1
00:00:02,739 --> 00:00:03,739
Jonathan Winters?

2
00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:05,700
Fifteen seconds are curtain, Mr.
Winters.

3
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:07,440
Please, why do they do this to me?

4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,680
There's no time for that.

5
00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:11,700
Don't you know there's an old gypsy?
She's put a curse on the performance.

6
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,660
I just can't appear tonight. I can't
appear, I tell you.

7
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,040
But, sir, there's no gypsy curse.

8
00:00:16,379 --> 00:00:17,380
Oh, yeah.

9
00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:21,090
It's always people like you that say...
There's no gypsy curse.

10
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,150
Well, there is a gypsy curse. I saw her
in the alley.

11
00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:26,610
Frightway. A woman will tear her clear
out to here. One eye. That tells you

12
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,170
something. One -eyed woman. She looked
like she'd been hit from the back real

13
00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:32,790
hard. It just popped out. She said,
there's a curse on the show.

14
00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:35,930
What does it take for her to believe me?

15
00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:38,390
Well,

16
00:00:41,050 --> 00:00:44,430
that'll do fine.

17
00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:46,730
Glad you took the brunt of it.

18
00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:51,160
It's the puppet show with our very
special guest.

19
00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:39,750
You called?

20
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:48,670
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello
and welcome again to the Muppet Show.

21
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:50,570
boy, do you have a treat in store.

22
00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:53,950
Because our guest star tonight is one of
your all -time terrific never -to -miss

23
00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:58,330
comedians, the king of nuttiness, Mr.
Jonathan Winters. What good news?

24
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:03,370
Well, so much for the good news.

25
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,550
I thought lightning never struck twice.

26
00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:11,450
Will you get these sandbags out of here?

27
00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:17,010
I'm going backstage to unfrazzle. But
right now...

28
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:26,900
Oh, that tiger.

29
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:14,760
pressing hole in the wall.

30
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,300
We'll hide out here, butch.

31
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,080
Hey, wait a second. What are you guys
doing here? Your act just started.

32
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:27,980
Somebody stole our tiger.

33
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:29,720
Oh, good grief.

34
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:31,140
Scooter, what's on next?

35
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,520
Oh, Patty Saverne in her train chair.

36
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:55,940
Bernice earned her half horse half
watermelon egg. Oh, bad luck, Kermit.

37
00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:59,120
the horse half just came down with hoof
and mouth disease.

38
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,260
Could we just use the watermelon half?

39
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,680
What a bizarre and disgusting thought.

40
00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:10,080
I guess so. Well, what can we send out
on stage now?

41
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,860
How about, hey, how about Jonathan?

42
00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:15,060
Jonathan, Jonathan Winters. Jonathan
Winters on stage please.

43
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,590
What is it, Jonathan? I just can't go on
tonight. I don't know about you,

44
00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:29,490
whether you've heard this or not, but
there's been a curse put on by a

45
00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:33,330
gypsy lady. A curse put on the show. No,
no, no. There is no gypsy curse on

46
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:34,330
tonight's show.

47
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,310
There's a curse put on the show, I tell
you.

48
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,210
Jonathan, if you'd just get out on
stage, please, and do your act now.

49
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:42,390
I'm not going to do my act. I'm not with
a curse on the show.

50
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,470
I don't care what you say.

51
00:04:46,990 --> 00:04:49,570
There's been a curse put on the show.

52
00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,010
That's the way she talks.

53
00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:52,030
Hurry, hurry, hurry.

54
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,350
Is there an echo in here tonight?

55
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:09,650
It's a real honor to introduce our
special guest star tonight, ladies and

56
00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:13,530
gentlemen. He's a comedy genius, a man
of a million characters, and here he is

57
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,570
now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Please,
please.

58
00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:21,650
The gypsy curse is upon us. Can you...
All my props are gone.

59
00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:28,210
I... I ruined... What do we do now?

60
00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:30,770
I was so sad.

61
00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:32,590
Can we declare an intermission?

62
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,250
I tried that once. The audience left and
they never came back.

63
00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:40,530
I'll get my props. Jonathan can use
them. Oh, good. Hurry up and get them.

64
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:44,330
Just stay with us, ladies and gentlemen.

65
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,870
Jonathan Winters will be right out, I
hope.

66
00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:49,510
Here you go. Here's my prop box.

67
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:51,110
You can use it all.

68
00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,330
Oh, dear.

69
00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:55,790
I was sure this would have held it.

70
00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:58,650
Oh, good. You're ready.

71
00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:00,590
Yes.

72
00:06:01,039 --> 00:06:04,320
Um, uh, ladies and gentlemen, I think
we're all ready back there now. Uh, here

73
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,080
he is, uh, Mr. Jonathan Winters!

74
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:13,100
Thank you. Thank you, Chairman.

75
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:14,380
Bless your heart.

76
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,060
You don't have to wait back.

77
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:24,080
Ah, dear. Well, what I love to do is to
open the trunk, pardon my back, see the

78
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:30,400
light on my front, and, of course, it's
just full of things that I've collected.

