1 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,360 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,840 This episode of The Muppet Show, starring Liza Minnelli, is from the 3 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,840 season of the series. 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,120 And by that time, they were getting real experimental with the format. 5 00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:20,180 This episode is a full -fledged murder mystery. 6 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,520 Are you Kermit the Private Eye? 7 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,960 Just like it says on the door, sweetheart. 8 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:26,740 Oh, good. 9 00:00:28,009 --> 00:00:32,490 Liza is one of those incredible professional performers. And while 10 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:36,330 episode, she would shoot all day long with the Muppets. And then at night, she 11 00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:40,090 rushed down to Covent Garden in London, where she was performing a series of 12 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,390 concerts. Talk about 13 00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:47,950 a trooper. 14 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,910 Hey, you seem to know a lot about these people, kid. Do you know which one is 15 00:00:50,910 --> 00:00:52,330 the killer? I sure do. 16 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:53,810 You do? Why, who? 17 00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:55,550 The murderer is... 18 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,640 Here's The Muppet Show starring Liza Minnelli. See if you can figure out who 19 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:01,640 done it. 20 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:08,780 Liza Minnelli, 15 seconds to curtain, Liza. 21 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,040 Oh, thank you, Scooter. 22 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,680 Scooter, that was a great rehearsal. 23 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,180 You think so? Yeah, let's do the show. Oh. 24 00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:32,960 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Liza Mundell. 25 00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:59,550 Run for your lives. This show is murder. 26 00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,650 That's my new hit single. 27 00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:28,490 To The Muppet Show. Our guest star tonight is one of the few ladies on 28 00:02:28,490 --> 00:02:31,570 deserve the title Superstar Miss Liza Minnelli. 29 00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:34,890 And on top of that, we're going to do a very different show tonight. 30 00:02:35,090 --> 00:02:37,890 Matter of fact, it's so different, I have to go backstage and get ready for 31 00:02:38,210 --> 00:02:40,230 Scooter, would you come in and take over for me? 32 00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:50,010 Scooter, would you stop rehearsing? It's time to start the play. 33 00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:51,410 Oh, sorry, Chief. 34 00:02:52,730 --> 00:02:57,480 Ladies and gentlemen, The Muppet players hereby present an evening of intrigue 35 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,020 and mystery. Let the murders begin. 36 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,860 There was a Wednesday evening in July. 37 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,120 Somewhere in the city, a lonely trumpet was playing. 38 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:14,560 It was a kind of a New York summer night when you expect to see lily pads 39 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:15,620 growing on Broadway. 40 00:03:17,290 --> 00:03:20,590 I was just stopping by the office for a quick root beer and browse through the 41 00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:23,550 paperwork because I had just finished a missing Poliwag case. 42 00:03:24,690 --> 00:03:28,630 Being a private eye isn't much of a job if you like class, which is why my 43 00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:30,050 visitor surprised me. 44 00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:32,150 Come in. 45 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,870 Excuse me, but are you Kermit the Private Eye? 46 00:03:45,530 --> 00:03:47,250 Just like it says on the door, sweetheart. 47 00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:49,070 Oh, good. 48 00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:53,010 Oh, I'm Liza O'Shaughnessy, the actress. 49 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,490 Perhaps you've heard of me. 50 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:59,910 I know the face from the papers and the name from the marquee, toots. 51 00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:03,250 Opening a show at the Roxy tomorrow, right? Yes. 52 00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:06,150 No, that's just it. I don't know. 53 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:10,570 Oh, you have no idea. You have no idea what a living nightmare I've been 54 00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:12,110 through. The dread, the terror. 55 00:04:12,859 --> 00:04:14,320 Try to relax, cute stuff. 56 00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,040 Sit down and tell me about it. 57 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:17,660 Okay. 58 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:24,220 Well, I got to my dressing room this morning, and I found this note. 59 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,240 Close down the show. 60 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,840 If you try to open, you will all die. 61 00:04:30,940 --> 00:04:34,520 Where'd you find it? Oh, it was ghastly. It was pinned to my dresser. 62 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,360 So? What's so ghastly? 63 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,460 Well, it was pinned with this, and my dresser's name was Gladys. 64 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,630 It is all starting to get ghastly. 65 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:49,310 But don't worry, sweet lips. I can handle it. 66 00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,630 Oh, I'm sure you can, Mr. Frog. 67 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:56,310 I place myself entirely in your... in your flippers. 68 00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:06,550 The Majestic Theater looked 69 00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:08,350 like any theater the day before opening. 70 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:13,050 While Liza went to change for rehearsal, I just hung around backstage, trying 71 00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:14,370 not to be conspicuous. 72 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,450 Quiet! 73 00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:21,330 Who let that frog in here? 74 00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,690 Okay. Let in the white drapes. 75 00:05:25,970 --> 00:05:29,610 We're going to rehearse the first act finale Liza's number. 76 00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:33,270 Miss O'Shaughnessy's not quite ready yet, Fritz. Okay. 77 00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:35,330 We'll do it with the understudy then. 78 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,420 through some dumb rehearsal. 