 00:20:25,224
so, what are you gonna do, you know?
484
00:20:26,552 --> 00:20:27,907
Dave, we got to go.
485
00:20:27,932 --> 00:20:29,072
Where?
486
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,610
The train station just called.
487
00:20:30,635 --> 00:20:32,212
Apparently, they have a jail.
488
00:20:33,786 --> 00:20:35,610
Oh, check out this crazy white girl
489
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,036
fighting on YouTube.
490
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,322
Brittany?!
491
00:20:40,237 --> 00:20:41,992
Damn!
492
00:20:42,149 --> 00:20:44,244
She put that conductor to sleep.
493
00:20:45,984 --> 00:20:47,418
And look at that.
494
00:20:47,564 --> 00:20:49,666
She's wearing my sunglasses!
495
00:20:49,691 --> 00:20:52,859
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