79
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,060
from all over the world.

80
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:33,380
How dramatic.

81
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,380
Yes, let's hope this is the front.

82
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,940
Long time since I've been an officer.

83
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:43,720
Steady as she goes.

84
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,400
Elias, you do well at the wheel.

85
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:48,660
Thank you, sir.

86
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:52,420
Thank you. I wish I could make you out
in this bloody storm.

87
00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:57,060
My turn.

88
00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,460
Steady as she goes.

89
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:03,250
I hate to kill him, but it is my ship.

90
00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:09,410
Terrific. Go ahead.

91
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:12,130
Oh, what a lovely day.

92
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,870
Margo, please, pay attention.

93
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:16,510
Shooting star.

94
00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:17,870
My horse.

95
00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:20,450
My horse is running.

96
00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:22,650
Could I have your glasses?

97
00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:24,170
Not those, the other one.

98
00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,210
Poor nearsighted devil.

99
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,080
Charles! Lord Charles! Hello!

100
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:33,620
Hello!

101
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:35,600
Why does he do that?

102
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,540
Those things hurt.

103
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,580
To you.

104
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,300
That was terrific.

105
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:49,660
No, it wasn't.

106
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,240
I'll tell you when it is. Sorry.

107
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,040
what you say.

108
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:03,800
I'm not afraid.

109
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,840
Sure, there's 6 ,000 Shoshone.

110
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,840
You're walking there. Come here.

111
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:19,220
You got a lot of lines for an Indian.

112
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,540
This is going to be great.

113
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:27,629
Is it?

114
00:08:27,630 --> 00:08:29,530
I think so. I'll be the judge, then.
Yes, sir.

115
00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:32,570
So far, I'm the judge.

116
00:08:35,370 --> 00:08:36,370
Ah.

117
00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:45,730
My people,

118
00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:52,870
and I, Chief Ironhand, will do a dance

119
00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:53,870
for you.

120
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:56,230
Please take pictures of us.

121
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:18,990
That's an old joke.

122
00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:22,370
Well, some things improve with age. You
don't.

123
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:31,550
It is murder out there. You know, we
must really be under that old gypsy

124
00:09:31,550 --> 00:09:35,710
curse. Fuzzy, that's ridiculous. Now,
everything's pretty much as always.

125
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,090
Comet, how can you say that?

126
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,170
We are doomed.

127
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,310
Yes, what has to happen before you
realize...

128
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:50,110
something truly bizarre, hideous, and
unnatural.

129
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:51,710
You called?

130
00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:56,730
Garnsall, you don't count. Now, I will
believe that there's a curse only if

131
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,690
we're visited by something absolutely
disastrous.

132
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:08,250
How about a meteor falling on your
zipper?

133
00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:13,350
Fivey, listen, would you go out on stage
and fill for me?

134
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,590
I mean, you and Scooter could do that
song you were practicing.

135
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:16,810
All right, gotcha. Scooter!

136
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:17,849
I'm ready.

137
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:18,850
Here, get out there.

138
00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:20,230
Oh, boy.

139
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:22,330
I bet nothing else can happen tonight.

140
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:28,850
Oh, bets are off.

141
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:34,470
Do not fear, Earthman. We come only to
observe and ask questions.

142
00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:43,570
Fonzie, don't you think we should
introduce the number? Oh, yeah. It's

143
00:10:43,570 --> 00:10:45,850
the On Her Doorstep with me and him.

144
00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:53,090
When the heart is young and free and
spring is in full bloom, the young man's

145
00:10:53,090 --> 00:10:55,190
fancy turns to love. We know.

146
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,470
There's a pair I often see as they stand
beneath the moon.

147
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:05,190
And the other night he just let himself
go.

148
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:06,430
What did he do?

149
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:09,610
He kissed her. Who did? He did. Where?

150
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:14,690
her doorstep last night. He hugged her.
Who did? He did. Where?

151
00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:16,710
On her doorstep last night.

152
00:11:17,130 --> 00:11:21,870
He said, you are my darling Kate. And he
squeezed her fingers in the garden.

153
00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:23,810
Then he kissed her. Who did?

154
00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:25,010
He did. Where?

155
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:26,950
On her doorstep last night.

156
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:34,290
I believe

157
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,650
it. The show is cursed.

158
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,340
Kissed her. Who did? He did. Where?

159
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,320
On her doorstep last night.

160
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,260
He hugged her. Who did?

161
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:46,540
He did. Where?

162
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,380
On her doorstep last night.

163
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,500
He set you on my darling cake.

164
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:54,660
And he squeezed her fingers in the
garden. And we did.

165
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,120
You did? We did.

166
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300
Yes.

167
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,200
Yes, come right in.

168
00:12:09,790 --> 00:12:11,290
Oh, interesting, interesting.

169
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:14,130
Excuse me, I'm looking for Jacques
Cousteau.

170
00:12:15,390 --> 00:12:16,670
Would you open, please?

171
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,150
Oh. Yes, there he is.

172
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,650
Good luck to you. Thank you.