79 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,860 You promised me I would star in this turkey. 80 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:49,480 Let me get this straight. She is Liza O'Shaughnessy's understudy? Oh, they're 81 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,540 not exactly the same type. 82 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,140 They're not exactly the same species. 83 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,540 Oh, excuse me, Miss, uh, uh, dear. 84 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,700 Fritz, darling, I'm ready for rehearsal. 85 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,060 Oh, good. Now, remember, this is your... 86 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:12,340 Big moment. Here, I want the spark. The moment of magic, the raw, unbridled 87 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,300 passion. You know what I want? 88 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:17,060 Yeah. Smile and show my legs. 89 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:20,520 There goes a pro. 90 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:40,090 Her name was Lola. 91 00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:46,470 She was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair 92 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:49,350 and a dress cut down to there. 93 00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:53,510 She would merengue and do the cha -cha. 94 00:06:53,730 --> 00:07:00,290 And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar across 95 00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:04,770 the crowded floor. They worked from eight to four. 96 00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:07,790 They were young and they had each other. 97 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,360 Who could have asked for more? 98 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,920 Her name was Lola. 99 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:28,280 She was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to 100 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:34,300 bare. She would go bangay and do the cha -cha. And while she tried to be a star. 101 00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:40,050 Tony always tended barb across the crowded floor. They worked from 8 to 4. 102 00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:45,850 They were young and they had each other. Booger asked for more. Have to go for, 103 00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:47,830 go for Cabana. 104 00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:52,210 The hottest spot, no more Cabana here. 105 00:08:07,659 --> 00:08:09,820 His name was Rico. 106 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,760 He wore a diamond. 107 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:17,780 He was escorted to his chair. He saw Lola dancing there. And when she 108 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,740 he called her over. 109 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,380 But Rico went a bit too far. 110 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:27,580 Tony sailed across the bar. And then the punches blew. And chairs were smashed 111 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:28,580 in two. 112 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,200 lost her love. 113 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:19,040 and brings herself half -blind. She lost her youth and she lost her Tony. Now 114 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,480 she's lost her mind. 115 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:03,950 Oh, 116 00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:06,550 I'm so glad you liked it. 117 00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:10,710 Oh, you're too good to be a person. You should have been a saxophone. 118 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,550 Does that mean that I'm your... sax symbol? 119 00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:18,430 Whatever. 120 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,710 A wonderful rehearsal. 121 00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:24,130 Oh, a wonderful Miss O'Shaughnessy. 122 00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:25,510 Okay, everybody. 123 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:27,070 Take three. 124 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:31,150 Take three? I bet you run a tight ship. 125 00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:44,130 I'm afraid he's... 126 00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:51,230 He's 127 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,230 dead. 128 00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:56,570 Like now the show will never go on. 129 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,010 What are you people saying? 130 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:04,310 Fritz was a man of the theater. He died trying to turn the grease paint and 131 00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:05,710 pencil into magic. 132 00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:08,530 Why, this show can be his final tribute. 133 00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,590 Fritz would have wanted it this way. 134 00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:16,860 When you're down and out, lift up your head and shout, there's gonna be a great 135 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:19,240 day. Come on on stage, everybody. 136 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,560 Oh, don't step on Prince. 137 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:28,340 Angels in the sky, farmers that buy and buy, there's gonna be a great day. 138 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:08,859 Stan's so people. 139 00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:11,160 A murder is committed and they all go out and sing. 140 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,860 And to make things worse, the police assigned Patrolman Bear to the case. 141 00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:17,540 Patrolman Bear reporting for duty, sir. 142 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:20,440 I thought you were on slug detail at the laundromat. 143 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,620 Sir, I am going to ask these people some questions. 144 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Okay, just be subtle. 145 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:28,660 Gotcha. 146 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,160 All right. 147 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,500 Which one of you killed the director? 148 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:33,880 Not me. 149 00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,060 Well, they're all in the clear, sir. 150 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:40,540 What do you mean? 151 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,560 Miss Piggy hated him because he made her the understudy. She thought she should 152 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:45,560 have been the star. 153 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,860 The band hated him because they hadn't been paid for three weeks. 154 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,600 Hey, you seem to know a lot about these people, kid. Do you know which one is 155 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,020 the killer? I sure do. 156 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,320 You do? Who? 157 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,360 The murderer is... 158 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,350 The murderer is in that dressing room. 159 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,630 All I saw was a hand throw a knife. 