173
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:29,910
Ridding the world of evil, here comes
Bear on patrol.

174
00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:42,149
Control Bear?

175
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,390
Yes, sir!

176
00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:47,110
Listen, would you get back in uniform
before I put you on report?

177
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,630
That is not regulation headgear.

178
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:52,590
No, this is my prisoner, sir.

179
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:56,170
I caught him picking pockets at the
aquarium.

180
00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:59,250
Did you catch him wet -handed?

181
00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:02,810
Terrific.

182
00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:06,590
Listen, Control Bear, I want you to book
him. Well, how? What do you mean, how's

183
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:08,230
that? Well, you know, take a set of
fingerprints.

184
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:09,690
What?

185
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,079
I start?

186
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,760
Well, you start with the pinky.

187
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:17,600
I don't think he has a pinky. I think
they're all greenies.

188
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,680
He must have a pinky.

189
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,680
Where would he wear his pinky ring?

190
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,220
Sir, could you just get another patrol
car?

191
00:13:41,999 --> 00:13:43,040
Was that right?

192
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:47,140
Help!

193
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,560
Please, can we talk about this?

194
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:54,560
Something more important has just come
up, patrol bear.

195
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:57,900
I want you to release the patrol bear.

196
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,060
Would you release that prisoner, please?

197
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,900
You see, that call was from the
aquarium. I want you to go over there

198
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:06,579
it out.

199
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,620
Somebody stole a valuable octopus.

200
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,060
I wish you... Check,

201
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,740
Chief.

202
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,860
Let me tell you a story, my children.

203
00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:35,220
Tell...

204
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:42,720
Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs
where the future is being made today.

205
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:48,140
Well, I have good news for you world
travelers who are always struggling with

206
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,200
cumbersome luggage.

207
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,380
Introducing the new Muppet Labs luggage
compressor.

208
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:56,140
My assistant Beaker will demonstrate.

209
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:03,220
Okay, Beaker, I see you've dressed like
a tourist to make the demonstration more

210
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:05,220
realistic. Very cute.

211
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,369
All right, put the bag on.

212
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:10,810
Okay.

213
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:16,770
Oh,

214
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,230
very good.

215
00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:30,190
Now my assistant Beaker will show you
that it also works on large luggage like

216
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:31,190
steamer trunk.

217
00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:36,330
Oh, come on, Beaker. Give it the old
college try.

218
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,820
Put you in an envelope and mail you to
the hospital.

219
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,280
Yes.

220
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:10,280
Excuse me. I am Jonathan Winters. Who
are you?

221
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,400
Just a moment.

222
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:13,720
I always have to check.

223
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,160
I thought I was Jonathan Winters.

224
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:18,620
What country are you from?

225
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,840
I'm from Earth.

226
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:21,180
Are you from Earth? Yes.

227
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,620
I'm a comedian.

228
00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:24,250
Are you a comedian? Yes.

229
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:29,050
Steve Martin, gosh, you'll do anything,
won't you?

230
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,250
Beautiful costume.

231
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:46,450
When you walk

232
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:49,050
through a storm, hold your head.

233
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,499
What now?

234
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:54,780
I just met that old gypsy woman in the
alley. She made a dire prediction.

235
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,860
A dire prediction?

236
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:03,020
So what was the dire prediction?

237
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:07,980
The old gypsy woman said that in the
final stages of the curse, everyone

238
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:08,980
turn Swedish.

239
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,720
I don't believe it.

240
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:41,070
I mean some of my best friends

241
00:21:55,500 --> 00:22:00,220
Is it true that everyone is turning
Swedish?

242
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,480
I interrupt this entertainment to bring
you an important news bulletin. Not

243
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,440
everyone on the show is turning Swedish.

244
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,340
I, for one, have remained my normal
self.

245
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,880
There is one type of person unaffected
by the curse.

246
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,580
I am that type. The boring and stupid
type person.

247
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:38,460
Oh, well, actually, I am sort of
starting to feel Swedish.

248
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,040
Smorgasbord, Stockholm,

249
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,760
Ingmar Bergman.

250
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:07,760
New Gavnorska breakfast news.

251
00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:11,520
And I demand it now.

252
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:15,040
Wait a minute. I can talk. The spell is
broken.

253
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:16,340
We're saved.

254
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,300
It's just that your time is up. You guys
only paid me for the half -hour curse.

255
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:24,780
Well, thank goodness.

256
00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:29,600
So wait a second. You mean you two
geezers paid for a gypsy curse to be put

257
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,279
our show?

258
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,420
Yeah, but I didn't think it would
include us.

259
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:39,140
Will you get off the stage? Come on, off
the stage, off the stage.

260
00:23:41,860 --> 00:23:43,840
Yeah, you're $7, I promised.

261
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:47,140
So, you want the case back.

262
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,740
You got it.

263
00:24:22,129 --> 00:24:24,930
Thank you.

264
00:25:13,570 --> 00:25:18,690
One gonger spurs the blue deer. When you
spurs, you spurs the deer. One gonger

265
00:25:18,690 --> 00:25:19,810
spurs my new gonger.