160 00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:18,910 It was awful. 161 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,470 Well, that may be just the clue we need, sweetheart. 162 00:13:21,950 --> 00:13:24,150 I'm going to go in there and catch us a murderer. 163 00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:25,930 Oh, Kermit. Hmm? 164 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:45,740 many times before in my line of work, whenever I enter a darkened room, I 165 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:46,740 get chilled. 166 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,840 And a few contusions. 167 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,100 And it's not only the darkness that's scary. 168 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,860 There's that weird music they always play. 169 00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,820 There's one thing about darkness. 170 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:04,120 Although I can't see my enemy, my enemy can't see me. 171 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,080 Unless he's got a flashlight. 172 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,940 Like, wow, is there really any point in rehearsing this? 173 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,340 Oh, come on, Mama. You know what they say. The show must go on. 174 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,800 Go what? Go what? 175 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:23,900 Yeah, but it's real hard to go on if we're all dead. 176 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,220 Dead! Dead! 177 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,240 Oh, please. I'd rather rehearse and listen to that. 178 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,360 Good. Here's the singing group. Let's run this little beauty. 179 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,400 Okay. Hit it, animal. 180 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,360 Your temper's getting the top hand. All you gotta do is just stop and pass that 181 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,620 peace button, bury that hatchet. Like jock -toys, chicken -sauce, Chattanooga, 182 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:49,780 Chippewas. Do. 183 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,900 And if you're feeling mad as a wet hen, mad as you can possibly get, then pass 184 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:59,740 that peace button, bury that tomahawk. Like those Chichimex, Cherokees, 185 00:14:59,740 --> 00:15:00,740 specs. Do. 186 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,020 Don't be cranky. 187 00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,120 Try to use a little restraint. 188 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,480 Hold that hanky. And wipe off all of that war paint. 189 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:15,370 And if you find yourself in a fury, be your own judge and your own jury. Pass 190 00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:18,290 that piece, pop and bury that hatchet like the Choctaws, Chickasaws, 191 00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:19,610 Chattahoochies, Chippewas do. 192 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:27,130 Even in colonial days, you knew the ceremonial ways to pass that piece, pop 193 00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:30,490 bury that tomahawk like those Chicootamies, Chippa -Chucks and 194 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:36,450 Pull your ears in, try to use a little control. 195 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:42,580 When all clears in, you'll be top man on the totem pole. So if you want to be an 196 00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:46,780 all right guy, not a long -faced, losing -the -night guy, write that apology and 197 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,760 dispatch it. When you quarrel, it's grand to patch it. That's that beast, 198 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,000 bury that hatchet like the chocolate chicken sauce. 199 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:08,739 You're mine. 200 00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:10,160 Mine. Mine. 201 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,280 Kermit. Kermit. 202 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,660 Oh, Kermit. Oh, poor fallen frog. Speak to me. Say something. 203 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,820 Is that your Miss O'Shaughnessy? 204 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:28,360 Oh, Kermit. Thank goodness you're all right. 205 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,600 Oh, you scared me to death. Come over here. 206 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:35,260 For a minute, I thought you'd croaked. Well, I tried to, but I was too weak. 207 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,840 No, somebody slugged me. 208 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,179 They did? 209 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,180 Mm -hmm. 210 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,480 Oh, they did indeed. My goodness, you've got a nasty bump back here. Let me rub 211 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,480 it. Huh? 212 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:46,700 Does it hurt? 213 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,000 Just when you rub it. Oh, I'm sorry. 214 00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:52,400 Oh, Liza, you know, I'm not getting anywhere with your case. Maybe you 215 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,400 get somebody else. 216 00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:58,360 Wait a minute. What are you talking about, Kermit? I don't want... anybody 217 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,780 I want you. You're my main frog. 218 00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:04,400 Yeah, but I thought I'd have it solved by now. I thought I'd be a big hero and 219 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,060 there'd be triumphant celebration and all. Hold it. Wait a minute. 220 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,319 Listen to me. 221 00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:16,020 I want to tell you something. When you solve this case and you're going to 222 00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:21,079 it, you'll be so happy you won't need any celebration. 223 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,420 You won't need anything. 224 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:25,540 No, no. 225 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,480 Come here and listen. 226 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:34,440 When it all comes true Just 227 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:40,900 the way you've planned It's funny But the bells 228 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:47,680 don't ring It's a quiet thing 229 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:52,100 When you hold 230 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:03,530 You'd think you'd hear a choir sing. 231 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,350 It's a quiet thing. 232 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,350 There are no exploding fireworks. 233 00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:18,550 Where's the roaring of the crowd? 234 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:24,430 Maybe it's the strange new... 235 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,120 The clouds. 236 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,300 What? I don't hear the drums. 237 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,360 And I don't hear the band. 238 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,280 I know. The sounds you're told. 239 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,960 Such moments bring. 240 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,560 Happiness comes in. 241 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,560 What do you know? 242 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,360 Well, what do you know? 243 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,900 It's a quiet thing. 244 00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:10,660 It's a quiet thing. 245 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:18,180 A very quiet 246 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,940 thing. 247 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,380 Nobody listens to lyrics anymore. 248 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:50,020 Meanwhile, down in the canteen... All right, do you have an alibi? 249 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,500 I have a halibut. 250 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:55,440 No, no, an alibi. You know, somebody who can say where you were. 251 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,840 Yeah, a halibut. You had ridden me all day. 252 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,660 Ah, poison! 253 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:09,480 This man was murdered to shut him up. No, he wasn't. He choked on a fish bone. 254 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,080 But he yelled, poison! 255 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,020 Which, I believe, is the French word for fish. 256 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:17,920 Wait, 257 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,100 it must be the food. 258 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,060 No, no, no, it's the good soup. 259 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,980 Okay. What? Now, you got the plan? 260 00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:44,220 Yes, I've got the plan. 261 00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:47,140 But, Kermit, how can you be certain this is going to work? 262 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,720 You've got to trust me, kid. 263 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,880 Now, you know what to do? Of course, smile and show my legs. 264 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,720 No, no, no, that was the other guy. 265 00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,000 Oh, yeah, right, right. 266 00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:58,800 Yes, trust me, I know what to do. Okay, okay, here we go. 267 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,580 You just take a seat over there. 268 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:04,360 Uh, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen. 269 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,800 Kermit! 270 00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,720 Fozzie, Fozzie, don't worry, just sit down. All will be revealed. 271 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:09,929 Yes, sir. 272 00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:12,590 Now, you may be wondering why I've called you all together. 273 00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:16,630 Well, the fact is Miss O'Shaughnessy has discovered the identity of the 274 00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:17,630 murderer. 275 00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:19,910 Yes, it's true. 276 00:21:20,550 --> 00:21:22,850 It's a secret, though I haven't even told Kermit. 277 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:29,130 I know who committed these dastardly, cold -blooded, heinous crimes, these 278 00:21:29,130 --> 00:21:30,130 murders. 279 00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:32,670 I hereby accuse... 280 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:06,420 Curtain has fallen. 281 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,200 I've played my last role. 282 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,660 Good night, sweet prince. 283 00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:12,780 Hello, death. 284 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,480 Somebody call a doctor! 285 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:16,800 Too late, green buddy. 286 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,880 Give my regards to Broadway. 287 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:20,680 Remember me, too. 288 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:22,720 Harold Square? 289 00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:25,700 Now forget him. Harold's really square. 290 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,280 Bye -bye. 291 00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:29,920 Oh, no! Not Liza! 292 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,820 We love Liza! No, we didn't mean to bump her off! 293 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,580 No, just the rest of you guys. 294 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,440 I knew it. 295 00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:39,800 Scratch a critic and you get an assassin. 296 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,900 Then your death scene was a trick? 297 00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:46,560 Well, after all, darling, I mean, I am an actress. 298 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,160 Bravo! Bravo! 299 00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:51,000 Yeah, best performance we've seen on this show in years. 300 00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:54,060 Okay, Fonzie, take him away. 301 00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:58,660 Yes, sir. All right, here we go. Let's run a book at him. Okay, sir. 302 00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,980 Congratulations, you did it. Well, we did it. 303 00:23:06,140 --> 00:23:09,420 Yeah. And I guess that's the end. 304 00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:12,940 Oh, no, Kermit. That's not the end. 305 00:23:13,980 --> 00:23:15,720 This is the end. 306 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:46,100 Take a bop! 307 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:16,760 Just you wait. 308 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,700 That lucky star. 309 00:25:07,150 --> 00:25:10,270 like to say what an honor it's been for this little green frog to work with miss 310 00:25:10,270 --> 00:25:16,130 Liza Minnelli oh 311 00:25:16,130 --> 00:25:20,730 thank you so much I can't tell you what a thrill it's been being on your show 312 00:25:20,730 --> 00:25:24,210 tonight oh that's nice and you know something else I've always wanted to do 313 00:25:24,210 --> 00:25:28,030 you know like a murder mystery like we did oh by the way can I keep this uh 314 00:25:28,030 --> 00:25:32,290 trick knife as a souvenir a trick knife yes it's only a prop see 315 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,860 20 years. If I'd known that judge was giving us the box, I'd have asked for 316 00:26:22,860 --> 00:26:23,860 chair.